John Crist - "I Aint Prayin for That"
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- Опубликовано: 25 сен 2022
- "Can you pray for my son's karate Tournament?" No. Recitals, concert tickets, natural disasters...John Crist questions why we pray for some of the things we do.
John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit /www.johncristcomedy.com 
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That God’s Plan joke went underappreciated
For sure it did lol
Yeah. Lol😂 if you know you know.
I just try to pray for their hearts. Like, “Lord, please help all the parents at the karate tournament be good ambassadors of you, and not traumatize their children by yelling at the judges.”
Having participated in a few karate tournaments, it does seem a little weird to ask for prayer for them. But, at one, the master of ceremonies publicly prayed for safety and a good time for all, and I found it to be really touching. His prayers were answered.
This needs to be greatly expanded and published in a book.
My dad once spoke at a church and after the service, a lady asked him to pray that she would have a baby. He felt like there was something weird about it and asked her what her husband thought. She said that she didn’t have a husband. He suggested that he pray for God to send her a nice husband and she said, no, I don’t want a husband, just a baby.
Guess she never heard of adoption?
There's nothing wrong with wanting a baby and not a husband.
@@carrielucaspardon8598 Plenty Wrong. A child needs TWO STABLE parents to provide a stable loving home. Not one selfish unwed loser mother.
@Carrie Lucas Pardon, that's fornication if you birth a child without being married.
@@carrielucaspardon8598Maybe not for the parent, but the child isn't going to be alright
I love how Jon censors himself: "I'm not doing that bit."
Woahhh😂 The only time i can recall praying for something (material or in vain) when i was 8 and i prayed “Jesus, please let me have a pink barbie jet for my birthday.” and i was PRAYING😂
What a skit, I’m sure many can relate to this 😂
I ALWAYS pray for that cat or dog Any animal! It’s a great way to witness to people 🙏😁
Is the animal healed? Or does everyone just feel good after the prayer?
See the last chapter of Mark. Healing SHOULD happen. If it doesn't happen for the cat, for the person, for grandma who has had cancer for nigh 4 years now, then you have to ask yourself, "Why?". I have seen healing and miracles. I stood less than 20 feet from a woman who was healed of a short leg. She had been injured years ago, and the leg healed shorter than the other years ago. Her leg grew. She had walked into the service limping one way (short leg), and she walked out of that service limping the other way (because of the special shoes she wore to help with the previously short leg). I know healing can happen, and it is a wonderful witness and brings glory to God.
But if there is no healing, if you pray and the cat doesn't get better, what kind of witness is that?
@@SamBrockmann
Sometimes yes they do get healed! Sometimes not! It’s a no brainer
I work in the horse industry where there is tons of money and godlessness. These people appreciate when I take the time to pray for their horse or cat or dogs. News flash, there ARE animals in heaven. Jesus is returning on a white horse! Rev. 19
My sister was diagnosed last year with stage 4 cancer. People around the world were praying for her. Guess what. She died 3 months later. Our prayers don’t always constitute healing. It’s God’s decision to heal or not. But we still pray….
I will always pray for animals. What kind of a God created animals, allowed Adam and Eve to literally talk with them and then banish them from heaven or the new earth. Not my God I, I can tell you that! Jesus is an equestrian lol 😆
@@SamBrockmann btw, what kind of witness to that if the animals don’t recover you ask? It’s a compassionate witness. It shows that Christians aren’t afraid to step out in faith no matter the results.
@@fergiefergie5759 , I am well aware of all of that. But you actually missed the point so hard that I think you may need healing for your nose.
@@fergiefergie5759 , is that what your pastor told you? Here's a question to ask yourself: "Why doesn't the power of God show up every time? What am I, as God's servant, missing?"
What's that? Build your house on the rock?
Noo.... they built it right on the sand!
There was a guy who asked me to pray for a guy who got injured bull riding. I prayed for the guy to not make stupid decisions to ride dangerous animals.
In all seriousness, wisdom and guidance and willingness to listen to God’s leading are some things I can pray for even if I otherwise don’t want to pray for a particular person or cause, LOL.
@@AhsokaJackson definitely. I prayed they would have the wisdom not to ride a man killing beast that did him dirty.
Lmao
@@breakingtheidols6531 as a avid bull riding fan I can confirm they pray right before every event
@@faiththomas1749 I think bull riding is cool but let's just be honest it's one of the dumbest things you can do. Imagine that prayer
"Lord I pray you would keep me safe from this bull that I am purposely getting on and riding even though it is clear that it doesn't like me. If it does gore me with its horn please just let it look awesome on RUclips. Amen"
My friend was like, please pray that I hit big down at the casino and don't come back home broke! I said REALLY? Hunni I hung up on her n yeah, she came home broke😭😂😭😂
The BEST comedian!!!! I can’t stop laughing!
business decision at the end😭
"Please pray that my divorce goes real good for me,"
Happy Monday John! Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle!
I've seen dogs prayed for on two separate occasions. One of the times the dog had gotten hit by a vehicle and was limping before the prayer, and running around happily immediately after the prayer. On another occasion the dog was losing a lot of weight and its fur was starting to fall out, but over the days and weeks after the prayer it was restored to full health, healthier and more energetic than it had ever been. They had been considering putting it to sleep before the prayer, but it came back 100% and then some. So for me, praying for pets doesn't feel ridiculous at all. If Jesus was willing to make extra wine for somebody's wedding, why would healing pets be off limits?
Agree! I pray for my pets without hesitation. After some thought I think it is a sign of even more faith to be coming to God even in the seemingly small things in life.
The righteous man regards the life of his beast. It’s word.
People in prayer meetings: can we also pray for my uncle’s aunt’s cousin cos he broke his toe
Me: well is he saved?
Them: no
Me: wELL wHo cArEs aBout the Toe WhAt aBoUt hiS SOULLLLLLL
What if it turns out that you are capable of living the last chapter of Mark, his toe gets healed, he wants to know why, and he becomes saved through the process of understanding how his healing worked? Of course, if you can't live the last chapter of Mark, I'm not sure what you do there...
Thank you for making me laugh! I love you!!!! Keep doing you! Your a blessing to me. I appreciate you.
Ahh I wanted to hear that last bit !!😂
Hilarious! Have been asked a ton of times to pray for someone to win the lottery.... Nah, not going to pray for that dawg
Pray that they overcome their greed lol
God isn't a sugar daddy. We serve God, not the other way around.
That was hysterical! I have a friend on Facebook that’s always asking for cryptic vague prayers. “Please pray for a friend that needs help” I’m like what? I’m no, keep scrolling. And it’s all the time! I’m all for praying but whaaaaa? Lol😂
Why do you need to know? Don't you pray in tongues, and let your spirit guide you?
I bought that Tshirt at one of your shows and I always get weird looks when I wear it.
Never thought of it like this, but yeah. Some prayer requests are just weird. Like, okay, I’ll pray for your multimillion-dollar house, but maybe I’ll pray you remember to get insurance, too?
I agree! It seems really strange to ask for prayers (publicly on FB!) for someone's safe trip to a football game or a wonderful year in college! 🤦♀️ I'm all in for sickness, loss, health issues, etc... but I'm with ya!
I just Pray for God to Bless EveryOne! He Knows what they Need! I sure don’t! I don’t always know what I Need!
"Lord, please give these people A FREAKING CLUE." That's the best you're getting from me.
If you can just change every definition to suit you argument you will never tend to lose
You're probably genuinely smart but this is a comedy channel not a conservative political commentary
John, riffing on Larry the Cable Guy's "Lord, I apologize. Be with the pygmies in New Guinea, amen". 😂 Not complaining, I like John's version and it works. Besides everyone's riffing off things done before. Doesn't make it any less funny or fresh.
~Almost every prayer on our church's prayer list is for health conditions that are directly related to eating crap food!!!~I always pray they will decide to take care of their bodies~I do not see them as victims of disease~They want prayers, but continue to eat crap, and never fast, like Jesus did & very likely advocated, which allows the body to heal~
Brilliant.
Honestly, I would absolutely pray for the sick cat or dog, but I know this is mostly just joking around anyways.
On a serious note, I actually have to remind myself sometimes to focus on prayer as a first result rather than a last one. It’s funny how we work as humans. We know who the most powerful Being in the universe is and He’s somehow NOT our default first choice? We’ll go to a dozen other sources first before covering our bases with Him? 😂 I feel lightly exasperated with myself every time I realize I’m doing that.
I will say that I’ve gotten better at making sure to pray for even the things I consider small. If it matters to me and I don’t think it’s something sinful I shouldn’t be trying to get in the first place, then it’s generally worth praying for, I figure. Though I would admittedly feel more awkward asking other folks to pray on my or another’s behalf about what I feel is minor stuff. Though maybe I should re-examine that, honestly! (-:
The karate dilemma was pretty darned funny (Please help him kick that child in the face!" 💪 Okay, fortunately that'd probably be an illegal move anyways-cue Master Chief, lol-but I get the point)🤣😅.
*Rolling
😂😂😂 Yes!!
Shows coming up in New Brunswick, Virginia Beach, West Palm, Miami, Bowling Green, Cinci, Saginaw, Indy, Shipshewana, Grand Rapids, Albuquerque, El Paso, Midland, Shreveport, Ft Worth, Fayetteville (ar), Cleveland (ms), Memphis, St. Louis, Fayetteville (nc), Charlotte, Omaha, Clear Lake (ia), and Kansas City! www.johncrisytcomedy.com
Tests, sick people, missionaries? yes
Karate tournaments? NO
I would pray for the safety of all the kids at the karate tournament. I think that would be okay.
John Crist is funny ngl
Too funny!
For context, in case anyone doesn’t understand, you really don’t ask someone to pray for your children unless something is really serious.
I've heard of people who pray about what outfits to wear everyday
I feel like no matter what denomination you belong to you have least had to pray or heard at least a couple of insignificant prayers called out.
1:38 🤣
Even though this is a repost, it's good to see John putting his actual Christian humor out there. In the last year, he's been moving further and further to the secular side.
How so?
😂😂😂
Had a child request prayer for Roblox. I just .... can't even...
😂😂😂👍🕊
You are so funny!!! God is laughing his butt off!!!
This is all true and funny and my son‘s name happens to be Skyler hahha and I definitely agree that I want the people who are in the expensive house to be safe but yes they do have an expensive house and I should not envy them. I hope they are helping others but I can’t judge them at least I should not because it is between God and them. I would definitely pray for any sick pet or animal. I love my cats like they are family for us and so I think that would be good to pray for that.
I am triggered...🤣🤣 I love cats...
Cats don't like John because he can't control them.
I'd pray for anyone's sick cat. I love my cat!
I don't pray for people apart from things that would be spiritually beneficial or actual needs people have...
My mom always asks me to pray for her house repairs. I really don't get that. What about when the power is off and it's -17°? Is that like pray I get a good parking spot? Really they should ask for prayer they don't do something they'll regret if someone takes the space first 😆
They just prayed for a dead dog at church yesterday. Wow. Lol 😂😂😂
All God's Creatures. Honestly find people who wouldn't pray for any beloved pet sad little proles. God doesn't love that.
What’s the point of praying for someone who’s already dead? Were they trying to resurrect it???
Sound too low. :(
Will you pray for my cat?
Please don't pray for me. Is all I got to say. You, however, are very funny.
~How dare you be that cold about cats.....
At a church meeting a guy asked for prayer for a sick cat. I said, “I’m not praying for your cat.”
I would pray for my cat but it seems weird to ask strangers to pray for actually anything for you.
And my car?
6 week old baby has a stronger heartbeat than Stacey ABRAMS will ever have
Dude is the funniest metro-sexual since Raj from Big Bang.
Person: can u pray for my dog
Me: yes 👍
Person: also my mother’s friend’s…
Me: NO
😆 😆
😂 😂
Exactly. I only believe there's a loving God BECAUSE animals are so adorable.
I had a friend who was sexually assaulted. I started to pray for her, then realized the god I was praying to apparently believes that a 13 year-old virgin can give her consent to be miraculously impregnated. So I gave up on praying to a statutory rapist. Seemed counter-productive.
Don’t call us Jews out like that, John!
I know these are jokes but for the hurricane just pray for the area and command that storm to dissipate in Jesus name. How do you pray? Take authority.
You know what? You are absolutely right I forgot about that, thank you for reminding me.
Pray that lives won't be lost and that the needs of those affected by the storm will be met: transportation to safety, food, shelter, clean water, and medical care. Then pray about what to cut in your own budget so you can give to relief efforts for those affected by the storm.
Sheena, you get it. Blessings to you.
Please pray for my daughter in FLA. I would appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Many Christians don't believe they have that authority. Some even think it's heresy to teach that Christians have authority.
God has made covenants with His people. One is the Abrahamic covenant which animals are part of our prosperity therefore they are to be blessed and we can claim they are healed through this covenant but always remember you have to learn your equal part in the covenant and be doing your part for the blessings to manifest. People asking you to pray for lottery tickets are asking you to pray to a false gods money and luck. Don't do it.
10th comment
Lol
Lol 4 sure!
If you’re praying to Jesus, you’re doing it wrong.
1:44....Why the awkward hopping around and hand movements??????
he's John Crist
Why be a hater of successful people?
I appreciate John's talent (he is amaze balls) but feel that he can discourage those who are seeking or are weak in their faith: God adores us and loves it when we talk to Him about ANYTHING. John portrays an uninterested God of the mundane and That's Not His Heart At All. He cares about our hang nails and worries. He is relational in the Extreme...He knows every hair on our head? That's hyper love...feels a tiny bit brainwashy. js
Trump: Want to see Biden in Prison
Biden: What makes Trump believe I would visit him in Prison
I don't think God would consider any prayer stupid or too small.
It’s a joke
He’s funny, but needs to chill on the fake laughs he’s does, it’s distracting
He's generally a funny guy but here it seems like he's legitimately on some drug. Also what's with the back wall? 😬 Not the funniest bit of his, cringe.