The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
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Jordan Harbinger is a former Wall Street lawyer who learned how to effectively network and build relationships to survive in a competitive industry. Years and millions of podcast episode downloads later, he now uses this skill to bring and interview guests on The Jordan Harbinger Show with the goal of giving listeners insight on how to become a better version of themselves. The man Forbes named 1 of the 50 best relationship experts anywhere explains why your network means more than names on a list on this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu.
SHOW NOTES:
Jordan tells how he ended up giving tours in North Korea and his attraction to the forbidden. [2:56]
Jordan details his early path into podcasting and it’s evolution into a business. [6:50]
Jordan explains how he overcame his shyness as a youth. [15:20]
Jordan describes a method for developing body language and esteem and the value of deliberate practice. [17:55]
Jordan talks about the art of learning and the value of having a coach. [23:48]
Jordan and Tom discuss the process of building relationships and common mistakes people make. [27:07]
Jordan touches on reinventing himself and his brand. [35:31]
Jordan breaks down the relationship between action and suffering. [45:00]
Jordan reveals the impact he wants to have on the world. [48:16]
QUOTES:
“A question I will always ask people who think that they're not good at something is how they know that they're not good at it. Usually, the answer has to do with the environment that they learn in or the set up their learning process and very rarely with their actual talent.” [23:55]
“Action ends suffering.” [46:32]
FOLLOW JORDAN HARBINGER:
WEBSITE - bit.ly/2IHuaqQ
TWITTER - bit.ly/2kgjxNe
FACEBOOK - bit.ly/2s5oz2M
LINKEDIN - bit.ly/2kiGpMd
INSTAGRAM - bit.ly/2GIscRi
PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Neil Strauss - bit.ly/2lCRABY [4:15]
PODCAST MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Jordan Harbinger Show - bit.ly/2GKmgr8 [2:17]
IMPACT THEORY MERCHANDISE: Check out Impact Theory's Merch Shop: bit.ly/ImpactTh...
This was a really fun show. Thanks again for having me on and thanks to everyone watching for their attention. I hope to count many of you as fans of The Jordan Harbinger Show in the near future!
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW wow I remember listening to your show years ago. Your advice changed my life to help build me to who I am today. Super grateful. Going to relisten to your show all over again this week!
okay...you are a genius. I always notice these 'covert contracts' from people and but I didn't know what to call it, I did it sometimes too. You helped me alot, so thank you so much I hope other people watch this and learn too
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW I first caught wind of you on your previous show and have followed you over. Your content is amazing and having a podcast of both you and Tom is amazing. By far my two favorite podcasts!!!
Thanks Jordan! Great stuff. Dig the well before you're thirsty, Give without expectation of return, Don't keep score. Be a Value Arbitrator - help people who need each other find each other. Let me know if I can help your show in any way : D RP
Master Networker
Summary of Jordan Harbinger's rules for powerful friendships/relationships:
1. Dig the well before you are thirsty. (Start and nurture relationships before you need any type of help)
2. Give without expecting anything in return and without any attachment.
3. Do not keep score. (Don't think things like "I did this for you so now you owe me a favor.")
Bonus: 4. Do good things for others when you can. If someone did something nice for you try to help them if/when and however you can. Help others even if they haven't done anything for you, and do it without asking for anything in return.
I dig it!
Thanks
I know it is hard for most of us to not have attachment when we help others. We are just so used to thinking now we have something good coming in return or actually owed from that person. Instead good will come from our deeds but not exactly the way we think. Maybe another person from our network with help with something we need,
Mind shift!! I realising I’m often a taker and I take score a lot, I also have two people in my family that won’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them. Time to think about how I can help others more.
Thank you!!!!
"Every second you spend feeling sorry for yourself you're wasting your time" - @40:40
Truuuuuuuuth
nice one.
We sometimes should go through these emotions though and then CRUSH IT. hard to sometimes ignore it.
GREAT POINT, Siim!
You Sir are always come up with the best comments.
How nice it is to watch an interview where the interviewer lets the guest speak without interrupting. Interesting and inspiring interviews, always!
Exactly, one of the things I can't stand of Gary Vee is that he can't stand other people being the center of attention. Tom is really cool
"Don't waste time making short term money when you have a long term goal!" I relate to this so much
BOOM ;)
They say life is 50% what you know and 50% who you know. Make friends with the right kind of people!
indeed.
I am so grateful that I live in a time where there is awesome content like this available FOR FREE - sometimes I just can't believe how lucky I am.
True , I am staggered by the knowledge and I remember the days before the net. I believe there is more to come. Esp in the educational field. It's quite possible that alot of educational information seminars could be free online. Infact theoretically knowledge of this type should be freely available.
6:40
Networking is the name of the game
8:20
Just record
15:45
Quote
16:06
First impressions is without talking
20:30
Upgrade your weakness and practice your strengths
21:40
How do you know you are good at it?
Great question
23:55
Coaches are great.
Find it as early as you can.
24:40
Help others with no return.
And keep communications like that (Noah Kagan)
27:00
Start relationship before contacting them.
Ask to help people before attachment to getting something in return
30:10
Don't keep a score of helping
32:17
Summary of relationships
36:00
How to approach the person you interview
38:28
Have income
Of year or 6 months no matter what happens
39:30
Quote
I have watched just about every episode, some even twice,but have never left a comment... That needs to change, I want to get involved! Jordan was so real and authentic. He eloquently talked about the importance of human connection and I really needed to hear that. I loved how when you mentioned how he reached out to you earlier, he didn’t even remember, but it still held true to what he was preaching throughout the interview. It shows how he is living what he is saying, and it was a great example of how genuine connection with others is critical to long term success. I love it Tom! I plan on showing myself and my voice much more around here, thank you for giving me the opportunity and platform to do just that! Take care.
Thanks so much Ashley! You're so kind!
I hope to count you as a fan of The Jordan Harbinger Show someday as well!
💕
Tom is the master of intros. I’m glad he’s shortened them to be even more exciting.
The art of brevity is truly impactful!!
Tom - you are exceptional at listening...I've learned so much from you just by watching you listen intently to people. Thank you!
-Luis
Thank you! Very kind.
One of the few people who actually break it down and show how they got to the top
Action ends suffering because faith without works is dead. Incredible interview - thanks Impact team!
That doorway thing is like practicing daily positive affirmations, rewiring our mindset, which changes our actions etc, i luv it!
kind of, only it builds a real habit and isn't just positive affirmations (pseudoscience)
1. Dig the well before thirsty
2. Give without expectation or attachment of getting
3. Do not keep score
I think this is going to change my life. Thank you Jordan, and props to Tom for asking such a question @26:15
nice -great list. Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Hahaha yea man,
I stumbled upon you when you did an episode with Vanessa Van Edwards, and I immediately subscribed to your RUclips channel - Da Ding-Ding Cha ; )
I also downloaded Stitcher just so I could listen to your full show. So yeah... I'm a fan
And man, if you ever find yourself in Malaysia, hit me up... I'll show you around!
oh nice. Thanks!
Yes, we also love Jordan Harbinger show also! Thanks so much for showing up here since we get best leads of who to listen to by listening to Tom Bilyeu’s impact theory!
I took copious notes which is a rarity for me. That abundance mindset shines through.Jordan, I want more !
glad to hear it! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Dude this was excellent advice and such a humble dude! Main takeaway - Ask people how you can help them, and expect nothing in return. I've noticed this lately as I've had friends ask me to help them with things I didn't even know I could help them with! Much love Jordan and thanks Tom for bringing such an awesome talk out into the universe!
you're welcome Bryan! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I discovered Impact Theory after listening to Tom Bilyeu's interview on Jordan Harbinger's old podcast show, and I've been listening to Impact Theory ever since. So, it looks like things have come full circle!
Nashking20 darn I must have missed that one, might still be there though. I know that they have removed many episodes.
ha! That's great! I'm so glad we introduced you to Tom and now you're back watching me on I.T.!
Love the authenticity. Always a great interview if it's impact theory. Love Tom's depth of research, excavative questioning, and though he asks the best questions and can even better articulate someone's response than the they can at times, he remains translucent allowing the full completion of the response. Master of his craft! Jordan was awesome and genuine. It is much appreciated on this side of the screen. Thank you both!
Thanks Jesse! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Yet another FANTASTIC show Tom. Jordan is one of the most intelligent, funny and simply awesome guys you can learn from. His Jordan Harbinger Show is my go to podcast nowadays, along with Kevin Rose, Tim Ferriss and Peter Attia. Topics he covers are very wide, you can learn everything from dating apps to management techniques and he has a very, very unique style. Also, his Networking course is pure gold. Simple and effective, actionable advice you can incorporate immediately. Tom, thanks for bringing this guy on the show!
Thanks for the kind words!
These interviews... I've heard some of these people before on podcasts and I used to be a subscriber to The Art of Charm. Seeing these people on IT, I always end up opening a notepad on my computer and typing in takeaways to review later and important quotes from these shows. This channel is golden and Jordan was an awesome interview.
Thanks Jay! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
DIG THE WELL BEFORE YOU'RE THIRSTY! Now I have phrase for the things I've experienced the last few years. Another great reason: DO IT JUST BECAUSE BRINGING OTHERS JOY BRINGS YOU JOY! Being resentful is a result of premeditated expectations caused by covert contracts!! Thanks so much, Tom & Jordan!
you're welcome! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
Wow ! I love Jordan he's a really special human being. That was a the quickest 49 mins, it honestly felt like a five min chat. Good luck in all you do sir. Peace
thank you! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I've never been so engaged in my life with just listening to someone talk. He makes Jim Rohn looks normal. He kept my attention although he has the same tone with the same soft pitch. This dude uses simple analogies and examples which anyone could understand and learn from. You truly have earned my attention Jordon Harbinger
hey thank you! this is so kind of you to say. Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I had never heard of Joran till just now. I had watched several of your shows before Tom so knew whoever he was, it would be good. Wow....It was Great! I listened so intently, it was like I was breathing in every word. What I mostly heard was a great deal of opportunity as the core of his success as in " it just so happened " several times. It gives me hope as I am preparing to move forward in my life. I have been at a job for 10 yrs and besides physically needing to leave, I need to expand my horizons for bigger and better things. It's opportunity I need to come to me a it has in the past to bring me to a place where it won't be so much work as it will be fun and passion. Thanks for interviewing this very dynamic individual.👍
Thanks Trisha! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
It's not good to compare two great things, but hey tom i enjoy your impact theory more than ted talks because you go in deep.
Wow! I'll take that compliment! Thank you!
Tom Bilyeu Thank you for your precious reply tom 😆.
Impact Theory is def better than TED because of the interaction and the depth.
I agree with you Jordan and Automobile about the interaction. Ted is good for shorter overview but may not cover all points.
1. Dig the well before you are thirsty 2. Give without expecting anything in return 3. Do not keep scores. Thanks for the wise words, really helpful
Tom Bilyeu offers such awesome interviews-great selections,- great questions, great responses, great lessons! Thank you so much for your fabulous contributions to the community!😁
someone (a user or a guest) once noted that Tom has the BEST INTROs for all of his guests. so well written & presented. Tom, you're doing such a great job.
that was me actually...on this full episode.
what do you mean? anyway, I love how you come back and check the comments. Jesus, can this get any better? 🙌🙌🙌
America’s military industrial establish can learn frim Tom Bilyeu’s Impact Theory and Jordan Harbinger show in their generosity and fearless/not competitive creative and collaborative Spirit!
I absolutely love these videos so much, they've impacted me in a way that makes a simple thank you not enough but thank you is what I can do. Have a great day Tom Bilyeu and Crew.
Thank you! That's very kind!
Don't skip a bit! wow, this guy is so good!!! Thank you Tom!
thanks Dona! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
I love Jordan Harbinger! Every pore of my body and my “ear balls “ is soaking up the important information he shares!
Thank you 🙏😌
" *Every second you spend feeling sorry for yourself is a total waste of time.* "
" *Put your pants back on and get back to work* "
" *The one thing that made me feel better, was getting back to work* "
Possibly the most important words in your life ever.
Perfect message for me today. I am just recently coming to appreciate how much coaching can be such a catalyst for rapid growth.
definitely!
That was worth all the 48.57 minutes spend here. Thank you.
I am so glad you made this happen so people could follow examples and bring all of us closer
Every time I listen, I think, "This one is my favorite!" THIS ONE GOES DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE !
Thanks Jane!
Both of you are sooo awesome!!! Thank you so much!!!❤
I’ve paused this quite a few times to make “hello how are you doing...’what can I do to help’ phone calls within the last two hours and it felt good! Thanks for dropping jewels!
you're welcome! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I watched/listened to one of them just this morning in my *save for later* you've got a new supporter! Thanks!
Hey Tom , you are really a great interviewer no interruptions at all. You have done the research in advance . That’s how impact theory has become a great show. Lucky I have subscribed you long time ago. Hope to have more interesting and eye opening shows like this in the future. Thanks
I love this vídeos. I haven't watched mainstream media in years. Don't even trust it anymore, but Tom is awesome
LOVE how authentic Jordon Harbinger is. Grateful for this episode.
Thanks Mandy! Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show?
I subscribed to your channel once I found you here. Will do!!!
welcome!
Very openly spoken. Thanks a lot.
"Dig the well before you´re thirsty"
- in the case of relationships @27:30
- in the case of money @39:18
nice!
Tom;u r a legend 🙌 even after not being well u r doing your work!!u inspire me to work harder!!
Thank you! Very kind!
THIS IS GREAT STUFF! Tom, you are changing lives. Thank you.
Thank you! So glad the content adds value!
This IT'S absolutely crucial to hear!! --- "Action Ends Suffering"
Yes!
Extremely powerful advice on how one can build confidence and true relationship. Great episode as always!!
The advice he gave on reaching out to others, givng without expecting anything in return, is key.
Bro your interviews are so powerful! Thank you for your work!!
Yep, that's it! I'll have two regulars now. I can already tell that The Jordan Harbinger show will be one of my things. :)
You, Jordan Harbinger, sir, you are definitely someone I want to learn from. A truly great episode this was. Definitely one of my favorites here at Impact Theory!
Cheers!
Thanks Matiss!
Thank you so much...
My father always tells us to be focus on human investment than money... So happy to hear people like u too validate and upgrade one of my guide line in life.
Thank you so much
Thank you both Tom and Jordan. The best part is your vulnerability on your part Jordan . Thank you so much for all your great content . Well appreciated when I was wanting to wallow in self pity 😊. I will now take ACTION. Much love
Thanks! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
This is so awesome, I totally identified with the growing into the confidence as people start treating you differently. I definitely had shaky self-esteem and as I started to get more positive feedback on TikTok, it's like I have grown into that confidence and it's mine now. There's definitely something about the sheer scale and volume of feedback that changes a person.
When he talks about feeling the imposter syndrome, boom, I've felt like that. It's honestly been only the last couple of months I feel more sure of me. Just how he describes it, it's not a fake veneer, it's like you finally believe in yourself. Not second guessing myself all the time, not looking at everyone else and wondering, how are they so sure of themselves? How do they KNOW?
I was watching The Last Dance on Netflix and it struck me that the basketball players didn't deflect compliments or use the crying/grateful emoji every time someone showed them appreciation. They were themselves. And just got on with things.
And this caused me to ask myself, why am I behaving like I'm so unworthy and so surprised to receive any crumb of appreciation, positive feedback. Like I have to get on my hands and knees and say thank you over and over again. It was an aha moment.
Awesome interview, thanks so much. So freaking grateful that we live in a time where we can access info like this! Yay!
thanks for watching! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
@@JordanHarbingerShow I do!
Great job Tom, finding your channel has been the best thing in my life. Totally life changing, thank-you!
This is one of the best channels in YT 💓
making powerful friends and networking is sooooo underrated! for me tim ferriss is the master in that. seriously, is there anyone in the personal development realm he is not friends with? absolutely mind-blowing!
i really hope to have tim on my channel some day and ask him about that!
wondering why you said that here...*thinking emoji*
Exceptional conversation.
Thank you for another great episode Tom.
I guess you are leading by example doing the show while having a cold.
Wish you a speedy recovery.
Thank you! All better now.
most people don't build relationships before they need them...they're not thinking about digging that well before they're thirsty....yes!
This was one of my favourite shows!!! Thanks so much for this interview ❤️
glad you dig it! Lmk what you think of The Jordan Harbinger Show if you get a chance to listen there as well.
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW I will watch it later and let you know.
This Video is a GEM.
I feel like he teaches Ubuntu. African principles of how to treat fellow human beings
never heard of that, but sounds like my kind of 'buntu' ;)
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW There are many BANTU communities in almost all nations in Africa. Most popular language is Swahili where a person is referred to as "mtu". Swahili is laced with words Dr the Bantu and Arab languages ."Ubuntu" will in this case refer to being human. If that is the opposite of carnal? Because Hans are supposed to care about each other as opposed to how animals would behave. In Swahili, this human trait is referred to as "utu". Being human. Not accurate probably but close to the point.
@@phanicewamukota3006 That's so cool :o I never knew. That's quite likely also what the operating system was named after :)
This episode is probably the best one! So far.
high praise! I hope you'll also enjoy The Jordan Harbinger Show if you like this one so much!
Monumentally self aware guy, very rare ‼️
it took years. thank you! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
This is one of the best talks I've listened too!! Good job guys!
Thanks! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
I so needed this! One of the best episodes so far! 👏🏼
Thanks Bonita!
Great interview! He is so right about the covert contracts. That dynamic he's referring to with the covert contract is called "caretaking" and it's a trait of "Codependency". It's when people do things they don't really want to do and then expect something in return. There is also "Caregiving" where people do things just because they WANT to and there is no expectation of reciprocation. Caregiving is healthy, like the guy who gave the dentist recommendation. Caretaking is not healthy, it is codependent. It's very important to never do something you don't DESIRE to do, regardless of the person's response. Do it only because you want to do it, not because you think they will respond in one way or another. Doing something you don't really want to do in an effort to get somebody to do something for you or think of you a certain way or whatever, is actually manipulative and dishonest. Just do what you love and say "no" to things you don't get joy from doing.
Thanks! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
Wow, i feel so inspired after watching this interview! Thank you, Tom, for bringing Jordan on the show! Both of you guys are so amazing, i can't tell you how thankful i am to know of you.
You got it Sohee! You a fan of The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
No, I unfortunately haven't been a fan yet because I wasn't aware of your existence. Soon to be a fan though!
JHS is my favorite podcast! ⭐️
am autistic (aspergers) so am happily introverted, yet i've unmet needs in regards to networking, socail, etc.
thank you both for giving me this much valuable stuff to think about and act upon.
you're welcome!
"Action ends suffering" @43:57 Love it!!!
So much value in this interview. Been listening to Jordan and Impact Theory for a while and it's amazing to see what comes of a meeting between two amazing well-articulated people! It's like seeing a great crossover episode of two superheroes, but with so much more usable wisdom!
Haha! Amazing!
Thanks Emily! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
THE JORDAN HARBINGER SHOW Yes! Thank you so much for creating it! You have some top-quality content that's super approachable and practical.
The after impact was amazing for this one too. Your story about having crippling anxiety in front of family really was SO relatable. You give me hope that I can get better!
I absolutely love this one! Congratulations for another golden episode! I relate so much. It feels so empowering to see what he became. To see that he overcame his painful shyness that I often battle with. To see he learned multiple languages like I aspire to learn. To beat that scorecard. 100% gold, thank you!
So glad you liked it!
Thanks D! Hope to see you at The Jordan Harbinger Show soon as well! Happy to help!
Amazing! The Covert Contracts. I realize I've done that a lot in the past. Going to keep my awareness open to it! Thanks Tom and Jordan!
Great interview once again. I'm looking forward to listening to him, now!
Side note: Tom, I've noticed you getting sick quite often. Going hard is one thing, but I hope you aren't pushing at the expense of your health. Regardless, feel better soon!
Thank you! Feeling better.
thanks Rebecca -looking forward to your thoughts on The Jordan Harbinger Show
Im from Indinesia, no translating in Indonesia language, I like this podcast very much. Love it
I swear you air all the people i look up to on your show this is awesome. Jordan Harbinger, Judah Smith, naveen jain etc. I swear! And I'm always discovering more awesome people thanks to you! Great stuff Tom!
thanks Cory! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
I remember you sending out an email about leaving aoc and but it wasn't until today i found out you had a new show. I will definitely be listening.
Great!
This is such a good advice suiting the COVID situation to create an emergency fund at least for 6 months. Hanging it there, everyone.
The door advice was awesome!
more like that here (and free): course.jordanharbinger.com
I love this. This is such a humane approach to networking. This great❤
Thanks Koshie! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show (podcast) as well?
Wow I'm a big fan of Tom's
I'm so glad I found you here Jordan
You are one of the most genuine guests I have heard here.
You have a new fan!
Fyi...your wisdom and confidence is very attractive ☺️
thank you! very kind of you. hope to see you listening to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well.
So good! Thank you for this!!!
Authenticity. That’s the word. 🙏
I love the door theory which I will now apply each time I walk through a door- brilliant thank you Jordan
you got it! more like that at course.jordanharbinger.com
Tom! This right here. This is why I watch the show! [Shoutout from Chicago] this episode has brought so much value and tools I can use to execute my dreams! My husband and I's business will launch in July! Keep an eye out for us. We're going to be small but mighty! We're the Potsitivities.[not a typo read it again] See you at the top! 😍😍
Right on Sarah!
Two of my favorite podcasts. Epic
yes!
Great interview, you two really resonate with me. I feel doing the homework is key and I am the same way. So much value can be uncovered when you don't just expose what they think, but also expand it to create new value. I'm all about quality and appreciate you and the people you interview. Thanks
Tom Bilyeu a positive Energizer pouring such energy through RUclips... I am expecting him to be in india that too in South india (Tamil Nadu State). Such an amazing Energizer 🤩😍
Thanks a lot Tom for introducing us to so many amazing people who are doing such great work in transforming people's lives...one request please bring in sadhguru jaggi vasudev he's transforming millions of lives across the globe and your audience lives will truly be impacted.love your show
We're trying! I'd love to have him on the show!
All i can say is awesome!
Thanks Tom.
Awesome show, guys - thanks. All the way from South Africa! Yep...the penny dropped for sure - provide [Massive] Value first with zero expectations.
Indeed!
YES!
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!
Thanx Tom for having Jordan! Great interview and super informative. Love "Give without no expectations". Its always better to give than receive. Honest connections work best.
Thanks V! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
So exciting to get a reply from you! thank you! Well, I didnt know about you before. Just now through Tom's show. So I went directly to your website and now listening to a podcast Deep Dive 22 via PlayerFM hahah ;) subscribed through my iphone podcast app to keep learning on the go. By the way, I really like your recommendations on books on your website. Always looking for great reads. So glad I found you! Keep up the good work!
welcome to the show!
I love this episode... I keep rewatching and always coming out with something new! Thank you both.
glad to hear it! Do you listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show as well?
One of my faves. Love it guys and so grateful for this show. By far the most impressionable and helpful for my mindset and entire life!
Listening to this interview as a South African, keep the good work guys :)
Tom, thanks for another great episode. Take care of the cold (?)
Sounds like he is losing his voice! :( (but i dont know) - I hope not