I am not living so long in Rome but I experienced it totally different. At the Agenzia Entrate they were so nice, even If I did not have an appointment they helped me. All people or random people on the streets were so nice, talked to me, tried to speak Italian with me, even If I am not good at it. I had so many random conversations with Italians, that’s just so amazing. I had just so good experiences so far.
Friend, you're an empath... that's why you're sensitive & creative and compassionate and open hearted. It's a beautiful trait --- it can be challenging wherever you live. Keep going! Love your videos!
hey, could you post a video about your experience of renting a budget-friendly house in rome? it's been quite a challenge for me as a student. thank you!
Hey, thanks for the idea. Sorry it's been a challenge for you. I'd suggest asking your school for tips/recommendations, although maybe you've already tried that...
Wow !!! You had a great experience living in Rome... I would like to move from Hamburg to Rome just for weather... But now i am a bit confused... Thank you for sharing..🙏
Alyssa, I had to comment because it takes SO much courage to talk about the negative sides of living abroad (probably why most people highlight only the positives). You should be so proud of yourself for making this video. I relate to everything you said here! Having a hard time doesn’t mean you don’t love the country and it’s very clear to all of us following you that you have the upmost respect and admiration for Italian culture. Thanks for this video! Felt like chatting with a friend who gets it!!
I'm considering moving to Rome from the USA for grad school. I don't know much Italian, and I don't plan to on having a vehicle. Should I reconsider? Do you have any other advice?
Definitely come for grad school, you'll have a great time. You don't need a car at all in Rome- in fact I suggest people not have one. Driving and parking here is way too chaotic and I would never do it. You don't need it either - public transit, bike, walk, taxi... Maybe try to learn some basic Italian, it won't hurt. But you'll be fine (:
Hey Alyssa, I completely understand you as I’m a very sensitive person and cry quite easily. Something that helped me a lot, is to not take anything personally. What I mean by that is to understand that these people when they say stranieri, when they look at you rolling their eyes they are not really attacking you. They’re just projecting their inner fears. People who are not use to mingle with different cultures tend to have a tunnel vision which can be very blindsided sadly that’s why you should not take anything personally they don’t really know you they are just afraid of the projection of your being but not really you. Hope it’s clear. Please one book you should read and definitely changed my life forever is called the mastery of love, I think it’ll definitely help you too to face the challenges of this life without taking things personally again. All the best 🤍
Hi, Alyssa, Thank you for sharing your experience in Rome. I'm origially from Japan, and in a few month due to my husband work, will move to Rome. It was actually good to know your challenges in Rome. So I can be ready :-) and at least I can understand the rudeness or harassment is not happened because of being asian. I will learn Italian but will be ready that they might not want to speak with my in Italian.. In the big city, maybe this often happens.. (People in Tokyo is more reluctant to talk with foreginers than other small cities.)
Hello, I moved to Rome in 1986 for about three years. It's kind of crazy but I ran into many of the same problems that you are talking about now. Immigration was never a good experience. I can hold my own in most social situations with my Italian but when there are more "official words" thrown in I struggle a bit. So, I am talking with an immigration agent asking what some of the words he was using meant, he would not explain. Okay, I'm in Italy and it's my responsibility to come prepared so I tell him I will make a new appointment and come back with a translator for the difficult part of the conversation. I get up to leave, walk away a few feet and stop to put my documents away etc. A tall blond woman sits down with the agent that I had just been talking to. I hear her tell the agent she doesn't speak Italian; he stops her and says, "no problem I speak English" and he proceeds to have a fluent conversation in English with her. I couldn't believe it. Rome was wonderful but there were many struggles. I was 19 when I moved there. Many of the struggles I went through were because of my age and I was "growing up", I would have had the same struggles anywhere else. I was lucky that I had many Roman friends because I was there to race my bike. I did feel welcome but without the cycling I would not have had the same experience. Some of the things I turned to was journaling, reading and photography. Is there a local activity that you could get involved in? Volunteer with animals or the elderly? I had to turn off some of my American memories. Holidays were tough when I didn't have an invite to spend them with friends. Felt very "on my own" then!! I know it also helped when I dressed more like a Roman. Not looking like a tourist helped with the level of acceptance in general public. Hopefully some of my words have helped. Rome can be absolutely incredible at times and then a punch in the gut at other times but so can life in general. What you are doing is wonderful and to be applauded. You are doing something that many people are too afraid to do. Don't let the people who roll their eyes at "stranieri" win the day, sometimes you have to roll your eyes and say" stupidi"????
Hi Brian, Thanks so much for sharing your story. That's wild, what happened to you at immigration! And very good suggestions- I have looked in to volunteering, that's such a great idea, thank you. You made me laugh at the end hehe you do have to have a sense of humor and try to not take things personally! Thanks for the encouragement 😄💛
I’m Italian 🇮🇹 and I think you got it right to the extent that it is a big city but i would say that it happens to me as well to be treated the same way whether i’m in Rome or somewhere else with just few exceptions so I suggest you to get used to it
@@AlyssaMaeFriend se sei interessata a praticare con Skype or whatever (solo audio) fammi sapere. Io sto praticando inglese da molti anni con consistenza e sono sempre alla ricerca di chi è veramente intenzionato a praticare. Ovviamente we gotta be pretty flexible so not that strict with the schedule. Fammi sapere. Btw uso solo audio perché posso praticare ovunque con il telefono.
Dear Alyssa, it was really interesting to hear the negative side as well. I heard that Italians don't like foreigners, but then again maybe it's because you come from a completely different world. Let's say I'm from Croatia and we're very similar to Italians. But that story when you go to a store 😕and also when you said hello to that woman and she replied to you stranieri😒The thing that surprised me the most is that Italians don't like new friendships.🙄Life can be challenging wherever you go. There is good and bad in everyone. Be happy that you visited such a magical city, but I believe that it can be like that in many places. Here is a person who told me about New York that it is wonderful, but she didn't felt comfortable with the people there. Warm hugs to you and your soooooo sweet dog.❤️ p.s. I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love, based on a true story, and a woman from America was also in Italy and was so well received there. That movie with Julia Roberts is wonderful.❤️Alenka😘
Hello sweet Alenka 💛 thank you for writing. I always look forward to hearing from you. Maybe you're right, that I'm very different, compared to a fellow European, or even someone from the Mediterranean area. hehe at the end of the video when I said "like a movie" I was thinking about Eat Pray Love, I just didn't say it 😊 It's one of my all time favorite movies ✨ you read my mind!
Awww Alyssa 😫😭 you’ve been here longer than I have but I can definitely relate to a lot of the things you said. While I have made great friends at school, no one stays as long as I am staying so I keep making friends just to watch them leave after a month or two, so I understand that “alone” feeling 😢. I’m also at the point where I miss some of the familiar things and I’m feeling the homesickness way more than usual. I remember all those things you mentioned about living in Rome, which is why I prefer living in Bologna. I absolutely loved living in Rome, it’s beautiful and so iconic, but I definitely don’t miss the people touching/grabbing me on public transport 🤮 the catcalling, the rudeness when I tried to speak Italian and the other stuff you mentioned. Like you said, it’s a big capital city so obviously other cities in Italy will be different, but racism and other ugly things are unfortunately apparent in every city 😢. But you’re doing a great job and I appreciate you sharing this honesty!! ❤
Hi Shea 💛💛 I thought about you while I was talking about making friends. You seem to always be talking about your Italian friends or people you've met in Bologna, and I think that's great!! But yes, people do seem to come and go a lot here. I'm happy you could relate to a lot of what I was saying. It's always nice to know you're not alone. And the more I think about it, the more I want to give other cities a try. Who knows.. maybe Bologna will be on the list!
Enlightening and candid. Thank you for sharing. To your point, it is easy to share all of the positive things but you have to be willing to show vulnerability to share the things that make you uncomfortable. I wish you all the best. Your videos and commentary are great.
I'm sure it is a big challenge living in Rome. No matter how many times I visit, I can NEVER get them to speak to me in Italian. Rome is my favorite city in the world, but I have reservations about choosing it as my home. I think living in a decent-sized city that is well connected allows one to go to Rome as often as desired, but maybe enjoy living in a more welcoming place. I think of some of the more progressive cities, like Bologna, for example, which, as I'm sure you are aware, is a university town and a center of language learning. It is also an italy that is less xenophobic than Rome can tend to be. They call it "Bologna il rosso" for more than just the roof tiles. The politics are more progressive and less reactionary. I do think the smaller and medium sized cities that have access to trains and airports present an even more affordable and immersive experience. Perugia comes to mind too. Lecce down in Puglia is a gem. I'm glad you raised this topic, as it is vital for people to understand a broader picture of italian life before making the move. I worry that my husband may not be as enamored with it as I am. I'm sure you have some requirement to stay put while your visa process completes, but I would encourage you to look at other parts of Italy that are well connected without the need for an automobile or the need to hitch a ride. I always love seeing a new video from you, because every one of them is from the heart. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!
It's my favorite city in the world, too ❤️ I agree though, I think a smaller and well connected place might be better to actually LIVE in and call home. Thank you for those ideas - Bologna, Perugia, & Lecce. Maybe I'll spend a couple months in all of them and see how I feel there. I really do need to see more of Italy outside Rome. I haven't seen much. When you and your husband come and maybe buy a house, would you be staying for large portions of the year? Or maybe just a holiday home? Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment. I always love hearing from you, Michael!!
I agree. Bologna is the sweet spot and certainly on the more progressive side for Italy (as opposed to the general Italian vibe to cling onto the past) hence why many expats love it. Just a minor connection, it’s ‘la rossa’ Bologna and all cities are female in Italian 👍🏻
It is a sensitive topic, and you're right. Go figure that my Mother is Italian, I grew up there, have a home there, and I still get called a straniero. Keep your chin up, kiddo.
I’ve just come across your channel and I’m binge watching your videos 😂 Please don’t be put off by the rudeness and narrow-mindedness of some Italians. We’re not all like that! 😂You do come off as a very sweet and likeable person. I love people from other countries who decide to put down roots here… You bring different colours! Italy is just too Italian! You’re a great asset to the country. Keep it up 💪🏻
I live in a smaller city in Romagna and I get some of that rudeness, but I think not as much. People here are mostly fairly kind to me, and my Italian language skills are sub-par, so I’m lucky to be where I am. I relate very much with that lack of independence feeling. But ultimately, it is a beautiful life here. Be proud of yourself for what you have achieved, it’s hard but you are doing it:)
Hi there😊 It makes me happy to hear that you experience kindness where you are, especially as you're trying to learn a new language. It IS a beautiful life here! Thank you for your kind words 💛✨
@@AlyssaMaeFriendbe more respectful of Italians nd Italy!! Most Italians are friendly!!! I m glad to block you nd to follow other more kind clever channels
I’m in Rome now. Here for two months and am deciding whether or not to move here and finish my studies (and just live here for good). I just experienced something of the sort (being “hated on”) in a Conad store. I didn’t realize I had to weight and label my produce and she got maaaaaad. She threw my receipt at me afterwards. I stayed in my airbnb for like 3 days after that. Its nice to know that I should toughen up and realize this may be something I have to deal with. It is a very VERY lonely feeling. I wish I could find even a small community here. Regardless of this, I do live this country. I have met nice people. Thanks so much for this!!
Yeah it can be tough.. I encounter someone rude every time I leave my house lol you have to just decide to let it go and not let it get to you. I'm literally still learning this and trying to navigate it. It's hard. ❤️❤️ Even just this morning I dealt with someone extremely rude and entitled. And yesterday I was taking a photo of pizza at a supermarket and the employee freaked out and yelled at me (why??? who knows!) and everyone just stared at me lol You gotta let that go. It's a part of living in Rome. PS maybe you could become more Italian and start yelling back hahaha
I hope things go well for you❤ I experienced some similar problems in Rome and Naples as well so I understand where you’re coming from and I was only visiting😮
Hi Alyssa I arrived in Italy from France two months ago and moved to Rome a month ago. I can relate to some of the points you raised but not all. Two months on, my Italian language skills are almost inexistant, yet, thanks to Google Translate, and the little English or French people speak back, I can get by without too much trouble. So far, no one has ever been abrupt or impolite with me. Perhaps, as you said, you are too sensitive, or your approach is a little off. Difficult to tell. Could it be because you are overconfident when you speak Italian? As I am so bad with the language, the person in front of me has no other choice but make an effort. And I keep smiling all through the encounter. Well, I do my best not to look frustrated. One thing I agree with, is how dirty Rome is. Rubbish is almost everywhere. I come from France, and I know Paris fairly well. I thought that it was a dirty place compared to my provincial town, however, Rome and its suburbs are on another level. I don’t know why the inhabitants don’t complain to the mayor... Ok, they might be partly responsible for the dirtiness themselves, but it’s not just them. Some areas look like no City employee has ever swept the pavement… I take the bus often, as I live near Tivoli and the buses to Rome’s Métro are numerous and frequent. So much so that I haven’t needed my car the whole month. However, it’s about one hour commute to Colosseo. There is one thing that drives me crazy on the public transport, and it’s the people talking loudly on their phone, or playing games or listening to videos without headphones. Last thing I find striking, is the high number of tourists there is, not just in Rome, but pretty much anywhere in Italy, yet, at the time of writing this comment, we are in the middle of the low season, and I didn’t expect so many people. I have no plans to go back to France for the time being, however, it’s obvious to me, now I know Spain, the UK and Italy better, that we, French people, are bloody lucky to have what we have in our country. Yet, we keep complaining. That’s probably one of the reasons I left. Going to spend next month in Naples, but will definitely comme back to spend a month or even longer in Rome. It’s a fabulous city indeed. And I must add that I like the Italian people and I just adore listening to them talking
Hi, u said u are grateful for France and what it has, but u still don’t want to go back? Also if u could move/live somewhere where would it be? What about Montreal vs Paris/France? Sorry to ask this but is it possible to find a well paid job in France and live comfortably or is it too difficult? Is there demand for English teachers?
I traveled by myself to Italy in April. I love talking to people, but I never felt welcomed by locals. I had fun with German tourists and other Americans. I can't wait to come back but I am alot like you, sensitive, or as my mom always said, too sensitive. Not sure if my soft heart could live there. But it is so beautiful and the food is delicious, I will be back. I hope you find some equally sensitive friends. Also locals that admire your tenacity to learn the language. I think you are amazing.
Jill, thank you so much for commenting this. That was so kind of you. This video has been getting some more views lately and I get comments sometimes that make me feel completely misunderstood lol Anyway, thanks💛 you're lovely 🥰 ps some of my family members always said I was "too sensitive" but I think it can actually be a superpower 😘💪🏻
I feel you. I’m a very sensitive empath as well but I’ve been working on it for quite a while and I taught myself that it’s just me most of the time, when you stop caring, like really, it starts working. I stopped taking random people’s actions personally. Yeah it’s annoying right at that moment but now I can get my self out of that feeling quite easier than before. I’m Turkish and the heaviest feeling of not belonging and being exposed to rudeness was in Israel. My first time was horrible. Then I went there again. I figured israelis were not specifically rude towards me. It’s just their social texture. They are direct. Too direct for me but on the other hand, I was just being less direct for them. So nmy second visit was waaaay better than the first one. I’m about to move to Rome from Istanbul in a couple of months so I’m here to know what people experience. Most videos I’ve been watching happened do be made by Americans. I understand their frustrations about some “issues”. But luckily for me, my country is quite similar to Italy in terms of behavior, burocracy, public codes etc. Even while I’m living here in Istanbul, I made so many great great great Italian friends and they actually helped me so much about my moving and paperwork that I doubt if any of my Turkish friends would bother that much. This one if not particularly for you but more general; people usually expect to have a wonderful life where they want to live and ignore the fact that life happens everywhere, in different forms. We all have a hard time managing our expectations. In my case, I only want to be in Rome for a while because I’m simply in love but I accept all probable and unexpected problems life will offer me there. I will have problems anywhere on this planet and I do have problems in my own country as well. Hope we get the chance to meet and talk over a slice of pizza at the piazza madonna dei monti :) Thanks for this great video and be well.
I am thinking about Anita Ekberg and Ingrid Thulin, as I am Swedish and fan of Italian cinema. 😊 Both were great moviestars, but Ekberg did'nt have it easy in her later years, living mostly alone in Rome, despite her past stardom. Perhaps it was a bit easier to live as a Foreigner in Italy back in the 60's,70's and 80's. 🤔 Europe as a whole has become more globalized in the last ten years, and some countries have received waves of migration, with it comes unease, and sometimes fear of loss of cultural identity. Italy is also a rather young democracy and there is often a widespread mistrust against political authority. State bureucracy can be a bit of hazzle. A friend of mine lived in France for eight years in the 80's and there were chauvinsm and many mishaps among all the great things as well. France and Italy have many similarities, as well as great culture and that very special charm. But you probably have to have grow a "thick skin" living in both these countries.
That's very insightful, thank you. I think you do have to have a thick skin in these countries, otherwise, you might get squashed. I'm learning this 😉 I was just speaking with my boyfriend's mother, and she was saying how Rome in the 60's was so amazing. And I've always wished I could time travel to Rome in the 60's, so you're probably right!
Italy is a dead nation. We are dying as an ethnicity, since no one makes children anymore, and economically, due to our ignorance and third world mentality. The process is now irreversible and all intelligent Italians are leaving. We will become like Algeria.
You made a very good point, Mrs Ekberg despite being a big movie star in her youth, died alone and nearly forgotten near Rome, I wonder why She didnt move back to Sweden or USA
sai per la rudezza, credo molto dipenda dalla devastante crisi economica, che l'Italia attraversa da 18 anni...you know 18 years is a long time, it gets worse year after year, and it's nerve wracking
Hi Alyssa, you are very young and sweet and easily hurt by rudeness….. I understand that…. But I just came back from my first visit to Rome, 5 days by myself. I am 74 and have a thicker skin……I stayed in Monti…. Here would be my advice: live in a neighborhood where things are more accessible. Make friends with other non Italians so you won’t feel so alone. I met a random woman on a tour who turned out to live 15 min from me in CA and walks her dog in the same park I do! Trouble finding a job, you may not realize there is a high level of corruption in Italy and you have to pay $ under the table to get a job….so don’t give up, it’s a very brave thing you are accomplishing…. and I don’t blame Rome people for being tired of foreigners…… I don’t think I’d enjoy being a local in a place which has become millions of people’s Disneyland!💜💜💜😎💜💜
Hi Jeanne, thanks for taking the time to comment. I know you mean well by sharing this advice. I just wanted to point out that I have lived in Rome since 2015, so I’ve been here a lot longer than a quick vacation. Living somewhere is very different than just visiting for a few days, so the things I was talking about in this video really wear you down after years of dealing with it. Also, I’m not that young, approaching 33! I recognize I’m a very sensitive person, and I don’t think age has much to do with that... Anyway thanks again- glad you enjoyed your time in Rome!
I understand…. 9 years is a lot longer than 5 days!wow, I don’t think I could live by myself in Italy that long……you don’t look 33 you look much younger…. My neighbor grew up in Rome, and he told me, “yah, it’s fine for tourists in the city center but for residents in regular ‘hoods the garbage piled up etc etc really wears us down….” I just offered my 2 cents worth from what I experienced…. anyway I do honor and respect your bravery living somewhere not USA. 💜it does take a certain kind of strength. Real life is not a curated Instagram feed of only the pluses!💜
@@AlyssaMaeFriend I have a job offer as a design engineer in Rome and I stayed and documented myself to learn about Rome and I don't know whether to accept or not
Thanks for sharing this. I am experiencing the same living in Spain (I'm British), including rudeness, mistreatment. I am trying to process all of this now and decide whether living in Spain is even worth it
I'm sorry to hear that ❤️ maybe it's just about the city you're in.. ROME is chaotic and filled with rude people lol but other small towns have lovely happy people... maybe try to explore a different area before giving up completely. It can be really hard to move to a new country, so good for you and be proud of yourself for trying💛💛
Hey Alyssa, I only watched your video today, and I've been living in Italy for two years. I have to say it's a really hard country to love. I moved here because my husband works here. It took me over 8 months to get my family reunion visa and 6 months to get my Permesso. My experience with my husband's colleagues has been fantastic- they are all kind and speak with me in English if they need to. But 90% of the rudeness I've experienced has been from people at a 'counter', in hospitals, train stations, supermarkets, etc. There is a good amount of racism (we are Indian) and a whole lot of patriarchy. The restaurant staff never bring me the bill, even though I'm always the one to ask, and I'm the one who's paying for my party. We're going through fertility treatments, and each appointment takes months! Convoluted healthcare system, expensive tests, and tonnes of paperwork. Italy also refused my parents' visa to visit me on flimsy reasons: hundreds of Euros, lots of running from pillar to post, lots of 14-hour journey days and stress for my aged parents, lots of shattered dreams. I do miss my parents and I want to show them the world. Italy just makes it impossible. I hope you're coping well with it, hang in there! Hugs XX
I'm so sorry to hear about your negative experiences 💔 thank you for sharing. Everyone's experiences in Italy are completely different, and I like being able to talk freely about the more negative sides. Most people on social media make it sound like a perfect life, dream destination, but they don't actually talk about what real life is like. I wish they did. So, thanks for sharing. I hope things start to get better for you 💛
Roman here, sorry but Rome has never been managed so badly in all her history as during these days. I apologies for the dirtiness, piles of garbage and unreliable public transportation.
Ciao Alyssa! I hope you are having a good evening? As a Brit living in Rome, I am super excited to be part of your RUclips community (I have Subscribed, and Hit the notification bell)!. I agree with most of your stuff, but I only disagree with the part about not feeling welcomed in Rome. I moved to Rome in July 2020 (After the covid lockdowns in Italy and the UK. I was originally meant to move in March 2020 (4 days after the UK Lockdown started), and I had no choice but to cancel my move, but I still went with it anyway)! I'd like to connect with you. Please message me on RUclips! I need more friends!
Hi Alyssa :) I just discovered your channel. I'm glad you shared your negative and not-so-good experiences because they need to be heard. I'm currently living in Rome too for the whole year, doing my Erasmus, which is also an experience barely no one talks about with honesty. It is exciting, you learn a lot and visit beautiful things, but you feel lonely too, because as you said, there are language barriers and sometimes people don't want to make the effort of talking another language. I will be around for a long time, so if it doesn't sound weird to you, we could do something together :) I'll write to you a DM on Instagram. Of course if you don't feel like it, there's no problem. I send you a big hug and my best wishes ❤️
Ciao Maria, thank you for this thoughtful comment💛 I'm glad we could share some of these feelings and know that we can understand each other a little bit. Yes, write me!! That sounds fun 😊
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I am not living so long in Rome but I experienced it totally different. At the Agenzia Entrate they were so nice, even If I did not have an appointment they helped me. All people or random people on the streets were so nice, talked to me, tried to speak Italian with me, even If I am not good at it. I had so many random conversations with Italians, that’s just so amazing. I had just so good experiences so far.
That's great, I'm happy for you! 💛😊🥰
Friend, you're an empath... that's why you're sensitive & creative and compassionate and open hearted. It's a beautiful trait --- it can be challenging wherever you live. Keep going! Love your videos!
🥹😥 thank you❤️❤️
Hi Alyssa, thank you for this video
Good luck with your move (:
I’m thinking of living here for a couple months this winter
hey, could you post a video about your experience of renting a budget-friendly house in rome? it's been quite a challenge for me as a student. thank you!
Hey, thanks for the idea. Sorry it's been a challenge for you. I'd suggest asking your school for tips/recommendations, although maybe you've already tried that...
Wow !!! You had a great experience living in Rome... I would like to move from Hamburg to Rome just for weather... But now i am a bit confused... Thank you for sharing..🙏
Alyssa, I had to comment because it takes SO much courage to talk about the negative sides of living abroad (probably why most people highlight only the positives). You should be so proud of yourself for making this video. I relate to everything you said here! Having a hard time doesn’t mean you don’t love the country and it’s very clear to all of us following you that you have the upmost respect and admiration for Italian culture. Thanks for this video! Felt like chatting with a friend who gets it!!
Thank you, Bella ❤️❤️ I feel better knowing you can relate and that it came across like chatting with a friend (what a relief) hehe
I'm considering moving to Rome from the USA for grad school. I don't know much Italian, and I don't plan to on having a vehicle. Should I reconsider? Do you have any other advice?
Definitely come for grad school, you'll have a great time. You don't need a car at all in Rome- in fact I suggest people not have one. Driving and parking here is way too chaotic and I would never do it. You don't need it either - public transit, bike, walk, taxi...
Maybe try to learn some basic Italian, it won't hurt. But you'll be fine (:
@@AlyssaMaeFriend thank you so much!
I live in tuscany… sometimes its hard for us too
Hey Alyssa, I completely understand you as I’m a very sensitive person and cry quite easily. Something that helped me a lot, is to not take anything personally. What I mean by that is to understand that these people when they say stranieri, when they look at you rolling their eyes they are not really attacking you. They’re just projecting their inner fears. People who are not use to mingle with different cultures tend to have a tunnel vision which can be very blindsided sadly that’s why you should not take anything personally they don’t really know you they are just afraid of the projection of your being but not really you. Hope it’s clear. Please one book you should read and definitely changed my life forever is called the mastery of love, I think it’ll definitely help you too to face the challenges of this life without taking things personally again. All the best 🤍
That's really great advice, thank you so much💛
Finally found someone who's talking straight without fake image ❤. Nice content keep on going.
Hi, Alyssa, Thank you for sharing your experience in Rome. I'm origially from Japan, and in a few month due to my husband work, will move to Rome. It was actually good to know your challenges in Rome. So I can be ready :-) and at least I can understand the rudeness or harassment is not happened because of being asian. I will learn Italian but will be ready that they might not want to speak with my in Italian.. In the big city, maybe this often happens.. (People in Tokyo is more reluctant to talk with foreginers than other small cities.)
I'm glad I could help! Good luck with your move, I'm sure you will do great here in Rome 💛
Thank you
Hello,
I moved to Rome in 1986 for about three years. It's kind of crazy but I ran into many of the same problems that you are talking about now. Immigration was never a good experience. I can hold my own in most social situations with my Italian but when there are more "official words" thrown in I struggle a bit. So, I am talking with an immigration agent asking what some of the words he was using meant, he would not explain. Okay, I'm in Italy and it's my responsibility to come prepared so I tell him I will make a new appointment and come back with a translator for the difficult part of the conversation. I get up to leave, walk away a few feet and stop to put my documents away etc. A tall blond woman sits down with the agent that I had just been talking to. I hear her tell the agent she doesn't speak Italian; he stops her and says, "no problem I speak English" and he proceeds to have a fluent conversation in English with her. I couldn't believe it.
Rome was wonderful but there were many struggles. I was 19 when I moved there. Many of the struggles I went through were because of my age and I was "growing up", I would have had the same struggles anywhere else. I was lucky that I had many Roman friends because I was there to race my bike. I did feel welcome but without the cycling I would not have had the same experience.
Some of the things I turned to was journaling, reading and photography. Is there a local activity that you could get involved in? Volunteer with animals or the elderly? I had to turn off some of my American memories. Holidays were tough when I didn't have an invite to spend them with friends. Felt very "on my own" then!! I know it also helped when I dressed more like a Roman. Not looking like a tourist helped with the level of acceptance in general public.
Hopefully some of my words have helped. Rome can be absolutely incredible at times and then a punch in the gut at other times but so can life in general. What you are doing is wonderful and to be applauded. You are doing something that many people are too afraid to do. Don't let the people who roll their eyes at "stranieri" win the day, sometimes you have to roll your eyes and say" stupidi"????
Hi Brian,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. That's wild, what happened to you at immigration! And very good suggestions- I have looked in to volunteering, that's such a great idea, thank you. You made me laugh at the end hehe you do have to have a sense of humor and try to not take things personally! Thanks for the encouragement 😄💛
I’m Italian 🇮🇹 and I think you got it right to the extent that it is a big city but i would say that it happens to me as well to be treated the same way whether i’m in Rome or somewhere else with just few exceptions so I suggest you to get used to it
Thanks for the suggestion 👍🏻
@@AlyssaMaeFriend se sei interessata a praticare con Skype or whatever (solo audio) fammi sapere.
Io sto praticando inglese da molti anni con consistenza e sono sempre alla ricerca di chi è veramente intenzionato a praticare. Ovviamente we gotta be pretty flexible so not that strict with the schedule.
Fammi sapere. Btw uso solo audio perché posso praticare ovunque con il telefono.
Ohh grazie mille, che bella idea. Magari tra qualche mese!
@@AlyssaMaeFriend great! Fammi sapere anche dove eventualmente possiamo scambiarci il contatto Skype.
Let’s practice 🙂
Dear Alyssa, it was really interesting to hear the negative side as well. I heard that Italians don't like foreigners, but then again maybe it's because you come from a completely different world. Let's say I'm from Croatia and we're very similar to Italians. But that story when you go to a store 😕and also when you said hello to that woman and she replied to you stranieri😒The thing that surprised me the most is that Italians don't like new friendships.🙄Life can be challenging wherever you go. There is good and bad in everyone. Be happy that you visited such a magical city, but I believe that it can be like that in many places. Here is a person who told me about New York that it is wonderful, but she didn't felt comfortable with the people there. Warm hugs to you and your soooooo sweet dog.❤️ p.s. I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love, based on a true story, and a woman from America was also in Italy and was so well received there. That movie with Julia Roberts is wonderful.❤️Alenka😘
Hello sweet Alenka 💛 thank you for writing. I always look forward to hearing from you. Maybe you're right, that I'm very different, compared to a fellow European, or even someone from the Mediterranean area. hehe at the end of the video when I said "like a movie" I was thinking about Eat Pray Love, I just didn't say it 😊 It's one of my all time favorite movies ✨ you read my mind!
Awww Alyssa 😫😭 you’ve been here longer than I have but I can definitely relate to a lot of the things you said. While I have made great friends at school, no one stays as long as I am staying so I keep making friends just to watch them leave after a month or two, so I understand that “alone” feeling 😢. I’m also at the point where I miss some of the familiar things and I’m feeling the homesickness way more than usual. I remember all those things you mentioned about living in Rome, which is why I prefer living in Bologna. I absolutely loved living in Rome, it’s beautiful and so iconic, but I definitely don’t miss the people touching/grabbing me on public transport 🤮 the catcalling, the rudeness when I tried to speak Italian and the other stuff you mentioned. Like you said, it’s a big capital city so obviously other cities in Italy will be different, but racism and other ugly things are unfortunately apparent in every city 😢. But you’re doing a great job and I appreciate you sharing this honesty!! ❤
Hi Shea 💛💛 I thought about you while I was talking about making friends. You seem to always be talking about your Italian friends or people you've met in Bologna, and I think that's great!! But yes, people do seem to come and go a lot here. I'm happy you could relate to a lot of what I was saying. It's always nice to know you're not alone. And the more I think about it, the more I want to give other cities a try. Who knows.. maybe Bologna will be on the list!
@@AlyssaMaeFriend Well if you did decide to come to Bologna, you'd already have a friend here :)
Enlightening and candid. Thank you for sharing. To your point, it is easy to share all of the positive things but you have to be willing to show vulnerability to share the things that make you uncomfortable. I wish you all the best. Your videos and commentary are great.
Thank you so much, Matt!!
Hi Where Are you From? I'm From rome
USA (:
I'm sure it is a big challenge living in Rome. No matter how many times I visit, I can NEVER get them to speak to me in Italian. Rome is my favorite city in the world, but I have reservations about choosing it as my home. I think living in a decent-sized city that is well connected allows one to go to Rome as often as desired, but maybe enjoy living in a more welcoming place.
I think of some of the more progressive cities, like Bologna, for example, which, as I'm sure you are aware, is a university town and a center of language learning. It is also an italy that is less xenophobic than Rome can tend to be. They call it "Bologna il rosso" for more than just the roof tiles. The politics are more progressive and less reactionary.
I do think the smaller and medium sized cities that have access to trains and airports present an even more affordable and immersive experience. Perugia comes to mind too. Lecce down in Puglia is a gem.
I'm glad you raised this topic, as it is vital for people to understand a broader picture of italian life before making the move. I worry that my husband may not be as enamored with it as I am.
I'm sure you have some requirement to stay put while your visa process completes, but I would encourage you to look at other parts of Italy that are well connected without the need for an automobile or the need to hitch a ride.
I always love seeing a new video from you, because every one of them is from the heart. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!
It's my favorite city in the world, too ❤️ I agree though, I think a smaller and well connected place might be better to actually LIVE in and call home. Thank you for those ideas - Bologna, Perugia, & Lecce. Maybe I'll spend a couple months in all of them and see how I feel there. I really do need to see more of Italy outside Rome. I haven't seen much.
When you and your husband come and maybe buy a house, would you be staying for large portions of the year? Or maybe just a holiday home?
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment. I always love hearing from you, Michael!!
I agree. Bologna is the sweet spot and certainly on the more progressive side for Italy (as opposed to the general Italian vibe to cling onto the past) hence why many expats love it.
Just a minor connection, it’s ‘la rossa’ Bologna and all cities are female in Italian 👍🏻
It is a sensitive topic, and you're right. Go figure that my Mother is Italian, I grew up there, have a home there, and I still get called a straniero. Keep your chin up, kiddo.
Thank you!! ❤️
I’ve just come across your channel and I’m binge watching your videos 😂 Please don’t be put off by the rudeness and narrow-mindedness of some Italians. We’re not all like that! 😂You do come off as a very sweet and likeable person. I love people from other countries who decide to put down roots here… You bring different colours! Italy is just too Italian! You’re a great asset to the country. Keep it up 💪🏻
Thank you so much!! That was very kind of you to take the time to write that 💛💛
I live in a smaller city in Romagna and I get some of that rudeness, but I think not as much. People here are mostly fairly kind to me, and my Italian language skills are sub-par, so I’m lucky to be where I am. I relate very much with that lack of independence feeling. But ultimately, it is a beautiful life here. Be proud of yourself for what you have achieved, it’s hard but you are doing it:)
Hi there😊 It makes me happy to hear that you experience kindness where you are, especially as you're trying to learn a new language. It IS a beautiful life here! Thank you for your kind words 💛✨
@@AlyssaMaeFriendbe more respectful of Italians nd Italy!! Most Italians are friendly!!! I m glad to block you nd to follow other more kind clever channels
I’m in Rome now. Here for two months and am deciding whether or not to move here and finish my studies (and just live here for good). I just experienced something of the sort (being “hated on”) in a Conad store. I didn’t realize I had to weight and label my produce and she got maaaaaad. She threw my receipt at me afterwards. I stayed in my airbnb for like 3 days after that. Its nice to know that I should toughen up and realize this may be something I have to deal with. It is a very VERY lonely feeling. I wish I could find even a small community here. Regardless of this, I do live this country. I have met nice people. Thanks so much for this!!
Yeah it can be tough.. I encounter someone rude every time I leave my house lol you have to just decide to let it go and not let it get to you. I'm literally still learning this and trying to navigate it. It's hard. ❤️❤️ Even just this morning I dealt with someone extremely rude and entitled. And yesterday I was taking a photo of pizza at a supermarket and the employee freaked out and yelled at me (why??? who knows!) and everyone just stared at me lol You gotta let that go. It's a part of living in Rome. PS maybe you could become more Italian and start yelling back hahaha
I hope things go well for you❤ I experienced some similar problems in Rome and Naples as well so I understand where you’re coming from and I was only visiting😮
Hi Alyssa
I arrived in Italy from France two months ago and moved to Rome a month ago.
I can relate to some of the points you raised but not all. Two months on, my Italian language skills are almost inexistant, yet, thanks to Google Translate, and the little English or French people speak back, I can get by without too much trouble. So far, no one has ever been abrupt or impolite with me. Perhaps, as you said, you are too sensitive, or your approach is a little off. Difficult to tell. Could it be because you are overconfident when you speak Italian? As I am so bad with the language, the person in front of me has no other choice but make an effort. And I keep smiling all through the encounter. Well, I do my best not to look frustrated.
One thing I agree with, is how dirty Rome is. Rubbish is almost everywhere. I come from France, and I know Paris fairly well. I thought that it was a dirty place compared to my provincial town, however, Rome and its suburbs are on another level. I don’t know why the inhabitants don’t complain to the mayor... Ok, they might be partly responsible for the dirtiness themselves, but it’s not just them. Some areas look like no City employee has ever swept the pavement…
I take the bus often, as I live near Tivoli and the buses to Rome’s Métro are numerous and frequent. So much so that I haven’t needed my car the whole month. However, it’s about one hour commute to Colosseo. There is one thing that drives me crazy on the public transport, and it’s the people talking loudly on their phone, or playing games or listening to videos without headphones.
Last thing I find striking, is the high number of tourists there is, not just in Rome, but pretty much anywhere in Italy, yet, at the time of writing this comment, we are in the middle of the low season, and I didn’t expect so many people.
I have no plans to go back to France for the time being, however, it’s obvious to me, now I know Spain, the UK and Italy better, that we, French people, are bloody lucky to have what we have in our country. Yet, we keep complaining. That’s probably one of the reasons I left.
Going to spend next month in Naples, but will definitely comme back to spend a month or even longer in Rome. It’s a fabulous city indeed. And I must add that I like the Italian people and I just adore listening to them talking
Hope you have a good time
@@AlyssaMaeFriend thanks Alyssa. I hope you have a great time too
Hi, u said u are grateful for France and what it has, but u still don’t want to go back? Also if u could move/live somewhere where would it be? What about Montreal vs Paris/France? Sorry to ask this but is it possible to find a well paid job in France and live comfortably or is it too difficult? Is there demand for English teachers?
I traveled by myself to Italy in April. I love talking to people, but I never felt welcomed by locals. I had fun with German tourists and other Americans. I can't wait to come back but I am alot like you, sensitive, or as my mom always said, too sensitive. Not sure if my soft heart could live there. But it is so beautiful and the food is delicious, I will be back. I hope you find some equally sensitive friends. Also locals that admire your tenacity to learn the language. I think you are amazing.
Jill, thank you so much for commenting this. That was so kind of you. This video has been getting some more views lately and I get comments sometimes that make me feel completely misunderstood lol Anyway, thanks💛 you're lovely 🥰 ps some of my family members always said I was "too sensitive" but I think it can actually be a superpower 😘💪🏻
Thanks for sharing Alyssa.
Thanks for watching!
I love your channel! 😍
Thank you for your opinion. I love your channel! I hope to book a session when I come back to Rome with you!
Please do! That would be so amazing to meet you 😍
I feel you. I’m a very sensitive empath as well but I’ve been working on it for quite a while and I taught myself that it’s just me most of the time, when you stop caring, like really, it starts working. I stopped taking random people’s actions personally. Yeah it’s annoying right at that moment but now I can get my self out of that feeling quite easier than before. I’m Turkish and the heaviest feeling of not belonging and being exposed to rudeness was in Israel. My first time was horrible. Then I went there again. I figured israelis were not specifically rude towards me. It’s just their social texture. They are direct. Too direct for me but on the other hand, I was just being less direct for them. So nmy second visit was waaaay better than the first one.
I’m about to move to Rome from Istanbul in a couple of months so I’m here to know what people experience. Most videos I’ve been watching happened do be made by Americans. I understand their frustrations about some “issues”. But luckily for me, my country is quite similar to Italy in terms of behavior, burocracy, public codes etc. Even while I’m living here in Istanbul, I made so many great great great Italian friends and they actually helped me so much about my moving and paperwork that I doubt if any of my Turkish friends would bother that much.
This one if not particularly for you but more general; people usually expect to have a wonderful life where they want to live and ignore the fact that life happens everywhere, in different forms. We all have a hard time managing our expectations.
In my case, I only want to be in Rome for a while because I’m simply in love but I accept all probable and unexpected problems life will offer me there. I will have problems anywhere on this planet and I do have problems in my own country as well.
Hope we get the chance to meet and talk over a slice of pizza at the piazza madonna dei monti :)
Thanks for this great video and be well.
That was very insightful & well put, thank you 💛
I am thinking about Anita Ekberg and Ingrid Thulin, as I am Swedish and fan of Italian cinema. 😊
Both were great moviestars, but Ekberg did'nt have it easy in her later years, living mostly alone in Rome, despite her past stardom. Perhaps it was a bit easier to live as a Foreigner in Italy back in the 60's,70's and 80's. 🤔 Europe as a whole has become more globalized in the last ten years, and some countries have received waves of migration, with it comes unease, and sometimes fear of loss of cultural identity.
Italy is also a rather young democracy and there is often a widespread mistrust against political authority. State bureucracy can be a bit of hazzle.
A friend of mine lived in France for eight years in the 80's and there were chauvinsm and many mishaps among all the great things as well. France and Italy have many similarities, as well as great culture and that very special charm.
But you probably have to have grow a "thick skin" living in both these countries.
That's very insightful, thank you. I think you do have to have a thick skin in these countries, otherwise, you might get squashed. I'm learning this 😉 I was just speaking with my boyfriend's mother, and she was saying how Rome in the 60's was so amazing. And I've always wished I could time travel to Rome in the 60's, so you're probably right!
Italy is a dead nation. We are dying as an ethnicity, since no one makes children anymore, and economically, due to our ignorance and third world mentality. The process is now irreversible and all intelligent Italians are leaving. We will become like Algeria.
Marselo come here...
You made a very good point, Mrs Ekberg despite being a big movie star in her youth, died alone and nearly forgotten near Rome, I wonder why She didnt move back to Sweden or USA
bella come il 🌞, servono gli 😎
concordo su tutto...
sai per la rudezza, credo molto dipenda dalla devastante crisi economica, che l'Italia attraversa da 18 anni...you know 18 years is a long time, it gets worse year after year, and it's nerve wracking
That's true, and good to keep in mind ❤️ grazie
one more thing: I'm a local and I've to deal with rude/frustrated ppl on a daily basis, it's not due to you being a foreigner, trust me...
Hi Alyssa, you are very young and sweet and easily hurt by rudeness….. I understand that…. But I just came back from my first visit to Rome, 5 days by myself. I am 74 and have a thicker skin……I stayed in Monti…. Here would be my advice: live in a neighborhood where things are more accessible. Make friends with other non Italians so you won’t feel so alone. I met a random woman on a tour who turned out to live 15 min from me in CA and walks her dog in the same park I do! Trouble finding a job, you may not realize there is a high level of corruption in Italy and you have to pay $ under the table to get a job….so don’t give up, it’s a very brave thing you are accomplishing…. and I don’t blame Rome people for being tired of foreigners…… I don’t think I’d enjoy being a local in a place which has become millions of people’s Disneyland!💜💜💜😎💜💜
Hi Jeanne, thanks for taking the time to comment. I know you mean well by sharing this advice. I just wanted to point out that I have lived in Rome since 2015, so I’ve been here a lot longer than a quick vacation. Living somewhere is very different than just visiting for a few days, so the things I was talking about in this video really wear you down after years of dealing with it. Also, I’m not that young, approaching 33! I recognize I’m a very sensitive person, and I don’t think age has much to do with that... Anyway thanks again- glad you enjoyed your time in Rome!
I understand…. 9 years is a lot longer than 5 days!wow, I don’t think I could live by myself in Italy that long……you don’t look 33 you look much younger…. My neighbor grew up in Rome, and he told me, “yah, it’s fine for tourists in the city center but for residents in regular ‘hoods the garbage piled up etc etc really wears us down….” I just offered my 2 cents worth from what I experienced…. anyway I do honor and respect your bravery living somewhere not USA. 💜it does take a certain kind of strength. Real life is not a curated Instagram feed of only the pluses!💜
That's very validating, thanks for writing this! I've been struggling lately haha 😅
you forgot to mention about the garbage you find everywhere in Rome😂
yeah it's pretty dirty haha
@@AlyssaMaeFriend I have a job offer as a design engineer in Rome and I stayed and documented myself to learn about Rome and I don't know whether to accept or not
@@Mychelo go for it!
Thanks for sharing this. I am experiencing the same living in Spain (I'm British), including rudeness, mistreatment. I am trying to process all of this now and decide whether living in Spain is even worth it
I'm sorry to hear that ❤️ maybe it's just about the city you're in.. ROME is chaotic and filled with rude people lol but other small towns have lovely happy people... maybe try to explore a different area before giving up completely. It can be really hard to move to a new country, so good for you and be proud of yourself for trying💛💛
Hey Alyssa, I only watched your video today, and I've been living in Italy for two years. I have to say it's a really hard country to love. I moved here because my husband works here. It took me over 8 months to get my family reunion visa and 6 months to get my Permesso. My experience with my husband's colleagues has been fantastic- they are all kind and speak with me in English if they need to. But 90% of the rudeness I've experienced has been from people at a 'counter', in hospitals, train stations, supermarkets, etc. There is a good amount of racism (we are Indian) and a whole lot of patriarchy. The restaurant staff never bring me the bill, even though I'm always the one to ask, and I'm the one who's paying for my party. We're going through fertility treatments, and each appointment takes months! Convoluted healthcare system, expensive tests, and tonnes of paperwork. Italy also refused my parents' visa to visit me on flimsy reasons: hundreds of Euros, lots of running from pillar to post, lots of 14-hour journey days and stress for my aged parents, lots of shattered dreams. I do miss my parents and I want to show them the world. Italy just makes it impossible. I hope you're coping well with it, hang in there! Hugs XX
I'm so sorry to hear about your negative experiences 💔 thank you for sharing. Everyone's experiences in Italy are completely different, and I like being able to talk freely about the more negative sides. Most people on social media make it sound like a perfect life, dream destination, but they don't actually talk about what real life is like. I wish they did. So, thanks for sharing. I hope things start to get better for you 💛
Roman here, sorry but Rome has never been managed so badly in all her history as during these days. I apologies for the dirtiness, piles of garbage and unreliable public transportation.
No place is perfect (USA has plenty of issues too!)
lasciare casa a 20 anni, trovare un lavoro per mantenersi, essere incoraggiati...negli USA e' facilissimo, qui il contrario....
6:00 per andare avanti a RM, devi avere una pelle d'elefante! Credimi!
Ciao Alyssa! I hope you are having a good evening? As a Brit living in Rome, I am super excited to be part of your RUclips community (I have Subscribed, and Hit the notification bell)!. I agree with most of your stuff, but I only disagree with the part about not feeling welcomed in Rome. I moved to Rome in July 2020 (After the covid lockdowns in Italy and the UK. I was originally meant to move in March 2020 (4 days after the UK Lockdown started), and I had no choice but to cancel my move, but I still went with it anyway)! I'd like to connect with you. Please message me on RUclips! I need more friends!
Ciao John! Glad to have you here, thanks for sharing!
@@AlyssaMaeFriend Grazie Mille. How was your trip?
Hi Alyssa :) I just discovered your channel. I'm glad you shared your negative and not-so-good experiences because they need to be heard. I'm currently living in Rome too for the whole year, doing my Erasmus, which is also an experience barely no one talks about with honesty. It is exciting, you learn a lot and visit beautiful things, but you feel lonely too, because as you said, there are language barriers and sometimes people don't want to make the effort of talking another language. I will be around for a long time, so if it doesn't sound weird to you, we could do something together :) I'll write to you a DM on Instagram. Of course if you don't feel like it, there's no problem. I send you a big hug and my best wishes ❤️
Ciao Maria, thank you for this thoughtful comment💛 I'm glad we could share some of these feelings and know that we can understand each other a little bit. Yes, write me!! That sounds fun 😊