One of the wildest things I've heard is a lady who asked for a nice bouquet for her "push present" before the birth. She had a very complicated birth and ended up having to have an emergency C-section. Right after she was pretty out of it but within the day she did notice that there were no flowers in her hospital room. When she saw her husband again she asked and he said something non-committal, but she figured he was just overwhelmed after the stressful birth situation. The next day he showed up with a $4.99 bouquet from the grocery store. When she indignantly asked if this was supposed to be her "push present" he responded with "You don't need a push present because you didn't push!" I don't have an update on the situation above but I very much hope she left him. If she doesn't have a car, in her name, then I think she should get a car if they can afford it. He is *horrible* at explaining his point and I know why she was very upset. Also he is very condescending and demeaning towards his wife.
So she basically almost died giving birth to her and HIS child, but since she "didn't push" she only deserves a small sad bouquet from a mall? Again, after almost dying? I too hope she left him...
I feel like there's more to this story than we are getting from OP... And the way he is telling the story leaves me to believe that he is generally an AH
I first heard about push presents during my 2 and pregnancy, in 2003. At that time it was supposed to be expensive jewelry, which made no sense to me. What I really wanted? Was for my husband to suddenly be able to breastfeed. 😊
So let me get this straight: according to OP, the baby is gift enough to her. It's not a gift. She had to be pregnant for months, which is extremely uncomfortable, give a dangerous and painful birth, and have her body permanently changed. That's not a gift it's work. Meanwhile, he just had to blow a load, and somehow, that load is his "gift" to her? The story sounds like rage bait to me, but if it is real, maybe the wife is realizing how underappreciated she is and maybe causing a bit of a scene hoping to get at least a little bit of attention or appreciation. Man, at least get her a spa day or something.
Also, asking for her own car with a newborn isn't some crazy ask. Newborns go to the doctor a LOT. And public transportation isn't great with a new immune system.
I wonder how much of this is an escalating arms race? Meaning, she’s feeling under-appreciated for the huge - potentially fatal - sacrifice, she’s about to make. He’s willfully not understanding. She ups the ante. He still doesn’t care. And it cycles upward.
The house could be an investment rental for her. Becoming a parent drastically impacts a woman's career and life-long earnings, while it increases a man's earning potential. I think it's a way to offset the financial risk of becoming a mother, and a safety net in case she becomes a single mum one day. If nothing bad happens it remains a joint asset for the whole family, and part of the kids inheritence. Not saying I agree, but I sort of see what they're saying.
I get what he's saying about the whole "she's choosing to get pregnant with me" but the simple fact is the person actually carrying the baby goes through a lot more for that decision.
Could've gotten her a car , not an expensive one , all the pain and discomfort all these months plus I assume she'll be the primary care for the child .He never said he can't afford it , he doesn't want it to be in her name ,I don't like him.
When my mom had me, my dad got both of them gold cross necklaces, to which 28 years later, they still never take off. They say their wedding bands are a symbol of their marriage, the necklaces are a symbol of becoming parents! I like the idea of jewelry that's not too expensive, but a car is too much! I say everybody sucks here
I’m 40, we were lower middle class, my mom got diamonds for BOTH of her kids. And my Dad wasn’t exactly a model husband, lol. She ended up giving the jewelry to us when we became adults.
The idea of a push present is it is as permanent as the child, and changes to her body. like a tattoo or house and is ment to give the woman more stability in the relationship especially since so many men flip script once the qoman is pregnant or the baby is born and so many avoid paying support for their kid.
I agree with ESH. Don’t insult and put down your partner, especially after that partner carried a baby for 9 months and put their life on hold for it. Meanwhile, don’t ask for things worth more than $10k as a present exclusive to yourself. A 10-year-old used car averages around $12k. A house is something you’d get a loan for. Both of these things are things you pay bills for and upkeep. I think it’s fine to bring this up as something to discuss with your partner and ask for, but… as a joint decision.
Personally, push gifts are weird to me. I have never heard of it and I am almost positive they are not a thing where I am at. Personally, I would probably feel weird if my spouse got me one. For me, having a baby is a joint decision, and the baby is the gift or whatever. But I guess if you are from somewhere where this is normal, you would feel differently
Is it weird to appreciate your partner putting their life at risk to give birth to a baby you both wanted? It's not only a gift for her but also labour. If i happen to want a child and my partner is the only one who will do 90% of creating said child and then put her life in danger to give birth to it, then the bare minimum is for me to show how much I appreciate her sacrifice, which can be done with a push gift, i guess.
I still haven’t made up my mind about kids for several reasons but my current bf does want them and it comes up every once in a while, and he’s the reason I’m considering changing my mind. I know for a fact I’d be miserable and be worried about my body and my mental state and all those things, but if I did decide to have a kid bc he wants them, I still wouldn’t really expect anything besides him helping me out just bc I kinda yea, was tortured for 9 months. I can understand being a little hopeful or it seeming like a nice idea but if you’re pressuring someone into getting one for you then it doesn’t mean anything anymore, it’s supposed to be something nice as a form of appreciation
I’ve never heard of a “push present”, but the concept makes a lot of sense to me. Pregnancy is stressful. If the partner put aside money each time the wife was struggling/in pain/feeling sick/etc, I feel like it would add up to quite a decent amount of money. Unless humanity can go “full seahorse” and have the male carry the fetus, there’s not too much the partner can do to take on the burden instead. Even if both parties really want kids, one physically takes a hit from it.
I like the idea of a push gift celebrating ur partner whether you planned the pregnancy or not she’s risking her life but she needs to be realistic cuz a car is expensive so it can be a goal but not right away. Him tho he could still making her feel special getting her flowers or sum like at least do something sweet he definitely ain’t use a great choice of words and the comment is gross he sounds like a loser!
ESH do you mean she wants you to get a tattoo because that's crazy And a home for herself is ridiculas However if you'll both be working outside the home and need to take the child to day care or if she's going to be a stay at home mom runninng errands maybe look into a used car and go 50\50 so she can get around when you arn;''t home okay the meal thing is a fantastic gift
If she doesn't have a car then that would make sense and it depends on their finances. Him thinking about saying that his load that helped make the kid is a gift to his now pregnant wife says a lot. I don't think he likes her. Saying it's equal just ain't true.
I wonder if she had never watched that tiktok video would she even want a push present? Is the video she watched some female version of Andrew Tate? We need to see this tiktok video. Getting a present for your wife after having a baby is just what you do, but why does it HAVE to have a minimum of a 5 digit price tag???
Woman: wants to be compensated for doing something that significantly impacts her financial future, so that she is likely never going to get upwards mobility career wise, and that ruins her body for life, while her husbands chance of material wealth only increases by it Some commenter: she must be watching female Andrew Tate. How dare a woman not freely give up everything she could have been for a child that will only benefit her husband materially.
@@cheesecake7274 read my comment again and answer only this question "but why does it HAVE to have a minimum of a 5 digit price tag???" Hope you have a great day internet stranger who was offended by my comment :)
One of the wildest things I've heard is a lady who asked for a nice bouquet for her "push present" before the birth. She had a very complicated birth and ended up having to have an emergency C-section. Right after she was pretty out of it but within the day she did notice that there were no flowers in her hospital room. When she saw her husband again she asked and he said something non-committal, but she figured he was just overwhelmed after the stressful birth situation. The next day he showed up with a $4.99 bouquet from the grocery store. When she indignantly asked if this was supposed to be her "push present" he responded with "You don't need a push present because you didn't push!"
I don't have an update on the situation above but I very much hope she left him.
If she doesn't have a car, in her name, then I think she should get a car if they can afford it. He is *horrible* at explaining his point and I know why she was very upset. Also he is very condescending and demeaning towards his wife.
So she basically almost died giving birth to her and HIS child, but since she "didn't push" she only deserves a small sad bouquet from a mall? Again, after almost dying?
I too hope she left him...
@@IronicNameOrWhatever Yeah my reaction when I first heard the story was "sucks she's a single mom now, but she's better off I'm sure"
I feel like there's more to this story than we are getting from OP... And the way he is telling the story leaves me to believe that he is generally an AH
I first heard about push presents during my 2 and pregnancy, in 2003. At that time it was supposed to be expensive jewelry, which made no sense to me.
What I really wanted? Was for my husband to suddenly be able to breastfeed. 😊
So let me get this straight: according to OP, the baby is gift enough to her. It's not a gift. She had to be pregnant for months, which is extremely uncomfortable, give a dangerous and painful birth, and have her body permanently changed. That's not a gift it's work. Meanwhile, he just had to blow a load, and somehow, that load is his "gift" to her? The story sounds like rage bait to me, but if it is real, maybe the wife is realizing how underappreciated she is and maybe causing a bit of a scene hoping to get at least a little bit of attention or appreciation. Man, at least get her a spa day or something.
Also, asking for her own car with a newborn isn't some crazy ask. Newborns go to the doctor a LOT. And public transportation isn't great with a new immune system.
I wonder how much of this is an escalating arms race?
Meaning, she’s feeling under-appreciated for the huge - potentially fatal - sacrifice, she’s about to make. He’s willfully not understanding. She ups the ante. He still doesn’t care. And it cycles upward.
@@MovableNu I think you could absolutely be right about that..
My push present was a recliner with big plushy side arms. I LOVE it. Still have it 8 years later ❤
The house could be an investment rental for her. Becoming a parent drastically impacts a woman's career and life-long earnings, while it increases a man's earning potential. I think it's a way to offset the financial risk of becoming a mother, and a safety net in case she becomes a single mum one day. If nothing bad happens it remains a joint asset for the whole family, and part of the kids inheritence. Not saying I agree, but I sort of see what they're saying.
I get what he's saying about the whole "she's choosing to get pregnant with me" but the simple fact is the person actually carrying the baby goes through a lot more for that decision.
Could've gotten her a car , not an expensive one , all the pain and discomfort all these months plus I assume she'll be the primary care for the child .He never said he can't afford it , he doesn't want it to be in her name ,I don't like him.
When my mom had me, my dad got both of them gold cross necklaces, to which 28 years later, they still never take off. They say their wedding bands are a symbol of their marriage, the necklaces are a symbol of becoming parents! I like the idea of jewelry that's not too expensive, but a car is too much! I say everybody sucks here
I’m 40, we were lower middle class, my mom got diamonds for BOTH of her kids. And my Dad wasn’t exactly a model husband, lol. She ended up giving the jewelry to us when we became adults.
The idea of a push present is it is as permanent as the child, and changes to her body. like a tattoo or house and is ment to give the woman more stability in the relationship especially since so many men flip script once the qoman is pregnant or the baby is born and so many avoid paying support for their kid.
I agree with ESH. Don’t insult and put down your partner, especially after that partner carried a baby for 9 months and put their life on hold for it. Meanwhile, don’t ask for things worth more than $10k as a present exclusive to yourself.
A 10-year-old used car averages around $12k. A house is something you’d get a loan for. Both of these things are things you pay bills for and upkeep. I think it’s fine to bring this up as something to discuss with your partner and ask for, but… as a joint decision.
Personally, push gifts are weird to me. I have never heard of it and I am almost positive they are not a thing where I am at. Personally, I would probably feel weird if my spouse got me one.
For me, having a baby is a joint decision, and the baby is the gift or whatever. But I guess if you are from somewhere where this is normal, you would feel differently
Is it weird to appreciate your partner putting their life at risk to give birth to a baby you both wanted? It's not only a gift for her but also labour. If i happen to want a child and my partner is the only one who will do 90% of creating said child and then put her life in danger to give birth to it, then the bare minimum is for me to show how much I appreciate her sacrifice, which can be done with a push gift, i guess.
I know this is older but push presents were already a thing and it’s usually a family car/mom car
I still haven’t made up my mind about kids for several reasons but my current bf does want them and it comes up every once in a while, and he’s the reason I’m considering changing my mind. I know for a fact I’d be miserable and be worried about my body and my mental state and all those things, but if I did decide to have a kid bc he wants them, I still wouldn’t really expect anything besides him helping me out just bc I kinda yea, was tortured for 9 months. I can understand being a little hopeful or it seeming like a nice idea but if you’re pressuring someone into getting one for you then it doesn’t mean anything anymore, it’s supposed to be something nice as a form of appreciation
I’ve never heard of a “push present”, but the concept makes a lot of sense to me. Pregnancy is stressful.
If the partner put aside money each time the wife was struggling/in pain/feeling sick/etc, I feel like it would add up to quite a decent amount of money.
Unless humanity can go “full seahorse” and have the male carry the fetus, there’s not too much the partner can do to take on the burden instead. Even if both parties really want kids, one physically takes a hit from it.
I like the idea of a push gift celebrating ur partner whether you planned the pregnancy or not she’s risking her life but she needs to be realistic cuz a car is expensive so it can be a goal but not right away. Him tho he could still making her feel special getting her flowers or sum like at least do something sweet he definitely ain’t use a great choice of words and the comment is gross he sounds like a loser!
ESH do you mean she wants you to get a tattoo because that's crazy And a home for herself is ridiculas However if you'll both be working outside the home and need to take the child to day care or if she's going to be a stay at home mom runninng errands maybe look into a used car and go 50\50 so she can get around when you arn;''t home okay the meal thing is a fantastic gift
Hows is a whole ass car a reasonable to basically demand from someone and feel entitled too
If she doesn't have a car then that would make sense and it depends on their finances.
Him thinking about saying that his load that helped make the kid is a gift to his now pregnant wife says a lot. I don't think he likes her. Saying it's equal just ain't true.
The car will enable her to go to the grocery store for food get to doctor's appointments and get out to me at other Moms
@@squirrel670if she needs a car she should bring up a joint conversation not demand one as a present.
@Cjaj2 I agree with that. The relationship unfortunately doesn't sound very good
I wonder if she had never watched that tiktok video would she even want a push present? Is the video she watched some female version of Andrew Tate? We need to see this tiktok video. Getting a present for your wife after having a baby is just what you do, but why does it HAVE to have a minimum of a 5 digit price tag???
Woman: wants to be compensated for doing something that significantly impacts her financial future, so that she is likely never going to get upwards mobility career wise, and that ruins her body for life, while her husbands chance of material wealth only increases by it
Some commenter: she must be watching female Andrew Tate. How dare a woman not freely give up everything she could have been for a child that will only benefit her husband materially.
@@cheesecake7274 read my comment again and answer only this question "but why does it HAVE to have a minimum of a 5 digit price tag???" Hope you have a great day internet stranger who was offended by my comment :)