3 UPDATES: 5 Days Before The Wedding my Fiancee's Best Friend Approaches me & Tells me The Kid...
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- 3 UPDATES: 5 Days Before The Wedding my Fiancee's Best Friend Approaches me & Tells me The Kid Might Not be Mine so I Got The DNA Done & Found Out She Was Lying Just so She Can Postpone The Wedding Bcuz of THIS????
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My fiance's jealous best friend tried to ruin our relationship. I'm so glad I trusted my instincts and relationships before believing her lies.
I got engaged to my fiance after 6 years of dating. We're the kind of people who never really wanted to get married in the first place, so we were happy with just being together. We moved in together after a year of dating and have been living together ever since. Two years ago, my fiance became pregnant unexpectedly. We weren't planning to have kids anytime soon, but both of us ended up being happy about it and we were excited to start a family together.
#aitareddit #redditaita #reddit #relationships #aita
Story 1: I’m sorry I don’t understand the YTA. If my husband said, hey could we have a paternity test, I’d say suuuuure. Then laugh all the way to the test because my son looks exactly like him. Why is it such a big deal? Why do people make it such a big deal? Why do people make it about trust. Never heard of trust but verify? Good words to live by.
I am myself going to propose a prenatal test the day I might become a father. Not due to distrust but that it will be easier if something goes wrong during the delivery that I have papers proving I am the father in case my girlfriend (marriage isn't that common in Sweden) would either pass away or get into a coma.
Paternity tests should be mandatory prior to signing the birth certificates.
Oh F off with the YTA on story 1! That was his partner's BEST FRIEND! This wasn't some guy friend of his who put an idea into his head. This was her best friend with a somewhat plausible story. The most awesome trusting clear-headed man in the world would be suspicious. And let's stop pretending that people in long term relationships don't cheat. Or that women cheat period. FFS women in long term relationships cheat. Men in long term relationships cheat. People cheat. BF even said that she got drunk and slept with some random guy. To US, as the readers of the story and who have been let in on the ending, think the guy is an AH for not trusting his wife and not being suspicious of the BF but come the F on! This is the woman who is the godmother of their child FFS! Of course he's suspicious now and wondering about everything. His first problem was going on a site like Reddit though. Huh. Maybe the children of Reddit should be a little more thoughtful in giving their advice and comments. He could have done the paternity test secretly, then talked to his partner, but for crying out loud, of course he did the test. The women and children of Reddit need to get off their high horse and realize that paternity fraud is not as uncommon as they think.
Exactly! There was a lot of trust between all of them. What do you (Reddit) want him to do? Not do anything and let this fester for years until it blows up after the marriage assuming the "friend" kept pushing the issue? He did the test, admitted to his wife, explained why, and at least kept up communication with his so-to-be wife. AND (according to him) HE FELT BAD THE ENTIRE TIME! He did not do it out of spite.
The only Asshole is the former friend.
Well they are calling him an AS but if the story ended in what the snake friend had told him it would be like this "get a paternity test". People tend to forget that no matter how wonderful things may seem and how much trust and faith you have put in your partner, you CANNOT control them. You cannot control the future. I ve seen similar stories like this in my family: SHE/HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT. But they did do "that". Relationship rules are not set in stones
@@Hillwisekid Okay good. I'm not crazy then. The level of trust people (Rewddit) expect a MALE SO to have is unbelievable! Yet, the minute a woman goes on there and says she saw her husband of 10 years on his phone at dinner, they're all like, 'oh girl, he's cheating!' Just so damn tired of this.
Stop giving “brother leach” money. I’d go so far as to contact his fiancé & “apologize”: “I’m sorry that I can’t lend my brother money for your honeymoon. I’ve already lent him over $9k & my parents $30k. He’s shown that he’s irresponsible with money & I will no longer find his or my parent’s irresponsibility.”
Op, I hope you have an iron clad will as well as documents preventing any of your family from gaining access to your children and from making any medical decisions about you.
In your will name each relative, the amount you lent them & state “Since these “loans” were never repaid this last will & testament proclaims the unpaid loan is all they’ll receive.”
Story 1, the friend is only sorry because she was confronted and now in trouble. She's NOT sorry for what she did and that's shown when she tried to make one last attempt at their relationship with the paternity test jab. I would just explain what the witch's horrible actions to everyone and just sit back to watch them chew the witch out. That's the least she deserves for actually attempting to break their relationship just because of jealousy. After everything she's done plus the jab she has no right to ask for forgiveness, she knew what she did was beyond wrong and yet still did it. If she didn't want to ruin her friendships she should have thought about that before she attempted to break them up out of jealousy. So she can go cry all she wants but it's HER fault that she is no longer a friend, godmother, and hated.
story one happens so often. which a jealous best friend will lie to try and ruin a relationship it been several of those stories popping up on Reddit the last 2 years. the friend also knew intimate details about the relationship so she could manufacture a story that is believe the best lies have a bit of truth sprinkled in.
If anyone came up and said the person I was going to get married to has possibly have cheated and my kid could not be mine I would check it out,way too many people are cheaters and can hide it good. I could miss the red flags easily.
Christy may think she loves you. She probably thought she could “comfort” you & catch you on the rebound.
I never understood why women get so upset about paternity results. I'm a woman. I wouldn't be insulted about it if there wasn't gaslighting and emotional abuse going on with it. I think they should just make it a requirement. If women have nothing to hide it wouldn't be an issue. If it was a requirement for the protection of all, meaning Dads, babies genetic health, and mothers from being abandoned trying to track down a guy for the guy only claiming the kid, not theirs, and waiting for court-ordered paper which takes forever. You can be offended about being called a liar in something less serious. I wonder how many men out there are caring for children not biologically theirs with the men having no idea. Men cheat, but so do women. A new study shows:
57% of men overall admit to committing infidelity at some point in their lives. 54% of women overall admit to committing infidelity in one or more of their relationships.
There has been a longstanding stigma that only men cheat and it needs to go away.
Story 1: I don't think that getting a DNA is a big deal...they should be mandatory anyway. I do think that OP's fiancée 's "best friend" is wrong and out of pocket.
Pretty sure the comment blaming op was probably a woman who did that to her husband and was offended
I can understand things that could be from her PoV. He didn't trust her and took things into his own hands.
But honestly, can you blame him? Things 'seemed' to line up with the friend's story and he wanted absolute proof to ease his mind.
Either way, yeah, agreed. Make paternity tests mandatory. Save everyone some time and spare them heartache, end the scamming as well.
If your significant other's best friend tells you something you would probably believe it who else would know secrets if not the best friend
Ok I get the fiance was hurt due to ther plant of doubt n such but if you got nothing to hide n in order to prove who's lying just do the test. Good thing they got rid of the toxic "friend" and they happily married
Story 1: I don't blame the OP for all of sudden having doubts with his Fiancé/Wife, after all if her best friend all of the sudden says "Your Finance cheated" I would be willing to believe them, but the fact that she didn't provide proof was a red flag and now it seems like its bit the ex best friend in the ass
I agree but a) how many ppl would break up with their partner just because someone told them "he/she is cheating" and how many times Reddit would should "LEAVE HIM/HER " ?
B) What kind of evidence could be provided if it had been true?
She had enough info to provide doubt. The fact the gf does go out and didn't come home that night gives validity to the story. Personally, I'd understand where he was coming from and would be pushing for him to get the test just to rub it in her face. My anger would be directed at her. Not him.
@@robertx8020 if the dna test came back negative, it would make the story the friend spun true. The fact it didn't is probably why he ended up trusting his gf over the friend and confronting her.
@@Rhaenarys A negative test doesn't mean she didn't cheat of have sex..it only means the baby wasn't from the affair partner
Sex doesn't equal 'gettig pregnamt
@@robertx8020 yes...I thought you were asking what evidence could prove she cheated?
Story 1- I don't think I would have ever told anyone that I got the DNA test. If my fiancee wanted to do one just to settle things with her ex-friend, fine. In addition, I would have told the friend that when the baby turned out to have Down's Syndrome we both had chromosomal analysis, so the testing was already done (there is a genetic form of Down's that is not random, and the mother is usually quite young), so why was she lying to my face.
Good morning
First story: OP had every right to get a paternity test to put any doubts to rest. This gave him even more ammunition against Christie's lies. Hope he & his fiancee' have a long & happy marriage.
And his fiancee has the right to be hurt by his lack of trust too. He is not entitled to shit over her like that or to her being okay with that.
Last story: if he can't afford to pay for a honeymoon, how is he going to support a wife and later a family. Those that criticize you should be the first to donate to the cause because donation is what it is because he certainly has no intention of paying it back. If I was his future wife I would run now while you still can.
You’ve lent your money to your brother before, and he hasn’t even paid you for most of it, honeymoons don’t have to be expensive
Never underestimate a woman's ability to betray her friends for drama and jealousy.
It always ends up being the best friend.
Getting every kid the same gift is.... just....bizarre.
You could get a hotel room & give her the clothes but giver her the other gifts before the family event.
Does the family think every child should get participation trophies? There should be no winners at the science fair? No blue ribbons at county fairs?
As long as your daughter doesn’t gloat about the gifts I think you should give her whatever you want.
S2 NTA time to cut off the ATM it's not like he grows up and realizes how to be a man. Agree with them your a terrible sister and since your so terrible they don't need you, cut them out and go NC. You have all the legal papers you need, get your money back after they're gone. Your brothers financial issues aren't your problem.
I think given the circumstances and all of the factors involved, it's very understandable to have doubt and want a paternity test. I personally would be pissed at my best friend and would push for one myself just to throw it in her face. And if she tried to throw the "well your relationship must not be strong if he got a paternity test," I wouldn't be crying because she's right. I'd be crying because of what an awful person she is and how she's trying to destroy my happiness out of jealousy.
Paternity testing should be mandatory. Lineage is a matter of FACT, not trust.
Paternity tests should be mandatory 100% of the time.
I don’t think you’re a hole for getting the pregnancy test, and as soon as you find out, you told your fiancé the real issue in this relationship is Christie go no contact with her. You’re gonna be jealous of people, but you don’t harm the relationship because of it. I hope you and your fiancé still get married.
Story 1: NTA she brought in the trouble to the relationship
When the best friends ( snake in the grass or not) says it may not be yours get the test. I would have already
The psycho bride's maid may have been the MOH and the bride's best friend ONCE UPON A TIME but it sounded like the bride was trying to put space between bride and groom by any means possible. I know with my trust issues I would most certainly tell the MOH to bugger off and leave me and my friends and family alone. Completely disowning her and her allies for their treacheries/deceptions and lies.
S2, Op please spend Christmas day with your daughter ,you have already missed 10 years of her life and that means you need to get to know your daughter before you get her a present or you could ask her mother if she needs/wants anything in particular for Christmas .If her mother isn't around ask your daughter what she needs/wants in particular and spend the first Christmas day with your daughter as one on one parental time and get to really know her ,if she doesn't want a big Christmas present ,you could take her shopping for clothes ,electronic devices or a movie night ,theme park days ,but do something both of you can enjoy together .NTA
Good lord, some people are ridiculous. They act like they're part of some archaic tribe or belong to some deranged hippy commune like Jonestown, where everyone is equal and dependent on members of the tribe to survive. The Sister, sounds like a DINGBAT . Not everyone makes the same amount of money, some make less and some a whole lot more, dependent on education, ability, ambition and drive. Sis thinks he must sacrifice the happiness or well being of his IMMEDIATE family to make her kid feel better. He needs to tell her she can go on prioritizing her kid over her sibling's kids, that's as it should be, but he intends to prioritize his child over hers.
Why are the LEECHES always "the good guys" and those who they STEAL FROM.. "the villains?? Here is the Fix.. skip LC.. and go NC!! EVER!! Move on! DEADBEATS SUCK!
Story 1: calling off a wedding over this would be really extreme
Why call off the wedding because the best friend trick you guys. Why get upset because of a paternity test?? Your relationship is being tested and it is the best time to be strong and stick together. Don’t let that jealous friend win
Story 1: I disagree with opinion. NTA.
A man has to protect himself. This very RUclips channel has told enough stories of women committing paternity fraud. You just want men to move through life like ignorant idiots?
The guy handled it perfectly. He didn't accuse his wife of anything to her face or yell or scream. He calmly found out the FACTS. Once he got the facts, he was fully transparent with his wife.
This is perfect execution.
S1: OP is NTA 100000%. Imagine your spouse's best friend telling you something so evil and vile about your spouse, anyone with a sane mind will have all kinds of doubts and thoughts. And above all the timing of when his spouse was missing on birthday was even more a reason to be suspicious. One mistake what OP did was not confronting or talking with his Fiancée. Well, anyway "All is well that ends well". Going forward OP should learn to have open conversation and communicate well with his spouse. Christie on the other hand had found the weakness in your partnership and wanted to exploit your relationship using that weakness.
Story 2) NTA Its your child. You've already lost 10yrs of her life and if you want to give her a grand Christmas thats your choice. Why should your kid suffer because the other siblings can't afford to buy for there kids. Story 3) Why do parents think the older siblings should care for the younger ones. If they want him to have a grand honeymoon let them support him. Why do family think they chime in but can't put up. If he can't afford a honeymoon she should run. Cut them off and stop lending money.
S1 NTA your daughter is your priority so have you own Christmas first and then with your family and respect very their tradition because your daughter is going to have to live with you and your family.
Story 1... the yta definitely never been to reddit, too many posts about men being married with "loving" wives for many years, before they find out the children aren't theirs...
I honestly think all couple who give birth should have a paternity test. It should just be a routine test done for legality reasons. I mean if you trust the other person there shouldn’t be any reason why you object. This would cut out all those ppl trying to trap someone into paying for a child that’s not theirs.
Can anyone explain to my apparently dumb ass why the OP in story 1 got in trouble with his wife and had to apologize. It would be extremely foolish of someone to just blindly trust anyone in their life even if they consider that person a life partner. And especially after receiving info like that from one of the closest people to her. I thought he act extremely rationally. He didn't fly off the handle and do anything extreme like kick her out or break up etc. And he handled his business in a way that no one could interfere or lie to him so he could get the truth. Those "how could you doubt me, I thought you loved me" people are either extremely naive or liars.
Family does not have to help family out, especially when family is an asshole about it. That is just an excuse. People use oh your family you have to help me. No they do not and Latos families can’t help you and her brother still owes her a lot of money. That was a nice compromise. She gave them, but it wasn’t good enough for them.
S3, Op your older brother should be helping you out ,instead it's the youngest child who is supporting the family members with money troubles ,Op please draw up a contract and let your brother and parents sign it in a lawyers office with the clerks and lawyer as witness to them signing that they will pay all money due to you at an affordable rate per month I told the debt is repaid .NTA
Story 1: YTA commenter, you are lucky that you haven't been or met anyone that lose their dad/brother after they found out that the kids that they've loved for so many years were not their own and they were chosen to be the "dad" cause they were a "better" option. Sigh, Ignorance sure is bliss.
S3: OP should make sure to get her money back from the parents and the brother, regardless of what happens to their relationship. Good for OP to stand up against the relatives who wanted to poke their nose in others a$$.
Final story: Pull the loans and force repayment of both the brother and the parents loans and then when the last penny hits your accounts walk off into the sunset middle fingers held high. The Bank of OP is now closed and all of the loans have come due! The flying monkeys can feel free to help speed up the repayment process from their own personal piggy banks!
I’m confused why would you treat your child the same as everyone else’s child in the family since you have not had access to her this whole time. How bizarre of the extended family.
Story one, guy is not an ahole. He succumbed to every mans fear. That he was not good enough for her. It is not that she might have cheated. He knew she did not, but his fear that he was not good enough and she might have left him for another man.. over ride his sane mind. If he really believed she cheated, he would have confronted her right away. But he did not, he was scared that he would lose her, because he wasnt good enough. Women do not understand this with men. They seem to think we are strong. You know what makes use strong? Our partners. I have been married for 29 years and I can say for a fact if someone told me a story as she did, I would be terrified. Not that she cheated, but that the woman I loved didnt think I was good enough anymore. No, hes NTA, he was just scared and did something stupid.
I just wish these people would just get to the point . This ain't exactly Dostoyevsky .
Love him find help move his number urgency this is not one of those times. If he’s a golden child, they can pay for it.
I understand trying to be fair with kids and gifts but kids also need to learn that sometimes someone gets a better gift than them. It’s a teaching moment and it’s a kids first Christmas. Of course you’d want to spend a little more on your kids clothes and one toy how about toys and one clothes
Paternity test should be automatic at birth, than all concerned parties know where they stand.
So is this a case of it being the ONLY gifts the kids get or just what they are given at the family gathering?
In The last story your sister should go okay I'll give you the money for the honeymoon but the check will be right on out to the fiance and she needs to be there and you need to explain to her how much you owe me and this is just adding on to your det and see what happens after that
The other family members can get their kids their own gifts this year then if I was a kid and they went by a list of what toys to give I would not want the same toys as everyone else see why people do it but I think it’s unfair to the kids
People who tell the dad they can’t do a paternity test need to grow up and mind their own business
Get a new godmother
story one I know we got the warning beforehand that the "best friend" was lying but as soon as she said the gf had talked to the man she "cheated with" and he warned her the baby would have downs I knew that was a lie
Story 1: dude stop legitimizing the concept that a parent verifying paternity is some form of betrayal. Test-shaming men is how so many men are raising other men's children
It is not "Test shaming" it is reality. I don't know what you don't get about If the first time a woman is being questioned about taking a paternity test is when she's pregnant or already has the child it comes off as an accusation of cheating, now it is absolutely right to get a paternity test for each and every one of your children; but it needs to be in the same discussion as the number of/if you want children. After that point it's on you to decide if knowing is more important than the relationship because whether you're right or wrong it's over
Fiance kind of dug her own grave when you go out, get drunk, and don't come home. Paternity was justified. Friend, though, sucks. Friends should be happy for their best friends , not undermine them.
Bullshit about comment from long lost daughter story. Resentment will be held only if the parents do not handle this correctly. If they show any negative feelings about this around their children, then it will be their fault how the children handle this. Your siblings should use this as a teaching moment for their kids, a positive one, not a negative one. NTA OP, and you be the great parent you are turning out to be. Don't let your jealous siblings ruin this for you and your daughter.
NTA OP. A honeymoon is not needed. It is not a necessity but a want. If all those family members want him to have a honeymoon, they can pay for it. If it were me, I would go NC with all of them.
Why is it always the siblings job to take care of the golden un? Op tell them it's a them problem not a you. WAIT WHEN SH SAID WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO PAY THAT WAS EXCELLENT.
Story 1: Misery loves company ( Christy )
This may seem harsh but when my mother passes away I'm going no contact with all of my siblings! Though my half younger brother passed away recently do to something stupid he did he got drunk with a friend and they decided to play russian roulette
12:34 r u kidding me. there are millions of hoax stories like these. It could have been real, and it's his right to take a paternity test.
😂. You now that commenter is getting cucked.
Happy Sunday Everyone from Tacoma Washington!( Stay Safe and warm )
Same to you. Good day.
Going BEHIND your partners back for a DNA test is a problem. That makes ESH except the Fiancé, now wife. The fact that anyone could come in and that easily place doubt in your mind against your mate is a bad sign.
I hope they grow stronger together.
"Anyone" in this care was her best friend and closest confidant. Besides, people actually do this sort of stuff and you can't blame a guy for wanting a piece of mind.