If I had not moved from my hometown I wouldn’t have built a new character. I was delusional thinking I was great and doing great but I was lacking in a lot of areas in my life and it took a change of environment to wake me up.
@@tonygareth221if you believe in God ask him to show you a specific sign or any sign of where he think would be best for you, where you’ll thrive and then pay attention to the repeat signs. You’ll know.
That said, I agree with the spirit of this video. The desire to be more, though dormant in my original home environment, was a prerequisite for striving for the life I envision for myself.
The new environment prompts the ability of the brain to be neuroplastic, which means the stressors make it easier to activate some of the dormant genes and increases the ability to adapt to the new environment or circumstances. It’s a neat trick.
A change of scenery might be good in order to start afresh and not get retraumatized by a place where hurtful things happened to us, of course always working on ourselves because we can carry our own demons wherever we may go though.
This is the very hard lesson that I had to learn. My stepmother often said "Wherever you are, that's where you are at. You cannot ever escape yourself." Great video man ❤.
Running away is never a solution. Working on the root cause is so much important! Otherwise you will repeat the same pattern in new place too. Great talk!!
Look, I have a lot of pent up anger and nowhere I can scream and punch my pillows in peace without being judged. Sometimes we need our own space to heal.
Growing up around my family, my self image was largely determined by their opinion of me. When I was with them, I became who they expected me to be. When I moved away, I had an opportunity to see myself afresh. True, some of my old perceptions came with me. But, in time, I was free to evaluate myself without constraints.
this is actually a good thing, if your enviroment is just makng you sick, theres no shame in just waiting for a chance to finally leave. You dont need to accept this type of shit, and thats a good character trait, you dont need to fit, just to get along as it is necessary. Sry for my bad english.
“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.” My dad had explosive anger when I was a kid which made me run away from the situation. This behavior has made me run from anything uncomfortable into adulthood. I have been running for too long and want inner peace no matter where I live.
As much as I agree with Seneca, that’s just partially true. Some humans have a nomadic soul. One can argue, there are psychological components to this status. Aside, I have moved 37 times in my life and it is correct that you always take yourself and your issues with you. BUT…every new place will give you new insights and new growth. We are not trees, humans should wander to develop their true self. Your issues are not solved, but mostly the way you look at them will significantly change. I’ve lived in 4 countries, moved 37 times and visited 79 countries. And yes, sometimes I was on the run from self, but with more insight and wisdom, the running away stopped and I knew when the lesson was learned and the time had come to move on. It is an amazing journey and the growth of my “self” is just incredible. Do I have no problems? Of course I do, some days more some days less. - Yet again, when a cycle of life is fulfilled, move on and find greener gras. And yes, when you have done the inner work, the gras is always greener somewhere else. Namaste and thank you for your wonderful insights.
Wow that’s so beautiful and that’s what I’m trying to do! My very first move away from family my very first place but it takes money and it’s taking too long lol I really want to grow!!! I can almost taste it haha I found peace in Oregon when I lived there years back and I want to move back. I don’t know a single soul, my ex has moved and married and the thing is, I don’t care if I know anyone there I just know I love the environment! It’ll be the first time I moved somewhere not for a relationship with a man but more importantly a relationship with myself ❤
I agree with most of what u said... U can't escape yourself and u shouldn't! U should face your problems and enjoy the company of yourself... However, problems have external and internal factors so sometimes no matter how much u work on it inside, the problem is still there... A change of place solves the problem for a lot of people and a change of mindset does that for a lot of people too... Both factors are important and it depends where your problem is not u being the problem all the time.. Great topic! Keep up!!
This is so powerful!! I recently realized I can be peaceful and joyful no matter what just by not over identifying with my stressful thoughts. Just existing and being conscious is a gift no matter where we find ourselves in life.
Thank you... I can see through this comment of yours too. So simple.... We are our thoughts and we determine their quality... It's being conscious to them.
I am 30 and I have lived on the road as an OTR truck driver since 21. I am quitting this year, believing that there are things in life and within myself that I will have to leave this lifestyle to unlock.
Just working my way through your videos and commenting where I feel pulled to do so, so apologies if it gets overwhelming on your end. While I absolutely agree with the sentiment in the video, in some circumstances, the "change of scenery" is actually the catalyst for the changing of character. As a personal example, I was deeply unhappy and unhealed while living in Hamilton, Canada. I met the checklist requirements for what I was told would bring me happiness and never found it under my layers of mental illness issues. One day, I decided I would no longer live for that checklist and would live for myself, quitting my job, selling my home and belongings, and buying a ticket to Paris, France. It was there, in my solitude and my freedom from the many things that I was promised would bring me joy but did not, that I discovered who I was, that I dove more heavily into healing, unlearning, and changing my disposition, and where I uncovered my life purpose. Shortly afterward, I was set up on a blind date with my (now) husband. A change of scenery not only changed my life but saved me.
Unfortunately bad habits can be so hardly linked to a place or environment that the only way you can get out is to either change to environment or move yourself to another environment.
I was just thinking about how I’m always happier when I’m travelling and it made me wonder if it’s my location that needs changing or if it’s me. tyy for the reminder that we are our home
Wow, this resonates with me. I finally came into self awareness about these emotional intelligent barriers. It's amazing how u can go through life for so long not understanding these things. Numbing and distraction was the reason I never discovered these ideas earlier. This is a great overview of what ever human being should go through 🙏 my favorite part though was ur description of not having enough energy to do basic humans things. I struggled with this for so long.
11:17 - 11:27 That was beautiful and so profound. Millennial in her mid 30s here and I literally cried real significant tears for two minutes after hearing that part. That was beautiful. It was deeply resonant and confirming of current circumstance and long journey of re-alignment. Cried tears of joy mixed with confirmation and epiphany. Thank you for this video.
In 1991 I closed my eyes and opened the map put my finger on it. I moved there the very next day . 17 years living with opportunity and made many friends . I moved back because I needed family I am now leaving for a summer job In a totally different state. You are who you hang with there are many, many people in this world.❤
I think you have a point. I am being constantly bullied at work from work. I am going to change from being a people pleaser and trying to get people to like me. I am going to stand up for myself for a change.
I came to RUclips this evening in complete surrender that I'm generally stuck living in the state that I live in, one with no nature, in a city. The second video, which came after the first of yours I watched this evening, is this one. I'm so grateful to you. Keep it coming.
It is interesting that I came across your post today, I have been reading “Meditations of Marcus Aurelius “ and have been learning about Stoic philosophy. I also read and study Buddhism and it is very interesting how closely related the two are in the philosophy of life. On your recommendation the next book that I pick up will be Seneca. Thanks for introducing me and all your viewers to Seneca.
I am always the one that ruins my relationships with people cuz I always isolate myself and neglect the other person that’s why I need to work on myself more
Don't give up. Seek out other quiet souls. Get out of the house. Learn about Taoism and Zen Bhuddism. Do a kind deed for someone else. Give up alcohol, it's a depressant. @@idratherstayanonimous7020
I think ultimately everything always starts from within, yes it can be easy to blame our environment for our well-being and seeking an alternative place to gain peace of mind. However, a chaotic environment can be an incredibly difficult place to obtain the strength to realise that it was never the place or people and rather one’s perspective. A new environment can absolutely help build the strength to realise it was always you who held the ability to decide how you feel, regardless of your environment. Everyone is different, everyone has different sensitivities and reacts to things differently, a change in environment can completely change your perspective on life and your perspective is what gives the ability to think in a positive and loving way rather than a negative and fearful way. We don’t control what happens to us but we control how we respond, I feel different environments and people can help shift us into more beneficial responses to situations, but still, ultimately it always has to come from within. I appreciate the video and thought provoking message, much love to you 🙏❤️✌️
Oh yes - wherever you go, there you are. I’ve lived in two countries and learnt a lot about myself, mainly while feeling lonely. That experience cracked me open and am forever grateful. No turning back. You might be a philosopher, I hold an MA in psychology, now studying Compassionate Inquiry. Presence and attunement are essential. Thanks for your thoughts!❤
Thank you for your calm demeanour and delivery of these thoughts. It has a profound impact on allowing us, your audience, to deeply understand the thought. It gives us time to ponder and reflect on the meaning of your ideas. There's another channel that I follow that talks about teachings from Marcus Aurelius. Obviously the guy puts a lot of time into editing his videos, but the sheer number of cuts to clips or images that fill up the time is so much and the transitions are so rapid that the audience loses focus! The fact that you are sitting next to your bookcase or a lake or somewhere peaceful, and are so accurate when uttering each sentence makes the video have a very meditative and introspective vibe... I feel that's what you are also aiming to achieve. Please keep this style, as you make videos. Your channel is, in essence, a refuge that we can come to in the ad/algorithm-crazy platform that RUclips has become.
Crucial lesson to learn: don't ever escape the problems, face them. However, while projecting this approach onto social interactions, might find yourself as an elephant in the room, paradoxically. Most of the people don't cope well with dealing with any problems (especially relationship ones), like is said in the video. I guess most of us live in a smaller, or sometimes bigger, bubble.
Pretty broad statement that does of course make sense but cannot be fitting for everyone. I live in the city and dream of moving away to the mountains or ocean far away from the hustle and bustle but I am not doing it to run away from myself . But to find the silence that nature brings that cannot be found in urban areas.
Thank you for your thoughts on how we can "outrun ourselves"....I've been there and and am there...thank you for your advise in helping me stay where I am....
For a long time I thought that the place where I lived was the problem, that it was the reason why I couldn't improve. I went to a trip to a different country for two weeks with my sister and nothing changed. My mindset was still the same, my bad habits didn't dissapear, I was still insecure and unmotivated to do anything. That trip helped me realize that I was the problem, that I needed to change myself in order to get a better life. And everyday I'm trying, it's not easy but I keep pushing myself to get out of bed and get dressed and go outside for a little bit. I'm pushing myself to meditate for five minutes morning and night, to stretch and exercise and to keep studying and reading. I'm trying to break from scrolling on my phone, playing video games and eating bad food. One of the hardest things was to stop maladaptive daydreaming, which is something I've been doing since I was a kid. So yeah, some days I fail but I still keep trying to be better. I don't want go give up on myself.
Please don’t give up. I went through this and after a similar battle I’m in peace and happy. I counted on my faith in God as well. It made a whole difference to keep the faith. It was well worth it.❤
Its so true. I moved to another country and found myself struggling a lot with new scenery mentally, because you can’t escape yourself unless changing it internally.
Things are not final, black or white, or always conclusive. If someone always wants to be somewhere else, their soul probably needs that for THEIR development. A change in environment is a huge driver in changing perspective enough to change habits or behaviors. Of course, not everything is conclusive. That means a strategy may work for someone, and not someone else. Different strategies help in different points in one's life also due to a variety of other factors. All this to say, that whereas i agree with you and Seneca to a large degree, a change in scenery may very well factually serve as a catalyst, an inspiration or even a safe space one needs to change their life. Even in the form of the most obvious point many move which is for more opportunities. Source: i just moved 7 weeks ago and its really going great. I did a ton of internal work before moving, but if i didn't move, i wouldn't have been able to practice all I've learned. Moving, and the privacy and peace its given me has been a godsend. Very interesting video. Your speaking style shows that you do layer down into reasoning so i can appreciate that. You get a like from me, buddy!
This message came at the right time for me. It's like you held up a mirror and I could see patterns of my younger self that I see were made in an attempt to protect me, but if I keep moving forward with them they will only stunt me.
Hello, I could relate to everything you spoke - some things about myself, some about the relationship I had, some about my surroundings. I saw a video of David Goggins where he says he takes mental vacations when he is in the bathroom or just taking a break. That intrigued me. With most of the social media advocating that we need to be in a fancy place with luxurious amenities to be happy, I found solace in staying off of it and living the moment I have. Thank you for this message. It helped me have a conversation with myself.
I myself have NEVER been on a "vacation" in the traditional mainstream sense, but I have TONS of acquaintences who go on multiple "vacations" abroad, overseas, by the beach, or resort, or cruise, etc and they NEVER seem any different, or happier, or more relaxed, etc. NOTHING in their character has changed over the years. I sometimes find my mind wishing I could afford to travel like them, and then I realize that I have changed SO much in each year that passes, I wouldn't trade that for anything. I do take time out to "relax" from the hustle, but it's simple things like taking a hike in nature, driving to nowhere and back by myself, reading a book, listening to podcasts while I do laundry, meditate, and sometimes I can literally just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours...yep that's me. I don't find it boring or a waste of time, I just feel so good when I do that. Is that weird? Lol
I am noticing reflecting on your video , that sometimes I’m not so much trying to get away from something or myself as I’m trying to create / find a setting to give myself something I am not allowing myself under my present situation, wanting to justify it to myself because of being on vacation, like lots of time to read for example. There are beautiful settings where I live where I can go with a book and spend the afternoon, it’s a permission issue! So thank you, valuable lesson on so many levels…
Wanting to maximise every single hour of my day for productive things such as looking for a new job etc has robbed me of so much joy, not giving myself permission to do more of what I love instead
"A mind that is settled a character that it at pease with itself will alway be home wherever it is wherever it is both in location and in time." You have no idea how much i needed to hear this.
Well done. I'm going to have to read me some Seneca. And, a reminder to me to get back to my moral inventories. Made me a happier person when I took the time to build my own character.
I've just returned from a "vacation" to Germany, Italy and Tanzania. Funny thing is I have been familiar with Seneca and this quote for years, I guess I really needed to live it again to hammer the truth of it home. You are 100% on point.
I recommend anyone who sees this to watch the anime series One Piece. It may seem silly at first but the main character really embodies what you’ve mentioned here in that he’s always happy with himself and what he is doing in the present. Is Always on an adventure striving towards a goal. He doesn’t care about the future or what obstacles he’ll face. Since watching the show I use him as a role model for what I’d like to be. This show has genuinely changed my life for the better. when you see his smile you’ll understand
I watched a few episodes and loved that about him, initially I thought he seems like he had a few screws loose, but it grew on me. now I need to watch the full series.
Great video.. when I was 20 years old I spent a lot of time alone becoming autodidactic and thinking about the future so much. I was determined to make up for my lack of high school accomplishments and it lend me down a path of seeking wisdom. That came with loneliness and seclusion. I wish I read more Seneca,being present with what I had ( youth) was all I needed. Cheers.
It takes so much inner strength to be different from others... I'd love to hear your thoughts on what it means to be true to yourself, polite and respectful to others (after all, rules of engagement for friendships are more ambiguous and in a way, more restrictive). I agree that changing your location won't change your mind,, but as someone who has moved cities every few years, even as a child I found that the change was a valuable tool for me to change myself. Suddenly I had the power to sever myself from this self I had created, and build up into someone new. I've been living in the same city for 4 years now and do feel some restlessness to wipe the slate clean and start again - at the same time, I feel a sense of frustration at myself for lacking the courage and commitment to myself to do what is difficult right where I am. Tension is a big theme for me
This was a great video. I have read about being in the present and now and not feeling guilty of the past and stressed about the future in so many books (mostly ancient Indian philosophies). It seems like all great minds figure it out eventually.
I absolutely love this and you. I have trauma that I run from continually so I relate to this and find it so simple and helpful to hear. The one comment I would make is that yes absolutely we can be at ease in any situation if we come to find peace in ourselves but it’s also okay to realize that we are not at home here - this is not our final resting place. I heard a speaker describe the feeling as being “homeless and miserable” in this world. It does feel that way, even while we seek peace in it.
I wish ppl could hear u, cause I’ve been saying that for so many years and ghosting and blocking “friends” that I don’t want anymore cause it is pushing me down. And ppl say I am mean . Well, I am not mean, I am just taking care of myself
I am comfortable being by myself, but now confident enough. For confidence in the world filled with friends, partners and groups, I feel weird and foreign being by myself. So for confidence, I need a friend. I don't feel confident by myself, esp at crowded places and outside home, like streets, restaurants, parks and all
The profound manual growth intellectually, emotionally and perhaps spiritually I've been craving.. you have put the food on the plate so to speak. Every video I just keep saying, thank you !
Thank you for this! I’ve been making excuses with a friend and feeling bad because I don’t like hurting people. The dishonesty doesn’t sit well with me either 😂
Hanging with the right kind of people, my wife and I are dealing with this on a number of levels. We make excuses to people we don’t want to associate with, but have trouble moving a level up.
i have found great admiration for you sir, you speak in such amusing ways, and somehow all of these things are what ive been avoiding addressing myself. I see you and your spoken words as greatly influential. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope whoever needs to hear you like i did, finds you in due time
Tbh LSD is what really taught me that wherever I go I can’t escape myself, but at the same time, I’ve been sort of stuck in a stagnant circumstances not so conducive of progress. Not enough has changed since my childhood & I’m realizing that the environment is in direct correlation to some of my worst characteristics which are reflected in my family. I love & appreciate them a whole lot, don’t get me wrong, I just feel it’s really time to go out on my own & carve my own path. I’ve done quite a lot of inner work over the years & while there was a lot of growth, having that toxic environment where everything’s pretty much the same & others don’t wanna work on themselves has held me back, along with myself getting in my own way of course. It’s a lot of factors to it. With all of that being said, I’m glad I just found your channel as I resonate with the video about going it alone for a while & even this one, I just really think a change of environment where health & growth are prioritized would be favorable for myself.
Sometimes you have to leave. Can’t live in New York anymore as the season of effective disorder is just killing me during the winter and it’s too expensive.
We did a lot of camping when our kids were little. My husband used to say wherever Mom hangs her clothes line, in between trees, is home. It is so true. When we have peace within us, it really doesn't matter where we are. I enjoy reading your recommended books so much. This new wisdom I am learning is changing my life. I am now looking at events with a different perspective, and I am trying to act accordingly. Learning to focus on things that I can control in my life and let go of the rest brings peace.
That can be right but again its like an excuse for not working hard I am certainly in the same position as you But I don't care I do what I must do eventhough its mostly weird for the ppl around me
"Without going out of your door, you can know the whole world. Without looking out of your window, you can see the way of heaven. The farther you go, the less you know. Therefore the sage does not travel; yet he knows all." Tao Te Ching, Chpt 47
Seneca is INTJ, so are you I guess! definitely for high Te-Fi (extraverted thinking; introverted feeling) loop users, with weak Se (extroverted sensing, scenery, material world). HITS HARD! I have lived in 5 countries already, visited +30, it is a video for serial travelers and existence seekers for sure. Wherever you go, well there is you taken with you too haha sometimes I did not like the place, because well it was about me, not the place itself, when I have built knowledge, relationships, mental health, peace, career everything else started to blossom and that is what you carry.
I've cut off some friends recently and That was the right move , but a voice in my head wants me to go even further and to cut off some people closer to me, But honestly this is to far. its really good to have boundaries but, Its not going to solve all my problems I realized I was looking to much externally. Great video man, If we really have gained more inner strength and confidence we need to enter uncomfortable situations with our abundance mindset and put it to the test. If nothing REALLY bothers us as much as it use to we shouldn't have to be so rigid, we can become comfortable where we weren't before.
Being nice must come naturally. If one pushes oneself to be nice for whatever reason, it simply stresses you out. I find it better to be just and honest at all times. Just to myself and to others. This must be accompanied by good manners, by being gracious and kind, but firm. @morgangrant5180
It's hard to believe but I soo agree with you. I have been overly kind through my life. Now 66 and where did my life go. Why has my soul almost died because I gave so much of myself away. Now I have few people in my life. More me time to heal myself. I have made some solace now. In my garden, feeding the birds, hearing the sea and sitting still within the elements of the natural world.
🥺Look...you and I both know this man is obviously a vampire in an alluring disguise😒. DO NOT FALL UNDER HIS SPELL😲! Just look into his eyes and enjoy the ride🤪.
I left my country to finally face myself. To let go of the coping mechanisms which were weighing me down - cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, relationships. People might think I moved away to run away from my problems, but I knew exactly what was waiting for me. That core feeling of separation and loneliness, gnawing at me since I can remember. I am finally allowing myself to step into it in order to resolve it. That's what changing the scenery did for me. Of course, that unhealed part of me wants to change the scenery again, but now I'm aware enough to simply observe it and see it for what it is.
This is so true….I moved from my home state farther north and ended up in a similar town to the one I had left. I realized that I must like small towns so that wasn’t the problem…😅 I enjoy where I live and I enjoy traveling. I’ve also learned to not attach my identity to a town or a place, and working on myself allowed me to enjoy travel because I truly travel now; I’m not desperate to escape anymore. I wish this video had been around 20 years ago, but sometimes experience has to be the teacher, I suppose.
I love the part where you say that we can be a silent observer and find the situation interesting, and the situation passes anyway regardless of what it is. I feel like that sentence alone brings so much peace because of impermanence and it opens up a sense of curiosity in me which makes life so intriguing.
If I had not moved from my hometown I wouldn’t have built a new character. I was delusional thinking I was great and doing great but I was lacking in a lot of areas in my life and it took a change of environment to wake me up.
Sometimes I think I should leave but I do t know where or why
@@tonygareth221if you believe in God ask him to show you a specific sign or any sign of where he think would be best for you, where you’ll thrive and then pay attention to the repeat signs. You’ll know.
So much this! I left my home town in my early twenties and only then began to become what I am. Curiosity and ambition bloomed in a new environment.
That said, I agree with the spirit of this video. The desire to be more, though dormant in my original home environment, was a prerequisite for striving for the life I envision for myself.
The new environment prompts the ability of the brain to be neuroplastic, which means the stressors make it easier to activate some of the dormant genes and increases the ability to adapt to the new environment or circumstances. It’s a neat trick.
A change of scenery might be good in order to start afresh and not get retraumatized by a place where hurtful things happened to us, of course always working on ourselves because we can carry our own demons wherever we may go though.
Yeah it is hard to decide. I’m sure we’ll end up getting it right though.
This is the very hard lesson that I had to learn. My stepmother often said "Wherever you are, that's where you are at. You cannot ever escape yourself." Great video man ❤.
My grandmother would say, •Wherever you go, there you are.
Running away is never a solution. Working on the root cause is so much important! Otherwise you will repeat the same pattern in new place too. Great talk!!
Look, I have a lot of pent up anger and nowhere I can scream and punch my pillows in peace without being judged. Sometimes we need our own space to heal.
@@Bia-rx8wf Yes, I agree!
Problems don't run away if one runs away, problems remain in the self. Ditto, and iterated by variant syntax structuralist essayists.
@waytoprogramming You can't change weather. 😊
@@rockingredpoppy9119 True 🙌
Growing up around my family, my self image was largely determined by their opinion of me.
When I was with them, I became who they expected me to be.
When I moved away, I had an opportunity to see myself afresh.
True, some of my old perceptions came with me.
But, in time, I was free to evaluate myself without constraints.
This is it! Yes, completely agree. Having similar realizations myself.
Trust me, I'm longing for a change of environment. I refuse to compromise my character to fit into the chaos of my current surroundings.
I am too wanna be roommates lol
this is actually a good thing, if your enviroment is just makng you sick, theres no shame in just waiting for a chance to finally leave. You dont need to accept this type of shit, and thats a good character trait, you dont need to fit, just to get along as it is necessary. Sry for my bad english.
We take ourselves with us wherever we go
“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.” My dad had explosive anger when I was a kid which made me run away from the situation. This behavior has made me run from anything uncomfortable into adulthood. I have been running for too long and want inner peace no matter where I live.
Ditto well said
Dang same
Damn same
Its nervous system activated
As much as I agree with Seneca, that’s just partially true. Some humans have a nomadic soul. One can argue, there are psychological components to this status. Aside, I have moved 37 times in my life and it is correct that you always take yourself and your issues with you. BUT…every new place will give you new insights and new growth. We are not trees, humans should wander to develop their true self. Your issues are not solved, but mostly the way you look at them will significantly change. I’ve lived in 4 countries, moved 37 times and visited 79 countries. And yes, sometimes I was on the run from self, but with more insight and wisdom, the running away stopped and I knew when the lesson was learned and the time had come to move on. It is an amazing journey and the growth of my “self” is just incredible. Do I have no problems? Of course I do, some days more some days less. - Yet again, when a cycle of life is fulfilled, move on and find greener gras. And yes, when you have done the inner work, the gras is always greener somewhere else. Namaste and thank you for your wonderful insights.
nomadic soul like every white girl out there for sure for sure .
Wow that’s so beautiful and that’s what I’m trying to do! My very first move away from family my very first place but it takes money and it’s taking too long lol I really want to grow!!! I can almost taste it haha I found peace in Oregon when I lived there years back and I want to move back. I don’t know a single soul, my ex has moved and married and the thing is, I don’t care if I know anyone there I just know I love the environment! It’ll be the first time I moved somewhere not for a relationship with a man but more importantly a relationship with myself ❤
@@musashi542 Says the white dude LARPing as a Japanese guy...
@@SinfulScents where are you now?
@@truechamp3404 I’m in central Florida
Being able to spend time with yourself happily, immersed in what must be done, aware of life in every breath is truly bliss.
my body aches all the time. it distracts me. pushes me to alcohol.
I can listen to this man’s voice for hours
Wherever you go, there you are. Make peace with yourself.
I agree with most of what u said... U can't escape yourself and u shouldn't!
U should face your problems and enjoy the company of yourself...
However, problems have external and internal factors so sometimes no matter how much u work on it inside, the problem is still there...
A change of place solves the problem for a lot of people and a change of mindset does that for a lot of people too...
Both factors are important and it depends where your problem is not u being the problem all the time..
Great topic! Keep up!!
This is so powerful!! I recently realized I can be peaceful and joyful no matter what just by not over identifying with my stressful thoughts. Just existing and being conscious is a gift no matter where we find ourselves in life.
Thank you... I can see through this comment of yours too. So simple.... We are our thoughts and we determine their quality... It's being conscious to them.
A boy waits tor the right moment, a man makes the moment right
I feel like that title just slapped me in the face
bro us
I am 30 and I have lived on the road as an OTR truck driver since 21. I am quitting this year, believing that there are things in life and within myself that I will have to leave this lifestyle to unlock.
Just working my way through your videos and commenting where I feel pulled to do so, so apologies if it gets overwhelming on your end. While I absolutely agree with the sentiment in the video, in some circumstances, the "change of scenery" is actually the catalyst for the changing of character. As a personal example, I was deeply unhappy and unhealed while living in Hamilton, Canada. I met the checklist requirements for what I was told would bring me happiness and never found it under my layers of mental illness issues. One day, I decided I would no longer live for that checklist and would live for myself, quitting my job, selling my home and belongings, and buying a ticket to Paris, France. It was there, in my solitude and my freedom from the many things that I was promised would bring me joy but did not, that I discovered who I was, that I dove more heavily into healing, unlearning, and changing my disposition, and where I uncovered my life purpose. Shortly afterward, I was set up on a blind date with my (now) husband. A change of scenery not only changed my life but saved me.
I greatly enjoy your delivery. Your channel is one of the few that I subscribed based on the first video I watched.
Thank you. Thoughtful and clearly spoken. I’m glad I found this channel, you will have many more subscribers soon.
Thank you for this. I've been running from myself but no matter where I go, there I am.
Thankyou for this advice, at 43 i am experiencing a sober wake up, life doesnt seem real sometimes.
I get that
Your environment definitely has an impact on your character but so does your inner dialogue
Unfortunately bad habits can be so hardly linked to a place or environment that the only way you can get out is to either change to environment or move yourself to another environment.
"I have been to paradise...but I've never been to me..." Randy Crawford, "I've Never Been To Me"
This sums up the past years for me and not knowing why until you shared this wisdom eloquently, thank you for that!
I was just thinking about how I’m always happier when I’m travelling and it made me wonder if it’s my location that needs changing or if it’s me. tyy for the reminder that we are our home
You can’t hide from yourself. Every where you go, there you are !
Wow, this resonates with me. I finally came into self awareness about these emotional intelligent barriers. It's amazing how u can go through life for so long not understanding these things. Numbing and distraction was the reason I never discovered these ideas earlier. This is a great overview of what ever human being should go through 🙏 my favorite part though was ur description of not having enough energy to do basic humans things. I struggled with this for so long.
11:17 - 11:27 That was beautiful and so profound. Millennial in her mid 30s here and I literally cried real significant tears for two minutes after hearing that part. That was beautiful. It was deeply resonant and confirming of current circumstance and long journey of re-alignment. Cried tears of joy mixed with confirmation and epiphany. Thank you for this video.
In 1991 I closed my eyes and opened the map put my finger on it. I moved there the very next day . 17 years living with opportunity and made many friends . I moved back because I needed family I am now leaving for a summer job In a totally different state. You are who you hang with there are many, many people in this world.❤
I love your story. Thank you for sharing
I think you have a point. I am being constantly bullied at work from work. I am going to change from being a people pleaser and trying to get people to like me. I am going to stand up for myself for a change.
I came to RUclips this evening in complete surrender that I'm generally stuck living in the state that I live in, one with no nature, in a city. The second video, which came after the first of yours I watched this evening, is this one. I'm so grateful to you. Keep it coming.
It is interesting that I came across your post today, I have been reading “Meditations of Marcus Aurelius “ and have been learning about Stoic philosophy. I also read and study Buddhism and it is very interesting how closely related the two are in the philosophy of life. On your recommendation the next book that I pick up will be Seneca. Thanks for introducing me and all your viewers to Seneca.
I am always the one that ruins my relationships with people cuz I always isolate myself and neglect the other person that’s why I need to work on myself more
😮oh my 😮me too 😊
Same. Yet i can't bear my loneliness.
Don't give up. Seek out other quiet souls. Get out of the house. Learn about Taoism and Zen Bhuddism. Do a kind deed for someone else. Give up alcohol, it's a depressant. @@idratherstayanonimous7020
I think ultimately everything always starts from within, yes it can be easy to blame our environment for our well-being and seeking an alternative place to gain peace of mind. However, a chaotic environment can be an incredibly difficult place to obtain the strength to realise that it was never the place or people and rather one’s perspective. A new environment can absolutely help build the strength to realise it was always you who held the ability to decide how you feel, regardless of your environment. Everyone is different, everyone has different sensitivities and reacts to things differently, a change in environment can completely change your perspective on life and your perspective is what gives the ability to think in a positive and loving way rather than a negative and fearful way. We don’t control what happens to us but we control how we respond, I feel different environments and people can help shift us into more beneficial responses to situations, but still, ultimately it always has to come from within. I appreciate the video and thought provoking message, much love to you 🙏❤️✌️
massively respect these talks. Ty for your work.
Oh yes - wherever you go, there you are. I’ve lived in two countries and learnt a lot about myself, mainly while feeling lonely. That experience cracked me open and am forever grateful. No turning back. You might be a philosopher, I hold an MA in psychology, now studying Compassionate Inquiry. Presence and attunement are essential. Thanks for your thoughts!❤
Alchemy of mind is my largest life hurdle. I'm trying to self-actualize while functioning in survival mode, and it is rather challenging.
Thank you for your calm demeanour and delivery of these thoughts. It has a profound impact on allowing us, your audience, to deeply understand the thought. It gives us time to ponder and reflect on the meaning of your ideas. There's another channel that I follow that talks about teachings from Marcus Aurelius. Obviously the guy puts a lot of time into editing his videos, but the sheer number of cuts to clips or images that fill up the time is so much and the transitions are so rapid that the audience loses focus! The fact that you are sitting next to your bookcase or a lake or somewhere peaceful, and are so accurate when uttering each sentence makes the video have a very meditative and introspective vibe... I feel that's what you are also aiming to achieve. Please keep this style, as you make videos. Your channel is, in essence, a refuge that we can come to in the ad/algorithm-crazy platform that RUclips has become.
Crucial lesson to learn: don't ever escape the problems, face them. However, while projecting this approach onto social interactions, might find yourself as an elephant in the room, paradoxically. Most of the people don't cope well with dealing with any problems (especially relationship ones), like is said in the video. I guess most of us live in a smaller, or sometimes bigger, bubble.
Pretty broad statement that does of course make sense but cannot be fitting for everyone. I live in the city and dream of moving away to the mountains or ocean far away from the hustle and bustle but I am not doing it to run away from myself . But to find the silence that nature brings that cannot be found in urban areas.
Thank you for your thoughts on how we can "outrun ourselves"....I've been there and and am there...thank you for your advise in helping me stay where I am....
For a long time I thought that the place where I lived was the problem, that it was the reason why I couldn't improve. I went to a trip to a different country for two weeks with my sister and nothing changed. My mindset was still the same, my bad habits didn't dissapear, I was still insecure and unmotivated to do anything. That trip helped me realize that I was the problem, that I needed to change myself in order to get a better life.
And everyday I'm trying, it's not easy but I keep pushing myself to get out of bed and get dressed and go outside for a little bit. I'm pushing myself to meditate for five minutes morning and night, to stretch and exercise and to keep studying and reading. I'm trying to break from scrolling on my phone, playing video games and eating bad food. One of the hardest things was to stop maladaptive daydreaming, which is something I've been doing since I was a kid. So yeah, some days I fail but I still keep trying to be better.
I don't want go give up on myself.
Walk a little further (farther?) every day.
Please don’t give up. I went through this and after a similar battle I’m in peace and happy. I counted on my faith in God as well. It made a whole difference to keep the faith. It was well worth it.❤
Its so true. I moved to another country and found myself struggling a lot with new scenery mentally, because you can’t escape yourself unless changing it internally.
I like your delivery - calm, deliberate. It helps. Other RUclipsrs get this wrong and I don't watch them.
It seems to me only so few people understand this nowadays. Everyone appears to just be running towards their next escape.
Great message
First time listening to you, appreciate your thoughtfulness , heartfelt, and ease of sharing what are often complex issues for many .
Things are not final, black or white, or always conclusive.
If someone always wants to be somewhere else, their soul probably needs that for THEIR development. A change in environment is a huge driver in changing perspective enough to change habits or behaviors. Of course, not everything is conclusive. That means a strategy may work for someone, and not someone else. Different strategies help in different points in one's life also due to a variety of other factors.
All this to say, that whereas i agree with you and Seneca to a large degree, a change in scenery may very well factually serve as a catalyst, an inspiration or even a safe space one needs to change their life.
Even in the form of the most obvious point many move which is for more opportunities.
Source: i just moved 7 weeks ago and its really going great. I did a ton of internal work before moving, but if i didn't move, i wouldn't have been able to practice all I've learned. Moving, and the privacy and peace its given me has been a godsend.
Very interesting video. Your speaking style shows that you do layer down into reasoning so i can appreciate that. You get a like from me, buddy!
This message came at the right time for me. It's like you held up a mirror and I could see patterns of my younger self that I see were made in an attempt to protect me, but if I keep moving forward with them they will only stunt me.
Hello, I could relate to everything you spoke - some things about myself, some about the relationship I had, some about my surroundings. I saw a video of David Goggins where he says he takes mental vacations when he is in the bathroom or just taking a break. That intrigued me. With most of the social media advocating that we need to be in a fancy place with luxurious amenities to be happy, I found solace in staying off of it and living the moment I have. Thank you for this message. It helped me have a conversation with myself.
Disconnecting from social media has been the best way to find solace for me too.
I myself have NEVER been on a "vacation" in the traditional mainstream sense, but I have TONS of acquaintences who go on multiple "vacations" abroad, overseas, by the beach, or resort, or cruise, etc and they NEVER seem any different, or happier, or more relaxed, etc. NOTHING in their character has changed over the years. I sometimes find my mind wishing I could afford to travel like them, and then I realize that I have changed SO much in each year that passes, I wouldn't trade that for anything. I do take time out to "relax" from the hustle, but it's simple things like taking a hike in nature, driving to nowhere and back by myself, reading a book, listening to podcasts while I do laundry, meditate, and sometimes I can literally just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours...yep that's me. I don't find it boring or a waste of time, I just feel so good when I do that. Is that weird? Lol
When I was 13, I was obsessed with reading Seneca every day. Thank you for reminding me how much I loved him. Great content, keep on going :)
You must be pretty amazing to have been reading Seneca at age 13. My sis was reading Homer, then, but I was still on Lassie, myself. : -)
I am noticing reflecting on your video , that sometimes I’m not so much trying to get away from something or myself as I’m trying to create / find a setting to give myself something I am not allowing myself under my present situation, wanting to justify it to myself because of being on vacation, like lots of time to read for example. There are beautiful settings where I live where I can go with a book and spend the afternoon, it’s a permission issue! So thank you, valuable lesson on so many levels…
Wanting to maximise every single hour of my day for productive things such as looking for a new job etc has robbed me of so much joy, not giving myself permission to do more of what I love instead
"A mind that is settled a character that it at pease with itself will alway be home wherever it is wherever it is both in location and in time." You have no idea how much i needed to hear this.
Well done. I'm going to have to read me some Seneca. And, a reminder to me to get back to my moral inventories. Made me a happier person when I took the time to build my own character.
I've just returned from a "vacation" to Germany, Italy and Tanzania. Funny thing is I have been familiar with Seneca and this quote for years, I guess I really needed to live it again to hammer the truth of it home. You are 100% on point.
I recommend anyone who sees this to watch the anime series One Piece. It may seem silly at first but the main character really embodies what you’ve mentioned here in that he’s always happy with himself and what he is doing in the present. Is Always on an adventure striving towards a goal. He doesn’t care about the future or what obstacles he’ll face. Since watching the show I use him as a role model for what I’d like to be. This show has genuinely changed my life for the better. when you see his smile you’ll understand
for those unwilling to watch a thousand episodes, the "gear 5" scene with the drums of liberation pretty much sums up this feeling
Thank you.
I watched a few episodes and loved that about him, initially I thought he seems like he had a few screws loose, but it grew on me. now I need to watch the full series.
I'm glad I came upon this channel, it's like every video fixes one of my problems.
Great video.. when I was 20 years old I spent a lot of time alone becoming autodidactic and thinking about the future so much. I was determined to make up for my lack of high school accomplishments and it lend me down a path of seeking wisdom. That came with loneliness and seclusion. I wish I read more Seneca,being present with what I had ( youth) was all I needed. Cheers.
I ran away inside myself! Now I realize the changes I can make to heal and allow me to be my best in any location or around anyone.
It takes so much inner strength to be different from others... I'd love to hear your thoughts on what it means to be true to yourself, polite and respectful to others (after all, rules of engagement for friendships are more ambiguous and in a way, more restrictive).
I agree that changing your location won't change your mind,, but as someone who has moved cities every few years, even as a child I found that the change was a valuable tool for me to change myself. Suddenly I had the power to sever myself from this self I had created, and build up into someone new. I've been living in the same city for 4 years now and do feel some restlessness to wipe the slate clean and start again - at the same time, I feel a sense of frustration at myself for lacking the courage and commitment to myself to do what is difficult right where I am. Tension is a big theme for me
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
This was a great video. I have read about being in the present and now and not feeling guilty of the past and stressed about the future in so many books (mostly ancient Indian philosophies). It seems like all great minds figure it out eventually.
I absolutely love this and you. I have trauma that I run from continually so I relate to this and find it so simple and helpful to hear. The one comment I would make is that yes absolutely we can be at ease in any situation if we come to find peace in ourselves but it’s also okay to realize that we are not at home here - this is not our final resting place. I heard a speaker describe the feeling as being “homeless and miserable” in this world. It does feel that way, even while we seek peace in it.
Ultimately and in the final analysis, you live in your head.
Wow this was right on time for me. Thank you so much for this video.
I wish ppl could hear u, cause I’ve been saying that for so many years and ghosting and blocking “friends” that I don’t want anymore cause it is pushing me down. And ppl say I am mean . Well, I am not mean, I am just taking care of myself
I am comfortable being by myself, but now confident enough. For confidence in the world filled with friends, partners and groups, I feel weird and foreign being by myself. So for confidence, I need a friend. I don't feel confident by myself, esp at crowded places and outside home, like streets, restaurants, parks and all
Thank you. Your insight and delivery is perfect. Seneca is ordered 😊
In the process of reading Meditations with Marcus Aurelius, it's very in sight full. Seneca will be my next mind adventure.
The profound manual growth intellectually, emotionally and perhaps spiritually I've been craving.. you have put the food on the plate so to speak. Every video I just keep saying, thank you !
As Bob Marley said 'U cant runaway from Yourself'
Also the more u reject the harder it gets.
Acceptance is k🔑y !
Idk who you are but I needed this. Thank you
Please don’t stop, these videos keep me going. 🙏🖤
The now is all we have. - Well said! Thank you!
"Indeed, Allāh will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." 13:11
Thank you for this! I’ve been making excuses with a friend and feeling bad because I don’t like hurting people. The dishonesty doesn’t sit well with me either 😂
Same here... 😅
Hanging with the right kind of people, my wife and I are dealing with this on a number of levels. We make excuses to people we don’t want to associate with, but have trouble moving a level up.
you are a wonderful thank you for sharing your story ....amazing
i have found great admiration for you sir, you speak in such amusing ways, and somehow all of these things are what ive been avoiding addressing myself. I see you and your spoken words as greatly influential. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope whoever needs to hear you like i did, finds you in due time
Tbh LSD is what really taught me that wherever I go I can’t escape myself, but at the same time, I’ve been sort of stuck in a stagnant circumstances not so conducive of progress. Not enough has changed since my childhood & I’m realizing that the environment is in direct correlation to some of my worst characteristics which are reflected in my family. I love & appreciate them a whole lot, don’t get me wrong, I just feel it’s really time to go out on my own & carve my own path. I’ve done quite a lot of inner work over the years & while there was a lot of growth, having that toxic environment where everything’s pretty much the same & others don’t wanna work on themselves has held me back, along with myself getting in my own way of course. It’s a lot of factors to it.
With all of that being said, I’m glad I just found your channel as I resonate with the video about going it alone for a while & even this one, I just really think a change of environment where health & growth are prioritized would be favorable for myself.
Sometimes you have to leave. Can’t live in New York anymore as the season of effective disorder is just killing me during the winter and it’s too expensive.
Wonderful video...being strong in general in all situations always keeps one strong and focused xxx thank you for sharingxxx
We did a lot of camping when our kids were little. My husband used to say wherever Mom hangs her clothes line, in between trees, is home. It is so true. When we have peace within us, it really doesn't matter where we are. I enjoy reading your recommended books so much. This new wisdom I am learning is changing my life. I am now looking at events with a different perspective, and I am trying to act accordingly. Learning to focus on things that I can control in my life and let go of the rest brings peace.
What a wonderful journey you are on, enjoy!
Thank you!
🧐 Atmosphere, locations, DEFINITELY make a difference. You can't grow in an environment that no longer serves your higher self.
Then get out or make the most of it. I agree but I can’t leave my town for 2-3 years so gonna make the most of where I’m at.
Very true 💯
That can be right but again its like an excuse for not working hard
I am certainly in the same position as you But I don't care I do what I must do eventhough its mostly weird for the ppl around me
I just said it makes a difference 🤷🏻♀️
"Without going out of your door, you can know the whole world.
Without looking out of your window, you can see the way of heaven.
The farther you go, the less you know.
Therefore the sage does not travel; yet he knows all."
Tao Te Ching, Chpt 47
Seneca is INTJ, so are you I guess! definitely for high Te-Fi (extraverted thinking; introverted feeling) loop users, with weak Se (extroverted sensing, scenery, material world). HITS HARD! I have lived in 5 countries already, visited +30, it is a video for serial travelers and existence seekers for sure. Wherever you go, well there is you taken with you too haha sometimes I did not like the place, because well it was about me, not the place itself, when I have built knowledge, relationships, mental health, peace, career everything else started to blossom and that is what you carry.
Sometimes you need a new scenery
I've cut off some friends recently and That was the right move , but a voice in my head wants me to go even further and to cut off some people closer to me, But honestly this is to far. its really good to have boundaries but, Its not going to solve all my problems I realized I was looking to much externally. Great video man, If we really have gained more inner strength and confidence we need to enter uncomfortable situations with our abundance mindset and put it to the test. If nothing REALLY bothers us as much as it use to we shouldn't have to be so rigid, we can become comfortable where we weren't before.
Thank you for your amazing channel. I find your ideas refreshing and enlightening. 😊
Being nice has destroyed my life
In what ways? People take advantage of you?
Same.
Being nice must come naturally. If one pushes oneself to be nice for whatever reason, it simply stresses you out. I find it better to be just and honest at all times. Just to myself and to others. This must be accompanied by good manners, by being gracious and kind, but firm. @morgangrant5180
Never get tired of doing what’s good. You will reap good fruits
It's hard to believe but I soo agree with you. I have been overly kind through my life. Now 66 and where did my life go. Why has my soul almost died because I gave so much of myself away. Now I have few people in my life. More me time to heal myself. I have made some solace now. In my garden, feeding the birds, hearing the sea and sitting still within the elements of the natural world.
🥺Look...you and I both know this man is obviously a vampire in an alluring disguise😒. DO NOT FALL UNDER HIS SPELL😲! Just look into his eyes and enjoy the ride🤪.
I left my country to finally face myself. To let go of the coping mechanisms which were weighing me down - cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, relationships. People might think I moved away to run away from my problems, but I knew exactly what was waiting for me. That core feeling of separation and loneliness, gnawing at me since I can remember. I am finally allowing myself to step into it in order to resolve it. That's what changing the scenery did for me. Of course, that unhealed part of me wants to change the scenery again, but now I'm aware enough to simply observe it and see it for what it is.
it does not matter where you try to escape to, you cannot escape yourself
I've been researching stoicism, to deal with everyday issues....thank you.
Really enjoy your insights. Thank you
Some places make you crazier. Like a small town in Louisiana 😊😊😊😊😊😊
This is so true….I moved from my home state farther north and ended up in a similar town to the one I had left. I realized that I must like small towns so that wasn’t the problem…😅
I enjoy where I live and I enjoy traveling. I’ve also learned to not attach my identity to a town or a place, and working on myself allowed me to enjoy travel because I truly travel now; I’m not desperate to escape anymore. I wish this video had been around 20 years ago, but sometimes experience has to be the teacher, I suppose.
I love the part where you say that we can be a silent observer and find the situation interesting, and the situation passes anyway regardless of what it is. I feel like that sentence alone brings so much peace because of impermanence and it opens up a sense of curiosity in me which makes life so intriguing.