Yes I'm very neurotic.. I've been like this since I was younger. I'm 26.. everyone seems emotionless, and I feel like the only one with high emotional sensitivity .. it feels horrible.
Man when I was young on the old RUclips I remember a very funny song....funny at first. After I listened a couple of times, I realize it was a very deep song. Good times back in the day.
@@milkandspice1074 i'm not surprised. All intelligent people should eventually find themselves here or in a similar space. We either know someone with mental health issues, have mental health issues or seeking to shore up our good mental health practices, and Dr Marks has to be one of the best teachers on the planet. Well, that's how i think anyway.
I have two good friends, one is highly neurotic, kind and empathetic and has a great sense of humour, the other is at the low end of the neurotic scale and carefree but she can be harsh and judgemental, and often criticises her friends and family. Of the two I prefer the company of the neurotic!
I truly appreciate your comment....this has helped me feel better, about being so alone in this world of people who couldnt care less.. i wish i actually knew you.
Unfortunately I think the term neurotic has taken on a very negative connotation. But it really means vulnerable. I’m not surprised your vulnerable friend is very empathic
@@DrTraceyMarks I got a question 🙋♀️ I took the ocean test. Would my test answer make it more like the infj or the infp personality type? I got O=94% C=35% E=42% A=46% N=90%
I’m pretty sure I’m neurotic and I’m just now accepting that about myself after 36 years 🙄 I didn’t know there was a term for it, I just knew I was driving myself crazy with how easily I get upset, stressed, & can barely tolerate change. Working to survive in this world of constant change & uncertainty is a task indeed.
i feel i get neurotic everytime im in a partner relationship. When im single, i feel my life runs smoothly and normal. With a partner my life always gets hard, i get neurotic, afraid, too vulnerable, i cant handle my emotions, i explode. Its horrible. How can it be that i suffer so much, everytime, with romantic partners?
I’m right there with you ❤️. Stay with the feelings and work through them. Change doesn’t happen when being single and having life run smoothly. I would find a good therapist if possible.
I used to score high on neuroticism years ago when I took the Big 5 in my psych class... after watching this video, I've realized I now score low and how much inner-work I have done on myself over the years. Feels good.
@@mimilacocci6573 oh man that answer has no end. Really any kind of self-reflective work you can do is great. Life is about constantly learning and growing and adapting. But I guess specifically: I started by breaking down the key issues I struggled with from a diagnostic standpoint. Everything is self-diagnosed but specifically I struggle/struggled with ADHD, low-severity OCD, and at times general anxiety, with an additional context for an early onset PDD in full remission (as I am prone to have flare ups as a result). And while I never had it, I also had some tendencies for borderline due to prosocial modelingfrom childhood. Understanding this can help you understand what is being neglected in my life- for me I was so focused on other people that I would neglect my own basic needs (sleeping, eating, showering, shitting, etc.) because I was so desperate for their validation. (Side note: not gunna argue with anyone about commorbidity or diagnoses in general, I know what I have. Plus a degree in Psychology on top of a religious studying of the DSM and heavy infatuation for research into the field of Psychology/self-improvement/ and health and wellness as a whole). As I began working on all of that, I began to realize that part of what would trigger me had to do with the caliber of people in my life. I was incredibly prone to over-sympathizing initially with NPDs (particularly coverts), borderline individuals, and those who struggled with social anxiety. And notnjust prone to them, but codependent. As I began to weed the incredibly stubborn, toxic people and environments out of my life- I set healthy boundaries and began taking accountability with the others. Note: accountability is just as important as setting boundaries. Many people fall into the trap of self-victimization. I think to some degree it is unavoidable when you first start learning about this stuff and with the way social media and media as a whole is oriented. But it is incredibly important. We need to learn and understand what it is we specifically are doing to create and continue to fall into the same patterns and circumstances- and then actively set goals and make steps to change that behavior. After working on my relationships/codependency for a while, I started focusing more specifically on attachment styles and building my sense of self-identity by developing hobbies and interests. Essentially if you haven't caught on, you move up Maslow's pyramid. It's a fundamental principle, so it's often overlooked, but eventually you begin to realize just how crucial it is. You gotta consistently take care of your physical needs and feel safe before you can move to your emotional needs. From there it's your identity, status, and aspirations. And from there, you self-actualize. I'm oversimplifying clearly, but this is the overarching structure. Just remember it's a process. Also I highly recommend keeping some kind of journal when you have moments of self-realization and take time to be present and explore them as deep as you can. And also installing a goal tracking app to help you focus on what is important. That helps you stay on track and not get sucked into the stronger, more caustic habits again. Healthy habits are the best groundwork for success in any capacity. Hope this helps 😊
@@CALIGRL888 waw!! Really inspiring. It is just so encouraging to see where people begin and what they can achieve with discipline and commitment. Thank you for the long and detailed answer. Wish you all the best, health and happiness.
I'm definitely very neurotic, and I do suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. I've always been very nervous and emotional. It can definitely be frustrating at times, especially when people are less than understanding. I'm also very introverted, so a lot of social situations are stressful for me.
I thought I was neurotic. I thought I was going to depressed and anxious for the rest of my life. Then I finally found a medication that allowed me to get out of a chronic cycle of anxiety and fear. I found that outside of that cycle of anxiety, I am incredibly laid back and deeply peaceful.
I agree! Very pleasing to look at while listening to the not-so-pleasurable content lol but in the best way. Dr. Tracey Marks is great at what she does.
I thoroughly dislike personality inventory questions, because they are _so_ vague! Example: "I get nervous a lot." Is "a lot" = I rarely get nervous, but if I do the nervousness is crippling? (Intensity?) Is "a lot" = I get nervous often? (Frequency?) Is "a lot" both, frequency and intensity? How much is "a lot" and what is the "normal" amount of "getting nervous"? How do I know, if get nervous "a lot"? What is the reference? What kind of "nervous" are we talking about, the one based in anxiety, or also the joyful excited kind of "nervous", or also the physical kind of "nervous" that I get from coffee, tea and weed? Some kind of personality inventory was part of my autism diagnostic. At some point the attending doctor said she had to take a break to cancel her other appointments that afternoon. I asked, if that was because of all my questions, and she laughed and said yes.
I did The Big 5 test twice: during a depressive episode and another time when I was healthy. The results were totally different. Even when you are not experiencing a disorder, the results could change based on your mood that day.
I agree! They should update the questions and clarify. I took an ADHD test and received a negative because I didn't understand the questions. I don't think I have ADHD because of that but I was put on medicine anyone to help me cope. The other questions I answered during my time in inpatient, seemed pretty straightforward since I was currently through a depressive episode so it was easy for me to go to the negative extreme with all of the questions. However, now that I'm not currently in a bpd or depressive episode, it's hard to answer the questions because of the way it is written. Especially since I tend to think in black or white.
@@addysaw Interesting, I've heard other people say the same. For me, mood/disposition is not a large factor like that. Although I've been told that I "decompress/compensate depressively" (freely translated from German, not sure what the correct English term is), I don't really feel depressed when I do that. It feels more like a compulsion to hide in the sense of "I need a hibernation period to regain energy". I get lethargic, unsocial and apathetic as a result until "my batteries are charged up again", but it doesn't affect my mood thankfully.
The stoneware vs. fine China analogy is spot on. Thank you! Also, love love love the new background setup. You look comfortable and competent sitting in the chair!
@@DrTraceyMarks Hi there, I was under the impression that bone china is stronger than all other ceramics or pottery? That was my understanding of it, and why big hotels use it - because it breaks or chips less.
I like the analogy, I just don’t think the comparison with personal taste is accurate. Preferring stoneware over fine china cannot be compared with being neurotic vs. not being neurotic. Otherwise I found this informative and I appreciate the upload.
When I watched the video and saw the questions (such as are you depressed? Are you moody...), I couldn't believe what I was hearing: Because all the questions was so spesific to what I was living. I am not an expert and it's such a wrong thing to come to a conclusion by just watching a video but I felt like I might be neurotic (very much). And I think I relaxed a bit by knowing there's an explanation about what's going on with me. I think- NO I know that world's a hell for us, neurotic people. Because everything affects us so much where it comes to the point we couldn't take the pain any more. And it's a torture honestly. But we still manage to deal with all this pain somehow and will try our best to be alive. I don't know you but as a person also believes has been living her life neurotic, I understand you. I just hope you will know one day that you have an amazing personality beyond your neuroticism. 💕 World maybe hard for us to live but not stronger than us.
Hello everybody.... my name is Susanna and I am definitely neurotic! I would say somewhere in the middle and I have been this way all my life and I am 70 years old right now so I don't think I'm going to change! As usual great job doctor Tracy!
Has getting through life with this trait been difficult for me? Asking, because I'm the same personality and find it hard to deal with the stressors that come with being in early 20s
@@tanyanagpal7328 hello Tanya I just got your message and yes it has been very hard.... however when I was in my twenties I went to a psychiatrist and they put me on a small dose of a pill called Librium which really helped me but even on meds I was still always highly sensitive just about everything. Finally a new psychiatrist put me on the pill Xanax which I know right now has a lot of bad reviews and it's considered to be so harmful but that of course is only for people who abused it and take more than they should. I was given 2 milligrams a day of this pill Xanax and I have been taking that exact amount for 25 years now and that really isn't a large amount but whenever I get really stressed or I am overly anxious about anything I will take just one mg and it helps me but it doesn't cure me but it helps me to cope and takes the edge off.
I’m highly neurotic and have ADHD. I’ve spent most of my adult life very depressed and anxious. I was diagnosed with ADHD recently at 28yo. Think going undiagnosed for so long is what led to my demise and array of mental health struggles. (Also genetics, both parents were extremely disabled due to schizophrenia, bipolar etc. They both committed suicide) So strong emotions come very easily to me and I am very affected by the people around me. But I have an extremely hard time identifying and even feeling the emotions. And I have ZERO regulation of them so I’m in a constant state of overwhelm. So my brain usually just freezes up, which usually leads to crying, dissociation and isolation. So it’s like yes I am very in touch with my emotions but also have no idea what they are or how to regulate them.. so not really 😅
I feel your videos are very thorough and non-judgemental. I feel comfortable learning from your videos. Thank you for taking the time to post for people to understand themselves better.
I watch a lot of mental health professionals on RUclips. Dr. Tracey is the most straightforward, clear, and educational - while always being interesting - I've seen. Love her channel!
Thank you so very much for what you are doing. This is my "counseling". I can not afford the mental health counseling that I need. But as a child I experienced trauma and I'm stuck with PTSD. These videos are really helping me. I appreciate you.
I used to be neurotic. I would breakdown and flail right there and then whenever inconveniences happened. But now i could control it. It probably has something to do with what i consume. Since im now on a diet, i also realize the way i handle conflicts is alot different than before. I tend to be calmer and analytical in a situation before i react. It's true when you said neuroticism has something to do with our nervous system.
Oh my goodness, thank you! I have a good friend that is so neurotic it is getting hard to work the business we started together. I took a quick online test after watching this to assess myself. This helps me understand where we are having issues, so I can communicate with her better and perhaps calm her a bit. I appreciate this straight forward and to the point video.She is an amazing and talented, very dear person, and I hate watching her melt down with incredible anxiety over things that are actually going very well! I can now see that my personality while stabilizing for her perhaps also doesn't give her the input she needs to feel like she is being heard. Thanks for leading me to new skills!!!!
I finally can pin down why I feel the way I feel on a daily basis alongside my struggles with autism, its almost as if my whole life I felt like I was behaving differently to others and now that there’s word for better understanding my behaviour it’s actually given me so much peace and acceptance that I am highly neurotic and that’s okay! Thank you so SO much for these videos I feel seen for once in my life, I appreciate you Doc for always speaking so eloquently❤️
Hi other neurotic people :) I've recently just learned about personality traits at uni and when I heard about neuroticism I thought that sounded a lot like me! I wonder how much this is genetic and how much comes from trauma. I have a fair bit of trauma, including intergenerational. One thing that having strong emotions is good for though, I found, is singing. I used to do a lot of jazz singing and people were often very moved by my performances. Silver lining :)
I love the comparison between Fine China and Stone wear. Love the information. Your information is valuable to me because you also provide info/edu on natural and alternative interventions outside of meds...I am a mental health professional, pastoral counselor and cosmetologist who likes researching, using and creating natural products for body, skin and hair and I love providing tools and psychoeducation that help empower my clients diagnosed with psychiatric disorders so I share your channel and videos in my group on Facebook and via text messages
In giving a presentation at work about the work of our Compliance team, I said that the work suited neurotic personalities, and wouldn't you want your risk managers to be on high alert all the time? But my audience wasn't familiar with the term and heard "erotic" and "eroticism".... thereby confirming my belief that I am the most awkward person in the room at any time, LOL!!!
My neuroticism and anxiety was a direct result of MY reactions to external stimuli. The actions of others, the unavoidable events of everyday life and even my perception of what others think. I was in a doom loop. The ONLY thing in life that I control is myself and my actions/reactions. It’s a war I fight every day and I’ve made up my mind to either win or die trying.
I am very, very, VERY neurotic. I’ve always been that way and always will be. I’m also intensely introverted. I would say I fall low on openness, high on conscientiousness, and am somewhere on the middle of agreeableness. It’s been awhile since I did one of these types of inventories.
I am so prone to being angry, even for simple things. I have mood swings like no other. It’s been tough to cope with and I thought I would grow out of it but I’m 31.
Me too! But I didn't used to be like this until I was with my ex husband almost 10 years ago, I don't know why now I'm like this and I can go from 0-100 in a snap for something stupid. I have such bad anger, depression, and anxiety ever since. I know it wasn't a good relationship situation and it changed me, but I feel so different than I used to, I just want to stop reacting so quickly, especially for my son. I don't want to be an angry mommy😔😢 Hoping to maybe get some pointers from anyone? I feel so alone in my struggle, even though I know I'm not the only one going thru this.😔
@@imagamerchick I am sorry you are experiencing this. Due to the accompanying anxiety and depression, is it possible for you to get professional help? I’ve done I do vidual counseling in the past and it was a healthy outlet with some guidance on coping skills.
@@egr3071 I should be able to get some kind of help, but my schedule makes it so hard to take care of my needs, I'm always so busy talking care of everyone else, but I need to make time for myself, I'm definitely feeling it x.x
@@imagamerchick OMG that’s me exactly!!! I can drop something …… a feather …… and I lose my shit big time…… cussing, screaming ……tears ……etc. I never used to be this way …… I’m 54 and started getting this way about 5 years ago. Idk 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I truly appreciate you and what you do!! Especially how you do it.. You really give us the information in such a non judgements way, and with tons of empathy.. Whomever has had the privilege to work with you is so very fortunate.
It’s insane how good you are at explaining all of these topics in such a clear manner. Giving examples helps SO much because without them- a lot of this stuff can be very misleading if the person only reads the definition or word. I’m 43 and have borderline but I never really understood my neurosis that well until now!
Yes! I echo this request. Death anxiety has been crippling for me lately. Not sure what is triggering it - would love to hear your expertise, Dr. Tracey.
Yes please. I lost an uncle a month ago. I came to terms with his loss and all. However, a month later, I think it brought up all the death stuff for me. I've been feeling a bit apathetic. I was with a friend today and he was discussing about our great future plans of excelling in our careers and finding great partners. My response was "We're all going to die after all that and be forgotten" That's when it hit me that I'm really not in a good place. I'm preparing for exams for which I usually enjoy studying, but the thought of it won't matter coz we are going to die lingers. Please help.
I try to keep a more positive mindset, but being in a negative place makes it tough. I have always wanted to take Psychology, but have been told I can't because my math is weak, I still try though. Thank you for this video, I hope you know how much you are appreciated for what you share here.
Honestly, i had no idea why i cried so easily back then (and even now) Even though i was just getting teased, i just can't stop myself from crying And when there's a problem i can't solve easily, i tend to get really frustrated and then again, cry And i just found out about neuroticism today thanks to this channel Thanks so much for uploading this or else i would've been so lost on why am i like this
Last week I was wondering if I would have been labeled Neurotic instead of autistic had I been seen decades ago. This video popped up in my feed today, and I am grateful for your informative answers!
Wow! Just wow! I live how you are confident in your space, fully at home with the knowledge and deliver with such conviction. This is endearing and it's beautiful to watch 🎉
I always (lol) use should, would, will in my speech. Really helped me to identify my neurosis on the depression end of the spectrum. Very informative and thought provoking videos.
Thank you for this video, it's so educational! I love your example of the fine glass vs stone, I feel like I have neurotic tendencies and it helps knowing that all this self solve I've been trying to give myself is actually something I should continue practicing.
Much appreciated, Dr. Marks. Well done and professional. I have struggled with these problems since childhood, that's about 60 years. I find your presentations to be of great help.
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Are you borderline? Well yes! In every way possible. BPD, and every other way to be on the verge of something, never really quite commiting to anything, and unable to move. Thanks life.
I am very sceptical about psychiatry in general. I have what many would call 'negative view on the world', though since I have rational basis under my views I'm pretty much ok with them. but for some reason I find the calm speech of this beautiful well-spoken lady very soothing and comforting. thank you for your videos. cheers from Russia
We did the big five personality test in college and I raised my hand to ask what it means when you score off the chart on neuroticism and my friends just looked at me and laughed. XD
Hey, Dr. Marks I just came across your videos and I think you are such a breath of fresh air. You have really informative and helpful videos that shine a bright light on Mental Health. We all appreciate it immensely. I was wondering and hoping if you can make a video on Orthorexia. I started eating healthy about 7 years ago. Not for weight loss but, more for eating non processed foods and becoming vegan. It has consumed my entire life. *Pun not intended lol It affects my family, friends, and even potential relationships. I say that I don't care what others eat because I'm not them. But slowly over time, I feel like I put myself on a pedestal. I genuinely enjoy eating healthy when I have what I need. I live with my family and when my specific foods run low. I begin to feel trapped as if I'm surrounded by poisonous foods. It hurts me to always turn down my mother's cooking. And others get annoyed about my extremely strict diet. It's so bad that I will throw the given food over my shoulder when nobody is looking. I refuse to eat anything without reading the label first. I also avoided going out to restaurants. And it hinders my judgment on potential partners because I can't see myself with someone who is not similar to my specific lifestyle. Sometimes I starve myself if there are no options for me. It started with eliminating dairy/meats and it now has evolved into gluten-free, sugar-free, no artificial anything, and no alcohol. I feel like I painted myself into a corner. But at the same time, I can't see myself compromising because I do enjoy eating healthy. This leads to anxiety and hopelessness. If you could please shine some light on this topic with your phenomenal mental health superpowers I would be forever grateful. I promise I will take notes and do the homework.
My mom has always been neurotic, worrying about a lot of different things, and constantly being upset, she raised me well though, like an overprotective mom, but she was a good, very responsible mom, but now she is going through a cancer, in the last stage, and her mind is going everywhere, she is much more neurotic than before, all the time anxious, worrying so much about a lot of things, stressing about what is going to happen with me, and my dad when she is gone. Is heart breaking, all we want is her to rest, and be relax in her last moments, but her mind is all the time anxious, I swear, all she talks to me are stressing things (debts, problems, conflicts, bad things in the world), but when the therapist come home, she doesn't tell her nothing 🤦🏻♀️just talk about how our dogs are like baby's to her, or the new coffee the bought...
Thank you. Now I realize where I'm at, what condition I actually have. I already figured out the reasons why. It's a never ending irony actually as one primary reason. I also now understand more of why I never get a real diagnosis. Neurotic I am however, no doubt. I did not know that before I saw this, so I'm basing that on your information, and explanations. Now I understand it and also feel better about it, thank you. The OCEAN breakdown and diagnostic explanation is really sensible.
Hi Dr Tracey I'd like to make the point (re what you say at 3:38) that not everyone who's emotionally reactive is emotionally open. I've known enough moody people who aren't that easy to read. You know they're in a mood, but you don't know who or what they're happy or unhappy with (usually it's unhappy, and v often they don't want to say). So even though their emotions are nearer to surface, they can be just as hard to read meaningfully as someone who's a complete cold fish. That's just my experience!
I feel you though! I wish Dr. Marks could make more videos too. Yet, I feel that 1 a week is fair. She has to live her life too. I heard from other RUclipsrs that there is a need to separate their home and business life from RUclips life. I guess too much of anything can be bad. Peace!
@Zaden Zane Yes you're right. Being emotionally reactive doesn't mean you're more open than others. I was illustrating the opposite point that being emotionally reactive doesn't always have to be a negative thing and there are some benefits. @NoThruTraffic thanks for wanting more but realizing I have to set limits. As much as I enjoy making content, I can still scramble at times to make sure I don't miss a week. I don't know how people are putting out unique content daily or several times a week. I haven't let go of my practice so that's where most of my time goes. 🙂
Thank you for your segment of international classifacations. 💌 Not many people discuss the progression of the DSM in it's various stages and too often view it as a concrete referance. 💢 Thank you for representing the progression.
What I remember most about neurosis was back in the 1980s and 90s if you looked up mental health in a library book you'd very often get a preamble delineating "neurosis" and "psychosis" as if these were mutually exclusive things. You were either one or the other. Depression for example was often listed twice in abnormal psychology books, once as a reactive neurosis and again as an endogenous condition that can tip into psychosis at the extreme. Then I find out years later that it's quite common for people with psychotic illness to have symptoms considered "neurotic"― a person with paranoid delusions might have obsessions and compulsions; someone with severe bipolar disorder might have panic attacks. But the way those old books told it, you were either one or the other. Very misleading! So I'm not surprised they dropped the term.
When you look up "neurotic" on the internet, you get my picture. Thank you, Dr. Marks, for always trying to make hard concepts understandable, and helping others!
@@CP-ig7mj please don't have kids, don't go near kids. Neuroticism is a personality trait, and therefore genetically ingrained, one can't 'eliminate' it. I'm sure you want to help but you're not educated and you'll hurt people
Yes..sigh...I am "fine china" and so were my foremothers and the generational trait goes back and back(I'm assuming) My mom was, for certain. In the her final chapters and fairly recent wake of my mother's death, I managed to gain compassion for what her mental life was like and no longer assign blame. The biggest and most coveted gift to me from this was developing compassion towards her. It was not forced, but prayed for (w/doubts about ever reaching it) bcuz I felt so cold and helpless. My prayer was answered. I know this means that I have developed some compassion for myself but this trait is still a work in progress. Alot of time was wasted fighting. Mental illness is not something you can argue and fight with. I miss her despite this as well as mourning the relationship we might have had even tho' it's only a "fantastic notion." This may be the best explanation of the big 5 with examples yet, Dr. Marks! Thankyou
I think the big 5 personality traits might not be as accurate for people with PTSD/Complex PTSD. How much of our PTSD symptoms are a part of our personality?
I was just thinking this. When my anxiety / depression is in remission, my personality really flourishes / changes, whereas when I’m struggling, I find myself more on the less-conscientiousness, more neurotic scale. I understand that the point of neuroticism is that I’m more naturally susceptible to those things, but considering PTSD is unnatural, it doesn’t seem right.
I work in a high stress job, IT administrator. Most mornings, I wake up with an uneasy, anxious feeling. I am definitely neurotic. I take Gabapentin, Lamotrigine, and as needed, Ativan. I have run the gamut trying to control my depression and anxiety. If it were not for medication, I would be a basket case or worse.
@Joni Jones it has a calming effect. It helps my brain to not run wild, thinking of the overwhelming number of tasks that I have going on, and just dealing with one at a time.
Dr. Marks- thanks for this vid, and the link to the coping skills training. As a worrier, and a people pleaser, I can always use new tools to help me temper myself.
My ADHD is making me want to watch ALL of your videos now because I find all of this so fascinating. I’m going to limit myself because growth and whatnot lol 😅
Being neurotic, Autistic, and having MDD is no way to go through life. I can vouch for that. Learning about it all after you turn 50 feels like a life wasted. The pandemic just tacked on another 18 months to 5 years of self-imposed isolation. It was odd to watch and hear people complaining about it. The good news is that people like me don't live as long as normal people, and Wellbutrin helps with the activity of not caring all that much.
Super helpful!! I am highly neurotic. It is something I have been working on for years with myself and with mental health professionals but I am indeed highly neurotic. No one every explained this concept to me and I have some fun stuff to discuss at my next session so thank you for this breakdown. Even if my doctors and I decided this isnt true it great to have the language to be able to explore it with my doctor.
Is neuroticism engraved in our genes or can one work on ''taming'' neurotic traits to a degree that one would not be considered neurotic anymore? In other words, is neuroticism set in stone or is it fluid and can change with, say, effort?
Not a expert: but she did mention coping skills. Unfortunately, the word “coping” tends to give off the impression that it is just a bandaid to something permanent, or something you will have to deal with for forever. This is not true in my opinion. I think with a lot of introspection, and a lot of hard work towards good positive habits and skills, and a lot of mental training- one can improve their neuroticism. There will be people who tell you it’s impossible, that it’s only fixed with medication, or that it’s too hard and you are too far gone- but those are the very opinions that poorly effected you and brought you down in the first place. I think many mental and personality traits can be tamed, or pruned. Sometimes you need new perspective or a new environment. Sometimes you must look inward or to the past for answers. Sometimes you must relearn everything you know. Sometime the process is painful, confusing and seems long. But I believe anyone can become a better person if they try.
Yes yes you can, if you notice neuroticism effects people in different countries differently. In the usa neuroticism is high. You control your mind and your emotions at the end of the day.
@@cellogirl11rw55 You misunderstood. I understand that coping skills are learned to get around tough situations, or handle everyday stresses. I understand that everyone uses coping mechanisms everyday. But in several situations, they are not a permanent solution. They are tools to use as you calm yourself, and re-train yourself to respond differently to stresses, situations ect ect.
Thank you, Dr. Tracey. These definitions are fantastic and much easier to understand than the typical explanations of personality traits. I like that there is little moral evaluation in your descriptions as implied moral evaluations can lead to stigmatization and ostracism. Everything has a reason and a function and aren't necessarily maladaptations to environmental or situation influence, but help is available when our responses and perceptions create more problems than they solve. ❤️ There is an old joke (no disrespect intended): neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them, and psychiatrists collect the rent. 😂🙏✌️
I recognise I can be neurotic , I can recognise the signs and take appropriate action . I have learnt this because my inertia was burnt out . Also because of serious gaslighting in many aspects of my life regarding finances , career etc . Taking timeout out & getting to know my junk could I move forward . I have many obstacles ahead , we are not alone feeling like this ✌️
Being neurotic is like seeing hidden messages. Someone says something but you don't realize it was a joke. Jokes are sometimes used for gaslighting. Someone wants to hurt you but masks it as a joke. Or uses the fact that you don't understand jokes against you. Usually neuroticism is correct reaction to certain environments
I love how you get right to the point - no long intros or outros. It's refreshing and useful :))
Me too!!
Definitely! It's so much easier to follow
Can 💯 percent agree
That's why I will subscribe to her. Straight to point no jargon and quality explanation
RIGHT!
Yes I'm very neurotic.. I've been like this since I was younger. I'm 26.. everyone seems emotionless, and I feel like the only one with high emotional sensitivity .. it feels horrible.
Me too, me too !!!
You’re not alone. I feel the exact same way. ❤️
Same
@coda Black veil brides?
To me it's different. Everyone seem so emotional and I'm here like what.
You are a beautiful blend of art and science.
Thank you so much Mark! 😊❤️
♥️♥️👍
@@angillbr61 when you are ready
She is 😍📚
This 👏👏👏
Ok, someone’s been researching their thumbnail game 💪🏾🙏🏽✊🏾
Lol! I can’t take credit. I have a great designer.
Fancy seeing you here Tay.
@@DrTraceyMarks Credit for hiring a great designer though!
Man when I was young on the old RUclips I remember a very funny song....funny at first. After I listened a couple of times, I realize it was a very deep song.
Good times back in the day.
@@milkandspice1074 i'm not surprised. All intelligent people should eventually find themselves here or in a similar space. We either know someone with mental health issues, have mental health issues or seeking to shore up our good mental health practices, and Dr Marks has to be one of the best teachers on the planet. Well, that's how i think anyway.
I have two good friends, one is highly neurotic, kind and empathetic and has a great sense of humour, the other is at the low end of the neurotic scale and carefree but she can be harsh and judgemental, and often criticises her friends and family. Of the two I prefer the company of the neurotic!
Whew. That made me feel better about being neurotic. Thank you.😅💞
I truly appreciate your comment....this has helped me feel better, about being so alone in this world of people who couldnt care less.. i wish i actually knew you.
Unfortunately I think the term neurotic has taken on a very negative connotation. But it really means vulnerable. I’m not surprised your vulnerable friend is very empathic
@@DrTraceyMarks I got a question 🙋♀️ I took the ocean test. Would my test answer make it more like the infj or the infp personality type?
I got
O=94%
C=35%
E=42%
A=46%
N=90%
Sounds like me🥰
I’m pretty sure I’m neurotic and I’m just now accepting that about myself after 36 years 🙄 I didn’t know there was a term for it, I just knew I was driving myself crazy with how easily I get upset, stressed, & can barely tolerate change. Working to survive in this world of constant change & uncertainty is a task indeed.
So true
Yep. Just realized this when I had a breakdown tonight over something VERYYYY menial. .......I'm 36 😬
ACOA people have difficulty with transitions.
Right
Same but I'm 40
How have no doctors or psychologists ever mentioned this term to me, it is a perfect description of my illness
i feel i get neurotic everytime im in a partner relationship. When im single, i feel my life runs smoothly and normal. With a partner my life always gets hard, i get neurotic, afraid, too vulnerable, i cant handle my emotions, i explode. Its horrible. How can it be that i suffer so much, everytime, with romantic partners?
Possibly your attachment style maybe anxious.
@@goddest2985 yes, and its shit :(
I’m right there with you ❤️. Stay with the feelings and work through them. Change doesn’t happen when being single and having life run smoothly. I would find a good therapist if possible.
Watch nu mindrame on youtube video about anxious preoccupied attachment style. thats you 🖤
I relate to this so much! I’ve never related to a comment more
I used to score high on neuroticism years ago when I took the Big 5 in my psych class... after watching this video, I've realized I now score low and how much inner-work I have done on myself over the years. Feels good.
Good for you! What kind of work did you do if I may ask??
@@mimilacocci6573 oh man that answer has no end. Really any kind of self-reflective work you can do is great. Life is about constantly learning and growing and adapting. But I guess specifically: I started by breaking down the key issues I struggled with from a diagnostic standpoint. Everything is self-diagnosed but specifically I struggle/struggled with ADHD, low-severity OCD, and at times general anxiety, with an additional context for an early onset PDD in full remission (as I am prone to have flare ups as a result). And while I never had it, I also had some tendencies for borderline due to prosocial modelingfrom childhood. Understanding this can help you understand what is being neglected in my life- for me I was so focused on other people that I would neglect my own basic needs (sleeping, eating, showering, shitting, etc.) because I was so desperate for their validation. (Side note: not gunna argue with anyone about commorbidity or diagnoses in general, I know what I have. Plus a degree in Psychology on top of a religious studying of the DSM and heavy infatuation for research into the field of Psychology/self-improvement/ and health and wellness as a whole).
As I began working on all of that, I began to realize that part of what would trigger me had to do with the caliber of people in my life. I was incredibly prone to over-sympathizing initially with NPDs (particularly coverts), borderline individuals, and those who struggled with social anxiety. And notnjust prone to them, but codependent. As I began to weed the incredibly stubborn, toxic people and environments out of my life- I set healthy boundaries and began taking accountability with the others. Note: accountability is just as important as setting boundaries. Many people fall into the trap of self-victimization. I think to some degree it is unavoidable when you first start learning about this stuff and with the way social media and media as a whole is oriented. But it is incredibly important. We need to learn and understand what it is we specifically are doing to create and continue to fall into the same patterns and circumstances- and then actively set goals and make steps to change that behavior.
After working on my relationships/codependency for a while, I started focusing more specifically on attachment styles and building my sense of self-identity by developing hobbies and interests. Essentially if you haven't caught on, you move up Maslow's pyramid. It's a fundamental principle, so it's often overlooked, but eventually you begin to realize just how crucial it is. You gotta consistently take care of your physical needs and feel safe before you can move to your emotional needs. From there it's your identity, status, and aspirations. And from there, you self-actualize. I'm oversimplifying clearly, but this is the overarching structure. Just remember it's a process.
Also I highly recommend keeping some kind of journal when you have moments of self-realization and take time to be present and explore them as deep as you can. And also installing a goal tracking app to help you focus on what is important. That helps you stay on track and not get sucked into the stronger, more caustic habits again. Healthy habits are the best groundwork for success in any capacity. Hope this helps 😊
@@CALIGRL888 waw!! Really inspiring. It is just so encouraging to see where people begin and what they can achieve with discipline and commitment. Thank you for the long and detailed answer. Wish you all the best, health and happiness.
@@mimilacocci6573 anytime, love ☺️ wherever you are on your journey- I wish you luck ❤️
Thanks for your explanation! Helped a lot!
I'm definitely very neurotic, and I do suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. I've always been very nervous and emotional. It can definitely be frustrating at times, especially when people are less than understanding.
I'm also very introverted, so a lot of social situations are stressful for me.
“I use this analogy because their both valuable” what class and understanding this woman has tip of the the hat for this gem😇
*they’re’
I thought I was neurotic. I thought I was going to depressed and anxious for the rest of my life. Then I finally found a medication that allowed me to get out of a chronic cycle of anxiety and fear. I found that outside of that cycle of anxiety, I am incredibly laid back and deeply peaceful.
Hey, do you mind saying what the medication is you take?
@@elizabethr3106 lacking minerals causes mood imbalance
@@elizabethr3106 low dose Zoloft. It was just enough to break the cycle of negative neurotransmitters
@@hayaishome thank you For your response, I will look into this.
@@UnfinishedRiot thank you
ooooooh that depth of field with the flowers in the foreground looks gewwwwd
I agree! Very pleasing to look at while listening to the not-so-pleasurable content lol but in the best way. Dr. Tracey Marks is great at what she does.
I thoroughly dislike personality inventory questions, because they are _so_ vague!
Example: "I get nervous a lot."
Is "a lot" = I rarely get nervous, but if I do the nervousness is crippling? (Intensity?)
Is "a lot" = I get nervous often? (Frequency?)
Is "a lot" both, frequency and intensity?
How much is "a lot" and what is the "normal" amount of "getting nervous"?
How do I know, if get nervous "a lot"? What is the reference?
What kind of "nervous" are we talking about, the one based in anxiety, or also the joyful excited kind of "nervous", or also the physical kind of "nervous" that I get from coffee, tea and weed?
Some kind of personality inventory was part of my autism diagnostic. At some point the attending doctor said she had to take a break to cancel her other appointments that afternoon. I asked, if that was because of all my questions, and she laughed and said yes.
I did The Big 5 test twice: during a depressive episode and another time when I was healthy. The results were totally different.
Even when you are not experiencing a disorder, the results could change based on your mood that day.
I can relate a bit. Read some Bill James if you are a baseball fan. He is great at studying and breaking things down too,
I agree! They should update the questions and clarify. I took an ADHD test and received a negative because I didn't understand the questions. I don't think I have ADHD because of that but I was put on medicine anyone to help me cope. The other questions I answered during my time in inpatient, seemed pretty straightforward since I was currently through a depressive episode so it was easy for me to go to the negative extreme with all of the questions. However, now that I'm not currently in a bpd or depressive episode, it's hard to answer the questions because of the way it is written. Especially since I tend to think in black or white.
@@MatthewOhioKettering Baseball is not among my interests. But thank you for the recommendation anyway :)
@@addysaw Interesting, I've heard other people say the same.
For me, mood/disposition is not a large factor like that. Although I've been told that I "decompress/compensate depressively" (freely translated from German, not sure what the correct English term is), I don't really feel depressed when I do that. It feels more like a compulsion to hide in the sense of "I need a hibernation period to regain energy". I get lethargic, unsocial and apathetic as a result until "my batteries are charged up again", but it doesn't affect my mood thankfully.
The stoneware vs. fine China analogy is spot on. Thank you!
Also, love love love the new background setup. You look comfortable and competent sitting in the chair!
Right
Thank you Chandelier! I’m A lot more comfortable because I have more space now. 😊
@@DrTraceyMarks Hi there, I was under the impression that bone china is stronger than all other ceramics or pottery? That was my understanding of it, and why big hotels use it - because it breaks or chips less.
I like the analogy, I just don’t think the comparison with personal taste is accurate. Preferring stoneware over fine china cannot be compared with being neurotic vs. not being neurotic. Otherwise I found this informative and I appreciate the upload.
I think I’ve been on the high end of the neurotic scale my whole life. It feels scary, like I don’t have an identity beyond my neuroticism
When I watched the video and saw the questions (such as are you depressed? Are you moody...), I couldn't believe what I was hearing: Because all the questions was so spesific to what I was living. I am not an expert and it's such a wrong thing to come to a conclusion by just watching a video but I felt like I might be neurotic (very much). And I think I relaxed a bit by knowing there's an explanation about what's going on with me. I think- NO I know that world's a hell for us, neurotic people. Because everything affects us so much where it comes to the point we couldn't take the pain any more. And it's a torture honestly. But we still manage to deal with all this pain somehow and will try our best to be alive.
I don't know you but as a person also believes has been living her life neurotic, I understand you. I just hope you will know one day that you have an amazing personality beyond your neuroticism. 💕 World maybe hard for us to live but not stronger than us.
Me too. Very much so.
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Hell no, me neither. It's a daily struggle.
Glad I'm not alone in this ☺️
Hello everybody.... my name is Susanna and I am definitely neurotic! I would say somewhere in the middle and I have been this way all my life and I am 70 years old right now so I don't think I'm going to change! As usual great job doctor Tracy!
Has getting through life with this trait been difficult for me? Asking, because I'm the same personality and find it hard to deal with the stressors that come with being in early 20s
@@tanyanagpal7328 hello Tanya I just got your message and yes it has been very hard.... however when I was in my twenties I went to a psychiatrist and they put me on a small dose of a pill called Librium which really helped me but even on meds I was still always highly sensitive just about everything. Finally a new psychiatrist put me on the pill Xanax which I know right now has a lot of bad reviews and it's considered to be so harmful but that of course is only for people who abused it and take more than they should. I was given 2 milligrams a day of this pill Xanax and I have been taking that exact amount for 25 years now and that really isn't a large amount but whenever I get really stressed or I am overly anxious about anything I will take just one mg and it helps me but it doesn't cure me but it helps me to cope and takes the edge off.
Hi my name is Suzannah, I'm 17, and I am also neurotic. Very much so.
Hello Suzanne, I'm 71 and doing very well on my recovery.
It's never to late
@@suzannal6047 thank you for sharing Suzanna. I'm on anti-anxiety meds too! Any pearls of wisdom on getting by life as a sensitive person?
I’m highly neurotic and have ADHD. I’ve spent most of my adult life very depressed and anxious. I was diagnosed with ADHD recently at 28yo. Think going undiagnosed for so long is what led to my demise and array of mental health struggles. (Also genetics, both parents were extremely disabled due to schizophrenia, bipolar etc. They both committed suicide)
So strong emotions come very easily to me and I am very affected by the people around me. But I have an extremely hard time identifying and even feeling the emotions. And I have ZERO regulation of them so I’m in a constant state of overwhelm. So my brain usually just freezes up, which usually leads to crying, dissociation and isolation.
So it’s like yes I am very in touch with my emotions but also have no idea what they are or how to regulate them.. so not really 😅
Try vagus nerve stimulation exercises
This is exactly how I feel
Unreal how you described exactly how I feel. I wish you luck in finding peace!
I feel your videos are very thorough and non-judgemental. I feel comfortable learning from your videos. Thank you for taking the time to post for people to understand themselves better.
I watch a lot of mental health professionals on RUclips. Dr. Tracey is the most straightforward, clear, and educational - while always being interesting - I've seen. Love her channel!
Thank you so very much for what you are doing. This is my "counseling". I can not afford the mental health counseling that I need. But as a child I experienced trauma and I'm stuck with PTSD. These videos are really helping me. I appreciate you.
Use an eap, you can keep reapplying to get more free appointments
I used to be neurotic. I would breakdown and flail right there and then whenever inconveniences happened. But now i could control it. It probably has something to do with what i consume. Since im now on a diet, i also realize the way i handle conflicts is alot different than before. I tend to be calmer and analytical in a situation before i react. It's true when you said neuroticism has something to do with our nervous system.
Oh my goodness, thank you! I have a good friend that is so neurotic it is getting hard to work the business we started together. I took a quick online test after watching this to assess myself. This helps me understand where we are having issues, so I can communicate with her better and perhaps calm her a bit. I appreciate this straight forward and to the point video.She is an amazing and talented, very dear person, and I hate watching her melt down with incredible anxiety over things that are actually going very well! I can now see that my personality while stabilizing for her perhaps also doesn't give her the input she needs to feel like she is being heard. Thanks for leading me to new skills!!!!
Your friend is lucky to have you!
You sound like an amazing person to have as a friend ❤
I like how you put it;
"Having my emotions closer to the surface"
I finally can pin down why I feel the way I feel on a daily basis alongside my struggles with autism, its almost as if my whole life I felt like I was behaving differently to others and now that there’s word for better understanding my behaviour it’s actually given me so much peace and acceptance that I am highly neurotic and that’s okay! Thank you so SO much for these videos I feel seen for once in my life, I appreciate you Doc for always speaking so eloquently❤️
I love you and your thumbnails are hilarious! Never change
Thanks so much Ryan ❤
Hi other neurotic people :) I've recently just learned about personality traits at uni and when I heard about neuroticism I thought that sounded a lot like me! I wonder how much this is genetic and how much comes from trauma. I have a fair bit of trauma, including intergenerational. One thing that having strong emotions is good for though, I found, is singing. I used to do a lot of jazz singing and people were often very moved by my performances. Silver lining :)
I don't perform, but I also find singing to really help me.
I love the comparison between Fine China and Stone wear. Love the information. Your information is valuable to me because you also provide info/edu on natural and alternative interventions outside of meds...I am a mental health professional, pastoral counselor and cosmetologist who likes researching, using and creating natural products for body, skin and hair and I love providing tools and psychoeducation that help empower my clients diagnosed with psychiatric disorders so I share your channel and videos in my group on Facebook and via text messages
Thank you so much dr. Tracey. You really help me in educating myself on my mental issues. You are the best! ❤️
Thanks so much Icy Storm. Thanks for staying around 👍🏽❤️
Love hearing more about the OCEAN scale!! Thanks Dr Marks 😊
Openness: Mid-high
Conscientiousness: High
Extroversion: High
Agreeableness: Low
Neuroticism: High
In giving a presentation at work about the work of our Compliance team, I said that the work suited neurotic personalities, and wouldn't you want your risk managers to be on high alert all the time?
But my audience wasn't familiar with the term and heard "erotic" and "eroticism".... thereby confirming my belief that I am the most awkward person in the room at any time, LOL!!!
Lol! Actually that says more about them than you. Wishful thinking…😀
Isn't compliance so much fun?
Confirming they are stupid, really.
🤣🤣🤣 hell I would have love to see the look on your audience faces
This woman is amazing.. there's so many of us that can't afford therapy so these videos are gold
Having both autism and ADHD is fun with respect to the openness scale. I get bored and need to seek out novelty, and also change is uncomfortable.
I have ADHD too, and I thought the same thing about myself!
You put things so simply and clearly. Never equated neuroticism with vulnerableness. . .but it makes so much sense!
My neuroticism and anxiety was a direct result of MY reactions to external stimuli. The actions of others, the unavoidable events of everyday life and even my perception of what others think. I was in a doom loop. The ONLY thing in life that I control is myself and my actions/reactions. It’s a war I fight every day and I’ve made up my mind to either win or die trying.
I am very, very, VERY neurotic. I’ve always been that way and always will be. I’m also intensely introverted. I would say I fall low on openness, high on conscientiousness, and am somewhere on the middle of agreeableness. It’s been awhile since I did one of these types of inventories.
It's great that you're high on consciousness. With that, you can train yourself to implement new thought processes and coping mechanisms
A person can also be open and talkative and still neurotic
Are we just going to sit here and pretend Dr. Tracy _isn’t_ rocking the sh*t out of that blouse?
She’s fly🙇🏾♀️😍
🤣 thee fax
Not anymore.
She's hot. She could make a burlap sack look good.
Yes.
I am so prone to being angry, even for simple things. I have mood swings like no other. It’s been tough to cope with and I thought I would grow out of it but I’m 31.
Me too! But I didn't used to be like this until I was with my ex husband almost 10 years ago, I don't know why now I'm like this and I can go from 0-100 in a snap for something stupid. I have such bad anger, depression, and anxiety ever since. I know it wasn't a good relationship situation and it changed me, but I feel so different than I used to, I just want to stop reacting so quickly, especially for my son. I don't want to be an angry mommy😔😢
Hoping to maybe get some pointers from anyone? I feel so alone in my struggle, even though I know I'm not the only one going thru this.😔
@@imagamerchick I am sorry you are experiencing this. Due to the accompanying anxiety and depression, is it possible for you to get professional help? I’ve done I do vidual counseling in the past and it was a healthy outlet with some guidance on coping skills.
@@egr3071 I should be able to get some kind of help, but my schedule makes it so hard to take care of my needs, I'm always so busy talking care of everyone else, but I need to make time for myself, I'm definitely feeling it x.x
If you are a woman, you'll finally grow out of it after menopause. It's very restful.
@@imagamerchick OMG that’s me exactly!!! I can drop something …… a feather …… and I lose my shit big time…… cussing, screaming ……tears ……etc. I never used to be this way …… I’m 54 and started getting this way about 5 years ago. Idk 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
This is by far the clearest explanation of this topic. Thank you!
I love your videos!! Thank you, Dr. Tracey!! You are so interesting and always deliver information well!! 💜
Thanks so much Lindsey! ❤️😊
I truly appreciate you and what you do!!
Especially how you do it..
You really give us the information in such a non judgements way, and with tons of empathy.. Whomever has had the privilege to work with you is so very fortunate.
I'm definitely neurotic and learning how to deal with it
It’s insane how good you are at explaining all of these topics in such a clear manner. Giving examples helps SO much because without them- a lot of this stuff can be very misleading if the person only reads the definition or word. I’m 43 and have borderline but I never really understood my neurosis that well until now!
Hello Dr. Tracey! Can you do a video on death anxiety?
Thanks for your request. I’ve saved it and added it to my list
Yes! I echo this request. Death anxiety has been crippling for me lately. Not sure what is triggering it - would love to hear your expertise, Dr. Tracey.
Yes please. I lost an uncle a month ago. I came to terms with his loss and all. However, a month later, I think it brought up all the death stuff for me. I've been feeling a bit apathetic. I was with a friend today and he was discussing about our great future plans of excelling in our careers and finding great partners. My response was "We're all going to die after all that and be forgotten"
That's when it hit me that I'm really not in a good place. I'm preparing for exams for which I usually enjoy studying, but the thought of it won't matter coz we are going to die lingers. Please help.
Yes would also love a video on this. Thank you
Extremely well explained, and shows the polar opposites... the middle ground and mindfulness is what DBT for BPD has begun to teach me.
I try to keep a more positive mindset, but being in a negative place makes it tough. I have always wanted to take Psychology, but have been told I can't because my math is weak, I still try though. Thank you for this video, I hope you know how much you are appreciated for what you share here.
❤❤❤
Honestly, i had no idea why i cried so easily back then (and even now)
Even though i was just getting teased, i just can't stop myself from crying
And when there's a problem i can't solve easily, i tend to get really frustrated and then again, cry
And i just found out about neuroticism today thanks to this channel
Thanks so much for uploading this or else i would've been so lost on why am i like this
Last week I was wondering if I would have been labeled Neurotic instead of autistic had I been seen decades ago. This video popped up in my feed today, and I am grateful for your informative answers!
Wow! Just wow! I live how you are confident in your space, fully at home with the knowledge and deliver with such conviction.
This is endearing and it's beautiful to watch 🎉
“Someone who is typically calm can become nervous and upset under certain circumstances, like being isolated in a pandemic.”
Me to a T!
I always (lol) use should, would, will in my speech. Really helped me to identify my neurosis on the depression end of the spectrum. Very informative and thought provoking videos.
Thank you for the video! Your explanations are very clear and precise!
This video helped me understand my issues completely! Thank you!
Thank you for this video, it's so educational! I love your example of the fine glass vs stone, I feel like I have neurotic tendencies and it helps knowing that all this self solve I've been trying to give myself is actually something I should continue practicing.
Much appreciated, Dr. Marks. Well done and professional. I have struggled with these problems since childhood, that's about 60 years. I find your presentations to be of great help.
Are you borderline? Well yes! In every way possible. BPD, and every other way to be on the verge of something, never really quite commiting to anything, and unable to move. Thanks life.
I've been stuck for a minute now
ambivalence. yep. me too.
Nothing is fair. However one is brave for seeking to learn and grow in one's own terms, and one should be proud of themselves because of this.
@@pauloperes9378 💛
...drifting along in that netherland between neurosis and psychosis...
Dr. Tracey, your videos are *so* insightful and inspirational! Huge thank you for spreading this information in such an easily digestible way!
Great job, with extremely clear and useful contents. Thanks a million for sharing and keep on the good work!
I am very sceptical about psychiatry in general. I have what many would call 'negative view on the world', though since I have rational basis under my views I'm pretty much ok with them. but for some reason I find the calm speech of this beautiful well-spoken lady very soothing and comforting. thank you for your videos. cheers from Russia
Thank you for the specific and detailed definitions of this term. This is very informative and helpful.
OCEAN with a whales tale sticking out the water comes to mind here. Thanks for the opportunity here! Terrill TC!
We did the big five personality test in college and I raised my hand to ask what it means when you score off the chart on neuroticism and my friends just looked at me and laughed. XD
Appreciate your clear, articulate, concise explanation! High quality videos.
My family would often make fun of me for these traits 🙃
Fantastic presentation! Easy to follow and understand. You are so valued.
Hey, Dr. Marks I just came across your videos and I think you are such a breath of fresh air. You have really informative and helpful videos that shine a bright light on Mental Health. We all appreciate it immensely. I was wondering and hoping if you can make a video on Orthorexia. I started eating healthy about 7 years ago. Not for weight loss but, more for eating non processed foods and becoming vegan. It has consumed my entire life. *Pun not intended lol It affects my family, friends, and even potential relationships. I say that I don't care what others eat because I'm not them. But slowly over time, I feel like I put myself on a pedestal. I genuinely enjoy eating healthy when I have what I need. I live with my family and when my specific foods run low. I begin to feel trapped as if I'm surrounded by poisonous foods. It hurts me to always turn down my mother's cooking. And others get annoyed about my extremely strict diet. It's so bad that I will throw the given food over my shoulder when nobody is looking. I refuse to eat anything without reading the label first. I also avoided going out to restaurants. And it hinders my judgment on potential partners because I can't see myself with someone who is not similar to my specific lifestyle. Sometimes I starve myself if there are no options for me. It started with eliminating dairy/meats and it now has evolved into gluten-free, sugar-free, no artificial anything, and no alcohol. I feel like I painted myself into a corner. But at the same time, I can't see myself compromising because I do enjoy eating healthy. This leads to anxiety and hopelessness. If you could please shine some light on this topic with your phenomenal mental health superpowers I would be forever grateful. I promise I will take notes and do the homework.
My mom has always been neurotic, worrying about a lot of different things, and constantly being upset, she raised me well though, like an overprotective mom, but she was a good, very responsible mom, but now she is going through a cancer, in the last stage, and her mind is going everywhere, she is much more neurotic than before, all the time anxious, worrying so much about a lot of things, stressing about what is going to happen with me, and my dad when she is gone. Is heart breaking, all we want is her to rest, and be relax in her last moments, but her mind is all the time anxious, I swear, all she talks to me are stressing things (debts, problems, conflicts, bad things in the world), but when the therapist come home, she doesn't tell her nothing 🤦🏻♀️just talk about how our dogs are like baby's to her, or the new coffee the bought...
I'm glad I found Dr. Traceys channel she's so professional and unbiased towards the mentally ill.
Wow I just found you. You're quickly becoming a blessing
Her videos are amazing.
The best explanation of neuroticism I've come across.
This is real self-growth. It should be a must to learn psychology
Therapy and counseling are better since not everyone can study for many years.
Thank you. Now I realize where I'm at, what condition I actually have. I already figured out the reasons why. It's a never ending irony actually as one primary reason. I also now understand more of why I never get a real diagnosis. Neurotic I am however, no doubt. I did not know that before I saw this, so I'm basing that on your information, and explanations. Now I understand it and also feel better about it, thank you. The OCEAN breakdown and diagnostic explanation is really sensible.
I’m on the high end. I wonder how much ptsd plays a role
Huge roll
This pretty highly neurotic person is so glad to have found your channel! 😀🙌 so much useful information
Hi Dr Tracey I'd like to make the point (re what you say at 3:38) that not everyone who's emotionally reactive is emotionally open. I've known enough moody people who aren't that easy to read. You know they're in a mood, but you don't know who or what they're happy or unhappy with (usually it's unhappy, and v often they don't want to say). So even though their emotions are nearer to surface, they can be just as hard to read meaningfully as someone who's a complete cold fish. That's just my experience!
True. Yet if Dr. Marks did not keep it somewhat general, her video could go on for an hour or more. I feel being general is fair.
I feel you though! I wish Dr. Marks could make more videos too. Yet, I feel that 1 a week is fair. She has to live her life too. I heard from other RUclipsrs that there is a need to separate their home and business life from RUclips life. I guess too much of anything can be bad. Peace!
@Zaden Zane Yes you're right. Being emotionally reactive doesn't mean you're more open than others. I was illustrating the opposite point that being emotionally reactive doesn't always have to be a negative thing and there are some benefits. @NoThruTraffic thanks for wanting more but realizing I have to set limits. As much as I enjoy making content, I can still scramble at times to make sure I don't miss a week. I don't know how people are putting out unique content daily or several times a week. I haven't let go of my practice so that's where most of my time goes. 🙂
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you, I listened again and I take your point.
Your videos are great, Dr Tracey!
Thank you for your segment of international classifacations. 💌
Not many people discuss the progression of the DSM in it's various stages and too often view it as a concrete referance. 💢
Thank you for representing the progression.
Extroversion: “It’s like being plugged into a charging station”. Yes, and it’s the introverts being drained of energy /sucking the life out of them 🤣
Yep :/
Yes
Yes
@• ᴗ exactly I love being alone I create my best work that way
In every comment section even vaguely relating to psychology, there's gonna be a thread shitting on extroversion.
This video was very informative and soothing at the same time. Thank you
What I remember most about neurosis was back in the 1980s and 90s if you looked up mental health in a library book you'd very often get a preamble delineating "neurosis" and "psychosis" as if these were mutually exclusive things. You were either one or the other. Depression for example was often listed twice in abnormal psychology books, once as a reactive neurosis and again as an endogenous condition that can tip into psychosis at the extreme. Then I find out years later that it's quite common for people with psychotic illness to have symptoms considered "neurotic"― a person with paranoid delusions might have obsessions and compulsions; someone with severe bipolar disorder might have panic attacks. But the way those old books told it, you were either one or the other. Very misleading! So I'm not surprised they dropped the term.
When you look up "neurotic" on the internet, you get my picture.
Thank you, Dr. Marks, for always trying to make hard concepts understandable, and helping others!
I Didn’t Know Bein’ Neurotic Wasn’t A Bad Thing.
Feminist are high in neuroticism and why they hate stoic masculinity
And yes “ boys don’t cry” is a healthy thing to say to young boys because it eliminates neuroticism and promotes stoicism
@@CP-ig7mj 😐😕
@@CP-ig7mj please don't have kids, don't go near kids. Neuroticism is a personality trait, and therefore genetically ingrained, one can't 'eliminate' it. I'm sure you want to help but you're not educated and you'll hurt people
Dr Tracey. Thank you again for your videos, you share so much and bring to light important topics. I really enjoy watching, huge fan!
Ok. She is my newest guru!!! ...plus I love the BLACK Girl Magic she serve with her natural hair🤩
Yes..sigh...I am "fine china" and so were my foremothers and the generational trait goes back and back(I'm assuming) My mom was, for certain.
In the her final chapters and fairly recent wake of my mother's death, I managed to gain compassion for what her mental life was like and no longer assign blame. The biggest and most coveted gift to me from this was developing compassion towards her. It was not forced, but prayed for (w/doubts about ever reaching it) bcuz I felt so cold and helpless. My prayer was answered. I know this means that I have developed some compassion for myself but this trait is still a work in progress.
Alot of time was wasted fighting. Mental illness is not something you can argue and fight with. I miss her despite this as well as mourning the relationship we might have had even tho' it's only a "fantastic notion."
This may be the best explanation of the big 5 with examples yet, Dr. Marks!
Thankyou
I think the big 5 personality traits might not be as accurate for people with PTSD/Complex PTSD. How much of our PTSD symptoms are a part of our personality?
I was just thinking this. When my anxiety / depression is in remission, my personality really flourishes / changes, whereas when I’m struggling, I find myself more on the less-conscientiousness, more neurotic scale. I understand that the point of neuroticism is that I’m more naturally susceptible to those things, but considering PTSD is unnatural, it doesn’t seem right.
This was refreshing, I clicked out of curiosity but subscribed for thirst of knowledge
I work in a high stress job, IT administrator. Most mornings, I wake up with an uneasy, anxious feeling. I am definitely neurotic. I take Gabapentin, Lamotrigine, and as needed, Ativan. I have run the gamut trying to control my depression and anxiety. If it were not for medication, I would be a basket case or worse.
@Joni Jones it has a calming effect. It helps my brain to not run wild, thinking of the overwhelming number of tasks that I have going on, and just dealing with one at a time.
Have you tried meditation? It’ll take a lot of effort and consistency. But it helps a lot if you commit to it
Meditation and mindfulness only work while you are doing it. But a soon as you stop. No more benefits. I tried for a long time.
Dr. Marks- thanks for this vid, and the link to the coping skills training. As a worrier, and a people pleaser, I can always use new tools to help me temper myself.
Love your videos, they help me a lot
Thank you Klara I’m glad to they help.
My ADHD is making me want to watch ALL of your videos now because I find all of this so fascinating. I’m going to limit myself because growth and whatnot lol 😅
Being neurotic, Autistic, and having MDD is no way to go through life. I can vouch for that. Learning about it all after you turn 50 feels like a life wasted.
The pandemic just tacked on another 18 months to 5 years of self-imposed isolation. It was odd to watch and hear people complaining about it.
The good news is that people like me don't live as long as normal people, and Wellbutrin helps with the activity of not caring all that much.
I'm 33 been isolating for as long as I can remember
I feel the same way a lot. Your life is not wasted. That is our illness trying to bring us down. Take care!
Please can you elaborate as to how wellbutrin makes you feel?
Take love.
@@Anthony-tw3oi same!
Super helpful!! I am highly neurotic. It is something I have been working on for years with myself and with mental health professionals but I am indeed highly neurotic. No one every explained this concept to me and I have some fun stuff to discuss at my next session so thank you for this breakdown. Even if my doctors and I decided this isnt true it great to have the language to be able to explore it with my doctor.
Is neuroticism engraved in our genes or can one work on ''taming'' neurotic traits to a degree that one would not be considered neurotic anymore?
In other words, is neuroticism set in stone or is it fluid and can change with, say, effort?
Not a expert: but she did mention coping skills. Unfortunately, the word “coping” tends to give off the impression that it is just a bandaid to something permanent, or something you will have to deal with for forever.
This is not true in my opinion. I think with a lot of introspection, and a lot of hard work towards good positive habits and skills, and a lot of mental training- one can improve their neuroticism.
There will be people who tell you it’s impossible, that it’s only fixed with medication, or that it’s too hard and you are too far gone- but those are the very opinions that poorly effected you and brought you down in the first place.
I think many mental and personality traits can be tamed, or pruned. Sometimes you need new perspective or a new environment. Sometimes you must look inward or to the past for answers. Sometimes you must relearn everything you know. Sometime the process is painful, confusing and seems long. But I believe anyone can become a better person if they try.
Yes yes you can, if you notice neuroticism effects people in different countries differently. In the usa neuroticism is high. You control your mind and your emotions at the end of the day.
@@caitchri2426 Everybody has to learn coping skills, even if they don't have a mental illness. It's how they get through life.
@@cellogirl11rw55 You misunderstood. I understand that coping skills are learned to get around tough situations, or handle everyday stresses. I understand that everyone uses coping mechanisms everyday. But in several situations, they are not a permanent solution. They are tools to use as you calm yourself, and re-train yourself to respond differently to stresses, situations ect ect.
@@matthewbelike if you can think you control your mind. You control your mind if your sentient.
Your cool. Like the quick no bs get to the point way you deliver on these subjects
Thank you, Dr. Tracey. These definitions are fantastic and much easier to understand than the typical explanations of personality traits. I like that there is little moral evaluation in your descriptions as implied moral evaluations can lead to stigmatization and ostracism. Everything has a reason and a function and aren't necessarily maladaptations to environmental or situation influence, but help is available when our responses and perceptions create more problems than they solve. ❤️
There is an old joke (no disrespect intended): neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them, and psychiatrists collect the rent. 😂🙏✌️
I recognise I can be neurotic , I can recognise the signs and take appropriate action .
I have learnt this because my inertia was burnt out .
Also because of serious gaslighting in many aspects of my life regarding finances , career etc .
Taking timeout out & getting to know my junk could I move forward .
I have many obstacles ahead , we are not alone feeling like this ✌️
Being neurotic is like seeing hidden messages. Someone says something but you don't realize it was a joke. Jokes are sometimes used for gaslighting. Someone wants to hurt you but masks it as a joke. Or uses the fact that you don't understand jokes against you.
Usually neuroticism is correct reaction to certain environments
Too many people see the shadows while missing the object. @@Siroitin
You look beautiful in that shirt Dr Tracey!
Right 🥵🥵
Thank you doctor for Narrating the last two weeks of my life
This is so interesting!
I’m glad mna mna 👍🏽
This is the best video on this subject I ever seen.