The competent usually don't have confidence though. For example the most confident surgeons in a hospital are way more likely to make mistakes than the surgeons that are not confident.
@@breakingbadest9772 Rather than "most confident" I would say arrogant. The arrogant surgeons make mistakes. The truly confident ones are not boastful AT ALL because there is no need to be. That is my experience - 11 years working with surgeons. The competent ARE confident. They are just quiet about it. They have humble confidence.
No…the majority of people aren’t narcissistic! And most people have narcissistic traits! It’s just that people have been allowed to let their narcissistic traits be seen as normal…so they indulge them even more.
Without realizing that they're reputation precedes them the moment they walk into a room. Body language speaks volumes, especially to those who are hypervigilant...
@@thomasgrabowski2202 The same, she wanted make me stop playing music because she was jealous even though I never gave her any reason and she wanted me to apologize to her every time she starts to arguing for stupid reasons even if she can’t proof why she was right and I was wrong
@@Joey-xc6iu I too am going through the same. It makes me sad that the person may never know how hard it has been to make the decision to let them go. I wish them well and will always love them. It’s okay to allow yourself some mental healing and growth. Listening to this man’s wisdom feels like the support that is so desperately needed. Stay well and stay your course. ❤️
I listened twice, and wish he wasn't cut off... shorts leave too much unknown. However, I also look at the length of videos before I watch them. At least JP is worth listening to, always. I wish that patience and humility were taught and revered more. It's ok to be wrong, ignorant, misdirected, just as long as one can take constructive criticism as a benefit rather than thinking they're being found unfit. Of course all individuals involved need to be gracious and kind. Our society does not value such forms of interaction.
Just let this sink in dealing with my narcissist and being separated from him giving me hell refuse to give me the divorce but found his new supply but putting me through hell to force me to leave to have this fake facade that o I did try but really it’s to deflect the focus off himself and not taking accountability for constantly cheating on dating sites, sex addictions, porn but if you disclose it giving explanation of clearing the narratives it’s the hoovering and shift blaming twisted lies being told being isolated from your own family and friends
He knows it so well because he is a narcissistic. Lol he is not qualifed to speak be an expert on anything but psychology....but makes claims about the environment
Very well said and accurate! A narcissist will always take credit when things go right if they had any part in the project or construction of anything, and they will voice it to everyone! " See I told you, see I knew it would work if you did it my way, see you're lucky I was here to help, etc...." It's always about them them them. "Hey look at me look at me look how good I am, I know it all and I've done it all and can do it better than you because I did it 100 times already?" Narcissism and lying go hand in hand.
A malignant narcissist will do exactly as he states. A covert or vulnerable narcissist will do this behind your back while gaslighting you to think they're your hero and the others are unreasonably mean for no reason.
My mother is a Grade A narcissist. She loves making offers she has no way of fulfilling, but it makes her seem so so so generous: 'Darling, if I had a Million pounds I'd happily give them all to you..'
@@terencejay8845 something you gotta get used to .. females are very fast with promises and hypothetical support ... untill it gets real .. then the vast majority of them disapear
@@TheyCalledMeT My Mother is now 96 and has outlived three husbands and had all three dancing to her manipulative tune. She is an absolute master. I can no longer have a conversation with her because in minutes its all about Her. 'Me Me Me'.
@@terencejay8845 what was the famous line of a MRA on life tv? (on the topic of men dieing younger than women) yes when men have a screeching wife like you .. they just WANT to die sooner
Wish you the best if you are dealing with a narcissist. Hope you are learning. Had an Ex Husband...and when I went back to work an immediate boss who were two types of narcissists. Guess I was supposed to learn how to work around these types ...am so much better with this type of awareness. Hope whomever is going through something with a narc will learn techniques to deal with these types. Bless you.
@@debbiekaren7058 Some people only " God" is able to heal. We don't have to save them...they know. Knowing we have worth no matter what they said it how they treated me. No guilt or shame from them worked anymore...learning detachment. Keeping my life meaningful because the narc will belittle all the things and people I love. They are actually jealous of others whom they chose to belittle. Stay strong. It gets easier, yet get self out of this energy...there isn't anything that is good for you though. Some people God can only heal.
@@debbiekaren7058 Also...get support Co- Dependent or Alanon for support. Alanon is for people who love people who are addicts and many times Narcs. ❤️
@@debbiekaren7058 stay away as much as you can.. don't take what they say or do personal.. it's not about you.. it's them.. they hate themselves and that's why they are so mean to others.
@@katiemiller4187 how to stay away when he uses the child to manipulate me (the child is with me, he left us when child was little baby yet he ain't giving us space to breathe nor any respect, i thought was a psychopath, since i read about narcisist apparently he's a 'good' one.....
Gawd, I used to work at a place that had several narcissists and psychopaths. The workplace environment became so stressful for me that it just about killed me.
@@IvySnowFillyVideos Thank you for your concern. To be honest, my life was essentially a "shit show" during those working years and afterwards. Due to an on-going set of serious illnesses, my psychopathic boss decided to blind-side me on the day I returned to work from a month-long absence by laying me off very unceremoniously. It was typical of the treatment I endured there over my decade long stint with that company. I truly enjoyed the job but the staff and boss made my daily life a living hell on most days. I "earned" my first heart attack while under their employ back in 2011. Returning to work after a 7-month recovery period was made so stressful by the people working there that I'm surprised I didn't go into cardiac arrest again within weeks of going back there. The place was full of loons. But as most people know, it's almost impossible to leave a job that's got benefits, and provides steady work. My area of the country (Canada) was dealing with higher-than-usual unemployment figures back then. I also needed heart medications that would have cost me severe fiscal hardship so I stayed put. After my lay-off, things essentially went from bad to worse. My relationship with my wife nose-dived and I lost all respect for her as a human being for the most part. My health was still very much on shaky ground and a host of other events occurred that weren't fun at all. I certainly don't want to get into it here. No point in making others pity my sad trajectory. Suffice to say, after a decade-long struggle, I'm in a better position these days having retired last December. I don't have to answer to anyone although my wife thinks she still runs the roost. LOL! Sure, whatever. This is not how I envisioned my life going into my "golden years". I played by the rules, always took care of my health and worked hard to make ends meet. Yet, my best efforts just came crashing down with a vengeance and it has taken its toll on my physical and psychological health. Of course, we all had to endure the "COVID years" and as we were squeaking out of lock-down, my family and I all came down with COVID in April 2022. Naturally, I was the last one to recover from it. It lagged on for over a month and a half. But despite all that crap, I'm somewhat in a better place these days and dealing with the cards I've been given. My spirit is held in check by my involvement in gardening, my music and good books to read/listen to. I have a beautiful 2-year old grandson who constantly makes me laugh and it's always a joy to be around the little guy. We spend a fair amount of time together. It's funny how much he is like my daughter was at that age. Kind of a true doppelganger, as it were. In any case, thanks again for your kind expression of concern. I had it bad but I always appreciate that many people have it far worse than me. You can be the nicest person on Earth and reality has a way of shitting on your plans. I've learned to take things one day at a time. Events can turn on a dime and I'm always trying to take in whatever is good in a day. I guess they would call me "a survivor". 🙂
I feel you I went through the same like three years ago and am still trying to heal and I regret every minute of holding on to my job because it affected me in so many levels
Almost any average job has some type of narcissist. I’ve worked many different jobs and those people exist everywhere in them.. They’re beyond insufferable yet they think they’re the hottest shit ever.
@@ItsGGi Thanks. In my case, I lived in an area where employment was difficult to come by so I didn't have much choice. It was either put up with these idiots or starve.
I love how he perfectly articulates his speech in a way that puts words exactly on the background and often unseen processes that goes on. At my scale i would call this intuition but since i can’t explain it this exact way it loses it’s value to others ears.
I know right? Somehow people who disagree with him sometimes try to target his usage of “long words” or how he strings sentences together. I got banned from an Anti-Peterson subreddit for explaining to them that, Peterson aside, the general usage of advanced vocabulary does not necessarily insinuate some ulterior motive of trying to appear smart. It’s completely natural for a specialist talking about something within his field of expertise to use some uncommon words in order to articulate a complex idea in a summarised manner. But they kept shouting nonsense about how he’s insecure and a wannabe social intellectual who spouts nonsense before permanently banning me.
@@_thatoneperson_9082 those types are just peeved that he is correct so they must find another way to discredit his truth. I cannot believe you were banned! Whatever happened to healthy debate? The world is going down the gurgler.
That competence observation is ON TARGET!!!!!! People who are certain that they know more/better than others, but don't bother to get information or do research. So they go around inserting themselves into other people's lives, misguiding them! Their opinions were not requested, and they make no effort to repair the damage they caused. In their minds, they were "protecting you." Right, because you are not capable of living your own life with different values than yours. Living your own life while basing your decisions on FACTS, not assumptions. (Sorry, it's SUCH a SORE SPOT with me ... trying so hard to move on past the pain and damage.)
Thank you Dr Peterson for a simple clear definition of this over-used word. You give 100% credibility to the profession of Psychology. You are so rare.
Bang on, my old boss exactly like this. Talked the talk really well, knew shit about the actual job but blagged his way thru it. He claimed to have bowel cancer when he was being called to account for failing. I knew what he was within 1 hour of meeting him. He ended up demoted but clawed his way back up in a different department. 18 months later demoted again. Since then he left but gained a senior role again. Loudmouth claims may get you a job but you have to be truly competent to keep it.
Mine was female and religious, then she smoked and took her hijab off and criticised other religious women on practising what they preach..like wtf? ...and thought she was a nutritionist after losing some weight but was still fat as she had bunch of back fat and waddle like a duck because obviously she was still fat...white lies are okey because she just tells you some of the truth, point out her hypocrisy then she gets mad and vengeful. Lost her job as she wasnt even doing it but just waddling around and pretending that she is. So i know how you feel.
I think we are all taught by the system to do this, public schools very much promote this. One of the primary things I am working on is stopping telling “beneficial” lies, To myself or others. By being willing to be bad at things, and have humility, I hope I will accomplish true success in life. By pretending you have succeeded in morality or productivity or happiness or fitness or whatever, only stops you from actually succeeding.
So true. That’s a wonderful phrase, “narcissist claim unearned moral virtue”. Five words that tell you a whole host of things about that type of person!
This guy makes too much sense. When something is true, your heart knows it to be true immediately, and without long consideration of whether or not it’s true.
No narcissist would ever accept this. I live with one. There's no explanation that'll make sense to them. A non self reflective type won't ever see anything from anyone else's position. Even if they have been in a situation that is basically parallel. A narcissist would not be able to make sense of that.
So true and so well spoken. I'm listening to this over and over, while writing this! Jordan Peterson has such a command of the English language. He inspires me to read and increase my vocabulary and learn in every way. While listening to him I feel my brain growing!
That’s a root of particular narcissism yes. A projected belief that doesn’t reflect true belief inside. There’s another narcissist type I heard Peterson describe as something I understand to as; more rooted in delusion rather than insecurity. There projection isn’t covering up a different belief if actually believe it regardless of reality.
@@richardjohn1016. This is it sir!!! You said a mouth full. They actually believe the nonsense that comes out of their mouth. It's truly their reality. That's the story that they spend and tell everyone regardless of whether it's or not, the only thing that matters to them is that they believe it.
Absolutely! Fortunately, the signs someone's a narcissist are pretty easy to spot. Genuine confidence just feels different when you're around it. Trust your intuition 😎
Funny how these work places have narcissists for bosses. It seems to be a requirement!! Run as far away as you can get unless you want a life of misery!!
My sister is exactly that way, & so was my fiancé. For 60 yrs, I didn't know what this was. Hopefully, this subject being in the spotlight now, will save young ppl a lot of grief, if they truly understand JP's explaination.
An aunt of mine is like that. She always tells everyone how "generous"she is by paying/helping any of the family that is in need. The truth is that she always forgets to mention that is more like a loan not a gift at ALL. Even if we paid for it ourselves, she tells everyone that she was actually the one that paid. I hate her.
Totally man! I had a supervisor like that, but any little or big thing that went wrong, she blame the youngest person there (which was me at the time). And me looking young just seemed to give them all-the-more impression that I was just a young twit (that's not my view on young people, but that's how she treated me). I walked into work one day and she gave me a whole sob story about how she couldn't find the cardboard inserts for the bottom of the boxes, and therefore she couldn't put the customer's bread order in a box; she gave mean irritated tone and assumed that it was MY fault. I asked her, "Did you ask the cake decorator if she knew where they were?" Dhe said, "No." Then I said, "Did you ask anyone else if they knew where they were, since every else started 2-plus hours before me?" She said "no". And I just looked at her. Then right then I turned around to the cake decorator and asked her, and she goes, "Oh, they fell behind the shelf here!" Seeing as my supervisor acted like it was so important, and she was so upset by it that she didn't even ask anyone else if they knew where it was. If it was a big deal, wouldn't she have at least mentioned it to a coworker? I was always prepared for these kinds of discussions, because so often I would get accused.
Sadly, the public fixation on others being "a narcissist" is on par with the public's fixation on "gluten" in recent years. They don't actually know what they're talking about (quite unlike Dr. Petersen"
I think that's true. I suspect that the people in this Comment section who say they are surrounded by Narcissists could indeed be Narcissists themselves. I've only met 2 people in my life who I would say were Narcissists or truly had a borderline personality order. What made them unique compared to other slightly obnoxious and over confidemt individuals was that they would make up lies that were blatantly false and could easily be proven false.... And they knew it. It showed a psychology with little ethics and also knowing the behavior of their opponent not to use it against them.
He’s describing someone close to me. It was a miserable relationship while it lasted. While it lasted, this person told others I had emotional problems and actually cried on their shoulders. Then attempted to convince me that she loved me. I didn’t believe it.
So.. be a genuinely good person! I'd like to hear that definition from Dr Peterson. What a wealth of resources in how to deal with a narcissist in this definition. Awesome. Thank you
Imagine having narcissistic husband, mother in law and sister in law at a time... It was hell but, fortunately, I saved my daughter and me from that toxic family. They will never accept wrong doings and it is exactly like Peterson said, they think that every single person is in debt with them for whatever reason.
One moment, Meghan is a narcissist while the Palace allows Charles and Andrew to do as they please? Meghan worked 15yrs in Hollywood and Toronto withfew complaints, yet she's horrible to Palace staffers who btw couldn't complain to HR until recently because the Queen is exempt from the laws of her land! Now who's the narcissist?
Nothing steers me clear of an apparently good person more quickly than them telling me they continue to interact with someone they're devaluing behind their back because they "pity" them.
I never thought I would fall for a narcissist. like, what's the likelihood that I would fall for someone, that is such a small percent of the population? He was my first crush. I have admired him since I was 8 years old. It took me a decade to see who he really is. I wanted nothing more, than for him to be my prince charming. This video is 100% true. The Narcissist will tell you everything you want to hear, but they will never follow up with action to prove their words and so called "love" to you. You could have their back every day, but once you turn around and ask for help, they will disintegrate between your fingers like sand in the wind. They are born with glistening silver tongues, but lack ears and eyes to understand and see themselves truthfully. It doesn't matter to them how much they hurt you, or how wrong they were. They will always find a reason why it's your fault, and that you should be the one apologizing. It doesn't matter how much you love and care about them. They're too consumed by the way that you make them feel, to ever see and value you. They love the way you make them feel, not you. They can't even see you. They will say they do, but it's a delusion. Don't be naive and assume that they would take a bullet for you, the way that you would take a thousand for them. They're holding the gun, as your heart is left bleeding to death.
I’m confused. Does Dr. Pettersson remind you of your husband, or is the narcissist the Dr. Peterson is describing remind you of your husband? And since you seem to be good at pointing fingers why don’t you put the finger at yourself and explain to us why you stayed with this so-called narcissistic horrible person for over 30 years? What’s your role? This is long as you keep pointing fingers at your ex-husband you’ll never look at yourself in the mirror and your stay the same same same. And if we do the same things in the same way that we always have done them the results will also be the same.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. .. I listened to this at least seven or eight times and he is absolutely spot on. You see this is why people that are going into Congress need to be vetted more by someone like Jordan Peterson, and he needs to be teaching these foolish people what's what.
I worked with a couple narcissistic people. They were exposed when I turned them in for being abusive. These individuals were a social worker and a nurse. The abuse allegations were founded. BUT They eventually got promoted! The social worker was put in charge of HR! The nurse was put in charge of a program that was brand new! The job was working at a psychiatric facility that was state level, NYS. It still frightens me to this day how broken that place was! Since I was let go for having a mental health condition that lasted over a year (was on medical leave for over a year). I’ve come to realize that the time I worked with those abusive people who were really awful to everyone including SPMI clients was so damaging to my sense of safety in the universe. I witnessed people who were supposed to help others be awful and judgemental and culturally incompetent over and over again. They got away with it and then got promoted!!!! NEVER trust anyone based on the position they are in. Even people in helpful positions can be straight up evil people who love power and control! 😪😪😪😪😪😪😪
Confidence of the competent without competence. He always hits the nail.
Exctly, he is just like that.
The competent usually don't have confidence though. For example the most confident surgeons in a hospital are way more likely to make mistakes than the surgeons that are not confident.
He nailed it
@@breakingbadest9772 🤔oh..no
I hope not.!🙏
@@breakingbadest9772 Rather than "most confident" I would say arrogant. The arrogant surgeons make mistakes. The truly confident ones are not boastful AT ALL because there is no need to be. That is my experience - 11 years working with surgeons. The competent ARE confident. They are just quiet about it. They have humble confidence.
We have a whole generation of extreme narcissists
And the PUBLIC School System helped create them, then add social media and Hollywood....perfect storm
That's right a wicked and perverse generation
Yikes
Several (generations) actually...
No…the majority of people aren’t narcissistic! And most people have narcissistic traits! It’s just that people have been allowed to let their narcissistic traits be seen as normal…so they indulge them even more.
Anyone that challenges them, their reputation is smeared, exactly like a narcissist.
Current Histrionics NARCISSISTS...and Dark Triad MACHIAVELLIANISM..... Markle and Harry.
Without realizing that they're reputation precedes them the moment they walk into a room. Body language speaks volumes, especially to those who are hypervigilant...
sounds just like Peterson.
@@thomasgrabowski2202 The same, she wanted make me stop playing music because she was jealous even though I never gave her any reason and she wanted me to apologize to her every time she starts to arguing for stupid reasons even if she can’t proof why she was right and I was wrong
Pot Kettle Black...
.
I honestly believe that JP is one of the most intelligent ppl out there
Intelligence is overrated. You will find that the most profound thoughts are ussually just plain common sense.
Intelligence is not a what makes special it's his INTEGRITY💪
Whatever it is that separates him from the rest is clearly unique to him.
Have you ever looked up Sam Vaknin?
@@cgc1581 no pal. Is he roughly the same? ?
I listened to that eight times and every word is absolutely correct. Well done!
Yes, I must listen to it again. Absorb, absorb...
@@Joey-xc6iu I too am going through the same. It makes me sad that the person may never know how hard it has been to make the decision to let them go. I wish them well and will always love them. It’s okay to allow yourself some mental healing and growth. Listening to this man’s wisdom feels like the support that is so desperately needed. Stay well and stay your course. ❤️
Do you fall into this category?)
I listened twice, and wish he wasn't cut off... shorts leave too much unknown. However, I also look at the length of videos before I watch them. At least JP is worth listening to, always.
I wish that patience and humility were taught and revered more. It's ok to be wrong, ignorant, misdirected, just as long as one can take constructive criticism as a benefit rather than thinking they're being found unfit. Of course all individuals involved need to be gracious and kind. Our society does not value such forms of interaction.
Just let this sink in dealing with my narcissist and being separated from him giving me hell refuse to give me the divorce but found his new supply but putting me through hell to force me to leave to have this fake facade that o I did try but really it’s to deflect the focus off himself and not taking accountability for constantly cheating on dating sites, sex addictions, porn but if you disclose it giving explanation of clearing the narratives it’s the hoovering and shift blaming twisted lies being told being isolated from your own family and friends
"Overclaim their contribution" very true
The way Mr. Peterson deepens your understanding on a daily basis is amazing.
Yeah, or articulate it. I think often he says something that many of us have on the tip of the tongue. Great guy.
@@michaelooviera2123 👍 True
He knows it so well because he is a narcissistic. Lol he is not qualifed to speak be an expert on anything but psychology....but makes claims about the environment
Very well said and accurate!
A narcissist will always take credit when things go right if they had any part in the project or construction of anything, and they will voice it to everyone!
" See I told you, see I knew it would work if you did it my way, see you're lucky I was here to help, etc...."
It's always about them them them. "Hey look at me look at me look how good I am, I know it all and I've done it all and can do it better than you because I did it 100 times already?"
Narcissism and lying go hand in hand.
He’s not wrong. No one is woke without telling everyone they are woke!!
Just like lots of vegans 😅
@@queenannesrevenge8137 nice name awesome ship xD
@@elijones7926 thank you, sir! 🏴☠️
@@queenannesrevenge8137 I jumped in this thread to comment exactly that 😂
I’m
A malignant narcissist will do exactly as he states. A covert or vulnerable narcissist will do this behind your back while gaslighting you to think they're your hero and the others are unreasonably mean for no reason.
You mean, act like a female?
Nice and supportive on the surface but insidious on the inside
My mother is a Grade A narcissist. She loves making offers she has no way of fulfilling, but it makes her seem so so so generous: 'Darling, if I had a Million pounds I'd happily give them all to you..'
@@terencejay8845 something you gotta get used to .. females are very fast with promises and hypothetical support ... untill it gets real .. then the vast majority of them disapear
@@TheyCalledMeT My Mother is now 96 and has outlived three husbands and had all three dancing to her manipulative tune. She is an absolute master. I can no longer have a conversation with her because in minutes its all about Her. 'Me Me Me'.
@@terencejay8845 what was the famous line of a MRA on life tv? (on the topic of men dieing younger than women)
yes when men have a screeching wife like you .. they just WANT to die sooner
Love how smart this man is
Mist democrats on the far left today...
Like your dad
You're delusional
He just explained almost every politician
And himself
Wish you the best if you are dealing with a narcissist. Hope you are learning. Had an Ex Husband...and when I went back to work an immediate boss who were two types of narcissists. Guess I was supposed to learn how to work around these types ...am so much better with this type of awareness. Hope whomever is going through something with a narc will learn techniques to deal with these types. Bless you.
What were two of the most beneficial techniques that you learned?
@@debbiekaren7058 Some people only " God" is able to heal. We don't have to save them...they know. Knowing we have worth no matter what they said it how they treated me. No guilt or shame from them worked anymore...learning detachment. Keeping my life meaningful because the narc will belittle all the things and people I love. They are actually jealous of others whom they chose to belittle. Stay strong. It gets easier, yet get self out of this energy...there isn't anything that is good for you though. Some people God can only heal.
@@debbiekaren7058 Also...get support Co- Dependent or Alanon for support. Alanon is for people who love people who are addicts and many times Narcs. ❤️
@@debbiekaren7058 stay away as much as you can.. don't take what they say or do personal.. it's not about you.. it's them.. they hate themselves and that's why they are so mean to others.
@@katiemiller4187 how to stay away when he uses the child to manipulate me (the child is with me, he left us when child was little baby yet he ain't giving us space to breathe nor any respect, i thought was a psychopath, since i read about narcisist apparently he's a 'good' one.....
"Intelligence without Wisdom is Dangerous."
Gawd, I used to work at a place that had several narcissists and psychopaths. The workplace environment became so stressful for me that it just about killed me.
Sorry u went thru that...hope u found a better life far away from them
@@IvySnowFillyVideos Thank you for your concern. To be honest, my life was essentially a "shit show" during those working years and afterwards. Due to an on-going set of serious illnesses, my psychopathic boss decided to blind-side me on the day I returned to work from a month-long absence by laying me off very unceremoniously. It was typical of the treatment I endured there over my decade long stint with that company. I truly enjoyed the job but the staff and boss made my daily life a living hell on most days.
I "earned" my first heart attack while under their employ back in 2011. Returning to work after a 7-month recovery period was made so stressful by the people working there that I'm surprised I didn't go into cardiac arrest again within weeks of going back there. The place was full of loons.
But as most people know, it's almost impossible to leave a job that's got benefits, and provides steady work. My area of the country (Canada) was dealing with higher-than-usual unemployment figures back then. I also needed heart medications that would have cost me severe fiscal hardship so I stayed put.
After my lay-off, things essentially went from bad to worse. My relationship with my wife nose-dived and I lost all respect for her as a human being for the most part. My health was still very much on shaky ground and a host of other events occurred that weren't fun at all. I certainly don't want to get into it here. No point in making others pity my sad trajectory.
Suffice to say, after a decade-long struggle, I'm in a better position these days having retired last December. I don't have to answer to anyone although my wife thinks she still runs the roost. LOL! Sure, whatever. This is not how I envisioned my life going into my "golden years". I played by the rules, always took care of my health and worked hard to make ends meet. Yet, my best efforts just came crashing down with a vengeance and it has taken its toll on my physical and psychological health.
Of course, we all had to endure the "COVID years" and as we were squeaking out of lock-down, my family and I all came down with COVID in April 2022. Naturally, I was the last one to recover from it. It lagged on for over a month and a half.
But despite all that crap, I'm somewhat in a better place these days and dealing with the cards I've been given. My spirit is held in check by my involvement in gardening, my music and good books to read/listen to. I have a beautiful 2-year old grandson who constantly makes me laugh and it's always a joy to be around the little guy. We spend a fair amount of time together. It's funny how much he is like my daughter was at that age. Kind of a true doppelganger, as it were. In any case, thanks again for your kind expression of concern. I had it bad but I always appreciate that many people have it far worse than me. You can be the nicest person on Earth and reality has a way of shitting on your plans. I've learned to take things one day at a time. Events can turn on a dime and I'm always trying to take in whatever is good in a day. I guess they would call me "a survivor". 🙂
I feel you I went through the same like three years ago and am still trying to heal and I regret every minute of holding on to my job because it affected me in so many levels
Almost any average job has some type of narcissist. I’ve worked many different jobs and those people exist everywhere in them.. They’re beyond insufferable yet they think they’re the hottest shit ever.
@@ItsGGi Thanks. In my case, I lived in an area where employment was difficult to come by so I didn't have much choice. It was either put up with these idiots or starve.
Thank you JP for picking apart the subtle dysfunctions and showing them for what they are.
I love how he perfectly articulates his speech in a way that puts words exactly on the background and often unseen processes that goes on. At my scale i would call this intuition but since i can’t explain it this exact way it loses it’s value to others ears.
I know right? Somehow people who disagree with him sometimes try to target his usage of “long words” or how he strings sentences together. I got banned from an Anti-Peterson subreddit for explaining to them that, Peterson aside, the general usage of advanced vocabulary does not necessarily insinuate some ulterior motive of trying to appear smart.
It’s completely natural for a specialist talking about something within his field of expertise to use some uncommon words in order to articulate a complex idea in a summarised manner. But they kept shouting nonsense about how he’s insecure and a wannabe social intellectual who spouts nonsense before permanently banning me.
@@_thatoneperson_9082 those types are just peeved that he is correct so they must find another way to discredit his truth. I cannot believe you were banned! Whatever happened to healthy debate? The world is going down the gurgler.
@@ladylightvybe4138 debating is literally prohibited on the subreddit. Didn’t realise that until I got banned LMAO
@@_thatoneperson_9082 yes it is land of trolls
Well, you explained THAT really Well! ;)
Bang on the money as usual! Nightmare when you have a narcissist for a boss!
That competence observation is ON TARGET!!!!!! People who are certain that they know more/better than others, but don't bother to get information or do research. So they go around inserting themselves into other people's lives, misguiding them! Their opinions were not requested, and they make no effort to repair the damage they caused. In their minds, they were "protecting you." Right, because you are not capable of living your own life with different values than yours. Living your own life while basing your decisions on FACTS, not assumptions. (Sorry, it's SUCH a SORE SPOT with me ... trying so hard to move on past the pain and damage.)
They are the most insecure people! So sick of their lack of empathy and compassion, they don't even see it.
Exactly!!!
It would be really great if we had the link to the full interview in the shorts description 🙏
Thank you for your work guys !
Someone did put it in their post ..
But it was as though they were mocking him
Thank you Dr Peterson for a simple clear definition of this over-used word. You give 100% credibility to the profession of Psychology. You are so rare.
Doctor Peterson, a hell to the yeah! I have been waiting to hear this information, so helpful for my recovery!
Good luck on your recovery!
@@karmawins7614 TY
There is a very fine line between having unwavering self confidence & being a narcissist. The distinction isnt made anymore.
Bang on, my old boss exactly like this. Talked the talk really well, knew shit about the actual job but blagged his way thru it. He claimed to have bowel cancer when he was being called to account for failing. I knew what he was within 1 hour of meeting him. He ended up demoted but clawed his way back up in a different department. 18 months later demoted again. Since then he left but gained a senior role again. Loudmouth claims may get you a job but you have to be truly competent to keep it.
Mine was female and religious, then she smoked and took her hijab off and criticised other religious women on practising what they preach..like wtf? ...and thought she was a nutritionist after losing some weight but was still fat as she had bunch of back fat and waddle like a duck because obviously she was still fat...white lies are okey because she just tells you some of the truth, point out her hypocrisy then she gets mad and vengeful.
Lost her job as she wasnt even doing it but just waddling around and pretending that she is.
So i know how you feel.
Not always. It depends on who's watching.
I think we all know this stuff but this man has the ability to articulate it clearly
Brilliant
He always hits the nail of truth on the head.
I think we are all taught by the system to do this, public schools very much promote this. One of the primary things I am working on is stopping telling “beneficial” lies, To myself or others. By being willing to be bad at things, and have humility, I hope I will accomplish true success in life. By pretending you have succeeded in morality or productivity or happiness or fitness or whatever, only stops you from actually succeeding.
We’re you a narcissist?
This is exactly my boss, always took credit for everything. Spot on, JP is a gem in this world.
Best Jordan Peterson clip ever. Hits hard because I was working with narcissists recently. So glad to be learning to identify it.
That's why they emote SO much, for that automatic reputational status THEY DEFINED.
Very articulate and accurate.
Every Statement that prof. JP makes, is worth listening to with great concentration.
Jordan can pack so much into even one minute...
So true.
That’s a wonderful phrase, “narcissist claim unearned moral virtue”. Five words that tell you a whole host of things about that type of person!
This guy makes too much sense. When something is true, your heart knows it to be true immediately, and without long consideration of whether or not it’s true.
Oh my word this is BRILLIANT
OOH! THAT LAST POINT WAS DELICIOUS. WHAT STUNNING REVELATION. THANK YOU JORDAN PETERSON FOR THAT BRILLIANT INSIGHT . GOD BLESS YOU.
Narcissism is incurable .
Very true
This was Incredibly Well said!
No narcissist would ever accept this.
I live with one.
There's no explanation that'll make sense to them.
A non self reflective type won't ever see anything from anyone else's position.
Even if they have been in a situation that is basically parallel. A narcissist would not be able to make sense of that.
@Martha Walbridge
😂 Damnit that's funny.
Oh no
Y dont u just leave ?
you will be so much happier you did
You will say to yourself
“ y didn’t I do this earlier ?”
🙏
Bless you love
@@jrskp3677 whats so funny ?
Please tell me I need a laugh
@@iloy1218
Your first comment it completely bereft of depth or meaning.
The second one, involves reading comprehension skills as your answer.
@@jrskp3677 you’re wasting your time, because the capacity for critical thinking is not in the wheelhouse of those satiated by the Orange kool-aid.
So true and so well spoken. I'm listening to this over and over, while writing this! Jordan Peterson has such a command of the English language. He inspires me to read and increase my vocabulary and learn in every way. While listening to him I feel my brain growing!
This man is a breath of fresh air. He’s fantastic!!👍
All exactly correct and accurate from JP.
I thought narcissists had a deep insecurity that they have been covering up their whole life.
That’s a root of particular narcissism yes. A projected belief that doesn’t reflect true belief inside.
There’s another narcissist type I heard Peterson describe as something I understand to as; more rooted in delusion rather than insecurity. There projection isn’t covering up a different belief if actually believe it regardless of reality.
They do. Their behavior is a cover up.
@@gabrielamartiniuc6322 WRONG
@@gabrielamartiniuc6322 🤣 jk i do indeed have narcissistic tendencies
@@richardjohn1016. This is it sir!!! You said a mouth full. They actually believe the nonsense that comes out of their mouth. It's truly their reality. That's the story that they spend and tell everyone regardless of whether it's or not, the only thing that matters to them is that they believe it.
I have to listen to what Jordan says about 4x to fully understand what he is saying… what an intelligent person he is.
Love it!❣
Absolutely! Fortunately, the signs someone's a narcissist are pretty easy to spot. Genuine confidence just feels different when you're around it. Trust your intuition 😎
I had to listen to this several times because he makes so much sense and can articulate these things so well! And yes, he is so intelligent.
J.P. is a great & smart man. I am glad we have him. Also, he is 100% correct again. I work with a man that a narasists. He. Is awful to be around.
Wow you just diagnosed my sister. Spot on. 👏👏👏
Funny how these work places have narcissists for bosses. It seems to be a requirement!! Run as far away as you can get unless you want a life of misery!!
I’m happy that JP is in this world same time as me.
When they continue to hammer their virtue into your brain, but you are laughing so f’n hard at them it doesn’t stick …
Nothing stands up to laughter. A genius told me this one time.
My sister is exactly that way, & so was my fiancé. For 60 yrs, I didn't know what this was. Hopefully, this subject being in the spotlight now, will save young ppl a lot of grief, if they truly understand JP's explaination.
Brilliant way to explain the truth about this!
Can I make this my ringtone for those folks
Not only is this a great JP quote clip, but the clip itself is VERY well edited. The end flows very naturally back into the beginning. Nicely done!
So very true!
That’s why everything is a feeling. No action. No reality
An aunt of mine is like that. She always tells everyone how "generous"she is by paying/helping any of the family that is in need. The truth is that she always forgets to mention that is more like a loan not a gift at ALL. Even if we paid for it ourselves, she tells everyone that she was actually the one that paid. I hate her.
He just explained social justice warriors in much better language than I could EVER! 🤯
Completely true!
Absolutely the case. What a perfect analysis! Thank you Jordan Peterson.
Literally describes a situation I recently encountered.
“Fake it till you make it” explained.
Totally man! I had a supervisor like that, but any little or big thing that went wrong, she blame the youngest person there (which was me at the time). And me looking young just seemed to give them all-the-more impression that I was just a young twit (that's not my view on young people, but that's how she treated me). I walked into work one day and she gave me a whole sob story about how she couldn't find the cardboard inserts for the bottom of the boxes, and therefore she couldn't put the customer's bread order in a box; she gave mean irritated tone and assumed that it was MY fault. I asked her, "Did you ask the cake decorator if she knew where they were?" Dhe said, "No." Then I said, "Did you ask anyone else if they knew where they were, since every else started 2-plus hours before me?" She said "no". And I just looked at her. Then right then I turned around to the cake decorator and asked her, and she goes, "Oh, they fell behind the shelf here!" Seeing as my supervisor acted like it was so important, and she was so upset by it that she didn't even ask anyone else if they knew where it was. If it was a big deal, wouldn't she have at least mentioned it to a coworker? I was always prepared for these kinds of discussions, because so often I would get accused.
Right on every word.
Sadly, the public fixation on others being "a narcissist" is on par with the public's fixation on "gluten" in recent years. They don't actually know what they're talking about (quite unlike Dr. Petersen"
I think that's true. I suspect that the people in this Comment section who say they are surrounded by Narcissists could indeed be Narcissists themselves.
I've only met 2 people in my life who I would say were Narcissists or truly had a borderline personality order.
What made them unique compared to other slightly obnoxious and over confidemt individuals was that they would make up lies that were blatantly false and could easily be proven false.... And they knew it. It showed a psychology with little ethics and also knowing the behavior of their opponent not to use it against them.
Jordan Peterson is brilliant! His intelligence and honesty are the most attractive thing a man could have! 💯
When they do this in marriage....they also do it at work, at church, in counseling, etc.
Total truth!
I can't help it, I love this man. Thank you 🙏
I love this man. He makes so much sense it's crazy. He puts what you're thinking with the words to explain it.
He’s describing someone close to me. It was a miserable relationship while it lasted. While it lasted, this person told others I had emotional problems and actually cried on their shoulders. Then attempted to convince me that she loved me. I didn’t believe it.
So.. be a genuinely good person! I'd like to hear that definition from Dr Peterson. What a wealth of resources in how to deal with a narcissist in this definition. Awesome. Thank you
Imagine having narcissistic husband, mother in law and sister in law at a time... It was hell but, fortunately, I saved my daughter and me from that toxic family. They will never accept wrong doings and it is exactly like Peterson said, they think that every single person is in debt with them for whatever reason.
Imagine that it's your birth mother
DR Peterson all you are saying is very true well described. Speaking truth too wickedness.
Sounds like every boss I've ever had minus a few, 20% competent 80% narcissist
Touché. By far the most concise and accurate description of this personality disorder.
Read: Megan markle
#HGTutor
@@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat
HG Tudor is the best teacher there is
on the topic of Narcissists/ Narcissism.
One moment, Meghan is a narcissist while the Palace allows Charles and Andrew to do as they please? Meghan worked 15yrs in Hollywood and Toronto withfew complaints, yet she's horrible to Palace staffers who btw couldn't complain to HR until recently because the Queen is exempt from the laws of her land! Now who's the narcissist?
Nothing steers me clear of an apparently good person more quickly than them telling me they continue to interact with someone they're devaluing behind their back because they "pity" them.
You can fool some people all of the time and all the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
Dr Peterson is a treasure of insight and thought provoking consciousness.
I never thought I would fall for a narcissist. like, what's the likelihood that I would fall for someone, that is such a small percent of the population? He was my first crush. I have admired him since I was 8 years old. It took me a decade to see who he really is. I wanted nothing more, than for him to be my prince charming. This video is 100% true. The Narcissist will tell you everything you want to hear, but they will never follow up with action to prove their words and so called "love" to you. You could have their back every day, but once you turn around and ask for help, they will disintegrate between your fingers like sand in the wind. They are born with glistening silver tongues, but lack ears and eyes to understand and see themselves truthfully. It doesn't matter to them how much they hurt you, or how wrong they were. They will always find a reason why it's your fault, and that you should be the one apologizing. It doesn't matter how much you love and care about them. They're too consumed by the way that you make them feel, to ever see and value you. They love the way you make them feel, not you. They can't even see you. They will say they do, but it's a delusion. Don't be naive and assume that they would take a bullet for you, the way that you would take a thousand for them. They're holding the gun, as your heart is left bleeding to death.
People often project themselves onto others. Jordan Peterson is no exception.
This reminds me of my husband of 34.5 years. I left him almost 7 years ago.
Are you happy now?
Happy Is prolly the wrong measurement….Have you found your life Has generally improved rather?
I’m confused. Does Dr. Pettersson remind you of your husband, or is the narcissist the Dr. Peterson is describing remind you of your husband? And since you seem to be good at pointing fingers why don’t you put the finger at yourself and explain to us why you stayed with this so-called narcissistic horrible person for over 30 years? What’s your role? This is long as you keep pointing fingers at your ex-husband you’ll never look at yourself in the mirror and your stay the same same same. And if we do the same things in the same way that we always have done them the results will also be the same.
34.5 years … nearly 7 years ago … guess you still love him.
He never misses
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. .. I listened to this at least seven or eight times and he is absolutely spot on. You see this is why people that are going into Congress need to be vetted more by someone like Jordan Peterson, and he needs to be teaching these foolish people what's what.
Here's a better rendition: ruclips.net/video/b4gMZkUYE1Y/видео.html
So so freakin true!
Be sure that there's at least one narcissist around when you work with more than 20 colleagues.
Wow that is spot on true.
Love it.. Great
The way I love this man and how articulate he is
I worked with a couple narcissistic people. They were exposed when I turned them in for being abusive. These individuals were a social worker and a nurse. The abuse allegations were founded. BUT They eventually got promoted! The social worker was put in charge of HR! The nurse was put in charge of a program that was brand new! The job was working at a psychiatric facility that was state level, NYS. It still frightens me to this day how broken that place was! Since I was let go for having a mental health condition that lasted over a year (was on medical leave for over a year). I’ve come to realize that the time I worked with those abusive people who were really awful to everyone including SPMI clients was so damaging to my sense of safety in the universe. I witnessed people who were supposed to help others be awful and judgemental and culturally incompetent over and over again. They got away with it and then got promoted!!!! NEVER trust anyone based on the position they are in. Even people in helpful positions can be straight up evil people who love power and control! 😪😪😪😪😪😪😪
Wow....!!!
That is a pin-point accurate description of a narcissist.
I would love to know how to deal with one, without walking away.
Do you watch Dr Ramini or HG Tudor on RUclips. They both have a lot of good material about narcissists.
This is like the most enlightening thing I’ve ever heard
Holy cow did he ever nail it!!! I can’t stand these holier than thou woke jokes with their flags and bumper stickers. Just nauseating!
yeah. i can not stand the christian narcissists either. churches are full of them. they are really atheists pretending to be holy.
Superb clarity of statement.