WHY WE'RE NOT MARRIED | Q&A
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2020
- Why we're not married + Q&A regarding marriage
Follow me on LTK to shop my daily looks! : www.liketoknow.it/delaneychilds
------------------------------
Follow me on Instagram: / delaneychilds
Follow me on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/G5uvWC/
Follow Clayton on Instagram: clayhendrx...
Send Clayton a DM on IG for any link requests :)
Follow my clothing brand here: / shopboyed
-------------------------
Delaney's Lenny Kravitz Shirt: rstyle.me/+qrO9qKG71FvQdZ4tcV...
Delaney's Flannel: rstyle.me/+Exr68-Cn--UytRY54L...
Clayton's sweater: rstyle.me/+absa0lqpQhCXYuohpP...
-------------------------
Shop my feed here: thestyledseed.com/shop/my-feed/
Shop my Poshmark here: poshmark.com/closet/delaneych...
Watch my empty house tour here: • EMPTY HOUSE TOUR!!
This was a very progressive and thoughtful response to some pretty intrusive questions. Being in the public eye is certainly not easy. ❤️
well the bottom line is...you both have great teeth.
Lol true and his mustache is fake 😂
Love this! My brother and his girlfriend have been together 8 years and they also don’t feel the need to put a label on it by getting married. At the end of the day, like Delaney said, “Commitment is commitment.” To each their own! Much love to you and Clayton ❤️
That's a very mature and undervalued way of looking at relationships and I'm glad you've shared this!!!
This really opened my eyes to an entire concept I’ve never contemplated, but really appreciate!!! Love you guys!!
Definitely don’t get married for society. I believe marriage is not just a commitment between the two people. It is a covenant between the couple and the Lord. That is the reason I believe in marriage.
I love this!!! I hate how there's this pressure from society. It's like the choice of having kids. People shouldn't be telling others to have kids or have more kids. Same with who you love. Be with you want to be with, love who you want to love, have kids or don't have kids. Our life, our choices. I love ya'll!!!!
It’s so true, you don’t need to tick off the boxes that society has set up for us in order to live a happy and fulfilling life
Yall are such a breath of fresh air especially for me who has ALWAYS felt this way about marriage.
people not taking marriage seriously has really affected the way I see marriage now
love that yall took the time to speak about this. My boyfriend and i deal with a lot of backlash when it comes to this topic (along with the living together topic), so any strong couples proving us not alone is refreshing 👏🏽
YESSS!!! I think it is so important to have this representation in relationships. I have felt this way with my partner, who I have been with for almost three years now, and there is a pressure, but I agree commitment is number one, thank you for sharing your story, seeing this be normalized makes me love the both of you and your channel more!
How funny would it have been if Clayton just proposed at the end lol
hahahah
Hahahhah
I am so excited about this!! I loved hearing everything that you had to say!
One of my favorite couples! You guys remind me of my relationship. Just enjoying each other’s company and appreciating the little things in life :)
Yesss I love that so much!
I could not resonate with a RUclips video more than this one. This topic has come up often for me as well. I am going on 8 years with my man and we are both in our early 30s. We have the exact same reasonings behind why we are not married or do not want a wedding. Our commitment to each other is timeless. Every feeling we have for each other is reciprocated by the other person and we are truly soulmates. I feel we have shared past lives together. I admire your openness with your lives and I truly can’t tell you how much I love watching your journey! Thank you guys!
Thank you so much for sharing, it’s so awesome to get to know you and Clayton better. Love you both and I’m so glad you’re happy 🤍🤍🤍
Literally what you said marriage and commitment is spot on! Commitment is commitment, marriage is not commitment! You guys are so wise and I love the way you look at life!
Awh thank you! So kind of you to say ❤️
ooh the suit idea as a wedding outfit would be so cute! loved this topic + I'm with ya on it.
Love this! So happy to find others who feel the same way I do about marriage💞
I love this becuase I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 years in nov and everyoneeeeee is always saying "when re you guys getting married? How are you not married yet? blahhhh blah"
Absolutely true! Commitment is commitment, commitment is marriage. I have been with my BF for 12 years now, have two beautiful boys together, doing life together, got a beautiful ring and we are still not married but we are HAPPY & THRIVING 💕
AYE Clayton from the BAYYYYYY. Wassup from Oakland!
This video was so powerful because it showed me that there are other ways of looking at marriage. What you said about waking up and choosing them every single day is so powerful and resonated with me.
I hope to one day find someone that makes me laugh the way that Clayton makes you laugh, watching your videos and seeing a bit of your life makes me smile 🤍🤍
awhh this is so sweet and touching of you to say thank you angel! xo
I was married and I should’ve not done it. I thought way back when I did that I would hold on to him. Now divorced and happy. I will Never marry again and settle with a commitment in faith and love. Love u guys
I love this and I love you guys! “Live and let live” is such a great phrase to live by ❤️
Ahhhhhhhh fast forward a few years and you JUST GOT A RING!!! Time does change and you won’t always have the same perspective on things. I love you guys sooooo much!!!
You know I couldn’t agree more! Love this and love you guys. ❤️
I love y’all even more for this video and explanation! My boyfriend and I are the same way and my family and some friends ask these same questions from time to time and it’s just like the presssureeee lol just let us live and be happy . What we’re doing is working very well for us and our love will be the same ! Loveee this video and so happy that y’all stand firm on what works for YALL ! Much loveeee
Love y’all! Built such an amazing life together❤️
Thank you Delaney and Clay for describing how i feel about marriage 💕
Awh happy to hear you relate!
This video made me love you guys even more!! Love what both of you said about the last name topic!
Yayy I’m binge watching y’all’s few newer vlogs spent time with my family!!! So now I get to enjoy y’all
Best video I’ve seen in a long time! You two are incredible!
my only fear of not getting married with my partner is that if any of us suffers a terrible accident, the hospital won’t let you see each other cause is only for “family” 😨
Most people have emergency contacts on file
You should look into common-law regulations wherever you live. I’m in Canada and the federal regulation is that you have to be living with a partner for a year or more to be considered common-law. Once you surpass that period then your partner would basically have all the same rights as if they were your wife or husband. You can file your taxes together, go to court to fight for half of whatever is acquired during the common-law relationship in the case that things end, and so forth.
@@alejandraguevara2018 Common law is a lot less common in the states unfortunately
Love this idea, I feel the same way! So glad you guys are normalizing by talking about it on your platform.
I kept my last name (my choice) and my son and daughter have their father’s last name. Also, you don’t have to be married for kids to have their father’s last name if that’s the name you choose. The commitment and love between the two of you is undeniable. So many people rush into marriage just to prove their love and how many marriages later. 🤔💵. Live your life as you see fit. ❤️
this video is so sweet. so with you guys on not spending money on a party - I'd rather have it go towards a home or an amazing trip. sometimes i wonder who that day is actually for / seems exhausting. you guys are so sweet and aligned - refreshing.
So true! I feel that 100%! Thanks for watching love! xo
I couldn’t love this more! I resonate with this so much too! Thank you for sharing something that seems so foreign to society!
Awh yay this makes me happy! Glad we can relate! ❤️
@Delaney Childs Me too! ❤️
i agree that commitment starts the day you start a relationship bc no one plans on the relationship ending. however, marriage is a beautiful celebration of your love that you share with those that have supported you and seen the relationship grow to what it is.
Y’all are goals! 😍
The most aesthetic last name lmaoooooo. I love y’all. Just the cutest. I swear. My fiancé never believed in marriage and never wanted to get married and then he we got together and proposed. So yeah different strokes for different folks. I definitely feel like it’s just a piece of paper too and honestly the longer we wait to get married, Idw do it either 😂. I was just in my friends wedding and it was so stressful and I didn’t know all of these things had to go into it and I’m just super anxious about it now honestly! So idk me and my fiancé will have to talk about it. We also don’t want kids 😂😂, and we’re super untraditional. Y’all remind me so much of us
Here in Canada, you can declare someone as a common law partner so you get all the legal perks of marriage without actually getting married. Great job in choosing what works for you!
Yes you can do this here too
I know I an not the only person who was waiting for an upload!
Love is love! What works for your relationship is what counts. My husband I just celebrated four years of marriage and 10 years together. I agree with you, commitment is key. I’m happy for you guys. I def feel the love watching you together ❤️❤️
Yes exactly! Love your perspective ❤️
I love listen to you guys!! Every word you say i'm like...yes, I think the same! And it's great to know there isn't just one way of thinking. Love you 🥰💗💗
Keep on being your beautiful true selves. Acts of love, support and respect in a relationship are important.
Thank you guys for this! This is exactly how my husband and I felt. But because of other reasons, we finally married after 12 years. We just signed the paper in court thing. But we never had a party.
You two are SO adorable!!💞
Thank you babe!!
I wholeheartedly resonate with both your perspectives. My now fiancé and I got engaged after being together for 8 years and our daughter was a year old at the time.
We aren’t having a wedding.
We will go to the courthouse.
For us it isn’t a spectacle, it’s a next step in our commitment journey and a symbol for our family.
Keep doing you, no pressure. People always have something to say.
Good for you! I’m happy you and your family are staying true to you. That’s so special. Sending all the love ❤️
I look up to you both SO much. I am a lot younger, but I 100% agree. So nice you openly talk about this!
I love that you made a video on this.... my partner and I have been together for 8 years, and as much as I love the thought of a wedding, marriage just doesn't make sense to me personally. My man gets it too. This video helps my confidence in explaining it to others.
Xo!
Really love your perspective of the last name topic. It’s so hard for people to understand and I think the way you’ve explain it is perfect! 🤍
Yesss!!! We’re so quick to assume the girl will conform to the boys last name but when I really think about it I think that’s a little unfair!
@@delaneychilds couldn’t agree more 👏🏼
Thanks so much for posting this. My partner and I talked about a lot of these topics before we got married. We chose to go with common law marriage because we didn't want the religious associations that come with traditional marriage. We also had long conversations about what to do about our last name - we ultimately chose the same last name because we're an interracial couple, hope to have children together one day, and don't want to deal with some of the horror stories we've heard from other interracial couples. It's so amazing that, in this day and age, we can choose the partnership structure that works for us as individual couples. Totally validating to know we aren't the only ones talking/thinking about this stuff!
What horror stories ? I’m in an interracial couple relationship
Correct me if I’m wrong but wedding is primarily a religious ceremony, that modern society turned into a financial/judicial agreement. Hence the pressure?
definitely!
I feel seen! Thank you so much for talking about this.
Love this! My partner and I get this question, especially as a Polyamorous couple where the concept of commitment is often questioned by some folks who choose traditional monogamous relationships and a legal approach to marriage. Love that you two choose to love authentically in a way that works best for you...Also, I’m a Sagittarius ♐️ so I resonated with all of Delaneys reactions/facial expressions on a spiritual level! Lol
hahah omg that makes me happy! Sag energy coming through! Love that you are living your life your way and loving your way!! xo
I feel this 100%! I’m a Cancer (Sag Moon) lol. I’m 26 & have been with my partner for years and marriage just isn’t something we think is necessary/are forcing rn. His parents are divorced and mine have been together for 20+ years. Marriage doesn’t guarantee commitment, bliss, etc. choosing your person every single day is beautiful and a great way to look at partnership
You come across like a great and happy couple, no need to change what isn’t broken x
Awh thank you! Agreed!
I enjoyed this so much!! Would you consider making more videos on your ("controversial" aka not the norm) thoughts on different aspects of life? I really like both your progressive mindsets and I'd love to hear you speak more! Maybe a podcast? :)
these 2 are my favorite people on youtube
"That's not important to us." or "We don't believe in it." Is my standard response after 10 years. My guy and I stopped hanging out with people who kept asking until they got the message.My pastor oddly enough helped me with this. He said, "who says you're not?".
My boyfriend and I are a cancer and Sagittarius too 🥰 we have been together for 6 years and the “when are you getting married” question never ends. I really loved this video & the way y’all think!
omg thank you for touching on the name thing! I hyphenated my last name (it was a compromise because my husband wanted me to have his last name, and we had a discussion and landed on this compromise and it worked well for us), and I get crap about it all the time. it baffles me to have to explain that just because I'm married, I should still have a say in my name and my identity.
"My lips are real" 😂 I'm dying girl. You two are straight angels. You didn't owe anyone this conversation, but we're all nosy these days. Lots of love and respect to you ✨.
hehe you're the best thanks for the love and good vibes
LOVE THIS!!! All of this is so true! so happy for you both!!!! Me and my boyfriend are the same!!!
I just wanted to say this video informed me on a lot and i admire you guys a lot for your views on love/marriage/commitment. I honestly thought you guys were married just from the love you guys express
Okay love love love this for you...but can you take “commitment photos” and celebrate that because I feel like you’d kill that event/style😂🥰♥️
Hahaha omg that would be so fun
Thank you for this video. It brought a piece of me back. I have been in a beautiful committed relationship for 4 years now - prior to him, my thought process was exactly what you guys explained. Lately, I have been feeling like if I don't get proposed to within the next year or so, ladies in my family circle will begin to cast judgement and place seeds of doubt in mind. It is important to my partner to get married - but this video reassured me that I shouldn't care about what others think, how long we wait bc I know how deep our love is, and that I really don't care for it to begin with so I have no reason to stress. Thank you. A beautiful morning getting ready with you two. Love and peace.
Awhh love this! Sending you a love and positivity and many years of a successful relationship ❤️
I love this. I do believe becoming a family together. I know friends that decided to take each other’s last names and their families threw a fit but they’re happy to this day.
that's amazing love to hear it!
Yes! You explained my thoughts about marriage exactly. I have no desire to be married despite being in a long-term, committed relationship. People think it's weird, but I think MARRIAGE is weird! Not only does it not mean much these days, but it's also just a strange tradition when you really think about it.
totally feel that! live and let live! I wish people wouldn't mind how others express their love!!
Having a big wedding is nice and all but at the end of the day it’s not about the wedding it’s about the marriage IF you choose to get married one day(this is going out to anyone who wants to go that route) me and my husband a year ago we’re starting to plan this nice wedding and then COVID hit and humbled us and showed that thru all the trials and tribulations as long as you have each other that’s all that really matters, so that’s what happened got married in a little chapel in our city and cruised around town and went for beers after lol 💕
Awh that’s beautiful! Wishing you guys all the love and light ✨❤️
Love this ❤️❤️
I love this explanation about commitment . Very interesting video 😄
Thank you! 😃
Why does it even matter. Your views on marriage are your views and no one else’s!! It’s really no ones business! You guys do you!! I wouldn’t even explain! Y’all love each other and that’s all that matters!
Lovedddd this video! ❤️ you two remind me of my bf and myself!
I love this and love that you put this out on the Internet especially with how many younger generations are watching these types of videos. I’m 28 and my mind has been all over the place about marriage and what is right or wrong and what I truly want in my future because of all the stigma surrounding marriage growing up and watching so many of my friends parents go through divorce as a child and then my own parents personally not to mention my grandparents being very catholic and me not so religious it was very hard to think for myself. Then even in my early 20s seeing people I grew up with starting to get engaged and marred and have babies can mess with your head a little when you are then young (or does a lot of people I think) also watching people I grew up with in my little tiny town getting married and being so confused cause I knew that they had cheated on their fiancée or their spouse right after being married! It’s so crazy to me. At this point I wouldn’t take it off the table completely but if I do get married I think I’d be well into my 40s or even 50s and it would likely have a much different meaning to me if it happens
you two are amazing !xo
awh thank you!!
Do whatever makes the two of you happy! I support it!!!!
yesss so simple!
Delany you are so well spoken about your prospective and coming from a broken family too it was so important for me to hear this message and know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Me and my boyfriend also feel no rush to tie the knot
but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a diamond lol 💍
Awhhh thank you! And yes haha we will never say no to pretty jewelry!!
Love this! Refreshing to see this perspective. Any thoughts on a common law marriage?
You guys are so cute I can’t handle.😍
I’ve been married for 3 years... 4 years ?? 😂😁😬
If I were to do it over I wouldn’t stress about it or care to get married. Obviously I’m happy and married but I totally understand your point of view and wouldn’t mind that too 🤷🏼♀️💛
You guys are so adorable!!!🥺🥰😍
I agree with your view on marriage. My parents taught us that commitment is what really matters. Crazy that all of my brothers and I each got married 10 years into our relationships and mainly because I like the idea of my family having all the same last name and immigration purposes. We don’t give the actual marriage part too much importance, we view it just as a celebration of us with family.
Love yalls relationship 🥺🥺
Loved this video and totally understand your guys’ perspective for your relationship. I think a lot of the “marriage” aspect of it for a lot of people is involved with an individual’s religion and being equally yoked under Him. Totally get where you guys are coming from though if that isn’t your lifestyle!:)
Yes exactly! Different strokes for different folks!
Makes a lot of sense! I feel like society will take a relationship more seriously if someone is your spouse rather than just your boyfriend/girlfriend... just thinking out loud.
yes I think so too! but really doesn't matter to us if society takes us seriously just if we take us seriously haha! xo
I love this ❤️
How does one get into such a perfect relationship?🥺
no relationship is perfect
I really admire you as a couple, all the things you said are very true. Many people could see this as unconventional but I don't think is anything wrong with that, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is your love for each other
So so true! Thank you love!
my boyfriend and I are going on 7 months. you guys have always reminded me of us and now im convinced we are the same
I also agree with the last name thing. If I ever get married I'm not changing my last name. Don't feel like it's necessary to be a wife. There's too much pressure to get married and have kids. I can buy my own ring and live happily ever after with me, myself and I.
Both of ya'll are two special people! Congratulations
Best to have your own minds/autonomy. I’m married 40 years, now very happy- not always tho. Men take women for granted over the years. But not when they know you could walk out at any time! Good luck guys🌈
I picture your wedding like Tuscany style vibes with your eclectic decor and style
Thank you so much sharing this girl!! 💗💗My boyfriend and I feel the exact same as you guys! You two are seriously goals! 💕
Is Clayton wearing bronzer because his cheek bones are POPPIN’ so jealous
Hahaha nope he has the best cheekbones ever!!
I live in Europe and I think that, in general, marriage is not a thing here as where you live. I think that on the other side of the ocean, that marriage, work and politics are a huge status-thing. Here it's more like 'whatever what makes u happy, what works for you'. And also, the lastname-thing, where I live, everything is possible; his name/her name/both names etc. Whatever you choose. So this video is very interesting for me to see what kind of questions you get about this topic. Love it how you explain it and break it down. I'm with you, I feel you. Love & Light from The Netherlands!!🦋🍀
ahhh that is so nice and refreshing to hear! Makes me love European lifestyle even more! Sending love to you! xo
It should be normal to not be married, I get asked all the time if my boyfriend has proposed and it’s almost like they’re insulted that he hasn’t yet...we have bought a house together and have dogs together and hopefully babies soon like marriage doesn’t define us our life and happiness define us 💕💕
Lol. My current SO did this with this his ex and actually broke up with her in the end and moved out. Not saying by any means this will happen to you, but living together guarantees nothing. A marriage contract doesn’t either, but for that you have to go through divorce etc. unfortunately I know several couples who co habitated and the relationship ended. So you can act like your married and live together but there is somewhat less of a formal commitment involved to actually leave. To each their own. I think it’s a bit of a stretch to say no one should get married...
Love this!! So many families will look down on you & push you & I am just like both of you. I love my bf with all my heart but I will not put myself or my parents in debt. It’s not worth it at the end of the day to me.
I so feel that!!! Good for you stay true to yourself!
Now they’re married 🥰❤️✨and it was beautiful
Whatever works for you guys is great I know you guys will be committed together for a long time I can tell! Been with my husband for 15 years but we’ve only been married for seven so we had basically like an eight year engagement LOL didn’t think we’d ever finally get married 🙃 but yes commitment is what matters!
My fiancé and I are experiencing the same kind of judgment but on a different topic! I have two kids from a different marriage and my fiancé loves my girls as if they were his own kids! We have decided not to have any kids together and focus on my girls and give them all the love! We face judgment all the time as to why we don’t want a kid together to celebrate our love and be more committed! I don’t need to have a kid to prove how strong my love for my fiancé is. I love my fiancé for him, not for anything other then him alone, kids or no kids, marriage or no marriage. Commitment is to the person, not what comes with that person, and that is where people get confused!
So so true!!! Do you! Stay true to yourself! Sounds like you know who you are and what you believe in and that’s amazingly powerful! ❤️