My Dutch grandmother was the queen of Dutch Directness. I have a billion examples, but the one that will stay with me forever is when she was on her deathbed (she had day's to live and was really doing badly, slipped in and out of consciousness), she looked at me and my family, who were all worried and wanted to be with her and make her comfortable in her dying moments... and she just blatently said: "No need to look at me like that, I'm not dead yet. Give it another day or so." And this was not intended jokingly, she was seriously annoyed with us and said what was on her mind. It still makes me laugh.
Hahahah. I am on floor laughing😆. I sometimes find Dutch directness hilarious.... In my mind I say, how in the world does someone say something so direct and not laugh😆.. Thanks so much for sharing this experience here, now lemme go gist my husband about this and get his reaction😆
The Dutch directness goes a long way. If it's obvious to everyone that you need help and a Dutch person offers you help, accept it. I once saw a person who had fallen and couldn't get up. A Dutch woman asked that person if she needed help getting up and they replied that they didn't need any help. So the woman just said "Ok" and went on her way, leaving that person lying there. That's also part of Dutch directness.
I think we are often direct because we like to be efficiënt and get a message across. Doesn't mean we have to be rude about it, but we also don't want to talk for hours if we can move on to something different after discussing that certain subject in a few minutes .Especially when work related. Just my opinion, Dutch greetings to ya and tx for the video 🍀
Thanks for your comment. I agree with this. Y'all just want to get to the point in 30secs😆🤣. No need to run around or mince words. Saves everyone's time I suppose 🤷♀️
It is not only directness in words. It also the way they look at you. I almost always recognize Dutch fellow citizens when I meet them abroad. Their eyes probe your brain before saying anything...
Hahahaa. I agreee😆😆. At first it was a bit difficult to get used to cos I always wondered why Dutchies would stareeeee. But now I'm used to it and I stareeeee too😆😆😆
As Dutch people often say: "If you don't want an honest answer, you shouldn't ask the question." I really like that about Dutch culture. As someone who is moving to Japan soon, I really had to get used to all the "maaaayyyybe", "hmmm, difficult" and just head tilts over there, that in reality just mean "no". Then again, as a foreigner, you can sometimes push through that, because if you don't take the hint and just keep standing at their desk or something, they might just do it anyway to get rid of the awkward situation. (I'm not saying you should disrespect them... I only noticed that this happened afterwards.)
Thanks so much for sharing this Toeps . I’ve admired the Dutch directness and appreciate it more because I’ve experienced a different culture where being ‘polite’ is the norm and hunnnaaayyy Being direct is still better for me🤗. I’m glad you’re able to experience another culture in Japan and you’re adapting more and more ( I like that you’re already finding your way around using the system to your advantage , smart girl😎😆). Anyway thanks so much for your comment 🤗
japanese people man... i love them but sometimes it's so hard. i work with japanese people and sometimes i have to be direct with them but i always feel like i'm stomping on their soul 😢
What if you thought that your way of doing things isn't the supreme one after all. What if it's just one of multiple ways of doing things, and you are in no position to put your ways above anyone else's, even if you happen to think that it's so self evidently the best way of doing it.
Thank you for appointing that people shouldn't be offended or take it personal. We are direct but honest. Even my best friends can say to me: "I don't like your shoes" And thats okay! I'd rather have a friend who is honest, but is not lying to my face to make me feel good. Because then you're living a lie and have friends who are not sincere.
I read the book 'The culture map' I think it shows Dutch culture very well in the context of work environment. One thing you mentioned about Dutch people being offended by directness the book describes with an example of a Korean manager who thought the best way to deal with the Dutch directness is to also be very direct to his employees in return. The Dutch employees were offended by that. I think that is because for me as a Dutch person I only appreciate directness if it is from someone I am close to. Because if I know them I value their opinion but if I don't know them I might be offended by that. I think that is the difficulty of culture, if you are not fully immersed in it you can misjudge the proper situation when to be direct and people can still be offended.
I like people being direct to me, because even when maybe it is hurtfull, I will know you are an honest person. I don't like two faced people that say one thing but clearly mean something else. That to me is disrespectfull no mater what your age or rank is.
I agree with you. Being direct definitely has its benefits and I like directness too. But some cultures are a bit different and I've seen some people struggle to adapt to the Dutch directness.
Really enjoyed your comment about African Mama’s , if you feel a bit homesick and want to experience the ultimate form, just get to know an elderly Surinamese woman who has lived in The Netherlands for most of her live. They are queens and rule their family with an iron hand. Believe me I known from first hand experience. My mother in law wasn’t a bad person but she always said exactly what she wanted and most of the time got her way in everything.
I think the Dutch are polite generally but there are situations where the directness comes across as mean... for example inthis video. ruclips.net/video/uIkgCbljJys/видео.html On the other hand, english has "registers" i.e. a code of appropriateness. Technically, if a Dutchie has to speak in Engels, the unwritten aspects of it must follow as language is a primary vehicle of culture...
We don't like sugarcoating because it delays solving a situation. We tell you what we think you need to hear, but we are usually willing to help you solve it. But if you react badly to the truth we will walk away.. untill you come to your senses. In that sense we are goal driven, we listen, we care, but we don't do bs for bs sake
As soon as you mentioned Africans mamas I thought about ‘Ake: the years of childhood’ by Wole Soyinka. How he described his mother gave me an idea of African mamas.
Hi Nambasaa, It depends on your reason for wanting to come to Holland. You need to have a reason and then apply for a visa or a residence card based on that reason. It could be to visit, to work or to join your partner/family member.
Hi,thanks for this..I enjoy watching your videos..Am also planning to relocate from Poland to Netherlands for my Msc and probably get a job there and settle there too..but am having problems in choosing a university where I can study Supply chain management and logistics...Can you help me make that decision?Am Nigerian..
Hi Chima, Dutch schools are great and rank high in world university rankings, so to be honest most schools will work fine in that aspect. However it will also be nice to consider the cities too… some cities are a bit more student friendly and fun than others. So I would say, choose any university that works for you in terms of cost and course modules, then consider the location of the university too.
@@josphineogugua thanks a lot..please is there any platforms where i can communicate with you for directions..I really need a guidance from someone in Netherlands..
This is interesting. I know the Dutch society is not hierarchical but I didn't know that being direct came from that too... Thank you for your comment 🤗
@@josphineogugua You often can refer it to the geological situation, which in the Netherlands is of course about keeping the feet dry. Nobody, whatever his or her position is, can keep away the water on your own unless you can count on the cooperation and means of the people who live with you. That means that hierarchy is considered relative, and being to the point helps everyone to take action when needed… in case the water will flood the land.
As you have lived in Britain previously Josephine probably you agree with this: "English are too polite to be honest, whereas Dutch are too honest to be polite." Naturally I prefer the latter, why would you snake around the truth?
Funny you should compare the Dutch directness and the Nigerian aunties. Not being a direct person myself I still feel shocked sometimes at what comes out of people's mouths here. But come to think of it it cannot top the verbal aggressiveness I did observe growing up in Lagos area that just seemed commonplace or even often was meant as jest.
I get that and appreciate it..... but english comes with its bar of politeness/appropriateness.. it is called registers. So a Dutchman who says something in Engels that is taken as offensive or rude cannot really claim directness since the language carries a different culture of expressing oneself
@@josphineogugua yes. Directness is a form of honesty. If you don't say something because you don't want to offend me. I find that really offensive. Just be honest and direct with kind words that for every one better. And when I go to another country I will accept their culture so if they have a culture of being dishonest then that's something else. But if they come here they can at least try to be honest and direct.
Just discovered your channel. Interesting topics. The Dutch are mostly direct in a very negative way. They are very direct and quick to dish out negative comments and opinions, especially with regards to immigrants. They are never direct in giving compliments or saying something positive. It is a directness to disguise outright meanness. I find it rather mean and disgruntled. It's never positive. I have dealt with them for years.
there is no use in this context to describe yourself as "african." The nigerians of lagos are the most agressive people i ever met (though the last few years something has changed). generally speaking they would find the dutch incredibly friendly. you can't compare that to people from lusaka, for instance, who might be shocked about what a dutch person says.
You are funny...wher is your kid. Little nice kid. Buy him a dog. ONLY IF ITS FOR EVER. Dont take a dog away from a child. You have a other child with a dog.
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My Dutch grandmother was the queen of Dutch Directness. I have a billion examples, but the one that will stay with me forever is when she was on her deathbed (she had day's to live and was really doing badly, slipped in and out of consciousness), she looked at me and my family, who were all worried and wanted to be with her and make her comfortable in her dying moments...
and she just blatently said: "No need to look at me like that, I'm not dead yet. Give it another day or so."
And this was not intended jokingly, she was seriously annoyed with us and said what was on her mind. It still makes me laugh.
Hahahah. I am on floor laughing😆. I sometimes find Dutch directness hilarious.... In my mind I say, how in the world does someone say something so direct and not laugh😆..
Thanks so much for sharing this experience here, now lemme go gist my husband about this and get his reaction😆
The Dutch directness goes a long way. If it's obvious to everyone that you need help and a Dutch person offers you help, accept it. I once saw a person who had fallen and couldn't get up. A Dutch woman asked that person if she needed help getting up and they replied that they didn't need any help. So the woman just said "Ok" and went on her way, leaving that person lying there. That's also part of Dutch directness.
Okayyyy. Didn't know this though. Thanks for sharing 🤗
I litteraly did that a few weeks ago. Whats direct about it?
@@armeniapower It shows that Dutch people do not engage in stupid games out of false politeness. We don't waste our time by beating around the bush.
@@williamgeardener2509 ik blijf het normaal vinden…
@@armeniapower Omdat het normaal is in Nederland....
I think we are often direct because we like to be efficiënt and get a message across. Doesn't mean we have to be rude about it, but we also don't want to talk for hours if we can move on to something different after discussing that certain subject in a few minutes .Especially when work related. Just my opinion, Dutch greetings to ya and tx for the video 🍀
Thanks for your comment. I agree with this. Y'all just want to get to the point in 30secs😆🤣. No need to run around or mince words. Saves everyone's time I suppose 🤷♀️
It is not only directness in words. It also the way they look at you. I almost always recognize Dutch fellow citizens when I meet them abroad. Their eyes probe your brain before saying anything...
Hahahaa. I agreee😆😆. At first it was a bit difficult to get used to cos I always wondered why Dutchies would stareeeee. But now I'm used to it and I stareeeee too😆😆😆
Thank you for always sharing your experience sis! You are so beautiful ❤️
Thank you soo much. With sharing my experience, I feel excited cos I might just be helping someone else out🤗
As Dutch people often say: "If you don't want an honest answer, you shouldn't ask the question." I really like that about Dutch culture. As someone who is moving to Japan soon, I really had to get used to all the "maaaayyyybe", "hmmm, difficult" and just head tilts over there, that in reality just mean "no". Then again, as a foreigner, you can sometimes push through that, because if you don't take the hint and just keep standing at their desk or something, they might just do it anyway to get rid of the awkward situation. (I'm not saying you should disrespect them... I only noticed that this happened afterwards.)
Thanks so much for sharing this Toeps . I’ve admired the Dutch directness and appreciate it more because I’ve experienced a different culture where being ‘polite’ is the norm and hunnnaaayyy Being direct is still better for me🤗.
I’m glad you’re able to experience another culture in Japan and you’re adapting more and more ( I like that you’re already finding your way around using the system to your advantage , smart girl😎😆).
Anyway thanks so much for your comment 🤗
japanese people man... i love them but sometimes it's so hard. i work with japanese people and sometimes i have to be direct with them but i always feel like i'm stomping on their soul 😢
What if you thought that your way of doing things isn't the supreme one after all. What if it's just one of multiple ways of doing things, and you are in no position to put your ways above anyone else's, even if you happen to think that it's so self evidently the best way of doing it.
I love your energy! So vibrant :) good luck with your channel!
Thank you for appointing that people shouldn't be offended or take it personal.
We are direct but honest.
Even my best friends can say to me: "I don't like your shoes"
And thats okay!
I'd rather have a friend who is honest, but is not lying to my face to make me feel good.
Because then you're living a lie and have friends who are not sincere.
I read the book 'The culture map' I think it shows Dutch culture very well in the context of work environment. One thing you mentioned about Dutch people being offended by directness the book describes with an example of a Korean manager who thought the best way to deal with the Dutch directness is to also be very direct to his employees in return.
The Dutch employees were offended by that. I think that is because for me as a Dutch person I only appreciate directness if it is from someone I am close to. Because if I know them I value their opinion but if I don't know them I might be offended by that.
I think that is the difficulty of culture, if you are not fully immersed in it you can misjudge the proper situation when to be direct and people can still be offended.
I like people being direct to me, because even when maybe it is hurtfull, I will know you are an honest person. I don't like two faced people that say one thing but clearly mean something else. That to me is disrespectfull no mater what your age or rank is.
I agree with you. Being direct definitely has its benefits and I like directness too. But some cultures are a bit different and I've seen some people struggle to adapt to the Dutch directness.
@@josphineogugua culture is always the hardest to change, but once it is changed they don't wanna go back to their old ways
Being direct creates transparency.
Really enjoyed your comment about African Mama’s , if you feel a bit homesick and want to experience the ultimate form, just get to know an elderly Surinamese woman who has lived in The Netherlands for most of her live. They are queens and rule their family with an iron hand. Believe me I known from first hand experience.
My mother in law wasn’t a bad person but she always said exactly what she wanted and most of the time got her way in everything.
I am Dutch but live in the US, you are amazing, such beautiful energy 😘
Thank you so much Willem 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Snel weer terug naar holland dan
Will definitely align well amongst the Dutch cos this is so me even as a Nigerian.. Nigerian aunties don’t like me😂😂. Love it 🥰
As in ehhh sisss. The no nonsense girlll🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think the Dutch are polite generally but there are situations where the directness comes across as mean... for example inthis video.
ruclips.net/video/uIkgCbljJys/видео.html
On the other hand, english has "registers" i.e. a code of appropriateness. Technically, if a Dutchie has to speak in Engels, the unwritten aspects of it must follow as language is a primary vehicle of culture...
You would not have wished to be me with my mum's 'directness' lol
A good recap. keep it coming! x
Hahahaha. Thank you mummilina 🥰🥰🥰
We don't like sugarcoating because it delays solving a situation. We tell you what we think you need to hear, but we are usually willing to help you solve it. But if you react badly to the truth we will walk away.. untill you come to your senses.
In that sense we are goal driven, we listen, we care, but we don't do bs for bs sake
Hahahaha laughed so hard! Welcome in the Netherlands🍀.
Coming from a background where everyone is very direct and blunt, I’m yet to see the bluntness of Netherlanders o
Exactly my point babe😆😆😆😆.
Same
Nailed it ! --> coming from a Dutchy ;-)
Thank youu😆🤗
As soon as you mentioned Africans mamas I thought about ‘Ake: the years of childhood’ by Wole Soyinka. How he described his mother gave me an idea of African mamas.
Hahahaha. Ohhh Yessss😆
Thanks dear for the work you are doing now me am Ugandan but am just asking is it very easy to come to Holland
Hi Nambasaa,
It depends on your reason for wanting to come to Holland. You need to have a reason and then apply for a visa or a residence card based on that reason. It could be to visit, to work or to join your partner/family member.
Thank you. Well don. I see it the same.
Greetings from a Dutchie.🇳🇱🌷
Thank you for your comment 💕💕💕Greetings from me too🙌🏾
Hi,thanks for this..I enjoy watching your videos..Am also planning to relocate from Poland to Netherlands for my Msc and probably get a job there and settle there too..but am having problems in choosing a university where I can study Supply chain management and logistics...Can you help me make that decision?Am Nigerian..
Hi Chima,
Dutch schools are great and rank high in world university rankings, so to be honest most schools will work fine in that aspect. However it will also be nice to consider the cities too… some cities are a bit more student friendly and fun than others. So I would say, choose any university that works for you in terms of cost and course modules, then consider the location of the university too.
@@josphineogugua thanks a lot..please is there any platforms where i can communicate with you for directions..I really need a guidance from someone in Netherlands..
@@bethelchima8845 Sure. DM me on instagram @d_beautyengineer
The 'Am Nigerian' makes it look like a scam :D sorry Dutch humor
Tilburg University or TU/e
Love the explanation
In Dutch culture being direct comes with the egalitarian (or anti-hierarchical) mentality.
This is interesting. I know the Dutch society is not hierarchical but I didn't know that being direct came from that too... Thank you for your comment 🤗
@@josphineogugua You often can refer it to the geological situation, which in the Netherlands is of course about keeping the feet dry. Nobody, whatever his or her position is, can keep away the water on your own unless you can count on the cooperation and means of the people who live with you. That means that hierarchy is considered relative, and being to the point helps everyone to take action when needed… in case the water will flood the land.
@@PrinceWalacra thanks for sharing I find it really interesting knowing more about the Dutch history 🤗
@@josphineogugua i think it got a lot to do with our Calvinistic lifestyle
@@michielvdvlies3315 okayyy... How so?
One can be direct, polite and respectfull all at once :)
I agree🤗
And the Dutch choose to be direct, rude and disrespectful all at once :D
@@e.g.4483😂
As you have lived in Britain previously Josephine probably you agree with this: "English are too polite to be honest, whereas Dutch are too honest to be polite." Naturally I prefer the latter, why would you snake around the truth?
The English are two faced
Funny you should compare the Dutch directness and the Nigerian aunties. Not being a direct person myself I still feel shocked sometimes at what comes out of people's mouths here. But come to think of it it cannot top the verbal aggressiveness I did observe growing up in Lagos area that just seemed commonplace or even often was meant as jest.
Over 17 million people live in the Netherlands, and each of them is different.
I agree with you. Everyone is different.
This is just me giving my opinion about the culture in general.
Ok, let's admit it: we secretly do take pride in taking it a bit towards rudeness ... Especially if Germans or Americans are involved.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for your honesty🤣
I am dutch ...we are direct because we dont like fake People therefore.....not like so called fake nice people
I get that and appreciate it..... but english comes with its bar of politeness/appropriateness.. it is called registers. So a Dutchman who says something in Engels that is taken as offensive or rude cannot really claim directness since the language carries a different culture of expressing oneself
Not to be rude but it takes a long time and many words in this video to come to the point.
Make a video on how much they pay on various blue collars jobs please?
I want to study in Netherland.. please I need your assistant
Okay.:. What do you need?
I am Dutch and I find it very rude if people aren't direct.
Even when those people are not Dutch?
@@josphineogugua yes. Directness is a form of honesty. If you don't say something because you don't want to offend me. I find that really offensive. Just be honest and direct with kind words that for every one better.
And when I go to another country I will accept their culture so if they have a culture of being dishonest then that's something else. But if they come here they can at least try to be honest and direct.
11:03 Great body language (just to be ditrect :)
Just discovered your channel. Interesting topics. The Dutch are mostly direct in a very negative way. They are very direct and quick to dish out negative comments and opinions, especially with regards to immigrants. They are never direct in giving compliments or saying something positive. It is a directness to disguise outright meanness. I find it rather mean and disgruntled. It's never positive. I have dealt with them for years.
Both , Josephine ...BOTH !
Alsay very open..
Excuse my directness thats a dangerous clothpiece
Amsterdam people are rude , Dutch people are nice !!!
😂😂😂
there is no use in this context to describe yourself as "african." The nigerians of lagos are the most agressive people i ever met (though the last few years something has changed). generally speaking they would find the dutch incredibly friendly. you can't compare that to people from lusaka, for instance, who might be shocked about what a dutch person says.
A lott. The dont want to no. The goverment didnt want to no. We want to trade ...evrn eith the rhe devil to make a deall.
Go to Google earth . GHANA. Street vieuw. The slaveford from the dutch.
Start talking about sex...
You are funny...wher is your kid. Little nice kid. Buy him a dog. ONLY IF ITS FOR EVER. Dont take a dog away from a child. You have a other child with a dog.