The Greatest Best Man Speech Ever?
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
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The rap I did as part of my best man speech. Hommage paid to the GLC:
Lyrics:
Dangerous! As he likes to be known,
Got him down as Arsemark on my phone,
You can call him Archy, You can call him Davies,
Let him in your house and your gonna have to brave this
Storm! of farts and sweat,
Gonna leave a hefty stink on that you can bet,
He'll be swearing! And shouting too,
Make sure your mothers not around cos he'll turn the air blue,
CHORUS
He's the.....all singing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all dancing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all swearing (Lukey!)
He's the Lukey Davies!
Over Karens!
he's often about
On sunday afternoon after eating her out,
Of house and home! And when theres nothing left to go fer,
It's off for a kip on Nigels sofa
A two meat roast, both beef and lamb,
Into his face, he likes to cram,
When he's eating and you're in earshot he's ever so loud,
I know Mel and Pat must be ever so proud
BREAKDOWN
He's a culinary genius,
A sandwich magician,
Red like tomato,
A bacon technician
He spits when he talks,
Farts all day long,
At the drop of a hat,
He'll break into song
CHORUS
He's the.....all singing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all dancing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all swearing (Lukey!)
He's the Lukey Davies!
Love is blind,
or so the saying goes,
But you've never seen him
wipe bogeys on your windows
Thing is though, It's Lewy
that's in for a treat,
Spending the rest of her life
not getting any sleep,
If hes passed out in Cardiff
and I hate to be cruel
You could probably hear him snoring
if you were in the Ponytpool
If it wasn't so tragic you'd
have to laugh,
Lying next to the Banshee
of Llandaff
Lewy's really found
the perfect Hubby,
but as we all know
he's a little bit grubby
Eating bacon with his hands,
from a pasta bowl,
Why is there jam
on the remote control?!
And after he's been to the loo,
It wont be smelling of flowers
Its actually probably best not go in there,
for the next 24 hours
And if that wasnt enough you've got
to put up us too,
Too late Lewy,
You've already said "I do"
CHORUS
He's the.....all singing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all dancing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all swearing (Lukey!)
He's the Lukey Davies!
He used to have his hair,
just like Sonic,
At 32 years old,
It looked something chronic,
I marched him down the barbers
much to his disgrace
And now he just looks
like Ricky Gervais
On to his face
Look at it from afar,
Do recall
how he got that scar?
Roaming the forests,
Fighting with wild beasts?
Or Crash landing a plane
in the middle East?
Or was it that time
he was swimming in the nile,
Playing Mick dundee
Wrestling with crocodiles?
Scapping with a bloke
that was 10 times bigger?
Or did just trip over
that postman pat slipper?
CHORUS
He's the.....all singing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all dancing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all swearing (Lukey!)
He's the Lukey Davies!
He's a magician!
make sure you're en guard
His sorcery
will leave you mentally scarred
A coin from your ear,
just like a pro
Oh my god!
Where did that pencil go!?
You can hear him, from miles away
Cos his massive gob has lots to say
If he cant be seen then he'll always be heard,
Down Cardiff City screaming for the bluebirds
Late at night is his new thing,
When he invites you home to sample his boxing,
Better watch out he might do you harm,
Cos hes got Lenny strength in that right arm
CHORUS
He's the.....all singing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all dancing (Lukey!)
He's the.....all swearing (Lukey!)
He's the Lukey Davies!
He's the.....all shouting(Lukey!)
He's the.....all eating (Lukey!)
He's the.....all sweating (Lukey!)
He's the Lukey Davies!
He's your friend with the red face (face),
He is all ov-er the place (place)
And if he greets you with an embrace (brace)
Better wash your hands though
just in case
(he's so loud, he's got a red face)
(he's so loud, he's got a red face)
(he's so loud, he's got a red face)
(he's so loud, he's got a red face)
Voice over
He's the one youll find at 6 in the morning swilling
a bottle of jack daniels shouting an tha'
Making a nuisance of himself, you know,
Dancing round the front room, keep Lewy awake......
Big finish
He's an onion eating, small feeting,
big competing, warm greeting,
Fifa beating, toilet seating,
Sweety treating, Twitter tweeting
Guitar playing, slightly greying,
Oft' delaying, late paying,
Bluebird baying, Nerve fraying,
Drunken swaying, Just saying
Glove fighting, nail biting
big shiteing, fart ignighting,
Children frightening, crowd delighting
mind enlightening, bottom tightening
Alrighting? All nighting,
white lightning, naked sighting,
silence blighting, song writing,
kind of guuuuuuuuuyyyyyy
Mind blowing man !!!
You are absolutely legend!!
Viral viral !!😘😘😘
Brilliant! well done, and make sure you monetarised it for when it goes vitral.
We met you all in Butlins back in March, cracking speech!
Lukeey Davies !!!
This has to go viral
Sparm you absolute legend!!
Well played Spencer. Well played.
Brilliant fair play. That was epic!
Absolutely nailed it!
Lyrics added in description as requested
Brilliant!
+Spencer Loveridge Hey Spencer, We're making a programme on weddings at ITN and would love to talk to you about your awesome wedding speech. Email me to discuss further - huntleyf@itn.co.uk. Thanks! Francesca
Top job - Epic Rap !!!!
Mind blown!
Fucking brilliant :-)
Awesome!
Any chance of listing the lyrics... the automated ones are hilarious.
I've shared it with Ricky Gervais so you may get a few more views... also, are you available for our wedding ;)
Hey man super job!! What's the instrumental beat in the background called please? Once again awesome job.
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. The is just one I made myself
well it was awesome and its me write my speech as we speak
I have spent months studying ready-made wedding speeches and found a fantastic resource at Jasontas Best Speech (google it if you're interested)
Nice one clart!
Good One..
This trend is really Good. I was not aware about it before and just know about it. I think, I am going to try it on my brother's wedding. It will really be a great fun and new trend in may family. Please help me to find some good speeches. I just find one from weddingspeecheshub.com which is very amazing.
Very very goood :)
so who's the guy getting married?