Trying To Lay Flat With a Pleural Effusion - Emotional - Stage 4 Lung Cancer
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- Опубликовано: 11 апр 2023
- Kyle’s Channel:
/ @kyleapple9702
P.O. Box
Jenny Appleford
7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
For business inquiries: veganapplefords@gmail.com
DIAGNOSIS:
March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
2022: Chemotherapy
10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
CURRENT TREATMENT:
I am on a clinical trial for my specific gene mutation
Our GoFundMe Link:
gofund.me/5edf81e5
The purpose of my channel is to document my cancer journey to look back on, and/or help anyone else going through anything similar. It is also to potentially help loved ones supporting those who are in this fight as well. This is also an easy way to update a lot of people at once. My main goal is to have footage of this journey for my husband and children to look back on. I originally created this channel as a sort of video diary for my
family.
Thank you so much for following along on this journey. Your love and support help me so much.
Dear Jenny, i say this in the gentlest, kindest way with not an ounce of judgement. There is no reason for you to avoid taking anything that will help you do these MRI's. The pain, fear, effort, fact you have to practice and psych yourself up to try to do these MRI's w/o something you can have. It takes a toll on finite resources we all have limited resources- mental, emotional, physical. You have a great team at city of hope- and you and Kyle are the most important members of that team. You really aren't being a good team member by struggling through something and not asking for what you need. You wouldn't stand by and watch your kids or Kyle suffer through when you could take away that pain, calm their fears, help conserve energy that they could use to live and enjoy their family. It is brave to ask for what you need, it is not weak, it is honorable to accept what you wish you didn't need. Please work on changing your thinking - like the serenity prayer and give yourself ALL the breaks, ALL the things that will help. that is part of fighting, not trying to be strong in areas you do not need to be. Please tell your team how much you suffer over these things and i hope going forward every brain/lay flat MRI it is just a given it will be done under the deep sedation- there are so many reasons to do it that way, until you can sleep laying flat i don't see any reason to do it otherwise. Please, we love you and don't want to see you suffer. We want every moment of your life that can be to be joyfully, pain free, fear free, etc. Tell your team how incredibly hard this is. Be a momma bear for yourself. :) Hugs
Well said!
@@suesmith5033 I totally agree!! I just don't understand her wanting to get through something and suffering when she could be given medication. ??? I say this in the kindest way possible!
THANK YOU YOUR SO RIGHT WE DO WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR SWEET FRIEND 🙏❤️
I totally agree ❤
@@tanyawood275 I may of heard wrong but I think Jenny may be trying to avoid having a general anaesthetic for the procedure
i just wanted to say that if you need sedation to be comfortable and for the procedure to go well there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i know you mentioned feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable and trust me no one at the hospital will think differently. do whats best and easiest for you and your body, you are going through something incredibly hard and take the wins when you can get them and if sedation makes the process easier than thats a win
Yes, Faye. I'm always put out for my MRIs.
I agree
Absolutely!
❤❤❤❤❤
I agree with you Faye 100% there is nothing wrong with getting sedation, she needs to be comfortable, I pray to GOD that things will get easier in time.🙏🙏🙏
Jenny, you are OKAY now. You will never have pain again, you will never have anxiety again, you will never be sad again and you will never be afraid again. You are an angel now and at peace.
As a nurse, I can say that it is a fact: When you are in pain, your body is in distress. It is not good for you.
I don’t know what would be wrong about allowing sedation. It’s ok for you to be comfortable.
You are brave, but you do not have to suffer when there is a way to allow you comfort.
🙏💕
Follow the Nurse's suggestion sedation will help to relax and more comfortable!❤❤❤❤❤
You have lung cancer. Be kind to yourself…you did great. I’m a breast cancer survivor, and we know how to just fight through it. You are doing it, girl! Give yourself grace…♥️
Bless you ❤
Amen
Such wise advice. Be kind to yourself. Cry if you want too, do, feel and show want you want to Jenny
Well done Jenny your amazing ❤you done amazing xx
Very well said. I wholeheartedly agree🙏❤️🙏
Dear, dear Jenny do not worry about crying. Fear is a huge thing - and you deal with it with such strength.
You NEVER need to apologise to us. Kyle and you are both such a great pair. Keep strong girl. We love you.
Jenny don't be so hard on yourself. God is with you. I have non alcohol cerosiss of the liver and I have to have an mri every 6 months. In December they found a spot on my pancreas so I have a spot and a nodule the size of a pencil eraser on my liver. I have to take 2 atavin on the way to have my mri done. I crash when I get home. It takes 1 hour for them to do the mri. What I do is imagine myself holding God's hand. I know you have trouble laying flat so you are in alot of pain. Do not put yourself through unnecessary stress and pain. My liver specialist says I am at high risk for liver cancer. Like you I don't sleep the night before my doctor appointment. I am 65 years old and I still get scared of my appointments. Bloodwork 3 days before dr. Visit and the same with mri. But we have God on our side. We are his daughters and he will always take good care of us. God bless you and be with you all of the time. God is great. Love ya sister.
As an RN and now someone battling breast cancer, I ask you PLEASE take whatever you feel will help you get through something. There are no medals for suffering! I have had a lot of the feelings you describe and have decided NOT to suffer if I don't have to. I have refused an MRI I need for some pre-existing back pain, so you are NOT the only one who feels like this. You are beautiful and brave and have been dealt a raw deal. Do whatever you need to in order to get through things and don't suffer with anxiety or pain. Prayers for you and your family.
"There are no medals for suffering". Well said.
Mavie Wavie,
Thank you for your service as an RN.
I hope you know how much you are admired and appreciated.
It's now your time to be treated with the utmost compassion, concern, and care.
I am holding you in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.
Sending heartfelt healing hugs and loads of love your way.
💜🙏💜
I’m just starting my Breast Cancer Journey. I’m going to remember these words. I know there will be hard things coming. I’m 65 and my 19 year old Grandson yelled at me after my diagnosis. He told me, “You are NOT gonna die!! You’re gonna fight this. You have Great -grandkids to meet still! So no talking about dying!” So I’m gonna remember what you said. There are no medals for suffering and to take whatever is offered to make things easier (something like that). Thank you!!
I know! I was going to leave a comment reminding her how relieved she was after the sedation last time.
@@shannonscheffel7366. I have coronavirus pneumonia and stage four lung cancer. Do I lay on my side or do I set up or do I lay flat
I can definitely tell what she is talking about how her left lung is not expanding as she was laying there, I can’t imagine what Jenny was going through.
No matter what, Jenny had this beautiful smile and I miss that.
You are NOT pathetic! You are amazing, a hero, a champion, a role model, and we all love you!
It broke my heart at the end when you said, "was it pathetic?" Not a single person thinks that! You have cancer and there is nothing pathetic about any of what you're experiencing. We all look up to you for your bravery. You may not feel it but we can see it.
I'm still rewatching How brave Jenny was every day still crying missing her
She was a beautiful woman Kyle. So sorry for your huge loss!
Wish all of us who are reading your comments could give you a warm comforting hug and take all your pain and stress and worry away. Through it all you still manage a smile through your tears. Kyle is an amazingly supportive husband,you are so lucky to have him. Sending lots of love to you and your family.
This is a great family. Almost too nice to be real😍
Absolutely well said, my thoughts exactly, such a beautiful family ❤
Jenny, a gentle reminder that "it's OK to not be OK" 🙏
I'd like to mention that as a cancer patient for the second time, I'm not fond of this saying. When you have cancer, every single damn day you are not ok and are painfully aware of this. I don't need any validation or reminder that it's ok not to be ok. It's my REALITY.
@@barrbuff : : My daily reality is the same as yours.
You are not pathetic, you are COURAGEOUS!! ❤🙏
Oh my Jenny, why put yourself through this torment? If you are more comfortable drugged than be sedated. You are going through enough. Be as comfortable as you can be now so that you can be healthier when as it comes!❤️🌞
Jenny, I hate to see you in so much pain. If I were you I'd do the sedation. Just like you I hate MRIs. They freak me out and I usually have to have an anxiety drug and then I just close my eyes and wait for it to be over and usually there's music even though I can still hear the noise of the machine. Unlike you, I don't have to do a much just for certain I had kidney cancer in like 2011 or 2012. They did a biopsy and said I don't have cancer so I went I year thinking I didn't have cancer. Then they did another biopsy. This one they did not give me any sedation or pain medicine for it and I told them I wouldn't do another one without something for pain cuz it was excruciating. Then they found stage 1 basal cell carcinoma, a small tumor in my right this was before Christmas so I didn't tell anybody about it till after Christmas that year. I had went to the urologist but not to my real doctor yet and they told me I had a tumor in there and it had to come out right away. I hadn't talked to my real doctor yet. She was the one that told me I had cancer even though at that point I knew because of the urologist. I had surgery to remove the tumor, very painful. The hospital I was in pulled the curtains and it was dark in the room and I was in so much pain I could care less if I lived or died. My husband had to come in and feed me cuz they just left me the trays of food dietary and no one helped me eat. Thank God he was looking out for me, my husband. Anyway I didn't have to have any chemo after the after five years I was cured they said. I was lucky and I never took it for granted. And I am so sorry for what everyone else has to go through, all the pain and tears and fears. I pray for everyone that has this awful disease. I know you want to be brave but you don't have to supper with pain if they can help you. ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏💔💪.
I sat here and cried with you... I am giving you a big HUGE HUG... Lord please hear all the prayers we are offer for Jenny..
I agree with you. ADONAI please hear our prayers in Yeshua’s name❤
Agree. So kind of you. Jen we love you. Prayers.
If it's too much, please let them sedate you. The pain, the claustrophobia, and the inability to breathe deeply are just too much at once. You are in my prayers.
You are so, so missed… 😢
I miss you 😔
Just another retired nurse here to say using the sedation is a good option to consider. Sending hugs ❤
Jenny, I used to be a nurse and you did so well. I'm so proud of you. You're amazing. I don't know many people who would have attempted what you did and it was a huge achievement. There's absolutely no shame in taking the sedation, you have to do what's right for you. I think you're a strong, brave woman and no-one could think anything else ❤
Absolutely ❤
As I watch back I take solace in knowing Jenny is a bright shining star in Heaven. No more anxiety, no more pain, just utter love surrounding her now.
I can tell you as one who has had a PE the feeling of gasping for air that isn’t there is the scariest feeling I have ever felt in my life.
Keep shining Jenny & I’ll keep fighting for all of us.
❤
Jenny, I have bronchitis and I can't lay flat because I can't take a deep breath. I can't imagine having fluid around my lungs. You are very brave to be doing this. I can't believe your doctor would let you go through this pain during an MRI.
You must be so tired of it all, so physically and emotionally exhausted with the relentless pain and discomfort. You are so brave and just keep going out of love for your family. I wish you so much strength and love. What a lovely family you are. God bless you all. X
Yes, everything, and being/feeling sick, all the Dr calls AND Appts, The Cancer, effusions, MRIs.
Crying is good. It's a release of pent up emotion - positive and negative emotions. Crying is cleansing. You're doing great. Thank you for bringing us along.
Oh Jenny, how could we ever stop loving you? Your courage in the face of this cancer demon gives us the strength to face our demons, whatever they may be. Please give yourself the grace that you deserve and use the sedation to make the brain scans tolerable. I'm sure you ate not the first cancer patient that has needed the help to get through the test. You are incredibly brave Jenny and l want to be just like you when l grow up! Sending you love and hugs. YOU GOT THIS!! 💕
The part where you said I want to be just lik you when I grow up. I think I'm older than Jenny, and I agree, I want to be just like her when I grow up too ❤
So kind warm and gentle. Caring and brave. I could go on. Rip sweet jenny!!!
my mother passed from mesothelioma a few years ago - thank you for giving me insight to what she went through- i never understood.. when she was first diagnosed she said she just wanted to go - she’d been alive long enough - and i cried and i screamed at her - no she couldn’t - i often feel guilty for making her feel the need to do treatment and go through things like this .. was rather selfish of me not to just let her go .. towards the end she had some type of drain thing placed in her .. the whole time she never really talked about it or anything ..
Please remember there is no reason for suffering in pain! The bed is cushioned and the table is not.
I’m sorry you are going through this. 💕💕💕💕
You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever seen in my life Jenny. It broke my heart when you referred to yourself as a wuss because you didn’t complete the 30 minutes. You are far from that. You’re only human and It’s perfectly okay to have limitations because of pain and not being able to breathe. It’s also okay to cry and be scared. Like your sweet hubby said, you guys will get it figured out like you always do. 😊💙
Please jenny dont be hard on yourself you take good care of yourself your in my prayers from maine
There’s absolutely no reason why they cannot sedate you. Don’t stress about it anymore and put that fear out of your mind. ❤ 😊
It would be great if Kyle could talk to you through headphones when you’re in the MRI I think his support would really help you through it ❤
Great idea
Everyone needs a hype person like Kyle! He’s Jenny’s hype man!!! He keeps her going always knows what to say
Oh Jenny, everyone is so very proud of you! You are a cancer warrior and have such a fighting spirit. Remember please that sometimes you need to put yourself first, and if a little sedation will help make the scan more tolerable, then you should absolutely go for it. You will know on the day of the scan how well you are feeling and can decide then. In the meantime please know that you have an army of youtube prayer warriors as well as your home support system cheering you on every step of the way ❤
@@juratepletzke7180 amen!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You are so brave jenny, you did so well never feel you have to apologise to anyone sweetheart x
@@lindanewton1142 ☺️❤️
It's difficult to watch you trying to do something that is so painful. Cancer is not for wimps. You have more inner strength than I will ever have. That being said, I want your team to do whatever it takes for you to be comfortable. AND....I want you to feel like you deserve to be given the most pain free and anxiety free experience on this planet. Because you do. Let your NP advocate for you. You and Kyle will be in my thoughts and prayers. You can do this and your team can help you be comfortable. It's what they do.
Dear Jenny . I’m so proud of you you made it 28 minutes that’s a great accomplishment. Please don’t be so hard on yourself you truly gave it your all. Take some sedation none of us want you to be in pain during your procedure. I did enjoy watching it helps us understand more of what you are experiencing. Sending lots of healing prayers your way. We all love you and your wonderful family
I have cancer, and I am in hospice care. I can't lay flat, and have nerve pain and panic attacks. I have to take a lot of Zanax to get scans done, and sometimes that doesn't even help. You are not alone, and you are way more brave then you think !!!!! I just tried the Gabapentin, and it just made my nerve pain worse. Your videos make me feel less alone, so thank you so much for that.
😢🙏
Phillipians 4:13
“I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me” .
You ‘are’ doing it Jenny. Even through the pain & trials, HE is with you. Thank you Kyle for standing by your wife always. I’m praying for you dear ones❣️
🙏 AMEN 🙏 HE will give you strength and courage Jenny. Have faith!
There is no shame in getting sedation for an mri. You are brave to even consider not getting it. I pray for you and your family daily. Know that you are loved and supported from afar.
Oh my gosh Jenny I prayed and cried as I watched you suffer. It was hard to watch - I can't even imagine what it was like to endure. I could clearly see the right side of your chest taking in more air and being more relaxed. Please please take the sedation!! I know it's not what you had hoped - but it's not a fail. Your muscles and nerves and whole body relax under deep sedation; and that is a blessing for your body for the 30 minutes. Sending so much love and prayers. Please don't choose to suffer when there is an alternative.
🙏❤️🇨🇦
Please be gentle with yourself Jenny. Taking sedation is not a sign of failure. It’s a sensible choice. Your courage is truly astonishing and inspirational.
Don’t fret about having sedation for MRI. You are not under very long. You’re comfort is much more important. Not just physically but emotionally as well. Still praying for you all. 🙏❤
I am sobbing at the end of this. You are the most lovable, strong, incredible lady and no one would ever love you any less. You are a brave warrior, and it hurts my heart to see you suffering. I love you, Jenny, and I pray for you every day. ❤️❤️❤️
From the 71 year old lady in Portland, Maine. Jenny you are very brave. Something you said; about not being able to do things that used to be so simple, without discomfort, anymore is so hard. Oh, how true.
Kyle is very strong and brave too. It isn't easy to watch someone, you love,
be in pain and not be able to stop it and rescue you.
Tears help. They really do, but they take breaks too.
It's Okay.👑 🙏🏼🕊💖🎶🥰
What a beautiful soul. Sharing your life's journey with cancer is so brave and real. Praying for you and your family.
There’s nothing wrong or weak by having sedation for a MRI. I have to have sedation for MRI’s. I have them frequently and I came to that choice because of pain and panic. It never use to be that way but later in life, it became almost impossible to not be sedated. Much love to you beautiful Jenny! Please don’t think that it’s a cancer thing not to be able to do the MRI procedure. Many people need to be sedated to lay pain free & no anxiety in that damn tube! ❤❤❤
Jenny, your team is going to do what they need to do to make you more comfortable. Please don’t add more to your anxiety. Remind them of your pain so they can look deeper into it. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re brave, strong and You’ve Got This!!!
If it is painful, take the sedation. It is not a bad thing. It is a tool to help you through a necessary procedure. Use every tool, Jenny. Those tools are there for a reason. ❤️🙏🙏🙏✝️
I understand your struggle as my sister went through it and she fought for 10 years. You just need to be a bit kinder towards yourself and never brush aside your attempts to take control of your body and pain. Your husband and children got a real gem in you young lady. You are extremely brave to show your vulnerabilities and document all your trials and tribulations. I for one salute your courage. Take care my girl. Love from Cape Town, South Africa. x
Jenny. It’s ok. We all are sending positive thoughts to you and your family. Take the sedation if you need it. Please don’t pressure yourself.
Do not say things like “pathetic”. Never ever ever. You are anything but that. You are everything good. Much love to you honey.
Oh Jenny, if only you could see how strong you are! Kyle is right there with you and what a support he is. *I was just thinking perhaps it would be instructive for your team to see this video... it may be instructive for them to note what you are feeling and where so they can figure out how best to help you with these lay flat scans.* You are so brave to try this experiment on your own at home and film it and thankfully Kyle was there to help pull you up into a sitting position. I am so glad you asked him to be there and be part of this. I agree with the other people commenting, give yourself grace and realize that you are a cancer warrior who faces this battle for your life with such strength of character and grace. You smile through your tears and try to see the best of everything. Praying for you and your wonderful family and watching your videos in awe of all you do. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Angels on earth... Jenny is one of them. 🙏🏼
Sweet Jenny, don't torture yourself and if you need sedation, use it! You are and have been going through a lot and deserve to be without pain. Sending you, Kyle and the family lots of strength!!
Your husband is a gem. You're lucky. A lot of women go through this alone. You are blessed.
You are so strong and awesome. I am so proud of you. Please allow yourself to be sedated. The pain is not worth it. Kyle is such a calming and sweet spirit. Hang in there Sweet Girl!
Dear Jenny there was nothing pathetic about this. It was really really brave of you to share this. My heart is aching for you, and seeing you in pain just breaks my heart. Like is so unfair ❤. You did so well lovely, and just showing us what your going through is so brave like I said. But to be in so much pain for the duration of the scan, if it was easier for you to have the sedative, well if it was me, I’d definitely go for the sedation. You go to sleep, then your awake in no time. You do what’s best for you Jenny, but do not feel embarrassed or ashamed because you can’t lay down flat. You do only what’s best for you and your pain management hunny. Always in my thoughts . Kyle you are such a sweet and caring husband 🙏🏻❤️🇬🇧xx
😢 I try not to miss a video because I truly want to follow your progress. I'm not sure how you do it but know that you inspire me to deal with my liver disease.
It's difficult living or trying to live with a disease that has no cure, mine is Autoimmune Hepatitis and other things. Liver cancer although slow growing (whatever that means) lol. I do think God chose us for a reason to battle thru this portion of our journey although you are way brave and strong beyond measure. Kyle is a true 😇😇😇
Enjoy each day and make many memories 💚💚💚
I have my liver w/dye May 5th and I'm dreading the 40+ minute lying flat too
YOU DID AWESOME 🎉
Hoping all goes well for you! Maybe if you can put some headphones on and listen to music or a podcast or something, it might make the time pass by faster, especially if you're not allowed to talk.
Watch Dr. Ken Berry and his RN wife. She suffered from an autoimmune disease and cured it completely by staying as close to zero as possible with carbohydrates and sugar. Amazing progress with ketones and cancer. I know the liver has the amazing ability to be regenerative.
@@hollybrabeau thank you so much for the information!!! Will do
Wish you could some how stand or sit to have this mri.
Jenny you are so brave, you shouldn’t put yourself through unnecessary pain. Take any pain relief you can get to make this more comfortable. Kyle is such a beautiful husband, so supportive and kind. Love to you all from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤
Never pathetic and always always inspiring. Please try and give yourself some grace. Never ever feel that you disappoint any of us and we think any less of you for asking for the sedation. Your goal is to get the best images possible without agony. We love you Jenny with tears, pain, anxiety, honesty and gentle spirit!! Thank you ❤
Pathetic you kidding me, I was rooting every minute for you , that was rough Jenny but your a legend and Kyle I love you more with each vlog your truely a blessing, you can only do what your body tolerates Jenny, and what works for you mentally, emotionally and physically, but you got this , we your utube family will be with you every second your not alone, love from Sydney Australia 🦘 x
Why cant i choose too give my time to Jenny??? WHY? I would much rather give my blessed time to her...she deserves it 😭😭😭 she was so beautiful! Its just not fair!
The most important thing is that you have the MRI,, how you do it is really based on what is comfortable for you. If you need the meds, just take them, look at it like this,, every day is precious and in the days leading up to these tests you are sad, and anxious. Why do that? Just know that you can be medicated and you will be comfortable then you can relax and enjoy every day right up to the test. There is no harm in knowing what your limits are and respecting that. It's all about quality of life every single day. Wish I could give you a hug and let you know it's going to be ok.
Jenny, there’s absolutely no shame in asking for sedation if you’re in pain. It’s important that you lie still so the scan is optimal. You know that. Don’t put yourself through that pain if you don’t have to. Keep us posted. ❤
My heart breaks for you Jenny. Stay strong, you can do this ❤❤
Jenny, I don't understand why you are trying so hard to lay flat. As a nurse, I can promise we don't care (judge) if you need sedation. I don't mean to sound harsh, but we love the chance to do our job. The only one who is judging you is you. 💝 I worked as a sedation nurse for many years, and it means you are enabling us to do our job. 😁 I suspect you want to be able to have control of your body, and the cancer is not allowing you to have that. I am so sorry. I pray you can learn to be at peace with what your body is able to do and not do at this time. Love you. ❤
Oh my, Jenny, that was super brave! I've had cancer, and I know how painful it is. 8 years after my cancer diagnosis, the radiation had blocked my left carotid artery. (I have a rare situation where my blood doesn't pass over between both sides of my brain.) I never knew that when half of your brain dries up, it is beyond excruciating. It was the worst pain I've ever had. My doctor ordered a brain MRI, and I thought I was going to pass out and couldn't even hold my head still, which made it take longer. The next time, they ran an IV with fentanyl and versed, which helped tremendously. And I didn't have to recover from being put completely out. Oh, my oncologist told me that many people have to be put completely under every time for an MRI just for anxiety. So, there's no shame for experiencing anxiety or pain. Be as comfortable as you can possibly be because there is no sense in suffering. Love and hugs to you, Jenny 🙏💕
Praying for you to get through your MRI with a bearable pain level ❤
She has strong pain meds for that. What she's scared of and struggling with is not being able to breathe.
You did wonderfully! I wouldn't have even tried. Try not to be so hard on yourself. So proud of you.
Hi Jenny, don’t put yourself through any more suffering because of embarrassment or trying to be strong. You are strong.Sedatives are there to help. I know that losing one’s abilities is hard. I’m losing them through age and severe arthritis. At first when I used a cane and people would treat me differently, I thought I could do without it but it hurt and I fell.
Kyle is a wonderful husband and you have wonderful support and wonderful children. You are a wonderful mother. Pain sucks! Never feel embarrassed about anything. We love you!❤ Aloha
Jenny was so brave!!!! She is missed.
Having sedation is perfectly fine to use every time you need it. Don’t put yourself through pressure and stress. You may not have control over everything to do with your cancer but this part you do. Be kind to yourself Jenny, biggest hugs xo
Yes, please, Jenny🙏
You are definitely NOT pathetic. You are a brave warrior. I hope you accept any comfort you can get and don't reject it because of the mental idea of it. You guys are awesome and such inspiration.
Jenny, I really get why you would want to try to lie flat without sedation. I think you are incredibly strong and brave and you have every right to be super proud of yourself for doing so well in your experiment. I would just like to make another point to add strength to the other comments. I suffer from a chronic condition that is both disabling and painful. I see many similarities between my condition and the types of pain and the emotional battles you describe so eloquently. A practitioner at the pain clinic I attend once said to me that we all have limited resources with which we battle life’s challenges, whether we are disabled or not. Why waste your precious resources on something you can get help with? Chose your battles wisely in order that you can have as fulfilling and happy life as possible. Why struggle to do something so solitary and resource hungry that will leave you too exhausted and full of pain to enjoy activities that you truly love and make wonderful memories with your loved ones? Nobody is going to say, “isn’t she clever (or brave), she did this one thing by herself”, but your family will say, “isn’t she wonderful fun to be around” when you have the energy to join in…. I think you are an incredible woman Jenny, put yourself first and accept all the help you can get. It is not a weakness to get help but it is a strength to ask for it! ❤
So tenderly expressed. Bless you.💜🙏💜
Oh Jenny! There is not one thing that’s pathetic about doing what you need to do to stay comfortable during tests and treatments that are necessary to fight this battle. You are NOT weak, you are human, and you are a beautiful, beautiful person, inside and out. Do what you need to do to get through this comfortably, without the anxiety and pain. We’re Team Jenny❤❤
It's really hard to watch you cry Jenny. I am so sorry for all these things you have to go through. I hope this treatment helps you very soon. You need a very long cancer vacation !!!! Your a great wife and an awesome Mom !!! Love to you and your family
Jenny, you are a remarkably brave woman! I’ll continue to pray for a healing of your cancer. ❤️🙏🏻
If you need to be sedated, don’t feel bad about asking for it. I’m sure you’re not the only one. You’re such a brave girl and fantastic Momma! Hugs to you all! ❤️
Jenny you are your own worst Critic. Please be kind to yourself, you are a beautiful Warrior. I am going through your Journey.
I know it was important for you to share this.
For others who may be going through the same thing as you.
We love you Jenny and that will never change.
You are very strong person and you are very much loved.❤
Jenny it's Deb from COH. Please accept help to manage your pain. Do the sedation. You are strong and you need to reserve your strength. I wish Kyle could be with you and talk you thru the MRI. He has such a calming effect on you. Please don't turn down the help and alternative assistance. You're in the best hands.
You did amazing! As a RN I can tell you the anesthesia medication they give you is so safe and leaves your system so fast. I’m so proud that you were able to lie flat for your test but the pain you were experiencing was so hard to watch. I pray that you will go with the sedation so you can have the mri without suffering. Also, remember the mri table is hard so that will also inhibit your lungs to expand. I am amazed by your bravery and strength every time I watch your videos! Be kind to yourself and know we are praying fervently for you! You are not fighting this alone!! ❤️
I just want to send you big hugs. As someone who has a neurological disability that causes pain amongst other things and other health conditions. I know how frustrating and upsetting it is when the body just doesn't play ball. I've been hard on myself too, trying to manage without pain relief. But I've learned. Life is hard enough why suffer more than you have to? Making something a bit easier means the day is a bit brighter. Please take the sedation and be kind to yourself. I imagine that the change is scary but being as comfortable as you can be on this journey is good for you and those around you. Sending love ,hugs and prayers from North Scotland
You are so sweet, Jenny. No matter what, you are building a legacy to show people, including your children, that no cancer patient loses any battle. You are a winner, and always will be a winner.
Jenny you are so loved and watching your videos gives me the strength and courage to face my own health issues and you make me feel like I’m not alone. I hope you feel the warmth and love and support from your community here on RUclips!
I'm at work crying with you. You are so strong and brave. You tried your best that's all you can do. I'll be praying for you for your MRI.♥
Dear Jenny - thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments and struggles. You are helping so many others not feel alone in the things they are facing.
I am continually so thankful for you that you have such an empathetic partner in Kyle - what a tremendous blessing.
Please don't equate needing sedation or pain meds with failure - they are simply tools to help you through. Use the tools without guilt.
I'm praying for your ultimate healing and recovery, and sending my love.
Here I am, another member of the perfectionist club. It really hurts to live with the cruelty we inflict on ourselves. The only thing that has helped me is this. We have to learn to treat ourselves in the same way that we would treat a small child. Look inside and find out where we learned to do otherwise. Who said that we must be so called perfect. Who said that we are failures if we seek relief from pain. Who said that in-during pain means you’re perfect.
You. Are. A. Badass! My son was/is sedated for EVERY SINGLE SCAN he has had for the last 3 years(ish). He is 10 now and I fully believe he could do it if he tried but he has no desire to do them awake. I think its the trauma of cancer like you were saying. His team has been so great about letting him do what he is comfortable with. It does make for much much longer scan days but to us its so worth it! I am so crazy thankful that it's an option for him. It's truly a mercy from God that we live in a time and location where it is possiable if and when needed. I am so dang proud of you Jenny. You are truly a hero to many of us.
Jenny , there’s a nerve that runs up from your diaphragm to the shoulder.
My partner was diagnosed with CML (40). We found out when his spleen filled with white blood cells, which pressed against his diaphragm which affected the nerve in/near his left shoulder! He had other typical symptoms but the doctor didn’t spot the enlarged spleen and it was the consultant who told us about this nerve. Maybe, it’s worth asking them about this long nerve? ❤️
Jenny we are all so proud of you.. no one thinks any less of you.. are you kidding you are a champ for sure. Such a fighter all while being the best mom, wife, sister, daughter. I think you did an amazing job today, and I’ll bet bf the trial you wouldn’t have been able to lay that long.. that tells me it’s working.praying that before long you can lay on your back anytime you want and won’t even have to worry about it being for scans. I think you look healthy and beautiful. You are such an inspiration Jenny, never forget that. Hugs n love to you and your whole family ❤❤
Praying for you ❤
My mom passed from lung cancer in December. We found out in November 😢 watching your videos make me wonder how long she truly suffered before the diagnosis and how awful and scary she must have been all the weeks, months, years before we found out. Ugh. So sad Jennie Apple, you’re in my thoughts and so is your family sweet heart 💜
My mom too. I’m so sorry. It does make you feel bad wondering how much they silently suffered.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel I just lost my father 3 months ago to stage 3 lung cancer From smoking 6 packs a day. As well as 2 open heart surgery. But from the time of his diagnosis and his passing was about 3 months.
You, dear Jenny, are nothing short of incredible. I love your determination and bravery and I love how supportive Kyle is. As others have said, there is no shame in needing sedation to get through these tests/scans. “Please still love me” 😳 hay hay hay, how could we do anything but love you, love you to the moon and back. Hope all goes well, huge gentle hug and extra love ❤❤❤
I’m so sorry to see you in such a pain. You are so brave. You are every day in my toughts ❤️
Dear Jenny, I cry watching you. It is so hard and you are so brave, I pray that you be strengthened by God.
With caring thoughts from
Australia WA
Dear Jenny, you're such an incredibly brave woman ! what a trial you're going through,! (as my daughter who also is fighting cancer with a lot of pain.)
While I was watching you, I kept praying that God gives you strength, which we can see every day you have plenty of . Don't ever feel ashamed of crying , what you're going through is traumatic in every way.. You're like a bright star shinning through your tears. Stay strong and positive, most of all keep that radiant HOPE !!! God is listening.
Many prayers for you and your beautiful family. Hugs and lots of love every day !❤🙏
What sbout finding a upright MRI machine?
I've never wanted to give a hug to someone as much as I do right now! Jenny you're such a trooper! We all love you so much! Please get your sedation and never feel bad about it! Take care ...luv ya!
I’m praying for you and please don’t be sorry about crying you’re going through alot so we understand ❤🙏🏽
Oh Jenny why put yourself thru more pain. Just take the sedation. Nobody will think less of you. Nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Just be comfortable and be sedated. I agree with Kyle...you are very brave to try that. You are definitely NOT pathetic or a whimp. You are brave!!!
There is a difference between doing something, and suffering through something. If anything this shows how much sedation can HELP you! No one with Cancer or any long term illness should force themselves to "suffer through it" when we have so many wonderful alternatives to help you make it a much easier, much gentler, much less scary process. You are lucky to have such a wonderful team with you, allow then to help, that is why they are all there with you. It does not mean you are weak, pathetic, unable, or any less than. Maybe a bit stubborn... 😘 but definitely one of the strongest people I've ever had the joy of viewing on RUclips and in my real life! YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN, FULL OF HOPE, LOVE, AND STRENGTH! ❤😊❤ Save your strength for times when they can't help you, right now you can get sedated, so why not let them! 🤷🏼♀️ I'm sure in the end you will agree it's the best route for you. I think you just wanted to prove it to yourself, but please don't ever feel like you need to prove it to anyone else! This is YOUR journey! Do it in your own way, however that looks best for you! 💙 Sending so much love and prayers from Boston!💙