It took me 49 years to figure it out, but living alone is not depressing - it's liberating. No expectations to meet but your own, and no barriers to upward achievement. I too am an introvert - I love being social - but I'm ready to go home too. I feel EVERYTHING you just said. It's actually refreshing to hear someone your age to have this in-touch insight. After being burned 3 major times - I'm all done with "relationship attachments" other than deep friendships. Bravo, young lady! Carry on.
I think it depends on the individual. If you dont feel like you need that alone time, or that you need very little of it, then I could see living alone as being depressing. But for someone like me who needs their alone time and is stressed out by being social all the time, living alone is ideal. I could see someone getting depressed quickly living alone though if they're an extrovert and love being around people all the time.
I love living alone unfortunately I still at home with my sibs and parents, and I haven’t found anyone yet that fits my criteria of dating. And same I’ve always been alone and not dateable, I love hanging out with people, but after high school and college I gave up with meeting newbies for me.
este britt Yes, I'm 26 and been single all my life. I don't feel weird about it. It's the norm for me and I love being alone. No urge to be in a relationship.
I can not tell you how *"normal"* this video made me feel. I was considered the *"popular"* girl growing up and I hated it. I knew I was lying to myself. I truly enjoy being alone now and I never realized how different am I now to the point that I feel weird. Lol
Sandy Negron lol same! I was popular all the way until HS and then I just kind of retreated to myself. It’s nice when you find like minded people where you can chill with no expectations. :-)
A tip from an old guy... Mutual love is very hard to find... My definition of love is, when just being with that person can take you out of the realities of life, and just being with them is enough to make you happy... An personal example, we went on a camping trip, and a front came through turning it cold, wet, and the mosquitos were horrible... That was the best camping trip of my life... Just being together was more than enough to make us happy... Mutual true love is hard to find... Wait for it, it's worth it...
Back in the 70's there was a poster that said 'A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle'. And my Dad told me growing up 'choose someone you cannot live without, not simply someone you can live with'. He also said a man of value will love a strong confident educated woman. He was right. We introverts can get the best partners when we are least expecting one to come along (I was married 38 years before becoming a widow). And there is no shame in appreciating ones own quietness, or company. And I love being a California native, because this is such an open minded state, with such diversity, as well as a pro vegan mindset, that I think its easy live here.
My goal for 2018 is to be able to say that if I never marry or have children or a long-term partner, I'll still have a fulfilling and contented, purposeful life.
Dearest Caitlin, I love your honesty. And I know you’ve probably heard this a million times... but, you are still young and you have so much going for yourself. I didn’t get married until I was 35. I’m 40 now and I have to tell you that working on yourself is absolutely the first priority. I always did that and never settled! You’ve done everything right. My relationship is not based on any sacrifices. It’s a partnership. My husband is my number one fan and I his and we have each other’s backs and make our own choices 😊. Do you first and the person meant for you will come along when they come along. Much love! ❤️ enjoy your life!
Honestly, Valentine's Day is my absolute favorite holiday and everything you said is so true. I use valentines day to treat myself and show the people that i love in my appreciation. i send them cards and sometimes small gifts. I hate that valentines day has kinda created this sadness amongst people, like there are no requirements on how someone has to spend their valentines day. Living alone is amazing and it takes a lot of work getting to a place where you a truly okay with being alone or secure in your aloneness. Especially these days where people are in constant contact with other people so thanks for the uplifting message and sharing your past with us.
Tamirra Glover I feel the same way about Valentine's Day! I love showering others with love, so I use Valentine's Day to remind everyone how much they mean to me. I think it's because my parents always got me and my brother lil gifts on Valentine's Day, so I've always associated it with all kinds of love, not just romantic.
I’ve never commented on a video before but I’m so grateful that you posted this. I’m 21 and also an introvert. Lately I’ve been feeling down because I do everything by myself, and I see everyone else my age out with groups of people. This video is such a reminder that everyone is different, we are who we are.
I can so relate to you, I am a loner and I spend most of my time alone. I too could challenge myself to meet more people, but I pretty stuck in my routine. I just don't like large groups of people and I am home body. I do crave hugs from time to time!
kelly Denmeade same here! I've learnt to love it. I never fit in to groups, and would find myself left out anyway. Learnt to enjoy my own company and I'm so glad I did, pleased for you too!
i was such a extrovert before and somehow i became more introverted and i swear my parents question that, i litterly used to hangout with ppl every single day and now it’s like every other weekend but i am currently trying to just get to know myself more and learn who i am , you’re a very inspirational loveyou girl!!
Probably the most honest, brave, and real "talk" I've heard in a long time. It takes real guts to be this open and honest about this kind of a personal subject. True valuable insight. Great stuff here and a fantastic channel
I feel exactly the same way. My personality type is INTJ so it makes sense haha! I've never been in a relationship (I'm almost twenty), I don't want kids, I don't really have any desire to get married, I don't enjoy parties, I don't drink, etc. etc. So, that rules out quite a few college social gatherings right there. Regardless, my main new years resolution is to be more socially adventurous and say "yes" to more social gatherings.
Yes! I totally feel those inclinations as well, but it's also good to push yourself. As the famous quote goes, "Life begins outside of your comfort zone" ;) it's all about finding the right balance!
This video is awesome, I always try and teach my girls that you don’t need a boyfriend to feel complete. All her friends have boyfriends (she’s only 17) and they think she is weird for never having a boyfriend. She is just happy in herself and being by herself. I myself got my first boyfriend at 14, got married at 17, not we have 5 kids and have been married 19 years and I love him more than ever 😀
Yes, that is so true! Everyone is on their own life journey and some of us will find relationships and love sooner than others. All that matters is that you find someone who treats you right and that you are happy
I work with teens, and they were asking me how I felt about Valentines Day. I told them I preferred the Parks and Rec made holiday, Galentines Day better- where you celebrate your love for your 'gals" or friends on 2/13. And one of the teens who was anti-Valentines day lit up and was going on about how she wants to celebrate that this year and buy gifts for her friends to show how much she cares for them. You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to spread the love!
I love when people talk about being introverted - that's definitely me and I always stress that people think I'm boring or weird. So refreshing to hear you talk about this stuff!
Thank you so much for addressing this topic! I cannot tell you the incredible extent to which I relate to your experiences and outlook! I am twenty and have yet to be in a relationship which people often find strange, and it is so nice to hear that someone else understands the value of being alone and really knowing and loving yourself first. Our time will come!
Yes being introverted and recharging by yourself!!! I always do “weird” things by myself - going out to eat, going to the movies, traveling, etc. I’m thankful for my close and true friends rather than a big friend group who aren’t true. You’re such an inspiration to so many people and I’m so glad you’re speaking out against “norms” and setting a good example. As for relationships, as a person who was in abusive relationships, lived on my own, dated myself, and am now engaged (and getting married in 2 months!) I totally agree with all of the statements you have said. There is nothing wrong with being single!!
I’m 50 years old and I truly enjoy your videos. You’re a great and down to earth young lady who’s very aware of what’s important in life at your young age. It’s very refreshing. Keep up the good work. 👍🏽
It's really refreshing to hear strong, amazing women like yourself talk about this stuff. Genuine, eloquent and just spot on. Thank you Caitlin, from girls (and boys) everywhere x
You keep thinking that way! You don't need anyone else to be happy, because happiness comes from within. And you know, you can actually be more miserable in a relationship than not. Just be happy. Love will find you where you are.
I feel you girl, I'm an introvert person as well and I can't stand to be around loud crowds and people for too long. I have to charge myself too by being alone and meditating and just relaxing at home ❤
I went on study abroad to Toronto after a bad breakup and it was the best four months of my life! So nice to hear someone that has similar thoughts & feelings on relationships, thank you for making this video x
THANK YOU! This is exactly how I feel about being single!! I really appreciate the fact that you made this video and opened up to us! I relate so much 💞
UGH, THANK YOU CAITLIN. It's so nice to know someone else in the world shares the same exact thoughts and emotions! lol you go girl! Treat yourself well this single appreciation day ((:
That's such a good video!!! I feel just the same way and it's so nice to hear someone say "it's ok to be an introvert", "it's ok if you're not going out every night", "it's ok if you're not in a relationship"... And you're so calm and ok about it that it really makes me want to be even more ok about it ! You're great, thank you again :)
I am one of the people who is not extra or intraverted. I need people and can be alone, I get weird if I am more extraverted and I can't be with others, and also weird if I need me time. I have also had events in my past which helped me to not love myself, so that is what I am working on. Thank you for opening up about this. It took me too long to have faith that I could live alone, and now that I do, I love it. It sucks when I am ill, but other than that I recommend everyone live alone, find out who you are, and see where you go.
i’m the same way when i get home all i want to do is lay down and my parents think i’m just lazy but like you said it is really draining being around people
@Knowledge Reyes Two sides to a coin. Ultimately there is always a reason behind apparent laziness, because no one just WANTS to be lazy. So I think laziness is an appearance not a "truth", a facade that hides reasons that differ person to person. For some, the reason they look lazy is that they are drained by the energy they expend on activities like socializing. In the end, so long as u get what u gotta do done, who cares if u lie down in ur downtime
Yes, yes and yes to everything you said. You are very wise for such a young person. One of my favorite sayings "better to be alone than in bad company" comes to mind. And you don't "need" a man to be whole. Take your time. It will happen naturally. I enjoy your videos. From a 54 y.o. lady, married 18 years.
Caitlin, thank you SO MUCH for this video. I have found myself in many things you have mentioned and it gave me the feeling that I'm living my life the right way. I'm slowly moving to the period of life when it's common to be married or pregnant and social media do remind me of that (like you have said) and I'm becoming concerned about the questions that will certainly come in future. After almost 4 years without any relationship (which is in my friendcircle kind of unique) I finally feel that I can enjoy living my life. Of course, that it is not 100% perfect all the time, but here comes the part of your talk which I was completely identified with-that it's all about love and being loved and not about being/not being in the relationship. I'm really grateful for person like you, despite thousands of miles between us. :) Thank you for the courage to share your (not only personal) opinions and experiences with us.
I know this is a 4 month old video, but after feeling lonely lately, what you said has made me feel better. Through your videos, you have even inspired me to better myself more than I thought I already did. I’m 31 now, but hope that I still have time to make my life better.
I see myself so much in your story!!!! I have lots of friends but I do get really exhausted hanging out with a huge group of people. This so so inspiring for me to see that I am not alone.
I agree with every single thing you're saying ♥ All I can think of while watching is "omg same, saaaaame!!!" :D SO happy I'm not the only one thinking and choosing to live that way (for now) hahaha :D
This is coming at the perfect time, I have been having such a rough time with self love recently, and with a bit of a breakdown turned epiphany yesterday, this confidently independent talk is feeding my journey. thank you!!
I love these types of videos so much! Your recipe videos are amazing, but chats with Caitlin are my personal favorites. I’d love to hear you talk about self-love and how you overcame your insecurities.
I feel like growing up, we're raised to believe getting married is essential to life. You know: grow up, get a good job, get married and raise a family. You see it in the people you know, your so called role models and the media especially. The idea to find someone to spend your life with is in almost every movie/tv show/ song/ etc... So for years I believed finding my soulmate was something I HAD to accomplish. On top of getting that good job/career, to be accepted by society. When I realized I was actually happier being single and didn't need to be with someone, that feeling was so liberating! It's no longer one of my life's goals, not opposed to it. If it happens it happens, but no longer a priority. And I love that feeling! I'm free to be me now. Enjoy being single, you got plenty of time! :)
when you started talking about the quote and needing to "love yourself first", and that you were going through a hard time body image wise i couldn't help but find myself in the exact same position when i think back of my last relationship.. it ended 4 years ago and here i am, still by myself but feeling absolutely fine! Thanks for this awesome video!
Thank you Caitlin! I just got out of a relationship with a guy that I was really attached to but he ended up saying he was too afraid of getting attached to me since he moves around a lot. It completely destroyed me because I don’t typically open up to people and let people in, I too am shy and introverted. This video literally brought me to tears. I don’t usually comment on RUclips but I had to thank you!
I can relate so much and I can’t tell you how much it means to hear you say you’re happy being alone/single! Why should it be a stigma to be single? If you’re happy in your own company and having freedom what’s wrong with that. I’ve learnt so much about myself and done things for myself whilst being single and I’m so happy. Thank you for this, even though you didn’t have to explain yourself. 💕
Caitlin I highly recommend a book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. An awesome read that really helped bring to light things I have always known about myself in terms of my introversion. It also taught me how to channel it for my own benefit. Great video, thanks for sharing ☺️
I just watched this videos two times in a row 🙌🏾 it resonated a lot with me. I just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship that was really toxic and I’m taking some much needed time “to get back to myself”. Your video encouraged me to keep working on my self-care and healing journey and not rush into getting back into a relationship. I really appreciate this.
You put this video out at the best time! I just ended things with the person I was dating because I knew we were going in different directions. It's hard but you're so right about needing to love yourself wholeheartedly first before you can love anyone else.
I get it totally! I love my own company and I’ve been single for seven years now and love it! You don’t need a partner to fulfil your life! Also I have two close friends! That’s it! Keep the circle small that way less drama! Love this chat! Thank you for opening up to us! Xx
We are the same person. Thank you for voicing this 💕 I am a vegan college student who doesn’t love to go downtown every night and that is not the normal at my age. I’m am coming to terms with not caring what other people think, but then again I’m surrounded by them day in and out.
Fantastic video. I wish every girl who did not get invited to the prom could watch this. You are so emotionally healthy and such an inspiration to all of us...besides cooking great food. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this post. I too, am quite shy and introverted. I had a serious relationship end because the other person cheated on me (for YEARS and I didn't know). It's been almost four years since then and I am still single and live alone. I have a small, but mighty, group of friends + my cat (he is kind of my number one)! There is plenty of fulfillment in life, even for those of us who chose not to be in a relationship, or enjoy time spent solo. xoxo
it is just a few mounth ago that I realized that I can be super happy without a girlfriend. After my last relationship I was questioning myself the hole day how to get a new girl. I was unhappy the hole time. it is realy hard to find an inteligent, vegan girl. Now I'm just living the live that I would have loved to share with her and it also feels damn good. As you say: the time will come.
I didn't know you had studied here in Argentina, I'm from Buenos Aires and I would love to hear you talk about your experience, not only because you came here, but also because I would love to study abroad some day. So if you ever feel like it I think that story would make a cool video. Much love 💙
(At first sorry for my bad English...) But I wanted to say that finally a person on RUclips talks about the important things in life like love yourself and not anybody else instead... It‘s terrible when the society constantly pressures you with certain issues or the “why are you single?“ question... even my friends want to force me sometimes to go out more often on social events because a lot of people believe that life can‘t be great when you are alone... but that‘s the biggest lie ever and I am so glad that you made this video☺️ you are such a lovely young woman and besides your videos are amazing❤️
AMEN, I was single until I was 24 and everyone always asked weird questions about it. I just didn't want to settle for anything less than the right one and I had things I wanted to do for myself first. I now have a wonderful fiancé and we're getting married in October! I don't regret a minute of my single life. Do whatever feels right for you and forget the rest!
This was awesome. I think there’s definitely a balance to being independent and putting effort into learning how to be in a good relationship. Its something that I’ve been working on recently
Caitlin thank you so much for sharing this, especially since it's so personal and you are in no way obligated to do so. Recently I've been getting pretty down on myself because it seems like everyone around me and everyone on vegan youtube is in a relationship, but I've been coming into my own these past few years- due in large part because of lifestyle changes you've inspired me to take on (going vegan, daily yoga practice, etc). You are one of my role models in this community, which might be weird to say since you're only a year older than me :) Thanks again for sharing.
Great video. I related to this so much-I am an INFJ as well, and I get drained really quickly after interacting with large groups of people and would always rather do something one on one with someone over a huge group. I’ve never had a relationship and don’t want one for exactly the reasons you gave. I want to be in charge of my life and not have to change my goals and dreams for someone else. I am so sick of people asking me if I have a relationship yet and how people automatically assume it’s something everyone wants. One of the reasons I really like watching your channel is because you are single and independent and seem to really enjoy the life you’re living (not that I wouldn’t watch you if you were in a relationship :)). Anyway, thanks so much for sharing!
I totally get you, I love spending time with myself and trying to better myself. My love life has been kind of similar to yours, and I couldn't agree more with what you're saying! Being single is honestly pretty nice and less stressful in some ways! You gotta focus on yourself before someone else
I think it is wonderful that you made this video. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. No one NEEDs to be in a relationship & it makes me sad that there are folks out there thinking that it's not OK to be single. It can be very liberating! It doesn't have to be depressing. The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. I think when you find the right person, you both are willing to sacrifice and compromise to make it work. I've been with my husband since we were 17. Sometimes you just know. You're perfect just the way you are, with or without a man.
Love your authenticity. It's so refreshing! I've never had a serious relationship, and going on 21 years old, its hard not to feel like you need a boyfriend when everyone around you is dating. Sometimes I feel lonely but I keep telling myself, the right one will eventually come along. 💑
I can relate to this Video so much! I have had two relationships so far. Both of them were rather out of fear of being alone than genuine love, which is not only unfair to yourself, but also to the other Person. I have been single for almost three years now and have made the best out of it so far. I am working, exercising, trying new Things, spend time with friends, travelling... all without being concerned about a neglected boyfriend. Sometimes I wish I had "a someone" to come home to, but I am only 24, I think I have plenty of time for that. And as you said, our time will come. Everyone has their own path, everything will happen at the right time :)
Caitlin, thank you SO MUCH for this video. It encouraged me and made me happy to hear you say these things. I am single and have always been, but like you said, it's nice to live my life without having to check in with someone. With the nature of my job, that's a great thing. I can't wait to start traveling, which will happen soon. I won't have to check in with a soul; I can send family and friends messages so they know I'm okay... but since I don't live at home or with anyone, it's not a big deal if I decide to not come home after a work trip. I'm bummed about not having a pet because of my job, but that's what cat cafes are for. Long story short, thank you again for being your awesome self, and for making this video. Sometimes us single girls need to be reminded that there's nothing wrong with us, that we're worthy of love, and that our lives aren't weird or defective. We are where we need to be right now. #singlegirlsunite
I went through a similar situation that you had with your second relationship. I have now been single for 2 years and I have become so independent and much more happier. I love it. I have found so many new things about myself. 💖✨
I have been cheated on and it's the worst feeling ever. It definitely took me a few years to trust and open myself up to another person. It's great that you are comfortable on your own and you'll meet the right person who appreciates all of the great things about you.
since watching your videos, I've had such high esteem for you, and now watching this one, I have an even greater respect for you! You are an amazing person and I really appreciate your videos and your compassion. I am a Christian, and I must say, you are a God-send! This video came at literally the right time and the right day. This is exactly what I've been feeling all day, so thank you so much!!!
YES to everything! I honestly think that if I didn't work from home and was alone all day I couldn't be in a relationship right now, I just can't bear the thought of being around people all the time, it's so exhausting!
Omg introvert here!! I love going out with friends but I hate getting ready and walking out the door. I have a huge family so when we get together for a day or two the next days I need to be alone in my room lol
You are absolutely right. You shouldn't be in a relationship just to be in a relationship and you shouldn't give up life experiences just so you can have someone. I gave up studying abroad too...for an abusive ex boyfriend. Totally not worth it. You live and you learn, I guess.
Nancy Plants aghhh tell me about it! I stopped studying so i could move to another country for my ex, turns out he was cheating the whole time and i had to cancel all plans.
Caitlin, I could not believe how much what you were saying speaks and relates to me. Honestly. This is my current life. Icky cheater ex-boyfriend - been there. Introvert - yes. Being comfortable in my own company - very much so. Not actively looking for anyone and not willing to settle for anything less than what I deserve - yes and yes.
I'm not single anymore but i totally relate! I love being alone, i love my own company 😝 It can be refreshing to step out of the box and go out and socialise with new people, but i always need time to recharge on my own lol.
LOVE when women realize they don't need to be in a relationship to feel validated! There is a huge need to connect with others, but not a need to be attached. Love yourself, love others, and don't settle! You said it well, Lady!
Great piece Caitlin! Wish more young women would listen to this & take note. Took me 55 years to get to the place you are today, finally enjoying my own company, and activities solo just as much as with friends. Not needing a man but desiring a relationship with acceptance that if it isn’t meant to be, so be it. Too many people or intense folks really zap me as well & find myself needing to come home & get grounded with yoga or meditation. Before bed & work day like to “download” with Netflix or Words with Friends then do some journaling or mediation before sleep. Affirmations in the morning. Realize we are not all the same but imagine a society if woman didn’t spend their whole life needing a man to be complete but instead truly got to know & love themselves first, spend time alone too then choose to be with the right partner - share a life growing together instead of conforming to expectations. Or not, and choosing a fullfulling & content single life too? I wonder how much less divorce their might be? Less depression, anxiety & self doubt? Higher self esteem & better partnerships? Food for thought.. vegan style ;) Thank you being transparent & for sharing
I understand you completely and feel identified! Practising self-love and becoming the person you desire it is the best thing in your early twenties! Cheers from Spain
Girl good for you! It’s not worth wasting time, emotions and dealing with heartbreak to be with someone you’re not attracted to or feel like you have to put so much effort towards or whatever. You do you! 👌🏻
I can relate to SO much of this. I have chosen to remain single these last four years because I needed at least two of them to 'reset' after the last one. The last few years is more a matter of having higher standards 'post reset'. I'm very happy alone and could remain that way as long as it takes to find someone who is first and foremost a best friend. I agree with you that there are pros and cons to relationships, and that at the same time, being alone forever isn't 'natural' or good forever. It is important to be that way as long as it takes until you meet someone that you have to make very few 'compromises' for, if those compromises simply feel unnatural. As cliche as it sounds, you do have to love yourself first. I do now, so the passing time very rarely makes me feel anxious like it used to. Quality is worth waiting for.
Just wanted to say that I relate SO MUCH to your introvert-ness. I'm the same way about needing me-time to recharge...and exploring on your own can definitely be super fun and freeing!
I JUST did a video about something similar (about being happy while on a frugal budget) because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being alone and people seem to think you need to be around people to be happy. I prefer to be alone, at home, instead of going out. I have a few friends and that's it. I can totally relate to being drained after being around people.
yess girl!!!! I think its soo important to know ur worth & know that u deserve someone who loves u fully & respects u & not just date anyone just because, so tru
i just moved into my first apartment and am living alone, but I also just got into my first relationship ever (I'm 21 now), and I am very glad I am living alone now because as much as I love my friends and boyfriend I desperately need time alone to recoup. I feel like I'm on the go all the time now and this new relationship is putting me in situations with unfamiliar people all the time and being a shy introverted individual makes that time alone SO important and I cherish it way more than I did when I was single.
It took me 49 years to figure it out, but living alone is not depressing - it's liberating. No expectations to meet but your own, and no barriers to upward achievement. I too am an introvert - I love being social - but I'm ready to go home too. I feel EVERYTHING you just said. It's actually refreshing to hear someone your age to have this in-touch insight. After being burned 3 major times - I'm all done with "relationship attachments" other than deep friendships. Bravo, young lady! Carry on.
Thank you Carry! I'm glad you've found your own happiness too :)
(Cathy) LOL | Let me know if you are the one I need to thank for all things good last week. You're the only YT Cait I know.
I think it depends on the individual. If you dont feel like you need that alone time, or that you need very little of it, then I could see living alone as being depressing. But for someone like me who needs their alone time and is stressed out by being social all the time, living alone is ideal. I could see someone getting depressed quickly living alone though if they're an extrovert and love being around people all the time.
I LOVED LIVING ALONE. I lived alone for 5 years, it was the best. Ill be your boo
Omg I feel like I would LOVE it too 😏 and awww thanks girl! I am seeing you on Valentine's Day after all 😘
im so excited to seeee you again
green machine They did netflix and chill
I love living alone unfortunately I still at home with my sibs and parents, and I haven’t found anyone yet that fits my criteria of dating. And same I’ve always been alone and not dateable, I love hanging out with people, but after high school and college I gave up with meeting newbies for me.
I'm 23 and have been single for 23 years. I love it. Go do you, girl. 💁🏻
este britt dude, stay that way. Wish I would have held strong haha its better to wait
este britt so refreshing to read comments like yours! I'm 19 and also have never been in a relationship👐🏼
I'm 25 and never been in a relationship too. But I would like to try, I feel lonely sometimes. It's hard to find someone right, tho.
este britt Yes, I'm 26 and been single all my life. I don't feel weird about it. It's the norm for me and I love being alone. No urge to be in a relationship.
Diane Pearl do what you love to do and maybe you'll meet someone along the way who loves the same things!
I can not tell you how *"normal"* this video made me feel. I was considered the *"popular"* girl growing up and I hated it. I knew I was lying to myself. I truly enjoy being alone now and I never realized how different am I now to the point that I feel weird. Lol
Sandy Negron lol same! I was popular all the way until HS and then I just kind of retreated to myself. It’s nice when you find like minded people where you can chill with no expectations. :-)
Celeste Caguana seriously couldnt have said it better myself: *chill with no expectations. Just enjoying each others company*
same here! thank you!
A tip from an old guy... Mutual love is very hard to find... My definition of love is, when just being with that person can take you out of the realities of life, and just being with them is enough to make you happy... An personal example, we went on a camping trip, and a front came through turning it cold, wet, and the mosquitos were horrible... That was the best camping trip of my life... Just being together was more than enough to make us happy... Mutual true love is hard to find... Wait for it, it's worth it...
Awww... that's so sweet. I hope someone loves me as much as you love the one you love 😭😭😭
This is so sweet and I hope someday I can finally experience it 😭
I’m the same way too. I can’t handle people for long periods of time lol
sara turner lol same
Itasha Dutt same lol
Amanda Fuschak lol same
I feel you on soo many levels
Same euh lol
I always feel that you're such a grounded person and Ireally value that about you!
Back in the 70's there was a poster that said 'A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle'. And my Dad told me growing up 'choose someone you cannot live without, not simply someone you can live with'. He also said a man of value will love a strong confident educated woman. He was right.
We introverts can get the best partners when we are least expecting one to come along (I was married 38 years before becoming a widow). And there is no shame in appreciating ones own quietness, or company.
And I love being a California native, because this is such an open minded state, with such diversity, as well as a pro vegan mindset, that I think its easy live here.
intelligent, level headed plant based beauty - your an absolute catch!
My goal for 2018 is to be able to say that if I never marry or have children or a long-term partner, I'll still have a fulfilling and contented, purposeful life.
Eve Lister that is pretty cool actually, I hope you succeed
Oooh yass queen! Amen!
Dearest Caitlin, I love your honesty. And I know you’ve probably heard this a million times... but, you are still young and you have so much going for yourself. I didn’t get married until I was 35. I’m 40 now and I have to tell you that working on yourself is absolutely the first priority. I always did that and never settled! You’ve done everything right. My relationship is not based on any sacrifices. It’s a partnership. My husband is my number one fan and I his and we have each other’s backs and make our own choices 😊. Do you first and the person meant for you will come along when they come along. Much love! ❤️ enjoy your life!
Honestly, Valentine's Day is my absolute favorite holiday and everything you said is so true. I use valentines day to treat myself and show the people that i love in my appreciation. i send them cards and sometimes small gifts. I hate that valentines day has kinda created this sadness amongst people, like there are no requirements on how someone has to spend their valentines day. Living alone is amazing and it takes a lot of work getting to a place where you a truly okay with being alone or secure in your aloneness. Especially these days where people are in constant contact with other people so thanks for the uplifting message and sharing your past with us.
Tamirra Glover This 🙌🏾 . You worded this perfectly
Tamirra Glover I feel the same way about Valentine's Day! I love showering others with love, so I use Valentine's Day to remind everyone how much they mean to me. I think it's because my parents always got me and my brother lil gifts on Valentine's Day, so I've always associated it with all kinds of love, not just romantic.
I’ve never commented on a video before but I’m so grateful that you posted this. I’m 21 and also an introvert. Lately I’ve been feeling down because I do everything by myself, and I see everyone else my age out with groups of people. This video is such a reminder that everyone is different, we are who we are.
I can so relate to you, I am a loner and I spend most of my time alone. I too could challenge myself to meet more people, but I pretty stuck in my routine. I just don't like large groups of people and I am home body. I do crave hugs from time to time!
kelly Denmeade same here! I've learnt to love it. I never fit in to groups, and would find myself left out anyway. Learnt to enjoy my own company and I'm so glad I did, pleased for you too!
i was such a extrovert before and somehow i became more introverted and i swear my parents question that, i litterly used to hangout with ppl every single day and now it’s like every other weekend but i am currently trying to just get to know myself more and learn who i am , you’re a very inspirational loveyou girl!!
Probably the most honest, brave, and real "talk" I've heard in a long time. It takes real guts to be this open and honest about this kind of a personal subject. True valuable insight. Great stuff here and a fantastic channel
you're a huge catch for sure
You are such a sweet person and have a very calm and comforting personality. Thanks for this video. Much love from Germany 😘
I feel exactly the same way. My personality type is INTJ so it makes sense haha! I've never been in a relationship (I'm almost twenty), I don't want kids, I don't really have any desire to get married, I don't enjoy parties, I don't drink, etc. etc. So, that rules out quite a few college social gatherings right there. Regardless, my main new years resolution is to be more socially adventurous and say "yes" to more social gatherings.
Yes! I totally feel those inclinations as well, but it's also good to push yourself. As the famous quote goes, "Life begins outside of your comfort zone" ;) it's all about finding the right balance!
Did I write this comment? Haha
😊💕
Remy Elysee relate 100%
This comment is me in a paragraph. And I am here for it!
Introverts! I was at a superbowl party yesterday and I can totally relate! I'm just now recouping. :) alone time
I always watch the Superbowl alone for that reason and I can't deal with people distracting me either because I actually follow the game too. lol
Wow this came out a year ago and now you’re in a relationship! Life is so full of surprises man :) happy for you
This video is awesome, I always try and teach my girls that you don’t need a boyfriend to feel complete. All her friends have boyfriends (she’s only 17) and they think she is weird for never having a boyfriend. She is just happy in herself and being by herself. I myself got my first boyfriend at 14, got married at 17, not we have 5 kids and have been married 19 years and I love him more than ever 😀
Yes, that is so true! Everyone is on their own life journey and some of us will find relationships and love sooner than others. All that matters is that you find someone who treats you right and that you are happy
This insight into your life was such a treat. It sounds like you really know yourself.
I work with teens, and they were asking me how I felt about Valentines Day. I told them I preferred the Parks and Rec made holiday, Galentines Day better- where you celebrate your love for your 'gals" or friends on 2/13. And one of the teens who was anti-Valentines day lit up and was going on about how she wants to celebrate that this year and buy gifts for her friends to show how much she cares for them.
You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to spread the love!
Yaass girl ❤️ we need to appreciate love. But never forget to appreciate ourselves too 🙏
FOR SURE!
4:50 that casual scissor raise 😂
LMAO i was playing with them and was like oops i need to stop. I def talk with my hands!
HAHA omg yes!
I love when people talk about being introverted - that's definitely me and I always stress that people think I'm boring or weird. So refreshing to hear you talk about this stuff!
I'm glad you could relate!
Thank you so much for addressing this topic! I cannot tell you the incredible extent to which I relate to your experiences and outlook! I am twenty and have yet to be in a relationship which people often find strange, and it is so nice to hear that someone else understands the value of being alone and really knowing and loving yourself first. Our time will come!
Yes being introverted and recharging by yourself!!! I always do “weird” things by myself - going out to eat, going to the movies, traveling, etc. I’m thankful for my close and true friends rather than a big friend group who aren’t true. You’re such an inspiration to so many people and I’m so glad you’re speaking out against “norms” and setting a good example. As for relationships, as a person who was in abusive relationships, lived on my own, dated myself, and am now engaged (and getting married in 2 months!) I totally agree with all of the statements you have said. There is nothing wrong with being single!!
I’m 50 years old and I truly enjoy your videos. You’re a great and down to earth young lady who’s very aware of what’s important in life at your young age. It’s very refreshing. Keep up the good work. 👍🏽
It's really refreshing to hear strong, amazing women like yourself talk about this stuff. Genuine, eloquent and just spot on. Thank you Caitlin, from girls (and boys) everywhere x
You keep thinking that way! You don't need anyone else to be happy, because happiness comes from within. And you know, you can actually be more miserable in a relationship than not. Just be happy. Love will find you where you are.
I feel you girl, I'm an introvert person as well and I can't stand to be around loud crowds and people for too long. I have to charge myself too by being alone and meditating and just relaxing at home ❤
I went on study abroad to Toronto after a bad breakup and it was the best four months of my life! So nice to hear someone that has similar thoughts & feelings on relationships, thank you for making this video x
THANK YOU! This is exactly how I feel about being single!! I really appreciate the fact that you made this video and opened up to us! I relate so much 💞
Girl I needed this video right now. I just got out of a bad relationship of 3 years and figuring out single is a big change. Thanks for posting this💚
UGH, THANK YOU CAITLIN. It's so nice to know someone else in the world shares the same exact thoughts and emotions! lol you go girl! Treat yourself well this single appreciation day ((:
That's such a good video!!! I feel just the same way and it's so nice to hear someone say "it's ok to be an introvert", "it's ok if you're not going out every night", "it's ok if you're not in a relationship"... And you're so calm and ok about it that it really makes me want to be even more ok about it ! You're great, thank you again :)
Next chat with Caitlin: favorite supplements, super-foods, and/or adaptogens.
ooh! nice idea
I am one of the people who is not extra or intraverted. I need people and can be alone, I get weird if I am more extraverted and I can't be with others, and also weird if I need me time. I have also had events in my past which helped me to not love myself, so that is what I am working on. Thank you for opening up about this. It took me too long to have faith that I could live alone, and now that I do, I love it. It sucks when I am ill, but other than that I recommend everyone live alone, find out who you are, and see where you go.
i’m the same way when i get home all i want to do is lay down and my parents think i’m just lazy but like you said it is really draining being around people
@Knowledge Reyes Two sides to a coin. Ultimately there is always a reason behind apparent laziness, because no one just WANTS to be lazy. So I think laziness is an appearance not a "truth", a facade that hides reasons that differ person to person. For some, the reason they look lazy is that they are drained by the energy they expend on activities like socializing. In the end, so long as u get what u gotta do done, who cares if u lie down in ur downtime
Yes, yes and yes to everything you said. You are very wise for such a young person. One of my favorite sayings "better to be alone than in bad company" comes to mind. And you don't "need" a man to be whole. Take your time. It will happen naturally. I enjoy your videos. From a 54 y.o. lady, married 18 years.
Caitlin, thank you SO MUCH for this video. I have found myself in many things you have mentioned and it gave me the feeling that I'm living my life the right way. I'm slowly moving to the period of life when it's common to be married or pregnant and social media do remind me of that (like you have said) and I'm becoming concerned about the questions that will certainly come in future. After almost 4 years without any relationship (which is in my friendcircle kind of unique) I finally feel that I can enjoy living my life. Of course, that it is not 100% perfect all the time, but here comes the part of your talk which I was completely identified with-that it's all about love and being loved and not about being/not being in the relationship. I'm really grateful for person like you, despite thousands of miles between us. :) Thank you for the courage to share your (not only personal) opinions and experiences with us.
I know this is a 4 month old video, but after feeling lonely lately, what you said has made me feel better. Through your videos, you have even inspired me to better myself more than I thought I already did. I’m 31 now, but hope that I still have time to make my life better.
I see myself so much in your story!!!! I have lots of friends but I do get really exhausted hanging out with a huge group of people. This so so inspiring for me to see that I am not alone.
I agree with every single thing you're saying ♥ All I can think of while watching is "omg same, saaaaame!!!" :D SO happy I'm not the only one thinking and choosing to live that way (for now) hahaha :D
Been alone for years. It's actually really great. Spend most of my time on long walks enjoying life around.
You sound like an empath or highly sensitive person. Those types tend to have thin boundaries and exhaust easily.
Yes, I definitely am!
That's me too🙋🏼🙅🏼
Sooo true
me af
I'm also like that. :)
This is coming at the perfect time, I have been having such a rough time with self love recently, and with a bit of a breakdown turned epiphany yesterday, this confidently independent talk is feeding my journey. thank you!!
Caitlin your skin is GLOWING omg
I love these types of videos so much! Your recipe videos are amazing, but chats with Caitlin are my personal favorites. I’d love to hear you talk about self-love and how you overcame your insecurities.
I feel like growing up, we're raised to believe getting married is essential to life. You know: grow up, get a good job, get married and raise a family. You see it in the people you know, your so called role models and the media especially. The idea to find someone to spend your life with is in almost every movie/tv show/ song/ etc...
So for years I believed finding my soulmate was something I HAD to accomplish. On top of getting that good job/career, to be accepted by society. When I realized I was actually happier being single and didn't need to be with someone, that feeling was so liberating! It's no longer one of my life's goals, not opposed to it. If it happens it happens, but no longer a priority. And I love that feeling! I'm free to be me now.
Enjoy being single, you got plenty of time! :)
when you started talking about the quote and needing to "love yourself first", and that you were going through a hard time body image wise i couldn't help but find myself in the exact same position when i think back of my last relationship.. it ended 4 years ago and here i am, still by myself but feeling absolutely fine! Thanks for this awesome video!
Thank you Caitlin! I just got out of a relationship with a guy that I was really attached to but he ended up saying he was too afraid of getting attached to me since he moves around a lot. It completely destroyed me because I don’t typically open up to people and let people in, I too am shy and introverted. This video literally brought me to tears. I don’t usually comment on RUclips but I had to thank you!
I can relate so much and I can’t tell you how much it means to hear you say you’re happy being alone/single! Why should it be a stigma to be single? If you’re happy in your own company and having freedom what’s wrong with that. I’ve learnt so much about myself and done things for myself whilst being single and I’m so happy. Thank you for this, even though you didn’t have to explain yourself. 💕
Caitlin I highly recommend a book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. An awesome read that really helped bring to light things I have always known about myself in terms of my introversion. It also taught me how to channel it for my own benefit. Great video, thanks for sharing ☺️
I just watched this videos two times in a row 🙌🏾 it resonated a lot with me. I just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship that was really toxic and I’m taking some much needed time “to get back to myself”. Your video encouraged me to keep working on my self-care and healing journey and not rush into getting back into a relationship. I really appreciate this.
You put this video out at the best time! I just ended things with the person I was dating because I knew we were going in different directions. It's hard but you're so right about needing to love yourself wholeheartedly first before you can love anyone else.
I get it totally! I love my own company and I’ve been single for seven years now and love it! You don’t need a partner to fulfil your life! Also I have two close friends! That’s it! Keep the circle small that way less drama! Love this chat! Thank you for opening up to us! Xx
Thanks Kristi! Sounds like you're rockin the single life in style too ;)
We are the same person. Thank you for voicing this 💕 I am a vegan college student who doesn’t love to go downtown every night and that is not the normal at my age. I’m am coming to terms with not caring what other people think, but then again I’m surrounded by them day in and out.
Fantastic video. I wish every girl who did not get invited to the prom could watch this. You are so emotionally healthy and such an inspiration to all of us...besides cooking great food. Thank you.
thank you
Thank you for sharing this post. I too, am quite shy and introverted. I had a serious relationship end because the other person cheated on me (for YEARS and I didn't know). It's been almost four years since then and I am still single and live alone. I have a small, but mighty, group of friends + my cat (he is kind of my number one)! There is plenty of fulfillment in life, even for those of us who chose not to be in a relationship, or enjoy time spent solo. xoxo
it is just a few mounth ago that I realized that I can be super happy without a girlfriend. After my last relationship I was questioning myself the hole day how to get a new girl. I was unhappy the hole time. it is realy hard to find an inteligent, vegan girl. Now I'm just living the live that I would have loved to share with her and it also feels damn good. As you say: the time will come.
I didn't know you had studied here in Argentina, I'm from Buenos Aires and I would love to hear you talk about your experience, not only because you came here, but also because I would love to study abroad some day. So if you ever feel like it I think that story would make a cool video. Much love 💙
yes, I loved it! I can definitely talk more about it
(At first sorry for my bad English...)
But I wanted to say that finally a person on RUclips talks about the important things in life like love yourself and not anybody else instead...
It‘s terrible when the society constantly pressures you with certain issues or the “why are you single?“ question... even my friends want to force me sometimes to go out more often on social events because a lot of people believe that life can‘t be great when you are alone... but that‘s the biggest lie ever and I am so glad that you made this video☺️
you are such a lovely young woman and besides your videos are amazing❤️
AMEN, I was single until I was 24 and everyone always asked weird questions about it. I just didn't want to settle for anything less than the right one and I had things I wanted to do for myself first. I now have a wonderful fiancé and we're getting married in October! I don't regret a minute of my single life. Do whatever feels right for you and forget the rest!
This was awesome. I think there’s definitely a balance to being independent and putting effort into learning how to be in a good relationship. Its something that I’ve been working on recently
Caitlin thank you so much for sharing this, especially since it's so personal and you are in no way obligated to do so. Recently I've been getting pretty down on myself because it seems like everyone around me and everyone on vegan youtube is in a relationship, but I've been coming into my own these past few years- due in large part because of lifestyle changes you've inspired me to take on (going vegan, daily yoga practice, etc). You are one of my role models in this community, which might be weird to say since you're only a year older than me :) Thanks again for sharing.
Yup. I agree with so much you're saying here. Esp about not sacrificing parts of yourself for a relationship.
Great video. I related to this so much-I am an INFJ as well, and I get drained really quickly after interacting with large groups of people and would always rather do something one on one with someone over a huge group. I’ve never had a relationship and don’t want one for exactly the reasons you gave. I want to be in charge of my life and not have to change my goals and dreams for someone else. I am so sick of people asking me if I have a relationship yet and how people automatically assume it’s something everyone wants. One of the reasons I really like watching your channel is because you are single and independent and seem to really enjoy the life you’re living (not that I wouldn’t watch you if you were in a relationship :)). Anyway, thanks so much for sharing!
I totally get you, I love spending time with myself and trying to better myself. My love life has been kind of similar to yours, and I couldn't agree more with what you're saying! Being single is honestly pretty nice and less stressful in some ways! You gotta focus on yourself before someone else
I can’t express how glad I am that someone finally thinks the same way I do about relationships! I agree 100% with everything you said! 🤗
I think it is wonderful that you made this video. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. No one NEEDs to be in a relationship & it makes me sad that there are folks out there thinking that it's not OK to be single. It can be very liberating! It doesn't have to be depressing. The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. I think when you find the right person, you both are willing to sacrifice and compromise to make it work. I've been with my husband since we were 17. Sometimes you just know. You're perfect just the way you are, with or without a man.
Love your authenticity. It's so refreshing! I've never had a serious relationship, and going on 21 years old, its hard not to feel like you need a boyfriend when everyone around you is dating. Sometimes I feel lonely but I keep telling myself, the right one will eventually come along. 💑
This is so uplifting and definitely something I needed to hear. Thanks Caitlin!
I can relate to this Video so much! I have had two relationships so far. Both of them were rather out of fear of being alone than genuine love, which is not only unfair to yourself, but also to the other Person.
I have been single for almost three years now and have made the best out of it so far. I am working, exercising, trying new Things, spend time with friends, travelling... all without being concerned about a neglected boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I had "a someone" to come home to, but I am only 24, I think I have plenty of time for that. And as you said, our time will come. Everyone has their own path, everything will happen at the right time :)
I don’t know how this video got 57 dislikes? You deserve all the love in the world girl🤗❤️
Caitlin, thank you SO MUCH for this video. It encouraged me and made me happy to hear you say these things. I am single and have always been, but like you said, it's nice to live my life without having to check in with someone. With the nature of my job, that's a great thing. I can't wait to start traveling, which will happen soon. I won't have to check in with a soul; I can send family and friends messages so they know I'm okay... but since I don't live at home or with anyone, it's not a big deal if I decide to not come home after a work trip. I'm bummed about not having a pet because of my job, but that's what cat cafes are for.
Long story short, thank you again for being your awesome self, and for making this video. Sometimes us single girls need to be reminded that there's nothing wrong with us, that we're worthy of love, and that our lives aren't weird or defective. We are where we need to be right now. #singlegirlsunite
I like animals more than people. You’re so relatable and honest, love watching you!
I went through a similar situation that you had with your second relationship. I have now been single for 2 years and I have become so independent and much more happier. I love it. I have found so many new things about myself. 💖✨
Oh my word, thank you. I agree with so many things you said. Kudos to all of us who are single.
I have been cheated on and it's the worst feeling ever. It definitely took me a few years to trust and open myself up to another person. It's great that you are comfortable on your own and you'll meet the right person who appreciates all of the great things about you.
since watching your videos, I've had such high esteem for you, and now watching this one, I have an even greater respect for you! You are an amazing person and I really appreciate your videos and your compassion. I am a Christian, and I must say, you are a God-send! This video came at literally the right time and the right day. This is exactly what I've been feeling all day, so thank you so much!!!
YES to everything!
I honestly think that if I didn't work from home and was alone all day I couldn't be in a relationship right now, I just can't bear the thought of being around people all the time, it's so exhausting!
Omg introvert here!! I love going out with friends but I hate getting ready and walking out the door. I have a huge family so when we get together for a day or two the next days I need to be alone in my room lol
I can totally relate!
i am like literally the same lol
Thank you for saying all this Caitlin! So reliable!
You are absolutely right. You shouldn't be in a relationship just to be in a relationship and you shouldn't give up life experiences just so you can have someone. I gave up studying abroad too...for an abusive ex boyfriend. Totally not worth it. You live and you learn, I guess.
Nancy Plants aghhh tell me about it! I stopped studying so i could move to another country for my ex, turns out he was cheating the whole time and i had to cancel all plans.
Caitlin, I could not believe how much what you were saying speaks and relates to me. Honestly. This is my current life. Icky cheater ex-boyfriend - been there. Introvert - yes. Being comfortable in my own company - very much so. Not actively looking for anyone and not willing to settle for anything less than what I deserve - yes and yes.
Your authenticity is so beautiful 💕 thank you for existing honey!
I'm not single anymore but i totally relate! I love being alone, i love my own company 😝 It can be refreshing to step out of the box and go out and socialise with new people, but i always need time to recharge on my own lol.
This made me feel normal! Introverting is the best. Thanks for sharing this piece of your life.
LOVE when women realize they don't need to be in a relationship to feel validated!
There is a huge need to connect with others, but not a need to be attached. Love yourself, love others, and don't settle!
You said it well, Lady!
Great piece Caitlin! Wish more young women would listen to this & take note. Took me 55 years to get to the place you are today, finally enjoying my own company, and activities solo just as much as with friends. Not needing a man but desiring a relationship with acceptance that if it isn’t meant to be, so be it. Too many people or intense folks really zap me as well & find myself needing to come home & get grounded with yoga or meditation. Before bed & work day like to “download” with Netflix or Words with Friends then do some journaling or mediation before sleep. Affirmations in the morning. Realize we are not all the same but imagine a society if woman didn’t spend their whole life needing a man to be complete but instead truly got to know & love themselves first, spend time alone too then choose to be with the right partner - share a life growing together instead of conforming to expectations. Or not, and choosing a fullfulling & content single life too? I wonder how much less divorce their might be? Less depression, anxiety & self doubt? Higher self esteem & better partnerships? Food for thought.. vegan style ;) Thank you being transparent & for sharing
I understand you completely and feel identified! Practising self-love and becoming the person you desire it is the best thing in your early twenties! Cheers from Spain
Girl good for you! It’s not worth wasting time, emotions and dealing with heartbreak to be with someone you’re not attracted to or feel like you have to put so much effort towards or whatever. You do you! 👌🏻
I can relate to SO much of this. I have chosen to remain single these last four years because I needed at least two of them to 'reset' after the last one. The last few years is more a matter of having higher standards 'post reset'. I'm very happy alone and could remain that way as long as it takes to find someone who is first and foremost a best friend. I agree with you that there are pros and cons to relationships, and that at the same time, being alone forever isn't 'natural' or good forever. It is important to be that way as long as it takes until you meet someone that you have to make very few 'compromises' for, if those compromises simply feel unnatural. As cliche as it sounds, you do have to love yourself first. I do now, so the passing time very rarely makes me feel anxious like it used to. Quality is worth waiting for.
Just wanted to say that I relate SO MUCH to your introvert-ness. I'm the same way about needing me-time to recharge...and exploring on your own can definitely be super fun and freeing!
I JUST did a video about something similar (about being happy while on a frugal budget) because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being alone and people seem to think you need to be around people to be happy. I prefer to be alone, at home, instead of going out. I have a few friends and that's it. I can totally relate to being drained after being around people.
yess girl!!!! I think its soo important to know ur worth & know that u deserve someone who loves u fully & respects u & not just date anyone just because, so tru
i just moved into my first apartment and am living alone, but I also just got into my first relationship ever (I'm 21 now), and I am very glad I am living alone now because as much as I love my friends and boyfriend I desperately need time alone to recoup. I feel like I'm on the go all the time now and this new relationship is putting me in situations with unfamiliar people all the time and being a shy introverted individual makes that time alone SO important and I cherish it way more than I did when I was single.