The Sound Of Science: A Dog's Real Age | Your Couch Might Kill You | Perfecting Plant-Based Eggs
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
- Stephen Colbert examines all the latest updates from the world of science in everyone's favorite science-focused segment.
#Colbert #Comedy #Science #TheSoundofScience #Eggs #PlantBasedEggs #Dogs #DogYears #Couches #StephenColbert #TheLateShow
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
Sofa my couch hasn't killed me yet, but it may lounge at me any minute.
Wins the internet for the day! ROFLOL!
Davenport!
I love seat what you did there.
ow ow ow
Be chairful it doesn't hit your LoveSac
As you introduced tonight‘s guests, I am clapping in my kitchen in Kyoto!
Assuming you mean with your hands...
Don't listen, Benny. The housing market isn't your fault. Who's a good dog
The part about the Coke freaked me out. I used to drink that stuff by the case!
Benny is! Yes is, yes, he is! Aren't you Benny? Yes you are!
@@c.h.5389 Spoiler Alert: Being alive has a 100% mortality rate.
@@c.h.5389If drinking a soda takes 12 minutes off your life, I should be dead by now.
@@freya8133 You'd have to drink 43800 cans to take 1 year off. That's a lot of Soda. 😯
Ha! I’ve been emitting toxic vapors into my couch for years! 🤪
Under- liked comment. Also 100% accurate.
You've exposed the villain's origin story.
@@ThatOpalGuy Off-topic: Hey fellow condiment person. Make sure the room stays ventilated when producing hot rocks.
You should have gone for a walk instead?
How did the writer's not get the obvious connection between those jokes - of course the couch is emitting volatile organic compounds, because you didn't go on your fart walk
Love your show, especially the monologue and segments like this! Surprised you didn't link the lethality of couches to not taking enough "fart walks"!
That couch explains JD Vance 😁🥂
Where the heck is JD vance? He's been in an undisclosed location since the election. Good.
Thank you for returning on half staff jan 6 day, a strange and mournful day. You help us laugh in the face of the astonishing fiasco unfolding before our very eyes in the absence of one remaining guardrail or lick of sense as gavels and certifications were handed over to the occupants of the clown car today.
Was that a Simon and Garfunkel reference? Or am I just showing my age? : )
I object, clown car occupants are at least good at one thing, those goobers could get lost in a closet.
2017 was a clown car: 2025 is a clown cybertruck.
@@Lucius1958With real flames on the doors apparantly...I wouldnt sit in one if paid or Tesla for that matter 😂
@@bluegreenglue6565It is...And nope,not old ,just vintage 😂
HOAs everywhere need to know the health benefits of couches on the front lawn.
😂😂😂😂
Absolutely ❤❤Stephen Colbert ❤️❤️
Now I understand why my mother wouldn't allow me to eat a hotdog with a nice cold coke on the couch! She did love me!
Thank you for the show 😂, and good night to you, Stephen Colbert😃
😂take care
"Sorry Science, thats math" ❤❤❤❤😊😊😂
they are interwoven
All these studies about how X takes away Y time of your life neglect to say that the time you lose is at the end where you are in constant pain, have no cartilage left in your knees, and you need a device to help you get around even in your own assisted living cell. Sorry... FACILITY.
@@MonkeyJedi99 nah; you can get to that phase MUCH faster, a friend of mine managed to die with the organs of a ~70 y-o at 22... think of 'em like speedrunning tech perhaps? this one trick cuts 10s off your run! downside- you still have to 100% the run, so that grindy end-sequence might be quicker (depending on the 'tech' used), but it'll def arrive sooner.
Jimmy k. And Stephen help me survive the craziest!
Seth Meyers too!
Thank goodness you are back!! Life is no fun without your monolog to lift my spirits and know that I can Carpe Diem!!
I love him!
Me too
LOVE YOUR DOG!
He's still living at home.
After meals my grandmother always took a “walk” and as she put it an “airing out” 😎
Crop dusting.
@@WilliamPappas-b6o😂😂😂😂
Cigarette break.
So....that couch under the freeway is healthy?
😂
That tracks
Definitely won't get Tetanus from the rusty spring in the 3rd cushion...... that rust color is natural
Good one 🤓
My dog's living in a van down by the river.
is there room for two? my dog is still mooching off me.
What's the rent on one of those? I'm thinking about moving up from my "luxury apartment"
Cause he smoked too many doobies!
@@calmyourmind5665 That's impossible. I've tried.
Who needs impossible meat, when we could have perhaps eggs?
That dog joke had me 💀🤣
Cummingtonite is actually named after the town it was found near. Cummington.
This is completely true.
Seems like that word could also be used for the residents of that town.
They named it that because they were watching adult movies when it was discovered.
which Cummington? we have one in my State (MA) nice quiet New England kind of place, i could see a "new" rock coming from there
I bet they were really waiting for an opportunity to use that word.
If I remember correctly, Cummington is right near Edgington.
You're incredible boss
What no jd reference during the couch joke?! You are slacking, good sir.
Good one, good sir!😆
😅
My ottoman will kill me long before the couch does... it's closer to the stairs.
I don't think the loveseat likes me much, either.
Ottoman. Like the empire.
@@benn454 oops...
Should've said 'closer to the steppes' 🤓
@@NoixNoir-gu4fd 😝
We’ve known about toxic furniture vapors for around 40-some years.
And we keep making furniture out of the same toxic materials.
We're not going to make it, are we? People, I mean.
Ok, now I'm confused.
Why does my couch always leave the house on Taco Tuesdays 🤔
That's probably where the VOCs come from lol. It's trying to save you
It'd stop doing it if you went on fart walks after dinner.
Thank you for making me laugh. I've been ready to cry any minute, but now I can pretend it's part of laughing.
P.S. Stephen: When does Benny get a guest spot, or at least a guest walk-through?
If you treat your furniture like JD Vance, don't be surprised when it fights back.
"I told myself I wouldn't let this happen again".
Happy new year/month to you Steve. Good to see you return after the long Christmas holidays. Wishing you a blessed New Year filled with Divine visitation, joy and peace Amen ❤
Let’s hope this new year is good for people
She blinded me with science.
Sooooooo early. Welcome back! And happy new year!
Happy New Year laughing is the best medicine for the soul
It's balls to the wall for the next FOUR years.
A fart walk could also save your marriage. 🤣🤣🤣
Or ruin it as you repeatedly come across someone irresistible who is impressed by your active lifestyle 🤷
@ lol
You’re picking on poor Arby’s again.😂
I love him and Jimmy Kimmel it’s great to laugh
Fallon >> Kimmel
For more about the bone floor, copy and paste this description for the video;
Archaeologists Find Mysterious Bone Floor in Alkmaar
Appreciated!
There are many baking applications where eggs play a crucial structural part and where the flavour of real egg is not required. A plant-based egg substitute (whole and separated) would be a game-changer. (I like the texture of sponge cakes, but hate how eggy they taste, so being able to make not-eggy sponge cakes would be fantastic.)
There are already fantastic egg substitutes for baking. I’ve been using them for almost 20 years because my kids both have anaphylactic egg allergies. The only complication is that you need a different one for cakes and cookies, etc, and for things like frittata and custards. There’s no one product that does everything, but there are great products that do big categories of things- check out Panacegg, Gerbet, and JustEgg, for instance. If you just want to bake cakes, though, Bob’s Red Mill egg replacer will do just fine.
Came here for this. My gf bakes a lot and eats the results with me but would never eat anything with the taste or texture of egg itself. This would be WILDLY more than just a good joke setup 😊
Max Miller, he of Tasting History, is allergic to raw eggs, I seem to recall. He comments on recipes. You can contact him with questions.
I use bob's red mill egg substitute. it's cheaper than real eggs.
@@kenbrown2808 Okay. Do you find this effective at creating stable meringues? (Yeah, that's a rhetorical, facetious question.)
Ah, so the fact that we southern states often have our couches on the front porch is why we live so long.
49 is not a long life.
@@WilliamPappas-b6o You can pack a lot of livin' is 49 years!
When you say "gone on ta glorah" make sure to take off your hat at the right moment
How is it that I have to learn about local news (living in Alkmaar, The Netherlands) on American late night television... 🤔
Damn! Wish I had watched this before lunch. I just took 72 minutes off my life. Guess I'll probably die at 80 something years old instead of 80 something years old.
I actually have more than a little trepidation of this year as a senior of modest means and quite dependent on my SocSec benefits.
Yes, I wonder.
One of the first snarky geo-jokes geology students learn in Mineralogy 201
Where did those organic compounds on the couch come from? Looking at you, JD Vance.
Benny is adorable 🎉
missed opportunity to tie in the couch story with the importance of taking fart walks
There should be an expression 'walking a brown mile'
If you have perhaps flavors, you should put some seemingly ranch on it
I hope trump will reinstall his Coke button.
Me,too
Reports suggest it was a different kind of coke button...
My first thought! 😁
Benny ❤❤❤❤❤
If the Coke report is accurate: I should be dead by now!!
If it's accurate.
I've never heard of any competent medical studies that talk about the specific length of time something takes off your life. Biology is too variable for that kind of precision, especially when we are talking about something like minutes over a human lifetime.
So that study was either done badly or got garbled by reporters.
As for "ultra processed food", that's a vague category that includes a lot of things. Instead of looking at the effects of specific ingredients or processing methods. So that's also a sign of reporters garbling what the science says.
Apparently I've been dead for 34 years
Or: if you did not have had all these beverages you would have died at the age of 800? ;)
By the math of having given up soda years ago I've gained 227 days on the soda alone. I haven't calculate the hot dog one yet. Now what if.... the hot dog eater was starved to the end of his life when he began to eat each hot dog.. is it extending his life, or shortening it? haha.
Right, me too!
I had to google durian because I'd never heard of it before. Sounds interesting, but I don't know if my local Safeway carries it. 🤔
Go to an Asian market.
Don't let the smell put you off. Just eat it!
You can’t take them on planes due to the smell, but they taste creamy and sweet….
I bought a new toaster oven with three recipes in the owner's manual. One was for hair tails. Google says it's a hideous looking fish
Hi, Benny.
A ceiling made entirely of... Popcorn?
So, regarding the toxic vouches, Jeff Foxworthy was on to something. "If your patio furniture used to be your living room furniture...." 😂😂😂
... couches ... (Damn you Thumbs !!! "
I was scrolling fast down the many channels and mistakenly read this as THE SOUND OF STUPID 🤣 I promise I love the late show and I apologize my mistake offends anyone, but I thought it was funny and had to share 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It is Jan 6th. Historically a day of the Sound of Stupid.
@@lisab9541😂
Way to go, Stephen!
Y'all are on fire 🔥
Yeah, your math works 😂😂😂
in all fairness, any home renovation product is likely to demand blood at one point or another. that's why safety glasses are important.
a daily constitutional means fartwalk
Could the volatile organic couch compounds be caused by not taking the recommended fartwalk?
According to the Coke/hotdog math I should have died years ago. 😂
HANK GREEN SHOULD BE INVITED FOR THIS
now that's a fantastic sounds of science
How many fart jokes in one episode before they take away the Peabody? And by the way I got my mouth washed out with soap for that word in 1966! ;-)
Stop lying they didn't have soap in 1966 that's why they bathed in mud in 1969
@@NoixNoir-gu4fd 🤣
I thought when he brought up couches emitting toxic volatile organic compounds he was going to follow with "Scientists believe the solution to be: more fart-walks"
Wouldn't it be awesome if Stephen could get Paul and Art to come on the show and all three sing this song together? Come on guys, it's about time!
Art Garfunkel is dead. 😢
@@williamduffy1227 No he's not.
My 81 y.o. uncle has consumed 2 liters of coke daily since his teens :I just love the flavor" he has told me... and it has to be Coka-Cola!
If the Coca Cola thing was true, some of us would already be gone.
@@TiffanyAllen1784 Ditto for hot dogs.
"Perhaps it's not Butter!"
So my 7yr old dog isn’t really 49 anymore; with the new math he’s actually 15+9+5+5+5+5+5=49 instead. 🤯
Triple caster. Great choice
4:35 don't tell JD Vance about the couches. You know how much of a Sectional Lover he is.
Oh gods, durian fruit in VR? Just dont let them invent a smell option
Does it depend on what kind of hot dog it is? I only eat Hebrew Nationals, so.... I'm gaining time, right? Right?!
Best thing is to make your own homemade hot dog, with sausage and buns made at home, but then you lose time making them 😂.
Me, too! But they come from "a higher authority."
Not me actually eating a hot dog & drinking a coke right now 😂🤦🏻♀️
Benny Colbert's age: 39. Jack Benny's perennial age: 39. Love it!
We found bones under our couch. Turns out they were JD Vance's bones. When I asked the couch what happened, it said "I'm vengeance."
I thought for sure the killer couch bit was leading to a fart walk joke!
My dog is not 74!😢
Still young enough to serve both presidential terms 🤷
Volatile Organic Compounds are also in paint, air fresheners...and the bacon in your frying pan.
Love Jon ❤️ ... I suck at math.
🤧
I've eaten that many Hot Dogs I shouldn't be born
Im a big fan of your show
5:34 "It's fucked" lmao
Colbert: Your couch might kill you.
Vance: Worth the risk.
We're going to need a lot of The Sound of Science these next four years cause god knows the people in charge won't be caring about science these next four years.
Good news for frat houses: Having your 🛋 outside on your front porch is no longer an eyesore but a symbol of your commitment to a healthier lifestyle! Party on dudes!🍻😁👍
That building on 71st Street ain't no frat house homy
@NoixNoir-gu4fd Huh?
Can’t wait to taste Durian while playing Beat Saber in VR. It’s all that’s been missing from the experience.
Adam Kinzinger for President
Science is not counting the life giving effect of the immense satisfaction a polish hotdog piled high with mustard, sauerkraut, and both sweet and dill pickles gives me.
So the orange couch from the Wire would be fine! Yes!
That means my 14 year old dog was only 84 when she died of throat cancer, not 98. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but thanks science, I guess?🤔😑
Starts at 1:45
No it doesn’t
It starts @1:00 or @1:32
Real fans don’t skip through Stephen’s jokes or segment intros
4:29 approximately 25 years to late to improve my childhood, thanks, I'll tell me ma!
5:00 I was waiting for a JD Vance joke…
Cummingtonite was very much the trending joke on twitter... about a decade ago. Great to see the writers on this show are really on the cutting edge
Love you Stephen Colbert soooooo funny.
I feel like whoever put together the segment on dog years could've done the math in their head and saved us all some time. Lmao.
😂😂😂😂😂 I'm so ☠️☠️☠️☠️
Sounds like Joey Chestnut should drop any day now