I’m an addict and I know I could never handle being famous , I’ll have 5 years sober in 2 weeks , I’m still dealing with the aftermath of drug and alcohol abuse.. rest in peace Matthew perry you will be missed 😢💔
I’d like to take a moment to appreciate Dr Grande’s work ethic. It’s second to none. Thanks Doc Edit: a shame some people in the comments feel so aggrieved towards the praising of others
My Dad drank everyday and had done so everyday since he was a teenager The last thing I said to Dad was we don't want to find you on the couche. Guess what we found him on the couche. Like Dad I believe that Mathew Perry, his body just shut down. Such sadness really
@@dee2973 I think you are right. After 50 our bodies need to be taken care of, but unfo he already done too much damage to his. With respect to his passing, he was just as the drug user we see on the streets, only he had the money not to die on the sidewalk from drugs. Sad...
My husband used to be a comic. Every comedian we knew was either depressed or deeply troubled in some way. They all said their childhood and life had caused trauma that they coped with humor.
Growing up from a severely dysfunctional family, where alcohol was the major player with my parents, along with our mother's NPD, was a daily hell for my five siblings and I. My own survival technique was using humor to de-escalate the upcoming storms of parental rages. Robin William's death hit me hard, and from his own story I learned that he suffered with a life-long depression as well. The role that some of us had to play, as children, set us up for so many life struggles, but humor got me thru so much of it.
I was going to say. Funny people tend to battle a lot of inner demons. It’s horribly sad. A lot of them have addiction issues they have to overcome. Most comics tend to be sober. RIP Matthew, you may have passed young but you lived a full life and leave behind a legacy.
He not only struggled with addiction but he really battled it. He continued seeking help despite numerous setbacks and did not give up on himself. That must be extremely hard to do. May he find the peace he longed for.
My son in law lost his 20+ year struggle with addiction on 10-13-2023. He had been doing so well for the past few months, after a couple of near misses. This last time, no one got to him in time with Narcan. He leaves behind 3 daughters, the youngest being my 7 year old granddaughter. Take this shit seriously, folks, it can kill you.
Exactly! Right to the point. You can tell many of these u tubers are talking in circles to make the videos longer. I guess they get more money that way.
I was halfway through his book and feeling inspired by him, as a person in recovery myself. I found out my friend who took me to my first meeting passed away from an overdose Saturday evening as well. I'm feeling very sad and empty and disappointed today, but it reminded me why I need to stay on the path that I am. Thank you, Matthew, for giving me inspiration and motivation for a life without substances. I know you wanted to be remembered for the people that you helped--I am one of those people, and I will never forget. Thank you.
Prayers! I lost my children’s father to a over dose in march. It suck’s. I have to use the pain to fuel my own sobriety. Stay strong and keep going! We got this
Matty said if he ever had facial hair, you would know he was using. He was very well aware of the demons he was fighting and said he would give up all he had achieved to not be addicted. He had some bitterness towards his parents, the lack of attention and the bad example from his father for behaving as if alcohol was the best part of his day, but he still loved them very much. He had a good life full of interesting experiences and good friends, thank you for the inspiration, Matty!
Thank you for sharing that piece about his parents. I always say it starts with foundation and then formation. The root causes always intrigue me. Not to say that it is still chronic,genetic and lifestyle.
So true - how many times do we see this happen. He tried so valiantly to succeed in sobriety, that just shows you how difficult it can be 😢RIP Matthew ❤
One final payment? That means the only ones that pass are users. So, if you don’t use you’re never going to die? Utter nonsense! After he was vaxxed, his heart suffered issues and he said in an interview his heart stopped for 5 mins. This time, he’d been playing sport, then he passed with cardiac arrest. You can research this yourself. Look up his old interview. Hear it from his own words. Not from some bloke just speculating. He’s actually insulting Matthew and you! Matthew hasn’t even been gone for 48hrs and you all are being incredibly insulting. Hopefully the way this creator treats people will also be reflected with his final payment, as others will also be able to speculate about him. Fairs fair.
@@heatherstephens9295he didn’t die from a drug overdose. How incredible cruel and insulting can you be?! Hopefully the way you have treated matThew, the same is done to you on his passing. Then saying rip.
@@HGCUPCAKESWOW, how you can misconstrue what was said is insane and sad. Do some research on addiction and you will understand what Dr. Grande is saying.
Mathew Perry was also a playwright. He wrote and starred in “The End of Longing” a play about addiction and recovery. He was an amazing talent and a decent human being. He was an addict in recovery and was very open about it. RIP dear soul.
"The one where we all lost a Friend" 💔 Matthew was an incredibly talented actor, it's sad he couldn't find peace in his life. Thanks Dr. Grande for the graceful analysis.
Dr. Grande, I've commented a few times about how brilliant I think you are and how much I enjoy your spot-on analyses of different cases. On this one, I want to say how much I appreciated your compassion towards Perry. Without saying so outright, you made it clear that you're quite familiar with the characters on "Friends" and that Chandler is your favorite. Given your dry, witty and sometimes-sarcastic sense of humor, it's obvious why. Thank you for handling this case with so much empathy and such great insight into why so many of us loved Matthew Perry and thought of him as a friend despite not knowing him personally.
This feels personal because he is like the sweetest little brother you could ever have. The best guy next door. The nicest guy looking for a true love. His family and friends must be be devastated. Condolences to those who enjoyed him as part of their lives.
Completely agree! I’ve had a crush on him for YEARS and I loved the crew from “Friends” but he was my favorite. I honestly feel like I’ve lost a close friend. I’ve watched them every night for almost two decades and don’t think I missed an episode before the show ended. This isn’t just Chandler I’m crazy about, it’s Matty Perry… such a talented actor and comedian and an upfront honest sweet soul. This one hurts… bad. 💔
@velvetbees I guess you missed that moment he trashed fellow actors and wished Keanu Reeves was dead for no reason at all. You People should stop deffending drug addicts and narcissists.
Drugs and alcohol will mask the psychological problems and magnify the sociability of people thus allowing them to be more expressive. The entertainment industry is replete with addicts.
A+++ work here, Dr. Grande, with the most thoughtful and insightful look at Matthew Perry’s life and death. You put mainstream media attempts at this to shame. Your ending to this video was particularly well done. I always enjoy your bits of humor in your videos, but this one struck a particularly poignant note that I so appreciated given the subject. Thank you!
I believe that after all of the opiates and alcohol he ingested over his lifetime, his organs were compromised. He could have had a spontaneous heart attack, especially after the physical activity of 2 hours of pickleball and then relaxing in a hot tub. I hope he didn’t succumb to his addiction one more time. I hope he can now find the happiness he sought and rest in peace. 😔
He joins a long list of celebrity and show biz folk who battled demons and addiction. Even Johnny Carson was a freak they say. Fame doesn't eliminate anyone from self destruction.
Agreed. He had played pickleball earlier and was in good place .. A female friend said he was 100% sober the day before. Like you point out, the cumulative effects of 55 Vicodin a day and ton of alcohol, is difficult to measure ..Probably just worked the heart in hot tub too much after pickleball .No drugs found, so far no meth or. Fentanyl initially determined to be in his system. Always possible but sounds somewhat unlikely .
opioids don't harm any organs. alcohol is a different poison but you also have to consume vast amounts over decades for a health problem.addicts don't die from the substance but from the conditions they're forced to consume them in. since for example my country has a great needle exchange program and treats people with more respect our rates of HIV are close to zero where before it was a starting health crisis. give them clean tools and clean drugs in the quantities they obviously need them and there's absolutely no reason why anyone would get sick from it. i hope the USA can get to accepting therapy one day so your society doesn't have to watch hundreds of thousands of people suffer. it works everywhere else so it should work there too.
@@KaraLey98 You have to realize that he was not taking care of himself for a very long time. Between the drugs, alcohol and serious health issues and surgeries, his body paid the price.
@@roseaduke8835 Regrettably, one of the least Christ-like comments I’ve read, especially the “Oh well.” Regrettable, but not surprising, providing my assumption about your beliefs is true. (I stand corrected if they are not.)
@@IWillHaveThePastaThanks You've made an assumption & jumped to a conclusion, yet made no point, since your ability to regret & lack of surprise are entirely your own, having no bearing on the trueness of my statement. To you, I'd have sounded more like the christ of your imagination if I'd said "RIP Matthew Perry", I suppose. Maybe you should go & learn about the usages of the phrase "Oh well" &, study the biblical scriptures to know about who is Christ &, thereby, what is Christ-like or not.
Totally heartbroken when I heard the news of his passing. His character Chandler was my favorite on Friends. It seemed like he was getting his life turned around after years substance abuse. Rest in peace Matthew. Gone way too soon at 54. Thank you for covering this Doc 😢
I don't know how you manage to get your content out so quickly. My theory is that you have an identical twin. Thank you for discussing the issue of substance use and depression. Having worked at a very high-end drug rehab center, I was shocked at how many people in the entertainment industry struggle with these issues. I've come to believe that substance use is really about not feeling the agony of emotional pain.
I gather that he died alone in his fancy Hollywood home. A sad ending. Lots of big stars are miserable because they deal with crap people. Gold diggers hangers on agents trying to steal from them.
People think that money is the secret to happiness. Although poverty is a bitch and needs have to be met, happiness is a feeling of contentment that comes from within.
It's wild to me that he was able to remember his lines and hit his mark being drunk and on pills but he said seasons 3 - 6 was a blur. I think his comedic gift was bordering on genius because those were some of the best seasons. Time to rewatch Friends.
I really appreciate your video, Dr. Grande. I can't find the right words at this time, but your kindness in spotlighting Matthew Perry's many positive aspects is comforting. RIP Matthew Perry. Thank you, Dr. Grande. 🙏🏾
Where was this kind generosity in the case of Paul Reubens? With him, you seemed to be settling a score of some kind. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's puzzled.
This is so terribly sad. Nobody struggled harder against addiction than Matt Perry. He tried so hard and had so much to give, so much talent. It's just so sad.
The guy is nothing more than a drug addict and a drunk, why do you make him out to be some sort of hero? People struggle against cancer, they indulge in drug abuse and alcohol abuse
One of the key elements in a healthy recovery for me is learning to relax , take it easy . I made huge progress when I stopped struggling to 'fix' me . I don't have that kind of power . Step 1 work .
You brought tears to my eyes, Dr. Grande! Matthew was amazing, handsome, personable...to witness his decline due to substance abuse was really sad and made me angry... I hate drugs! RIP wonderful Matthew, you will truly be remembered and missed! Gone way too soon!
I've been moderately poor my whole life, having maybe 1 friend. I don't have many things that make people happy, career, car, home. But I've always woke up happy and looking for what little positive I can find in the day. Matt's life shows me fame and fortune can never make you complete.
A very touching reflection of the life and experiences of an actor who had an impact on millions of people across the world. Amazingly articulated Dr. Grande, thank you.
Mathew was a huge part of the success of "Friends." He and Schwimmer were my favorite actors on the show, because I identified most closely with their characters of Ross and Chandler. But like you say, ONLY Perry could've played Chandler Bing. RIP, Mathew; I hope you've found peace, my friend. 💐
Oh, you too. That's funny because I've had the different people and even the same individuals tell me I remind them of one or both of those two characters myself; one or the other, never Joey or anyone else. Perhaps, that's part of the reason we're meeting like this . . . on the channel of a therapist. 😝
@sheilagravely5621 I know...I came home from shopping and my teen greeted me with the news. Yeah, I cried. She asked why I was that upset...I was an og friends fan. In my 20's I'd arrange my dating life around watching it...although most of the time I had the vcr programmed to record it just in case. I almost never missed a new episode, and of course I've watched them all many times now. Chandler was my favourite. Matthew Perry was perfect for the role. I was really rooting for him to be free of drugs forever.
I loved his book. It was so moving. I hope that he is at peace now and happy that he was able to share his story and voice with the world. Rest in peace, Matthew. ❤️
Thank you for covering this. I was shocked and saddened to hear of Mathew Perry's sudden passing. I know what it's like to struggle with substance abuse, it took me 15 plus years and almost died from overdosing. We always lose great, talented people way too soon, as they say "only the good die young" and 54 is too young to leave the world. I hope that Matthew's family and friends can heal from this. I know the sadness will never go away, but let's remember how much he made so many people laugh. R.I.P. Matthew.
I dont drink or take substances of any kind so i cant relate to how ppl would not stop their addictions. Im do know however that drunks and user are selfish and disrupt and destroy the homes and lives of ever around them.
@@acdcmiami self medication against hardship, fear, anxiety, abuse victims, shame, sorrow, endless emptiness, and becoming a slave under something that takes control over this tormented soul. Nobody does it out of spite to harm those around them. I have lost friends. They were sensitive, beautiful souls. May they rest in peace. Empathy? Enlightment? Compassion? Edit: seems important to add Im not a user either
@@acdcmiami I don't drink or take substances either but tbh I stayed away from them bcs I had the feeling it would be extea difficult for me to stop. I think one part of the issue is that they make you feel a certain way but they also change how you feel when you're not under their influence. So when you don't consume them your state is still altered. Also people use them to cope with various difficulties and oftentimes without even realizing that they even have those difficulties or that they're that bad or that that's the reason why they keep going back to the substances. It sounds silly but it does seem many people go through this. It's true that this abuse is disruptive to their lives and the lives of the people around them. But it's difficult to understand how these substances really influence people. The more they use it and the less they understand what's going on in their psyché... the weaker their willpower is. That's why they really need a lot of external help because in many cases they themselves don't know what is going on and how to succesfully quit, heal and prevent relapses. I don't consume any substances either but I'm interested in the topic. I hope this was useful insight to you.
@@essennagerry another important aspect is the money being made on the one addicted, by doctor or dealer, is the huge income that is being made for medical industry or syndicate - they dont care about lifes of victims or their families, its about money. And its sad and terrible!
Dr. Grande I very much appreciated your kind, thought out words on Matthew Perry. It was a beautiful video! Thank you for all of us who are grieving his loss. You brought tears to my eyes. Truly compassionate! 😢
Perfect Analysis, Dr. Grande! You hit this one out of the park. I devoured Matthew's book when it was released last year. I have been sober since 2012. I also am a retired counselor. In my opinion, you checked every box in your analysis of the life and death of a true Hollywood Star.
Really enjoyed this tribute. Very respectful and sensitive. I particularly liked 'substance use is a greedy conspirator who frequently demands one final payment'. Incredibly sad that his life ended this way. He was such a talented and generous human being.
Addiction is not your friend. Thank you Dr. Grande for giving voice to Matthew’s depression and anxiety, which can haunt you longer than the use of any substances.
This breaks my heart. I loved him so much as Chandler but even more so, I loved him as himself. As a fellow recovering addict, I rooted for him and respected how public he made his struggle. He helped me more than he'll ever know. I love and miss you Matthew. RIP MATTHEW PERRY ❤
That was sensitively done thank you. As both a huge Friends fan and the sister of a wonderful brother who we lost to substance abuse, I think this was really well done
Dr. grande I really appreciate your excellent analysis of Matthew Perry. I also enjoy your soft voice, as most RUclips channels lack a host with a soothing voice, which is so much easier to listen to. Thank you! Blessings
A strong reminder to everyone substance abuse often starts from just having one drink of alcohol. Sad that Matthew Perry was fighting his hidden demons for his entire adult life. His audio book that he spoke on is an incredible witness to his battle. Yet another lesson that fame and money can often bring you no happiness and in fact can contribute to a very early death
Nothing hidden about it, except in the 90's. He's been very open about it. I'm sure it played a role in his death. People don't just drown in their hot tub for no reason.
I find the most understandable part of this tribute to be that always seeking laughter from an unknown audience was what caused his greatest pain and suffering. Life is rarely full of humor, and seeking acceptance for something so foreign would be nearly impossible. Substances often give us the sense that we’re winning, when reality is the opposite. People who have never taken a pill, or a drink, and felt for the first time that they are not a failure, can’t comprehend why someone doesn’t just not take the pill when their lives are crumbling around them. Feeling for once that you are not a burden or a failure is a powerful emotion. Admitting one’s vulnerability is not as simple for many. If you’ve never struggled with that level of physical or emotional pressure, be thankful and humble, not hateful. Compassion is a powerful gift for all living beings.
Since I didn't know about Matthew Perry's passing, I so appreciate you, Dr. Grande! With just the right amount of discretion, compassion and very few jokes, the news was received in bite - sized doses, very palatable and your kind words were much appreciated!!!! Again, you rock, Dr. Grande!!!
Thank you for you kind review and analysis, Doc. It’s tragic that Matthew died so young and apparently, alone. We can all pray the cause that led to the drowning was not substance related or a relapse. After trying so hard to fight the battle of addiction, his death would be even more devastating if he lost his battle.
Touching tribute, doc. I wasn't a fan of "Friends", and I didn't really follow Matthew Perry's career, but he seemed like a pretty good, though troubled, guy. Rest in peace, Mr. Perry.
He lived in my hometown of Ottawa, Ontario, and my friends went to high school with him at Lisgar Collegiate. So this is sad for me on a more personal level - RIP Mathew 😢
Ottawa here as well. I thought he also went to Ashbury with Trudeau as well? Ah, Lisgar! Such a rich history at that school. Matthew never forgot Ottawa. Last year, he was here with his Sens Jersey.
Sounds like his body finally just gave out. None of us are here forever. He made and will continue to make many laugh and smile. His story and openness of his struggles with addiction will help many also.
I couldn't believe I was seeing a Mathew Perry spot by Dr. Grande already ! Unbelievable how the good Doctor is able to articulate such a touching commentary within hours of Mathews death. Thank You so much....I'm touched by your ability to deliver with compassion.
Thank you Dr Grande for your empathetic and compassionate analysis of Matthew Perry. He was my favorite on the show as I identified with him most. It’s heartbreaking he died so young.
Thank you Dr Grande for this beautiful compassionate non-judgemetal description of a troubled and brilliant soul. I always felt drawn to Matthew Perry whenever I watched him, either in Friends or in one of his movies. I always felt that I wanted to put my arms around him, hug him tight. Even though I've been fortunate in never having addictions of any kind, I somehow had an affinity with him re his struggles. I loved that his optimism kept him fighting to overcome his demons. May he now rest in the arms of the angels, and find the peace he was looking for so desperately here on earth. 😢 RIP Chandler Bing, my favourite friend ❤ you will be missed. 😢
Thank you for your sensitivity in discussing Mr Perry’s life and tragic death. I didn’t watch the show that much but was familiar with the show. I have close family members who fought substance abuse and the two most important ones (to me) were successful in overcoming their addictions and for that I am hugely grateful. To me, Mr Perry’s death is tragic and saddening, regardless of what happened and I believe that his struggles and death have definitely served to help others who are fighting substance abuse. Rest in Peace Matthew…..you are a shining star in the Heavens above us all. 💔💫💔
He worked so hard to be healthy and well..... he really kept trying and trying, never giving up!!! Matthew Perry, you will always be "Mattman" to your grateful fans!!! Rest in Peace!!! You will be missed!!! 😢❤🙏
This was such a thoughtful, heartbreaking analysis of Matthew Perry’s career and his struggles with addiction. I rewatched it several times-felt close to home. It made me tear up. Thank you, Dr Grande.
“I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” Chandler Bing In the end, Mathew Perry did want to give advice and find meaning in his struggles. Great tribute Dr. G. I love how you expressed appreciation for his creation of Chandler. I know that his sarcastic Witt made him a character after my heart
Thank you so much for speaking about Matthew Perry with such sensitivity. Your grace is especially appreciated when talking about someone most of us never met, but considered a friend.
Thank you for covering this and the way you covered it. He really battled addiction, and the whole time, entertained millions of people with his acting. This is very sad. You covered his life and career beautifully.
Thank you. This reminds us all to hold so much more compassion for those who struggle so much through their addictions. Love the person deep inside the body, deep behind those eyes, you find them there in a dark place. Those who can support, are such a light and comfort. That's all anyone would ask, is for loving compassion and care. RIP Mathew...
Agree 1000% other night while watching On Patrol tv show (cameras follow law enforce in real time), police were called to scene of 'minor' car accident - car lost control and ran up over sidewalk and hit fence. Inside car was young woman who initially was unconscious. They had to break the windows to get her out and administer first aid, etc. She came to rather quickly and I don't believe they used Narcan. They found 2 canisters of compressed air. She was impaired. She refused transport to hospital and at-scene first aid from EMTs. Cop performed sobriety test I believe particular to huffing (?correct term?) vs etoh and Rx - or so I thought I heard them describe test specific. She failed test. They charged her with dui and took her away. And what she and we also need for her is treatment. In the moment, she probably would refuse. I understand why society has dui for sure. For the using and addiction. -treatment & compassion.
Wow, you find them there in a dark place. As an addict, that is the most compassionate and descriptive insight into an addict I have ever heard. It's where I live, in a dark place. It's safer than living in the real world for us. I had a doctor friend of 30 years who counseled me. He had a terrible addiction to everything. A kind, gentle man of great knowledge. Almost like if he knew everything about neurotransmitters, he could analyze himself out of addiction. On a Thursday I met with him. He kept looking at the floor, refusing to make eye contact. Suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "Why do people commit suicide?" 'I don't know, I guess they just don't care anymore'. "No, it's because they care too much". The following Tuesday he was dead of a massive overdose. He had been found out and turned into the medical board. Well, you can say, didn't you see any red flags? His entire life was a red flag. His dark place had become exposed and he had to flee. For years I blamed myself for not seeing or sensing the impact of our last conversation. A bit unusual, sure. But in 30 years we had many unusual conversations. Where does the addict go when he can't go to his dark place?
Wonderful analysis, Dr. Grande. Clinical yet compassionate. I’m in recovery myself now for 34 years. Often the abuse we put ourselves through in active addiction takes a huge physical toll later in life. Prayers to everyone struggling to stay clean just for today. 💗🙏🏻💗🙏🏻💗
Thank you for not making sarcastic remarks about Matthew Perry’s addiction problems and death. What you said was really sensitive and profound. He was such a complex but ultimately good person who wanted to help others. I feel like no other cast members on Friends cared about him and this was apparent when he was asked who had kept in touch with him and he said no one. I hope he’s in his happy place now, making everyone in heaven laugh and helping those in need up there. ❤
Your statement should be read out to every 12-step recovery group. I'm an addict with 8+ years clean and yes, some of the consequences are lifelong. The devil will have his due and the piper expects to be paid. Again and again. My drug use lasted about 4 years, but I did 10 years worth of damage. I lost my first husband, my house, my occupation as a nurse, and many friends and family. Nothing I can do will ever bring things back to the way they were, and there's some relationships that cannot ever be restored. Trust and respect are everything. If I did that much damage in 4 years, I can't imagine what decades would do. Rest in peace to Matthew Perry and I hope he finds the peace he sought in life in the hereafter.
I interviewed Perry last year when his book was published. A very sweet, kind and soft-spoken guy, and of course very funny. He had me laughing so hard at one point, I almost spit my coffee on him (without missing a beat, he told me in a mock serious tone: "Whoah, there, Rob -- have you got a drinking problem you didn't warn me about?" I remember thinking that his comedic timing was still pitch perfect.) But I also recall being struck by that sadness and melancholy Dr. Grande discussed. He would take these long, reflective pauses when talking about his past, especially when it came to his time on "Friends", and when he laughed, it often seemed forced, like there was an overwhelming feeling of regret or mournfulness that he was trying to hide, but couldn't quite pull off. It's often the sweetest, most and sensitive and thoughtful among those with substance abuse disorder who have the hardest time getting clean. I suspect it's because they're so caring, helpful and considerate that they don't want to "bother" anyone with their problems. The sad irony is that those are the ones whose friends and family WANT to help the most -- they don't ever think of it as a bother at all. I hope he has found the peace in death that seemed to allude him so much of the time in life.
Very well put Dr. Grande. I myself have been clean and sober for 29 years. I have witnessed the disease of addiction kill members of my fellowship both in two ways. Overdosing or drinking themselves to death or succumbing to their mental illness and not seeking professional help from a person like yourself. Be well…… everyone
I was shocked when I read the news on instagram. Chandler was my favorite character from Friends, he was the funniest and most likable one. Friends is my comfort show, when I'm feeling down I watch an episode and I feel better. I didnt know him personally, but I felt this loss like he was a close friend of mine. Rest in Peace, Mattie ❤
The end was sweet. A friend for many❤ i never watched the show nor know about them but i appreciate learning about him. May his soul Rest In TOTAL Peace 🙏 🕊 💐
This is especially heartbreaking because Matthew Perry had been sober for the past few years. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and loved ones. Rest in peace Matthew. 🙌🏽
Bravo Doctor Grande. You explained the evils of drug addiction so well. It's sad that M. Perry has passed. He was a beautiful Man, talented, but he was a fragile Man. RIP Mathew Perry.
Kind words? We must of heard a different video. Speculating for content on someone’s death, less than 48hrs after their passing, suggesting it’s something it’s not is incredible insensitive. Not a lot of empathy there for Matthew, his family, friends and fans. Just sensationalism to create a RUclips video. Hopefully the same will be done to those that have participated in this. Matthew can’t now defend himself. Not that it matters to the creator. He’s just speculating. Yuck!
This was a touching tribute, handled with impeccable sensitivity. I admire how many times Matthew kept trying to recover. I lost my Mum two years ago after an almost 40 year span of abusing alcohol and painkillers. There were many times when I have been sat besides her in intensive care before then. Addiction has a grip like no other and it doesn't discriminate. Rest in peace xx 🙏🕊
I battled opiate addiction for many years. Your opinion on the subject was spot on. Thankfully I've been clean for a lot longer than I was using but it will always be an option for me to return. He did post some strange stuff on Instagram in the week prior to his death. Some of his followers were asking him if he was ok? It might be nothing but the final post was him soaking in his hot tub by the look of it. The whole thing is very sad. A very respectful analysis. ❤
He also posted a video of some berries that looked like night shade and wrote "that's all I ate today". All his last posts sound like cries for help. It's so sad that noone realized it in time
His autobiography is incredible, I never saw friends or any if his movies, just checked it out of curiosity and what an unbelievable story his life journey. Blessings to him and his family. May he rest in peace
If you can, watch Friends, even just one episode. It's hilarious and Matthew's character is brilliant, especially the dynamic between him and Matt LeBlanc's character (Joey).
I've read in the tributes and hear on the news that his book was very very good. I wish he would have checked into writing more. I feel he would have found something of what he felt missing in his life with another talent being freed up
Thank you Todd for this superb, well spoken, analysis of our Friend Matthew Perry's life. I will not need to read a single additional tribute because you have said it all. Our thoughts are with Matthews fellow Friends actors today and with his Family and those closest to him. Todd, you have become my "go to" place of peace, tranquility and realistic, honest commentary on all subjects covered by you.
Before Matthew reached the age of one, his parents divorced. Assuming people don't just get divorced on a whim, problems must have been bubbling underneath the surface for a while. Babies soak up stress both inside and outside the womb and they cannot feel secure in a tense environment with a stressed mother and father, no matter how loving or well-intentioned the parents are. The neural circuitry being laid down during this most crucial time of growth is without a doubt compromised. Clearly not much had gotten better if Matthew felt compelled to ease his pain with alcohol when he was just 14. Childhood trauma can seriously mess you up for life... Psychotherapy twice a week for 30 years, 6,000 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, detoxed 65 times, rehab 15 times. Nobody can accuse him of not trying.
I’m an addict and I know I could never handle being famous , I’ll have 5 years sober in 2 weeks , I’m still dealing with the aftermath of drug and alcohol abuse.. rest in peace Matthew perry you will be missed 😢💔
Congratulations on your sobriety! Well done!
Amazing. Congrats.
5 Years, that is fantastic. Lot's of hard work there, well done!
Congrats on your sobriety!!!🎉
Look after yourself. You have done magnificent work. I wish for you safety and contentment.
I’d like to take a moment to appreciate Dr Grande’s work ethic. It’s second to none. Thanks Doc
Edit: a shame some people in the comments feel so aggrieved towards the praising of others
I hope he sees his family enough ❤
My Dad drank everyday and had done so everyday since he was a teenager
The last thing I said to Dad was we don't want to find you on the couche. Guess what we found him on the couche.
Like Dad I believe that Mathew Perry, his body just shut down. Such sadness really
@@dee2973 I’m so sorry 😞
Work ethic? What about the ethics of analyzing a man who hasn’t been dead for 24 hrs just for clicks?
@@dee2973 I think you are right. After 50 our bodies need to be taken care of, but unfo he already done too much damage to his. With respect to his passing, he was just as the drug user we see on the streets, only he had the money not to die on the sidewalk from drugs. Sad...
My husband used to be a comic. Every comedian we knew was either depressed or deeply troubled in some way. They all said their childhood and life had caused trauma that they coped with humor.
It is amazing how many comedians have that dark side. The old podcast Mental Illness Happy Hour interviewed hundreds of them.
Growing up from a severely dysfunctional family, where alcohol was the major player with my parents, along with our mother's NPD, was a daily hell for my five siblings and I. My own survival technique was using humor to de-escalate the upcoming storms of parental rages.
Robin William's death hit me hard, and from his own story I learned that he suffered with a life-long depression as well. The role that some of us had to play, as children, set us up for so many life struggles, but humor got me thru so much of it.
I was going to say. Funny people tend to battle a lot of inner demons. It’s horribly sad. A lot of them have addiction issues they have to overcome. Most comics tend to be sober. RIP Matthew, you may have passed young but you lived a full life and leave behind a legacy.
@@nuggetsofchikenMost comics tend to be sober?
Maybe?
He not only struggled with addiction but he really battled it. He continued seeking help despite numerous setbacks and did not give up on himself. That must be extremely hard to do. May he find the peace he longed for.
He was sober no substances played into his death
Not battling is also an option.
The “ learn to love your addiction “ option…those who can pull it off are special people (to me)
@@Amy.Munson34 depression
@@Amy.Munson34yes but are you really of the opinion that decades of pain killer addiction and Alcoholism didn’t lead to his early death?
My son in law lost his 20+ year struggle with addiction on 10-13-2023. He had been doing so well for the past few months, after a couple of near misses. This last time, no one got to him in time with Narcan. He leaves behind 3 daughters, the youngest being my 7 year old granddaughter. Take this shit seriously, folks, it can kill you.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and his family. I've had to give narcan to a loved one twice. Addiction is so insidious. Keeping you all in my prayers. ❤
Wow!! He died just a few days ago after a 20+ year struggle with addiction. Sorry for your loss. I'm sure he fought hard.
I'm so sorry for your loss and pain 💔 Sending you and your family love and prayers xx 🙏🕊💕
Such a sad story ❤
So sorry 😢.
Thank you Dr. Grande for this lovely, sympathetic & articulate analysis of Mathew Perry. ❤
Yes, agreed. Thank you ❤
Yes, really well said, non judgemental and appreciative of what M Perry brought to a huge audience, laughter and hope xx
R.I.P. Mathew
Sympathetic?? How? Pathetically disrespectful and a lame grab for likes.
Thank You Dr Grande. For your insight. Mathew was so talented and special Friend. Matthew lived and died in such pain. Life is cruel.
e is cruel.
No ads, no long introductions, no fluff. Just gets right to business. As real as it gets! Love this dudes channel
I had an ad right off the bat
@@alec7364oh. I didn’t hear him advertising other company’s. My bad
Exactly! Right to the point. You can tell many of these u tubers are talking in circles to make the videos longer. I guess they get more money that way.
Could I *be* any more sad?? RIP Matthew. You worked through so many obstacles and made us smile so much
He was a SELF GRATIFYING RICHIE-RICH ass-hole...
Who earned WAY too much money for being a TALENTLESS boob...
Did you know him? No. You knew what he portrayed.
And?
@@bthomson crying over a fictional character. Stay in reality. An addict is manipulative and not someone you want to be around.
I was halfway through his book and feeling inspired by him, as a person in recovery myself. I found out my friend who took me to my first meeting passed away from an overdose Saturday evening as well. I'm feeling very sad and empty and disappointed today, but it reminded me why I need to stay on the path that I am. Thank you, Matthew, for giving me inspiration and motivation for a life without substances. I know you wanted to be remembered for the people that you helped--I am one of those people, and I will never forget. Thank you.
Thank you…you inspired me with your post. Will keep you in my prayers. 🕊️
The very feelings one
covers up with substance.
It wont kill you to experience
those feelings, substances
Will.
So sorry to hear about your friend. Overdose deaths seem to leave a special kind of hell for the loved ones left behind. Stay strong. ❤
Lovely post, thank-you.
Prayers! I lost my children’s father to a over dose in march. It suck’s. I have to use the pain to fuel my own sobriety. Stay strong and keep going! We got this
Matty said if he ever had facial hair, you would know he was using. He was very well aware of the demons he was fighting and said he would give up all he had achieved to not be addicted. He had some bitterness towards his parents, the lack of attention and the bad example from his father for behaving as if alcohol was the best part of his day, but he still loved them very much. He had a good life full of interesting experiences and good friends, thank you for the inspiration, Matty!
Thank you for sharing that piece about his parents. I always say it starts with foundation and then formation. The root causes always intrigue me. Not to say that it is still chronic,genetic and lifestyle.
“substance abuse is a greedy conspirator that frequently demands one final payment.”
Thank you Dr. Grande 🍂
So true - how many times do we see this happen. He tried so valiantly to succeed in sobriety, that just shows you how difficult it can be 😢RIP Matthew ❤
One final payment?
That means the only ones that pass are users. So, if you don’t use you’re never going to die?
Utter nonsense!
After he was vaxxed, his heart suffered issues and he said in an interview his heart stopped for 5 mins.
This time, he’d been playing sport, then he passed with cardiac arrest.
You can research this yourself. Look up his old interview. Hear it from his own words.
Not from some bloke just speculating. He’s actually insulting Matthew and you!
Matthew hasn’t even been gone for 48hrs and you all are being incredibly insulting.
Hopefully the way this creator treats people will also be reflected with his final payment, as others will also be able to speculate about him.
Fairs fair.
@@heatherstephens9295he didn’t die from a drug overdose. How incredible cruel and insulting can you be?!
Hopefully the way you have treated matThew, the same is done to you on his passing. Then saying rip.
@@HGCUPCAKESWOW, how you can misconstrue what was said is insane and sad. Do some research on addiction and you will understand what Dr. Grande is saying.
epic
Mathew Perry was also a playwright. He wrote and starred in “The End of Longing” a play about addiction and recovery. He was an amazing talent and a decent human being. He was an addict in recovery and was very open about it. RIP dear soul.
"The one where we all lost a Friend" 💔 Matthew was an incredibly talented actor, it's sad he couldn't find peace in his life. Thanks Dr. Grande for the graceful analysis.
" Graceful" good word.
😭
We all feel like we lost a friend. Thank you so much for the kind overview of his life
Dr. Grande, I've commented a few times about how brilliant I think you are and how much I enjoy your spot-on analyses of different cases. On this one, I want to say how much I appreciated your compassion towards Perry. Without saying so outright, you made it clear that you're quite familiar with the characters on "Friends" and that Chandler is your favorite. Given your dry, witty and sometimes-sarcastic sense of humor, it's obvious why. Thank you for handling this case with so much empathy and such great insight into why so many of us loved Matthew Perry and thought of him as a friend despite not knowing him personally.
I loved his description of each of the characters and how he highlighted both their good and bad traits. Except Rachel. Ouch. 😅
This feels personal because he is like the sweetest little brother you could ever have. The best guy next door. The nicest guy looking for a true love. His family and friends must be be devastated. Condolences to those who enjoyed him as part of their lives.
Agree 100% with your comments 👍 ❤
Completely agree! I’ve had a crush on him for YEARS and I loved the crew from “Friends” but he was my favorite. I honestly feel like I’ve lost a close friend. I’ve watched them every night for almost two decades and don’t think I missed an episode before the show ended. This isn’t just Chandler I’m crazy about, it’s Matty Perry… such a talented actor and comedian and an upfront honest sweet soul. This one hurts… bad. 💔
Isn’t that something? Everyone loved the guy. And he had his demons his entire life.
@velvetbees I guess you missed that moment he trashed fellow actors and wished Keanu Reeves was dead for no reason at all. You People should stop deffending drug addicts and narcissists.
Love this 💔😞🙏
Matthew Perry delivered some of the best lines in that show. I'm sorry to see him go and sorry about his struggles.
The best lines in that show are so lame it should never have seen the light of day imho.
@@buttercxpdraws8101 Nobody fucking asked.
@@buttercxpdraws8101How did you get the idea that this was a good time to belittle Mr Perry?
@@buttercxpdraws8101could never like friends.
@@MK-cc5vewell perry was wondering why the people like keanu reeves are still alive so i am sure he would not mind we discussing him.
I think it’s even more remarkable that Matthew was able to act in such an incredible way and touch our hearts whilst battling addictions.
So many great comedians are tortured souls.
@@karenneill9109 Robin Williams come to mind.
@@AmariMarvelous Yes, absolutely.
Drugs and alcohol will mask the psychological problems and magnify the sociability of people thus allowing them to be more expressive. The entertainment industry is replete with addicts.
He also had a major mental illness.@@AmariMarvelous
A+++ work here, Dr. Grande, with the most thoughtful and insightful look at Matthew Perry’s life and death. You put mainstream media attempts at this to shame. Your ending to this video was particularly well done. I always enjoy your bits of humor in your videos, but this one struck a particularly poignant note that I so appreciated given the subject. Thank you!
I believe that after all of the opiates and alcohol he ingested over his lifetime, his organs were compromised. He could have had a spontaneous heart attack, especially after the physical activity of 2 hours of pickleball and then relaxing in a hot tub. I hope he didn’t succumb to his addiction one more time. I hope he can now find the happiness he sought and rest in peace. 😔
I thought the same thing. He also had COPD, which probably played a role, especially after 2 hours of pickleball. So sad.
He joins a long list of celebrity and show biz folk who battled demons and addiction. Even Johnny Carson was a freak they say. Fame doesn't eliminate anyone from self destruction.
Agreed. He had played pickleball earlier and was in good place .. A female friend said he was 100% sober the day before. Like you point out, the cumulative effects of 55 Vicodin a day and ton of alcohol, is difficult to measure ..Probably just worked the heart in hot tub too much after pickleball .No drugs found, so far no meth or. Fentanyl initially determined to be in his system. Always possible but sounds somewhat unlikely .
opioids don't harm any organs. alcohol is a different poison but you also have to consume vast amounts over decades for a health problem.addicts don't die from the substance but from the conditions they're forced to consume them in. since for example my country has a great needle exchange program and treats people with more respect our rates of HIV are close to zero where before it was a starting health crisis. give them clean tools and clean drugs in the quantities they obviously need them and there's absolutely no reason why anyone would get sick from it. i hope the USA can get to accepting therapy one day so your society doesn't have to watch hundreds of thousands of people suffer. it works everywhere else so it should work there too.
@@KaraLey98 You have to realize that he was not taking care of himself for a very long time. Between the drugs, alcohol and serious health issues and surgeries, his body paid the price.
A tortured soul who gave the world joy and laughter. RIP Matthew. Soar with the angels.
❤❤❤❤❤ lovely beautiful comment
Wow! The one thing we can’t say about Mathew Perry is that he didn’t fight to live. That’s a massive amount of therapy and rehab stints. Poor soul!😟
Incredible. I found the summation astonishing. It tells us we don't have a magic bullet.
Wish he'd added Christ to his list. Oh well.
@@roseaduke8835 Regrettably, one of the least Christ-like comments I’ve read, especially the “Oh well.” Regrettable, but not surprising, providing my assumption about your beliefs is true. (I stand corrected if they are not.)
@@IWillHaveThePastaThanks
You've made an assumption & jumped to a conclusion, yet made no point, since your ability to regret & lack of surprise are entirely your own, having no bearing on the trueness of my statement. To you, I'd have sounded more like the christ of your imagination if I'd said "RIP Matthew Perry", I suppose.
Maybe you should go & learn about the usages of the phrase "Oh well" &, study the biblical scriptures to know about who is Christ &, thereby, what is Christ-like or not.
@roseaduke8835 You didn’t get my point? Oh well.
Totally heartbroken when I heard the news of his passing. His character Chandler was my favorite on Friends. It seemed like he was getting his life turned around after years substance abuse. Rest in peace Matthew. Gone way too soon at 54. Thank you for covering this Doc 😢
But Matthew sure kept trying, didn’t he? God bless him.
People must realize that addiction or substance abuse is not the problem but is only a symptom of an underlying problem.
I don't know how you manage to get your content out so quickly. My theory is that you have an identical twin.
Thank you for discussing the issue of substance use and depression. Having worked at a very high-end drug rehab center, I was shocked at how many people in the entertainment industry struggle with these issues. I've come to believe that substance use is really about not feeling the agony of emotional pain.
I gather that he died alone in his fancy Hollywood home. A sad ending. Lots of big stars are miserable because they deal with crap people. Gold diggers hangers on agents trying to steal from them.
People think that money is the secret to happiness. Although poverty is a bitch and needs have to be met, happiness is a feeling of contentment that comes from within.
Well said.Peace from within are what bring us true joy.
Yes, and more, fame acts as a type of trauma, especially when it's at the world wide level.
Emotional pain is absolutely impossible to avoid
Some people with a gift to comedy have terrible substance abuse problems. His timming, expresions, the way he said his lines, was always on point.
So true. Look at all the fantastic comedians who passed far too young, from John Belushi to Robin Williams😢
It's wild to me that he was able to remember his lines and hit his mark being drunk and on pills but he said seasons 3 - 6 was a blur. I think his comedic gift was bordering on genius because those were some of the best seasons. Time to rewatch Friends.
I really appreciate your video, Dr. Grande. I can't find the right words at this time, but your kindness in spotlighting Matthew Perry's many positive aspects is comforting. RIP Matthew Perry. Thank you, Dr. Grande. 🙏🏾
Very well said.
I too thought it was a really balanced and respectful review of his life and work.
@@stephjohnson5217what "work" exactly? He probably never worked a day in his entire life
Where was this kind generosity in the case of Paul Reubens? With him, you seemed to be settling a score of some kind. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's puzzled.
@@Dr.Pancho.Tortilla Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon.
Your evaluation of Matthew Perry was flawless , sensitive and poignant. Thank you doctor for your wonderful tribute to Matthew.
This is so terribly sad. Nobody struggled harder against addiction than Matt Perry. He tried so hard and had so much to give, so much talent. It's just so sad.
The guy is nothing more than a drug addict and a drunk, why do you make him out to be some sort of hero? People struggle against cancer, they indulge in drug abuse and alcohol abuse
Lots of people ha e struggled harder
One of the key elements in a healthy recovery for me is learning to relax , take it easy .
I made huge progress when I stopped struggling to 'fix' me .
I don't have that kind of power .
Step 1 work .
yesh he struggled hard but honestly imagine doing that without money
So much to give? Uh, he was well paid. Not quite giving
A fitting eulogy for an actor you obviously admired. Nice work.
This was a fine tribute. I especially appreciate the connection made between Matthew Perry himself and the special dimension he brought to his role.
I just finished reading his book, which was incredibly moving and insightful. I am praying for all those who loved him. ❤
I often wondered what trauma, hurt, he tried to numb with addiction. I suppose I just need to read his Book ..
You brought tears to my eyes, Dr. Grande! Matthew was amazing, handsome, personable...to witness his decline due to substance abuse was really sad and made me angry... I hate drugs! RIP wonderful Matthew, you will truly be remembered and missed! Gone way too soon!
His main problem was drink.
I've been moderately poor my whole life, having maybe 1 friend. I don't have many things that make people happy, career, car, home. But I've always woke up happy and looking for what little positive I can find in the day. Matt's life shows me fame and fortune can never make you complete.
A very touching reflection of the life and experiences of an actor who had an impact on millions of people across the world. Amazingly articulated Dr. Grande, thank you.
I work in substance use disorder treatment in California. It's devastating.
God bless you! ❤
Mathew was a huge part of the success of "Friends." He and Schwimmer were my favorite actors on the show, because I identified most closely with their characters of Ross and Chandler. But like you say, ONLY Perry could've played Chandler Bing. RIP, Mathew; I hope you've found peace, my friend. 💐
Oh no no no no!!!! I can't believe Matthew is gone😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤
Could he have BEEN more perfect for the role? I think not.
RIP Chandler.
Oh, you too. That's funny because I've had the different people and even the same individuals tell me I remind them of one or both of those two characters myself; one or the other, never Joey or anyone else. Perhaps, that's part of the reason we're meeting like this . . . on the channel of a therapist.
😝
@sheilagravely5621 I know...I came home from shopping and my teen greeted me with the news. Yeah, I cried. She asked why I was that upset...I was an og friends fan. In my 20's I'd arrange my dating life around watching it...although most of the time I had the vcr programmed to record it just in case. I almost never missed a new episode, and of course I've watched them all many times now. Chandler was my favourite. Matthew Perry was perfect for the role. I was really rooting for him to be free of drugs forever.
I loved his book. It was so moving. I hope that he is at peace now and happy that he was able to share his story and voice with the world. Rest in peace, Matthew. ❤️
Thank you for handling this with such a sensitive nature. He had problems but he was such a tortured soul. He was never good enough for himself.
Thank you for covering this. I was shocked and saddened to hear of Mathew Perry's sudden passing. I know what it's like to struggle with substance abuse, it took me 15 plus years and almost died from overdosing. We always lose great, talented people way too soon, as they say "only the good die young" and 54 is too young to leave the world. I hope that Matthew's family and friends can heal from this. I know the sadness will never go away, but let's remember how much he made so many people laugh. R.I.P. Matthew.
❤ to you! So strong 🎉
Matthew, memory eternal 🙏
I dont drink or take substances of any kind so i cant relate to how ppl would not stop their addictions. Im do know however that drunks and user are selfish and disrupt and destroy the homes and lives of ever around them.
@@acdcmiami self medication against hardship, fear, anxiety, abuse victims, shame, sorrow, endless emptiness, and becoming a slave under something that takes control over this tormented soul. Nobody does it out of spite to harm those around them.
I have lost friends. They were sensitive, beautiful souls. May they rest in peace.
Empathy? Enlightment? Compassion?
Edit: seems important to add Im not a user either
@@acdcmiami I don't drink or take substances either but tbh I stayed away from them bcs I had the feeling it would be extea difficult for me to stop. I think one part of the issue is that they make you feel a certain way but they also change how you feel when you're not under their influence. So when you don't consume them your state is still altered. Also people use them to cope with various difficulties and oftentimes without even realizing that they even have those difficulties or that they're that bad or that that's the reason why they keep going back to the substances. It sounds silly but it does seem many people go through this. It's true that this abuse is disruptive to their lives and the lives of the people around them. But it's difficult to understand how these substances really influence people. The more they use it and the less they understand what's going on in their psyché... the weaker their willpower is. That's why they really need a lot of external help because in many cases they themselves don't know what is going on and how to succesfully quit, heal and prevent relapses. I don't consume any substances either but I'm interested in the topic. I hope this was useful insight to you.
@@essennagerry another important aspect is the money being made on the one addicted, by doctor or dealer, is the huge income that is being made for medical industry or syndicate - they dont care about lifes of victims or their families, its about money. And its sad and terrible!
Dr. Grande I very much appreciated your kind, thought out words on Matthew Perry. It was a beautiful video! Thank you for all of us who are grieving his loss. You brought tears to my eyes. Truly compassionate! 😢
He was such a good actor, SO FUNNY. Bless his heart, it’s hard to live with anxiety and loneliness.
Perfect Analysis, Dr. Grande! You hit this one out of the park. I devoured Matthew's book when it was released last year. I have been sober since 2012. I also am a retired counselor. In my opinion, you checked every box in your analysis of the life and death of a true Hollywood Star.
Really enjoyed this tribute. Very respectful and sensitive. I particularly liked 'substance use is a greedy conspirator who frequently demands one final payment'. Incredibly sad that his life ended this way. He was such a talented and generous human being.
Addiction is not your friend. Thank you Dr. Grande for giving voice to Matthew’s depression and anxiety, which can haunt you longer than the use of any substances.
Tyler's ???
@@janeoleary8454lol😅
It's amazing he made it this long. R.I.P. Matthew.
This breaks my heart. I loved him so much as Chandler but even more so, I loved him as himself. As a fellow recovering addict, I rooted for him and respected how public he made his struggle. He helped me more than he'll ever know. I love and miss you Matthew. RIP MATTHEW PERRY ❤
That was sensitively done thank you. As both a huge Friends fan and the sister of a wonderful brother who we lost to substance abuse, I think this was really well done
Dr. grande I really appreciate your excellent analysis of Matthew Perry. I also enjoy your soft voice, as most RUclips channels lack a host with a soothing voice, which is so much easier to listen to. Thank you! Blessings
Thank you for such a lovely and insightful tribute, Dr. Grande. May Matthew finally find the peace he so desperately wanted.
Very well said. Agree!
A strong reminder to everyone substance abuse often starts from just having one drink of alcohol. Sad that Matthew Perry was fighting his hidden demons for his entire adult life. His audio book that he spoke on is an incredible witness to his battle. Yet another lesson that fame and money can often bring you no happiness and in fact can contribute to a very early death
Didn't he start using painkillers due to a ski accident?
or just one blinkerton
@@puturro No it started from drinking wine when he was a teen
He started Young not adult life only he suffered his entire life man so sad!
Nothing hidden about it, except in the 90's. He's been very open about it. I'm sure it played a role in his death. People don't just drown in their hot tub for no reason.
I find the most understandable part of this tribute to be that always seeking laughter from an unknown audience was what caused his greatest pain and suffering. Life is rarely full of humor, and seeking acceptance for something so foreign would be nearly impossible. Substances often give us the sense that we’re winning, when reality is the opposite. People who have never taken a pill, or a drink, and felt for the first time that they are not a failure, can’t comprehend why someone doesn’t just not take the pill when their lives are crumbling around them. Feeling for once that you are not a burden or a failure is a powerful emotion. Admitting one’s vulnerability is not as simple for many. If you’ve never struggled with that level of physical or emotional pressure, be thankful and humble, not hateful. Compassion is a powerful gift for all living beings.
Since I didn't know about Matthew Perry's passing, I so appreciate you, Dr. Grande! With just the right amount of discretion, compassion and very few jokes, the news was received in bite - sized doses, very palatable and your kind words were much appreciated!!!!
Again, you rock, Dr. Grande!!!
Thank you for you kind review and analysis, Doc.
It’s tragic that Matthew died so young and apparently, alone. We can all pray the cause that led to the drowning was not substance related or a relapse. After trying so hard to fight the battle of addiction, his death would be even more devastating if he lost his battle.
Even if it was a relapse, it doesn't make him less of the amazing person he was. Just saying.
You truly did him justice. An iconic character for sure. Very sad he struggled so much😥
Touching tribute, doc. I wasn't a fan of "Friends", and I didn't really follow Matthew Perry's career, but he seemed like a pretty good, though troubled, guy. Rest in peace, Mr. Perry.
He lived in my hometown of Ottawa, Ontario, and my friends went to high school with him at Lisgar Collegiate. So this is sad for me on a more personal level - RIP Mathew 😢
Ottawa here as well. I thought he also went to Ashbury with Trudeau as well? Ah, Lisgar! Such a rich history at that school. Matthew never forgot Ottawa. Last year, he was here with his Sens Jersey.
Sounds like his body finally just gave out. None of us are here forever. He made and will continue to make many laugh and smile. His story and openness of his struggles with addiction will help many also.
Yes that's what I think happened to
Yeah, 2 hours of playing pickleball with COPD could definitely put a strain on your heart, especially someone not in great health.
I couldn't believe I was seeing a Mathew Perry spot by Dr. Grande already ! Unbelievable how the good Doctor is able to articulate such a touching commentary within hours of Mathews death. Thank You so much....I'm touched by your ability to deliver with compassion.
The social dr gets his subject matter from the Google algorithm. He'll have somethingb to say about whatever Google searches is hot
This was beautifully done Dr. Grande. Thank you ❤
Addiction is so horrible! This poor guy tried so hard to get clean. Hope he is in peace and happy now.
Thank you Dr Grande for your empathetic and compassionate analysis of Matthew Perry. He was my favorite on the show as I identified with him most. It’s heartbreaking he died so young.
Thank you Dr Grande for this beautiful compassionate non-judgemetal description of a troubled and brilliant soul. I always felt drawn to Matthew Perry whenever I watched him, either in Friends or in one of his movies. I always felt that I wanted to put my arms around him, hug him tight. Even though I've been fortunate in never having addictions of any kind, I somehow had an affinity with him re his struggles. I loved that his optimism kept him fighting to overcome his demons. May he now rest in the arms of the angels, and find the peace he was looking for so desperately here on earth. 😢 RIP Chandler Bing, my favourite friend ❤ you will be missed. 😢
Thank you for your sensitivity in discussing Mr Perry’s life and tragic death. I didn’t watch the show that much but was familiar with the show. I have close family members who fought substance abuse and the two most important ones (to me) were successful in overcoming their addictions and for that I am hugely grateful. To me, Mr Perry’s death is tragic and saddening, regardless of what happened and I believe that his struggles and death have definitely served to help others who are fighting substance abuse. Rest in Peace Matthew…..you are a shining star in the Heavens above us all. 💔💫💔
He worked so hard to be healthy and well..... he really kept trying and trying, never giving up!!! Matthew Perry, you will always be "Mattman" to your grateful fans!!! Rest in Peace!!! You will be missed!!! 😢❤🙏
This was such a thoughtful, heartbreaking analysis of Matthew Perry’s career and his struggles with addiction. I rewatched it several times-felt close to home. It made me tear up. Thank you, Dr Grande.
“I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” Chandler Bing In the end, Mathew Perry did want to give advice and find meaning in his struggles. Great tribute Dr. G. I love how you expressed appreciation for his creation of Chandler. I know that his sarcastic Witt made him a character after my heart
Agreed ❤
Thank you so much for speaking about Matthew Perry with such sensitivity. Your grace is especially appreciated when talking about someone most of us never met, but considered a friend.
Thank you for covering this and the way you covered it. He really battled addiction, and the whole time, entertained millions of people with his acting. This is very sad. You covered his life and career beautifully.
Thank you. This reminds us all to hold so much more compassion for those who struggle so much through their addictions. Love the person deep inside the body, deep behind those eyes, you find them there in a dark place. Those who can support, are such a light and comfort. That's all anyone would ask, is for loving compassion and care. RIP Mathew...
Agree 1000% other night while watching On Patrol tv show (cameras follow law enforce in real time), police were called to scene of 'minor' car accident - car lost control and ran up over sidewalk and hit fence. Inside car was young woman who initially was unconscious. They had to break the windows to get her out and administer first aid, etc. She came to rather quickly and I don't believe they used Narcan. They found 2 canisters of compressed air. She was impaired. She refused transport to hospital and at-scene first aid from EMTs. Cop performed sobriety test I believe particular to huffing (?correct term?) vs etoh and Rx - or so I thought I heard them describe test specific. She failed test. They charged her with dui and took her away. And what she and we also need for her is treatment. In the moment, she probably would refuse. I understand why society has dui for sure. For the using and addiction. -treatment & compassion.
Wow, you find them there in a dark place. As an addict, that is the most compassionate and descriptive insight into an addict I have ever heard. It's where I live, in a dark place. It's safer than living in the real world for us. I had a doctor friend of 30 years who counseled me. He had a terrible addiction to everything. A kind, gentle man of great knowledge. Almost like if he knew everything about neurotransmitters, he could analyze himself out of addiction. On a Thursday I met with him. He kept looking at the floor, refusing to make eye contact. Suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "Why do people commit suicide?" 'I don't know, I guess they just don't care anymore'. "No, it's because they care too much". The following Tuesday he was dead of a massive overdose. He had been found out and turned into the medical board. Well, you can say, didn't you see any red flags? His entire life was a red flag. His dark place had become exposed and he had to flee. For years I blamed myself for not seeing or sensing the impact of our last conversation. A bit unusual, sure. But in 30 years we had many unusual conversations. Where does the addict go when he can't go to his dark place?
Wonderful analysis, Dr. Grande. Clinical yet compassionate.
I’m in recovery myself now for 34 years.
Often the abuse we put ourselves through in active addiction takes a huge physical toll later in life.
Prayers to everyone struggling to stay clean just for today.
💗🙏🏻💗🙏🏻💗
but toxicology results are not even in yet?
That was very sweet. He did appear to have a kind soul. At least a very kind smile.
Thank you for not making sarcastic remarks about Matthew Perry’s addiction problems and death. What you said was really sensitive and profound. He was such a complex but ultimately good person who wanted to help others. I feel like no other cast members on Friends cared about him and this was apparent when he was asked who had kept in touch with him and he said no one. I hope he’s in his happy place now, making everyone in heaven laugh and helping those in need up there. ❤
Your statement should be read out to every 12-step recovery group. I'm an addict with 8+ years clean and yes, some of the consequences are lifelong. The devil will have his due and the piper expects to be paid. Again and again. My drug use lasted about 4 years, but I did 10 years worth of damage. I lost my first husband, my house, my occupation as a nurse, and many friends and family. Nothing I can do will ever bring things back to the way they were, and there's some relationships that cannot ever be restored. Trust and respect are everything. If I did that much damage in 4 years, I can't imagine what decades would do. Rest in peace to Matthew Perry and I hope he finds the peace he sought in life in the hereafter.
What was ur drug choice if u don’t mind me asking?
@@kimlarso Not at all. I was addicted to prescription painkillers.
❤
This is the first time I've seen Dr Grande get emotional, understandable as how sad and devastating this case is
Emotional. Didn't see that
I am sorry to hear of his passing. I never really watched Friends. But he seemed like a good guy who went through a lot. I hope he is at peace.
I enjoy listening to you. Thank you;;;;;for all u add to many of our lives.
I interviewed Perry last year when his book was published. A very sweet, kind and soft-spoken guy, and of course very funny. He had me laughing so hard at one point, I almost spit my coffee on him (without missing a beat, he told me in a mock serious tone: "Whoah, there, Rob -- have you got a drinking problem you didn't warn me about?" I remember thinking that his comedic timing was still pitch perfect.)
But I also recall being struck by that sadness and melancholy Dr. Grande discussed. He would take these long, reflective pauses when talking about his past, especially when it came to his time on "Friends", and when he laughed, it often seemed forced, like there was an overwhelming feeling of regret or mournfulness that he was trying to hide, but couldn't quite pull off.
It's often the sweetest, most and sensitive and thoughtful among those with substance abuse disorder who have the hardest time getting clean. I suspect it's because they're so caring, helpful and considerate that they don't want to "bother" anyone with their problems. The sad irony is that those are the ones whose friends and family WANT to help the most -- they don't ever think of it as a bother at all. I hope he has found the peace in death that seemed to allude him so much of the time in life.
Very well put Dr. Grande. I myself have been clean and sober for 29 years. I have witnessed the disease of addiction kill members of my fellowship both in two ways. Overdosing or drinking themselves to death or succumbing to their mental illness and not seeking professional help from a person like yourself. Be well…… everyone
I was shocked when I read the news on instagram. Chandler was my favorite character from Friends, he was the funniest and most likable one.
Friends is my comfort show, when I'm feeling down I watch an episode and I feel better.
I didnt know him personally, but I felt this loss like he was a close friend of mine. Rest in Peace, Mattie ❤
Thank you Dr. Grande. My heart goes out to Mr. Perry's loved ones. He brought laughter to my life from his work on the show. He'll be missed.
"The one where we all lost a friend."
RIP Mathew! ❤️🩹
The end was sweet. A friend for many❤ i never watched the show nor know about them but i appreciate learning about him. May his soul Rest In TOTAL Peace 🙏 🕊 💐
This is especially heartbreaking because Matthew Perry had been sober for the past few years. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and loved ones. Rest in peace Matthew. 🙌🏽
I don't believe so
Pickleball said it all
Bravo Doctor Grande. You explained the evils of drug addiction so well. It's sad that M. Perry has passed. He was a beautiful Man, talented, but he was a fragile Man. RIP Mathew Perry.
Thanks, Dr. Grande, for your analysis and thoughts about Matthew Perry. This ultimately is an extremely sad story with an even sadder ending for him.
Thank you Dr Grande for your analysis. The death of Matthew Perry is truly sad news. Your kind words help me to process such a heartbreaking loss. 🙏
Kind words? We must of heard a different video.
Speculating for content on someone’s death, less than 48hrs after their passing, suggesting it’s something it’s not is incredible insensitive. Not a lot of empathy there for Matthew, his family, friends and fans. Just sensationalism to create a RUclips video.
Hopefully the same will be done to those that have participated in this. Matthew can’t now defend himself. Not that it matters to the creator.
He’s just speculating. Yuck!
This was a touching tribute, handled with impeccable sensitivity. I admire how many times Matthew kept trying to recover. I lost my Mum two years ago after an almost 40 year span of abusing alcohol and painkillers. There were many times when I have been sat besides her in intensive care before then. Addiction has a grip like no other and it doesn't discriminate. Rest in peace xx 🙏🕊
I battled opiate addiction for many years. Your opinion on the subject was spot on. Thankfully I've been clean for a lot longer than I was using but it will always be an option for me to return. He did post some strange stuff on Instagram in the week prior to his death. Some of his followers were asking him if he was ok? It might be nothing but the final post was him soaking in his hot tub by the look of it. The whole thing is very sad. A very respectful analysis. ❤
He also posted a video of some berries that looked like night shade and wrote "that's all I ate today". All his last posts sound like cries for help. It's so sad that noone realized it in time
@@annaf3915 I saw that as well but wasn't sure what they were.
His autobiography is incredible, I never saw friends or any if his movies, just checked it out of curiosity and what an unbelievable story his life journey. Blessings to him and his family. May he rest in peace
If you can, watch Friends, even just one episode. It's hilarious and Matthew's character is brilliant, especially the dynamic between him and Matt LeBlanc's character (Joey).
I've read in the tributes and hear on the news that his book was very very good. I wish he would have checked into writing more. I feel he would have found something of what he felt missing in his life with another talent being freed up
Very well said, Dr Grande. My heart is broken for our friend and I pray that he is finally at peace 💜
Thank you Todd for this superb, well spoken, analysis of our Friend Matthew Perry's life. I will not need to read a single additional tribute because you have said it all. Our thoughts are with Matthews fellow Friends actors today and with his Family and those closest to him. Todd, you have become my "go to" place of peace, tranquility and realistic, honest commentary on all subjects covered by you.
Beautifully crafted. For those of us in our 50's, we HAVE lost a "friend" for sure.
Before Matthew reached the age of one, his parents divorced. Assuming people don't just get divorced on a whim, problems must have been bubbling underneath the surface for a while. Babies soak up stress both inside and outside the womb and they cannot feel secure in a tense environment with a stressed mother and father, no matter how loving or well-intentioned the parents are. The neural circuitry being laid down during this most crucial time of growth is without a doubt compromised. Clearly not much had gotten better if Matthew felt compelled to ease his pain with alcohol when he was just 14. Childhood trauma can seriously mess you up for life...
Psychotherapy twice a week for 30 years, 6,000 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, detoxed 65 times, rehab 15 times. Nobody can accuse him of not trying.
I fully agree. It does start in the womb and society won't go there! Too emotional. Pain is temporary,healing is forever. (I heard that today.)
I was in shock when I heard the sad news last night. Matthew Perry, you will always remembered as Chandler Muriel Bing. RIP😢💔
i like when he answered a phone Chandler Bing, ......and the person said ...wow short message
Such a great looking young man. So sad. RIP Matthew Perry
he was handsome and seemed like an all around good guy. may he rest in peace 🙏🏽
Oh wow, had no idea Keith Morrison was his stepdad!!
yes, for like over 25+ years. I remember learning this. Really interesting, for sure. RIP
One of the wisest, emotionally resonant and poetic videos you have ever done. Thank you, teacher. That touched my soul❤️🫶
Great job Dr very very well said & explained Thanks
What a life, what a struggle. RIP dear one. Thank you Dr Grande. I had no idea what Mathew had been through. 💕