This is my first time experiencing grief ,so close to my heart,My 21 and a half year old Special Needs daughter departed this life almost 10 months ago,and I'm a up and down see saw ,Grief is so overwhelming and individualized,,To all the people who have lost thier love ones ,,May your tears cleanse your soul ,May your ❤️ find solace and comfort in your spirt.....
Thank you. I discovered making grief sacred on my own as the only way to cope with the emotional pain. My loss was compounded by other loss to make matters even more intense. I have never quite experienced this emotional pain in my 55 years of existence, brought to hopelessness, despair, self loathing, hatred of others, suicidal thoughts, and on and on. But I'm still here and moving forward, I think this is the best way to honor those who have passed by making my grief sacred in their honor. Thank you again for this video.
+budcat7 Thank you for sharing your experiences. In the wake of such losses, there seems to be no way out of the pain, but mindful grieving can lead us out of the darkness and into the light.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy I had breakdown over my girlfriend"s death her mum and I goes though her things at Megan "s place I saw photo of us hugging and her kissed my head my mum and I dad hug me say it ok we know you are hurting and missing Megan how cope with her Funeral on Tuseday and her birthday on sunday ???.
Just found your site. Your words make so much sense to me, thank you. Eight months into grief journey I am still trying to find new purpose but your video resonated with my experience. So sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my husband of 28 yrs suddenly 3 months ago and I'm over the shock (just about) and entering the grieving...I'm like a robot .. my pain is so intense I actually feel numb Thank you for sharing your videos I will continue to watch them.
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same hard and terrible experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re okay.
I'm so sorry Patti. I have an idea of how you feel because I, too. Lost my precious husband unexpectedly on. 2/16/23. Jesus said there is going to be a resurrection. John 5:28-29. John chapter 11.
My husband is at the point of reaching 12 months. His birthday is on the 26 Aug 22 and father's day, following. On the 19th September he passed away.., last year. Three days later is the anniversary of one our daughters death. February the next year his eldest brother passed away. I thought I had begun to get through motions of my daughters death, but this heightened the pain and grief when having to select a coffin for my husband. This was the day of of the anniversary of our daughters death, and I seem to be OK except for the difficulty with having to choose for my husband. I immediately noticed a small coffin as we entered the room, taking me back to that time we were doing the same for her. The chapel my brother in law was held in was the same as the one was held for her. It is taking me so long to get through the different phases, and feel like I'm reliving her loss again also. I'm awake all night, and all day, and when I do collapse to sleep it's only for a couple of hours in the day, rarely at night. I also have daughter in palliative care, and she has at best two to five years. I won't allow her to dwell on it. I say to her, that while you are breathing you have life. Except she is now on an oxygen machine, and has the same heart desease as her father. Both my girls have krones, as does my grand daughter. What do I do. However I have found what you are showing helpful, but burst into tears,constantly. I will take notice and act on your advice as best I can. Thank you kindly.
Hi Leona. I am so sorry for your losses. Losing a child and then a husband is too much. I lost my daughter and then one year later my father. It is so confusing, surreal and painful. In my videos on grief, I humbly offer information and suggestions born of my own traumatic losses that might help others find their way out of the darkness. I wish you the best.
Found your channel today on my birthday because this is the first birthday without my mom. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just realised today that she's gone forever and not coming back any time soon😔
Counselor Carl, I know this post from you is old, but I lost my son Ben 3 months ago at age 31, June 3rd. He is my oldest of 3 children. It has turned my world life existence upside down. Many who have never gone through this type of loss say a lot of quiches which hurt more, and want to rush me through healing. Also because of how he passed they dismiss his life and my loss. Thank you for truth, kindness. I would love to receive a response from you. Happy Memorial Day and remembering your love for your daughter and my beautiful Ben. Zan.
Hi, Zandra. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son Ben. My daughter died on June 4th and would have been 32 this year. There are no shortcuts through the pain. I hope you have found some healthy supports for your grieving. A grief group for parents who had lost children was a lifeline for me for three years.
My 21 yr old daughter passed away last year Amanda. I'm still crying every day and night. I go to the cemetery everyday to sit with her till closing it's like a hole in my soul . Miss you baby wish it was me not you
I am so sorry for your loss, Counselor Carl. I wonder if this seismic experience has helped to make you the warm, empathic and compassionate person that I feel through the screen. Perhaps the love you obviously felt for your daughter lives on through your work? You have and continue to help me so much and this video today is appropriate.. My mum died 6 months ago and I am trying to adjust to a life without her...your words today have helped me very much. Thankyou.
Hi Carl, i'm sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing and creating your videos. I'm watching the codependency and inner child ones and they are very helpful. I was struck to hear this and wanted to say Thank You!!
+Natasha Hughes I'm assuming you mean how to deal with a toxic person. The best is to avoid them. You should eliminate toxic persons from your life, and if that is impossible (such as a co-worker), then create as much distance as possible.
I cannot stop obsessing the devastating sudden unnatural and mysterious loss of my firstborn son. There is an inquest going on and with each revelation, my son's death becomes more inexplicable. I will never get over it but carry it to my grave.
I lost my daughter 2 months ago I am very sad. I can't live without her. In India there is no good counselor. My son who is 21 years old also miss his sister , she was his soulmate. I don't know how we overcome from this grief it was unexpected death.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy Hi Counselor Carol, I lost my beloved stuffed dog Casy at the age of 13 year old that why I am wearing my heart locket necklace with my stuffed dog Casy's ashes in it it break my heart too much Please pray for me
You mentioned " not grieving more than necessary" , but I really want to know how do we know whats the limit of this " necessary" that is being talked about , since the grieving process is subjective , how do we know realise when enough is ENOUGH , I am always confused about this
Hi, Mango. My quote should be "nor should we OBSESS on the loss for any longer than necessary." I say that because soon after a significant loss, it is natural to obsess on the loss, but the goal is to eventually begin to find your way back to life in the here and now. However, there is no specific timetable. Each person and each situation is different. So to some degree it is up to the grievers to decide if they have been "obsessing" too long and think like they should be finding there way back to life.
I lost my fiancee days ago The pain is unbearable. I feel guilt ..I should have done this I should have done that.. I feel resentment towards the God that we incessantly prayed to.. who said that Ask and you shall receive....Have faith... But he died anyway I have suicidal thoughts I wish I will not wake up anymore
Hi, Catherine. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved fiancé. Traumatic loss is overwhelming. Please seek out support from trusted friends and family. If you feel unsafe and fear you might hurt yourself, please get help immediately. Go to the Emergency Room, call your doctor or 911, or at least tell someone who can help you.
I'm sorry for your loss. Many local Hospice organizations offer free or inexpensive grief groups. And, you can always search online for a Zoom grief group of which many are free. I wish you the best.
Hi #counsellorcarl I don't know if u will remember me but I wanted to let you know that we lost a third child last year to the same condition. However, last week I applied for my level 2 counselling skills course
Hi Carl. I've just lost my best friend he passed away after a short illness and all I'm feeling is anger and I'm pissed off. Is this normal? I havent cried at all. Im just sad and angry. Luckily I'm able to function.
Hi Gary. I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Yes, it is a natural part of grieving to feel angry and sad. He is a link to another video of mine that explains more: ruclips.net/video/TXHDAtk8cAI/видео.html
I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. The time it takes to grieve a major loss varies from person to person. It can take anywhere from a few months to a couple of years.
@@beverleydawn5774 If you are struggling a lot with your grief, try to find a grief support group or grief counselor. Your local Hospice should be able to help you find one.
Wendy Wilson Dunbar. There is no fixed answer. I can tell you that it took me about three years to find my way fully back to life after the death of my daughter. And I have worked with many parents who have lost children. Many say the second year is harder than the first.
I am so sorry for your loss.I can not imagine losing my one and only child. I lost my mom/best friend almost 19 months ago. She died in her sleep. I am grateful she did not suffer and die of cancer. But I feel such a loss. An emptiness. Her and I did everything together. Shared everything. I will never find another best friend as long as I live. My husband and I were very close with her and my dad. All our summer vacations were with them. I have a hard time looking forward. I still expect my mother to walk through the door of my house with my father. He has met another lady friend. She is a sweet heart. And am happy he has found something to look forward too. They have been to my house one time so far. Very difficult for me to see him sitting close to another woman. And all my memories of my mother make me cry. I have talked with other people who tell me to be grateful you had a relationship like you did with your mom. Or be positive. I just miss her with all my heart. It`s hard to find someone to talk to. I feel they have no empathy for me. They have also been threw loss. I sometimes see my mother`s face as if I could reach out and touch her. I think of her all the time. When will the time come that I can look forward with happiness and accept she is not coming back home to where she belongs? And I do not think my father is done grieving. Just in March on Easter weekend he brought her tulips. I think this very nice lady, who called him, just fills a void/loneliness.
Wendy Wilson Dunbar Although it may seem impossible, trust the process of grieving. I joined both a grief group and saw a grief counselor, which helped me find my way. Hospice usually offers grief groups.
I just lost my 45 year old husband. he had a heart attack.omg he's gone.we have a 16 yr old son.Patrick was the love of my life.the pain is unbearable.please help me.my son is keeping it in.he won't leave me much.I feel dead inside..please doctor help me.I cannot find any counselors or groups in my are..TY :(
Omg, I love your videos, I can't get over how much you look like George Bush tho! Both of them! You have to be George w Bush's twin! You HAVE to be! So eerie!
This is my first time experiencing grief ,so close to my heart,My 21 and a half year old Special Needs daughter departed this life almost 10 months ago,and I'm a up and down see saw ,Grief is so overwhelming and individualized,,To all the people who have lost thier love ones ,,May your tears cleanse your soul ,May your ❤️ find solace and comfort in your spirt.....
@Yaguchi I'm doing a Lil better.Thank you..
Thank you. I discovered making grief sacred on my own as the only way to cope with the emotional pain. My loss was compounded by other loss to make matters even more intense. I have never quite experienced this emotional pain in my 55 years of existence, brought to hopelessness, despair, self loathing, hatred of others, suicidal thoughts, and on and on. But I'm still here and moving forward, I think this is the best way to honor those who have passed by making my grief sacred in their honor. Thank you again for this video.
+budcat7 Thank you for sharing your experiences. In the wake of such losses, there seems to be no way out of the pain, but mindful grieving can lead us out of the darkness and into the light.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy I had breakdown over my girlfriend"s death her mum and I goes though her things at Megan "s place I saw photo of us hugging and her kissed my head my mum and I dad hug me say it ok we know you are hurting and missing Megan how cope with her Funeral on Tuseday and her birthday on sunday ???.
Just found your site. Your words make so much sense to me, thank you. Eight months into grief journey I am still trying to find new purpose but your video resonated with my experience. So sorry for your loss
Thank you, Susan. I'm glad you found support from my video and my own experiences with traumatic loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my husband of 28 yrs suddenly 3 months ago and I'm over the shock (just about) and entering the grieving...I'm like a robot .. my pain is so intense I actually feel numb Thank you for sharing your videos I will continue to watch them.
Hi Patty, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband.
I came across your comment at the grief of love ones post here. ☹️That’s so touching and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all loss our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, I truly understand how you feel cos I’ve felt same hard and terrible experiences before but death is just inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve loss will always want to see us happy again wherever they’re okay.
I'm so sorry Patti. I have an idea of how you feel because I, too. Lost my precious husband unexpectedly on. 2/16/23.
Jesus said there is going to be a resurrection. John 5:28-29. John chapter 11.
Thank you the past few months. How ever this week has been nothing but tears tears and more tears! It helps so much, why!
I too am sorry for your loss. Thank you for helping others like myself deal with tragedy. May GOD bless you.
denmark 8896 Thank you! And my thoughts are with you!
My husband is at the point of reaching 12 months. His birthday is on the 26 Aug 22 and father's day, following. On the 19th September he passed away.., last year. Three days later is the anniversary of one our daughters death. February the next year his eldest brother passed away. I thought I had begun to get through motions of my daughters death, but this heightened the pain and grief when having to select a coffin for my husband. This was the day of of the anniversary of our daughters death, and I seem to be OK except for the difficulty with having to choose for my husband. I immediately noticed a small coffin as we entered the room, taking me back to that time we were doing the same for her. The chapel my brother in law was held in was the same as the one was held for her. It is taking me so long to get through the different phases, and feel like I'm reliving her loss again also. I'm awake all night, and all day, and when I do collapse to sleep it's only for a couple of hours in the day, rarely at night. I also have daughter in palliative care, and she has at best two to five years. I won't allow her to dwell on it. I say to her, that while you are breathing you have life. Except she is now on an oxygen machine, and has the same heart desease as her father. Both my girls have krones, as does my grand daughter. What do I do. However I have found what you are showing helpful, but burst into tears,constantly. I will take notice and act on your advice as best I can. Thank you kindly.
Hi Leona. I am so sorry for your losses. Losing a child and then a husband is too much. I lost my daughter and then one year later my father. It is so confusing, surreal and painful. In my videos on grief, I humbly offer information and suggestions born of my own traumatic losses that might help others find their way out of the darkness. I wish you the best.
Found your channel today on my birthday because this is the first birthday without my mom. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just realised today that she's gone forever and not coming back any time soon😔
Hi, Ziyanda. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom.
Counselor Carl, I know this post from you is old, but I lost my son Ben 3 months ago at age 31, June 3rd. He is my oldest of 3 children. It has turned my world life existence upside down. Many who have never gone through this type of loss say a lot of quiches which hurt more, and want to rush me through healing. Also because of how he passed they dismiss his life and my loss. Thank you for truth, kindness. I would love to receive a response from you. Happy Memorial Day and remembering your love for your daughter and my beautiful Ben. Zan.
Hi, Zandra. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son Ben. My daughter died on June 4th and would have been 32 this year. There are no shortcuts through the pain. I hope you have found some healthy supports for your grieving. A grief group for parents who had lost children was a lifeline for me for three years.
I also lost my only child last June 8 2022, he was 10 yr old. thanks for your channel.
Hi Ben. Ì am so sorry for the tragic loss of your 10-year-old child.
I am sorry for your loss councilar Carl thank you for helping others
Thank you, Kristine.
You are a very special wise man.
Elisa Xavier. Thank you for your kind words.
My 21 yr old daughter passed away last year Amanda. I'm still crying every day and night. I go to the cemetery everyday to sit with her till closing it's like a hole in my soul . Miss you baby wish it was me not you
Hi Martin. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter.
I am so sorry for your loss, Counselor Carl. I wonder if this seismic experience has helped to make you the warm, empathic and compassionate person that I feel through the screen. Perhaps the love you obviously felt for your daughter lives on through your work?
You have and continue to help me so much and this video today is appropriate.. My mum died 6 months ago and I am trying to adjust to a life without her...your words today have helped me very much. Thankyou.
+Janis Deitsch Thank you very much. I'm sorry for the loss of your mum.
Hi Carl, i'm sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing and creating your videos. I'm watching the codependency and inner child ones and they are very helpful. I was struck to hear this and wanted to say Thank You!!
You're welcome, Steven. And thank you!
I am sorry for you're loss. I lost my dad and a uncle who was like a dad within about 10 months.
Thank you. I am sorry for your loss as well.
How to Deal With a Psychopath? I know one who is pulling a few friends in to her life. she told me she had a solid diagnosois.
+Natasha Hughes I'm assuming you mean how to deal with a toxic person. The best is to avoid them. You should eliminate toxic persons from your life, and if that is impossible (such as a co-worker), then create as much distance as possible.
+Counselor Carl I am personally doing that. She got out of prison and has talked a friend into doing some reckless things
+Natasha Hughes Good mental health is all about good self-care. We must take care of ourselves, including in relationships!
I cannot stop obsessing the devastating sudden unnatural and mysterious loss of my firstborn son. There is an inquest going on and with each revelation, my son's death becomes more inexplicable. I will never get over it but carry it to my grave.
Hi Judy. I am am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son
Helpful video, thank you. I think I'm stuck in grief...
You're welcome!
I’m so sorry for your loss. The most painful loss. Your child.
Thank you. Hettie.
I lost my daughter 2 months ago I am very sad. I can't live without her. In India there is no good counselor. My son who is 21 years old also miss his sister , she was his soulmate. I don't know how we overcome from this grief it was unexpected death.
Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Laura!
This was excellent. Thank you so much for this. This was just what I needed to hear and it came up on my screen....
You're welcome, Sarah! I wish you the best.
Thank you for helping so many.
Thank you for your videos! Thank you for all of the tools and understanding! Sorry for your loss.
Thank you, and you're welcome!
Reading helps. Found your video today.
Thank you. Blessed be.
You're welcome
You are an angel ❤️🙏
Love what you're saying, thank you
You're welcome, Michael! Best wishes!
@@Serenityonlinetherapy
Hi Counselor Carol,
I lost my beloved stuffed dog Casy at the age of 13 year old that why I am wearing my heart locket necklace with my stuffed dog Casy's ashes in it it break my heart too much Please pray for me
Thank you so much sir, your videos are so helpful .
You're welcome, Neelima!
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you!
You are gonna make me cry
Thank you
I lost my dad because of covid 19 pneumonia I really miss him so much I don't know now how to continue my life without my beloved father 🥺💔
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved father.
You mentioned " not grieving more than necessary" , but I really want to know how do we know whats the limit of this " necessary" that is being talked about , since the grieving process is subjective , how do we know realise when enough is ENOUGH , I am always confused about this
Hi, Mango. My quote should be "nor should we OBSESS on the loss for any longer than necessary." I say that because soon after a significant loss, it is natural to obsess on the loss, but the goal is to eventually begin to find your way back to life in the here and now. However, there is no specific timetable. Each person and each situation is different. So to some degree it is up to the grievers to decide if they have been "obsessing" too long and think like they should be finding there way back to life.
Thanks so much I am very sorry for your loss I just loss my brother to suicide October 1 2021.
Thank you, Jodie. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your brother.
How do I find a safe support system. How do I make it sacred.
I lost my fiancee days ago
The pain is unbearable.
I feel guilt ..I should have done this I should have done that..
I feel resentment towards the God that we incessantly prayed to.. who said that Ask and you shall receive....Have faith...
But he died anyway
I have suicidal thoughts
I wish I will not wake up anymore
Hi, Catherine. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved fiancé. Traumatic loss is overwhelming. Please seek out support from trusted friends and family. If you feel unsafe and fear you might hurt yourself, please get help immediately. Go to the Emergency Room, call your doctor or 911, or at least tell someone who can help you.
Do you have any information on how to find a free grief group? Thank you for the videos i found them helpful. Grief is overwhelming.
I'm sorry for your loss. Many local Hospice organizations offer free or inexpensive grief groups. And, you can always search online for a Zoom grief group of which many are free. I wish you the best.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thank you
@@lahicks9773 You're welcome!
Hi #counsellorcarl I don't know if u will remember me but I wanted to let you know that we lost a third child last year to the same condition. However, last week I applied for my level 2 counselling skills course
I am so, so sorry for another tragic loss of a child. Congratulations on pursuing learning counseling skills.
Hi Carl. I've just lost my best friend he passed away after a short illness and all I'm feeling is anger and I'm pissed off. Is this normal? I havent cried at all. Im just sad and angry. Luckily I'm able to function.
Hi Gary. I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Yes, it is a natural part of grieving to feel angry and sad. He is a link to another video of mine that explains more: ruclips.net/video/TXHDAtk8cAI/видео.html
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thank you Carl. I'll check it out.
how long do it stop until. you I know my brother is gone to soon
I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. The time it takes to grieve a major loss varies from person to person. It can take anywhere from a few months to a couple of years.
Thank you
You're welcome!
It. Sew like it takes forever for me to realize that he is not here no more
Be patient! Keep taking care of yourself. If you feel stuck in your grief, talk to your pastor, doctor, or a counselor.
I lost my dad 27may20 from cancer iam having a BAD DAY.
Hi, Beverley. I am so sorry for the loss of your father.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thanks I'm have no support from family bc they are gaslighters
@@beverleydawn5774 If you are struggling a lot with your grief, try to find a grief support group or grief counselor. Your local Hospice should be able to help you find one.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy you see i'm in the stage of numbness and disbelief 🤦
@@beverleydawn5774 If you feel stuck, reach out for help as described above.
💜🙏🏻💜
How long is okay?
Wendy Wilson Dunbar. There is no fixed answer. I can tell you that it took me about three years to find my way fully back to life after the death of my daughter. And I have worked with many parents who have lost children. Many say the second year is harder than the first.
I am so sorry for your loss.I can not imagine losing my one and only child. I lost my mom/best friend almost 19 months ago. She died in her sleep. I am grateful she did not suffer and die of cancer. But I feel such a loss. An emptiness. Her and I did everything together. Shared everything. I will never find another best friend as long as I live. My husband and I were very close with her and my dad. All our summer vacations were with them. I have a hard time looking forward. I still expect my mother to walk through the door of my house with my father. He has met another lady friend. She is a sweet heart. And am happy he has found something to look forward too. They have been to my house one time so far. Very difficult for me to see him sitting close to another woman. And all my memories of my mother make me cry. I have talked with other people who tell me to be grateful you had a relationship like you did with your mom. Or be positive. I just miss her with all my heart. It`s hard to find someone to talk to. I feel they have no empathy for me. They have also been threw loss. I sometimes see my mother`s face as if I could reach out and touch her. I think of her all the time. When will the time come that I can look forward with happiness and accept she is not coming back home to where she belongs? And I do not think my father is done grieving. Just in March on Easter weekend he brought her tulips. I think this very nice lady, who called him, just fills a void/loneliness.
My parents were married for 52 years when she died.
Wendy Wilson Dunbar Although it may seem impossible, trust the process of grieving. I joined both a grief group and saw a grief counselor, which helped me find my way. Hospice usually offers grief groups.
By the way the title Morton Lewis. I am Leona Lewis.
I lost my brother !
I am so sorry for your loss.
I just lost my 45 year old husband. he had a heart attack.omg he's gone.we have a 16 yr old son.Patrick was the love of my life.the pain is unbearable.please help me.my son is keeping it in.he won't leave me much.I feel dead inside..please doctor help me.I cannot find any counselors or groups in my are..TY :(
I am so sorry for your loss. Please check with your doctor to see what help is available.
Omg, I love your videos, I can't get over how much you look like George Bush tho! Both of them! You have to be George w Bush's twin! You HAVE to be! So eerie!
Yes, I've been told that before. I'm glad you like my videos!
It's not easy to lose a child
I lose my brother
Angel Marshall I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much I list to your video and they are help me a lot so thank you
You're very welcome!