Hey guys it's been a goal of mine to create longer form content on this channel BUT I knew I wanted a "producing partner." Please welcome my good friend Kevin. Let us know what you think of this format. See ya dudes soon. Have a great day : )
Okay, first off, love Kevin! *Hi Kevin!) and YES, this format is wonderful... as many have commented, it's like being with friends and listening in on the conversation! I vote yes, keep doing these! Love ya!
This was amazing and the open and honest commentary was incredibly therapeutic. Its always super helpful and relieving to hear other people going through the same struggles mentally and physically.
Absolutely love this format! It’s an honor to be invited to listen in and share your friendship. Your openness and glimpse into your beautiful spirit is refreshing. Big, virtual hugs.
"I don't give myself a chance to be liked or loved." I pull back and don't make myself available to them. Right there with ya, brother. Sometimes the fear is overwhelming for me. That's one of the reasons why I'm alone at 60. My story is too long to tell but I am who I am. Love ya, Mark.
More of this please :) This was so nice and refreshing. Felt like I was just chilling on the couch with both of you listening and enjoying the depth of the conversation
I’m going through the same thing right now Mark. I was in a relationship for 4.5 years and it ended horribly, then after 2 years I dated another person who ended up being abus*ve. It’s been 6 months now, and it feels so impossible to get back out there. My body and brain almost refuse to. No hookups, no dating, nothing. You’re not alone
Kevin, what a fantastic addition to this channel. You’re a breath of fresh air, a joy to listen to, and a catalyst to the inner-working of Mark’s mind and vice versa. I look forward to more conversations and learning more about you both! Cheers. ❤️
I've been in a relationship for almost 30 years and at first I used to tell people. "When you meet the one you'll know." But I think as I've matured I realized that life is not in any way binary. Even as far as love/not love - so what I'd recommend now is to leave space for the possibility. If you vibe with someone, explore that but don't try and make it fit into anyone's idea of a what a relationship is. Let it have enough oxygen to find it's own life. It's own truth. Sometimes it will burst into flames, sometimes it will be a warm glow. Just go with it.
“Sometimes all you can do is show up.” I heard this after helping an upset women at the airport. After talking for a bit she let me know she was headed to say goodbye to her life long best friend who was in hospice. She told me everything and I couldn’t fathom anyone dealing with such a tragic event and asked, “How are you getting through this?” Her answer was “Sometimes you just have to show up.” Show up for your loved ones, and random people in the airport!
This was a BIG step forward Mr. Miller. Kevin was great. Cute, and handsome, and both were on point in your responses. Thanks for an insight into your worlds and thinking. It was cool.
I can relate to Mark SO HARD. I was in an 8 yr relationship with a narcissist. Now it is super difficult to even trust that the person I'm dating is genuine and not just pretending to be someone they are not.
Listening to you Mark reminds me of something which is "first we have a loving relationship with ourselves so that we are open to being loved". You're special! ✨
Mark, I've been a follower since 2015. Your support helped me accept myself in my senior year of high school and come out to my family. I appreciate the inspiring content you share. It's refreshing to see the not-so-pretty aspects of life. Keep up the great work. Love ya, see ya, byeeeeeee. ☺️
Yes I agree with you on what he's doing... it's a bit of a high wire act for him at times, but he has to know...we got him. Even tho he doesn't read comments much anymore (according to a recent vid). It's ok Mark it's called maturing in a strange soc media world, being a romantic I know how hard that is, we have that in common. I'm not a youtube star for all to see tho. Despite how hot he is i dunno if I want to date in his fame skin (I have a bunch of hot friends, I see what they go thru...)
that was cute, i feel like Mark falls in love so easy and the way he was getting teary made me feel he loves Kevin too. Now Love is a subjective thing as everyone knows but it is good to just say it as you feel it in the moment. loved this video. Pro tip for Mark- keep falling in love as there is nothing wrong with it :)
This content>>> I really love this road you are starting down rn. I first started watching you when your were living in bloominton (idr even how long ago that was) but I find this new form of content morally and emotionally invigorating and immensely entertaining to watch. Im getting out of my college years and into a new part of life yet I have had to be more and more unapologetically honest with myself and what I want and what I need right now. Watching your content and you grow has in turn helped me grow too, so thank you, mark.
I really like Kevin. We only got 25 mins of him but I can tell he is internally and externally such a beautiful person to have in your life. More of Kevin please and thanks! Byeeeee!!
I think this format is a really good one and I hope you continue with it. And now I want to seek out Kevin’s channel and see what kind of videos he makes about books.
Regarding to your contribution to the world, I really want to say that 9 years ago, you were the reason I was able to come to terms with my sexuality, accept myself and even believe a positive future was possible. So I, and I’m sure many more, really appreciate you letting us in, thank you.
I love how this video is about openness and honesty. Loved how you can now express what you have in mind, mark. Usually we just see how wholesome you and your videos are without ever really seeing what's inside, away from these edits and selected clips. This is beautiful. Need more!
@MarkE Miller it's not how will you know or what will you think, it's more of what feeling occurs viscerally in your heart space. The evolution of allowing a friendship to evolve into a relationship or beyond is the key.... p.s. I'm Virgo ♍ rising... the OVER analyzers of the zodiac. Analysis paralysis can be shifted with breath work sessions and/or meditation. Hope this helps 🙏
We love Kevin … and I figured what/who Kevin is for Mark … he is a representative of all of us around the world that have been following you Mark since the beginning and wishing we could be your friend and support you in life because you are such a pure and gentle soul and deserve to be loved by friends … and hopefully soon by a new boyfriend … trust me … well not me just trust … trust the universe … I’m sure it will work something up for you to be completely happy cause you deserve it! ❤
Thanks again for allowing us to see this! You have always been there for me as well when I have needed it. With all the steps you have taken and shown us, thanks for being there. But don’t forget to look after yourself!
I have been watching you since most probably the first videos. Life has so many twists and turns… now, reflecting back on your journey. I also just went through mine. Yes, your early years were inviting us very closely into your personal life… but it helped! It gave us (especially us who were in the closet) showing us that things will get better. And yes, I never thought it was always great (relationships-wise) but I can just wish to meet someone like you… and you prove that I should rather wait, because people like you do exist! So thank you !! 😊😊😊😊 Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be you… stay true! Your growth, spiritually, emotionally and mentally is inspiring!
I can empathize pretty hard with deciding in advance whether or not someone is going to like you, but the best way around it is to understand that you're not in a position to decide that for them - it has to be something they decide themselves, and you have to give them that chance. It's scary because if you suspect they wont like you and they end up not liking you, it can be pretty damaging but dealing with that is the only way to build confidence in yourself rather than playing it safe and subconsciously clinging to the hope that you might've been wrong.
I feel like this endeavor will be quite therapeutic and introspective. You and Kevin play well off each other. there's just enough of a hint of differences in perspectives and lived lessons that its not jarring when they dont align, because both parties are willing to listen, reflect and understand each other. Its a new year. Here for the journey.
“I don’t believe in instance love”. I really resonate with that statement. I am such a hopeless romantic, too, and it took me much of my early 20s to realize that sparks don’t need to fly in order to give me a chance. I think you speak for all of us - gay, straight, LGBTQIA, etc. - and I found a lot of what you both said very valuable. Thank you guys! Keep doing you! These are amazing!
I completely identify with the dating part and the Virgo part. It is seriously so hard and I do the exact same thing...push people away or friend zone them. Even just avoiding talking to anyone outside of work at all. I have my routine and nothing else really outside of it. I literally have so much anxiety over it and I try to tell myself that I am a work in progress and not to stress it because you will know when it's the right person as they say...but how do you know? How will I know if I never even try to put myself out there. It's been for different reasons over the years but it's something that I desperately have to work on this year more than ever. Thank you so much for sharing this. It's really nice to know that I am not the only person who does this. You are really the best. Also, this was a great conversation in general and Kevin is awesome! Love ya!😀💞
Going through a good ol cry is always therapeutic to me, and it’s ironic how sometimes you’re aware of it coming up but you just try to delay it cuz it’s not the right time rn. But eventually it always catches up with you and you gotta go through it whether you like it or not 💁🏼♂️
I like this format. I enjoy the conversational setting. It makes me want to grab a coffee and sit back and relax as I listen to the back-and-forth. This could be the start of something really big.
I think it’s interesting - the idea of instant love. I think it’s 100% possible that the person that’s meant for you will be all fireworks and sparks when you first meet them. I think it’s a great indicator that things align at that point in time, but yall also mentioned that love takes work, and is a daily choice. Once the sparks fade (and that’s guaranteed) it’s a conscious choice to keep going and maybe ignite that spark in different ways. Love’s a really fun and frustrating jigsaw puzzle that way. Needless to say this video was very enjoyable - really felt the genuine chemistry here!
That depends though if it's a narcissist or not, because when you meet a narcissists you think you have met your soulmate. The cycle of narcissistic relationships alternates between idealization and devaluation. Neither idealization nor devaluation are about the other person at all. They include no realistic understanding of the other person in any way. They are about the narcissist affected and even delusional way of seeing other people and themselves. The manipulations employed by narcissists generally involve the ego of other people and they consist of ego feeding, ego starving and ego shaming. Narcissists are a fairy tale. not just in the sense of how amazing it appears to be before you know better although that's definitely part of it. Like in a lot of fairy tales thy often have a dark side. In many fairy tales there is the appearance of safety or something pleasant that actually turns out to be something scary or dangerous. In Little Red Riding Hood the wolf masquerades as the grandmother whom he ate. In Snow White the Evil Queen's stepmother wants to consume Snow White B's heart so that she can become immortal so she masquerades as a harmless old woman offering an apple that turns out to be poisoned. In Hansel and gredle the witch has a candy house that lurs in children so that she can eat them. This is the relationship with a narcissist. Just like in fairy tales the initial experience presented is an illusion and also just as it is in fairy tales it's only once it's too late to turn back and people feel like they're trapped in some way, that they're able to see how things really are. They are able to see how they were misled, how the illusion was constructed and carried off. It is only when people can see the reality that they can see how much of an illusion it really was. W When you're in a relationship that operates so much in the realm of fantasy with so much gaslighting, so much unreality it can be difficult to understand what's really going on, who this person really or are they what they seem or what they say or what they show, if they are some other entirely different thing from all of those things and what even is happening. Narcissists exist in the idealized part of the fairy tale all the time. The illusion is real to narcissists because they don't live in reality and so as long as somebody else is buying into it they can buy into it too. Things change for you and you start to see the narcissist and yourself differently as you start to see through the illusion, but it doesn't change for them in that way . They still see themselves the same, what they see differently is you and only because you no longer live in their illusion with them.. now they are the innocent trusting child who has been tricked and you are the wicked stepmother or the big bad wolf Who tricked them, probably because you're trying to harm or maybe even kill them somehow. These are extreme personalities, they're locked in a literal death struggle with themselves and they don't even know it. They think other people are the ones in their way and e trying to hurt them. As soon as someone shows any doubt or resistance to The Narcissist fairy tale that other person becomes the villain in the story because only a bad guy would want to hurt other people and by doubting a narcissist illusion you have mortally wounded them. Anyone who has seen the way that narcissists react to having their Illusions doubted questioned or God forbid punctured with reality somehow can attest to that. To say they react extremely poorly to this is almost laughable understatement in so many situations. It's read as an attack on the only sense of self that they have and they appear to take it as like a death threat of sorts. That is why these relationships are doomed from the beginning unless you're going to live in their illusions with them and support these Illusions no matter how reality contradicts the situation. It's not going to work out if you're not willing to agree and reiterate for example that your narcissistic husband is not an alcoholic even though he drinks until he passes out every single night for the last 10 years and cannot function without without alcohol. If you can't wipe every single incident that contradicts this out of your memory or willing to agree and reiterate there's going to be a problem. It isn't enough for you to just not give a dissenting opinion, you have to enthusiastically endorse their fairy tale of themselves and of reality. You have to agree with it wholeheartedly and behave at all times as if that is reality. You have to agree that they are the best and the smartest and that they're always right and everybody else is the worst and stupid and always wrong, including yourself at all times and in all situations for all the reasons and also for no reason. If you're not willing to do that there's going to be a problem and the truth is even if you were willing to do that you'd still fail at it because you don't live in their illusion, therefore there are going to be times when you will inject actual reality into the situation(even if it's by accident) and then there's a problem. Usually a big one why because this is all they have and you're ruining it. Their real lives are a bitter disappointment to the majority of narcissists, even the ones who are successful never seem to be happy, nothing is ever good enough for them or satisfies them because they are empty holes that can never be filled. If they ever had the capacity for happiness it was likely lost a long time ago. The only way they can manage at all is by playing pretend. If you disrupt that you are bad and you don't want them to be happy, you're the bad guy. Narcissists aren't the only ones enamored with this amazing fairy tale beginning or the good side of these relationships either. It's very easy to become caught up in these fantasies and the other people involved are often just as caught up. The Illusions they offer are very attractive. Most Illusions are the main attraction of fantasies is that they're not real. They are idealized versions of things and there's no better example of how this works than the pathologically narcissistic personality. Narcissists offer an idealized fantasy version of the themselves and they interact with and react to an idealized fantasy version of other people. Other people fall in love with the fantasy version of The Narcissist and with how the narcissist sees and treats the fantasy version of themselves. The problem is that since it's all an idealized fantasy it's not real and when the other person in the relationship attempts to make it real by trying to move forward into an actual relationship with expectations of things such as emotional intimacy it just falls apart. The relationship cannot sustain even basic attempts to make it real, even basic expectations. Many times people are upset with themselves once they're able to see through the illusion. In relationships with narcissist there are often moments where people become suspicious, have doubts or realize something is wrong. In Little Red Riding Hood she can see that something doesn't make sense about her grandmother. She doesn't necessarily know what it is but she can feel it. She can see it something's wrong. However the reality of the situation was not something that she ever could have anticipated or guessed and that too is like a relationship with a narcissist. People often beat themselves up for missing, dismissing or ignoring red flags in the beginning of the relationship. The truth isthough even if you acknowledge them and even if you had tried to address them how could anyone possibly know what these things ultimately mean. Many people do do just that, they do see the red flags, acknowledge them and they do try to address them, but they still don't have any idea what the red flag behaviors can mean until it's too late. Why would anybody think this is what the relationship is later going to turn into. Even people who have previously experienced abuse often cannot fathom how badly this can end up being. It's just not something most people are able to foresee or to pick up, especially when we're talking about relationships. With caregivers and parents It's not even possible for people to question these relationships until they're no longer children in the majority of situations and to truly understand what the relationship really is. Usually takes much much longer. There is one advantage we do have as adults though and in some ways it's the key to the whole thing. As adults we have power. The kids in the fairy tales go into the woods with the wood cutter who is supposed to kill them or they go with the stepmother who then leaves them there to die. In real life they get in the car with the stranger who says "oh your mother sent me to get you" and it's not always because because they're so trusting. In Hansel and gredle they left a trail of breadcrumbs so they could find their way home specifically because they did not trust the wicked stepmother. They go because they're kids and they feel like they have no choice. That is what makes children such easy targets for Predators. Not only are they trusting they don't have the power that adults have. When an adult tells a child to do something they do it not just because they're trusting, maybe not even because of that at all in some cases, but because they don't feel like they have any choice. As adults we do have the power to choose and we need to use that so we can make that muscle as strong as possible. We can say no to things. We can choose not to do things. We can make up our own minds. This often doesn't sound like much to people but coupled with the knowledge of narcissists and how bad things can get it makes all the difference in the world going forward because that's all the power we really need.
Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller says...Life moves preety fast. If you dont stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. This quote is very profound 👏👏👏 Its not easy, however aspire to live our fragile cherished and precious life on earth with manners, passion, gratitude, kindness, love, forgiveness, and patience. Thank you for posting this chat. Sending hugs, smiles, comfort and serenity to everyone 😘🫂🙏🌈
This talk was so good for me. I can identify with you (mark) and the way you feel trying to get into a new relationship. I can start each new relationship looking for the lie and I always find it - no surprise. After a 24 year marriage to my best friend to find out they cheated was devastating. How can I ever trust my judgment again. It’s so hard.
As I fellow Virgo... I feel you. I'm very good at the "work"-packing things into labeled boxes and then meticulously organizing those boxes... but NEVER dealing with the things in those boxes unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. Even then I'll probably schedule it when I'm completely alone because I'd rather not have a Feeling™ around other people. That last part likely has less to do with my Virgo and more to do with growing up being told by the adults in my life that I was "being dramatic" anytime I expressed even an ounce of emotion. 😂 I've learned that it's so completely patronizing to attempt to "manage" how someone else feels. It's a noble impulse to not want to hurt others-intentionally or otherwise-but it's unfair to not let them feel however they want to feel about something. Relationships are tricky that way.
Definitely more of this; it was a fun conversation, great to meet Kevin (he's cute and very insightful too) and see you two just free-flow talking together. :)
This was super interesting! Thank you Mark! Kevin has a good vibe and I just loved how the two of you can sit down, be totally laid back, and share what’s on your mind while supporting each other.
A response to the convo on 22:19 : approach dating with intention honestly, its a healthy approach to the cycle anyone might find themselves. Virgo, you're the fighter in the relationship, seek balance within and willingness to compromise. And remember, it's how we viewed our parents love at times is how we show up in our relationships. It's our duty to reparent ourselves to "find the one" with intentional dating n feel we "found the one".
It’s interesting and at the same time vulnerable of yourself because I’ve always seen you as this very confident person. However, you bring up a great point that we only see a portion of what you want to show the world. I’m in the process of self discovery and putting myself out there so I get it. You’ll find the right person! Best of luck.
Loved Kevin and would love to call him my friend. Kevin is very genuine like you are Mark. You sell yourself short a lot of times but stop that. You are a remarkably talented, good looking and smart man. Just believe that about yourself. You deserve someone as nice as you are and anyone would be lucky to call you friend or lover or husband. Sometimes you will meet someone that fits into all three categories. And you will know it when you are supposed to. Good luck. Still love your channel. You are one of my favorite You Tube creators. Just keep doing what you are doing and things will work out for you. ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊😊😊😊
"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile, and nothing can grow there. Too much, the best of us is washed away. My rains have come and gone for now." - J. Michael Straczynski
I watch whatever you post. You just make gold, man. You've been making gold since you started this thing and I've learned A LOT from you over the years. Lots of people are rooting for you and look forward to these videos. ❤
Hey Mark! I totally agree with respect to the dating atmosphere. I feel like in post-COVID times it has become harder to connect and get close to one another. I've been using the excuse of a full time college schedule in avoiding meeting someone new atm and I am afraid what will be once I graduate. Even maintaining solid friendships have been somewhat of a challenge 😩... love these style of videos btw and LOTs of love from Redlands ❤
As a fellow Virgo, I can completely relate to scheduling a "cry", haha. Definitely something "we" keep to ourselves usually, goddess forbid we let someone in that part of our lives easily...
I really liked the 2 of you co-creating this content. Mark you e always been somewhat natural in front of the camera but I felt a sense of calm wash over you with Kevin sitting next to you. This felt like a therapy session but also just a deep convo between friends
I followed what seems like forever ago. I love your energy and always have. Your ability to express vulnerability is beautiful. It's okay to not share everything with your subscribers. As I've aged I've learned that 'some people fall in love with the people they're attracted to, and some people are attracted to the people they love'. I agree with Kevin that love is a choice. Give yourself and the people you meet enough time and grace to see who they are and for you to show them who you are. Time for love to blossom maybe... I know that sounds super cheesy. But... rejecting people after a 3-second view of a pic and a profile in a dating app completely removes any possibility of finding anything more.
I like how you own your issues with having your relationship so public, and the hard truth is, life is damn hard and letting your gaurd down, and letting pain in, learning how to work with pain, how to make it maluble and get tougher over time, we get lonely, bored, and over think everything, and social media is not realilty, all these feelings are normal, and you will know when you meet the person cause the chat will be their, the fun will be their, but also take it slow, no rush man, your doing well, know that your a good person and your doing your best ;)
I really liked this format, Mark. A podcast like this with Kevin would def have me viewing. I’ve been watching for years and additional content type from you can only be good.
Hey guys it's been a goal of mine to create longer form content on this channel BUT I knew I wanted a "producing partner." Please welcome my good friend Kevin. Let us know what you think of this format. See ya dudes soon. Have a great day : )
This is great Mark. Watching feels like hanging out with friends. Thanks for what you do. Lead on!
Brilliant format,thanks Mark.💓
Okay, first off, love Kevin! *Hi Kevin!) and YES, this format is wonderful... as many have commented, it's like being with friends and listening in on the conversation! I vote yes, keep doing these! Love ya!
This was amazing and the open and honest commentary was incredibly therapeutic. Its always super helpful and relieving to hear other people going through the same struggles mentally and physically.
Absolutely love this format! It’s an honor to be invited to listen in and share your friendship. Your openness and glimpse into your beautiful spirit is refreshing. Big, virtual hugs.
"I don't give myself a chance to be liked or loved." I pull back and don't make myself available to them. Right there with ya, brother. Sometimes the fear is overwhelming for me. That's one of the reasons why I'm alone at 60. My story is too long to tell but I am who I am. Love ya, Mark.
More of this please :) This was so nice and refreshing. Felt like I was just chilling on the couch with both of you listening and enjoying the depth of the conversation
It is totally sad to still see pain in Mark’s eyes because of his last relationship. I can relate a lot
I’m going through the same thing right now Mark. I was in a relationship for 4.5 years and it ended horribly, then after 2 years I dated another person who ended up being abus*ve. It’s been 6 months now, and it feels so impossible to get back out there. My body and brain almost refuse to. No hookups, no dating, nothing. You’re not alone
25:22 Micheltorena st is a wonderful spot... 😍
Kevin, what a fantastic addition to this channel. You’re a breath of fresh air, a joy to listen to, and a catalyst to the inner-working of Mark’s mind and vice versa. I look forward to more conversations and learning more about you both! Cheers. ❤️
"I think they wanted some else to be there but we're the ones that showed up". What people in your life who will always show up for you.
Kevin, thank you so much for being what you are to Mark, he is a great guy, and deserves to have a circle of core friends to lean on. Love you Mark
Kevin is great! I 100% enjoyed this conversation between you two and look forward to more of them.
I've been in a relationship for almost 30 years and at first I used to tell people. "When you meet the one you'll know." But I think as I've matured I realized that life is not in any way binary. Even as far as love/not love - so what I'd recommend now is to leave space for the possibility. If you vibe with someone, explore that but don't try and make it fit into anyone's idea of a what a relationship is. Let it have enough oxygen to find it's own life. It's own truth. Sometimes it will burst into flames, sometimes it will be a warm glow. Just go with it.
Congratulations Patrick and your spouse for 30 years together! We are also having our 30 years of living together anniversary but in February.
“Sometimes all you can do is show up.” I heard this after helping an upset women at the airport. After talking for a bit she let me know she was headed to say goodbye to her life long best friend who was in hospice. She told me everything and I couldn’t fathom anyone dealing with such a tragic event and asked, “How are you getting through this?” Her answer was “Sometimes you just have to show up.” Show up for your loved ones, and random people in the airport!
This was a BIG step forward Mr. Miller. Kevin was great. Cute, and handsome, and both were on point in your responses. Thanks for an insight into your worlds and thinking. It was cool.
I absolutely love the longer form videos. Please, please, please keep them coming.
I can relate to Mark SO HARD. I was in an 8 yr relationship with a narcissist. Now it is super difficult to even trust that the person I'm dating is genuine and not just pretending to be someone they are not.
I really liked the way that you and Kevin interact. He seems like a very thoughtful, kind person and makes a great friend.
Listening to you Mark reminds me of something which is "first we have a loving relationship with ourselves so that we are open to being loved". You're special! ✨
Hey Mark, you and Kevin seem like a natural fit and hope to see you two together again. Keep growing and learning✌🏻🫶🏻🌈
Mark,
I've been a follower since 2015. Your support helped me accept myself in my senior year of high school and come out to my family. I appreciate the inspiring content you share. It's refreshing to see the not-so-pretty aspects of life. Keep up the great work. Love ya, see ya, byeeeeeee. ☺️
Yes I agree with you on what he's doing... it's a bit of a high wire act for him at times, but he has to know...we got him. Even tho he doesn't read comments much anymore (according to a recent vid). It's ok Mark it's called maturing in a strange soc media world, being a romantic I know how hard that is, we have that in common. I'm not a youtube star for all to see tho. Despite how hot he is i dunno if I want to date in his fame skin (I have a bunch of hot friends, I see what they go thru...)
that was cute, i feel like Mark falls in love so easy and the way he was getting teary made me feel he loves Kevin too. Now Love is a subjective thing as everyone knows but it is good to just say it as you feel it in the moment. loved this video. Pro tip for Mark- keep falling in love as there is nothing wrong with it :)
Your videos are always so soothing and refreshing to watch. Don’t you ever stop making them. 🥹
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEAASSSEEE DO MORE OF THESE. This connected to deeply with me and I would love to see you do more conversations like these
well done. thanks for the chat... it's helpful for all of us navigating similar circumstances.
These outdoor shots are so beautiful, so dreamy 🥹
Needed this Mark. Thank you for your vulnerability, it’s beautiful and refreshing. Kevin is a great friend.
This content>>> I really love this road you are starting down rn. I first started watching you when your were living in bloominton (idr even how long ago that was) but I find this new form of content morally and emotionally invigorating and immensely entertaining to watch. Im getting out of my college years and into a new part of life yet I have had to be more and more unapologetically honest with myself and what I want and what I need right now. Watching your content and you grow has in turn helped me grow too, so thank you, mark.
I really like Kevin. We only got 25 mins of him but I can tell he is internally and externally such a beautiful person to have in your life. More of Kevin please and thanks! Byeeeee!!
I think this format is a really good one and I hope you continue with it. And now I want to seek out Kevin’s channel and see what kind of videos he makes about books.
Hey dude❣️…. How have you been!?
Do you care for a nice chat and love to know each other🥰
Very healthy conversation! Thanks Kevin & Mark! 😎🥰💖
Regarding to your contribution to the world, I really want to say that 9 years ago, you were the reason I was able to come to terms with my sexuality, accept myself and even believe a positive future was possible. So I, and I’m sure many more, really appreciate you letting us in, thank you.
Really enjoyed this discussion with Kevin and look forward to more. thanks, guys!
Mark, I don’t know you but you seem like such a beautiful human being. Thanks for sharing this x
I’m in my Mark healing and understanding era, waiting to blossom into my mother Kevin era
I love how this video is about openness and honesty. Loved how you can now express what you have in mind, mark. Usually we just see how wholesome you and your videos are without ever really seeing what's inside, away from these edits and selected clips. This is beautiful. Need more!
@MarkE Miller it's not how will you know or what will you think, it's more of what feeling occurs viscerally in your heart space. The evolution of allowing a friendship to evolve into a relationship or beyond is the key.... p.s. I'm Virgo ♍ rising... the OVER analyzers of the zodiac. Analysis paralysis can be shifted with breath work sessions and/or meditation. Hope this helps 🙏
An absolutely gorgeous episode 😊
I'm there with you, guys! Thank you for letting me observe you lives.
Hey babe🌹 …. How have you been!?
Do you care for a nice chat and love to know each other🥰
We love Kevin … and I figured what/who Kevin is for Mark … he is a representative of all of us around the world that have been following you Mark since the beginning and wishing we could be your friend and support you in life because you are such a pure and gentle soul and deserve to be loved by friends … and hopefully soon by a new boyfriend … trust me … well not me just trust … trust the universe … I’m sure it will work something up for you to be completely happy cause you deserve it! ❤
Mark today's video was very vulnerable for you. Its good to see it...Virtual Hugs to you:)
What Kevin said resonate with me. Whenever I had butterflies in stomach feeling, i wasn't myself in the relationship and it all failed miserably.
Thanks again for allowing us to see this! You have always been there for me as well when I have needed it. With all the steps you have taken and shown us, thanks for being there. But don’t forget to look after yourself!
I have been watching you since most probably the first videos. Life has so many twists and turns… now, reflecting back on your journey. I also just went through mine. Yes, your early years were inviting us very closely into your personal life… but it helped! It gave us (especially us who were in the closet) showing us that things will get better. And yes, I never thought it was always great (relationships-wise) but I can just wish to meet someone like you… and you prove that I should rather wait, because people like you do exist! So thank you !! 😊😊😊😊 Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be you… stay true! Your growth, spiritually, emotionally and mentally is inspiring!
I can empathize pretty hard with deciding in advance whether or not someone is going to like you, but the best way around it is to understand that you're not in a position to decide that for them - it has to be something they decide themselves, and you have to give them that chance. It's scary because if you suspect they wont like you and they end up not liking you, it can be pretty damaging but dealing with that is the only way to build confidence in yourself rather than playing it safe and subconsciously clinging to the hope that you might've been wrong.
This was beautiful, honest and sensitive. Thanks to you both for sharing. Stay strong Mark. Keep growing ❤❤
I feel like this endeavor will be quite therapeutic and introspective. You and Kevin play well off each other. there's just enough of a hint of differences in perspectives and lived lessons that its not jarring when they dont align, because both parties are willing to listen, reflect and understand each other. Its a new year. Here for the journey.
I never heard of Kevin before, but I love this dynamic. Keep this format!
“I don’t believe in instance love”. I really resonate with that statement. I am such a hopeless romantic, too, and it took me much of my early 20s to realize that sparks don’t need to fly in order to give me a chance. I think you speak for all of us - gay, straight, LGBTQIA, etc. - and I found a lot of what you both said very valuable. Thank you guys! Keep doing you! These are amazing!
I loved this video, so raw and honest. I feel this is what we are all thinking or feeling and need to let it out. Thank you for sharing.
I completely identify with the dating part and the Virgo part. It is seriously so hard and I do the exact same thing...push people away or friend zone them. Even just avoiding talking to anyone outside of work at all. I have my routine and nothing else really outside of it. I literally have so much anxiety over it and I try to tell myself that I am a work in progress and not to stress it because you will know when it's the right person as they say...but how do you know? How will I know if I never even try to put myself out there. It's been for different reasons over the years but it's something that I desperately have to work on this year more than ever. Thank you so much for sharing this. It's really nice to know that I am not the only person who does this. You are really the best. Also, this was a great conversation in general and Kevin is awesome! Love ya!😀💞
Going through a good ol cry is always therapeutic to me, and it’s ironic how sometimes you’re aware of it coming up but you just try to delay it cuz it’s not the right time rn. But eventually it always catches up with you and you gotta go through it whether you like it or not 💁🏼♂️
I like this format. I enjoy the conversational setting. It makes me want to grab a coffee and sit back and relax as I listen to the back-and-forth. This could be the start of something really big.
I didn’t want this video to end
I could listen to an hour of you guys just chatting! Haha
I think it’s interesting - the idea of instant love. I think it’s 100% possible that the person that’s meant for you will be all fireworks and sparks when you first meet them. I think it’s a great indicator that things align at that point in time, but yall also mentioned that love takes work, and is a daily choice. Once the sparks fade (and that’s guaranteed) it’s a conscious choice to keep going and maybe ignite that spark in different ways. Love’s a really fun and frustrating jigsaw puzzle that way. Needless to say this video was very enjoyable - really felt the genuine chemistry here!
That depends though if it's a narcissist or not, because when you meet a narcissists you think you have met your soulmate. The cycle of narcissistic relationships alternates between idealization and devaluation. Neither idealization nor devaluation are about the other person at all. They include no realistic understanding of the other person in any way. They are about the narcissist affected and even delusional way of seeing other people and themselves. The manipulations employed by narcissists generally involve the ego of other people and they consist of ego feeding, ego starving and ego shaming.
Narcissists are a fairy tale. not just in the sense of how amazing it appears to be before you know better although that's definitely part of it. Like in a lot of fairy tales thy often have a dark side. In many fairy tales there is the appearance of safety or something pleasant that actually turns out to be something scary or dangerous. In Little Red Riding Hood the wolf masquerades as the grandmother whom he ate. In Snow White the Evil Queen's stepmother wants to consume Snow White B's heart so that she can become immortal so she masquerades as a
harmless old woman offering an apple that turns out to be poisoned. In Hansel and gredle the witch has a candy house that lurs in children so that she can eat them. This is the relationship with a narcissist.
Just like in fairy tales the initial experience presented is an illusion and also just as it is in fairy tales it's only once it's too late to turn back and people feel like they're trapped in some way, that they're able to see how things really are. They are able to see how they were misled, how the illusion was constructed and carried off. It is only when people can see the reality that they can see how much of an illusion it really was. W
When you're in a relationship that operates so much in the realm of fantasy with so much gaslighting, so much unreality it can be difficult to understand what's really going on, who this person really or are they what they seem or what they say or what they show, if they are some other entirely different thing from all of those things and what even is happening. Narcissists exist in the idealized part of the fairy tale all the time. The illusion is real to narcissists because they don't live in reality and so as long as somebody else is buying into it they can buy into it too. Things change for you and you start to see the narcissist and yourself differently as you start to see through the illusion, but it doesn't change for them in that way . They still see themselves the same, what they see
differently is you and only because you no longer live in their illusion with them.. now they are the innocent trusting
child who has been tricked and you are the wicked stepmother or the big bad wolf Who tricked them, probably because you're trying to harm or maybe even kill them somehow.
These are extreme personalities, they're locked in a literal death struggle with themselves and they don't even know it. They think other people are the ones in their way and e trying to hurt them. As soon as someone shows any doubt or resistance to The Narcissist fairy tale that other person becomes the villain in the story because only a bad guy would want to hurt other people and by doubting a narcissist illusion you have mortally wounded them. Anyone who has seen the way that narcissists react to having their Illusions doubted questioned or God forbid punctured with reality somehow can attest to that. To say they react extremely poorly to this is almost laughable understatement in so many situations. It's read as an attack on the only sense of self that they have and
they appear to take it as like a death threat of sorts. That is why these relationships are doomed from the
beginning unless you're going to live in their illusions with them and support these Illusions no matter how reality
contradicts the situation. It's not going to work out if you're not willing to agree and reiterate for example that your narcissistic husband is not an alcoholic even though he drinks until he passes out every single night for the last 10 years and cannot function without without alcohol.
If you can't wipe every single incident that contradicts this out of your memory or willing to agree and reiterate there's going to be a problem. It isn't enough for you to just not give a dissenting opinion, you have to enthusiastically endorse their fairy tale of themselves and of reality. You have to agree with it wholeheartedly and behave at all times as if that is reality. You have to agree that they are the best and the smartest and that they're always right and everybody else is the worst and stupid and always wrong, including yourself at all times and in all situations for all the reasons and also for no reason. If you're not willing to do that there's going to be a problem and the truth is even if you were willing to do that you'd still fail at it because you don't live in their illusion, therefore there are going to be times when you will inject actual reality into the situation(even if it's by accident) and then there's a problem. Usually a big one why because this is all they have and you're ruining it. Their real lives are a bitter disappointment to the majority of narcissists, even the ones who are successful never seem to be happy, nothing is ever good enough for them or satisfies them because they are empty holes that can never be filled. If they ever had the capacity for happiness it was likely lost a long time ago. The only way they can manage at all is by playing pretend. If you disrupt that you are bad and you don't want them to be happy, you're the bad guy.
Narcissists aren't the only ones enamored with this amazing fairy tale beginning or the good side of these
relationships either. It's very easy to become caught up in these fantasies and the other people involved are often just as caught up. The Illusions they offer are very attractive. Most Illusions are the main attraction of fantasies is
that they're not real. They are idealized versions of things and there's no better example of how this works than the
pathologically narcissistic personality. Narcissists offer an idealized fantasy version of the themselves and they
interact with and react to an idealized fantasy version of other people. Other people fall in love with the fantasy
version of The Narcissist and with how the narcissist sees and treats the fantasy version of themselves. The
problem is that since it's all an idealized fantasy it's not real and when the other person in the relationship
attempts to make it real by trying to move forward into an actual relationship with expectations of things such as
emotional intimacy it just falls apart. The relationship cannot sustain even basic attempts to make it real, even
basic expectations.
Many times people are upset with themselves once they're able to see through the illusion. In relationships with narcissist there are often moments where people become suspicious, have doubts or realize something is wrong. In Little Red Riding Hood she can see that something doesn't make sense about her grandmother. She doesn't necessarily know what it is but she can feel it. She can see it something's wrong. However the reality of the situation was not something that she ever could have anticipated or guessed and that too is like a relationship with a narcissist. People often beat themselves up for missing, dismissing or ignoring red flags in the beginning of the relationship. The truth isthough even if you acknowledge them and even if you had tried to address them how could anyone possibly know what these things ultimately mean. Many people do do just that, they do see the red flags, acknowledge them and they do try to address them, but they still don't have any idea what the red flag behaviors can mean until it's too late. Why would anybody think this is what the relationship is later going to turn into. Even people who have previously experienced abuse often cannot fathom how badly this can end up being. It's
just not something most people are able to foresee or to pick up, especially when we're talking about relationships. With caregivers and parents It's not even possible for people to question these relationships until they're no longer
children in the majority of situations and to truly understand what the relationship really is. Usually takes
much much longer.
There is one advantage we do have as adults though and in some ways it's the key to the whole thing. As adults we have power. The kids in the fairy tales go into the woods with the wood cutter who is supposed to kill them or they go with the stepmother who then leaves them there to die. In real life they get in the car with the stranger who says "oh your mother sent me to get you" and it's not always because because they're so trusting. In Hansel and
gredle they left a trail of breadcrumbs so they could find their way home specifically because they did not trust
the wicked stepmother. They go because they're kids and they feel like they have no choice. That is what makes
children such easy targets for Predators. Not only are they trusting they don't have the power that adults have. When an adult tells a child to do something they do it not just because they're trusting, maybe not even because of that at all in some cases, but because they don't feel like they have any choice. As adults we do have the power to choose and we need to use that so we can make that muscle as strong as possible. We can say no to things. We can choose not to do things. We can make up our own minds. This often doesn't sound like much to people but
coupled with the knowledge of narcissists and how bad things can get it makes all the difference in the world going
forward because that's all the power we really need.
Love the shots of LA. So cinematic.
Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller says...Life moves preety fast. If you dont stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.
This quote is very profound 👏👏👏
Its not easy, however aspire to live our fragile cherished and precious life on earth with manners, passion, gratitude, kindness, love, forgiveness, and patience.
Thank you for posting this chat. Sending hugs, smiles, comfort and serenity to everyone 😘🫂🙏🌈
I needed to hear all of these. Thanks guys
This was awesome. You two are great together and the discussion was spot on. Definitely down for more.
This talk was so good for me. I can identify with you (mark) and the way you feel trying to get into a new relationship. I can start each new relationship looking for the lie and I always find it - no surprise. After a 24 year marriage to my best friend to find out they cheated was devastating. How can I ever trust my judgment again. It’s so hard.
Another great MEM production! Kevin seems like such a cool guy. You must feature him more often.
Kevin is such a sweetie and a cutie. I want to see more content with him.
Thanks for this video, for being so real, and for encouraging all of us to be just like that: open, real, and vulnerable. It's worth it!
The can without a coaster on the table was giving me anxiety the entire time...
Mark is such a beautiful soul. Wow.
This is truly amazing. Kevin is a great partner with you on these conversations. Keep them going, please!
As I fellow Virgo... I feel you. I'm very good at the "work"-packing things into labeled boxes and then meticulously organizing those boxes... but NEVER dealing with the things in those boxes unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. Even then I'll probably schedule it when I'm completely alone because I'd rather not have a Feeling™ around other people. That last part likely has less to do with my Virgo and more to do with growing up being told by the adults in my life that I was "being dramatic" anytime I expressed even an ounce of emotion. 😂
I've learned that it's so completely patronizing to attempt to "manage" how someone else feels. It's a noble impulse to not want to hurt others-intentionally or otherwise-but it's unfair to not let them feel however they want to feel about something. Relationships are tricky that way.
I love this format and the conversational setting. I enjoy relaxing with a nice cup of coffee as I listen to the back-and-forth. Keep it going!
Definitely more of this; it was a fun conversation, great to meet Kevin (he's cute and very insightful too) and see you two just free-flow talking together. :)
Mark!! Good to see you again! I will look forward to this content 😊
Kevin is great! I hope to see the two of you again. I really enjoyed
Oh, Mark! You are precious!
I am learning this too, as a fellow Virgo; STOP BEING so HARD ON YOURSELF, please
Good guys. Good friends. Good talk. Appreciate both of your kind spirits.
So relatable ! Thank you
Very meaningful conversation indeed! Love both of you!❤❤❤
Great format and refreshing to see some real truth in this format. Thank you for always surprising us with your content.
Thanks for being so open about your experiences! This was great! 😊
He seems like a sweet guy. Mark: dont be tough on yourself!!!
Yessss have Kevin again!
Great chemistry....hope Kevin becomes a regular guest!
This was super interesting! Thank you Mark! Kevin has a good vibe and I just loved how the two of you can sit down, be totally laid back, and share what’s on your mind while supporting each other.
A response to the convo on 22:19 : approach dating with intention honestly, its a healthy approach to the cycle anyone might find themselves. Virgo, you're the fighter in the relationship, seek balance within and willingness to compromise. And remember, it's how we viewed our parents love at times is how we show up in our relationships. It's our duty to reparent ourselves to "find the one" with intentional dating n feel we "found the one".
It’s interesting and at the same time vulnerable of yourself because I’ve always seen you as this very confident person. However, you bring up a great point that we only see a portion of what you want to show the world. I’m in the process of self discovery and putting myself out there so I get it. You’ll find the right person! Best of luck.
Loved Kevin and would love to call him my friend. Kevin is very genuine like you are Mark. You sell yourself short a lot of times but stop that. You are a remarkably talented, good looking and smart man. Just believe that about yourself. You deserve someone as nice as you are and anyone would be lucky to call you friend or lover or husband. Sometimes you will meet someone that fits into all three categories. And you will know it when you are supposed to. Good luck. Still love your channel. You are one of my favorite You Tube creators. Just keep doing what you are doing and things will work out for you. ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊😊😊😊
Great conversation! Mark give yourself credit how much you have grown over the years.
"The things we think/feel the most unique/hidden are the most universal"...
"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile, and nothing can grow there. Too much, the best of us is washed away. My rains have come and gone for now."
- J. Michael Straczynski
I watch whatever you post. You just make gold, man. You've been making gold since you started this thing and I've learned A LOT from you over the years. Lots of people are rooting for you and look forward to these videos. ❤
Hey Mark! I totally agree with respect to the dating atmosphere. I feel like in post-COVID times it has become harder to connect and get close to one another. I've been using the excuse of a full time college schedule in avoiding meeting someone new atm and I am afraid what will be once I graduate. Even maintaining solid friendships have been somewhat of a challenge 😩... love these style of videos btw and LOTs of love from Redlands ❤
As a fellow Virgo, I can completely relate to scheduling a "cry", haha. Definitely something "we" keep to ourselves usually, goddess forbid we let someone in that part of our lives easily...
I really liked the 2 of you co-creating this content. Mark you e always been somewhat natural in front of the camera but I felt a sense of calm wash over you with Kevin sitting next to you. This felt like a therapy session but also just a deep convo between friends
9:11 that gaze, great x'D
Ok Mark I’m here and I’m all ears!!!!! Hello!❤
This is great and Kevin is awesome… looking forward for more videos like this!!!
I followed what seems like forever ago. I love your energy and always have. Your ability to express vulnerability is beautiful. It's okay to not share everything with your subscribers. As I've aged I've learned that 'some people fall in love with the people they're attracted to, and some people are attracted to the people they love'. I agree with Kevin that love is a choice. Give yourself and the people you meet enough time and grace to see who they are and for you to show them who you are. Time for love to blossom maybe... I know that sounds super cheesy. But... rejecting people after a 3-second view of a pic and a profile in a dating app completely removes any possibility of finding anything more.
Aw, Kevin's fantastic - easy on the eyes and the ears! He's welcome on my screen any time =)
Thank you for sharing cool concerns of life.😊
I can so relate to so much of the things you said about dating, overthinking, being a romantic and a Virgo.
Kevin's a doll
I like how you own your issues with having your relationship so public, and the hard truth is, life is damn hard and letting your gaurd down, and letting pain in, learning how to work with pain, how to make it maluble and get tougher over time, we get lonely, bored, and over think everything, and social media is not realilty, all these feelings are normal, and you will know when you meet the person cause the chat will be their, the fun will be their, but also take it slow, no rush man, your doing well, know that your a good person and your doing your best ;)
I really liked this format, Mark. A podcast like this with Kevin would def have me viewing. I’ve been watching for years and additional content type from you can only be good.
Both of you are awesome!