LISTEN TO THIS Before You Cut Someone Off!

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  • Опубликовано: 12 дек 2024

Комментарии • 113

  • @Tiger-ch2hv
    @Tiger-ch2hv Год назад +43

    I cut off like that bc they’ve shown that they don’t communicate

  • @lolitapty1680
    @lolitapty1680 Год назад +99

    A month and a half ago I blocked a guy who I went on 1 coffee date. He cancelled 3 dates after that. So, I blocked him. After 5 weeks, he texted me using someone else's phone, trying to go on a date with me. I told him why I blocked him, he said he was sorry, but I don't trust him. So instead of just blocking him again. I told him that I could not go out with him because I don't trust him and please don't contact me again. I think I gave him closure this time 😊. Sometimes, we have to be brutally honest, before we cut off someone.

    • @keke2296
      @keke2296 Год назад

      Wait so u blocked him after the 1st date, y'all got back in contact and he cancelled 3 dates after that?

    • @lolitapty1680
      @lolitapty1680 Год назад

      @@keke2296 no, we went on one date, then, I blocked him after he cancelled 3 dates after that one first date.

    • @dpharrison7
      @dpharrison7 Год назад +4

      ​@keke2296 they went on 1 date, he canceled the next 3 dates then she blocked him

  • @Ashlynma
    @Ashlynma Год назад +33

    Sometimes Stephan, the opportunity is just not there to actually talk with the person. When the person is dodgy and avoids the idea of talking.......cutting off with no communication is the only option. Thank you for your message.

    • @karugabamarynorris8145
      @karugabamarynorris8145 Год назад

      This is true, it's hard

    • @sadiqua7
      @sadiqua7 Год назад +4

      Exactly, also when you’ve expressed how you feel when they violate a boundary like being left on read for a whole week! And they do it again and again and act like it’s no big deal. You have to cut itttt

    • @Ashley-oi2uw
      @Ashley-oi2uw Год назад +1

      Agreed

    • @keke2296
      @keke2296 Год назад +1

      I agree 💯💯

  • @hazell1593
    @hazell1593 Год назад +24

    I tried to talk to my situationship person very calmly and he wasn't having it so I said KICK ROCKS!!!! No explanation needed. Communication is a two way street!!!!

    • @HoneyBunches100
      @HoneyBunches100 Год назад +5

      Subjecting you to a “Situationship” means he didn’t think you deserved the honor of proper protection and provision from a man. Men like these are for the gutters and should never be entertained for even two seconds of your time. Have more self-respect and receive the healthy, adult relationship…that is your birth right and what our Creator intended ✨

    • @hazell1593
      @hazell1593 Год назад +1

      @@HoneyBunches100 Absolutely👍

  • @brittthecancerqueenempress9137
    @brittthecancerqueenempress9137 Год назад +19

    And then it’s people that don’t know how to communicate and it turns into an argument and that’s something im no longer doing …

  • @kayeshan6347
    @kayeshan6347 Год назад +32

    Facts. I said it to myself this morning, the only time I truly heal is when I actually speak to the person who causes me to hurt. I only have peace whenever I express myself and forgive them.

  • @nichelegibson1188
    @nichelegibson1188 Год назад +18

    The biggest red flag to me is when a man doesn’t ask you questions. Like we have been dating for a while, do you even know what my favorite color is.🤷🏽‍♀️ I understand some of us work a lot & have absolutely no social skills. But there are too many lifetime movies out there with plenty of examples of how to show compassion & talk to others. Your last relationship the woman cheated on you because you weren’t present, do you honestly want to do the same thing twice.🤦🏽‍♀️ This is a big problem with men that don’t have a father/man figure in there lives. If I tell you what bothers me & you can only communicate physically. Then good luck out there because it’s never going to work, especially when a woman tells you up front that she doesn’t get offended easily (I work with kids😂). So now that I stop calling you after several attempts to communicate now you want to text/ call🤷🏽‍♀️ miss me with the bull crap. I got too many people that love & want to be with me to deal with one that can’t even figure out which planet they want to be on. I’m too cute & sweet for the drama, too many adults that aren’t properly diagnosed out here walking around with Autism, bipolar & etc. please pray for me . I’m just trying to start at friendship with no pressure 🤷🏽‍♀️ This is the first time I’ve ever dealt with this mess. 🤔🙏🏽

  • @shawanahickman6952
    @shawanahickman6952 Год назад +51

    I'm not going back for nobody

    • @glittercatstudios
      @glittercatstudios Год назад +12

      Then you'll always be alone and miss the one God has for you. Sometimes, your intended mate will bring out those things in you God wants to fix, and that isn't ever smooth, nor does it feel good. If you're not seeking God in who you date, you're already missing it.

    • @gasoranm.8449
      @gasoranm.8449 Год назад +6

      Never say "never" ?

    • @melluques8475
      @melluques8475 Год назад

      I am! If he worth it for sure🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @danij3586
    @danij3586 Год назад +35

    Pray about the situation as well. God will put on your heart how to address that person. Use discernment as well. If a person is defensive then you may want to rethink face to face. A letter might be better. Always be safe.

  • @chrystalbluepersuasion444
    @chrystalbluepersuasion444 11 месяцев назад +3

    I wanted to talk things out, but when I saw how he went cold I'd had enough of that treatment. In that moment I was done, and I realized he just wasn't that into me. I really loved that young man, and wished things could have ended peacefully, but I'd given myself grace knowing I'd done right by him and his family the entire time we were together, and I didn't deserve to be treated that way. That gave me the peace of mind to move on.

  • @HoneyBunches100
    @HoneyBunches100 Год назад +5

    No, the toxic types get blocked - they don’t need closure or understanding because they know EXACTLY what they were doing. Don’t waste your energy to talk to someone who is deliberately playing mind games and sitting back watching to see how high you’ll jump to be with them. Use your discernment folks.

  • @Nonya3005
    @Nonya3005 Год назад +10

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. So many ppl “ghost” or act funny & then fade away without ever communicating. And they love to say “I don’t owe an explanation” instead of recognizing how immature and damaging it is and doing better. I’ve been hurt by this from “friends” and romantic interests. It’s sucks.

    • @keke2296
      @keke2296 Год назад +2

      Sometimes ghosting people is necessary. I ghosted a man who I had to beg to spend time with me, we had been dating for 5 months and I would only see him 1-2 times out of the week. It was always an excuse. Sometimes we would stay over each other's houses for days, but that was rare. I blocked him and moved on. He was pissed but I'm sure he was also happy I ghosted him so he finally be with who he wanted. So yes sometimes ghosting people is necessary. Life goes on and don't nobody got time for mind games.

    • @Cocaleen
      @Cocaleen Год назад +1

      I agree so much. These are all life lessons anyways. I love having open dialogue with mature minded people.

    • @Nonya3005
      @Nonya3005 11 месяцев назад

      @@keke2296if you had to “beg” him to spend time with you, then he knew what the problem was because you COMMUNICATED. Ghosting-meaning no warning, no explanation, no communication. A person is left not knowing what the issue is/was. IMO, you didn’t ghost. You just blocked someone who wouldn’t meet the needs you made him aware of.

    • @keke2296
      @keke2296 11 месяцев назад

      @@Nonya3005 I wasn't really begging, I would simply ask him from time to time. Me and him SPOKE ON THE PHONE EVERY SINGLE DAY, just didn't spend a lot of time with each other. He actually reached out a week later via social media after I blocked him, explaining how mad he was, but I ignored that BS. Case closed. This was a while ago, I'm in a great relationship now😊❤️ I was only justifying how "ghosting" someone is necessary. Ghosting someone is when you randomly, without explanation, drop all communication with someone and that's exactly what I did🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @MizzSweetTe
    @MizzSweetTe 8 месяцев назад +3

    I’m the cut off queen‼️

  • @tishaadams2366
    @tishaadams2366 10 месяцев назад +2

    This is so true. I talked to my ex situation person he hard to talk to but finally able to. He blocked now for good. My energy is renewed 💯😊

  • @bandmomNish
    @bandmomNish Год назад +2

    You can tell people and they still try to inflict pain that you expressed, some people just aren’t worthy. Some deserve that chance.

  • @kre8tivekels
    @kre8tivekels Год назад +15

    I saw this tittle and laughed so hard. LITERALLY JUST ENDED SOMETHING HOURS AGO LOLOL! Welp, let's watch anyways hahaha

  • @MARGO-ze3er
    @MARGO-ze3er Год назад +6

    Have tried time & time again to express myself gently, effectively. He Always "changes the subject,". Think he must "feel" that I've been pulling away ... And simply will Not Listen, gets defensive or twists facts to get impatient, unkind to me. He lacks the Emotional Maturity to have a "grown-up" conversation. Don't want to hurt him ... But too much time is being Lost waiting for him to hear/understand me. Enough is enough. Not even "in love" w him. On & off for 4 years and zero satisfaction with communication. Depressing & disconcerting. Know what I must do.

  • @OM-1111
    @OM-1111 Год назад +21

    We didn't have effective communication. I think my partner lost attraction or didn't think we were a fit. Simple as that. They didn't want to work it out. Hopeful that this breakup leads to my blessing.

    • @KKBlessed85
      @KKBlessed85 Год назад +2

      I’m in the same boat. I feel like after 6 months things got a bit weird. Hopefully we both get a great man of God

    • @VesaMasurica
      @VesaMasurica Год назад

      Amen🙏🏻

    • @andziagreen4922
      @andziagreen4922 Год назад

      Same here, no communication, avoidant traits🤷‍♀️

  • @carlaburrelmusic5851
    @carlaburrelmusic5851 Год назад +16

    This is so real lol. I’ve done it 😩 just dipped out. No convo lol. But usually it’s because they are exhibiting deal breaker behavior. But I do feel it’s good practice to at least have these conversations.

    • @Nonya3005
      @Nonya3005 11 месяцев назад +1

      It’s big if you to admit that. I agree, a conversation is good practice.

  • @toniaellen5271
    @toniaellen5271 Год назад +2

    I give closure, meaning reasons why I no longer will deal with a person person

  • @LifewithFlorence_265
    @LifewithFlorence_265 Год назад +6

    He's ghosting me and I'm ghosting him too😂😂

    • @andriavinithalobo5813
      @andriavinithalobo5813 Год назад +1

      Yeah i have been doing this lately. Doing exactly the things he has been doin

  • @carlycarls3104
    @carlycarls3104 Год назад +20

    Thanks for being you and not giving up. We appreciate you Stephan

  • @dawnkennedy5134
    @dawnkennedy5134 Год назад +2

    I totally agree on writing words out rather than saying them in person. I think I get more out of what I have to say writing it down rather than saying it out loud. I always tend to forget to leave out things or forget to say things when I have to speak it. Sometimes get distracted if they interrupt or if they say a lot themselves as well.

  • @akpenguin1859
    @akpenguin1859 Год назад +11

    When will you talk about the men who won’t leave us alone after we have talked through everything and broken up with them multiple times?

  • @nicholeNTCjackson
    @nicholeNTCjackson Год назад +5

    I swear I’m cutting him off he already knows I love him he just dragging me along. I’ve accepted he won’t be ready until years later/when I finally don’t respond. It’s been 4 years didn’t end bad but I liked him more than he ever did and I have to move on I can’t emotionally take it anymore maybe one day we’ll cross paths… right person wrong time 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @AndyyWithAY
      @AndyyWithAY 11 месяцев назад

      The man should always love you more. That man for you is out there. Free your heart to receive him in time

  • @lisaparrott3418
    @lisaparrott3418 Год назад +6

    Great video, but this only applies if the individual is unaware of the things they are doing 2 get cut off. Most narcissistic and toxic individuals are well aware of everything they do and could care less about the potential damage they can cause 2 anything relationship they have with anyone. Everything they come into contact with they polute in MY OPINION, this individuals dont deserve nor are they worthy of any conversation. I just cut them off and keep it moving, GOD, MY HAPPINESS, MY HEALTH AND PEACE OF MIND IS A PRIORTY. Love the videos, keep them coming. LOVE AND LIGHT 2 EVERYONE, AND HAVE A BLESSED NIGHT ALL💯

  • @CL-do5eq
    @CL-do5eq Год назад +5

    I just sent this guy a parting of ways message. Every time I try to go out on a date with him something crazy we’ll always happen like my car wouldn’t work or something crazy today what happened? Anybody else that I tried to go on a date with everything will be fine. I showed his picture to two people that I know and they told me that he looks like he’s up to something I have showed the other pictures of other guys and they don’t get the same by which is so weird. He is handsome, successful, tall, and everything but I can’t put my finger on it. I just could not connect the way that I wanted to even though we talked welk the phone together. He was at an extreme level of awe with me. It honestly was a bit too much because we did not get to even see each other or talk to each other as much so I just don’t want a stalker and I just never knew with him where he could turn out to be ladies always pay attention to your intuition. I have wise counsel around you to help guide you and most importantly pray.

  • @marialeon793
    @marialeon793 Год назад +4

    Am different I always cut people off am a Gemini but I just run into this so am listening

    • @marialeon793
      @marialeon793 Год назад +1

      Oh I have talked they just get it

  • @leylabayrak4612
    @leylabayrak4612 Год назад +1

    Ive been in a wrong relationship since last summer. I didn't want to start with him, i wasn't into him, but i like him as a person. I wanted to split up with him, expressed that many times, but he didn't want. Except that he started to ignore that conversation. Suddenly i became so crazy. And hurt him. Hurting him hurts me more, i realized it after a day. Plus he doesn't want to talk to me. I apologized many times......

  • @FloraGuidry
    @FloraGuidry Год назад +4

    There are plenty of relationship advisers online these days. Some advise is good and some is questionable.
    This young man seems to hit the mark in a positive way every time. I sometimes use his advise when working on “character development” for my books. ❤

  • @demetriajackson784
    @demetriajackson784 Год назад +21

    Yes I believe in cutting off without an explanation, just walk away and make them wonder. I love this method. Co workers, males, foes, acquaintances and etc.

    • @wj1915
      @wj1915 Год назад +1

      But why??? What does that do for anyone?

    • @demetriajackson784
      @demetriajackson784 Год назад +1

      @wj1915 this is what that does for me, setting boundaries with people, my health spiritually, emotionally, financially, and mentally. Peace you can not put a price on that and by any means necessary. Everybody deal with situations and circumstances differently. That’s why?

  • @Ms.Ameen_Braveheart
    @Ms.Ameen_Braveheart Год назад +1

    You always give the best advice. It's a superior suggestion to remind us to communicate with the person before we end the relationship. I hadn't heard from my Boo in three weeks. I sucked it up, was working on forgetting him and three weeks later, he texts me like nothing had changed in his heart. I didn't respond to him with emotion. As we communicated more, I discovered it was a miscommunication. Not having responded to him once out of hurt, he took it to mean I didn't want to be bothered. He said he forgot he stated he'd come back and respond. I remember him texting he'd respond later and he never did. Three weeks went by after that.
    Now that we're chatting again, I can clearly see the issue that was the overarching problem between us and we are addressing it now. Fix the problems, don't make the same mistake twice, you explained. Yep. Not sure if this will work in the long run but I feel healthy in terms of relating to him and I can handle it either way. Thank you.

  • @kbee322
    @kbee322 Год назад +4

    I’m in a situationship with this new guy. We just met a few days ago in person as a setup by a coworker but he lives 7 hrs away! Anyways we had great chemistry and fun banter the first night but second night he was a little distant and acted like he doesn’t care. Def giving me mixed vibes! Everyone that knows him says he’s just nervous and shy but at what point do you give up and say this isn’t going to work, I don’t think you’re interested enough. I should def have a conversation with him if we talk again… hopefully he doesn’t ghost me 😂

    • @silentnight9655
      @silentnight9655 Год назад +2

      You should know how he made you feel, trust me, when a man is interested he lets you know in no uncertain terms because he doesn't want YOU to lose interest. Nerves or no nerves.
      Trust your instincts.

    • @kbee322
      @kbee322 Год назад +1

      @@silentnight9655 so true thank you! I should have trusted my instincts. Lesson learned! FYI after our last interaction he did the slow fade and ghosted me. Shocker lol. Next!

    • @silentnight9655
      @silentnight9655 Год назад

      @@kbee322 Wasn't for you. Something clicks when you're right for each other. PS: No such thing as a shy man.

  • @theresaxoxo6051
    @theresaxoxo6051 Год назад +10

    Thanks for the videos Stephan . You videos have helped me so much in my relationship. Please never stop doing what you do. 😊

    • @lynnflores1503
      @lynnflores1503 Год назад +1

      I get what you are saying , but I cannot talk to someone who does not listen and has too much pride that they cannot hear.❤❤❤

  • @keke7238
    @keke7238 Год назад +3

    I get the point and I will be more aware in my next relationship!

  • @sabahbeyene9384
    @sabahbeyene9384 Год назад +2

    Glad I came across this.. I think I’m heading the right way 🤞🏾

  • @estherbabirye9422
    @estherbabirye9422 Год назад +2

    Thank you Stephen for this service. GOD BLESS YOU

  • @hadiahbulgin7101
    @hadiahbulgin7101 Год назад +7

    Thanks for this video. This is life changing advice for any relationship 👌🏾💯 Needed to hear it.

  • @donnalacy1564
    @donnalacy1564 Год назад +8

    What do you do if everything you say is taken in the wrong way...I can be as sweet and calm as I can be and he lashes out and according to him it's always my fault

    • @Grace-love79
      @Grace-love79 Год назад +11

      Maybe ask him this “ what did you hear me say, or can you repeat what you think I said”. Sometimes we hear differently than what was said. Please don’t take lashing out personal, that’s his behavior problem,it does not represent you. He wants someone to blame because he might not want to see himself. Sounds like you need to go into prayer and ask God if this person is meant for you.

    • @lorigray1150
      @lorigray1150 Год назад +3

      Narcissis..RUN

    • @mirelarajic579
      @mirelarajic579 Год назад +3

      He didn't heal, he's projecting his past issues on to you. You can't fix him, he needs to work on himself.

  • @rhonnieminnie
    @rhonnieminnie Год назад +3

    Cutting someone off without any communication is very unhealthy behavior in my opinion. Its very "hurt people hurt people" vibes. This "you dont owe anyone anything" culture has caused more harm than positivity.
    I just cut someone off and was VERY CLEAR why. We are both better off for that.

  • @Trina.G
    @Trina.G 10 месяцев назад

    Omg, I needed to here this Stephan. This was right on time.

  • @kayb5550
    @kayb5550 Год назад

    There are some people like relatives that will take your letter, use it as collateral and trash you to everyone they know just to play the victim. Not everyone has safe trust worthy people to healthily communicate to, i.e. such as a mother who is a narcissist. 😢

  • @mariaansola6649
    @mariaansola6649 Год назад

    I have try and he put up ,why you want to get closure face to face,if you don't want to be hospitalized or get dead.

  • @zaquishapriscilla6308
    @zaquishapriscilla6308 Год назад +4

    Thank for the topic. What if thw person had distanced themselves from you due to thier personal problems.

    • @mirelarajic579
      @mirelarajic579 Год назад +1

      For how long? If it's for a few days, that's resonable but you need to tell him what period of time is ok. for you. If it lasts longer that that, than he's just making excuses.

  • @DeborahDaniels-kq9pe
    @DeborahDaniels-kq9pe 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you I know now😊

  • @JackieS812
    @JackieS812 5 месяцев назад

    Amen and Amen! Great advice!❤

  • @TinaBeauty2000
    @TinaBeauty2000 Год назад +1

    I'd like to talk about this issue to see if it can be resolved.Only problem is when I be talking in regular tone he starts cussing and have attitude .Then gets silent.

  • @Thee_gentlemens_club
    @Thee_gentlemens_club Год назад +6

    Stephan never misses 😂

  • @LaughingLead
    @LaughingLead Год назад +1

    I cut him off cus he called me pathetic so byeee

  • @kerronewen3162
    @kerronewen3162 Год назад +3

    True, talk 👏👏

  • @shawanahickman6952
    @shawanahickman6952 Год назад +9

    I'm waiting on my kingdom spouse that's it that's all.and I am willing to talk

  • @alexislewis9080
    @alexislewis9080 Год назад

    Yeah I have I feel that my second love knows everything about me he is my best friend but u can't deal wit him but my soul mate Iwe have so many mis communication my heart is dying because he doesn't understand me

  • @shawanahickman6952
    @shawanahickman6952 Год назад +4

    I'm willing to talk

  • @Princessfrmalmighty
    @Princessfrmalmighty Год назад

    I cut this guy off because first he does not believe in God like I do and he's not a Christian like me and he couldn't even do the one thing I told him which was call me because I told him I don't like texting. I told him we can be cool but romantic no and I think he got mad about that. Smh I move on with my life.

  • @vanda3393
    @vanda3393 Год назад +1

    I made this mistake with my ex I stay way to long and I regret it very much

  • @shinep9658
    @shinep9658 Год назад

    I have this guy in my office who showed interest in me. I found out he is 2wice married and he also smokes and drinks a lot. He is in a senior position. I tried staying away from the canteen but whenever he sees me he tries locking eyes , smiles and shows he is interested. I got to know he wants to talk to me. I am really scared as there are lot of red flags in him like smoking, drinking and maybe he is also a womanizer. How to handle if he approaches me ? Pls help ladies.

  • @DeborahDaniels-kq9pe
    @DeborahDaniels-kq9pe 11 месяцев назад +1

    😂 now you tell me

  • @shaneensmith5016
    @shaneensmith5016 Год назад

    Thanks for video

  • @mannyfernandez1601
    @mannyfernandez1601 7 месяцев назад

    I have to ask if a person was truly into someone then how could it be so easy to cut a person off especially when it could be something as simple as a miscommunication? If it has the chance to be something real, why run away from that?

  • @nichelegibson1188
    @nichelegibson1188 Год назад

    Thx for this video

  • @fosterjanine5112
    @fosterjanine5112 Год назад +1

    If you don't love me, stop forcing yourself to love me!

  • @desislade1878
    @desislade1878 Год назад

    Facts

  • @radar4536
    @radar4536 3 месяца назад

    3.00 you say you will talk about “the letter” but there is no video about this?

  • @ManifestBestLife7
    @ManifestBestLife7 Год назад

    Already done ✔️

  • @CarmenMae-eu5pw
    @CarmenMae-eu5pw Год назад

    Listen u are with someone all ready that why u telling me u not ready to be no another woman so need to stop talking that all

  • @Greenandgold888
    @Greenandgold888 Год назад +1

    THANKS

  • @kamillaerdos7636
    @kamillaerdos7636 Год назад

    Dear Stephan would u make q videó about casual sex sitaltion i mean about its circumstances. Many people are facing to that situation when for long time they dont have partnership and they re thinking what shall they do. Lets say somebody struggle with find a good partner because she/ he s getting look elder or not elder but dont have great body shape...Casual sex biológical seems good for hormons but mentally not its very destroying when people just using each other body. And it bring a lot of negatív things for example waiting for the lover call u up or negative thoughts why he did like that why she said like this...And if u have a lover u pay too much attention to him / her and loose ur focus to ur good futur partner plus his / her negatív behave causes many negative feelings in u and u start to generálize the opposite sex people. Maybe a video needed to the people to make it clear its bad and good side.

  • @ElianaBatyah
    @ElianaBatyah Год назад

    Stephan how do you avoid getting involved in the first place? No one is teaching how to walk with God in complete singleness.

  • @sadiqua7
    @sadiqua7 Год назад

    Can’t have a conversation with a runner who’s a repeat offender. Quick text, then block. Move on. Hurts like hell, but this dude runs from adult conversations, no future here

  • @laurenpierce7723
    @laurenpierce7723 Год назад

  • @AreYOUMADDMAX_2015
    @AreYOUMADDMAX_2015 Год назад

    😮😮😮

  • @sarahkennedy1481
    @sarahkennedy1481 Год назад +1

    Surely if online dating and he is not responding to texts why would I ring to beg him. To me men chase women not women men.

  • @Petra.80
    @Petra.80 Год назад

    I just got your book from Amazon. I will get more if you could tell single brothers and sisters to stop funicating:-) Sex is off the table.. All the best!

  • @Touchedmymouthministriesint
    @Touchedmymouthministriesint Год назад +3

    May someone also be thinking that someone who cuts them off, now needs them again?
    Proverbs 24:17-18
    17 Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth,
    and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth:
    18 Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him,
    and he turn away his wrath from him.

  • @user-fh1tr9zp3l
    @user-fh1tr9zp3l Год назад

    Stephan talk about what ??
    Not to the grown man with the boy attitude
    They won't listen now
    If they were not listening before
    Man cut off asap

  • @sarahkennedy1481
    @sarahkennedy1481 Год назад

    To me is pointless as I never meet Christian men as none where I live single past 55 plus men online over 100 miles away so pointless