Bill Engvall - Dogs

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  • Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
  • "...He's about a quarter inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk!"
    Subscribe for more Bill Engvall: bit.ly/2ZqQ8Tw
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    Website - billengvall.com/
    About Bill Engvall
    Comedian Bill Engvall was part of the enormously successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour and has starred in a number of films, TV shows and sitcoms, including Blue Collar TV, Comedy Central, A Pair of Jokers, Evening at the Improv , The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Tonight Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. Some of Engvall's specials and albums include:
    - Just Sell Him For Parts (2016)
    - Them Idiots Whirled Tour (2012)
    - Aged and Confused (2009)
    - 15° Off Cool (2007)
    - Dorkfish (1998)
    - Here’s Your Sign (1996)
    Engvall's work has earned his numerous awards, including American Comedy Award for “Best Male Stand-up Comedian," #1 position on the Billboard Comedy Chart for Here's Your Sign, “Best Selling Comedy album," and a Grammy Award nomination for Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road.
    #BillEngvall
    Bill Engvall Comedy
    / @billengvallcomedy

Комментарии • 195

  • @chrismarciatetisindles5876
    @chrismarciatetisindles5876 Год назад +29

    Hes about a half inch from dragging his transmission on the ground. I'm dead 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Mozart1220
      @Mozart1220 4 месяца назад +1

      When my oldest Grandson was a baby he liked to crawl away naked from his Mom while she was changing his diaper on the floor. Her apartment had the heating grates on the floor and one day he crawled over one and dragged HIS "transmission". He could not move forward or back and just went WAAAAAAAHH!!!! Of course my daughter rescued him but not until we'd nearly fainted laughing. I hope he doesn't read this, because he's an adult and bigger than I am. LOL

  • @tastx3142
    @tastx3142 Год назад +27

    We had a German Shepherd Dog who also ate her poop. She was also a rescue we found who was young living in the nearby woods and emaciated with the worst case of ear infections that looked like they were packed with mud. Poor thing had been in some fights with her ears ragged and one flopping from broken cartilage. She didn’t know how to play but was a bit goofy. Loyal and the only one who ever presented me with a unique gift. Late one night that she brought in and proudly gently laid a bloody armadillo with a cracked shell at my feet. She was large, about 95 pounds and my neighbors would take her on runs when they were training for marathons feeling safer in our semi rural area. My 88 year old FIL fell and happened to land on my GSD which broke his fall and I heard her yelp and she never moved. She had been having some problems and had an appointment a few days later the vet and was filled with cancer. She was special.

  • @Cheryl_Haydon
    @Cheryl_Haydon Год назад +76

    I just love Bill's comedy. He can make any subject funny...with NO profanity!

  • @JR-vi4rl
    @JR-vi4rl Год назад +40

    I was lucky enough to see Bill in person. I'm so glad I went. He's a natural treasure.

    • @anitajinfla9762
      @anitajinfla9762 Год назад +5

      Yep. Awesome guy!
      I met him a LONG time ago before he made it. My company ( Beltone hearing aids ) had a Christmas party ( I believe the owner said he knew Bill... ) and it was at a restaurant here in Jacksonville FL. Old home in Riverside converted.
      Well, all I remember is that Bill was so hilarious... Gail was there too..And he mentioned she was pregnant at the time. Going to be a Father. 😊
      Afterwards, we sat across from each other at this long table. He kinda to my left, Gail on his right.
      I'd asked him to pass the salt shaker.... 😊
      He really is a down to earth guy and Gail.. Beautiful then as she is now.

  • @nicoswolf57
    @nicoswolf57 Год назад +43

    My GSD was crazy as hell to but she protected our house one night when someone tried to break in just after we moved. That crazy ass dog set up her perimeter out side the house in the three foot of snow until we made in home. Heck gave my husband a hard time to get her in the house after and I was six months pregnant. Then she spent the rest of the night pacing the inside like they would be back if she wasn’t laying with her head on my stomach listening to her little brother. Best damn dog may she rest in peace. 😢

  • @lovetherockies6080
    @lovetherockies6080 Год назад +128

    He is one of the best comedians ever. It's too bad he retired.

    • @willhorting5317
      @willhorting5317 Год назад +4

      When did he retire?

    • @bigbear4120
      @bigbear4120 Год назад +7

      @@willhorting5317 couple years back. He might do the odd gig here and there but his touring days are done.

    • @willhorting5317
      @willhorting5317 Год назад +2

      @@bigbear4120 I see.

    • @vlogsnstufflikethat
      @vlogsnstufflikethat Год назад +1

      he didn't retire yet. he's on one more tour

    • @robertchance4269
      @robertchance4269 Год назад +7

      He did just retire, ssoooooo 😔
      I just hope they produce a DVD of his last tour.

  • @Dr.Disney
    @Dr.Disney Год назад +64

    “Quarter inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk!”
    Cracks me up everytime

    • @SarafinaSummers
      @SarafinaSummers Год назад +7

      Just heard that for the first time and nearly died of laughter. I hurt like hell and I'm trying to listen to comedy to see if I feel better.

  • @carlaaustin6054
    @carlaaustin6054 Год назад +14

    He's good for his take on every day life. Dog poop who knew you could listen to someone discuss it and laugh. I didn't realize he had retired. Will miss him.

  • @ronrice2249
    @ronrice2249 Год назад +47

    I love Bill's comedy routines. They're always so down to earth.

  • @smalltownusa3124
    @smalltownusa3124 Год назад +39

    Never gets old. Always funny. One of the greatest pleasures of my life was getting to see Bill in concert. I left with sore sides and jaws from laughing so hard. Thanks, Bill!

  • @maryleonard6622
    @maryleonard6622 11 месяцев назад +12

    Love Bill Engvall, my favorite Comedian

  • @saragrant9749
    @saragrant9749 Год назад +17

    Quarter inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk… omg dying 🤣🤣

  • @marie2274
    @marie2274 Год назад +14

    He is so funny, saw him in Las Vegas, shortly after he was invited to join the Thunderbirds. My husband loved the story, I'm sure it's on RUclips. Sorry to hear he is retiring.

  • @ptaylor4923
    @ptaylor4923 Год назад +23

    I love this man. He is sooo much fun.

  • @survivrs
    @survivrs Год назад +91

    I just watched this entire video last night and laughed as hard as I did the first time. I'm so glad the 4 of them did all 3 "tours". Great comedians. It sucks that Bill is retiring, but he certainly has earned it. Fluffy is retiring also.

    • @NP148
      @NP148 Год назад +4

      When did they announce there retirement?

    • @killinglonliness88
      @killinglonliness88 Год назад +2

      Fluffy is far from retiring lmao.

    • @survivrs
      @survivrs Год назад

      @@killinglonliness88 ruclips.net/user/shortsZVz7JufP3ak?feature=share Whatever you say sunshine.

    • @What.The.Fluff.
      @What.The.Fluff. Год назад +5

      @@NP148 Haven't heard anything about Fluffy, but Bill released a retirement video on his YT channel on Dec 30.🥲

    • @NP148
      @NP148 Год назад +4

      @@What.The.Fluff. that's depressing. He's one of my favorite comedians

  • @laceylu5969
    @laceylu5969 Год назад +16

    That’s was freaking GREAT!
    He is one of the GREATS!

  • @user-hx8lz1vu5n
    @user-hx8lz1vu5n 7 месяцев назад +4

    "It will make his turd taste bad" 😆😆🤣😂 like it didnt already

  • @Girly92
    @Girly92 Год назад +3

    I have had Basset hounds all my married life! They are the best

  • @rogerosborn2143
    @rogerosborn2143 Год назад +3

    😂😂😂😂😂 sprinkled this on dog turds it make turd taste bad I lost

  • @jamespitra1645
    @jamespitra1645 Год назад +4

    My favorite dog is basset hounds. It is because of watching dukes of Hazzard as a kid. Whatever you think of the character Rosco on the show one good thing that can say is that he loved his basset hound flash.

  • @reallifeanswers9764
    @reallifeanswers9764 7 месяцев назад +6

    My brother had a winner dog, who hopped like rabbit when it rained cause he didn't want to get his transmission wet. 😂

  • @patrickwoltersen9531
    @patrickwoltersen9531 Год назад +181

    My basset hound got stuck on a speed bump. Almost peed laughing so hard. He was not amused.

  • @lindamichael7903
    @lindamichael7903 Год назад +13

    Enjoy listening to him he’s crazy

  • @Canalcoholic
    @Canalcoholic Год назад +11

    What kind of water? Any muddy puddle or rainwater out of a tree root. Fresh water out of a clean bowl - forget it.

  • @rosemarydoran9907
    @rosemarydoran9907 Год назад +60

    As a lifelong owner of wiener dogs and currently the owner of three, I love this bit! Makes me laugh every time I hear it!

  • @drewba7741
    @drewba7741 Год назад +4

    "It makes his poop taste bad."

  • @vincemucha8887
    @vincemucha8887 11 месяцев назад +4

    They are not just dogs…they are our children……!!!!!

  • @hutchinson54
    @hutchinson54 Год назад +32

    This guy is funny no matter what. Lol 😂

  • @WaynJul
    @WaynJul Год назад +2

    Ya killing me man ya killing me.

  • @SarafinaSummers
    @SarafinaSummers Год назад +4

    Dogs are permanent, manipulative two-year-olds. I have discovered this from having a couple of dogs.

  • @majoroldladyakamom6948
    @majoroldladyakamom6948 Год назад +18

    The best of the best:
    Bill Engvall. 👍🤣👍
    True story. My parents have a long-haired Chihuahua named Ferbie.
    When mom goes tee-tee in her restroom, so does the dog... in her crate, on the pottie pad.
    That's just flat-out wierd. 🤣
    We love you Mr. Engvall, from your eternal sister in Christ somewhere near Seattle.
    ⚘ 🙏 ❤ 🙏 ⚘

  • @christelvedo6281
    @christelvedo6281 Год назад +55

    For viewers out there that do not know, Bill Engvall never uses any profanity in his shows.

  • @artenthusiast3201
    @artenthusiast3201 Год назад +18

    You are my favorite comedian! Hope all is well!

  • @solidgamer1998
    @solidgamer1998 Год назад +6

    There goes my childhood hero sad he's retiring

  • @dwellinj1513
    @dwellinj1513 Год назад +11

    I’m so glad you are posting these videos! Thanks for the laughs!😊

  • @andrea4246
    @andrea4246 Год назад +5

    Needed this today . Lmao. Great stuff. 😊

  • @suzannahirwin7165
    @suzannahirwin7165 Год назад +3

    My low-slung Shih-tzu hiked his little leg on an elevated drain cover in the bitter cold and his little wee wee stuck to the drain when he peed. I laughed a while before I could fetch warm water to unstick him.

  • @nancyterrywhittemore2015
    @nancyterrywhittemore2015 Год назад +5

    Love Bill's humor!!!

  • @robertflegal1735
    @robertflegal1735 Год назад +14

    Amazing video. So funny I couldn't stop laughing. Need more!!!

  • @debbiebillings8192
    @debbiebillings8192 Год назад +5

    You absolutely crack me up

  • @buckaroobanzai8480
    @buckaroobanzai8480 Год назад +10

    Always the best, one of the Story's I love is the skydiving lesson.

  • @nidnoms3622
    @nidnoms3622 12 дней назад

    2:37 the facial expression with this joke is the selling point for me

  • @Txoutlawtrey
    @Txoutlawtrey Год назад +1

    I love daschunds

  • @roberthamilton9123
    @roberthamilton9123 Год назад +7

    I love ❤️ all these guys & have all there shows on d v d a pair of very funny awesome comedians 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @dwells37
    @dwells37 11 месяцев назад +1

    4:03 it looks like Daniel Whitney is sitting in the audience

  • @LaserRanger15
    @LaserRanger15 Год назад +2

    Basset's are the best

  • @kerrieventre2454
    @kerrieventre2454 Год назад +4

    Love your routines!!!

  • @shanesmith6941
    @shanesmith6941 Год назад +5

    I first saw him live in Lexington Ky back in 1990 I think for a New Years Eve show with Foxworthy and Engvall got more laughs. It was a sold-out show, and they were spectacular.

  • @justinkessler3092
    @justinkessler3092 Год назад +3

    1:03 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣

  • @PafMedic
    @PafMedic Год назад +3

    Once Again,You Do Not Disappoint😂Pgh EMS Thanks You🙏🏼❤️🌏

  • @LouisWritingSomethingCrazy
    @LouisWritingSomethingCrazy Год назад +82

    If you don't think dogs don't have a sense of what's nasty, just let them lick a lemon.

    • @ursaltydog
      @ursaltydog Год назад +6

      Mine actually likes lemons.. it just floored me..

    • @rcmodelr
      @rcmodelr Год назад +2

      What's wrong with lemons? Coming from someone who if he gets lemons, peals them and eats them just like most people peal and eat oranges 🍊.

    • @LouisWritingSomethingCrazy
      @LouisWritingSomethingCrazy Год назад

      @@rcmodelr they're not limes.

    • @ursaltydog
      @ursaltydog Год назад

      @@rcmodelr BC... before covid I couldn't do that RC, but now I can.. I still prefer limes though..

    • @juliebaker6969
      @juliebaker6969 Год назад

      @@rcmodelr yeah, me too.

  • @pamelah6431
    @pamelah6431 Год назад +1

    4:27 looks like Bill's wearing a fancy hat. :)

  • @janinecox256
    @janinecox256 Год назад +3

    He is so funny!

  • @aldomansueto2739
    @aldomansueto2739 Год назад +2

    Funny man.

  • @danielcalvert2700
    @danielcalvert2700 Год назад +2

    4:30 is that Larry The Cable Guy in the audience!?

  • @patriciamcintosh8799
    @patriciamcintosh8799 Год назад +2

    Love this 💞💞💞💞🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

  • @TheSweezer
    @TheSweezer Год назад +2

    Hes hilarious

  • @lloydrobinson7081
    @lloydrobinson7081 Год назад +3

    love those clips keep them coming

  • @awajiangirl
    @awajiangirl 13 дней назад

    Love your comedy

  • @GabrielleTollerson
    @GabrielleTollerson Год назад +3

    what a legend,LOL

  • @ADoneGooner
    @ADoneGooner 3 месяца назад

    This kinda funny caint be taught, Bill wuz just born that way.❤

  • @justinrolls9526
    @justinrolls9526 23 дня назад +1

    My at the time 18 month old, 90lb Great Pyrenees/ Golden Retriever mix damn near ate one of my cousins Mother's Day 2022. We'd only had him about 2 or 3 months at that point, and well, said cousin and her family were over to visit. We were standing in the yard bullshitting, and I don't remember exactly what I said, but it ended up with her faux-strangling me after a chase around the yard. I was laughing my ass off the whole time, but Ranger didn't get the joke. As soon as her hands were on me, that dog was locked on. The two of us didn't notice, but everyone else agreed he'd probably have tried tearing her up if I'd screamed. I love that dumbass.

  • @petewerner1494
    @petewerner1494 Год назад +3

    Laughter,,,,,,, Good medicine!

  • @BrandonCroker
    @BrandonCroker Год назад +5

    Dogs are the best

  • @TheBamaChad-W4CHD
    @TheBamaChad-W4CHD Год назад +2

    Engvall as funny as ever. Did anyone else think the laughter was over the top? It almost sounded like a prerecorded laugh track from the old sitcoms. Don't get me wrong. Bill is freaking hilarious but like the line about the weiner dog having eight feet of back and two inch legs was obviously funny but the fast bust a guy roaring crowd and immediately silence the second he starts talking. A well trained and extremely polite audience I guess lol

  • @biagiocozza8875
    @biagiocozza8875 Год назад +3

    Funny stuff Bill.

  • @jeanstout4035
    @jeanstout4035 Год назад +2

    😂😂😂😂 you rock

  • @APBAChatter
    @APBAChatter Год назад +1

    Makes the turds taste bad? Hey doc, is that the voice of experience?

  • @lindafurr2404
    @lindafurr2404 Год назад +1

    Merry Christmas, Bill & Gail.

  • @donnavargas1797
    @donnavargas1797 Год назад +1

    Funny!!

  • @karlaruter3221
    @karlaruter3221 Год назад +1

    Well done 👏✔

  • @kaya8632
    @kaya8632 5 месяцев назад

    So funny

  • @odysseusrex5908
    @odysseusrex5908 Год назад +1

    That was terrific. Which one of his specials is this? It's terrible he is retiring.

  • @christophgamingandmore
    @christophgamingandmore Год назад +12

    Absolutely hilarious

  • @matthewnachel7112
    @matthewnachel7112 Год назад +4

    Hey, I got one more thing I ask you a bill have you ever bought those house shoes with headlights? I keep wondering every time I hear this clip of you talk about it it makes me wonder if you did I wanna know two things number one do they have your face on them and number two do they have a here’s your sign symbol on them to? If not, I just gave you two good ideas here’s your sign bill.

  • @SpiritAscending
    @SpiritAscending Год назад +1

    🤣🤣🤣

  • @matthewnachel7112
    @matthewnachel7112 Год назад +3

    Hi Bill, happy Friday. Hey I got a comment on something and you were going to get a kick out of this so I’m walking back to work today and there’s this dog and it’s a wiener dog the first thing that popped into my head was you because your wife and you have beautiful dogs and their breeder wiener dogs and you made a funny comment. You said if his transmission was dragging on the ground or something like that with his short little legs, so I made the funny comment to her, and she laughed. I don’t know if she knew who Bill Engvall was, but she does now lol 😂. So thank you Bill for making me laugh and making a woman laugh by me saying what you said that one day thank you very much anyway really quickly. I really wish you were on RUclips like you used to be were you do you like treadmill talk with Bill you talk to your fans on RUclips for about an hour go on the treadmill and stuff like that answer peoples questions and all that so come on Bill get back on the treadmill, because we need some inspiration from Bill

  • @marygates8567
    @marygates8567 Год назад +1

    Gill Engvall I truly LOVE your funny!!!

  • @loveeveryone114
    @loveeveryone114 Год назад

    jessa the bearded lady digs this💖🤣

  • @kimolson4581
    @kimolson4581 Год назад +1

    ❤😂😅 hahaha

  • @ACEDIAMOND666
    @ACEDIAMOND666 Год назад +2

    My Weiner Dog, Tokyo, is 11 years old now....he's a good dog.

  • @nicidevine6670
    @nicidevine6670 Год назад +3

    Our dog does the same thing too lol 😂, but my husband pick that dog out and I always pick out the dog

  • @awajiangirl
    @awajiangirl 13 дней назад

    😄

  • @TerrySmith-rm7jz
    @TerrySmith-rm7jz 7 месяцев назад +1

    Terry. Smith

  • @julerobb1
    @julerobb1 Год назад +1

    Which tour is this one from?

  • @nicidevine6670
    @nicidevine6670 Год назад

    LMAO 🤣

  • @iduswelton9567
    @iduswelton9567 Год назад +1

    My last dog was a weird dog- SHE was a cross breed- mother was a mix breed deer hound an d father was a wolf ( out of north Arkansas ) - SHE was about 18" at the shoulder at about 60 pounds solid muscle and 4 colors ( brown, black, red, white ) and medium length coat- and GOLD eyes

    • @SarafinaSummers
      @SarafinaSummers Год назад

      My goddess I bet she was gorgeous! And sixty pounds is a bit heavier than my current wagbox.

  • @Poocho217
    @Poocho217 Год назад +1

    Huh. I actually laughed once during this one (when his hound licked his wife's face). I guess he CAN be funny! :)

    • @pamelah6431
      @pamelah6431 Год назад

      Maybe turn your sense of humor off then turn it on again. Check the batteries. Blow on it...

  • @johnmckown1267
    @johnmckown1267 Год назад +1

    My boss's dog regularly kills coyotes on his ranch. Along with lots of other animals. But he won't get near the feral hogs.

  • @Allan_aka_RocKITEman
    @Allan_aka_RocKITEman Год назад +1

    🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

  • @stephenertz430
    @stephenertz430 5 месяцев назад

    We had a Scottish terrier that went down the backyard one night below the wall and the coyote jumped the fence and talking to her or you could hear her scream dude two of our dogs Luke and breezy went down after that coyote Luke is a border collie mix and breezy was a pitbull lab mix but haven’t seen a coyote sense poor Scotty Scotty stare did get some ones but she was a tough little dog and survived and I missed stepped up pit lab mix good all breezy she was a loving dog still go

  • @ritamozley5463
    @ritamozley5463 Год назад

    😂💗🙏

  • @fieryphoenix586
    @fieryphoenix586 Год назад +1

    My family had a Chihuahua that ate her own poop. Nastiest thing she did. It was worse when she'd be laying on your chest..... and burped.

  • @kennethbledsoe3114
    @kennethbledsoe3114 Год назад +3

    Love Watching This Man!

  • @nicidevine6670
    @nicidevine6670 Год назад +1

    We have a Chic

  • @matthewnachel7112
    @matthewnachel7112 Год назад +1

    Well hello there Bill. Happy Tuesday to you. Hey I got something to ask you now back in my day shows how old I am getting ha ha ha remember when they used to have like Halloween in October and Thanksgiving in November and Christmas and December OK have you noticed maybe everybody has recent years Halloween comes around and what’s right next to Halloween by Christmas I’m talking September do you guys think it’s a little early I do but I wanna know what the world-famous bill Engvall thinks…

  • @adrienneanderson-smith2257
    @adrienneanderson-smith2257 5 месяцев назад +1

    Blue Collar? PLEASE vote RED!

  • @flood-ey4ek
    @flood-ey4ek Год назад

    My dog clean up the cow pòp out by the barn

    • @SarafinaSummers
      @SarafinaSummers Год назад

      That's not good for his tummy. Please use that for fertilizer.

  • @matthewnachel7112
    @matthewnachel7112 Год назад +5

    OK Bill you talk about bringing your dog to the vet well when I had my dog and what was so ironic was the vet keeps saying he needs to have his teeth cleaned? I was cool with that fine no big deal right so my dog gets his teeth cleaned. Everything’s good I ask for the bill I was ready to be like here. Is there a sign?. so they smelled the paper down on the table and say here here’s your bill a lot of money I’ll just say that I looked at them being as nice as I could be and say I didn’t say it but I was thinking it you know I was like well my dogs teeth are clean and no cavities or nothing so how about he gets it for a free course that didn’t work I didn’t say it, but I was thinking it right, so I was like fine so I paid the money. I looked at my dog and said to him you’re one expensive dog and he looked at me and barked and how old and twirled around as if to say you know a dad every dog owner knows those dogs are sent from heaven any animal really mainly dogs and cats and here’s what I think Bill I got a funny thing for you when they say it’s raining cats and dogs out there and you look out your window and you say no it’s not. I haven’t heard a dog bark or a cat meow fall out of the sky at all so it’s not raining cats and dogs. I wonder why that I wonder why or who that person may have been? That said that is it always got me thinking you know what I was going to send them as if I found out I would send them a here’s your sign because they need one for me to think about that way too long speaking along my messages getting too long. Sorry for rambling.

    • @LLewis-vu9qf
      @LLewis-vu9qf Год назад +1

      Matthew -- the length of your post wasn't a big problem but some punctuation would have been nice. 🥴😉

    • @johnstewie5720
      @johnstewie5720 Год назад

      @@LLewis-vu9qf Are you a teacher? Mrs Lewis from grammar??

    • @LLewis-vu9qf
      @LLewis-vu9qf Год назад +3

      @@johnstewie5720 -- No, I'm not a teacher. But I've always liked to read; punctuation helps me to follow what a writer is trying to convey.

    • @matthewnachel7112
      @matthewnachel7112 Год назад +3

      Yeah, well sorry when I get going as far as talking oh well, I’d rather say what I gotta say then forget

    • @SarafinaSummers
      @SarafinaSummers Год назад

      @@johnstewie5720 No, but some organization of your thoughts would have helped, as well, friend. Are you saying that the paper you set down was a metaphorical sign to the vet, and you didn't say it out loud, but you sure were thinking it? Are you saying that your dog did a little dance as if to say "you know it, dad!"?

  • @NativeWarrior88
    @NativeWarrior88 Год назад +2

    You should always brush your dog's teeth! Bad teeth can literally kill a dog!