I respectfully disagree with focusing on the good/blessings, if family members coping mechanism was choosing to cause harm to/abuse others. It can cause the victim to have cognitive dissonace & stay in toxic or Narcissistic family systems. It can become very unhealthy & dangerous. I've learned the hard way that family can use your empathy & choose not to change. I have empathy & love for my toxic/abusive family from a distance (no contact). I just want to put it out there that you can love family from a far & not accept being around toxic/abusive behavior. I'm sharing this to help others who may stay around toxic/abusive family at their own detriment. I hope this didn't come off attacking, I love your spirit & channel.💗I just want to help others.
I appreciate this. And I don't think we disagree at all. I hope I'm not losing my message in this. I'm not saying stick around to be harmed at all, I'm just saying to consider the goodness you *did* get from your family. Call out the abuse, get away from it. Choose yourself and your safety. IF YOU CAN, PLEEEEEEASE LEAVE TOXIC SITUATIONS. All I'm saying is if all you got from your family was yourself, then celebrate that. That's all. 💛🌺🌻🫂 And what you're sharing, I had to learn. I thought the disfunction was normal or what I deserved. I had to learn to set boundaries (that I can even have them) and to enforce them. It was hard (and still is, low key 😅), but I'm getting better. ☺️🌻🌺💛
@@AleciaRenece Ok cool, yeah I think we’re on the same page. Thanks for your gracious response. 💗 & Omg, lol, I can relate to every word of the last part you shared about the dysfunction being normal and knowing that I can even have boundaries. It definitely was and still is hard for me too. Thanks for being such an awesome person! 💗💛🤗
This is bringing me tears 🥹. I’m adopted and in 1984 in Baltimore adoptions were closed at that time (year I was born) so my family history, pictures etc etc are completely unknown to me. I’ve always longed for connection via blood/genetics 😢. However, I love this spin on generational curses. I’m fighting unknown battles at this point but it’s amazing to see even the patterns I picked up from my adopted parents-more on the behavioral spectrum obviously. Thanks for this video today ❤️🙏🏾
Listening to you talking about your family... I love them now 😅 Sadly for me, either I'm too blind from the trauma and sadness that clouds my family, or there are no generational blessings at all. I do have a good level of resilience and work ethic. THAT I know for sure I got from the women of my family. But that's it. After watching your video, I will definitely give it a try and reflect on in with a warmer heart.
Awwwwww! 🥹🫂🥰🌻🌺 Thank you so much for listening in and loving my family. I also want to reflect to you that it's okay if you can't think of any good things. 🫂💛💛💛 Even if the good thing you got from your family is YOU, YOURSELF? That is BEAUTIFUL. That is good enough. You are the gift 🥹💛🌻🌺
Same My family were/are rabid white supremacists who always and still chose/choose hate. When I think of my good 'ancestors', ppl who gave me generational blessing, I think of the trans/queer community.
You are so right about generational blessings. I know the generational curses and talk about them a lot. But I've never taken the time to think about the other side. Thank you for talking about this
This is the thoughts I’ve come to really understand and put language to , that sometimes we are so focused on and carry the trauma from generations of our family’s we tend to harbor and hold onto the things we perceive as bad actions rather than as ways past generations used to cope with life . And as you said as the next generation we can honor both . We can break the curses and celebrate the blessings .
It takes so much work to be able to hold space for people in their complexity, and I honor your ability to do it. I know it's not an easy point to get to.
Thank you for sharing your magick with us. I watched a few of your videos today that really me think. I cuddled my babies intently. I got outside and let the wind blow through my sundress. I cried and my heart smiled.
I often wonder about this. I’ve never met my paternal grandparents and I only knew maternal grandfather but he was very old and quiet and lived far away. I wonder so much about my grandparents and what joy meant to them and how we got to this place we are in today. It’s like a mystery to me. I write about it a lot because I don’t think I’ll ever get the answers
@@graceorsomething 🤭🥹💛🌻✨🌺 Awwwwww! Thank you so much!!!! I'm writing now. ☺️🌸🥰 I hope to have something to share soon. I really love being prolific 🌺🌺🌺
There’s no such thing as generational trauma. If you witness people you care about or need doing poorly then it’s likely you will be traumatized. It’s not being passed down genetically.
@@AleciaRenece Yes, and from what I’ve read from these folks, our genes do not change but how they behave changes. If trauma makes a parent unhealthy, then she/he may produce a biologically unfit baby. That doesn’t mean the child is experiencing trauma. The actual trauma still arrived from events and environmental factors (like witnessing a parent suffer) in my opinion.
I once heard a therapist on The Grapevine, which was on RUclips, say, "You're body is an heirloom." I keep that in mind when I look in the mirror.
@@ashleycunningham751 I love this so much 🥹🫂🌺💛🌸
You look so relaxed and your skin looks so glowy. Good Morning Beautiful. Continue to stay blessed. ❤❤❤❤
Good morniiiiiing ☺️🥰💛🌺🌻🫂 Awwwwwww! Thank you so muuuuch 🥹🥰🫂 that's so sweet of you!!! Much love and joy to you!!! You stay blessed as well!
I'll go ahead and say thank you. Now let me watch the video 😁
Awwwwwww! Thank you so muuuuch for being here. I hope you have a wonderful day 🫂🥹🌻🌺💛
Same.
Right 😊
I saw the title and thought about my grandma and the skills and gifts and love she left us.
Awwwwwww! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! That is SO beautiful!!! 🥹💛🫂🌻 Sending so much love to you and honor to your grandma ☺️🌺
Love you & love what you're Doing, Alecia. 😉
🥹😭🫂💛🌻 I'm sending you so much love and joy! Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for being kind. 🥰
I respectfully disagree with focusing on the good/blessings, if family members coping mechanism was choosing to cause harm to/abuse others. It can cause the victim to have cognitive dissonace & stay in toxic or Narcissistic family systems. It can become very unhealthy & dangerous.
I've learned the hard way that family can use your empathy & choose not to change. I have empathy & love for my toxic/abusive family from a distance (no contact). I just want to put it out there that you can love family from a far & not accept being around toxic/abusive behavior.
I'm sharing this to help others who may stay around toxic/abusive family at their own detriment. I hope this didn't come off attacking, I love your spirit & channel.💗I just want to help others.
I appreciate this. And I don't think we disagree at all. I hope I'm not losing my message in this. I'm not saying stick around to be harmed at all, I'm just saying to consider the goodness you *did* get from your family.
Call out the abuse, get away from it. Choose yourself and your safety. IF YOU CAN, PLEEEEEEASE LEAVE TOXIC SITUATIONS.
All I'm saying is if all you got from your family was yourself, then celebrate that. That's all. 💛🌺🌻🫂
And what you're sharing, I had to learn. I thought the disfunction was normal or what I deserved. I had to learn to set boundaries (that I can even have them) and to enforce them. It was hard (and still is, low key 😅), but I'm getting better. ☺️🌻🌺💛
@@AleciaRenece Ok cool, yeah I think we’re on the same page. Thanks for your gracious response. 💗 & Omg, lol, I can relate to every word of the last part you shared about the dysfunction being normal and knowing that I can even have boundaries. It definitely was and still is hard for me too. Thanks for being such an awesome person! 💗💛🤗
29:10
I totally get that point. As the scripture goes:
With much wisdom comes much sorrow
This is bringing me tears 🥹. I’m adopted and in 1984 in Baltimore adoptions were closed at that time (year I was born) so my family history, pictures etc etc are completely unknown to me. I’ve always longed for connection via blood/genetics 😢. However, I love this spin on generational curses. I’m fighting unknown battles at this point but it’s amazing to see even the patterns I picked up from my adopted parents-more on the behavioral spectrum obviously. Thanks for this video today ❤️🙏🏾
You are so positive
My generational blessings include having a loving family who taught me the importance of love and valuing life
Listening to you talking about your family... I love them now 😅
Sadly for me, either I'm too blind from the trauma and sadness that clouds my family, or there are no generational blessings at all. I do have a good level of resilience and work ethic. THAT I know for sure I got from the women of my family. But that's it.
After watching your video, I will definitely give it a try and reflect on in with a warmer heart.
Awwwwww! 🥹🫂🥰🌻🌺 Thank you so much for listening in and loving my family.
I also want to reflect to you that it's okay if you can't think of any good things. 🫂💛💛💛
Even if the good thing you got from your family is YOU, YOURSELF? That is BEAUTIFUL. That is good enough. You are the gift 🥹💛🌻🌺
@@AleciaRenece Thank you 🥹
Same
My family were/are rabid white supremacists who always and still chose/choose hate. When I think of my good 'ancestors', ppl who gave me generational blessing, I think of the trans/queer community.
I got creating magic from my family on both sides…we can create anything with our hands…
You are so right about generational blessings. I know the generational curses and talk about them a lot. But I've never taken the time to think about the other side.
Thank you for talking about this
Man Alecia. The thoughts that you be thinking. I'm kissing my fingers like compliment to the chef. Good stuff
OMG I was literally about to jump on and talk about this same topic!! ✨ Synchronicity. ✨ I'm gonna listen later, just wanted to say that. Yay!
My family’s coping mechanisms seem to be hoarderism and I really wish I could help them with it…
This is the thoughts I’ve come to really understand and put language to , that sometimes we are so focused on and carry the trauma from generations of our family’s we tend to harbor and hold onto the things we perceive as bad actions rather than as ways past generations used to cope with life . And as you said as the next generation we can honor both . We can break the curses and celebrate the blessings .
Yesssssssss!!!!
🥰🫂🌻🌺💛 Much love and joy to you!
My brother and I started to scratch the surface of this the other week. A wholesome conversation ❤ loved your reflections.
It takes so much work to be able to hold space for people in their complexity, and I honor your ability to do it. I know it's not an easy point to get to.
Thank you for sharing your magick with us. I watched a few of your videos today that really me think. I cuddled my babies intently. I got outside and let the wind blow through my sundress. I cried and my heart smiled.
❤❤❤ Thank you
I agree that you are magical sistah!!!!! thank you for this one. I love you.
The Garden🌻. Please, and thank you💗.
@@FeelingPrettyBlue yes. Yes. Yes. It's coming back 🥹🌺💛🫂🌸
Appreciation🦋
Awesome, love this notion.👍✨🩵
You’re so sweet 🧁💕
I enjoyed this topic.
Hey beautiful 🥰
Yaaaaaaaay!!! 🥰 Hiiiiiiiii, Gorgeous 🥹🥰💛🫂🌺🌻 Happy Fridaaaay!!! 🎉💃🏾🪩
YESSSS
Amen to all of this. I love this perspective
Such a wholesome and necessary topic. I've been thinking about this too, as I'm realizing a lot of my family members are/were likely neurodivergent.
@@workingtwiceashard yeeeeeeeeeees 💛💛💛💛💛💛
My most favorite smile on RUclips 🥰. Also...your grandma may have been an undercover Disney princess 🧐 👸🏽 🐿
@@Syncloverton you are so kind to meeeee 🥹😭💛🫂🌺✨🌻 I'm sending you so much love and joy!!!!
@@AleciaRenece Same to you sis! 🫂🧡
❤🙏🏾
Let me know when you are in Houston, I will cook for you. Should I make a video and post about what I got from my folks? hahaha
@@leslynmoore yeeeeeeeeeees! I would LOVE thaaaaat!!! 🫂🥹🌺💛✨
Annick here. I havent commented in a long time lol great video and I have missed you.
@@annicks7385 it's SO good to see you. 🥹🌺✨🌻💛 I'm sending you all the love and joy today!!!
I often wonder about this. I’ve never met my paternal grandparents and I only knew maternal grandfather but he was very old and quiet and lived far away. I wonder so much about my grandparents and what joy meant to them and how we got to this place we are in today. It’s like a mystery to me. I write about it a lot because I don’t think I’ll ever get the answers
When are we getting another book???? I’m trynna buy!! 🌼🌼
@@graceorsomething 🤭🥹💛🌻✨🌺 Awwwwww! Thank you so much!!!! I'm writing now. ☺️🌸🥰 I hope to have something to share soon. I really love being prolific 🌺🌺🌺
There’s no such thing as generational trauma. If you witness people you care about or need doing poorly then it’s likely you will be traumatized. It’s not being passed down genetically.
@@nicolem889 we disagree and that's okay. ☺️🌸✨🌻🥰 I think it's both. There are folks who study this and can see our literal DNA change with trauma.
@@AleciaRenece Yes, and from what I’ve read from these folks, our genes do not change but how they behave changes. If trauma makes a parent unhealthy, then she/he may produce a biologically unfit baby. That doesn’t mean the child is experiencing trauma. The actual trauma still arrived from events and environmental factors (like witnessing a parent suffer) in my opinion.