Episode 18 - "Nine" & The Enneagram
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
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New song debut: "Nine" - the 25th and final song in my Atlas: II series, and the 9th and final song in the Enneagram chapter - a song for each of the nine uniquely beautiful Enneagram types of personality.
In this 2hr+ episode, I tell the birth story of my song "Nine" - piece by piece, I explain the heart, intention and inspiration behind each lyric and sound in this song, and discuss who these sleepy and loving Enneagram Type Nines are with resident Enneagram master, Chris Heuertz.
Show Notes:
Get the song: "Nine" everywhere music is! fanlink.to/Atl...
All 9 Enneagram songs can be found here: fanlink.to/Enn...
Chris Heuertz' "The Sacred Enneagram" Book: amzn.to/2Dl4MBS
Sleeping At Last songs referenced:
"April 10, 2019: Powehi - Image of a Black Hole ": fanlink.to/Powehi
"Breathe Again" Cover: fanlink.to/SAL...
The most nine thing of me doing is crying to "Nine" and then listening to the other songs again because I want to understand these other people types so much better.
I concur. It's such a wonderfully poignant and lovely album. My favorite.
His talking voice is so smooth and his voice..I could play this video to sleep
ive done this haha
“Identify myself as type 9”
I KNEW IT
I just thought, “This guy must be type 9” because of how he wrote the lyrics
While listening to every other types, I thought “this guy is really good at trying to understand other people and trying to see why they specifically act like that”
And as a type 9 (myself), I just knew this guy is type 9
‘Cause it just felt like something type 9 would do and write
I've never cried so much in my life... Everything you said, it's like looking in a mirror and seeing myself.
I won't lay down my life story, let's just say I'm not in a great place at the moment, but this podcast resonates with me on such a deep level... I just want to save it somewhere so that I can keep listening to it, remind myself that I shouldn't shoot myself down, that it's okay to accept compliments, that I'm just as important as others... You get the gist of it.
So really, thank you for this. The song is beautiful. Take it from a fellow Nine, I mean this from the bottom of my heart : Your music means a lot to me, and I can't ever imagine being disappointed in one of your songs. Thank you for being here.
Ethelbell Bellethel i cried too
My moment of being hurt by finding out my type (9) didn’t happen when I read about it either. But that’s because it happened when I was a young teen, when I first tried to write in a diary. I thought my first entry ought to introduce myself, so I constructed a narrative of myself very awkwardly, almost in a frenzy. When I finished, and read back over it, I was appalled. It was completely unsubstantial, full of shallow generalizations and statements that didn’t resonate with me at all. It wasn’t open and honest, like a diary should be, it was a mirror image of the mask I put on for the rest of the world. This realization shook me to my core and for the first time forced me to ask myself: what am I missing? I felt compelled to erase everything I’d written in that diary, and start over (which involved a lot of frustration and painful anger directed at myself). And since then, I have taken many long years to slowly understand myself.
Also, the lines “I’ve been less than half myself for more than half my life” and “how do I forgive myself for losing so much time” are both really heartbreaking lines that really speak to this pain. Thank you so much for your music; I’m really glad you’ve grown from it too.
I felt the same way about diaries as a kid and I literally remember thinking my life wasn't really interesting and there wasn't anything important enough to write down even in that space meant only for myself.
“Why stand when I could sit?
Why sit when I could lay down?”
“Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.”
Couldn’t agree more. 😂😂😂
I identify as a 2 a 9 and a 6 in that order mostly a 2 and a 9. Sleeping at last’s song “Two” virtually changed my life and it perfectly represented how I love, feel, and what I live for. Not only that my girlfriend has the exact same story of his song “Eight”. It was a beautiful, powerful, and, just like “Two”, a perfect representation of how, I believe, she lives and loves and feels. I have been looking forward to this song ever since I found this artist and this series and what it all meant.
Thanks man you are doing really amazing and beautiful work
-friendly listener😊
Wow so do I! I forget if it was the same order lmao, I think I was more a 9 and 6, but I can’t believe how much I can identify with my those songs. So beautiful
I’d say I feel some of the things 2s do, but solely identify as a 9. Two was an insane rollercoaster for me, but 9 was a complete punch in the face of realization haha
2, 9, and 8 made me weep. Though, I resonate with every song to my core.
i'm a 926! nine and two hit hard for me, especially nine. nine had me crying. two didn't make me cry but some lines hit so hard. i don't think i particularly reacted to six, though 🤔
This man is a gift to the world. I hope one day to 'wake up' like he has.
Let me just say that I am not ready. Let's go.
Edit now that I've heard the song:
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready in the slightest. I identify with some of the other songs as well, yes, but this one hit me like a truck. I may be crying quite a lot, but I feel a lot more alive as well. Y'know, the wait for the song to start was a really difficult thing, I just wanted to get it over with already in a sense... I'm glad I had the wait, and let me tell you, I did indeed use that chance to push watching this a bit further into the future...... I'm glad I got to hear this though. Stuck it's finger into some bruises and wounds but then gently put a bandaid over them. The line about being numb in a way since you were fourteen... Yeah.
I am someone who has a chronic illness, one that wasn't diagnosed for a long time, so I spent years upon years watching my mother give every piece of herself trying to help me stay healthy, taking me to places to try to make me happy, trying so hard to help me get help.. and I could hardly bare it. I kinda started the whole "pushing things down" around that time.
I don't know. I'm rambling. Just know that you have made something truly beautiful, as you always manage to do, and that you've made me really listen. You've made me listen and try to actually feel all of this. Thank you so, so much. And now that I've calmed down from my ugly crying, it's time to listen to it again.
Thank you for writing the enneagram series, and thank you for sharing yourself with us in this way. It hits hard.
Oh, and I just wanted to say, the song "anger"? It's very helpful. I've yelled and punched a wall to that a few times in my life. Good stuff.
Another edit: stO P CALLING ME OUT
"we need to tell people who they are"
i was crying
no fair
edit: im a type nine too
Yayyyy! I've been impatiently waiting! I'm a type nine and oh my, I'm so happy right now!
Being a 9, this fills me with lots of different emotions. I have already started my inner growth journey mainly through my mbti type (infp-t) discovery 2-3 years ago as well as some realization at some point that I had to take this journey to avoid falling in deeper levels of depressive and anxiety symptoms (your songs played their role too in my growth and I am so so grateful for them to exist). Still, I haven't much looked at myself through the lens of being a 9. Your voice and Chris' interventions were sometimes a great reminder to acknowledge how far I've come and sometimes to how much of a work of progress it always is to simply Be.
Thank you for sharing the birth story of this wonderful song.
I just listened to this song, and I realized how much of my story is in it. Ive been asleep in myself, so I’ve fallen into anxiety and depression for so long. Finally, I’m getting help to recover. Im hopeful that I may get better, but it’s still such a daunting task. Thank you so much for inspiring us to reach out and find ourselves!
NINE
who am i
to say what any of this means-
i have been sleepwalking
since i was fourteen.
now as i write my song,
i retrace my steps.
honestly, it’s easier
to let myself forget.
still, i check my vital signs.
choked up, i realize
i’ve been less than half myself
for more than half my life.
wake up.
fall in love again,
wage war on gravity.
there’s so much
worth fighting for.
you’ll see.
another domino falls
either way.
it looks like empathy,
to understand all sides,
but i’m just trying to find myself
through someone else’s eyes.
so please show me what to do
to restart this heart of mine.
how do i forgive myself
for losing so much time?
wake up.
roll up your sleeves.
there’s a chain reaction
in your heart,
muscle memory
remembering who you are.
stand up.
fall in love again and again and again.
wage war on gravity.
there’s so much
worth fighting for,
you’ll see.
another domino falls
and another domino falls
a little at a time,
i feel more alive.
i let the scale tip and feel all of it,
it’s uncomfortable but right.
we were born to try,
to see each other through.
to know and love ourselves and others well
is the most difficult and meaningful
work we’ll ever do.
Ryans voice is so soothing. Ik your dog is looking down from up above proud of what his owner father has accomplished.
yup! "no way to be a dad and keep my heart in the background." my kids were my wake-up call! Thank God! Thanks for sharing your process!
Nine enneagrams, eight instruments, two albums, one word... Beautiful 💖
Thank you so much for all the incredible works that you have so greatly blessed us with. Youve changed my life in great ways with your beautiful art.
Ryan, thank you so much for opening your heart and pouring it in to my soul. You've been a wonderful blessing in my life and filled my heart so much. I'm a type 9 too, and this resonates with me. Especially the part about fighting gravity. I've wasted so much time.
I've loved hearing how much you've put into these songs, I broke when I heard this song the first few times. Thank you for this, for choosing to become a musician, for taking it upon yourself to actually compose music that touches each of these personalities with such grace.
This is a wonderful wonderful podcast- I loved it. It hurt me. But I loved it.
Thank you for sharing so much and congratulations!
I completely broke down during the choir singing. Glorious!
This was such an amazing conclusion to the album, while I myself am a type 5 this song really resonated with me, and made me cry (which several songs in Atlas have) I look forward to listening to the full album again!
'I feel like it's so hard for nines to take those ups and downs of life and constantly compress it, keep those waters calm.'
Yesssssss!
Your songs are only thing that keeps me alive. I'm so emotional listening to your songs. But they've made me stronger. They're so lovable.
"Why stand when you could sit, and why sit when you could lay down" and "Don't give up on your dreams, keep sleeping" - lol too relatable
I love you so much!! Keep up the amazing work Ryan! Don’t ever stop making music, because I can’t live without it! 💜
Thank you so much for this. It’s very humbling and insightful to learn more about my type this way. I never understood the “sloth” thing before this and now it’s so clear to me. Thank you for the song and the advice and for your vulnerability throughout all of these songs.
I just finished watching it at 1am and I honestly never felt how I'm feeling right now
It's scary how telling and timely this song is. Makes me feel like I'm not alone just now "waking up"
It is such a blessing to know you through your work. I am so glad that all those years back, I found your songs. As the enneagram EP ends with this work of yours, I am truly hopeful you will continue to move our hearts with your beautiful and soulful work. Bless you for bringing these beautiful joys in our lives. ❤
when I listened to the song I didn't get what he meant with the domino thing, now I feel totally identified with that explanation. I wish someone took some decisions for me, and I keep waiting for it to happen cuz the problem right now is.. no choice is gonna have a good outcome anymore, and I'll end up disappointing someone else once more time. And it feels terrible.
I love all your enneagram songs. 💗
thankyou so much for pouring love and heart into this series as with your works in general; all of the songs have been so touching, and it's great to feel so personally connected to such beautiful music :"(
Mi native languague is spanish and I don't understand all that Ryan says, but it's beautiful to listen about one of my favorite songs with all feelings that he has and the story behind him lyrics
Thank you so much thank you so much this is really beautiful.the song, the album , all of your song is a masterpiece . Thank you so much again . Thank you.
I’ve been on a journey to try and figure myself out and find out who I am as a person. So far it hasn’t been going great. I didn’t know where to start or what I wanted to know about myself but this song, it shook me to my core. This song has put my feelings I didn’t even know I had into words. I feel more in touch with myself now than before this song started. I feel understood and safe. I feel like I’m the one that’s being protected and that it’s okay to let my feelings out now. I feel like I don’t have to be strong and that I can relax.
It’s amazing how life changing five minutes can be. Thank you Ryan for giving me and the world this gift that is nine.
So much crying, thank you so so very much for this magic. Crying again.
TIMESTAMPS SINCE THERE ARENT ANY ON HERE:
0:00- ~intro
3:29- ~
5:14- ~Chris Heuertz enters
8:00- ~Enneagram 9 overview
17:03- ~Childhood wounds
23:00- ~Full song
28:56- ~Writing experience
48:45- ~Lyric analysis
58:25-~More on 9 by Chris
Maravilloso!!!
I love all of these lyrics! They are art!! One of my favorite albums so far 💛
Omg!!! , comenzar el día con sleeping, gracias Ryan por tu arte... :-D
This song really spoke to me. I didn't know anything about the Enneagram until I heard it. Took the test and it turns out I'm a 9.
I find it interesting how, as a nine, I'm particularly drawn to your song called "Anger"; it's the one emotion that hits the strongest when it does, and it's the only emotion that really pulls me back into reality - however briefly it lasts.
I'm a type nine on the nose. Can't wait to hear the song 🙂
I’m a Type 9, INFP-T, Cancer/Gemini and this song resonates so much.
Midnight Denizen I’m a type 9 cancer as well
Type 9, Gemini! How are you both cancer and Gemini
Thank you Ryan i am a nine too.You touched my soul.
I heard the song but didn't really understand the dominos part. Now it makes a lot more sense and I totally relate. A tip i have used for myself in some time have been:" No one knows what choice is best and no one can predict the outcome of a choice." Essensially, you cannot predict how the dominos are going to fall.
And its scary as hell to let the dominos fall. More often I find myself pausing these decisions to avoid them falling, which is ultimately not good because it exhausts me inside my brain.
For example, I've had this friend of mine for a long time and several times we have talked about engaging in a relationship. I love spending time with her and she is very dear to me, and yes attractive. But i'm so afraid i will mess it up and lose everything that I have right now, so I haven't come to terms with any decision regarding any relationship, and so I paused myself, which is ultimatelly exhausting in a way that is difficult to describe.
But anyways, I find your song and this podcast very eye-opening. I feel like i learned a lot about myself and i hope i can wake up, fall in love and open my heart more. And i hope everyone in here will be able to do the same, such good vibes to be found here! :)
It is 3 years later since i made this comment on this video.
No one will probably ever read this, but I can proudly say that I took a chance 3 years ago, made a choice, let the dominoes fall and now I'm happily engaged to this exact girl from my comment
Turns out the dominoes were always supposed to fall and were just waiting for a tiny gentle push.
What a beautiful song. Thank You. Now on to the rest of the Episode...
This was a really nice video throughout. I am glad that I have just learned of you and your channel. Thanks.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love your work.
You are wonderfoul!
Your voice is wonderfoul!
Your music is wonderfoul!!!
❤❤❤🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🥀🥀🥀
Greetings from Pisa Italy!❤💖🇺🇲❤
I'm completely awake now. Thank you so much😭😁
I'm not a type 9 but I'm so excited for this
Everything that's said is too accurate.
I cried at the end
At 4:08. I have quoted that exact saying by Bob Goff, and, in fact, just quoted it a week or so ago!
Tears
OMG YES ITS COMING 😭❤
This happened to me a few days ago, actually still happening that's why I'm re-listening to this podcast, when this one person in my life keep on stirring unnecessary emotional turmoil around her. For so long, I'm trying very hard to see things in her perspective, and I see her as this beautiful and flawed being but it's causing my mind and emotion too much energy exhaustion that I spent my day off just lying on bed doing useless things so I could turn this all off and be mindless for awhile. And I realized how I always put first everyone's perspectives and feelings before mine and felt guilty when I realized that I'm harboring ill feelings towards this person. Because for me it's always better to understand someone than to hate or dislike them outright. It's against my conscience to do otherwise... But, it's draining me so much.... Ughh, fortunately, I have this to go to to remind myself to wake up and be 100% alive.
I do really love this song
I love this song you are still my favourite
Jesssussssss ❤❤
No entiendo inglés:) apenas unas frases. Pero te amamos Ryan, a ti y a tu bella música ❤
Ali Ventura. Estámos en la misma situación...una lastima, sin embargo su música la entendemos en el corazón.
Habla aquí de los nueve puntos del eneagrama?.
💎Un cordial saludo
We he played the song at the end I wasn't able to find any of the fingerprints besides that one part of the song where the chorus and strings grow loud
I ugly cried a lot and I believe I probably lost weight from all the tears. But gained insight.
I'm type 9w8 😋😋so, I kinda relate to this 😊😊(INTP and ENFP)
The cynicism and lassitude if a d unhealthy nine has lulled me into a harmless and meaningless existence for years.
My son is helping me wake up. He really needs me. Nothing has broken my heart more viscerally than when I realized I have been prioritizing my comfort over his deep need to be seen, known and interacted, even argued with and pushed back against.
now that I am aware of all of this I am not sure if I am just shutting down once again and failing to open my heart or if It just wasn't right and all this time I've been ignoring it as a type 9 would certainly do to avoid conflict and disappointment..
~40:00 he shaped my taste in music
i feel called out-
Type 9 squad!!
Private radio 😍
Eu daria um dedo pra entender mais que poucas frases deste podcast 🐝
Oof my opinion matters really hits me. My family is a bunch of brick walls who don't necessarily hear me. They love me but they're broken like me too. So I never felt like my opinions mattered. Thanks
😍😍😍😍
🙃🧡uwuuuuuu
BRo Im not even joking....I felt they were just talking about me. Like with everything that’s happened in my life and how I dealt with it I didn’t even know I was dealing with until now
I am a nine, and i realize why im still single right now. i see relationship of my brothers and friends are not harmony. I am afraid what if i do conflict after marriage. I don't know how to survive
o may god
I looked it up last night. And answered way to vague on alot of questions. Mabe because i work alot and still need to get to understand myself. I was very upset by what it categorized me. I dont feel like the things it said was me at all. Ibhave been working so hard on myself for a while now. Mabe im just trying to make my way to someone else. I woke up with despair.
what does he means by "another domino falls"?
He talks about the dominoes part beginning at 48:42
😍💖
can someone pls drop the link to the personality test? :(
I'm also a nine!
I'm a type 9 too
I am primarily type 9 and I still don't know how I can empathize with myself. That is like latin to me. I think my heart is on mute.
😍😭😍😭🙏
Where can I read the lyrics?
Where can i find the podcasts for the other types?
Spotify.
I actually might be a nine, ive thought I was a two for so long tho that even considering it is weird
You have a 1 wing don’t u
I’m a type 2