The story about Kyle with the alligator clips reminds me of my son. When my son was 13 and in a wood shop class, he was learning how to use a drill. My son, in all his brilliance, thought he could put his pinkie finger in the chuck, tighten it down, and hold the force back with the strength of his finger. So he pulled the trigger and , surprise, his finger snapped. Broken finger and 6 weeks in a cast. Now the shop teacher has to include "Don't put your finger in the end of a drill. Only drill bits." at the start of each year.
I was in a school nearby where that kid who electrocuted himself was. He was and still is used as an example of what not to do. I remember my electrical trade teacher telling us “don’t be an idiot your life isn’t worth a bottle of Mountain Dew”
Live in FL and somehow missed my birthday headlines of "Florida man killed when scooter collides with deer" and "Florida man claiming people were eating his brains leads police on chase across golf course". Both are so very Florida
This was in the 80s I was a police officer in South Florida I stopped a car for a minor traffic violation as I approached the car dispatch radioed it was stolen I pulled the guy out and cuffed him as he protested it wasn't stolen. A drug dog alerted on the trunk I popped the trunk open and there was two bricks of cocaine which I pointed out to the man. He then exclaimed "well it's not mine I stole this car."
@@brainblaze6526 cocaine? Sure... Screaming and yelling? Fine! Talking about your friends in the basement? Neat. Talk about Florida man? Nope nope nope, you've gone too far.
@@brainblaze6526 that’s fucking hilariously unfortunate. Well, I’d be curious to know how many sponsors just go off your name without vetting the content.
@@yesplease9021 I want to meet the people who work for these sponsors, watch a video or two, and give the green light anyway. I bet they’re fun at parties.
Birthday challenge: “A Gulf Breeze man who allegedly harassed his family using Coldplay lyrics and threats of violence from his "Nazi prison associates" was convinced to end his standoff with police for a slice of pizza, according to police reports.”
I had a class where a teacher spent an hour explaining every stupid thing that previous student and how he will aggressively pursue the expulsion of any student engage who engaged in similar stupidity.
“Florida man arrested after hitting dad with pizza because he was mad he helped birth him” the family argument have spilled over from Christmas and into the new year
"Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt" Honestly this is all I want (entertainment wise) for my birthday.
I knew a kid in high school who caught his pants on fire in welding class, but instead of putting out the fire on his knee, he decided he should ask the teacher what he should do. That’s big brain right there.
I’m a Florida man and love all of this. It’s great publicity. Come hang out with us. Also had my first surreal Whistler moment. Wife bought me the $100 Simon sticker which I plastered on my computer, brought it out at work and a medical student was like “you a Simon Whistler fan?” And I was like “Yeah I am! You know him too???” Was so awesome
My birthday may just win: "Last weekend, the US Coast Guard rescued a man from Florida after attempting to ride a hamster ball or inflatable bubble up the Bermuda Triangle ..."
I did my Florida man birthday google search and got “Florida man without arms charged after allegedly stabbing tourist with his feet”. What a neat game.
I've been harping on about a tshirt with that on it. Simons yelling face silhouette profile spouting AM I RIGHT, PETER. I want one, that or I'm just going to get one made at a shop here haha
@@analbaby1 Probably get someone arrested for hate speech for wearing it and not being able to explain the joke properly hehe. Then we can get a business blaze video on that.
August 18th: "Florida man arrested after botching in-home castration" or "Florida man dumps heaps of dirt on girlfriend's head". I include them both since the first in insane and the second is funny to read about. Apparently a guy took his tractor, and dumped a load of dirt on his girlfriend's car with her inside.
Mine is "Florida man dressed like Fred Flintstone pulled over in his footmobile" My husband's is : "what did a Florida man offer an undercover officer in exchange for sex?"
Also thanks for producing Beard Blaze! I just got my order this past weekend and it smells better than I have tried before, thanks again for everything you do for all of your community’s!
The first headline that popped up for my birthday was "Florida man charged with accidentally shooting bear that was trying to eat his trash." Which was nowhere near as boggling as the second, "Florida man stole $600 worth of cat blood from clinic, officials say." How the fuck even and why, really.
I loved that the picture shown when talkign about the dvds that were stolen were some "cultured" animes. Didn't quite see the names, but still love it.
Simon, you have a yet-to-be-used business opportunity right under your nose. Take all those snippets of advice / wisdom / insight you throw in (rant about) on Business Blaze and make a Simon's Words of Wisdom channel with video shorts. Like your riff last week about how cool it is to be an adult because you can order in or buy any food you want and eat it any time of day or night. Or today's bit of insight into the not-cool-to-hit-a-woman-with-a-cheeseburger hierarchy. You've already created the content, just distill it out and bottle it.
When I was very little my Mum sent me through the wee doggy door on my neighbour's house when Mrs. Simmons locked herself out. I was maybe 3? This experience came in handy 30 years later when I locked myself out of my house and sent my son through the doggy door of my own home. Unfortunately someone driving by saw this and called the cops. As it turned out I knew the officer who attended so no-one was arrested and Oscar, the cop, got a cuppa and some home baking for his trouble.
Fun fact: In some American states, "nighttime burglary" is a thing. It's treated more serious than regular burglary because people are more likely to be in the house during the act. I believe in some states it's even considered a violent crime.
Ouch I got "Florida man suspected of murdering couple was caught biting victim's face off" Also the Mr Kelly at my high school was pretty insane in addition to being one of the top competitive markmen in our province he had a tendency to leap out his class room window to the ledge and then crawl into the window of the class room next door so he manages to traumatize two class rooms then casually walk back into his class like nothing happened.
So I'm May 14 - almost "birthday twins" with Simon - and my first story was about Florida man telling cops that playing basketball naked increases your skill level. The second story was the cheeseburger girlfriend slap. Looks like it happened on my birthday but most of the reporting was done the next day lol
April 6th. Arguably, THE Floridaman floridamanliest of them all: he has a Florida tattoo on his forehead. He also was charged with burglary, but at that point I think that was optional.
That Russian accent was surprisingly good. Well to an American. Who lives in Britain. And doesn't know any Russian.
My target audience for Russian accent.
American? from Kent? :D
besides he lives in Prague currently, not Britain... you smoking crack? :D
@@AndrewMitchell123 *to* an American, not from.
@@crispoman oh yeah, hadn't seen that, makes sense actually
I thought he talks about Simon, not himself lol
my bad
@@AndrewMitchell123 Easy mistake to make. Have a good day.
The story about Kyle with the alligator clips reminds me of my son.
When my son was 13 and in a wood shop class, he was learning how to use a drill. My son, in all his brilliance, thought he could put his pinkie finger in the chuck, tighten it down, and hold the force back with the strength of his finger. So he pulled the trigger and , surprise, his finger snapped. Broken finger and 6 weeks in a cast.
Now the shop teacher has to include "Don't put your finger in the end of a drill. Only drill bits." at the start of each year.
Bless teenage boys. For the lols and for being behind so many common-sense rules needing to be spelled out.
I'm trusting as a responsible parent you gave him The Look and said, "now what did we learn today?"
Reminds me of an over-referenced Carlin joke about averages
A Casual Criminalist AND a Business Blaze in the same day! It’s like Christmas!
And an upload on today i found out!
Whistler TV is fantastic content
Hahahaha this was my first thought when i saw them too!!
Hold-up is a a casual criminalist another Channel?!
@@nuyabiss yes, it has a slight toned down business blaze feel, but for true crime. Good stuff
November 11th:
Florida man breaks into restaurant, strips naked, eats noodles, plays bongos.
I thought McConaughey was from Texas.
@@themoviedealers Alright alright alright
May 3rd: Florida man arrested for showing off his marijuana plant to police officers who were investigating an unrelated incident.
I wonder how many people watching Simon have a may birthday? (I do as well, may 12)
@@JS-wc4xs probably around 1/12
I was in a school nearby where that kid who electrocuted himself was. He was and still is used as an example of what not to do. I remember my electrical trade teacher telling us “don’t be an idiot your life isn’t worth a bottle of Mountain Dew”
Nah, it's worth at least a few cases.
@@ladykoiwolfe maybe a few cases. Definitely not a single bottle.
My guy only got arrested for his thirst quenching efforts: "Florida man captured on camera trying to break gas station door in order to steal Pepsi"
Depends what flavour of Mountain Dew tbh
Eh, I'm More Of A Coke Guy......
(I Mean Coca-Cola, Of Course(Or Do I?))
Live in FL and somehow missed my birthday headlines of "Florida man killed when scooter collides with deer" and "Florida man claiming people were eating his brains leads police on chase across golf course". Both are so very Florida
So very Florida. BBC had a story today about how excessive heat damages the brain….
Feb 15 birthdays unite!
Soo, since I was born on July 13. I got FLORIDA MAN WITH NO ARMS CHARGED WITH STABBING CHICAGO TOURIST
I love how Peter is just part of the meta now. Even Sam references him.
This was in the 80s I was a police officer in South Florida I stopped a car for a minor traffic violation as I approached the car dispatch radioed it was stolen I pulled the guy out and cuffed him as he protested it wasn't stolen. A drug dog alerted on the trunk I popped the trunk open and there was two bricks of cocaine which I pointed out to the man. He then exclaimed "well it's not mine I stole this car."
I guess he decided that he'd rather go to prison for stealing a car rather than drug trafficking. Might as well do the time for the right crime.
Well, he was just stating the facts!
Florida man accused of pouring beer in gator's mouth after enticing reptile to bite his arm.
Sounds about right...
So is the alligator a tile representative?
Florida man set fire to his hospital bed in an attempt to get the attention of nurses as he felt they were ignoring him.
Brilliant 😂🤣
Spoiler alert: Florida Man's secret identity *is* actually Peter
AM I RIGHT, FLORIDA MAN?!
Parker! Get me pictures Spider-man!!!
Which video did the AM I RIGHT PETER?! Start in?
@@rachelhansen2417 Where’s the meme account? he should know….
This didn’t have a sponsor……… I just noticed…… that makes this a Rare Blaze
It did originally. The sponsor was like "yeah, no".
Not a joke.
@@brainblaze6526 cocaine? Sure... Screaming and yelling? Fine! Talking about your friends in the basement? Neat.
Talk about Florida man? Nope nope nope, you've gone too far.
@@brainblaze6526 Infidels.
@@brainblaze6526 that’s fucking hilariously unfortunate. Well, I’d be curious to know how many sponsors just go off your name without vetting the content.
@@yesplease9021 I want to meet the people who work for these sponsors, watch a video or two, and give the green light anyway. I bet they’re fun at parties.
Birthday challenge:
“A Gulf Breeze man who allegedly harassed his family using Coldplay lyrics and threats of violence from his "Nazi prison associates" was convinced to end his standoff with police for a slice of pizza, according to police reports.”
sounds legit.
@David Lazarus October 19 Florida man
I've been to Gulf Breeze and this sounds completely believable.
Yooo a fellow Feb 28, cool to see
Ohh this should be good, another Florida man episode coupled with Simon's ADHD rants👌🍻🚬
A brilliant modern vintage indeed
I had a class where a teacher spent an hour explaining every stupid thing that previous student and how he will aggressively pursue the expulsion of any student engage who engaged in similar stupidity.
My Florida Man was “Florida Man spits half eaten food into Woman’s mouth during road rage incident”
“Florida man arrested after hitting dad with pizza because he was mad he helped birth him” the family argument have spilled over from Christmas and into the new year
Thank you ,
Florida man worried about vampires intentionally burns down his home .
Florida man, shout out to his family! Don't slap dogs with cheeseburgers, Yo!
SHOUT OUT TO HIS FAMILY.
Mine is “Florida man attempted to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say.” I love it!
"Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt"
Honestly this is all I want (entertainment wise) for my birthday.
"Florida Man Says His Turtle Army Will Destroy Everything"
Florida man died trying to attach lasers to the heads of lion fish.
A classic.
Oh so that's where Rotting Turtle comes from.
Thank God! I finally escaped the 24/7 BB stream. I was trapped like Danny.
We Are Simon!
...we are Simon.
I knew a kid in high school who caught his pants on fire in welding class, but instead of putting out the fire on his knee, he decided he should ask the teacher what he should do. That’s big brain right there.
Jan 12th: Florida man tells neighbors he’s going to kill them with Kidness then tries to kill them with a machete he named “Kidness” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
0:50 My favourite Florida Man Birthday challenge has the catchy headline "Florida Man With No Arms Arrested For Stabbing Tourist". Go Florida Man.
On my birthday, “Florida man gets head-butted, knocked out by alligator” Nice!
I’m a Florida man and love all of this. It’s great publicity. Come hang out with us.
Also had my first surreal Whistler moment. Wife bought me the $100 Simon sticker which I plastered on my computer, brought it out at work and a medical student was like “you a Simon Whistler fan?” And I was like “Yeah I am! You know him too???” Was so awesome
FLORIDA MAN TRIES TO ORDER BURRITO AT BANK DRIVE-THROUGH, THINKS IT’S TACO BELL. 😆
The end of Florida man videos will be Simon going to Florida to do night crawler style news reporting on Florida men
and I think we would all be here for that
"Hot sauce saves Florida man after car crashes into Taco Bell."
Danny's hoping Simon will hit him with a cheeseburger, because then he'd get to eat it. And not share with Sam.
Would make a change from the once a week bucket of rotten fish heads they normally have to share.
@@JohnCooper-gm6mn fish heads? What is this, Christmas?
🤣
Danny deserves a cheeseburger for this episode. Great stuff
@@LizRealGirlBeauty I did say ROTTEN fish heads. They only get the fresh ones at Christmas. 😈
My birthday may just win: "Last weekend, the US Coast Guard rescued a man from Florida after attempting to ride a hamster ball or inflatable bubble up the Bermuda Triangle ..."
"Bible thumping: Florida man accused of throwing holy book at deputy" that's rather tame
Florida man reportedly tells cops he thought playing basketball naked would ‘enhance his skill level’
Because no one would try to guard him
Florida man climbs building, dives into pond, wrestles with crocodile and survives. This is brilliant
Glorious Blaze Boi release the Korea Cut already we need to learn about our most democratically elected Kim family
The Sunshine Law has to be one of the best things to have blessed Florida, most of these stories wouldn't have seen the light of day without it...
Mine's pretty epic "Florida man attacks his mother with Spaghetti and pushes her over a wall, claims demons made him do it"
I did my Florida man birthday google search and got “Florida man without arms charged after allegedly stabbing tourist with his feet”. What a neat game.
Ah, Simon, Danny and Sam making my Shittiest days grand. Thank you, Gentlemen.
Ps, I'm from NH, and when you said Dover, it all made sense...
Legend
smash that dislike button!
Birthday challenge: "Florida man arrested after witnesses said he practiced karate on swans"
that 10yr old was clever tho ngl…. like i would have NEVER thought to say that i’m a dwarf he was thinking fast on his feet lmaoo
"Florida man wearing bonnet, dress steals baby formula from Publix" yay
Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn’t dress his mannequin 😂
Shirtless Florida man rides motorcycle down highway while lying on his back
"Host: Sandra" lmao I lost it there.
“Am I right Peter?” Gets me every time haha
Turns out My Florida man was "nearly" decapitated by a helicopter but still died. That's a rough day at work if you ask me.
Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza ,i win
That's mine! Give it back
Thanks Google following the line "this is a poo cocktail supreme' immediately with an ad for pizza was hysterical.
Florida man March 12th: Florida man nicknamed "Babycakes" caught naked in a chair outside apartment complex. His mugshot is incredible too lmao
Is there an "AM I RIGHT, PETER!?!" shirt? Because there should be.
I've been harping on about a tshirt with that on it.
Simons yelling face silhouette profile spouting AM I RIGHT, PETER.
I want one, that or I'm just going to get one made at a shop here haha
@@analbaby1 Probably get someone arrested for hate speech for wearing it and not being able to explain the joke properly hehe. Then we can get a business blaze video on that.
@@Jasta85 Imagine submitting a few Business Blaze videos as evidence to explain your defense
@@thusspokechris Would be particularly gôd ì the judge name was Peter
I need one
August 18th: "Florida man arrested after botching in-home castration" or "Florida man dumps heaps of dirt on girlfriend's head".
I include them both since the first in insane and the second is funny to read about. Apparently a guy took his tractor, and dumped a load of dirt on his girlfriend's car with her inside.
If he botched the castration, I guess that means he isn't eligible for a Darwin Award.
The one where Danny reveals what he did with that carbon monoxide detector.
Florida man threatens to destroy everyone with an army of turtles.
Rotting Turtles?
@@___LC___ well it IS Florida Man 🤷🏻♂️
You don't steal the alligator, he invites himself along.
Never question the algorithms grim sense of humor again…. I got a Velveeta ad right in the middle the of Steve-O porta potty bit.
Florida man accused of exposing himself claims he needed to air it out.
Keep it classy, Florida.
Florida man, arrested for DUI, says he smoked weed to prepare for the return of Jesus. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My Florida man was, "Florida Man kicked out of library, tells cops he is Jason Bourne"
This title alone already got a laugh out of me.
I love this channel. After his more reserved manner in today I found out and top tenz he just cuts loose with business blaze
This is exactly what I needed today. Thanks BB team, you legends.
"Florida man accused of decapitating hamster"
I shut down my work computer 15 minutes early to watch this. So if I get sacked and my life falls into meth fuelled ruin, I blame you Simon.
"Florida man arrested for DUI while wallaby and lemur escape from truck" is mine...
Mine is "Florida man dressed like Fred Flintstone pulled over in his footmobile"
My husband's is : "what did a Florida man offer an undercover officer in exchange for sex?"
Also thanks for producing Beard Blaze! I just got my order this past weekend and it smells better than I have tried before, thanks again for everything you do for all of your community’s!
Florida man holds neighbors hostage when he asks to borrow salt, police say
And when we swap in my home state of Michigan, we get the much less funny - Michigan Man Found Guilty in Slaying, Victim’s Body Dismembered...
I mean, chucking a bottle of alcohol at someone's head is kind of serious. Blunt force damage to the skull is usually a bad idea.
Hit ME with a cheeseburger, Fact Daddy. >__
The first headline that popped up for my birthday was "Florida man charged with accidentally shooting bear that was trying to eat his trash." Which was nowhere near as boggling as the second, "Florida man stole $600 worth of cat blood from clinic, officials say." How the fuck even and why, really.
Nah its Hi-Vis vests that get you anywhere .... cleaner, mover, maintenance, repairman ... you are everyone blue collared.
Add a clipboard and youre the supervisor the other blue collar employees are not going to question and flee from
I loved that the picture shown when talkign about the dvds that were stolen were some "cultured" animes. Didn't quite see the names, but still love it.
Always love florida man.
The "scales of justice" reference went right over Simon's head.
Blazing thanks Danny
Saddest thing was watching Ozzy try to function in a reality TV show.
Police: Florida man jailed after trying to 'barbecue all the child molesters' - happened on my birthday (7. march)
That’s a florida man I can respect
Seems about right. The coward pigs who enforce tyranny and oppression protect child molesters. Ftp. That man is a hero.
Come for crazy; Stay for Simon.
I'm watching Business Blaze whilst I'm working
I'm a brain surgeon. 😂
I hope the context is "whilst doing some paperwork." 😳
I mean at work could also be hanging out in the brake room 😉
But I won't say what the context is (it's more fun that way) 😂😉😛
@@TotallyNotRedneckYall no he has was playing in a small window on the same screen where he's watching what he's doing, or she
A big brains surgeon*
No you're not
Florida man in an easter bunny brawl is a fugitive and talks about his furry fist fight
Simon, you have a yet-to-be-used business opportunity right under your nose. Take all those snippets of advice / wisdom / insight you throw in (rant about) on Business Blaze and make a Simon's Words of Wisdom channel with video shorts. Like your riff last week about how cool it is to be an adult because you can order in or buy any food you want and eat it any time of day or night. Or today's bit of insight into the not-cool-to-hit-a-woman-with-a-cheeseburger hierarchy. You've already created the content, just distill it out and bottle it.
And call it Rotting Turtle
July 25: Florida man holds neighbors hostage when he asks to borrow a cup of salt
This just never fails does it XD good god
"Make it a little bit more sh*t." Simon, are we implying the script is sh*t? Keep your head up Danny.
Florida woman arrested after 3 dogs found in freezer, "didn't have a shovel to bury them".
Back at it again with Florida Man = Views
The scales of justice. 🐟😂🤦🏼♀️
Ba da boom. !!!
Today I found out might be more popular, but its nowhere near as cool.
When I was very little my Mum sent me through the wee doggy door on my neighbour's house when Mrs. Simmons locked herself out. I was maybe 3? This experience came in handy 30 years later when I locked myself out of my house and sent my son through the doggy door of my own home. Unfortunately someone driving by saw this and called the cops. As it turned out I knew the officer who attended so no-one was arrested and Oscar, the cop, got a cuppa and some home baking for his trouble.
Sam, we need to see Simon in a mullet; please?
Edit- Then he'd totally fit in in Florida.
Fun fact: In some American states, "nighttime burglary" is a thing. It's treated more serious than regular burglary because people are more likely to be in the house during the act. I believe in some states it's even considered a violent crime.
Come on Sam, change the Harry Potter video game clip to say “I’m just Simon” in a squeaky voice.
Ouch I got "Florida man suspected of murdering couple was caught biting victim's face off"
Also the Mr Kelly at my high school was pretty insane in addition to being one of the top competitive markmen in our province he had a tendency to leap out his class room window to the ledge and then crawl into the window of the class room next door so he manages to traumatize two class rooms then casually walk back into his class like nothing happened.
April 17: Pyjama wearing Florida man attempts to flirt with waffle house waitress. Pulls out knife when she ignores him.
Woah, Florida Man and Waffle House. If that headline had included meth you’d have the trifecta.
@@cartoonkelly7924 either meth or gators 💀
So I'm May 14 - almost "birthday twins" with Simon - and my first story was about Florida man telling cops that playing basketball naked increases your skill level. The second story was the cheeseburger girlfriend slap. Looks like it happened on my birthday but most of the reporting was done the next day lol
The BB live stream is still going!!!!
Its like the Simpsons it's gonna continue forever
It will never end. IT. IS. INFINBLILAAAAZZZZEEEEEE!!!!!!!
April 6th. Arguably, THE Floridaman floridamanliest of them all: he has a Florida tattoo on his forehead. He also was charged with burglary, but at that point I think that was optional.