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I've been married to a Chinese lady for 45 years. Nearly all of these same cultural practices apply to Chinese as well. However, my wife refuses to freeze any food or buy frozen food. Shops every day. Clothes dryer, dish washer - never been used. Oven - never been used for cooking. Ovens are for storing bananas.
We live in a near older near CBD suburb. Wifey doesn't drive at all. She walks. Fortunately supermarkets and shopping malls are walking distance - less than 1 Km (half a mile). Asian food shops are close by. She doesn't know how to cook Western food and I never bothered to show her how. She cooks Nyonya food (for those who know). She enjoys western food but we need to eat out for her to eat it. She's ethnic Chinese from another Asian country - I met her there - I worked there for 10 years. We speak a melange of her language and English.
Speaking as an African American from Texas, I grew up taking baths at night before bed. The logic behind why we take baths at night are exactly the same as what you explained in the video. The bed is for clean bodies and clothes. But anyway, I am a huge fan of your content! You have an unique production style to your videos! I love them and I can’t wait to watch your next one! 💙💙
from a northern state, I'd definitely take a shower if it was a hot day and I had been outside and sweating... but on most days it feels like (or I was raised to believe) I'm clean enough, because we've never been hot and sweaty. obviously it's still less clean than a shower or bath before bed, but it seems like it's good enough. plus I just prefer to shower in the morning, it wakes you up and helps you look your best before you go out for the day
I'm white,southern, and my mom had us take a bath at night. I've taught my biracial kids bath at night and shower in the morning. Louisiana is either muggy or hot. I like the sheets to stay clean alittle while. Secondly I have always fixed a dish after someone spoons some out. It redistribute the heat in the food.
When I worked in Hokkaido as a JET the other JETS who had been there awhile gave us a orientation guide to help navigate the culture. Food, driving, shopping, dealing with your Japanese boss, lots of useful information. There was a section on dating. The part for foreign women wanting to date Japanese men was several pages long detailing how not to scare them off and act "cute". Bits on how to talk, how to dress, how to drink, what to expect if you got him back to your place, etc, etc. The part for foreign men wanting to date a Japanese woman I will quote here in it's entirety: "Go into a bar. Sit down. Wait for them to come."
Former Akkeshi JET in East Hokkaido. Do not go near the Gaijin Hunters. I had plenty come on to me over there, and like the old saying goes “Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth”… I did, and am I glad I did
The shower and bath one has been a frequent battle in the household for last couple of years. Paola, I genuinely had no idea it was a specifically Japanese thing, I just thought my wife was nuts about it. Thank you!
No, that's literally the thing that always irritates me about most American bathrooms. The shower in the bathtub is just nasty and after showering outside the tub and literally only going into the bathtub after, you genuinely realize how much cleaner you are. If I were to do that in America, I'd be cleaning that bathrub every week but in Japan, I've literally gone months forgetting too not noticing a difference at all. It's certainly inspired me to clean before bed granted I still don't agree with shampoo on a daily.
@@grizzlyaddams3606 read my comment above, these woman are born to play games with their spouses as its in their culture …she does mind dude but she will probably spill it all out like a organised list she kept in her little dark mental diary three years later when they get into a deeper argument for example…. She will also do it in a very cowardly way most likely a text message, as they avoid confrontation like vampires the sun and if he is as lucky as my good Aussie friend she will disappear with his three kids and never let him see them again as a punishment for speaking to her that way for all those years… then he will be lucky if he can keep living in Japan because he is on a spouse visa and spend every last ¥ on child support and a reasonably good lawyer who will be powerless to even get him visitation rights as the Japanese don’t follow up on the Hague treaty rules they signed I think as late as 2014 and they wont give a fuck about his gaijin ass…I speak from experience… 17 yrs in Japan and over 10 Japanese GF in Australia and two failed marriages. They are very good at making you feel like they are fine with you gaijin big mouth … Japanese men know this and must keep quiet as they see and grow up with these awkward mentally taxing on men wonderful parts of Japanese culture… PURE Brutal Truth ! Happens very often there !!!
The Hells Angels, the Comanchero motorcycle club and the Aussie Cartel heads are having talks while you are reading this about their growth in Australia and in Asia. Exterminating The Yakusa presence and their activities in the country would be considerably profitable for the Hells Angels, the Comanchero motorcycle club and the Aussie Cartel. The goal is to initiate their expansion over the Yakusa in Australia and to push it as far as in Japan. According to their plans, they are and will be supported by the Sinaloa Cartel for a part of the gains obtained and it would be done by the end of 2023. They told their mens to prioritize the capture, mostly for torture and interrogation before killing and for selling but to kill right away if they can not capture. This is what members having close ties with Hells Angels chapter leaders are talking about. Some members of the Hells Angels and of the Sinaloa Cartel had already start moving to Australia. The mens had been told to get the job done by any means, even by mass killing if needed. If you are directly involved let your comrades know so you can be prepared for what is happening before it is too late to prevent the bloodbath and your fall!!
As an Aussie, I totally agree with the drying clothes outside ethos. The clothes dryer is reserved for the towels and those days where it's just too rainy. Otherwise, they're out on the Hills Hoist in the sun. We were actually told about the antibacterial qualities of sunlight during antenatal classes and the fact the sun can help reduce stains.
@@gloriinher40s yeah dude any dark clothing of mine would start to turn orange, it was kind of wild, plus I can’t count how many spiders we found on out hang dryer hahahaha
I've watched a lot of vlogs over the years by foreigners living in Japan. While I don't gravitate towards them anymore, I always spare time for your videos. I love the natural and positive vibes you bring. It's like we're really there, getting a sense of what life is like for you and everyone else. Well done. ^.^
I really like hanging my clothes out to dry, but I live near Chicago and with the winter weather I do resort to using the dryer. However I have an electric dryer and a really trick filtering setup that vents the hot moist air into the house, it really makes the house so nice having that scent and extra moisture during the brutal cold snaps.
Paolo is spot on with all the points he brought up in this video. My wife is Japanese and has called me on several of these issues, even though we've lived in the U.S. for 20 years!
After 20 years of relationship and 15 years of marriage, I can easily say that the number one source of misunderstandings and arguments is the direct (western) vs indirect (asian) communication style. Period.
Women are already indirect , add being Asian on top of that and it’s a struggle (coming from someone who’s dated a Filipina) I could never tell wtf she wanted😂
The only one I would militantly stand my ground on is the AC. I absolutely cannot sleep while hot. It is a miserable experience, and as it is I tend to be a hot sleeper even with AC. The rest of it struck me as things I could learn to live with, and none of them struck me as hills worth dying on.
Currently having these talks with my Japanese partner haha Sitting to pee was annoying but I understand it. Like you, I have not relented on the AC issue. Im double her size and simply can't handle sleeping hot.
The can't use AC during the night is stupid during summers because there is a technique used to reduce your A/C bills during hot summer days. Set your AC's automatic settings to during the night (right when you go to sleep) to lower the whole house anywhere from 62-65°F (16-18°C) and then shut off completely at sunrise have the AC shut off completely. The whole house will be super chilled and will naturally be warmed slower by the weather. You'll wont' get above 75°F (23°C) during the peak of the day where the outside weather is the hottest. The nice thing about this is your electric bill is lower during the evening because of less stress on the grid than during the day and will save you lots of money rather than having to have your AC run during the day. This works both well in the US and is extremely helpful in Japan during the hot summers. It's economical. You will be sacrificing some comfort during your sleep, but the body will eventually adjust to anything. I say saving money is better than a little discomfort. I understand the culture thing. But it's better than being uncomfortable during the day due to not running AC at all unless needed or having it run during the day instead which causes a big spike in the electric bill.
I lived in Japan for over 15 years and were married for probably 10 of them before moving to the US, and we ran into some of the same issues. We never ran into the AC problem. But probably because we lived in Aomori-ken, so running A/C was not really an issue. Flat/fluffy rice... yes ran into this issue, but not enough to divorce. I still leave it flat, and she will make it fluffy after she takes her portion. But she doesn't get mad about it. Bath before sleep...yes had to deal with this one. However, she ALWAYS insisted I take a bath/shower first. So not really an issue. Frozen meat in the freezer...yes. Ran across this issue many times. I still keep frozen meats longer than 2 weeks. But most of the time we eat most of our meats before we get to the 2 week time frame. So again, not too much of an issue. When in Japan we always hung our clothes. When me moved to Hawaii I introduced her to the clothes dryer. At first she would still hang our clothes but then she saw she could get all the laundry done within a couple hours and no clothes left to hang-dry. She adapted just fine to a dryer because its way faster than an overnight hang. Getting the bowls right... I still mess them up. But as Maiko does, my wife doesn't get angry anymore as she knows I am far from perfect. If we go to her mom's house though, I better get it right or I will hear about it. As you say, its all about compromise. I have been compromising with my Japanese wife for over 25 years, and I'm hoping to continue well into the future. Take care... and forgive each other to stay together.
American wife with Japanese husband here! He and his family have taught me all of these over the years and are very particular about them! They make sense to me though so I have accommodated pretty much all of these; we run a very Japanese household (and raise our kids in a more Japanese way) even though we live in the US :)
The AC issue is a big deal for me but I live in Texas. I am willing to tolerate as high as 74 degrees Fahrenheit but it needs to be augmented by desk or floor fans.
Hey Paolo! I'm a 70 year old American. Never been to Japan and most of these make perfect sense to me. Particularly taking a shower(or bath) before going to bed. I was raised to always shower before going to bed. My parents made me. I raised my children (4)to do the same. Until I watched your older video that explained that I didn't know anybody would go to bed without bathing.
Hey Mike Happy new year in late Sorry nobody wished you in the comments Now you might be around 72yo so I want to tell you Keep living your best life at this age I'm 13yo
My ex who was Spanish also changed to house clothes. I thought it was crazy, but I adopted to it over time. It really makes you feel "at home" vs work in your mind, so you just relax and enjoy home that much more. Great brain hack.
So we have a similar situation in the Czech Republic. We also shower in the evening to go to bed clean. After arriving at the house, we take off our shoes and change into comfortable home clothes. And in our family, we also sleep with an open window even in winter. Unless it's extremely cold or stormy. And so we prefer to dry our clothes in the fresh air. It saves a lot of energy.
How about mosquitoes? In my country, if I open the window even for like 10 minutes only, mosquitoes would all rush in like a starved little vampires. I need to choose between can't sleep because of heat or can't sleep because of mosquito bites.
About the bathtub: I had an aunt marry a Japanese man and moved there. One thing she shared about bath customs was that Japanese people tend to shower using the shower outside of the tub, but a tub of water is drawn anyway to just soak in after washing their bodies, which explains the cleaning needed before using it. She also mentioned that the whole family would take turns soaking based on seniority, so by the time it was her turn, the water was already cold lol
These days the baths are very automated. They will fill themselves to the perfect level and temperature and sound a chime when done. They will also maintain the temperature and water level. Of course in older baths, cold water would definitely be an issue.
Kellie is right about how the Japanese take a shower and bath. One thing I did not like, and I still do not like, is how they take baths in Japan. I learned in Japan that they use the same hot water in the tub for everyone in the family. Naturally, water gets dirty one person after another, even though they washed their body outside the tub. I took the bathtub first. If not, I drained it and refilled brand new hot clean water. After years of marriage, my Japanese husband liked my way.
@@rsac43 Dang, those exist? I live in the USA and all the average priced homes have normal baths that you just fill and adjust the temperature with a knob or handle.
@@dorist7280 Japanese people know that if you change the water in the bathtub one by one, it will be clean. However, for two people, the water and gas charges are double. Four times if you have two children. The Japanese do not waste resources.
The classic air conditioner war. Never gets old lol. Just became a member and I have been watching your content since last year! Been watching your food videos and to-do's in Japan cuz I am planning to visit there once they open the borders! Keep it up kuya paolo!
I once shared a hotel room with a girl from Vegas for a week. Turns out that a Canadian and a desert dweller have VERY different opinions about comfortable sleeping temperatures.😆
I can relate with the cleaning part here in Brazil, specially after the whole pandemic thing we had recently. One behaviour we acquired is to change our clothes and take a shower before entering our house when we arrive from anything we had to do outside our property (we have an extra external bathroom in our back porch) like going to the movies, buying groceries, visiting someone and so on.
Married to an Asian woman, I’ve retrained my brain to respond “of course, you’re right” to my wife concealing my eye roll. This was not an easy skill to master.
I have to take a shower in the morning -- otherwise, I have crazy bed hair all day. (I take a bonus shower in the evening if I've been sweating alot -- but, for my hair, the morning shower is a requirement.)
Wow! This is looking good for me! I am single. I have rules for myself in order to enjoy more cleanliness and time effectivenes. I hate the idea of sleeping in a dirty bed. If you keep the bed clean, you wake up clean! What's so hard to understand? Sitting on the bed, before I swing my feet up, I even brush them off against each other. When you use the toilet, just like embers shoot off from a camp fire, droplets of water/urine shoot out of the toilet when you piss from a standing position. It doesn't matter how careful you are, even if you miss nothing! Urine water will still become excessive around the rim, on the floor, or your clothes. You can keep things cleaner if you sit on the seat of the toilet, there is less force at that shorter distance. Besides, if you're going to relieve your bladder, why not relieve your feet and legs, your mind, and eyes (if you just woke up, you can keep them closed; or let them wander as you pontificate upon your posterior)?
I'm an American, but I don't have an Asian wife. Regarding the rice fluffing, I learned from my Mom, who was Italian, that you ALWAYS fluff the rice once it's cooked, and the best way to do it is with a wooden fork, NOT a metal one, with wide tines to evenly fluff the rice. And I tell you, it works like a charm. Try it on your wife and see how she likes it.
In the Philippines (Paolo’s mom and dad are from the Philippines) we don’t fluff our rice. It’s more on the Tropical weather here and the more you fluff or spoon the cooked rice, the humidity here spoils the rice very quickly. So it’s a rule once the rice is cooked, don’t touch it until you’re about to eat. Don’t even open the lid to see it cooking.
Wow.. my wife is Hong Kong Chinese and this list is exactly the points in our 20+ year marriage deals with. I am American living in Australia with her and these are the things that have created conflict in our marriage, or I should say could have created conflict as we have sorted these things out. Since living in rural Queensland where we shop only when we go to town the fresh food situation has been one where she had to learn that we buy in larger quantities and keep in storage. It took a bit of time for her to change from where she once lived and everything you want is just outside your door in a large cosmopolitan city to being a farm girl.. well almost a farm girl. Compromise is the key.
I think there's an additional key I was once told that compromise was defined as 2 parties losing equally This seems fair in small amounts ...but I can't help but suspect that if both parties each lose too much...then both would be equally miserable ...which would be horrible for any relationship I think...though compromise is vital...it should coupled with acceptance (like, actual open-hearted acceptance, not bitter tolerance) Both measures have their limits...but I think having 2 options would but less strain on a relationship. 😊 (I'm just speaking theoretically and not judging...you've been married for 20+ years and I'm still single...so very obviously, you know what works 😅)
I agree with bathing before bed and also removing “ outside clothes “ I do this I don’t want the pants I used to maybe sit down outside on my bedding I also see how this can be annoying for certain people but it’s a habit for me I agree with cleaning with the bathtub after each person ! I cannot believe you have to throw away meat like that ! The meat can stay well for a very very long time
Precisely. Even pre-covid I always made it a point to change out of my outside clothes and sometimes even go the extra mile to wash some of them the same day. Now that I think on it, all of my family does as well. I will never understand people who actually wear their jeans AND shoes on their bed. Psychopathic behavior, lol
@@twinklefire7241 Fun Fact: The sun's UV rays actually destroy bacteria, fungi, and algae from surfaces in 30 minutes. So those benches aren't as dirty as you think (even cleaner if it's rained recently beforehand).
Hi Paolo, thanks for the interesting video. I’m Indonesian and totally agree about the fluffy rice. I also hate it when kids are too lazy to fluff the rice when happen to be the first one taking it from the rice cooker. One reason to fluff the rice is becoz usually the top part is drier while the bottom part is more moist, so fluff the rice when it is still hot even out the softness, and eventually, makes it taste better.
I’m half Indonesian/Australian. I grew up with my Australian parent and learned to fluff rice as a teenager from my host mother while on a school exchange in Japan. I can confirm that most Balinese people that I know do not fluff rice. They get annoyed and ask me why I’m bothering to fiddle around with the rice cooker, just eat it or move out of the way😅 Like, “ngapain aduk2 nasinya gitu, ambil makan dah!”
Agreed on fluffing the rice. Also, just to clarify, you don't necessarily fluff the rice every time. You fluff the rice when rice is just cooked and scoop the bottom rice to the top. When you take a portion of rice and the bottom of the rice cooker is exposed though, you want to redistribute the rice to cover that exposed area. This is because with some models of rice cookers, that exposed area will introduce more heat in the rice cooker and dries the top layer of rice quicker.
Oh I never thought of the top of the cooked rice being drier than the rest. This will definitely be a new habit for me. Thank you for the explanation :)
“Like my man Biggie once said…if you don’t know, now you know.” I busted out laughing after that. Great content as always and thanks for sharing all things Japan. Hope to travel there one day for about a week.
The more I learn about Japanese culture, the more similar to my native Scandinavian culture I find it. It's kinda wild that going halfway around the globe, across cultures that increasingly becomes different from my own, and then suddenly, it becomes similar again.
It's quite similar cause for the longest time, both regions have been quite isolated from the world. While Scandinavia wasn't "as" isolated as Japan, it was still not that easy to travel to it until commercialized flights became cheap. Scandinavia has also been quite "off the beaten path", the vast majority of at least Swedish history has been population booms followed by a good chunk migrating to other places (The Danes had their period of migration to England and northern France, creating Normandy). Funny enough, at least the tribes of Sweden had some basic contact with Rome at one point where they traded animal pelts with the romans. Caesar might have written something about that in his commentarii, I remember he was quite fascinated by moose.
@@SvengelskaBlondie "Scandinavia was still not that easy to travel to it until commercialized flights became cheap"? What the fuck are you talking about? The world doesn't revolve around America weirdo. Also most of the similarities are similar to Germany as well. Like seriously, what the fuck has commercialized flights to do with living in isolation. Where is your brain?
@@SvengelskaBlondie Similarly, Japan had contact with China, so it wasn't completely isolated either. Both Japan and Scandinavia learned from bigger civilizations, eventually surpassing those civilizations in the modern age (Japan is now more developed than China while Scandinavia is now more developed than Italy).
Simply because some things just make sense. Except for cleaning the bath BEFORE you get in. I clean it after I am done, so it is clean for the next use.
This. I'm technically "American" but my family is from the Upper Midwest which as you know, tends to be "Scandinavian" in culture because that's where many Scandinavians migrated to and brought their culture with them, where I live right now in the Southwest US is more a 50/50 mix of Hispanic culture/Typical American culture, and I've always felt like I related to Japanese people more than my American friends, its why I've grown so interested in the country, of course there's still a culture gap, there always will be, but tbh with you I've never felt at home in my own country, so I'm willing to assimilate anywhere, also there are certain things in life that I think transcend cultures you know? Things where we realize we're all one and more similar than we think. The language of Music/Art is a beautifully sacred example of this, so is love, makes sense because love dates back to the beginning of life itself after all :)
I think drying clothes outside makes sense in the dry season but so impractical when it's humid or rainy. And the amount of planning you need to do to make sure your outfits are dry when you need them etc. We struggled with this when we visited the UK, makes even less sense over there because it rains all the dang time! I love my dryer!
@jernejj5 idk about that lol a lot of eu appliances are too small in general. I want that american power and speed, ill pay the extra energy cost gladly lmao
Bruv I understand showering before going to bed and in the morning but no AC during summer and no heating during winter. It's my second year in Canada, that won't cut it. I'll freeze to death. Put your foot down.
Thank you for explaining all these. Everyone of these topics my Japanese wife has asked me to do, as I did not personally care I just did it the way she wanted. It is nice to know it is a cultural thing. My wife loves the dryer, but many types of cloths shrink, so we use the dryer and air dry.
So many things are true here for my Vietnamese wife. The sitting down to pee felt overbearing at first but after realizing that as much as I tried, I couldn't avoid all the splashing, I had to give in. It was either that or wipe the toilet down each time I used it. One thing I didn't realize would be so impactful was the lack of a shared pop culture we have with her growing up in Vietnam. It affects comedic movies primarily, which I love, and so many of the jokes go right over her head.
As a very much white and Western person (italian living in europe) I'm honestly quite shocked at the amount of people in this comment section that think that peeing while standing in your own home is normal, like, in Italy it's a thing reserved for particularly nasty public bathrooms. Is this just an American thing?
Yes, I experienced the same pop culture differences with my former Japanese wife. She never really laughed at most comedies, but found things extremely funny in Japanese movies or videos that might just be something repeated several times. We had little in common in this regard.
@@dDoodle788 West European now living in East Europe and I've never heard of that. Every guy I know pees standing up. Sitting down is for when you need to do a number 2. Or if you have some kind of physical problem preventing you from standing. I guess what must also matter a lot is the toilet size and shape, and how tall you are yourself.
OMG, I was floored about the frozen meat being thrown out. To each their own, but that would never work for me because I stock up on meat when it is on sale or clearance and we eat it for months after its bought.
I re-wrap and or re-portion before long term freezing, short term (1-2 weeks) usually not a problem. I do it because I remember my mom used to freeze packages, straight from the market, and they'd freezer burn. But two weeks is a bit extreme, kind of like throwing out expired shelf food on the sell by date.
This is super accurate Paolo! When you go to Japanese restaurant in the US and the rice is packed right or scooped with an ice cream scoop, you know it’s not authentic because we love it fluffed! Make a part 2! I’m sure there’s more!
Most of the Japanese restaurants in the US are run by Koreans. LOL. Korean people don't fluff the rice in general (only a few households do it) That's why.
I would suspect that the freezer deadline is because of space of Japanese living quarters. You can't have a huge chest freezer anywhere to store half a cow. Plus, as he said, the culture of eating as fresh as possible. Though honestly, I would cry if my partner would throw out meat after 2 weeks. It's so darn expensive.
yeah, if there's to much meat, it always goes into the freezer. its not like freezing veggies you are eating raw. i cant taste the difference from a frozen steak to a fresh steak
My Japanese wife and I lived in Japan for several years before moving to the US, and the things she loves about the US that we didn’t have in Japan: garbage disposals, dishwashers, dryers, indoor insulated garage, central air, trash pickup at your house, school bus pickup/drop off at your house K to 12. Granted, you can probably get most of these things in Japan now if you don’t mind paying for them, but I think they’re still uncommon.
As an American Asian, I married a first gen Vietnamese gal and a lot of these also applies. The fluffing the rice thing...totally been there. I've since converted. I do think it does tastes better if for no other reason than because the fluffing evens out the texture differences between the lower and upper layers. The showering before bed...that didn't take much convincing because in hindsight, I wonder why I didn't do it to begin with! Showering before bed to avoid getting the bed contaminated with your day makes total sense. The frozen meat thing...I hadn't heard of before. I like to cut my own steaks and do quite a bit of vaccum sealing. She hadn't complained about the taste of the old frozen meats before. The wife does sun dry a few things...like bedsheets and blankets, but otherwise, she's content to use the dryer. As for the bowls, I did get some of that. I love eating a lot of rice so I typically use larger bowls. I've since reduce my rice intake due to doctor's orders and I now use the smaller rice bowls. I guess I already knew about the bowls, I just didn't adhere to their "intended" use. Lastly, yeah...my wife is rather forgiving. She tells me moreso to make sure I don't come off as impolite when we visit her parents than as a household rule. For some reason, because I'm Asian, I'm not given the same pass as white person would when it comes to etiquette with her parents. As with any relationship, if there's consideration, thoughfulness, and seeking to understand...then it's less likely these small things will become an issue. No relationship is perfect and fights are bound to occur (even amongst folks from similar cultural background), but it's how come to an agreement is what's important. Many agreements are talked about, and some are just tacitly understood. I guess the hardest part of being married was to let go of my ego for certain (many) things. I guess that's how I knew I found someone great; I didn't feel like a fool for letting go of that ego.
The rice fluffing is a must for my wife. Everything else she is pretty cool with. But as we live in Australia, I think that's why she puts up more than I probably realise. I think if we lived in Japan, it might be a bit of a different story. Interesting video though Paolo, thanks for sharing.
i am a malaysian, where my country is hot and humid all year round.shower twice, early morning and just before night falls..usually with cold tap water..it doesn't matter if the weather's sunny or if it was a monsoon season..
Maiko-san, can you do a similar presentation; but from the perspective of what compromises Japanese spouses make for their foreign-born/raised partners? 🤔
@Retsu Takahashi - That would be interesting to see in a way. But also I'm sometimes wonder if people didn't (or haven't) live with each other before they got married, as some of the simple problems could have been solved at that stage. So it is reading about other culture (sometimes necessary if your partner is from a different one), and simply talking and asking questions. Way before the marriage, or even way before even talking about the marraige. As in this case "Why Japanese Wives Hate Foreign Husbands" may as well be "Why Japanese Husbands Hate Foreign Wifes"... My point is, that people should talk to each other more, be honest, and also read more in some cases (different cultures) - before going for the marriage and then discover all of that way too late in some cases.
Hearing about the clothes dryer made me laugh. The people who lived in the house we bought were an elderly couple, and the wife also didn't believe in drying clothes in the clothes dryer because of the expense. Why do that when you can hang the on the line outside for free? The family told us she used her clothes dryer to store her Tupperware in!
@@naturalLin People couldn't afford soap any detergents kills bacteria. I suppose if you just wash clothes with water then dry them but how would you remove the dirt. I guess you could use just fly ash and water pretty harsh though. Of course now in China fewer people have money due to the collapse in the economy due the housing bubble, so I can see it.
@@southcoastinventors6583 people used to use rocks or washboards to clean by the river or a bucket of water. This is really old school but they use wood sticks to beat the clothes.
I've always been someone who showers at night for the specific reason of wanting to feel clean before going to bed. For me I wash away "the stress of the day" and feel more relaxed afterwards. Depending on the season a cold shower in the summer or a warm one in the winter can help put you to sleep as you'll feel more comfortable with your body temp.
I'm American married to a Dutch woman. I'm surprised at how many cultural differences we've experienced. It's been a "thrill ride" for sure. You're very correct - compromise is the key to happiness in marriage. Loved the video - Thank You!
@@mth469 In general? Tall. ha (They are the tallest people on average.) They are very direct, and independent. I found it very refreshing, when I didn't find it frustrating. lol All in all, the cultural similarities lull you in, and the differences surprise you. I wouldn't trade the experience.
Great video. We're a Filipino couple but some of these apply to us as well. No shower = no bed. No shoes past the doorway, we use house slippers and have spares for guests. We also peel off street clothes as soon as we get home. Fluffy rice for sure. The sit-down #1 thing is new but makes sense. I may start doing that. I might get points for it :))
Well some Philippines are mixed with Japan and on top of that you’re from Asia even know a lot of Philippines Consider them selves which pretty much they are Hispanic lol mix with other things ethnicity
@@daviddicks35 (sigh) Please learn to write cohesively. Rice is the staple crop of most of Asia, and removal of outdoor wear prior to entry into the home is common across cultures. It doesn't always have to be something introduced. Furthermore, Filipinos are not Hispanic. Hardly any Hispanic person regards them as such. I would know. I'm Hispanic. They are Asian. Plain and simple. People like you exaggerate the mixed nature of the Philippines, pointing out every single foreign influence on Philippine society, and then completely ignoring the culture that is already indigenous to the country. It's incredibly reductive of a very complex and rich cultural identity. The Philippines has a very rich culture if you look at it holistically and not just "haha, there's Spanish here, American here, Japanese here."
Interesting. I'm in the US, not Japanese and don't have any plans either to marry or move to Japan. But this kind of information gives you a lot of insight into the culture, which I enjoy learning about.
Making rice fluffy, leaving shoes out, and bathing before going to bed at all basic rules to follow in Brazil too. As for dryer machines, I've never seen anyone have one but I'm pretty sure it's because most people can't afford it... or don't really need it. everything dries quickly from spring to autumn unless it rains or you live in a cold town
To be honest, drying machines not really worth it to begin with. Because it will dry for free and natural drying actually gives an amazing smell to the things, especially if it's done outdoors. Also people should have enough clothes at home to not need the freshly washed ones instantly, or should not wait until they run out of clean clothes. And here in europe if you have a drying machine then people will think that you're got americanized (and never in positive way).
@@tovarishchfeixiao A drying machine dries way faster than the air, it's a no contest. These people are just stuck in the past and refuse to modernise. Japan is incredibly stubborn in changing its old ways.
I can definitely relate to a lot of this, having been adopted (@ birth) by an American father and Japanese mother. Growing up on a farm/ranch in Wyoming, my mom was in a perpetual battle to keep things clean, but there was only so much she could do. Nighttime baths were definitely a thing, but I think that was more common in American culture back in the day, especially in rural areas. Hanging clothes outside (also more common in America historically) was a no-brainer in the hot, dry and windy Wyoming summers, but she’d use the dryer in the winter. Specific bowls weren’t an issue, as we only ate Asian dishes a quarter of the time. I would be curious to see a comparison of these norms between older and newer Japanese. When my mother (1932-2019) came back from her father’s funeral in 1989, she said she barely recognized the younger generations of Japanese, and thought that they were as lazy and degenerate as us Americans. Accounting for the natural prejudices older people have for younger ones, it would still make for an interesting comparison.
Old japanese people are just as hypocrites like any older generación looking the younger ones, they Will always Bitter about their own life so they have to paint some of the awful bs they lived like it was better than now, "degenerates" says the culture of sexualizing childs and most of those degenerates are not young, are old/tradicional people that make the most disgusting things You could imagine while mantaining a facade of seriousness, discipline and prestige
American culture of hanging clothes outside? yeah bullshit, you will never see a modern clothes line in a house in USA they are heavily reliant on electricity and clothes dryers, my parents friends from Arizona still use a dryer in summer to dry clothes! it's crazy.
I'm a Taiwanese and 25% mixed with Japanese. I have no problems with my foreign husband except number 4. It did bug me when he uses the bed without taking a shower. The bed sheet will become stinky 🤣 and I hated it especially when I just changed the sheet, but when he's sick I let him do whatever he wanted with the bed, I'd change the bed sheet often. 😁 My husband is for me to love and treasure, I want him to enjoy a good time with me. We seldom argue or conflict.
About frozen food. A lot depends on the freezing temperature. At home we have 2 freezers even. One is -18°C, the other -25°C. Technically they are both 4 stars, but we use the -25°C one for long term freezing. -18°C is the bare minimum. Anyway, ** freezers exist, in that case, about 15 days is the recommented amount of time. IDK about Japan, but if the most common type there is **, it makes a lot of sense to throw aways food after 15 days. Well, no, I mean consume it before that, throwing food away is always bad. :) But if you happen to have a **** freezer at home, you can preserve food for months. For all the rest, it makes all sense to me. I'm Italian, it looks like we have a lot in common with Japanese people. We can be quite picky about the right tools to use in the kitchen, and food preparation in general, so even if we might not be as specific with bowls or fluffing rice, I totally get the mindset. We're civilized people not Gordon Ramsey. :) The only thing I find wierd is sitting when peeing but - for splash control - I can't argue with the logic of it.
I lived in Japan for 3 years and that is where I met my husband. I am American and he is Japanese. He moved from Japan to Ca and we have been married for almost 23 yrs. We follow none of these but probably because he just adapted to my ways of living LOL
The rice bowl part is 100% understandable. I grew up where we had a Salad bowl that was only for salad and my dad would get in trouble for using it for making bread/cookies. I personally had a pot specifically for some foods for a while until I moved 3 times and it ended up in storage.
Well, I’ve been living in Japan and married to a Japanese woman for nearly 20 years now, and I have to say that Paolo really nailed this. Every point has been either experienced by one of my foreign friends or myself. I think I’ve had it easier than most since my wife also has the experience of living in Canada (where I’m from) so she understands ‘where I’m coming from’. (Literally). One thing that wasn’t on the list was anything regarding child-raising. For my wife and I, probably the biggest friction in our marriage was in this area. Example: my wife was always furious with me when I let our kids go outside without a jacket in winter or an umbrella on a rainy day. From my cultural perspective, this is how children learn. If they get cold or wet, they remember for next time, and prepare accordingly. My wife felt that it was parents’ responsibility to chase your child down the street and force them to take an umbrella - whether they wanted to or not. The message, for me, being that our behavior is guided by familial or social expectations, rather than from individual understanding or will. Anyway, I don’t think we ever did reach a compromise on this point…but now our kids are older so it’s not as much of an issue. 😅
@@kajerlou Sounds like a reasonable approach. In my case though, I drew the line at forcing my kids to put on a jacket, etc if they really didn’t want to. I would suggest it, and then be like, “well, you’re the one who’s going to be uncomfortable, not me…”. Enter Mom. “PUT ON YOUR JACKET RIGHT NOW OR ELSE.” 😂
@@kajerlou Its more complicated than that because they are constantly learning from observed behavior that they see their parents do as well other people that they interact with directly or indirectly (media), plus base instinct. If they observe you always using a umbrella or vice versa they will be more prone to emulate. Problem with the Japanese mentality and others people in general is appeal to authority or seniority above all else instead of emulating habits of perceived successfully people regardless of age/origin/position.
I didn’t even realize that I had these things embedded into my life. As a half Japanese woman in America with my Dominican fiancé I definitely pushed a lot of these things onto him.
AC is a must, even if I leave the number on high like 26-27 C. If that's not available, then a dehumidifier and a ceiling fan would also do the trick. I'm not sleeping in my tub of sweat where the bed is considered to be clean. That's like washing all the beddings every morning.
As someone who's dated several Japanese women, almost all of these resonate. The hardest to get used to was the bath and air conditioner one. I completely understand the logic of being clean before crawling into bed, but I always think it's important to be clean in the morning before wearing clothes and going to work. The difference is, Japanese don't believe that sleeping at night and sweating is dirty -- only leaving the home makes your body dirty. Perhaps it's because I'm a physician, but I'd rather deal with grass/dirt than sweat/bacteria. In reality, it's just a different priority as to when you want to be clean, but the best compromise is showering 2x a day!! Haha. And the A/C... ugh. As you said, they're more used to sleeping well while it's hot and humid -- I'm not. There are also some who believe that cold air will make them sick (pro tip - it doesn't... not washing your hands and touching your nose/eyes does).
lol my body runs extremely hot lol the ac would be non negotiable for me. i dont care about winter but in summer my =house is going to be a cool 70 period
I naturally produce heat...but I am accustomed to no AC. Showers in the evening ease the sleep...and of course a quick shower before new clean clothes is also ok...
I might be terrible uninformed by saying this but as an asian lass myself I think it's generally okay for us to just shower only at night because we have less apocrine sweat glands lol crawl into clean sheets clean and exit just as clean I guess
2x a day is bad for your skin, that's what my doctor tells me anyway. I have no fixed habit, sometimes I shower in the morning, sometimes in the evening
Interesting list. I think a lot of this probably depends on how exposed your wife has been to western/other culture as well. My wife is Japanese and we lived in Japan, but she also had spent a couple years in America. She loved AC, took showers in the morning and used the dryer like every day. but at the same time she always fluffed her rice, no shoes in the house, and wanted me to sit down while I pee'd lol.
@@mr.wescottx7129 people like you foster the idea that skincolor is character. this is absolutely bs. You stop thinking about people as people, but as your fantasy filled with superficialities, countries and their politics. it grosses me out. You probably never even talked with a real Japanese before, or after your mindset every person in China must be a manipulated robot. People are somewhat influenced by their people around them to some point(parents), but this normally stops when your enter puberty. Except if you are low IQ, just like you dude. My cousin for instance is a tattoo artists who makes good money, and who smokes a lot of weed in mainland china. He is not part of any gang, but just a cool dude, who thinks exactly the same like any other person who enjoys life. He cant speak English & never left the country. after your logic, people like him should not exist. After your logic, east asian woman must be docile, weak and submissive beings, but I know none who are like that. No matter if they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese. Even if they are from those countries and never left. Theyd probably beat the shit out of you for expecting that from them.
i’m amazed as none of these bother me: - i already pee seated when at home - i hate the AC unless i’m dying on the floor - i already take showers before going to bed - i rarely freeze food - it sounds right to use every dish for what it as meant for - i prefer to hang my clothes instead of using a dryer
- personally I don't pee seated I think its weird if your a dude. Just lift the toilet seat no one will know what business you do in the washroom. perhaps they just hate a dirty toilet seat. - I luv the AC and would keep it on all the time if not for the cost of electricity. As such I only turn on when needed. - I also like to take showers a lot once a day though people only recommend like 3 days a week or something. I do find it calming to take one before bed but I'm not picky when I take it. I typically take it upon waking because I like to be fresh going to work and it also helps to wake me up. - I don't mind freezing food if you live a busy life and have choose to cook a big batch the prior night to save time. I try not to keep the fridge cluttered though and I prefer food fresh but sometimes life doesn't work out that way - I'm flexible I will use dishes as they are intended provided I have enough dishes. In the army I used whatever will hold my food. - I don't have a strong preference with regards to hanging clothes or using a drying. In my neighborhood though my clothes might get stolen though so I choose to use a dryer, also its faster typically. I like to be efficient with my time.
@@christopherdsuza7531 yea i believe they don’t like to have a dirty toilet seat and surroundings, neither do i, i’ve grown up and seen that peeing while standing gets the seat and the floor surrounding dirty so to save time and don’t have to clean, just sit, but this is when i’m at home. Everyone is different and they do as they please.
@@christopherdsuza7531 > no one will know what business you do in the washroom So it shouldn't matter which lol Pros: - Almost eliminates cleaning toilet seat/floor entirely - Don't have to aim or deal with middle of the night occasional misses - Don't have to lower the seat after Cons: - Takes an extra few seconds, which you gain back anyways whenever you have to lower the seat for #2/politeness Obviously above doesn't apply if in a public restroom with a urinal
I guess my Japanese wife and I are very flexible compared to a lot of things on this video. For example, we don't have rules for using certain kinds of dishes for certain kinds of foods. It's more of convenience for us. Regarding baths, most of the time, we do take baths in the evening, but not always, and we don't wash the bathtub after every use. One thing that gets foreigners upset is when foreigners are suggested to give their salary to their wives and feel like the husband has to almost beg to get his earned money from his wife. My wife and I have separate bank accounts, but we know about each other's spending and bank balances. This was a well informative video. Thank you!
My wife and I always argue over the lack of dryers here in Japan. When we lived in America and used a dryer, the clothes came out all nice and fluffy warm and smelling nice due to a dryer sheet, meanwhile hanging the clothes outside doesn’t do any of that. Plus Japan had multiple rainy seasons where it will rain everyday for weeks. It could take days to dry a pair of jeans by hanging in the house. That can’t be good. Plus in America we had bath towels that lasted for years with no problem, but hanging them outside after a while, the towels discolor and become hard. Who knows what’s growing on the laundry by hanging it outside.
Strange.. I find that air-drying clothes and towels give a *much* nicer result than using a dryer. There's usually a nice breeze outside which will do wonders for the clothes. For the rainy days we have a shed to hang the clothes in, but if it's really difficult or if we have something large (like large blankets) we simply go over to the nearby coin laundry (Japan has them everywhere) and use the big dryers there.
Bird poop can happen too!🐦💩 However, especially if you don't have lits of bushes and hesges in the garden, it's low peobability and clothes dry very well, especially on a breezy spring or summer day and it has the extra advantage that it doesn't put condensation into the house.
As a Mexican married to a Japanese woman and living in USA, I can relate everything ypu mentioned, so I would like to add my 2 cents...my wife washes all her clothes at the same time but I was taught in Mexico to wash color, pants, underwear and shirts in different loads. Also, the bowls have an owner, my wife has her own set of "bowls" that I can't use because it's hers. Apparently, she made me chose my bowls in the beginning so now I am stuck with a cream color bowl that I don't like. Finally, she made me take off my shoes in rhe entrance., so she force me to tell our visits to take off the shoes in the entrance. I love her so muchoooo. We hope to visit Japan again this year or early next.
@@NeostormXLMAX I have an answer for that. As born and raise in Mexico, I can assure that most families, in Mexico, dont take off shoes in the entrance as culture driven. In my family, my mom had a mop where we needed to clean our shoes and after that, you were free to walk barefoot or socks or with shoes in the house. In many mexican homes there was not really a rule to take off shoes so that's why for me, it was kinda different. I cant speak for American families but I always ask if it's fine to go in with my shoes because a lot of apartments/homes have carpets and it's very difficult to remove stains, mud, gum, dirt.
That's how we separate our clothes in the US too, mainly because underwear is more delicate and pants/jeans are more durable, so they get put on different types of washer cycles. Your wife is a little crazy with the bowls imo.
I can totally understand the taking a bath one. I’m not Japanese, and live in the U.S, but I almost always take a shower before bed, as it makes you sleep better when you’re clean.
I’m an American, from the South. Where I grew up it is common for people like myself to live near the woods or have big yards, so we took our boots or shoes off at the front porch and left them there. Piece of cake to adapt to taking off shoes at the entry way of the Japan home. However what took me by surprise was not being able to wash our clothes at the same time. My wife insists on man and woman clothes be washed separately. Wow, I didn’t know soap was so discerning. I concur with everything you mentioned on your video, (actually lived it, however our daughter washes the bath before their use) thanks for the laugh. I have lots of American friends and we talk about getting put in the virtual dawg house often for breaking the Japanese rules. Haha. Thanks for the video.
I had really bad seasonal allergies as a kid so bringing all those allergens with me to sleep makes no sense. Funny enough, with work from home policies, I found out my Japanese wife has started skipping showers lol. As for hanging your clothes vs the dryer, I actually installed clotheslines in the garage because it just saves so much on electricity, especially now. Hanging works so well on those giant comforters instead of running the dryer for 3 hours.
@@CaliSaint You're probably right. I actually do have both solar panels and energy efficient appliances and I hang my clothes indoors (garage) but it's something to keep in mind regardless and not everyone might have the same access to these things either.
In pre-Covid days, I used to get together with some Japanese buddies at the local sento, and after the bath we'd each pop a beer open and spend some time talking about this and that. One of them asked how old my wife was, which is something I normally don't like talking about because common sense here says that a wife should be a few years younger or the same age as the husband. In my case, she was born in Dec. 1950, and I was born in Aug. 1953. We were married here in 1981 and are still together here. My friend's eyes lit up, and he said, "なるほど！金のわらじをみつけた！" ("Naruhodo! Kin no waraji wo mitsuketa!" Really! So you've found the golden waraji!") Then he asked if I knew what that meant, and I answered I hope it's good or he's in some trouble. He answered it's VERY good! 金のわらじ are tie-on sandals made of woven rushes but in this case made of gold. In other words, "彼女の目には、間違いはありません。" ("Kanojo no me niha, machigai ha arimasen." In her eyes, you can do no wrong.) I asked if he too found the golden sandals, and he answered he wasn't so lucky. He said he's constantly in the dog house on weekends for all sorts of infractions, mostly drinking. He was actually a year older than me, but he said he was terrified of having to retire and gave his mortgage as the main reason why, but I think it also comes down to not having found the golden sandals.
Been married to my wife (Japanese) for 24 years and don't have an issue with any of the things you mention. We go back and forth between USA and Japan several times each year. Have a home in Fujieda-Shizuoka.
My favorite part "I make this mistake all the time, so she just lives with it.". I guess Miko's compromise was to live with it. lol. Thanks for another great video!
Many of these points hold true also in Europe in several places, which is why I had no problem adapting to my fiancee's customs. 1. Sitting down in the toilet is not uncommon here outside public bathrooms (who have specialized ones for men) because of the same reason. Neither the man nor the woman wants to clean any splashes. 2. The AC at night is also not used since it increases dryiness in the air and at night it can be really annoying and it might leave you with a sore throat. Usually if the temperature at night is over 25ºC it's better to use a small fan that rotates with as much air circulation as possible. At winter, same thing as you stated, we just use thick layers in bed and when u wake up you can turn on a heater if needed. Where I live in winter it's down to -10ºC. 3. The rice one is not hard to get used to a couple of times. 4. Taking showers before bed, specially hot ones, is also common here. It helps you sleep better too. 5. Frozen meat here is custom to at most 1 month, but since food is really fresh in my area, it's a waste and you usually don't buy food for more than 4-5 days in advance. 6. I've never used a dryer in my life even when I was living the US. Clothes tend to deteriorate and last less, specially if they are made of delicate materials. 7. The bowls thing must be something more dependent on the person. My fiancee doesn't really care, although it's not like I use bowls for anything else.
Same.. though for 4, the Japanese style is shower or washing and *then* a proper bath. Not a western long tub, but a Japanese shorter, deeper tub. Hot. My wife prefer 42C, but for the sake of me she sets it to 41C (a bit lower in summer). It'll keep the temperature due to the automation, so when you're warm and sleepy, however long it takes, you get out, dry yourself, and then go to bed. And you'll be nice and warm all night, even if the bedroom is super cold in the winter (no heating, no insulation). Without the bath it's shaking with cold all night. As for 6, the dryer.. I've never owned one, my parents used one in their apartment and the clothes are not nice coming out of it. I much prefer air drying (outside in Japan, except when it's raining too much, then it's in the shed, or inside in a specific dry room in my own country). However, sometimes we have way too much, or too big items or need to dry them quickly (say, large blankets), and in Japan you can find coin laundries around the corner and they'll have big dryers. So we use those occasionally.
Im Australian and a lot of these things resonate with me. Bath before bed, no shoes in the house, fluff the rice. I only use a dryer on the coldest / wettest days when the clothes just aren't drying. I didn't grow up with air con so even though i have air con now, i rarely use it and prefer to keep the windows and doors open.
@@tovarishchfeixiao Because some things just dont dry inside, Ive used inside racks for years and it does not work for everything nearly as good as outside
I’ve been married to an Asian woman for over 16 years (unfortunately cancer took her away) and I know some of these issues. But to be fair, with the dryer situation I was spot on with her. We always had a garden and a rotary dryer and I prefer still the rotary dryer (in winter cloth horse) over a dryer, the cloth just smells much nicer when hung in fresh sea air (living in a fisher village near the beach).
I'm married and we are both Australian. I can't speak to how "standard" these practices are but a lot on this list are things we've always done. Bathing/showering in the evening before bed, no shoes in the house, no getting on the bed or couch with dirty work clothes. I clean the bath before I use it because we have cats and I brush my hair in the bathroom so it's always fluffy by the time I take a bath anyway. We have also never owned a dryer, so are used to line drying our clothes, although my family did have one when I was still living at home. And we do have the AC on in summer so we can sleep because we have hot humid summers very similar to Japan (35° at night and 80-100% humidity) but we agree on that so it doesn't matter! Oh and he bought me a rice cooker a few years ago and I'll never go back! They are the best and you can make so many things in them, even cakes.
I am a foreign husband to a Japanese wife and I do the "change into house clothes" thing myself. She never asked me to. But I have a couple of sets of very comfortable clothes, including trainers, shorts and T-shirts. As soon as I get home, I get out of my street clothes and into my house clothes. It's cleaner and more comfortable.
It makes sense. I never sit down anywhere in my house while wearing jeans. I sit in the bus and all the other places in them, and I am not bringing this onto the furniture.
So as an American male living in America... I actually did most of these things when I lived alone!. Sitting when using the toilet was so much better I didn't have to guess where things were going lmao. I also would take my shoes off at my front door before going fully into the apartment and even started taking off most of my outer layers at the door during the summer time. I don't like people sitting on my bed in their outside clothes and I don't even like it on my chairs but have to compromise sometimes. I personally do not sit on any of my furniture with clothes that I've worn outside. I also still to this day do not use a dryer lol I like my clothes hanging around smelling amazing until they're dry. Washing before bed has become a routine of mine as well just feels a lot better. The food thing I didn't do though a bowl is a bowl lol.
Thank you! Finally someone let the real Japanese ways known! Of course some things are depends on the person or house hold. I just appreciate to prove that I am not a freak. It will be so nice that if you feature the cleanliness is a big part in Japan. I have witnessed too many times that visitors don’t know and appreciate it. Thank you always for excellent videos and being accurate as close as possible! !Always enjoy them! ありがとね！
WOW! I'm from Sweden and I do almost everything you spoke about 😳 But in business economics/organization theory which I have studied they say Swedes and Japanese are very alike. 🇸🇪🤜🤛🇯🇵
@@rodmyob Only if you're a bad chess player _from Ingmar Bergman's movie_ *the Seventh Seal* (original Swedish title: Det sjunde inseglet) (1957) MachoMartyr: Who are you? Death: I am Death. MachoMartyr: Have you come for me? Death: I have walked at your side for a long time now. MachoMartyr: That I know. Death: Are you prepared? MachoMartyr: My body is afraid, but I am not. [Death approaches MachoMartyr] MachoMartyr: Wait a moment. Death: You all say that. But I give no respite. MachoMartyr: You play chess, do you not? Death: How do you know that? MachoMartyr: I've seen it in paintings, heard it in the songs. Death: I really am a rather skilful chess player. MachoMartyr: Even so, you can't be more skilful than me. Death: Why do you want to play chess with me? MachoMartyr: That is my business. Death: You are right about that. MachoMartyr: My condition is that I may live as long as I resist you. If I checkmate you, you set me free. _[to decide who begins, MachoMartyr hides a white and black piece in each hand, Death chooses the hand that has the black piece]_ MachoMartyr: Black for you! Death: It becomes me well
Hi Paolo! I also live in Tokyo, married to a Japanese husband and everything on your list is spot on! 😂 Except for the frozen stuff. He is okay with them being over 2 weeks old. 😂 I’ve been here for 3 years and I’ve adjusted to all of these etiquette. 🤣
That miso soup with cabbage looks so good! Great video I didn’t know about the bowls. I sometimes use my Japanese tea bowl/cups for ice cream to not each too much :)
The bath one would be fine for me, I take night showers haha Its great to wind down at the end of the day, and I also agree with not wanting to sleep when still dirty from the day and only clean yourself after sleeping without washing lol
I'm not Japanese, but I like Fluffy rice too. I was taught to wash the bathtub after every use and then to rinse it down to clear any dust that might have collect over the period of use. I buy meat only for the week. I love the all in one machines too. It's less space taken up.
Great video Paola and Maiko! I'm married to a Japanese man and experienced some of these things too haha :D One thing that irks me the most though is the frequency of doing laundry 😅As someone from Belgium where the climate is very moderate, towels would be used 2-3 days, tops worn 1-2 days, trousers until they got dirty and all the rest was washed after 1 day. But my Japanese family throws towels into the washing machine after using it one time and it annoys me so much haha. We're doing the laundry every day and folding clothes and towels continuously in my opinion 😅 We compromised in the sense that I myself don't wash everything every day (towels for example) so we have at least a bit less laundry
In my country, making the rice fluffy is also a custom. And I do think the taste is more delicious that way. In addition, if you didn't fluff the rice, they sometimes becomes too wet and watery.
@@gringopapi6985 I've noticed that too and heck even the new apartments that is being built is partially designed from Japanese ones. It's not exactly the same, but it's still quite close.
I am a single American woman living in Japan, but most of these points (except #6- I do not usually eat meat- if I do, it would be eaten the day I buy it- and #1 is irrelevant to me) are natural to me. I guess I have adapted, LOL. Sleep with the AC on? No way. Maybe a fan though. Even the bowls, I did not even realize I only use my rice bowls for rice! Of course, I fluff the rice, even though I am alone. I always wash the bath before using it. I love to hang my clothes out to dry, so I usually do not do laundry on rainy days! This was fun to watch.
Many of these same issues apply in cross-cultural relationships with women from other Asian countries. Being married for 50 years to a Malaysian, much of this sounded familiar. Compromise and understanding is key to make relationships last, particularly when East meets West!
I'm an ESL teacher and I speak to Japanese people everyday. This was eye-opening! As an American the thought of taking a shower at night is unfathomable! However.... as I grow older (50 years) I am on board! It helps me relax and destress after a long day and I do believe that your bed is your sanctuary, a calm, peaceful and clean place to be. Feels sooooooooooo good (!) to crawl into a nice, clean, soft, comfortable bed when you yourself are soft, clean, etc. Hilarious vid!
ehh i could get used to it.Back in high school i played 3 sports so I was always dirty in the evening coming home so i would shower at night to get clean and in the morning to wake up. sometimes there is nothing better then a morning shower know what i mean??
I could live comfortably with any of those rules. On the frozen food topic: The short answer is that foods will keep indefinitely in a frozen state. That's right - as long as your freezer is plugged in and functioning normally, frozen foods will never expire, go bad, or pose any health issues Freezer burn is the foe of any frozen food. It creeps into packages, covers once-delicious foods with frost, and then sucks the moisture out of them. When thawed, foods that developed freezer burn look desiccated and limp. You can cook them, technically, but they will lack good flavor or texture.
My English wife (resident in Australia) never uses a drier, follows almost all the Japanese hygiene rules except the bath (which she sees as 'wallowing in your own dirt.' Like many Australians she will shower multiple times/day in hot weather. The big exception is frozen meat which occasionally is 'forgotten' in the Freezer for months. Dish washer is always used because it gets stuff cleaner than hand washing. But altogether UK/Oz quite similar to Japan
Not Japanese and not married to one here, but I have to agree that there's some truth to the "fluffy" rice thing! I've started doing it on my own and somehow it does taste better!
I'm a fan of taking showers at night, however as a Colombian we take showers in the morning as well because at night while you are sleeping you tend to sweat a lot and get dirty.
Same in Costa Rica, it's the usual thing to take a shower on mornings. There are people who shower on night, especially if they sweated a lot through the day.
Same here in Brazil... 2 showers a day are a common. People like to shower in the morning when it's too hot at night and there is a lot of sweat, and, shower again at night after a long day of work. There are some regions in Brazil that is so hot during the day (and eventually at night sometimes) that is known to some people to shower 3 times a day (but this is not a rule for all brazilians, since not all regions on the country are that hot).
2 showers. At evening / night - to sleep well. In the morning - to be fresh. No way can I just wake up and go without showering. I would feel like Conan the Barbarian.
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I literally LMFAOd after Paolo's intro: This is why Japanese wives hate their foreign husbands 🤣🤣🤣
*The title of the video*
Me: My Japanese wife disagrees.
HERE BEFORE MAX REPLIES
lol, Japanese people are so anal. And I say this as a Japanese person myself! 🤣
So rice bowl can be use for cereals or soup
I've been married to a Chinese lady for 45 years. Nearly all of these same cultural practices apply to Chinese as well. However, my wife refuses to freeze any food or buy frozen food. Shops every day. Clothes dryer, dish washer - never been used. Oven - never been used for cooking. Ovens are for storing bananas.
Banana fridge! I like it!
Same here
We live in a near older near CBD suburb. Wifey doesn't drive at all. She walks. Fortunately supermarkets and shopping malls are walking distance - less than 1 Km (half a mile).
Asian food shops are close by. She doesn't know how to cook Western food and I never bothered to show her how. She cooks Nyonya food (for those who know). She enjoys western food but we need to eat out for her to eat it. She's ethnic Chinese from another Asian country - I met her there - I worked there for 10 years. We speak a melange of her language and English.
your fucked up
@@lezivanerrol3697 I'm assuming Malaysian Chinese? Because of Nyonya
Speaking as an African American from Texas, I grew up taking baths at night before bed. The logic behind why we take baths at night are exactly the same as what you explained in the video. The bed is for clean bodies and clothes. But anyway, I am a huge fan of your content! You have an unique production style to your videos! I love them and I can’t wait to watch your next one! 💙💙
from a northern state, I'd definitely take a shower if it was a hot day and I had been outside and sweating... but on most days it feels like (or I was raised to believe) I'm clean enough, because we've never been hot and sweaty. obviously it's still less clean than a shower or bath before bed, but it seems like it's good enough.
plus I just prefer to shower in the morning, it wakes you up and helps you look your best before you go out for the day
I do that too
I'm white,southern, and my mom had us take a bath at night. I've taught my biracial kids bath at night and shower in the morning. Louisiana is either muggy or hot. I like the sheets to stay clean alittle while. Secondly I have always fixed a dish after someone spoons some out. It redistribute the heat in the food.
Yes, same. I don't like going to be sweaty and dirty from the day. It makes sense
I do the same. It's also a way to decompress for the day and relax enough to get a good sleep.
When I worked in Hokkaido as a JET the other JETS who had been there awhile gave us a orientation guide to help navigate the culture. Food, driving, shopping, dealing with your Japanese boss, lots of useful information. There was a section on dating. The part for foreign women wanting to date Japanese men was several pages long detailing how not to scare them off and act "cute". Bits on how to talk, how to dress, how to drink, what to expect if you got him back to your place, etc, etc. The part for foreign men wanting to date a Japanese woman I will quote here in it's entirety: "Go into a bar. Sit down. Wait for them to come."
I laughed the longest on this one 🤣 😂
JET? Jury-rigged, Explosive Toupee?
The legendary gaijin hunters. I personally wouldn't recommend them though.
Former Akkeshi JET in East Hokkaido. Do not go near the Gaijin Hunters. I had plenty come on to me over there, and like the old saying goes “Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth”… I did, and am I glad I did
Is this true Bro? Lmao
The shower and bath one has been a frequent battle in the household for last couple of years. Paola, I genuinely had no idea it was a specifically Japanese thing, I just thought my wife was nuts about it. Thank you!
No, that's literally the thing that always irritates me about most American bathrooms. The shower in the bathtub is just nasty and after showering outside the tub and literally only going into the bathtub after, you genuinely realize how much cleaner you are. If I were to do that in America, I'd be cleaning that bathrub every week but in Japan, I've literally gone months forgetting too not noticing a difference at all. It's certainly inspired me to clean before bed granted I still don't agree with shampoo on a daily.
Not specific to Japan but an aspect of them
Paolo is a genius for monetizing him admitting all the arguments he lost to maiko 😅
😂for real.
What's weird is the fact that he still stands up to shit and she doesn't mind that one bit.
@@grizzlyaddams3606 read my comment above, these woman are born to play games with their spouses as its in their culture …she does mind dude but she will probably spill it all out like a organised list she kept in her little dark mental diary three years later when they get into a deeper argument for example…. She will also do it in a very cowardly way most likely a text message, as they avoid confrontation like vampires the sun and if he is as lucky as my good Aussie friend she will disappear with his three kids and never let him see them again as a punishment for speaking to her that way for all those years… then he will be lucky if he can keep living in Japan because he is on a spouse visa and spend every last ¥ on child support and a reasonably good lawyer who will be powerless to even get him visitation rights as the Japanese don’t follow up on the Hague treaty rules they signed I think as late as 2014 and they wont give a fuck about his gaijin ass…I speak from experience… 17 yrs in Japan and over 10 Japanese GF in Australia and two failed marriages. They are very good at making you feel like they are fine with you gaijin big mouth … Japanese men know this and must keep quiet as they see and grow up with these awkward mentally taxing on men wonderful parts of Japanese culture… PURE Brutal Truth ! Happens very often there !!!
thanks for sharing, i thought my wife is the only one
The Hells Angels, the Comanchero motorcycle club and the Aussie Cartel heads are having talks while you are reading this about their growth in Australia and in Asia. Exterminating The Yakusa presence and their activities in the country would be considerably profitable for the Hells Angels, the Comanchero motorcycle club and the Aussie Cartel. The goal is to initiate their expansion over the Yakusa in Australia and to push it as far as in Japan. According to their plans, they are and will be supported by the Sinaloa Cartel for a part of the gains obtained and it would be done by the end of 2023. They told their mens to prioritize the capture, mostly for torture and interrogation before killing and for selling but to kill right away if they can not capture. This is what members having close ties with Hells Angels chapter leaders are talking about. Some members of the Hells Angels and of the Sinaloa Cartel had already start moving to Australia. The mens had been told to get the job done by any means, even by mass killing if needed. If you are directly involved let your comrades know so you can be prepared for what is happening before it is too late to prevent the bloodbath and your fall!!
As an Aussie, I totally agree with the drying clothes outside ethos. The clothes dryer is reserved for the towels and those days where it's just too rainy. Otherwise, they're out on the Hills Hoist in the sun. We were actually told about the antibacterial qualities of sunlight during antenatal classes and the fact the sun can help reduce stains.
Totally agree with you. Sweaty smell goes away quickly after washing and hanging sweaty clothes in the sun!
When I lived in Australia, the sun bleaching was something that was unpleasant for me.
@@nsumma I was gonna say doesn't the sun bleach the clothes? I wear a lot of brightly colored clothes, that would suck lol
@@gloriinher40s yeah dude any dark clothing of mine would start to turn orange, it was kind of wild, plus I can’t count how many spiders we found on out hang dryer hahahaha
@@nsumma OH GOD 😭😭😭😭
I've watched a lot of vlogs over the years by foreigners living in Japan. While I don't gravitate towards them anymore, I always spare time for your videos. I love the natural and positive vibes you bring. It's like we're really there, getting a sense of what life is like for you and everyone else. Well done. ^.^
I really like hanging my clothes out to dry, but I live near Chicago and with the winter weather I do resort to using the dryer. However I have an electric dryer and a really trick filtering setup that vents the hot moist air into the house, it really makes the house so nice having that scent and extra moisture during the brutal cold snaps.
Paolo is spot on with all the points he brought up in this video. My wife is Japanese and has called me on several of these issues, even though we've lived in the U.S. for 20 years!
After 20 years of relationship and 15 years of marriage, I can easily say that the number one source of misunderstandings and arguments is the direct (western) vs indirect (asian) communication style. Period.
That applies to us (German husband, English wife), too. Direct and indirect can have many nuances.
Don't know about East vs West. Brits can be equally dodgy if not worse. And I do mean dodgy.
Women are already indirect , add being Asian on top of that and it’s a struggle (coming from someone who’s dated a Filipina) I could never tell wtf she wanted😂
I think the problem is just women... has nothing to do with race
What you're speaking of, sir, is not a western/eastern difference in communication culture, it's a world wide male/female phenomenon.
The only one I would militantly stand my ground on is the AC. I absolutely cannot sleep while hot. It is a miserable experience, and as it is I tend to be a hot sleeper even with AC. The rest of it struck me as things I could learn to live with, and none of them struck me as hills worth dying on.
Currently having these talks with my Japanese partner haha Sitting to pee was annoying but I understand it. Like you, I have not relented on the AC issue. Im double her size and simply can't handle sleeping hot.
wall mounted ACs are practically silent and do not produce any noise.
growing up in AZ means you could actually die without AC so yeah I grew up very well accustomed to AC 24/7.
@@Buonarotti10 Depends upon the size and type.
You even have to be a lot of gourd to keep pissing standing up the throne was made to sit down he demands it.
The can't use AC during the night is stupid during summers because there is a technique used to reduce your A/C bills during hot summer days. Set your AC's automatic settings to during the night (right when you go to sleep) to lower the whole house anywhere from 62-65°F (16-18°C) and then shut off completely at sunrise have the AC shut off completely. The whole house will be super chilled and will naturally be warmed slower by the weather. You'll wont' get above 75°F (23°C) during the peak of the day where the outside weather is the hottest. The nice thing about this is your electric bill is lower during the evening because of less stress on the grid than during the day and will save you lots of money rather than having to have your AC run during the day. This works both well in the US and is extremely helpful in Japan during the hot summers. It's economical. You will be sacrificing some comfort during your sleep, but the body will eventually adjust to anything. I say saving money is better than a little discomfort. I understand the culture thing. But it's better than being uncomfortable during the day due to not running AC at all unless needed or having it run during the day instead which causes a big spike in the electric bill.
I've never seen an AC that has settings like that available
@@00maniacmanny00 I think most Acs you can set the amount of hours it will stay on, no?
Just open the windows of the rooms you're not sleeping in and use fans to cool them down at night.
House fans are pretty good as well
@@jmarcos06no the typical hvac unit does not have settings like that.
I lived in Japan for over 15 years and were married for probably 10 of them before moving to the US, and we ran into some of the same issues. We never ran into the AC problem. But probably because we lived in Aomori-ken, so running A/C was not really an issue. Flat/fluffy rice... yes ran into this issue, but not enough to divorce. I still leave it flat, and she will make it fluffy after she takes her portion. But she doesn't get mad about it. Bath before sleep...yes had to deal with this one. However, she ALWAYS insisted I take a bath/shower first. So not really an issue. Frozen meat in the freezer...yes. Ran across this issue many times. I still keep frozen meats longer than 2 weeks. But most of the time we eat most of our meats before we get to the 2 week time frame. So again, not too much of an issue. When in Japan we always hung our clothes. When me moved to Hawaii I introduced her to the clothes dryer. At first she would still hang our clothes but then she saw she could get all the laundry done within a couple hours and no clothes left to hang-dry. She adapted just fine to a dryer because its way faster than an overnight hang. Getting the bowls right... I still mess them up. But as Maiko does, my wife doesn't get angry anymore as she knows I am far from perfect. If we go to her mom's house though, I better get it right or I will hear about it. As you say, its all about compromise. I have been compromising with my Japanese wife for over 25 years, and I'm hoping to continue well into the future. Take care... and forgive each other to stay together.
I have found a real difference between Basmati and the short grain rice.. so adding some Basmate will provide some of that fluff
"Probably" 10 😄
10 of them 🤨?
@@MarcDufresneosorusrexbasmati most based rice
@@anu1776 Yup
American wife with Japanese husband here! He and his family have taught me all of these over the years and are very particular about them! They make sense to me though so I have accommodated pretty much all of these; we run a very Japanese household (and raise our kids in a more Japanese way) even though we live in the US :)
The AC issue is a big deal for me but I live in Texas. I am willing to tolerate as high as 74 degrees Fahrenheit but it needs to be augmented by desk or floor fans.
That's just dumb. You should find more of a balance. Your heritage counts too.
@@meb5205 What the American heritage? There isnt one for that. Plus based off of her comment shes fine that way
@@terencesdurag2823 Mix of different heritages since America is a melting pot of cultures
@@terencesdurag2823 American heritage as in illegally invading other nations and being disgusting warmongers?
Hey Paolo! I'm a 70 year old American. Never been to Japan and most of these make perfect sense to me. Particularly taking a shower(or bath) before going to bed. I was raised to always shower before going to bed. My parents made me. I raised my children (4)to do the same. Until I watched your older video that explained that I didn't know anybody would go to bed without bathing.
Hey Mike
Happy new year in late
Sorry nobody wished you in the comments
Now you might be around 72yo so I want to tell you
Keep living your best life at this age
I'm 13yo
Thanks, this explains a lot. My wife is Vietnamese but we have many similar issues. Ovens for banana storage etc. was spot on for example.
I am filipino chinese and I was raised to always change my outside clothes to inside clothes when I get home. Good to know other cultures do this too.
I am half fil japanese and i think this is common jn asian countries as we emphasize cleanliness
Filipino in California we do this to, once we get home we change.
my condolences
My ex who was Spanish also changed to house clothes. I thought it was crazy, but I adopted to it over time. It really makes you feel "at home" vs work in your mind, so you just relax and enjoy home that much more. Great brain hack.
So we have a similar situation in the Czech Republic. We also shower in the evening to go to bed clean. After arriving at the house, we take off our shoes and change into comfortable home clothes. And in our family, we also sleep with an open window even in winter. Unless it's extremely cold or stormy. And so we prefer to dry our clothes in the fresh air. It saves a lot of energy.
Exactly. While watching the video, I thought to myself that I must be a Japanese woman.
How about mosquitoes? In my country, if I open the window even for like 10 minutes only, mosquitoes would all rush in like a starved little vampires.
I need to choose between can't sleep because of heat or can't sleep because of mosquito bites.
@@oo8962 We use a net for the window frame, the air can flow and the mosquitoes won't get through.
About the bathtub: I had an aunt marry a Japanese man and moved there. One thing she shared about bath customs was that Japanese people tend to shower using the shower outside of the tub, but a tub of water is drawn anyway to just soak in after washing their bodies, which explains the cleaning needed before using it. She also mentioned that the whole family would take turns soaking based on seniority, so by the time it was her turn, the water was already cold lol
These days the baths are very automated. They will fill themselves to the perfect level and temperature and sound a chime when done. They will also maintain the temperature and water level. Of course in older baths, cold water would definitely be an issue.
Kellie is right about how the Japanese take a shower and bath. One thing I did not like, and I still do not like, is how they take baths in Japan. I learned in Japan that they use the same hot water in the tub for everyone in the family. Naturally, water gets dirty one person after another, even though they washed their body outside the tub. I took the bathtub first. If not, I drained it and refilled brand new hot clean water. After years of marriage, my Japanese husband liked my way.
@@rsac43 Dang, those exist? I live in the USA and all the average priced homes have normal baths that you just fill and adjust the temperature with a knob or handle.
@@dorist7280 Japanese people know that if you change the water in the bathtub one by one, it will be clean. However, for two people, the water and gas charges are double. Four times if you have two children. The Japanese do not waste resources.
its true.
You say the theme is compromise but really it’s a reminder to pick your battles wisely.
The classic air conditioner war. Never gets old lol.
Just became a member and I have been watching your content since last year! Been watching your food videos and to-do's in Japan cuz I am planning to visit there once they open the borders! Keep it up kuya paolo!
It gets even better/worse in Japan because it almost always a mini-split(s) and not cental air.
I believe the global warming and more frequent extreme hot weather may change that mindset😅
I once shared a hotel room with a girl from Vegas for a week. Turns out that a Canadian and a desert dweller have VERY different opinions about comfortable sleeping temperatures.😆
I’m from the south… if I’m hot I turning that AC on
I like to keep my room at 58F-65F
I can relate with the cleaning part here in Brazil, specially after the whole pandemic thing we had recently.
One behaviour we acquired is to change our clothes and take a shower before entering our house when we arrive from anything we had to do outside our property (we have an extra external bathroom in our back porch) like going to the movies, buying groceries, visiting someone and so on.
Brazil mentioned
Married to an Asian woman, I’ve retrained my brain to respond “of course, you’re right” to my wife concealing my eye roll. This was not an easy skill to master.
Bud, you learn that for ANY woman, not just Asian ones
@@WildEyeVosevic😂😂 truth being told
Ah yes, the infamous simp mentality.
I'll never understand how people consider that a healthy marriage.
@@casr01 it’s been healthy for over thirty years now. It’s called not sweating the small stuff.
i agree with the bath/shower before bed. i like to feel refreshed before going to bed.
I'm not Asian but I shower every evening. I can't imagine rolling around all night in the grime and sweat of even a day's light activity.
I have to take a shower in the morning -- otherwise, I have crazy bed hair all day. (I take a bonus shower in the evening if I've been sweating alot -- but, for my hair, the morning shower is a requirement.)
Wow! This is looking good for me! I am single. I have rules for myself in order to enjoy more cleanliness and time effectivenes.
I hate the idea of sleeping in a dirty bed. If you keep the bed clean, you wake up clean! What's so hard to understand? Sitting on the bed, before I swing my feet up, I even brush them off against each other.
When you use the toilet, just like embers shoot off from a camp fire, droplets of water/urine shoot out of the toilet when you piss from a standing position. It doesn't matter how careful you are, even if you miss nothing! Urine water will still become excessive around the rim, on the floor, or your clothes. You can keep things cleaner if you sit on the seat of the toilet, there is less force at that shorter distance. Besides, if you're going to relieve your bladder, why not relieve your feet and legs, your mind, and eyes (if you just woke up, you can keep them closed; or let them wander as you pontificate upon your posterior)?
@@jeremywhite92 exaclty
"refreshed" is what people think.
The reality is if you're not bathing before bed then your bed is going to be so much more filthy.
Very interesting take on relationships in Japan especially within couples that have different culturally backgrounds. KEEP THE VIDS COMING!
Thank you! Will do!
it's just tyrannical
I'm an American, but I don't have an Asian wife. Regarding the rice fluffing, I learned from my Mom, who was Italian, that you ALWAYS fluff the rice once it's cooked, and the best way to do it is with a wooden fork, NOT a metal one, with wide tines to evenly fluff the rice. And I tell you, it works like a charm. Try it on your wife and see how she likes it.
In the Philippines (Paolo’s mom and dad are from the Philippines) we don’t fluff our rice. It’s more on the Tropical weather here and the more you fluff or spoon the cooked rice, the humidity here spoils the rice very quickly. So it’s a rule once the rice is cooked, don’t touch it until you’re about to eat. Don’t even open the lid to see it cooking.
@@inisipisTV Thanks for the info, it definitely makes sense. No matter how old you are, you learn something new every day. Mabuhay !!!!!
I dony understand u point
Here in Peru we also fluff the rice after it's been cooked, you have to, it gives rice a nice texture.
@@mannyb7949 Especially when you are looking to mix it with other foods to give it a perfect consistency.
Wow.. my wife is Hong Kong Chinese and this list is exactly the points in our 20+ year marriage deals with. I am American living in Australia with her and these are the things that have created conflict in our marriage, or I should say could have created conflict as we have sorted these things out. Since living in rural Queensland where we shop only when we go to town the fresh food situation has been one where she had to learn that we buy in larger quantities and keep in storage. It took a bit of time for her to change from where she once lived and everything you want is just outside your door in a large cosmopolitan city to being a farm girl.. well almost a farm girl. Compromise is the key.
I think there's an additional key
I was once told that compromise was defined as 2 parties losing equally
This seems fair in small amounts
...but I can't help but suspect that if both parties each lose too much...then both would be equally miserable
...which would be horrible for any relationship
I think...though compromise is vital...it should coupled with acceptance (like, actual open-hearted acceptance, not bitter tolerance)
Both measures have their limits...but I think having 2 options would but less strain on a relationship. 😊
(I'm just speaking theoretically and not judging...you've been married for 20+ years and I'm still single...so very obviously, you know what works 😅)
I agree with bathing before bed and also removing “ outside clothes “ I do this I don’t want the pants I used to maybe sit down outside on my bedding I also see how this can be annoying for certain people but it’s a habit for me I agree with cleaning with the bathtub after each person ! I cannot believe you have to throw away meat like that ! The meat can stay well for a very very long time
Imagine sitting on a public bench where people urinate, defecate, and all sorts of other things, then sitting down on your couch. Yuck.
Precisely. Even pre-covid I always made it a point to change out of my outside clothes and sometimes even go the extra mile to wash some of them the same day. Now that I think on it, all of my family does as well. I will never understand people who actually wear their jeans AND shoes on their bed. Psychopathic behavior, lol
You guys all have OCD, lol. I wonder if you guys get sick a lot because your immune systems are so low
@@twinklefire7241 Where do you live where people are doing all that on benchs??!!
@@twinklefire7241 Fun Fact: The sun's UV rays actually destroy bacteria, fungi, and algae from surfaces in 30 minutes. So those benches aren't as dirty as you think (even cleaner if it's rained recently beforehand).
Hi Paolo, thanks for the interesting video. I’m Indonesian and totally agree about the fluffy rice. I also hate it when kids are too lazy to fluff the rice when happen to be the first one taking it from the rice cooker. One reason to fluff the rice is becoz usually the top part is drier while the bottom part is more moist, so fluff the rice when it is still hot even out the softness, and eventually, makes it taste better.
Totally agree. I'm Malaysian Chinese and we always fluff our rice
I’m half Indonesian/Australian. I grew up with my Australian parent and learned to fluff rice as a teenager from my host mother while on a school exchange in Japan.
I can confirm that most Balinese people that I know do not fluff rice. They get annoyed and ask me why I’m bothering to fiddle around with the rice cooker, just eat it or move out of the way😅 Like, “ngapain aduk2 nasinya gitu, ambil makan dah!”
Agreed on fluffing the rice. Also, just to clarify, you don't necessarily fluff the rice every time. You fluff the rice when rice is just cooked and scoop the bottom rice to the top. When you take a portion of rice and the bottom of the rice cooker is exposed though, you want to redistribute the rice to cover that exposed area. This is because with some models of rice cookers, that exposed area will introduce more heat in the rice cooker and dries the top layer of rice quicker.
Oh I never thought of the top of the cooked rice being drier than the rest. This will definitely be a new habit for me. Thank you for the explanation :)
“Like my man Biggie once said…if you don’t know, now you know.” I busted out laughing after that. Great content as always and thanks for sharing all things Japan. Hope to travel there one day for about a week.
My co-workers looking at me strange after I suddenly yell out *NGGAAAA*
@@rachidvanheyningen 😂😭😭
@@rachidvanheyningen HR will be calling you in a few days!!!lol
The more I learn about Japanese culture, the more similar to my native Scandinavian culture I find it. It's kinda wild that going halfway around the globe, across cultures that increasingly becomes different from my own, and then suddenly, it becomes similar again.
It's quite similar cause for the longest time, both regions have been quite isolated from the world. While Scandinavia wasn't "as" isolated as Japan, it was still not that easy to travel to it until commercialized flights became cheap. Scandinavia has also been quite "off the beaten path", the vast majority of at least Swedish history has been population booms followed by a good chunk migrating to other places (The Danes had their period of migration to England and northern France, creating Normandy).
Funny enough, at least the tribes of Sweden had some basic contact with Rome at one point where they traded animal pelts with the romans. Caesar might have written something about that in his commentarii, I remember he was quite fascinated by moose.
@@SvengelskaBlondie "Scandinavia was still not that easy to travel to it until commercialized flights became cheap"? What the fuck are you talking about? The world doesn't revolve around America weirdo. Also most of the similarities are similar to Germany as well. Like seriously, what the fuck has commercialized flights to do with living in isolation. Where is your brain?
@@SvengelskaBlondie Similarly, Japan had contact with China, so it wasn't completely isolated either. Both Japan and Scandinavia learned from bigger civilizations, eventually surpassing those civilizations in the modern age (Japan is now more developed than China while Scandinavia is now more developed than Italy).
Simply because some things just make sense. Except for cleaning the bath BEFORE you get in. I clean it after I am done, so it is clean for the next use.
This. I'm technically "American" but my family is from the Upper Midwest which as you know, tends to be "Scandinavian" in culture because that's where many Scandinavians migrated to and brought their culture with them, where I live right now in the Southwest US is more a 50/50 mix of Hispanic culture/Typical American culture, and I've always felt like I related to Japanese people more than my American friends, its why I've grown so interested in the country, of course there's still a culture gap, there always will be, but tbh with you I've never felt at home in my own country, so I'm willing to assimilate anywhere, also there are certain things in life that I think transcend cultures you know? Things where we realize we're all one and more similar than we think. The language of Music/Art is a beautifully sacred example of this, so is love, makes sense because love dates back to the beginning of life itself after all :)
I think drying clothes outside makes sense in the dry season but so impractical when it's humid or rainy. And the amount of planning you need to do to make sure your outfits are dry when you need them etc. We struggled with this when we visited the UK, makes even less sense over there because it rains all the dang time! I love my dryer!
@jernejj5 idk about that lol a lot of eu appliances are too small in general. I want that american power and speed, ill pay the extra energy cost gladly lmao
I'm married to a Japanese woman, and although we live in the U.S., I must say you were "spot-on" in every issue you brought up. Good work.
Funnily enough none apply to my wife (also Japanese). Maybe living in Italy makes the difference?
Bruv I understand showering before going to bed and in the morning but no AC during summer and no heating during winter. It's my second year in Canada, that won't cut it. I'll freeze to death. Put your foot down.
You probably made her understand who wears the pants.
How is your sex life? Many foreign men are saying that sex stops after children? Is that true?
same my wife is japanese ( married in 2010) and i'm not ok with this video@@andreapassante5653
Thank you for explaining all these. Everyone of these topics my Japanese wife has asked me to do, as I did not personally care I just did it the way she wanted. It is nice to know it is a cultural thing. My wife loves the dryer, but many types of cloths shrink, so we use the dryer and air dry.
So many things are true here for my Vietnamese wife. The sitting down to pee felt overbearing at first but after realizing that as much as I tried, I couldn't avoid all the splashing, I had to give in. It was either that or wipe the toilet down each time I used it. One thing I didn't realize would be so impactful was the lack of a shared pop culture we have with her growing up in Vietnam. It affects comedic movies primarily, which I love, and so many of the jokes go right over her head.
Bro how bad is your aim. Lol and of course you should always clean up your piss driblets. 😂
...only a woman and children sits to pee. She took your 🥜. Way to go...your WIFE is the head of your house.
As a very much white and Western person (italian living in europe) I'm honestly quite shocked at the amount of people in this comment section that think that peeing while standing in your own home is normal, like, in Italy it's a thing reserved for particularly nasty public bathrooms.
Is this just an American thing?
Yes, I experienced the same pop culture differences with my former Japanese wife. She never really laughed at most comedies, but found things extremely funny in Japanese movies or videos that might just be something repeated several times. We had little in common in this regard.
@@dDoodle788 West European now living in East Europe and I've never heard of that. Every guy I know pees standing up. Sitting down is for when you need to do a number 2. Or if you have some kind of physical problem preventing you from standing.
I guess what must also matter a lot is the toilet size and shape, and how tall you are yourself.
OMG, I was floored about the frozen meat being thrown out. To each their own, but that would never work for me because I stock up on meat when it is on sale or clearance and we eat it for months after its bought.
Yeah, I learned if it's not freezer burned, the taste will still be there.
Was thinking the same thing! I imagine that a Japanese wife might not be a good match for a doomsday prepper, lol.
Yeah, it does seem like a colossal waste
@@radolfkalis4041 its one of the reasons Japan has a LOT of food waste.
I re-wrap and or re-portion before long term freezing, short term (1-2 weeks) usually not a problem. I do it because I remember my mom used to freeze packages, straight from the market, and they'd freezer burn.
But two weeks is a bit extreme, kind of like throwing out expired shelf food on the sell by date.
This is super accurate Paolo! When you go to Japanese restaurant in the US and the rice is packed right or scooped with an ice cream scoop, you know it’s not authentic because we love it fluffed! Make a part 2! I’m sure there’s more!
Why do Japanese seem to almost exclusively prefer white rice when so many other types and varieties are available?
@@schroeder4930 It tastes the best and has the best texture.
Most of the Japanese restaurants in the US are run by Koreans. LOL. Korean people don't fluff the rice in general (only a few households do it) That's why.
@@schroeder4930 Japanese people eat a specific type of white rice called hakumai.
I would suspect that the freezer deadline is because of space of Japanese living quarters. You can't have a huge chest freezer anywhere to store half a cow. Plus, as he said, the culture of eating as fresh as possible.
Though honestly, I would cry if my partner would throw out meat after 2 weeks. It's so darn expensive.
yeah, if there's to much meat, it always goes into the freezer. its not like freezing veggies you are eating raw. i cant taste the difference from a frozen steak to a fresh steak
My Japanese wife and I lived in Japan for several years before moving to the US, and the things she loves about the US that we didn’t have in Japan: garbage disposals, dishwashers, dryers, indoor insulated garage, central air, trash pickup at your house, school bus pickup/drop off at your house K to 12. Granted, you can probably get most of these things in Japan now if you don’t mind paying for them, but I think they’re still uncommon.
Try to place a garbage disposals, dishwasher, dryer etc in a box house 😂. That's why
As an American Asian, I married a first gen Vietnamese gal and a lot of these also applies. The fluffing the rice thing...totally been there. I've since converted. I do think it does tastes better if for no other reason than because the fluffing evens out the texture differences between the lower and upper layers. The showering before bed...that didn't take much convincing because in hindsight, I wonder why I didn't do it to begin with! Showering before bed to avoid getting the bed contaminated with your day makes total sense. The frozen meat thing...I hadn't heard of before. I like to cut my own steaks and do quite a bit of vaccum sealing. She hadn't complained about the taste of the old frozen meats before. The wife does sun dry a few things...like bedsheets and blankets, but otherwise, she's content to use the dryer. As for the bowls, I did get some of that. I love eating a lot of rice so I typically use larger bowls. I've since reduce my rice intake due to doctor's orders and I now use the smaller rice bowls. I guess I already knew about the bowls, I just didn't adhere to their "intended" use. Lastly, yeah...my wife is rather forgiving. She tells me moreso to make sure I don't come off as impolite when we visit her parents than as a household rule. For some reason, because I'm Asian, I'm not given the same pass as white person would when it comes to etiquette with her parents. As with any relationship, if there's consideration, thoughfulness, and seeking to understand...then it's less likely these small things will become an issue. No relationship is perfect and fights are bound to occur (even amongst folks from similar cultural background), but it's how come to an agreement is what's important. Many agreements are talked about, and some are just tacitly understood. I guess the hardest part of being married was to let go of my ego for certain (many) things. I guess that's how I knew I found someone great; I didn't feel like a fool for letting go of that ego.
If you weren’t white or Asian how would her parents react?
The bed as a clean space is kind of a compelling argument.
The rice fluffing is a must for my wife. Everything else she is pretty cool with. But as we live in Australia, I think that's why she puts up more than I probably realise. I think if we lived in Japan, it might be a bit of a different story.
Interesting video though Paolo, thanks for sharing.
i am a malaysian, where my country is hot and humid all year round.shower twice, early morning and just before night falls..usually with cold tap water..it doesn't matter if the weather's sunny or if it was a monsoon season..
This was super helpful to understand differences and what to expect with the culture. Communication and compromise is such a great thing to point out
Is that a washer and dryer all in one machine? Do they have any separate dryer machines?
Maiko-san, can you do a similar presentation; but from the perspective of what compromises Japanese spouses make for their foreign-born/raised partners? 🤔
@Retsu Takahashi - That would be interesting to see in a way.
But also I'm sometimes wonder if people didn't (or haven't) live with each other before they got married, as some of the simple problems could have been solved at that stage.
So it is reading about other culture (sometimes necessary if your partner is from a different one), and simply talking and asking questions.
Way before the marriage, or even way before even talking about the marraige.
As in this case "Why Japanese Wives Hate Foreign Husbands" may as well be "Why Japanese Husbands Hate Foreign Wifes"...
My point is, that people should talk to each other more, be honest, and also read more in some cases (different cultures) - before going for the marriage and then discover all of that way too late in some cases.
While I was in the US Air Force, I had a Japanese G-F. I should have married her, as she was so good to me.
Japanese compromise to a foreigner? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That will be a 0 second video, because there won't be any compromise
Hearing about the clothes dryer made me laugh. The people who lived in the house we bought were an elderly couple, and the wife also didn't believe in drying clothes in the clothes dryer because of the expense. Why do that when you can hang the on the line outside for free? The family told us she used her clothes dryer to store her Tupperware in!
My wife hang dry in the summer. Natural drying plus kill bacteria with uv light.
@@naturalLin but detergents and hot water in washing machine already kills bacteria.
@@PuffOfSmoke well back than people can’t afford those things and people are generally frugal decades ago in China. It’s widely practiced habit
@@naturalLin People couldn't afford soap any detergents kills bacteria. I suppose if you just wash clothes with water then dry them but how would you remove the dirt. I guess you could use just fly ash and water pretty harsh though. Of course now in China fewer people have money due to the collapse in the economy due the housing bubble, so I can see it.
@@southcoastinventors6583 people used to use rocks or washboards to clean by the river or a bucket of water. This is really old school but they use wood sticks to beat the clothes.
I've always been someone who showers at night for the specific reason of wanting to feel clean before going to bed. For me I wash away "the stress of the day" and feel more relaxed afterwards. Depending on the season a cold shower in the summer or a warm one in the winter can help put you to sleep as you'll feel more comfortable with your body temp.
I'm American married to a Dutch woman. I'm surprised at how many cultural differences we've experienced. It's been a "thrill ride" for sure. You're very correct - compromise is the key to happiness in marriage. Loved the video - Thank You!
How are dutch women?
@@mth469 In general? Tall. ha (They are the tallest people on average.) They are very direct, and independent. I found it very refreshing, when I didn't find it frustrating. lol All in all, the cultural similarities lull you in, and the differences surprise you. I wouldn't trade the experience.
By independent you mean she didn't expect you to buy her love like is the strange norm in the USA?
Compromise is the key even if both are from the same street, not talking of opposite sides of the planet :)
Great video. We're a Filipino couple but some of these apply to us as well. No shower = no bed. No shoes past the doorway, we use house slippers and have spares for guests. We also peel off street clothes as soon as we get home. Fluffy rice for sure. The sit-down #1 thing is new but makes sense. I may start doing that. I might get points for it :))
Well some Philippines are mixed with Japan and on top of that you’re from Asia even know a lot of Philippines Consider them selves which pretty much they are Hispanic lol mix with other things ethnicity
@@daviddicks35 (sigh) Please learn to write cohesively. Rice is the staple crop of most of Asia, and removal of outdoor wear prior to entry into the home is common across cultures. It doesn't always have to be something introduced.
Furthermore, Filipinos are not Hispanic. Hardly any Hispanic person regards them as such. I would know. I'm Hispanic. They are Asian. Plain and simple. People like you exaggerate the mixed nature of the Philippines, pointing out every single foreign influence on Philippine society, and then completely ignoring the culture that is already indigenous to the country. It's incredibly reductive of a very complex and rich cultural identity. The Philippines has a very rich culture if you look at it holistically and not just "haha, there's Spanish here, American here, Japanese here."
@@romanr.301 (sigh) please stop being a know-it-all bully. Have a nice day 🙂
Paolo is a Filipino
@@romanr.301 You need to research the meaning of Hispanic first.
Interesting. I'm in the US, not Japanese and don't have any plans either to marry or move to Japan. But this kind of information gives you a lot of insight into the culture, which I enjoy learning about.
Making rice fluffy, leaving shoes out, and bathing before going to bed at all basic rules to follow in Brazil too. As for dryer machines, I've never seen anyone have one but I'm pretty sure it's because most people can't afford it... or don't really need it. everything dries quickly from spring to autumn unless it rains or you live in a cold town
To be honest, drying machines not really worth it to begin with. Because it will dry for free and natural drying actually gives an amazing smell to the things, especially if it's done outdoors. Also people should have enough clothes at home to not need the freshly washed ones instantly, or should not wait until they run out of clean clothes.
And here in europe if you have a drying machine then people will think that you're got americanized (and never in positive way).
@@tovarishchfeixiao A drying machine dries way faster than the air, it's a no contest. These people are just stuck in the past and refuse to modernise. Japan is incredibly stubborn in changing its old ways.
I can definitely relate to a lot of this, having been adopted (@ birth) by an American father and Japanese mother. Growing up on a farm/ranch in Wyoming, my mom was in a perpetual battle to keep things clean, but there was only so much she could do. Nighttime baths were definitely a thing, but I think that was more common in American culture back in the day, especially in rural areas. Hanging clothes outside (also more common in America historically) was a no-brainer in the hot, dry and windy Wyoming summers, but she’d use the dryer in the winter. Specific bowls weren’t an issue, as we only ate Asian dishes a quarter of the time.
I would be curious to see a comparison of these norms between older and newer Japanese. When my mother (1932-2019) came back from her father’s funeral in 1989, she said she barely recognized the younger generations of Japanese, and thought that they were as lazy and degenerate as us Americans. Accounting for the natural prejudices older people have for younger ones, it would still make for an interesting comparison.
Old japanese people are just as hypocrites like any older generación looking the younger ones, they Will always Bitter about their own life so they have to paint some of the awful bs they lived like it was better than now, "degenerates" says the culture of sexualizing childs and most of those degenerates are not young, are old/tradicional people that make the most disgusting things You could imagine while mantaining a facade of seriousness, discipline and prestige
My condolences regarding your mother.
I think this is the first time in my life that someone uses @ for its actual meaning "at"
American culture of hanging clothes outside? yeah bullshit, you will never see a modern clothes line in a house in USA they are heavily reliant on electricity and clothes dryers, my parents friends from Arizona still use a dryer in summer to dry clothes! it's crazy.
@@jasonswift7098 Many rural people still hang their clothes outside in the US. My cousins and Aunt still do. Their neighbors do.
I'm a Taiwanese and 25% mixed with Japanese. I have no problems with my foreign husband except number 4. It did bug me when he uses the bed without taking a shower. The bed sheet will become stinky 🤣 and I hated it especially when I just changed the sheet, but when he's sick I let him do whatever he wanted with the bed, I'd change the bed sheet often. 😁 My husband is for me to love and treasure, I want him to enjoy a good time with me. We seldom argue or conflict.
You are so sweet. 😊
What a woman
Such an understanding wife… I wish I could say the same about mine😅
why should you compromise for him though?
@@gwot to keep him! duh! lol!
About frozen food. A lot depends on the freezing temperature. At home we have 2 freezers even. One is -18°C, the other -25°C. Technically they are both 4 stars, but we use the -25°C one for long term freezing. -18°C is the bare minimum. Anyway, ** freezers exist, in that case, about 15 days is the recommented amount of time.
IDK about Japan, but if the most common type there is **, it makes a lot of sense to throw aways food after 15 days. Well, no, I mean consume it before that, throwing food away is always bad. :)
But if you happen to have a **** freezer at home, you can preserve food for months.
For all the rest, it makes all sense to me. I'm Italian, it looks like we have a lot in common with Japanese people. We can be quite picky about the right tools to use in the kitchen, and food preparation in general, so even if we might not be as specific with bowls or fluffing rice, I totally get the mindset. We're civilized people not Gordon Ramsey. :)
The only thing I find wierd is sitting when peeing but - for splash control - I can't argue with the logic of it.
I lived in Japan for 3 years and that is where I met my husband. I am American and he is Japanese. He moved from Japan to Ca and we have been married for almost 23 yrs. We follow none of these but probably because he just adapted to my ways of living LOL
That's a Very good Husband Ur really lucky ^^
Yeah but he a dude so you already looking at lower standards.
My Japanese from Japan husband I also feel has done the same! You never realize these little adjustments
It seems that guys are more willing to adapt in certain instances.
The video is about wives not husbands! Don't care your opinion Rebecca!
The rice bowl part is 100% understandable. I grew up where we had a Salad bowl that was only for salad and my dad would get in trouble for using it for making bread/cookies. I personally had a pot specifically for some foods for a while until I moved 3 times and it ended up in storage.
Well, I’ve been living in Japan and married to a Japanese woman for nearly 20 years now, and I have to say that Paolo really nailed this. Every point has been either experienced by one of my foreign friends or myself. I think I’ve had it easier than most since my wife also has the experience of living in Canada (where I’m from) so she understands ‘where I’m coming from’. (Literally).
One thing that wasn’t on the list was anything regarding child-raising. For my wife and I, probably the biggest friction in our marriage was in this area. Example: my wife was always furious with me when I let our kids go outside without a jacket in winter or an umbrella on a rainy day. From my cultural perspective, this is how children learn. If they get cold or wet, they remember for next time, and prepare accordingly. My wife felt that it was parents’ responsibility to chase your child down the street and force them to take an umbrella - whether they wanted to or not. The message, for me, being that our behavior is guided by familial or social expectations, rather than from individual understanding or will. Anyway, I don’t think we ever did reach a compromise on this point…but now our kids are older so it’s not as much of an issue. 😅
@@kajerlou Sounds like a reasonable approach.
In my case though, I drew the line at forcing my kids to put on a jacket, etc if they really didn’t want to. I would suggest it, and then be like, “well, you’re the one who’s going to be uncomfortable, not me…”.
Enter Mom. “PUT ON YOUR JACKET RIGHT NOW OR ELSE.” 😂
Totally.
@@kajerlou Its more complicated than that because they are constantly learning from observed behavior that they see their parents do as well other people that they interact with directly or indirectly (media), plus base instinct. If they observe you always using a umbrella or vice versa they will be more prone to emulate. Problem with the Japanese mentality and others people in general is appeal to authority or seniority above all else instead of emulating habits of perceived successfully people regardless of age/origin/position.
I feel like that's a dad thing. I get mad at my husband because he never dresses our toddler for the weather correctly. He does t think that far ahead
@@melzerzvlogz6027 ah, you may be right. 😆
4:55 This makes perfect sense to me. I'm doing it like this and I'm not from Japan.
I didn’t even realize that I had these things embedded into my life. As a half Japanese woman in America with my Dominican fiancé I definitely pushed a lot of these things onto him.
good for you
No. You are now only Dominican. Sincerely, Tokugawa.
Poor fellow
Wow, all these responses are from racist pigs
Poor fella
If your relationship is so weak that it would fall apart from such trivial things you really have no business being married.
What you consider trivial is normal here. What you consider normal in your country, might be a deal breaker for the rest of us.
@@OneIdeaTooMany Well whatever floats your boat. Or sinks it in this case. lol
AC is a must, even if I leave the number on high like 26-27 C. If that's not available, then a dehumidifier and a ceiling fan would also do the trick. I'm not sleeping in my tub of sweat where the bed is considered to be clean. That's like washing all the beddings every morning.
As someone who's dated several Japanese women, almost all of these resonate. The hardest to get used to was the bath and air conditioner one. I completely understand the logic of being clean before crawling into bed, but I always think it's important to be clean in the morning before wearing clothes and going to work. The difference is, Japanese don't believe that sleeping at night and sweating is dirty -- only leaving the home makes your body dirty. Perhaps it's because I'm a physician, but I'd rather deal with grass/dirt than sweat/bacteria. In reality, it's just a different priority as to when you want to be clean, but the best compromise is showering 2x a day!! Haha. And the A/C... ugh. As you said, they're more used to sleeping well while it's hot and humid -- I'm not. There are also some who believe that cold air will make them sick (pro tip - it doesn't... not washing your hands and touching your nose/eyes does).
lol my body runs extremely hot lol the ac would be non negotiable for me. i dont care about winter but in summer my =house is going to be a cool 70 period
I naturally produce heat...but I am accustomed to no AC.
Showers in the evening ease the sleep...and of course a quick shower before new clean clothes is also ok...
I might be terrible uninformed by saying this but as an asian lass myself I think it's generally okay for us to just shower only at night because we have less apocrine sweat glands lol crawl into clean sheets clean and exit just as clean I guess
@@plue5068 married couples sometimes do others things in bed but only sleep........ things that make you need a shower in the morning.
2x a day is bad for your skin, that's what my doctor tells me anyway. I have no fixed habit, sometimes I shower in the morning, sometimes in the evening
Interesting list. I think a lot of this probably depends on how exposed your wife has been to western/other culture as well. My wife is Japanese and we lived in Japan, but she also had spent a couple years in America. She loved AC, took showers in the morning and used the dryer like every day. but at the same time she always fluffed her rice, no shoes in the house, and wanted me to sit down while I pee'd lol.
So depending on the environment of your upbringing I guess.
bro being from a country is not a character. you cant take one person to generalize ALL people.
@@Heyangel95 technically it does because the environment the people that are around you to make the person that you are now.
@@mr.wescottx7129 then you must be raised in a very ignorant, uneducated, closed mindset, inexperienced and racist environment.
@@mr.wescottx7129 people like you foster the idea that skincolor is character. this is absolutely bs. You stop thinking about people as people, but as your fantasy filled with superficialities, countries and their politics. it grosses me out. You probably never even talked with a real Japanese before, or after your mindset every person in China must be a manipulated robot. People are somewhat influenced by their people around them to some point(parents), but this normally stops when your enter puberty. Except if you are low IQ, just like you dude. My cousin for instance is a tattoo artists who makes good money, and who smokes a lot of weed in mainland china. He is not part of any gang, but just a cool dude, who thinks exactly the same like any other person who enjoys life. He cant speak English & never left the country. after your logic, people like him should not exist. After your logic, east asian woman must be docile, weak and submissive beings, but I know none who are like that. No matter if they are Japanese, Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese. Even if they are from those countries and never left. Theyd probably beat the shit out of you for expecting that from them.
i’m amazed as none of these bother me:
- i already pee seated when at home
- i hate the AC unless i’m dying on the floor
- i already take showers before going to bed
- i rarely freeze food
- it sounds right to use every dish for what it as meant for
- i prefer to hang my clothes instead of using a dryer
- personally I don't pee seated I think its weird if your a dude. Just lift the toilet seat no one will know what business you do in the washroom. perhaps they just hate a dirty toilet seat.
- I luv the AC and would keep it on all the time if not for the cost of electricity. As such I only turn on when needed.
- I also like to take showers a lot once a day though people only recommend like 3 days a week or something. I do find it calming to take one before bed but I'm not picky when I take it. I typically take it upon waking because I like to be fresh going to work and it also helps to wake me up.
- I don't mind freezing food if you live a busy life and have choose to cook a big batch the prior night to save time. I try not to keep the fridge cluttered though and I prefer food fresh but sometimes life doesn't work out that way
- I'm flexible I will use dishes as they are intended provided I have enough dishes. In the army I used whatever will hold my food.
- I don't have a strong preference with regards to hanging clothes or using a drying. In my neighborhood though my clothes might get stolen though so I choose to use a dryer, also its faster typically. I like to be efficient with my time.
@@christopherdsuza7531 yea i believe they don’t like to have a dirty toilet seat and surroundings, neither do i, i’ve grown up and seen that peeing while standing gets the seat and the floor surrounding dirty so to save time and don’t have to clean, just sit, but this is when i’m at home. Everyone is different and they do as they please.
I've only peed sitting down when I'm taking a turd.
@@christopherdsuza7531 > no one will know what business you do in the washroom
So it shouldn't matter which lol
Pros:
- Almost eliminates cleaning toilet seat/floor entirely
- Don't have to aim or deal with middle of the night occasional misses
- Don't have to lower the seat after
Cons:
- Takes an extra few seconds, which you gain back anyways whenever you have to lower the seat for #2/politeness
Obviously above doesn't apply if in a public restroom with a urinal
@@christopherdsuza7531 Not weird peeing seated if one has penis piercing. LOL
I guess my Japanese wife and I are very flexible compared to a lot of things on this video. For example, we don't have rules for using certain kinds of dishes for certain kinds of foods. It's more of convenience for us. Regarding baths, most of the time, we do take baths in the evening, but not always, and we don't wash the bathtub after every use.
One thing that gets foreigners upset is when foreigners are suggested to give their salary to their wives and feel like the husband has to almost beg to get his earned money from his wife. My wife and I have separate bank accounts, but we know about each other's spending and bank balances. This was a well informative video. Thank you!
My wife and I always argue over the lack of dryers here in Japan. When we lived in America and used a dryer, the clothes came out all nice and fluffy warm and smelling nice due to a dryer sheet, meanwhile hanging the clothes outside doesn’t do any of that. Plus Japan had multiple rainy seasons where it will rain everyday for weeks. It could take days to dry a pair of jeans by hanging in the house. That can’t be good. Plus in America we had bath towels that lasted for years with no problem, but hanging them outside after a while, the towels discolor and become hard. Who knows what’s growing on the laundry by hanging it outside.
Not to mention what bugs or specks of dusts or leaves from the wind that blow on it
Strange.. I find that air-drying clothes and towels give a *much* nicer result than using a dryer. There's usually a nice breeze outside which will do wonders for the clothes. For the rainy days we have a shed to hang the clothes in, but if it's really difficult or if we have something large (like large blankets) we simply go over to the nearby coin laundry (Japan has them everywhere) and use the big dryers there.
Bird poop can happen too!🐦💩
However, especially if you don't have lits of bushes and hesges in the garden, it's low peobability and clothes dry very well, especially on a breezy spring or summer day and it has the extra advantage that it doesn't put condensation into the house.
Wonderful hints to be aware of when going to Japan especially for home stays. Please keep them coming. .. Cheers to you. ..
As a Mexican married to a Japanese woman and living in USA, I can relate everything ypu mentioned, so I would like to add my 2 cents...my wife washes all her clothes at the same time but I was taught in Mexico to wash color, pants, underwear and shirts in different loads. Also, the bowls have an owner, my wife has her own set of "bowls" that I can't use because it's hers. Apparently, she made me chose my bowls in the beginning so now I am stuck with a cream color bowl that I don't like. Finally, she made me take off my shoes in rhe entrance., so she force me to tell our visits to take off the shoes in the entrance.
I love her so muchoooo. We hope to visit Japan again this year or early next.
If you use the right detergent it shouldn't matter plus if someone is happy doing all the work I say let them ;)
I must learn from you. Thanks for the advice sir!
why would you wear outdoor shoes indoors?
why do americans do this?
no one outside of america does this, this isn't a japanese thing
@@NeostormXLMAX I have an answer for that. As born and raise in Mexico, I can assure that most families, in Mexico, dont take off shoes in the entrance as culture driven. In my family, my mom had a mop where we needed to clean our shoes and after that, you were free to walk barefoot or socks or with shoes in the house. In many mexican homes there was not really a rule to take off shoes so that's why for me, it was kinda different. I cant speak for American families but I always ask if it's fine to go in with my shoes because a lot of apartments/homes have carpets and it's very difficult to remove stains, mud, gum, dirt.
That's how we separate our clothes in the US too, mainly because underwear is more delicate and pants/jeans are more durable, so they get put on different types of washer cycles. Your wife is a little crazy with the bowls imo.
I can totally understand the taking a bath one. I’m not Japanese, and live in the U.S, but I almost always take a shower before bed, as it makes you sleep better when you’re clean.
I’m an American, from the South. Where I grew up it is common for people like myself to live near the woods or have big yards, so we took our boots or shoes off at the front porch and left them there. Piece of cake to adapt to taking off shoes at the entry way of the Japan home. However what took me by surprise was not being able to wash our clothes at the same time. My wife insists on man and woman clothes be washed separately. Wow, I didn’t know soap was so discerning.
I concur with everything you mentioned on your video, (actually lived it, however our daughter washes the bath before their use) thanks for the laugh. I have lots of American friends and we talk about getting put in the virtual dawg house often for breaking the Japanese rules. Haha. Thanks for the video.
I had really bad seasonal allergies as a kid so bringing all those allergens with me to sleep makes no sense. Funny enough, with work from home policies, I found out my Japanese wife has started skipping showers lol.
As for hanging your clothes vs the dryer, I actually installed clotheslines in the garage because it just saves so much on electricity, especially now. Hanging works so well on those giant comforters instead of running the dryer for 3 hours.
Hanging clothes makes allergies worse. You’d be better off getting solar panels or energy saving appliances.
@@CaliSaint You're probably right. I actually do have both solar panels and energy efficient appliances and I hang my clothes indoors (garage) but it's something to keep in mind regardless and not everyone might have the same access to these things either.
In pre-Covid days, I used to get together with some Japanese buddies at the local sento, and after the bath we'd each pop a beer open and spend some time talking about this and that. One of them asked how old my wife was, which is something I normally don't like talking about because common sense here says that a wife should be a few years younger or the same age as the husband. In my case, she was born in Dec. 1950, and I was born in Aug. 1953. We were married here in 1981 and are still together here.
My friend's eyes lit up, and he said, "なるほど！金のわらじをみつけた！" ("Naruhodo! Kin no waraji wo mitsuketa!" Really! So you've found the golden waraji!") Then he asked if I knew what that meant, and I answered I hope it's good or he's in some trouble. He answered it's VERY good! 金のわらじ are tie-on sandals made of woven rushes but in this case made of gold. In other words, "彼女の目には、間違いはありません。" ("Kanojo no me niha, machigai ha arimasen." In her eyes, you can do no wrong.)
I asked if he too found the golden sandals, and he answered he wasn't so lucky. He said he's constantly in the dog house on weekends for all sorts of infractions, mostly drinking. He was actually a year older than me, but he said he was terrified of having to retire and gave his mortgage as the main reason why, but I think it also comes down to not having found the golden sandals.
Это не здравый смысл
Been married to my wife (Japanese) for 24 years and don't have an issue with any of the things you mention. We go back and forth between USA and Japan several times each year. Have a home in Fujieda-Shizuoka.
My favorite part "I make this mistake all the time, so she just lives with it.". I guess Miko's compromise was to live with it. lol. Thanks for another great video!
I mean, where's he going to find a salsa bowl... What is a salsa bowl? Haha
Many of these points hold true also in Europe in several places, which is why I had no problem adapting to my fiancee's customs.
1. Sitting down in the toilet is not uncommon here outside public bathrooms (who have specialized ones for men) because of the same reason. Neither the man nor the woman wants to clean any splashes.
2. The AC at night is also not used since it increases dryiness in the air and at night it can be really annoying and it might leave you with a sore throat. Usually if the temperature at night is over 25ºC it's better to use a small fan that rotates with as much air circulation as possible. At winter, same thing as you stated, we just use thick layers in bed and when u wake up you can turn on a heater if needed. Where I live in winter it's down to -10ºC.
3. The rice one is not hard to get used to a couple of times.
4. Taking showers before bed, specially hot ones, is also common here. It helps you sleep better too.
5. Frozen meat here is custom to at most 1 month, but since food is really fresh in my area, it's a waste and you usually don't buy food for more than 4-5 days in advance.
6. I've never used a dryer in my life even when I was living the US. Clothes tend to deteriorate and last less, specially if they are made of delicate materials.
7. The bowls thing must be something more dependent on the person. My fiancee doesn't really care, although it's not like I use bowls for anything else.
Same.. though for 4, the Japanese style is shower or washing and *then* a proper bath. Not a western long tub, but a Japanese shorter, deeper tub. Hot. My wife prefer 42C, but for the sake of me she sets it to 41C (a bit lower in summer). It'll keep the temperature due to the automation, so when you're warm and sleepy, however long it takes, you get out, dry yourself, and then go to bed. And you'll be nice and warm all night, even if the bedroom is super cold in the winter (no heating, no insulation). Without the bath it's shaking with cold all night.
As for 6, the dryer.. I've never owned one, my parents used one in their apartment and the clothes are not nice coming out of it. I much prefer air drying (outside in Japan, except when it's raining too much, then it's in the shed, or inside in a specific dry room in my own country). However, sometimes we have way too much, or too big items or need to dry them quickly (say, large blankets), and in Japan you can find coin laundries around the corner and they'll have big dryers. So we use those occasionally.
Im Australian and a lot of these things resonate with me. Bath before bed, no shoes in the house, fluff the rice. I only use a dryer on the coldest / wettest days when the clothes just aren't drying. I didn't grow up with air con so even though i have air con now, i rarely use it and prefer to keep the windows and doors open.
Why not keep an indoors drying rack or whatever is it called? For those days.
@@tovarishchfeixiao Because some things just dont dry inside, Ive used inside racks for years and it does not work for everything nearly as good as outside
I’ve been married to an Asian woman for over 16 years (unfortunately cancer took her away) and I know some of these issues. But to be fair, with the dryer situation I was spot on with her. We always had a garden and a rotary dryer and I prefer still the rotary dryer (in winter cloth horse) over a dryer, the cloth just smells much nicer when hung in fresh sea air (living in a fisher village near the beach).
I am very sorry for your loss.
I'm married and we are both Australian. I can't speak to how "standard" these practices are but a lot on this list are things we've always done. Bathing/showering in the evening before bed, no shoes in the house, no getting on the bed or couch with dirty work clothes. I clean the bath before I use it because we have cats and I brush my hair in the bathroom so it's always fluffy by the time I take a bath anyway. We have also never owned a dryer, so are used to line drying our clothes, although my family did have one when I was still living at home. And we do have the AC on in summer so we can sleep because we have hot humid summers very similar to Japan (35° at night and 80-100% humidity) but we agree on that so it doesn't matter!
Oh and he bought me a rice cooker a few years ago and I'll never go back! They are the best and you can make so many things in them, even cakes.
I am a foreign husband to a Japanese wife and I do the "change into house clothes" thing myself. She never asked me to. But I have a couple of sets of very comfortable clothes, including trainers, shorts and T-shirts. As soon as I get home, I get out of my street clothes and into my house clothes. It's cleaner and more comfortable.
I do that as well. And I'm in Eastern Europe
@@r3dpuma
c.c.c.p ?
It makes sense. I never sit down anywhere in my house while wearing jeans. I sit in the bus and all the other places in them, and I am not bringing this onto the furniture.
@@pavelstaravoitau7106
Billy Jeans
Thanks for the laughs, you hit the nail right on the head with those examples. My Japanese wife and I are into our 45th year!!
wow congrats!
So as an American male living in America... I actually did most of these things when I lived alone!. Sitting when using the toilet was so much better I didn't have to guess where things were going lmao. I also would take my shoes off at my front door before going fully into the apartment and even started taking off most of my outer layers at the door during the summer time. I don't like people sitting on my bed in their outside clothes and I don't even like it on my chairs but have to compromise sometimes. I personally do not sit on any of my furniture with clothes that I've worn outside. I also still to this day do not use a dryer lol I like my clothes hanging around smelling amazing until they're dry. Washing before bed has become a routine of mine as well just feels a lot better. The food thing I didn't do though a bowl is a bowl lol.
Thank you! Finally someone let the real Japanese ways known! Of course some things are depends on the person or house hold. I just appreciate to prove that I am not a freak.
It will be so nice that if you feature the cleanliness is a big part in Japan.
I have witnessed too many times that visitors don’t know and appreciate it.
Thank you always for excellent videos and being accurate as close as possible! !Always enjoy them! ありがとね！
I love Japanese culture, the elegance and uniqueness in one country 🇯🇵
Going about my day
"Japanese women hate you"
Understandable, have a nice day.
WOW! I'm from Sweden and I do almost everything you spoke about 😳
But in business economics/organization theory which I have studied they say Swedes and Japanese are very alike.
🇸🇪🤜🤛🇯🇵
@@rodmyob
Only if you're a bad chess player
_from Ingmar Bergman's movie_ *the Seventh Seal* (original Swedish title: Det sjunde inseglet) (1957)
MachoMartyr: Who are you?
Death: I am Death.
MachoMartyr: Have you come for me?
Death: I have walked at your side for a long time now.
MachoMartyr: That I know.
Death: Are you prepared?
MachoMartyr: My body is afraid, but I am not.
[Death approaches MachoMartyr]
MachoMartyr: Wait a moment.
Death: You all say that. But I give no respite.
MachoMartyr: You play chess, do you not?
Death: How do you know that?
MachoMartyr: I've seen it in paintings, heard it in the songs.
Death: I really am a rather skilful chess player.
MachoMartyr: Even so, you can't be more skilful than me.
Death: Why do you want to play chess with me?
MachoMartyr: That is my business.
Death: You are right about that.
MachoMartyr: My condition is that I may live as long as I resist you. If I checkmate you, you set me free.
_[to decide who begins, MachoMartyr hides a white and black piece in each hand, Death chooses the hand that has the black piece]_
MachoMartyr: Black for you!
Death: It becomes me well
I don't see any compromise, this is AWESOME
Hi Paolo! I also live in Tokyo, married to a Japanese husband and everything on your list is spot on! 😂 Except for the frozen stuff. He is okay with them being over 2 weeks old. 😂 I’ve been here for 3 years and I’ve adjusted to all of these etiquette. 🤣
That miso soup with cabbage looks so good! Great video I didn’t know about the bowls. I sometimes use my Japanese tea bowl/cups for ice cream to not each too much :)
The bath one would be fine for me, I take night showers haha
Its great to wind down at the end of the day, and I also agree with not wanting to sleep when still dirty from the day and only clean yourself after sleeping without washing lol
I tend to sweat a lot during sleep and I can't go to work drenched in sweat so I prefer cleaning myself in the morning 😁
I'm not Japanese, but I like Fluffy rice too.
I was taught to wash the bathtub after every use and then to rinse it down to clear any dust that might have collect over the period of use. I buy meat only for the week.
I love the all in one machines too. It's less space taken up.
Great video Paola and Maiko! I'm married to a Japanese man and experienced some of these things too haha :D One thing that irks me the most though is the frequency of doing laundry 😅As someone from Belgium where the climate is very moderate, towels would be used 2-3 days, tops worn 1-2 days, trousers until they got dirty and all the rest was washed after 1 day. But my Japanese family throws towels into the washing machine after using it one time and it annoys me so much haha. We're doing the laundry every day and folding clothes and towels continuously in my opinion 😅 We compromised in the sense that I myself don't wash everything every day (towels for example) so we have at least a bit less laundry
Seriously? No wonder they don't have time for hobbies. They are always doing laundry. 🤣
In my country, making the rice fluffy is also a custom. And I do think the taste is more delicious that way. In addition, if you didn't fluff the rice, they sometimes becomes too wet and watery.
amazing, I married a Japanese wife without knowing it. so many of these issues apply to us as well. and my wife is Swedish lol
Swedes are similar to the Japanese in many ways that you notice when you get close to the culture
@@gringopapi6985 I've noticed that too and heck even the new apartments that is being built is partially designed from Japanese ones.
It's not exactly the same, but it's still quite close.
I am a single American woman living in Japan, but most of these points (except #6- I do not usually eat meat- if I do, it would be eaten the day I buy it- and #1 is irrelevant to me) are natural to me. I guess I have adapted, LOL. Sleep with the AC on? No way. Maybe a fan though. Even the bowls, I did not even realize I only use my rice bowls for rice! Of course, I fluff the rice, even though I am alone. I always wash the bath before using it. I love to hang my clothes out to dry, so I usually do not do laundry on rainy days! This was fun to watch.
Many of these same issues apply in cross-cultural relationships with women from other Asian countries. Being married for 50 years to a Malaysian, much of this sounded familiar. Compromise and understanding is key to make relationships last, particularly when East meets West!
I'm an ESL teacher and I speak to Japanese people everyday. This was eye-opening! As an American the thought of taking a shower at night is unfathomable! However.... as I grow older (50 years) I am on board! It helps me relax and destress after a long day and I do believe that your bed is your sanctuary, a calm, peaceful and clean place to be. Feels sooooooooooo good (!) to crawl into a nice, clean, soft, comfortable bed when you yourself are soft, clean, etc. Hilarious vid!
that’s exactly i take mine at night .
ehh i could get used to it.Back in high school i played 3 sports so I was always dirty in the evening coming home so i would shower at night to get clean and in the morning to wake up. sometimes there is nothing better then a morning shower know what i mean??
I could live comfortably with any of those rules.
On the frozen food topic:
The short answer is that foods will keep indefinitely in a frozen state. That's right - as long as your freezer is plugged in and functioning normally, frozen foods will never expire, go bad, or pose any health issues
Freezer burn is the foe of any frozen food. It creeps into packages, covers once-delicious foods with frost, and then sucks the moisture out of them. When thawed, foods that developed freezer burn look desiccated and limp. You can cook them, technically, but they will lack good flavor or texture.
My English wife (resident in Australia) never uses a drier, follows almost all the Japanese hygiene rules except the bath (which she sees as 'wallowing in your own dirt.' Like many Australians she will shower multiple times/day in hot weather. The big exception is frozen meat which occasionally is 'forgotten' in the Freezer for months. Dish washer is always used because it gets stuff cleaner than hand washing. But altogether UK/Oz quite similar to Japan
Not Japanese and not married to one here, but I have to agree that there's some truth to the "fluffy" rice thing! I've started doing it on my own and somehow it does taste better!
I'm a fan of taking showers at night, however as a Colombian we take showers in the morning as well because at night while you are sleeping you tend to sweat a lot and get dirty.
Same in the Philippines, we take a shower twice.
Same in Costa Rica, it's the usual thing to take a shower on mornings. There are people who shower on night, especially if they sweated a lot through the day.
Same here in Brazil... 2 showers a day are a common. People like to shower in the morning when it's too hot at night and there is a lot of sweat, and, shower again at night after a long day of work. There are some regions in Brazil that is so hot during the day (and eventually at night sometimes) that is known to some people to shower 3 times a day (but this is not a rule for all brazilians, since not all regions on the country are that hot).
2 showers.
At evening / night - to sleep well.
In the morning - to be fresh.
No way can I just wake up and go without showering. I would feel like Conan the Barbarian.