mattymo56 they weren’t referring to the person. they’re referring to the concept as being otherworldly or just crazy to think about. the action, not the person. you can say that something about that person is something without referring to that person directly.
One of my favourite DID stories is when me (host) and my alter Alex were both in control. I was allowing Alex talk, because he was talking to a friend about our condition. This is how he explained our current situation: "It's kinda like I have the wheel of a car, and Layla has the pedals. We both communicate with each other to drive around, but either of us could easily take full control" I was pretty proud of him 😂
That's a big deal to understand: trauma is reaction in a person, it is not an outside event. So, when ever anyone has trauma symptoms, it means they have trauma. It doesn't matter tiniest bit what happened, it is valid trauma, since trauma is in that person. And that is the only definition of trauma. There are events that are common to cause trauma, but no event can BE a trauma. Events don't have brains to react, only living things do. So.. in a way the question about "what is your trauma" is false question. Or the answer to that will be just "it's DID" or "PTSD" etc.
@@typosinthebrain5363 Feeling like that is so common, it should be named as one of the symptoms of severe trauma. I feel so too. Like my trauma's actually weren't that bad, at least what I know about it. In our case I think the reason was mostly lacking support. There was no safe adults in our life what so ever, we were alone. I don't consider my traumas that bad, but if I'd know a baby or a child that lives in conditions I lived in, I'd feel really bad for them, and totally understand they need to get away from that environment. Think your past like that: would it be OK to put a child to live thru what you lived thru, if you could choose for them? And then try to empathize with yourself like you would with that child. One reason why many parts in systems can think so as well, is that they don't feel the terror, because someone else has it. So they personally maybe weren't thru anything they couldn't handle, because someone else in the system was. When it was severe enough for you to develop different kind of neurology, it was severe. edit: Cute axolotl!
I had to pause to say thank you for bringing up the fact that just because someone had a "more severe" trauma doesn't mean a "less severe" is invalid/unimportant.
My father has DID, but for a long time he kept it secret from me, which we found, wasnt the best idea. . . I know the system is created to protect the person, but i definitely agree with telling people you are close to about it, for both their benefit and yours. At one time, i accidentally triggered my dad, and a child alter fronted, and he had a severe panic attack. I was rather young, so i have to say it was extremely frightening, especially not knowing what i had done to upset him so thoroughly. I honestly cannot thank you enough for making this channel, it has helped me sooo much with communicating with my dad. I really admire you for what youre doing, so great job ❤
A question for chloe: have you ever thought of comparing Myers Briggs personality test results with those of your alters? It could be a real interesting insight on the kind of people they are
i have ptsd and sometimes i feel like im making a big deal out of nothing because i feel like my experience wasnt "traumatic enough", so it helps a lot to hear someone confirm that my trauma is valid
I can't say why Chloe and her system in particular are uncomfortable, but an unwillingness to integrate can go beyond a mere unwillingness to remember a past experience. Just imagine if you were an alter who feels and acts like a complete person. Integration is essentially removing these people from existence. Sure, they'll be a part of the host, but they as people may never be able to think or feel again. That's so scary!
@@catinabox3048 No, that is not how integration between parts happens. That is what parts (I don't use word alter, part means the same thing) are scared of, but that is fear without base in reality. Nobody is going to disappear, they are going to change but it's gonna feel natural to them. Instead it means all being co-conscious all the time, and they are gonna feel much more alive, fuller, "see world in colors", become 4D etc. That is how parts who are integrated describe it. NOT as disappearing. First of all host personality is NOT any way the main personality everyone is gonna integrate into. Being a host is just a job in the system, like any other, hosts are parts like all other parts, they are NOT the center of the system AT ALL. They are usually secured from trauma so they can continue their work, not because they would be more important. Host personality is not who a system will become if it integrates. It's gonna become as someone nobody has ever known before, because they are gonna have traits from all parts. It's simply because non of the single parts could exist on their own. Only the whole system together has all that is needed. Example: as long as defenders/protectors are separate parts, there will be parts who don't know how to take care of themselves or stand for themselves. If they integrate, they are gonna have all that in one part, and that way they will be more safe, than with separate defender who is not always there. It doesn't mean defender is going to disappear, they are gonna blend with the ones they used to protect, and make them even more safe, and also stop themselves from over reacting. But all that needs to have a balance, and it's not there naturally when a person is severely traumatized, as is someone with DID. So blending them into one is not good enough, if they don't understand who they are, why they are, why they react and what is the real outside reality.And to have all that, thee needs to be therapy before integration. In integration nobody wants to get rid of anybody, and nobody is going to disappear, instead of that it means the exact opposite. They are gonna become so close, they don't need walls between them anymore. It means all are VERY MUCH involved in everything at the same time and accepted without limits. It really is not about getting rid of anyone. Getting rid of parts is impossible, they are all needed and they can't go away even if they want to, or "die" and stop existing. Integration is the ultimate co-operation. Integration can start at anywhere in the system, hosts mostly don't have anything to do with first integrations. Anyone can become as one with anyone, or one becomes part of many already existing parts. You can not control how it happens, when and where, it depends about parts and when they are ready. Some traits are gonna go away, because one identity can not be 5 males, 2 trans people, couple of non gender identifiable entities and 17 females at the same time for example in one identity. There will be only one view of the gender left, simple one or complex. What it will be, nobody will know, until the integration has happened. But nothing is taken away from anyone by force. Everything that changes is going to feel natural and it happens because you don't have any reason to protect your separateness from other yous so much anymore. It feels like growing. Before you had narrow view on things, just your own, but after you can share it with all, and they all share theirs with you, you all simply understand the whole thing better, from different angles, and your new together view on that thing is gonna be based on that new understanding you simply didn't have before, and now you are that much fuller. And because of understanding more, you are going to change.Not because someone takes something away from you, but because now you finally can see the big picture. So there's nothing to be scared of if you let your system to integrate naturally, when traumas are being dealt with. However if anyone tries to force an integration when all trauma, or too much trauma is still there, it will lead into a chaos and is most dangerous thing you can do. Walls need to be where they are, as long as there's too much trauma to deal with. When it's all normal memories, it is very different thing for all parts to understand they all shared the same life and experiences in the end. Even when all parts weren't fronting when it happened, they will get all info when they share their mind as one united mind with other parts. But it's not gonna be flash backs anymore, it's gonna be normal processed memories. Sad ones surely, but part of their life. Many systems decide they are not going to even try or let themselves to integrate because of false understanding about how it is. And that is sad. Everyone is scared of the unknown, and it's very hard to picture how are you gonna be like, when you are profoundly different from how you used to be, and become from one narrow part to a whole system in a way. But the sense of self, feeling of being me, is gonna be there, and it's gonna be the same and feel the same, no matter how much your opinions on things, or views on who you really are, changes. Because it simply is finally growing into what you were supposed to be. Idea of integration certainly triggers systems, that are not ready to do it, including mine. It's a good thing, because it stops forced integration if anyone tries to (meaning for example a T who doesn't understand DID). In reality all you do is find everyone, help them, learn to communicate, understand, accept and co-operate. And you can continue it to a point of integration. It's nothing to be scared of when system is ready. Just don't set any limits for how co-conscious or how co-operative are you allowed to become. Let it happen as far as you can. Sorry for ranting. Anyone who found this helpful is allowed to quote anything they want from this to educational purposes any time.
Floralie this is so interesting to me (as a single personality) because I haven't really heard stories of full system integrations before. I've heard of alters integrating, both positive and negative outcomes depending on how it happened and what alters were integrated, but it's facinating how much care and delicacy truly goes into integration. I appreciate you typing this out, it's been a great read!
@@ellespoonies People with only one personality and one identity are fascinating to us. Integration truly is very delicate, and there's a lot that can go wrong with it. I'm promoting it to share a different view on it from people who have experienced it, because it seems to be rare for systems to talk about it positively. They are scared of "dying" and disappearing and scared of the unknown. And if that makes you dissociate, it's more than understandable to avoid it, and as long as it is like that, it's clear it's not possible and no one is allowed to cross that boundary. And that is why it can be dangerous if ever forced or done .. I don't know how to say it. You shouldn't rule it out, and it can happen. But if you try it too hard, it can go wrong, because something was still pushed over their limits. I know parts of many many systems don't like us saying this, but like we describe fragments as 2D and full parts 3D, integrated system is 4D. I know some people will read that the way I don't mean it, meaning people without DID are something more than us parts are. It's not about someone being more important or anything like that, it's very concrete. 4th dimension is time. When you are integrated, you don't need to share time anymore. That makes you 4D.
@@floralie3074 I greatly appreciate all the information you wrote. I have a single personality, but have been watching a lot of videos on DID lately. I'm a highly curious person and I want to know about everything so I can pacifically coexist with as many people as I can. However, I know I can't just ask away all my questions. I want to be respectful and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, especially when it comes to mental health, and I had so many questions about Integration, that both you and the video answered, that I knew I shouldn't ask because I didn't want to trigger anyone.
I've been literally binge watching all of your videos and I am just speechless and pretty much fell in love with all of you :O you are so charming and sweet (all of you who I kind of got to know through the videos!). Your videos are so incredibly informative and interesting and it's in some way amazing to see what your brain can do to keep yourself safe. I wish all of you only the best! But during the videos there was one question that popped up in my head here and there. As all of you are pretty much your own kind of person sharing one and the same body, are there some of you that wish they had their own body? Or that wish to be "their own"?
Mercedita - I came across one of her videos, I forget how, but too literally can’t stop watching. I don’t have DID but I’ve always been interested in it and I’ve learned so much from them. They’re all so charming as well. I lobe Ruby. She reminds me of myself.
@@McPoyleBros same!! I'd watched movies where there was instances of DID and I became really interested, I also knew with it being Hollywood that it wasnt really fact based, so it's awesome to have people like chloe and everyone in the dissociaDID system, and the other systems on RUclips, who explain it and break it down for everyone who genuinely wants to learn about it.
Um, so.... I've had 3 alters for as long as I remember, and I've told my therapist about them... However, My therapist refuses to diagnose it as DID because "she doesn't believe in it." I was told it was possible DID by a friend interested in psychology that I have three people who are always sharing my mind and that there were times I would black out and wake up as it were, not remembering where I was. There was one time I didn't even remember my own name. My parents told me my trauma as a kid wasn't really a "Trauma". So...I looked up everything I could about it...And I realized everything that was talked about was something that I could relate to. So thank you. This was very informative.
NikkiMoonlightVA Hi, Im an alter. Im Sarah, nice to meet you.😊Im so sorry you have to handle that, our host/OG has gone to therapy since she was 8 and she is 18 now, she always did her best to hide us from them, because of idiots like your therapist. You are very valid, even if you dont have it on paper. You know its real in your heart.❤️🧡💛💛💚💙Bringing her own beliefs into the mix is not ok, she is a therapist not a cherry picker. I hope you have a good day and know we support you.🐼
@@glitterlover3244 Thank you very much, Sarah. We appreciate it. One of my alters, Aubrey, gets angry at the therapist because once I was bad off and he was out to make sure I was able to rest... and she forced me back out. It was before I was diagnosed with iron-deficient Anemia.
Hi Chloe, I have recently ...like today... found your channel. I just fell in love with you and the way you explain our Disorder. I too am a Co-Manager or Host of my "Family" or as you say System. One of my protectors was nearly jumping up and down watching Jade say that she will do anything it takes to protect your "littles" or as we call our children in your video explaining why you won't discuss specifically your littles. I love your channel and can't wait to get through all of your videos. Thank you for your bravery in coming forward and giving another face of DID or MPD (sorry when I was diagnosed it was still MPD just being changed to DID).
Chloe, that bow you're wearing (which by the way is really cute) kinda reminded me of the one Kiki wears in Kiki's Delivery Service, if you've ever seen it, if not, I highly recommend it :)
Watching your channel has really enlightened and encouraged me. I don't have D.I.D, but I experienced an ongoing traumatic experience when I was 19 and 20. When I returned to a safe environment and life afterwards, I just tried to ignore what had happened and "move on with my life". I didn't think that what I had experienced was traumatic. The definitions of trauma that I had heard all focused on physical violence, which I didn't experience. I just thought that I was weak, sensitive, or making too big a deal of it. Then in my safe life, things would come back. Someone would say something in normal conversation and I would just burst into tears without knowing why. I would see an ordinary object and feel an overwhelming sense of fear or have flashbacks. The first few months of work were exhausting because I was just constantly being triggered and I feared for my safety even though there was no threat there. After months and months of this, I finally sought help. I'm seeing a counselor now who heard my story and immediately recognized it as trauma. I'm going to keep seeing her, maybe even long term. You and other similar RUclipsrs who talk about mental health have pushed me to seek help. You taught me that there is no shame in asking for help when you need it.
If one or more of your alters has a different sexuality does that make dating complicated? /Dating in general complicated because your alters are different people?
You would not believe the struggle I had trying to work out my sexuality. Im bisexual (Chloe) Nadia is pansexual, Ruby is a lesbian, Gregory is asexual, Sally is straight, Kyle is bi, it gets so complicated
Dating my ex girlfriend while my male side James was very much THERE and him being homoromantic and like me asexual it was hard for him, he saw her as more of a close friend while i saw her as a romantic partner and the little had no experience with her really. The female alter Conny has still yet to come out so i dont really know on her. It was so hard because i didnt want James uncomfortable but as we are (mostly) ace and our partners aren't so unless we agree on someone we perfer whoever is with them stay with them and the others just be friends and be in an open relationship as ace is hard to date when you arent ace and have a high strong drive and the ace isnt comfortable, sex repulsed, or just not ready it can be hard but we chose to let them be open but honestly i have only personally experienced it once and i am bad with being left in the dark and i was much too new to do it correctly and its best go have rules and i would have put one as "Tell me beforehand even in a genaric 'I saw a nice person'" Dating is really wild but it is nice when multiple alters like one person
I have extreme anxiety (and other mental health problems) that can cause me to disassociate, I don’t have DID but I find researching other mental heath problems interesting and it’s cool to see how other people explain theirs to the world. Cool video 👌🏻
Same, I don’t have DID but do have extreme anxiety and a type of personality disorder. I’ve noticed that when I’m extremely upset I go back to a time in my life which was when I felt “safe”. For me that is a young toddler/baby. My now ex boyfriend was amazing whenever that happened. He would just sit with me, brush my hair, plait it and help me realise that it was ok. Luckily for me, mine seemed to only happen a few times, when I was having breakdowns, so Chloe and all her alters are incredibly strong for dealing with this all the time.
For one alter in our system, Dick, Pizza is a trigger for him because our biological little brother (who is incredibly angry, violent, and is 6'3, even though he is 16) has caused him a lot of distress, and our little brother eats an entire pizza very often. It's the little things, but it may not make sense to everyone. -Jason
That makes sense to me :). For my PTSD a trigger used to be my first name. My parents only ever called me pet names unless they were being abusive. Everyone's triggers are unique and some may seem ordinary to most people.
the part about inner worlds and co consciousness is making me almost cry...! i thought i just daydreamed a lot and thats how id explain it to my therapist, so she didnt see why it felt compulsory. now i can explain it in terms of my DID. thank you for these words. i love you as a content creator
For a long time I believed I was in to 'ddlg' I was feel extremely small and would lose time for hours to weeks even months... I have been experiencing that since I was 13 or younger I am 19 now and just am reaching out for help.. I am petrified watching your videos i realize that I need to reach out for help i always believed maybe i was just schizophrenic but i show almost all signs of DID I have 6 alters that i know of so far and other voices and things I have not been able to figure out. Thank you for all of your videos and your info, your knowledge of having DID and what it is exactly. ~ The Velvet System
Yayyy thank you, I thought I would never see this again cuz you deleted it. I hope you reupload the other ones cuz your videos are so educational and it helped me a lot back then. Rewatching this after almost 3 years ❤️
Trauma can exist without disorders. You can go through something traumatic but come out with just memories. No matter your experiences, you are beautiful and valid.
In an art form I forgot the name of, when a glass bowl or plate breaks, its put back together with gold- makes me think of DID. The bowl is better and more functional together than it is apart. Different, but still beautiful
Chloe I am so struck with how at peace you seem to be. Your ability to express yourself and the way you are so knowledgable, careful with your words and careful to validate ideas you are especially passionate about. So much love for you and the work you are doing!!! (also- the DSM5 is also used in the US :)
aw while that means you've gotten really good at it, i'm sorry I can only imagine how isolating that can feel. so glad I found your channel, looking forward to following your journey and learning more from you. Do you think you'd ever do a sort of broad- intro to the alters? just naming and giving a brief description of them in 1 video? I saw Jade's video and thought it was a powerful olive branch from her and really appreciated what she was able to share and show how she feels and thinks and her experiences- and i'm looking forward to that series!!
I literally snorted at dissociaDID pun, that was great. I guess that was punintentional. Love pun, but beeside the point. Eggcellent video, definitely help to expand my terminology and understanding on DID. 👍🏼
I always wondered why one wouldn't want to integrate and lead a normal life. Then you mentioned reliving a memory and even the thought of integration caused you to dissociate immediately...... And that gave me the true answer.
I always look forward to your videos, their just so informative and just plain fun at times. And most of the time, I learn new terms and such that I didn't know before, like I learned from this video the term "singleton".
Words in order: 1. Alter/Headmates - 0:45 Different 'personalities' in the DID individual. They have their own opinions, preferences, abilities and disabilities, personality, appearance etc. Alters also carry different amounts of traumatic memory and some might not remember trauma at all. 2. Switch - 2:07 When an alter or alters are no longer in control (whether it be vocally, physically, and/or mentally) and another alter takes control of the body. 3. Out/Fronting - 2:31 When one or more alters are conscious 4. The host - 2:51 The alter that is 'out' the most. Sometimes there is more than one host. 5. Co-Con(scious) - 3:34 When more than one alter is 'out' 6. Dissociating 4:35 (have not seen recommended video) - When the mind wanders sometimes in little daydreams or sometimes as often or as severe as not being able to do simple tasks. In terms of trauma it is a defense mechanism 7. Inner world - 4:58 Fantasy world made by DID individual, home to the alters. Can be anything concievable to galaxies or Paris to one tiny street or room. Sometimes areas in the inner world have meaning such as dungeons may keep monsters or trauma away, but the world and their meanings are tailored to the individual. 8. Trauma(DID-specific) - 6:24 Catastrophic event that may cause a child to have DID. Must happen before the age of 8 to be eligible for DID. The traumatic event must cause a state of extreme shock, fear, and helplessness. 9.
I know I don't have DID but you just acknowledging trauma was so important for me I teared up. I do have some mental health issues stemming from trauma so that makes what you said so important to me. You are very very brave and I wish I could be that brave.
How is an older alter formed (such as gregory), when this all occurs from early childhood development? Like, how does a child know to form that protective, older alter if that makes sense?
I had to stop the video and comment when you talked about trauma to thank you. Trauma is different for everyone, and that just because your trauma is "less" than someone else's, that it isn't valid. It's so, so validating to hear that, and it literally made me cry. People tend to want to compare "war stories" and downplay some elses trauma because its "not as bad" and that can be very painful and damaging. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making me feel valid.
I recently discovered your channel, it's been a wealth of information. My wife was diagnosed at the beginning of the year with DID. For several years, it was a long, and honestly frightening journey until we found a therapist and a PTSD recovery center who knew what was happening. During that time her so called friends deserted her and she felt very alone and afraid. Now the fear is gone and the healing has started, 23 different personalities have emerged. I thank you for educating the masses about DID.
I thought I was crazy for having a whole society in my system and most people thought I was just making it up. I started to doubt myself as well. Ashamed of what was "wrong" with me. I thought I was alone. Thank you for reassuring I'm just as normal as anyone else
I started watching your videos yesterday when magically they started popping up on my feed. And I am into psychology so I'm not mad at it. I love your channel and I believe that you are very good at explaining what is actually going on in a brain with this disorder. I myself have anxiety (I don't know the type, professionals have said gad, sad, so maybe I have both) and depersonalization/derealization. On your videos when you say you are dissociating, I obviously don't know what is going on in your mind but it looks so much like me when my dp/dr gets all of a sudden worse. I first realized that it is a thing when a therapist that I was seeing said "hey, you're stuttering, why is that?" so I guess that is dissociating? I am now realizing that my comment has absolutely no direction whatsoever but I can say that even though I don't have DID, these videos are helping me learn a lot.
That’s amazing that even blood pressure and cholesterol can change with the alters! There’s so much people don’t know about DID, so you’re doing some amazing work here!
The amount of courage you have to come forward and talk online about DID and educate people on DID, is honestly so amazing and you’re such a role model for people who have DID and for people in general, you’ve taught me so much and honestly I’m so great-full for this. You have shown me courage in such a unique way and I honestly love you for that ❤️
I love watching your videos. The way you talk and deliver the information is helpful to those that have DID. Learning about DID from you is helping me understand how it affects a person. You are doing amazing, and just remember you and all your alters I've seen are amazing. Keep up the great work
Fascinating. You are a fantastic speaker and very good at explaining things in terms people understand. I am enjoying your channel so much and looking forward to the next video. One question I don’t know if you’ve answered or have been asked. How many alters cycle through a day and can you go long periods of time with just one being at the front? Thank you!
Thank you! For us, on a really switchy day there could be around 10 switches, maybe more, but sometimes I can go 2 days without switching at all, but that's unusual :)
You're doing an amazing job with this channel! I had my first therapist when I was young and I had a hard time communicating about my alters as well as the traumas I had experienced. I thought that something was wrong with me or that I was being bad for having alters. So I never brought it up again to any other therapists I have seen afterwards. Now that I am learning about the proper terms and how real this is, I am gaining the confidence of possibly discussing this with my current therapist in the near future. Thank you once again!
does the host always have the birth name of the body? like, were you born and named chloe, or was chloe a name that came later, like how the alters and their names come later (as i'm assuming their not present or at least not known of at birth)
Hiya. I know this is an old comment but I saw no one answered you so I wanted to answer. Hosts don't have to be the "original" personality and can change. I have acted as host for three years and I go by the name Serinity (was not assigned at the body's birth).
@@msb5775 It's different system to system, but in my system he does damage every time he gets control so I don't let him front. He does actively try to get the front, however.
BellaDonna L. Like Serenity said, it varies from System to system. It's possible for the host to be the one with the legal name. It's possible for multiple parts to cohost. It's possible for the "original" to go dormant. It's possible for the "original" to integrate into another part. It's possible for none of the parts to have the legal name. Just about anything you can think of, honestly.
I’m crying, you have made me feel so much better about what happened. I feel so worried about revealing to my psychologists what the traumas were that began all of me afterwards because it doesn’t always feel like it was “enough” but there was so much in so little time and I was just a little girl , and she deserves to be believed.
When you started talking about trauma and how it shouldn't be distinguished from veterans and so on. That really hit me! Thank you so much for saying that, I really needed to hear that
You said the words I've been searching for for so long. If bullying and loss it trauma then I finally know for sure that I am traumatized. I've been uncertain for so long but I felt like I was but everything told me that I didn't go through enough to be traumatized but I can't get a little bit sad now without spiraling and having all those feelings come flooding back. For a long time when I saw certain people I almost started shaking and wanting to cry and couldn't look at them in the hallway and just had to walk faster and look away. When I walked into school and down certain hallways I got anxious and felt on edge and kept my head down and oppressed even when it was over because I finally dealt with the bullies. Hearing people talk about me when I'm not part of the conversation can get me to spiral, especially if they are people from school I'm not friends with. Even if they talk about just my friends even it is pleasant, if it is certain people I want to turn around and scream at them. I have been able to deal with much of this better now because I turned my sadness and guilt into anger and blame. Instead of blaming myself for what others were doing to me I had to instead blame them for doing it at all. When I finally found a friend after being alone for so long, they helped me do this. They understood and they helped me. It's nice to feel validated that I'm not just crazy or overreacting it probably actually is trauma.
i love the way you describe being co conscious, i (as a person who does not have DID and does not have any first hand experience with it) had an easy time understanding it when you put that way. thank you for teaching me about your condition, otherwise i would have been so blind-sighted to what it means to have DID. movies and books and tv shows sensationalize DID, but you put it just like it is. the sensationalism the media gives DID just feeds into the stigma. movements like yours are so needed, because they get rid of the stigma and help people understand their own issues and the issues of others, and therefore they can get the help they need. thank you so much for everything you guys do.
one of your videos popped up in my recommendations and i ended up here! this was very informative, thank you for the explanations! the one about how/why this happens (weird wording bleh) really made a lot of sense
I found your channel today and have been watching your videos for the past like 4 hours.. i have bpd, depression and anxiety.. i love learning about other mental disorders, it helps me feel less alone in my struggles and makes me feel less crazy. I hope to one day create a channel about bpd myself. You all are so inspiring and i just wanna say that i love all of you and your roles in the system!
I noticed something I wanted to point out, though I don't know how to put this. I don't know how you feel about comparisons between your alters, so here's a warning for exactly that, I guess :) Also, TLDR warning apparently, it's late and when I'm tired I write a lot. Feel free to just... not... read it x) For most of the video, it is pretty obvious that Chloe is out. Her mannerisms and speech patterns are unique, she is enjoying being able to explain something she feels connected to. It's obvious this is important to her. But there are just a few times where I am reminded of another person: Jade. Jade does this thing where she'll look directly at the camera, confidently, and just ever so slightly raise her eyebrows. It's a tiny, tiny thing. It's this short moment of reaching out to the audience perhaps or a short refocusing of thought, though that's just a guess. It appears in Chloe's mannerisms in the exact same way, an almost perfect copy, drowned out by her faster speech patterns and quicker facial expressions, at least in comparison to Jade's behavior in the Meet the Alters video. But it's there. It's so fascinating to me, because it's the only thing that so clearly sticks out as such a direct relation. As far as I can tell, even if you share facial expressions or mannerisms, they are usually slightly different. Kyle will do the same thing, but he likes to cock his head doing it or the eyes face away. Nadia doesn't, as far as I could tell, or it just kind of went unnoticed because of her active gesturing and such. But it jumped out at me in this video and it took me a while to figure out what it was or who it reminded me of. I don't even know how to parse this information. Do you know of things like these that any of you share? Outside of any of you pretending to be Chloe, I mean. Is this even something you ever think about, or am I just tired and loopy and weird? (On a side note, I just realized that I am not addressing Chloe directly because you managed to get it into my brain that Chloe isn't the only person there. Good job on the education front, I guess. Also, hi Chloe! 😄)
I just found your channel yesterday and have been binge watching like crazy! What really hit me in this video is the idea of integration, i find it so weird sounding. I’m super interested now how that all works and am definitely going to do some reading on it cause I’m both strangely intrigued and also weirded out by it... it’s amazing to see you spread the awareness of DID and keep up the amazing work!!
I only heard of DID when I fell down the rabbit hole of RUclips, and I've learned so much from watching these videos. Thank you (all of you) for helping educate me. This video in particular has helped me get a better understanding of the disorder. I hope if I end up with someone in my life with DID that I will be better equipped to support them.
you're very good at validating others experiences and realities. I hope you will keep posting videos to encourage and uplift others. I'm thankful for you.
Your videos have really helped me. I don't have did but I have other mental health issues and you opening up about what you are going through is so inspiring. Your videos help me feel comfortable with opening up and it's also educating me. Thank you so much 💕
1:40 Gosh I can't decide if I should consider it extremely interesting or extremely scary....I still stick with both atm. But it's almost embarrassing how they can wear every hair colour and it fits so well ! ^^
Finding your videos a few days ago has finally given me the courage to see a doctor. A lot of what you say about your symptoms or struggles really strikes a chord even though I don’t think I have DID specifically. It helps, hearing someone accept a disorder so like what I’m experiencing and live with it not in spite of it. You made me realise that I couldn’t keep pretending I just had “normal quirks” when I know that I don’t behave the same as “everyone else”. Especially when it’s been so drastically preventing me from really living my life- and no matter how long it takes to figure out what’s wrong with me I’m ready to learn and improve. For me and people that love me or who may love me in the future. So thank you, for being so open and educated and thank you for loving yourself. I hope other people get the same motivation from your videos as I do 💜
As always... Thank you so much Chloe. You always know what to say and are always so clear. I love your channel so much. You've helped me and my system so much. Especially on feeling valid. ❤❤❤❤❤
I am in school to become a psychologist and I just wanted to say I really appreciate listening to your personal experience with DID. As someone who wants to become a mental health professional, I know the general criteria of DID, but do not know all of the nuances of the disorder as it is still debated on the validity of the disorder in America. I take the stance that it is a valid disorder as people do think this way and create ways to live with this type of thinking and systems. Whether it is actually different people with complete different personalities is the debate. I believe that the experience is completely valid. I truly enjoy being able to learn from people who actually have it and how they think and work within their own systems. Thank you for and all of your alters who come out and speak on camera for actually aiding in my ability to learn and understand this disorder as it is very tricky and nuanced.
Re: fight and flight responses. Everyone has a “freeze” response, not just systems. The body shuts down and dissociation occurs in a lot of ways. I’ve been learning a lot more about it in a book about trauma called “The Body Keeps the Score” (which you’ve probably heard of). In general thank you for the episode. I’ve been wanting something like this to show people.
Yes thats true! When I said dissociate here I meant dissociate to the point of creating a new alter, rather than just the freeze response which we all have 💖
Chloe, I'm truly thankful for your message that traumas are perceived differently. I really needed to hear that. It brought immense relief to me as I'm having some issues with my mother. She's controlling my meds since she thinks my anxiety attacks are caused by them and not by triggers. Anyways, the videos you all make are really informative and really amazing! I'm looking forward to more of them! Thank you DissociaDID for making them 😊 Love to you all from Brazil!
This was very informative! I thought a host was the “original” alter. So the one with the name the body was given at birth. I didn’t realize it was just the alter who fronts most often.
I commented on another video but I wanted to say how thankful I am for your channel once again. I have had a small amount of knowledge (all good, true, and positive) about DID and I am so grateful I have been able to learn much more through your videos. I enjoy all of your content and have been so interested and educated by it. I am so impressed at your willingness to advocate and educate about mental health and DID. You are amazing and I wish you the best with life and your channel! Thank you so much!
I really, really appreciate the way and manner you validate the essence and meaning of the word "trauma". I was put through such an experience that leaves me distrusting of grown, adult men- father figures, if you will, because I was sexually assaulted by a friend's father. Going through even such an event, I often compare myself to "well, it was a different kind of assault, he didnt put it in" or "at least you didnt go through what others do in this situation"-- the self hate is still there, the trauma is still there and it's valid. Something my own family and that very friend tried to invalidate. I dont mean to go all in and personal about my experience, but I appreciate how your experiences and want to create a safe and understanding space for ANY sort of trauma survivors ends up validating and making sense for everyone involved. I feel like Im not as crazy as I think sometimes and Im more normal for thinking the way I do every time a trigger happens and I want to claw out my own skin. Thank you for this..
Your videos are enthralling. I went through a horrid experience when I was 10-11 and it caused me to have triggers to certain situations and items. Thankfully it didn't cause DID. Learning about DID from your videos allowed me to learn more about why I feel the way I do sometimes. Thank you for helping me understand about myself.
I am in love with you and your content. I do not suffer from this disorder, but I just love learning about anything that interests me. I am curious to know if you can call on your alters to front? Like if someone said “can I talk with Nadia?” Does Nadia have the ability to then front? Or is it all done on their own terms? I watched the old footage on Eve White, Eve Black, and Jane. The person running the interview would ask to talk to her different alters and then just like that the requested alter would front......I can’t help but feel that seemed staged, but I can just be ignorant. I would love to know how it works for you. Thanks! Keep keeping on! 💗
Sometimes that can happen, names can be a powerful trigger, but not always. If an alter hears themselves being talked about they can sometimes step forward ❤
I am so glad that channels like this exist now! I have been married to a DID system for 15 years and these videos would have been so helpful in the beginning of our relationship! I feel like I would have been more helpful to him. For the longest time, my partner felt very isolated and ashamed of having DID. Thank goodness for channels like this to educate people, and break the stigma behind mental illness!
I just realised it's 02:39am. I've been binging your series and I'm just astonished at how well you explain things, it actually makes sense (also appreciate that it's backed up by science and that you keep bringing that up). Stay safe!
What if as a system, I can remember the things they do and they can remember the things I do? What if there was no memory loss, just different alters have different memories but all are accessible for everyone in the system? Is there such a thing? Can you help me? I'm hoping that you can answer this one. Thanks for your time ❤️
My sister told me about your channel about a week and a half ago and I've been watching your videos ever since and I love them! I love all of you! Mental health challenges are extremely common in my family and extended family (both sides of both sides of the family) - and it's about the same for my husband. Anxiety, deperession, ADHD, panic attacks, bi polar, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder are the most common ones. My husband has a lot of anxiety and depression and panic attacks. And as of this spring I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. I still need to see a doctor to get diagnosed, but everything about me makes so much more sense when viewed through the lense of ADHD! As you can probably imagine, I'm very passionate about mental health awareness - helping people to understand it and not treat it as some kind of taboo thing. I'd love to create a culture where people are not afraid to ask questions or seek help because mental health is no longer something to be afraid of and no longer has a stigma. What you are doing with this channel goes a long way to making this a reality. You really are making a huge difference in the world and I can't thank you enough!
Chloe, thank you very much for taking the time to explain so thoroughly each terminology, I'm getting to learn so much about DID thanks to you. I hope that people can be more open-minded in regard to mental illness so that one day no one will be afraid of opening-up about something they are struggling with. I love your channel, you're doing an amazing and I hope you are practicing self-care (I'm sure Sally is very much on top of it though).
thank you so much for sharing your experience with DID - so clearly and eloquently might i add. i’m planning on going to school to get my Masters in Social Work with the intent of helping those with mental disorders, and i’m particularly keen specializing in trauma. i, myself, have actually been diagnosed with C-PTSD which manifests in me as anxiety, some depression, and fairly severe dissociation (i’ve lived in a deep state of DP/DR 24/7 for the last 7 years, it always feels like i’m in a dream amongst other things). i don’t have DID, but my therapist likens a lot of things to “switching”. i’m still trying to figure everything out, but i want my experiences to help others. that said, i will be binge watching the hell out of your videos :)
(Rebecca and I found using I and me was easiest for us so we didn't get confused) I always found the terms "inner world" and "driving\sharing" a car confusing when I was researching D.I.D and I couldn't figure out why. Then we (all of us) realized it was because we had the "inner cell" where we kept the trauma, the "house" and "mind space\place" where all of us could control and front from via a panel\keyboard, plus the car where one or more us could drive around and if someone was using the keyboard\panel take\switchover and the people at the panel couldn't argue. And they (The people driving) could front but,they had to be co-con with the people at the keyboard unless they wanted to leave but, they would have to leave everything on in case someone who wasn't awake or was somewhere else could see what was going on. Or the people driving could take the over the panel (If no ones there. If there are people there they have to ask them if they want a turn.). However if the people in the car want a turn but, want there turn to be private they have to ask the people at the panel first and both sets or people have to leave a note (Its required because we're not sure exactly how many of us there are because the number fluctuates depending on if people want to disappear\hide or come out/greet\meet us.) and they should answer questions (Theres a mic, a translator, and different types of writing utensils) if anyone wants to ask them something (ie. Can I borrow the car to go to the store?, Can I have a turn?) but, if they can't its understood. However that all is different if someone absolutely has or needs to take over because of an extreme\urgent need. Urgent can very. Extreme is something one of us feels of the utmost importance: a need that the others are ignoring or haven't/can't recognize or what they feel, is ethire 1. Abuse 2. Truma 3. Repressing 4. One of us needs important but, private attention. P.S. Sorry for the super long post we don't have anyone right not that understands and we can talk to besides each other. ---- Rebecca and Rose. (With the a little help from the boys (Jay, Jace, Ghost (John), Jasson, Jayson, and Jayson-Grey-Lee.).Jk not really but, they want to feel included so, sure 😂) Byeeeeeeeee
I think I may do a slideshow with writing on this, the multiple worlds, places, powers, universes, galaxies, and then of course all of us and possibly the ones in hiding. --- Rose
Thank you for being so open and willing to educate us on this illness. I had heard of DID in my psychology classes however it was never explored in depth. It breaks my heart to know how DID is formed, however I admire the body and the brain's ability to survive and persevere. (I'm not sure if that's rude to say or not) Again thank you for sharing something so personal and I wish you well in the continuation of your journey.
Oh.. In the Country which I am from (Germany..) they do not use the DSM-V, but (mostly) the ICD-10.. (WHO) And now I have some Questions.. (from a single Personality like me..) 1. Can You prevent an Alter from "taking over" the Front? 2. Are there Situations in which only the Alter(s) that are out or co-con are affected by a Trigger? 3. Are there Situations in which the whole System would be affected in a negative Way? How to deal with that or how to prevent it, is it even possible? 4. Is there a Way to manage a State as an Alter, in which You would be alone, (or at least feel alone..) ever? And how do the other Alters feel like, for the Person that fronts? And how does the Person that is out feels like for the Rest of the System? Can You adjust Privacy how You want it? 5. What has to happen, to be co-con? Does it simply happen, or is there a specific Way to do it? [ And how is it, when a new Alter is born? How does it feel like? What does an new Alter have to learn, what (usually) not? ] Sorry if the Questions are too strange or even funny or simply "too hard" to answer.. :(
Hi! The dsm and icd are different. The ICD is the international classification of diseases and is used to diagnose physical illnesses and some mental illness. Germany probably does use the DSM as they have to in order for diagnosis to be valid and accurate:) The DSM is only available for specialists to use whereas the ICD can be acessed by the general public which is why you probably don't know about the DSM
I’ll answer a little as someone with DID but my perspective does not necessarily represent others with DID- 1) sometime one of us can keep another from fronting and sometimes we can’t. I’ve had both experiences.
3) yes, we have had situations in which the whole system was negatively affected and it sucks. It couldn’t have been prevented at the time (it was a big and unexpected trigger). If we knew how that could have been prevented we would have prevented it. After the trigger we just have to work together as much as possible to cope.
4) this is a hard question to answer and has a lot of variability between systems. For us, there is little to no adjustment in privacy between alters as we have greatly increased in co-consciousness. I can’t hide my thoughts of resentment from them, for instance even when I just think those things out of frustration. The only help is learning to be forgiving. Sometimes I am surprised at what they are and are not aware of. One of us used alcohol as a way of walling off the others but we don’t condone that. When another is out front, for me it feels like I am watching myself but unable to act or speak. Other times I’m not aware in the moment at all but have only a vague memory of it, like a dream.
I’ve recently gotten together with someone who has DID and I just wanna say thank you. Your videos have been helping me understand DID and what to do in certain situations. Thank you guys
Just found your channel after falling down a ASPD and DID rabbit hole after watching Shane Dawson’s new video and I’m so glad I did! You are absolutely lovely and I look forward to your future content! 💕
Just because someone else is in a full body cast, doesn’t mean your sprained ankle doesn’t hurt. Pain is pain and trauma is trauma, love your channel, quite new to this part of psychology, therefore binging your videos, I have to say, I love them! Very intriguing!
Wow I've experienced a large amount of trauma in my life but it started around age 11 or 12ish from bullying and social issues and now within the last 10 years the loss of a fiance to cancer and my own chronic medical conditions. So happy that i found this channel I'm always interested in learning about new conditions that I didn't know about before.
are there any more of these videos coming back or is this all you are allowed because I found your channel late when all of the videos were taken down and I wanted to learn more and I found that your videos were planned to come back so I was excited to see them so are there more coming because I'll be waiting patiently for them 😊
Hi Chloe! I never comment on RUclips videos but I am just so in love with your chanel that I had to. I am in school for social work currently and have always been fascinating with DID but have never really understood it as it is something we don’t really learn about in school. It is a disorder (along with the other trauma disorders) that I’ve considered specializing in. Keep making these amazing videos! You are doing wonderful things to help break down the stigma surrounding all mental illness. Also, we do use the DSM-V here in the US.
Is the Host the "original" personality? I mean the one that existed before the trauma. Can the "original" personality be so traumatised that a Alter is created that takes on the role as Host because the "original" is too hurt from the world? Love your videos, it's so education and I feel so welcomed to ask questions in order to educate myself. You and your system, you are amazing
Hi lovely, theres no original as DID is the failure to integrate personality, so multiple develop from the start! Hosts can change yes that's very common and alters can be created throughout life ❤
DissociaDID but arent you Chloe the original because before the trauma you experienced, and before the alters were created, it was just you alone born as Chloe and living your life as only Chloe with one personality. only after the childhood trauma, (when the wall was put up and the brain compartamentalized), and after the alters were created, with the brains failure to integrate personality, then the "original Chloe" became an alter as well?
DissociaDID . i just did before you wrote this and you answered my question there. i was actually gonna delete this after watching since you answered the question in that video but you got here first!. i now get that we all start out with multiple personalities before age 8. thanks. i am learning so much about this.
I don't have DID, but I do enjoy listening to your stories. You're super comfortable about yourself and aren't like most RUclipsrs who'd make videos like these just for a sob story or views. You want to educate people and thats that. Keep up the amazing channel!
I dont have DID but I got PTSD and I love your channel. It has helped me to understand my PTSD in a different way and I appreciate y'all for that. You guys are awesome and I love you all!!
I have a question for Chloe... Do you know anything about what has happened to you as a child that has caused some of the Alters? Or is all of that information kept with your other Alters and not shared with you? P.S I love your videos! ❤
Ive learnt some. Not much. The only trauma memories I have are from later on in life, childhood memories I have are such minor stuff i didnt even know it was bad. I think its minor anyway, other people not so much :) ❤ lots of love!
DissociaDID That is wonderful to hear! Though, I am sad for the alters that do carry those memories. May I ask which of your alters have those memories? I love that you encourage questions and interact with us! 💜
Thank you! Ruby, Gregory, some of our littles, Omega, Glass, Kyle, 'Demon', Muté, Mike and Nina all carry trauma. There are more of us inside but I dont know them all yet :) not sure if Jade does or not ❤
I think it's wonderful that you started this channel and that you are able to learn more about each of them by seeing all of their videos! Being able to document how they act, carry themselves, dress, speak, and think differently. Also being able to see them do your makeup was so fascinating! I watched Jades video and she seems so intelligent and full of wisdom. I would love to experience an alter for a day to experience this family dynamic, (if you will). It is intriguing, even though I am sadly aware that it is a burden to you at times, in the way that it affects your life. Have you thought about setting up cameras in your home, so when you have dissassociated and lose time, you can go back and see what you/they were doing? I'm sorry for all the questions, it is just so extremely fascinating to me! I just love your personality, outlook, and how you are so open with it.
Its so insane to me that parts of the brain can literally turn off when alters switch
maybe not use" insane " but use fascinating
@@sdrawkcabmiay fair enough. I just dont want people to think they are insane
mattymo56 they weren’t referring to the person. they’re referring to the concept as being otherworldly or just crazy to think about. the action, not the person. you can say that something about that person is something without referring to that person directly.
Ikr that blew my mind
Coltyn Stone-Lamontagne Chill man 😅 no offense but maybe you get offended by more then just what you said...
One of my favourite DID stories is when me (host) and my alter Alex were both in control. I was allowing Alex talk, because he was talking to a friend about our condition. This is how he explained our current situation:
"It's kinda like I have the wheel of a car, and Layla has the pedals. We both communicate with each other to drive around, but either of us could easily take full control"
I was pretty proud of him 😂
Lmao
Aww. That's so sweet.☺
omg my name is Layla tooo!!
(Asher) that's lovely also we have a alter called Alex too
420th like, lmao good job alex
why was her definition of trauma so comforting!? like the whole "your trauma is valid" thing was so nice!!
That's a big deal to understand: trauma is reaction in a person, it is not an outside event. So, when ever anyone has trauma symptoms, it means they have trauma. It doesn't matter tiniest bit what happened, it is valid trauma, since trauma is in that person. And that is the only definition of trauma.
There are events that are common to cause trauma, but no event can BE a trauma. Events don't have brains to react, only living things do.
So.. in a way the question about "what is your trauma" is false question. Or the answer to that will be just "it's DID" or "PTSD" etc.
omg yes!!!
Yeah I cried because I'm always battling with thinking that my trauma isn't "bad enough" to cause osdd-1b. I love the DissociaDID system.
@@typosinthebrain5363 Feeling like that is so common, it should be named as one of the symptoms of severe trauma.
I feel so too. Like my trauma's actually weren't that bad, at least what I know about it. In our case I think the reason was mostly lacking support. There was no safe adults in our life what so ever, we were alone.
I don't consider my traumas that bad, but if I'd know a baby or a child that lives in conditions I lived in, I'd feel really bad for them, and totally understand they need to get away from that environment. Think your past like that: would it be OK to put a child to live thru what you lived thru, if you could choose for them? And then try to empathize with yourself like you would with that child.
One reason why many parts in systems can think so as well, is that they don't feel the terror, because someone else has it. So they personally maybe weren't thru anything they couldn't handle, because someone else in the system was.
When it was severe enough for you to develop different kind of neurology, it was severe.
edit: Cute axolotl!
I totally agree! It felt so good listening to her saying this.
I had to pause to say thank you for bringing up the fact that just because someone had a "more severe" trauma doesn't mean a "less severe" is invalid/unimportant.
My father has DID, but for a long time he kept it secret from me, which we found, wasnt the best idea. . . I know the system is created to protect the person, but i definitely agree with telling people you are close to about it, for both their benefit and yours. At one time, i accidentally triggered my dad, and a child alter fronted, and he had a severe panic attack. I was rather young, so i have to say it was extremely frightening, especially not knowing what i had done to upset him so thoroughly. I honestly cannot thank you enough for making this channel, it has helped me sooo much with communicating with my dad. I really admire you for what youre doing, so great job ❤
A question for chloe: have you ever thought of comparing Myers Briggs personality test results with those of your alters? It could be a real interesting insight on the kind of people they are
I have and we are making a video on it xxx
I was literally thinking the same thing! That is so fascinating!
DissociaDID would you or anyone aware of which it is mind linking me to it?! Love to see that.
@@jennnnn911 I can't find it either and it's driving me crazy!
@@DissociaDID is this one of the videos that are no longer on the channel?
i have ptsd and sometimes i feel like im making a big deal out of nothing because i feel like my experience wasnt "traumatic enough", so it helps a lot to hear someone confirm that my trauma is valid
I can't imagine what you went through... Even thinking about integrating makes you uncomfortable. I wish you strength to cope with past experiences!
I can't say why Chloe and her system in particular are uncomfortable, but an unwillingness to integrate can go beyond a mere unwillingness to remember a past experience. Just imagine if you were an alter who feels and acts like a complete person. Integration is essentially removing these people from existence. Sure, they'll be a part of the host, but they as people may never be able to think or feel again. That's so scary!
@@catinabox3048 No, that is not how integration between parts happens. That is what parts (I don't use word alter, part means the same thing) are scared of, but that is fear without base in reality. Nobody is going to disappear, they are going to change but it's gonna feel natural to them. Instead it means all being co-conscious all the time, and they are gonna feel much more alive, fuller, "see world in colors", become 4D etc. That is how parts who are integrated describe it. NOT as disappearing.
First of all host personality is NOT any way the main personality everyone is gonna integrate into. Being a host is just a job in the system, like any other, hosts are parts like all other parts, they are NOT the center of the system AT ALL. They are usually secured from trauma so they can continue their work, not because they would be more important. Host personality is not who a system will become if it integrates. It's gonna become as someone nobody has ever known before, because they are gonna have traits from all parts. It's simply because non of the single parts could exist on their own. Only the whole system together has all that is needed. Example: as long as defenders/protectors are separate parts, there will be parts who don't know how to take care of themselves or stand for themselves. If they integrate, they are gonna have all that in one part, and that way they will be more safe, than with separate defender who is not always there. It doesn't mean defender is going to disappear, they are gonna blend with the ones they used to protect, and make them even more safe, and also stop themselves from over reacting. But all that needs to have a balance, and it's not there naturally when a person is severely traumatized, as is someone with DID. So blending them into one is not good enough, if they don't understand who they are, why they are, why they react and what is the real outside reality.And to have all that, thee needs to be therapy before integration.
In integration nobody wants to get rid of anybody, and nobody is going to disappear, instead of that it means the exact opposite. They are gonna become so close, they don't need walls between them anymore. It means all are VERY MUCH involved in everything at the same time and accepted without limits. It really is not about getting rid of anyone. Getting rid of parts is impossible, they are all needed and they can't go away even if they want to, or "die" and stop existing. Integration is the ultimate co-operation.
Integration can start at anywhere in the system, hosts mostly don't have anything to do with first integrations. Anyone can become as one with anyone, or one becomes part of many already existing parts. You can not control how it happens, when and where, it depends about parts and when they are ready.
Some traits are gonna go away, because one identity can not be 5 males, 2 trans people, couple of non gender identifiable entities and 17 females at the same time for example in one identity. There will be only one view of the gender left, simple one or complex. What it will be, nobody will know, until the integration has happened. But nothing is taken away from anyone by force. Everything that changes is going to feel natural and it happens because you don't have any reason to protect your separateness from other yous so much anymore.
It feels like growing. Before you had narrow view on things, just your own, but after you can share it with all, and they all share theirs with you, you all simply understand the whole thing better, from different angles, and your new together view on that thing is gonna be based on that new understanding you simply didn't have before, and now you are that much fuller. And because of understanding more, you are going to change.Not because someone takes something away from you, but because now you finally can see the big picture.
So there's nothing to be scared of if you let your system to integrate naturally, when traumas are being dealt with. However if anyone tries to force an integration when all trauma, or too much trauma is still there, it will lead into a chaos and is most dangerous thing you can do. Walls need to be where they are, as long as there's too much trauma to deal with. When it's all normal memories, it is very different thing for all parts to understand they all shared the same life and experiences in the end. Even when all parts weren't fronting when it happened, they will get all info when they share their mind as one united mind with other parts. But it's not gonna be flash backs anymore, it's gonna be normal processed memories. Sad ones surely, but part of their life.
Many systems decide they are not going to even try or let themselves to integrate because of false understanding about how it is. And that is sad. Everyone is scared of the unknown, and it's very hard to picture how are you gonna be like, when you are profoundly different from how you used to be, and become from one narrow part to a whole system in a way. But the sense of self, feeling of being me, is gonna be there, and it's gonna be the same and feel the same, no matter how much your opinions on things, or views on who you really are, changes. Because it simply is finally growing into what you were supposed to be.
Idea of integration certainly triggers systems, that are not ready to do it, including mine. It's a good thing, because it stops forced integration if anyone tries to (meaning for example a T who doesn't understand DID). In reality all you do is find everyone, help them, learn to communicate, understand, accept and co-operate. And you can continue it to a point of integration. It's nothing to be scared of when system is ready. Just don't set any limits for how co-conscious or how co-operative are you allowed to become. Let it happen as far as you can.
Sorry for ranting. Anyone who found this helpful is allowed to quote anything they want from this to educational purposes any time.
Floralie this is so interesting to me (as a single personality) because I haven't really heard stories of full system integrations before. I've heard of alters integrating, both positive and negative outcomes depending on how it happened and what alters were integrated, but it's facinating how much care and delicacy truly goes into integration. I appreciate you typing this out, it's been a great read!
@@ellespoonies People with only one personality and one identity are fascinating to us.
Integration truly is very delicate, and there's a lot that can go wrong with it. I'm promoting it to share a different view on it from people who have experienced it, because it seems to be rare for systems to talk about it positively. They are scared of "dying" and disappearing and scared of the unknown. And if that makes you dissociate, it's more than understandable to avoid it, and as long as it is like that, it's clear it's not possible and no one is allowed to cross that boundary. And that is why it can be dangerous if ever forced or done .. I don't know how to say it. You shouldn't rule it out, and it can happen. But if you try it too hard, it can go wrong, because something was still pushed over their limits.
I know parts of many many systems don't like us saying this, but like we describe fragments as 2D and full parts 3D, integrated system is 4D. I know some people will read that the way I don't mean it, meaning people without DID are something more than us parts are. It's not about someone being more important or anything like that, it's very concrete. 4th dimension is time. When you are integrated, you don't need to share time anymore. That makes you 4D.
@@floralie3074 I greatly appreciate all the information you wrote. I have a single personality, but have been watching a lot of videos on DID lately. I'm a highly curious person and I want to know about everything so I can pacifically coexist with as many people as I can. However, I know I can't just ask away all my questions. I want to be respectful and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, especially when it comes to mental health, and I had so many questions about Integration, that both you and the video answered, that I knew I shouldn't ask because I didn't want to trigger anyone.
I've been literally binge watching all of your videos and I am just speechless and pretty much fell in love with all of you :O you are so charming and sweet (all of you who I kind of got to know through the videos!). Your videos are so incredibly informative and interesting and it's in some way amazing to see what your brain can do to keep yourself safe. I wish all of you only the best! But during the videos there was one question that popped up in my head here and there. As all of you are pretty much your own kind of person sharing one and the same body, are there some of you that wish they had their own body? Or that wish to be "their own"?
We all wish we had our own bodies, but most of us would never choose to be apart ❤ Sending love!
Mercedita - I came across one of her videos, I forget how, but too literally can’t stop watching. I don’t have DID but I’ve always been interested in it and I’ve learned so much from them. They’re all so charming as well. I lobe Ruby. She reminds me of myself.
Same i completely got hooked and was just was amazed with all of them!!!
@@McPoyleBros same!! I'd watched movies where there was instances of DID and I became really interested, I also knew with it being Hollywood that it wasnt really fact based, so it's awesome to have people like chloe and everyone in the dissociaDID system, and the other systems on RUclips, who explain it and break it down for everyone who genuinely wants to learn about it.
Ive been binging too! I think it's so interesting and they've done so well with their videos
I am a social worker from Germany and came in contact with DID recently. Your videos are very informativ and helpfull. Thank you 🙂.
I'm very glad to hear that! All the best x
Um, so.... I've had 3 alters for as long as I remember, and I've told my therapist about them... However, My therapist refuses to diagnose it as DID because "she doesn't believe in it." I was told it was possible DID by a friend interested in psychology that I have three people who are always sharing my mind and that there were times I would black out and wake up as it were, not remembering where I was. There was one time I didn't even remember my own name. My parents told me my trauma as a kid wasn't really a "Trauma". So...I looked up everything I could about it...And I realized everything that was talked about was something that I could relate to.
So thank you. This was very informative.
NikkiMoonlightVA Hi, Im an alter. Im Sarah, nice to meet you.😊Im so sorry you have to handle that, our host/OG has gone to therapy since she was 8 and she is 18 now, she always did her best to hide us from them, because of idiots like your therapist. You are very valid, even if you dont have it on paper. You know its real in your heart.❤️🧡💛💛💚💙Bringing her own beliefs into the mix is not ok, she is a therapist not a cherry picker. I hope you have a good day and know we support you.🐼
@@glitterlover3244 Thank you very much, Sarah. We appreciate it. One of my alters, Aubrey, gets angry at the therapist because once I was bad off and he was out to make sure I was able to rest... and she forced me back out. It was before I was diagnosed with iron-deficient Anemia.
NikkiMoonlightVA geeez I’m so sorry. I hope you can find\have found a new therapist who actually listens and understands you all.
NikkiMoonlightVA You deserve better. I hope you are with a better therapist or are at least looking for one who knows what they’re doing.
No offense to this therapist or anything but like... how’d you.. how are you a psychologist but not believe it’s real? Lol
Hi Chloe, I have recently ...like today... found your channel. I just fell in love with you and the way you explain our Disorder. I too am a Co-Manager or Host of my "Family" or as you say System. One of my protectors was nearly jumping up and down watching Jade say that she will do anything it takes to protect your "littles" or as we call our children in your video explaining why you won't discuss specifically your littles. I love your channel and can't wait to get through all of your videos. Thank you for your bravery in coming forward and giving another face of DID or MPD (sorry when I was diagnosed it was still MPD just being changed to DID).
I love when you use sunlight to illuminate your videos, it looks so nice with your face
Thank you ☺
It looks super nice. The only complaint I could have about lighting is the shadow makes the camera constantly act weird with exposure.
Chloe, that bow you're wearing (which by the way is really cute) kinda reminded me of the one Kiki wears in Kiki's Delivery Service, if you've ever seen it, if not, I highly recommend it :)
I LOVE Ghibli 💖
Me too, Kiki's Delivery Service, My Neighbor Totoro, and Ponyo are my top three favorites :)
Spirited away
@@aaronwilder2775 EEK SAMEEE
It totally does!!!
Watching your channel has really enlightened and encouraged me. I don't have D.I.D, but I experienced an ongoing traumatic experience when I was 19 and 20. When I returned to a safe environment and life afterwards, I just tried to ignore what had happened and "move on with my life". I didn't think that what I had experienced was traumatic. The definitions of trauma that I had heard all focused on physical violence, which I didn't experience. I just thought that I was weak, sensitive, or making too big a deal of it. Then in my safe life, things would come back. Someone would say something in normal conversation and I would just burst into tears without knowing why. I would see an ordinary object and feel an overwhelming sense of fear or have flashbacks. The first few months of work were exhausting because I was just constantly being triggered and I feared for my safety even though there was no threat there. After months and months of this, I finally sought help. I'm seeing a counselor now who heard my story and immediately recognized it as trauma. I'm going to keep seeing her, maybe even long term. You and other similar RUclipsrs who talk about mental health have pushed me to seek help. You taught me that there is no shame in asking for help when you need it.
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 Proud of you
This is amazing. I just wanted to let you know that you are brave, and the trauma you have experienced doesn't define who you are, or your worth. xo
If one or more of your alters has a different sexuality does that make dating complicated? /Dating in general complicated because your alters are different people?
You would not believe the struggle I had trying to work out my sexuality. Im bisexual (Chloe) Nadia is pansexual, Ruby is a lesbian, Gregory is asexual, Sally is straight, Kyle is bi, it gets so complicated
Yes. It's complicated. I solved the problem with consensual non-monogamy.
Yes, being polyam helps. ❤ - Candy
Dating my ex girlfriend while my male side James was very much THERE and him being homoromantic and like me asexual it was hard for him, he saw her as more of a close friend while i saw her as a romantic partner and the little had no experience with her really. The female alter Conny has still yet to come out so i dont really know on her. It was so hard because i didnt want James uncomfortable but as we are (mostly) ace and our partners aren't so unless we agree on someone we perfer whoever is with them stay with them and the others just be friends and be in an open relationship as ace is hard to date when you arent ace and have a high strong drive and the ace isnt comfortable, sex repulsed, or just not ready it can be hard but we chose to let them be open but honestly i have only personally experienced it once and i am bad with being left in the dark and i was much too new to do it correctly and its best go have rules and i would have put one as "Tell me beforehand even in a genaric 'I saw a nice person'"
Dating is really wild but it is nice when multiple alters like one person
@@alexiahurley2250 consensual among the partners or the alters? (or both)
I have extreme anxiety (and other mental health problems) that can cause me to disassociate, I don’t have DID but I find researching other mental heath problems interesting and it’s cool to see how other people explain theirs to the world. Cool video 👌🏻
Same, I don’t have DID but do have extreme anxiety and a type of personality disorder. I’ve noticed that when I’m extremely upset I go back to a time in my life which was when I felt “safe”. For me that is a young toddler/baby. My now ex boyfriend was amazing whenever that happened. He would just sit with me, brush my hair, plait it and help me realise that it was ok. Luckily for me, mine seemed to only happen a few times, when I was having breakdowns, so Chloe and all her alters are incredibly strong for dealing with this all the time.
For one alter in our system, Dick, Pizza is a trigger for him because our biological little brother (who is incredibly angry, violent, and is 6'3, even though he is 16) has caused him a lot of distress, and our little brother eats an entire pizza very often. It's the little things, but it may not make sense to everyone. -Jason
That makes sense to me :). For my PTSD a trigger used to be my first name. My parents only ever called me pet names unless they were being abusive. Everyone's triggers are unique and some may seem ordinary to most people.
the part about inner worlds and co consciousness is making me almost cry...! i thought i just daydreamed a lot and thats how id explain it to my therapist, so she didnt see why it felt compulsory. now i can explain it in terms of my DID. thank you for these words. i love you as a content creator
I’m new to did so I have a question do I now have to have the pronouns of we and them
@@The_LMB_Teamuse whatever pronouns you want
For a long time I believed I was in to 'ddlg' I was feel extremely small and would lose time for hours to weeks even months... I have been experiencing that since I was 13 or younger I am 19 now and just am reaching out for help.. I am petrified watching your videos i realize that I need to reach out for help i always believed maybe i was just schizophrenic but i show almost all signs of DID I have 6 alters that i know of so far and other voices and things I have not been able to figure out. Thank you for all of your videos and your info, your knowledge of having DID and what it is exactly.
~ The Velvet System
I LOVE how she said, "Your trauma is not less valid." Trauma is Trauma. It affects everyone differently.
Firstly love, secondly I'm dying for meet the alters videos.
Yayyy thank you, I thought I would never see this again cuz you deleted it. I hope you reupload the other ones cuz your videos are so educational and it helped me a lot back then. Rewatching this after almost 3 years ❤️
Hopefully their recent post will help explain what happened with such videos
@@bellaboo9211what happened?
Trauma can exist without disorders. You can go through something traumatic but come out with just memories. No matter your experiences, you are beautiful and valid.
In an art form I forgot the name of, when a glass bowl or plate breaks, its put back together with gold- makes me think of DID. The bowl is better and more functional together than it is apart. Different, but still beautiful
Kintsugi - it's an japanese art form
Chloe I am so struck with how at peace you seem to be. Your ability to express yourself and the way you are so knowledgable, careful with your words and careful to validate ideas you are especially passionate about. So much love for you and the work you are doing!!! (also- the DSM5 is also used in the US :)
Thank you lovely, we've had lots of practice coming across like nothing is wrong, a lot of the calmness is probably dissociation 😅💖 Thank you so much
aw while that means you've gotten really good at it, i'm sorry I can only imagine how isolating that can feel. so glad I found your channel, looking forward to following your journey and learning more from you. Do you think you'd ever do a sort of broad- intro to the alters? just naming and giving a brief description of them in 1 video? I saw Jade's video and thought it was a powerful olive branch from her and really appreciated what she was able to share and show how she feels and thinks and her experiences- and i'm looking forward to that series!!
We are kind of doing that with our making our alters on the sims series, but I could do a very brief intro to us sure!
I love how I know the alters so well now, and can tell who is talking and who is consious.
I literally snorted at dissociaDID pun, that was great. I guess that was punintentional. Love pun, but beeside the point. Eggcellent video, definitely help to expand my terminology and understanding on DID. 👍🏼
Those awful jokes should be a PUNishable offence. But thank you
I just quite like punny things!... But yes, Krystal Heart is correct. It is a cracking good video! You even have an amusing yoke!
@@DissociaDID
I said your channel name 2 times fast.
How it sounded like: dissociated
*please dont PUNish me*
I always wondered why one wouldn't want to integrate and lead a normal life. Then you mentioned reliving a memory and even the thought of integration caused you to dissociate immediately...... And that gave me the true answer.
I always look forward to your videos, their just so informative and just plain fun at times. And most of the time, I learn new terms and such that I didn't know before, like I learned from this video the term "singleton".
Your ability to explain things is awesome!
Words in order:
1. Alter/Headmates - 0:45 Different 'personalities' in the DID individual. They have their own opinions, preferences, abilities and disabilities, personality, appearance etc. Alters also carry different amounts of traumatic memory and some might not remember trauma at all.
2. Switch - 2:07 When an alter or alters are no longer in control (whether it be vocally, physically, and/or mentally) and another alter takes control of the body.
3. Out/Fronting - 2:31 When one or more alters are conscious
4. The host - 2:51 The alter that is 'out' the most. Sometimes there is more than one host.
5. Co-Con(scious) - 3:34 When more than one alter is 'out'
6. Dissociating 4:35 (have not seen recommended video) - When the mind wanders sometimes in little daydreams or sometimes as often or as severe as not being able to do simple tasks. In terms of trauma it is a defense mechanism
7. Inner world - 4:58 Fantasy world made by DID individual, home to the alters. Can be anything concievable to galaxies or Paris to one tiny street or room. Sometimes areas in the inner world have meaning such as dungeons may keep monsters or trauma away, but the world and their meanings are tailored to the individual.
8. Trauma(DID-specific) - 6:24 Catastrophic event that may cause a child to have DID. Must happen before the age of 8 to be eligible for DID. The traumatic event must cause a state of extreme shock, fear, and helplessness.
9.
thanks, this one should be pinned
My favourite word
9.
Just been formally diagnosed. This video helps a lot. Thank you :)
I know I don't have DID but you just acknowledging trauma was so important for me I teared up. I do have some mental health issues stemming from trauma so that makes what you said so important to me. You are very very brave and I wish I could be that brave.
How often, on average, do you switch per day? Whats the longest you’ve gone without switching? Awesome videos. I adore your system.
How is an older alter formed (such as gregory), when this all occurs from early childhood development? Like, how does a child know to form that protective, older alter if that makes sense?
today's video is about age in alters! it will answer this!
I had to stop the video and comment when you talked about trauma to thank you. Trauma is different for everyone, and that just because your trauma is "less" than someone else's, that it isn't valid.
It's so, so validating to hear that, and it literally made me cry. People tend to want to compare "war stories" and downplay some elses trauma because its "not as bad" and that can be very painful and damaging. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making me feel valid.
I recently discovered your channel, it's been a wealth of information. My wife was diagnosed at the beginning of the year with DID. For several years, it was a long, and honestly frightening journey until we found a therapist and a PTSD recovery center who knew what was happening. During that time her so called friends deserted her and she felt very alone and afraid. Now the fear is gone and the healing has started, 23 different personalities have emerged. I thank you for educating the masses about DID.
How's it been?
I thought I was crazy for having a whole society in my system and most people thought I was just making it up. I started to doubt myself as well. Ashamed of what was "wrong" with me. I thought I was alone. Thank you for reassuring I'm just as normal as anyone else
I started watching your videos yesterday when magically they started popping up on my feed. And I am into psychology so I'm not mad at it. I love your channel and I believe that you are very good at explaining what is actually going on in a brain with this disorder. I myself have anxiety (I don't know the type, professionals have said gad, sad, so maybe I have both) and depersonalization/derealization. On your videos when you say you are dissociating, I obviously don't know what is going on in your mind but it looks so much like me when my dp/dr gets all of a sudden worse. I first realized that it is a thing when a therapist that I was seeing said "hey, you're stuttering, why is that?" so I guess that is dissociating? I am now realizing that my comment has absolutely no direction whatsoever but I can say that even though I don't have DID, these videos are helping me learn a lot.
That definitely is dissociating! And thank you so much ❤
That’s amazing that even blood pressure and cholesterol can change with the alters! There’s so much people don’t know about DID, so you’re doing some amazing work here!
The amount of courage you have to come forward and talk online about DID and educate people on DID, is honestly so amazing and you’re such a role model for people who have DID and for people in general, you’ve taught me so much and honestly I’m so great-full for this. You have shown me courage in such a unique way and I honestly love you for that ❤️
I forgot how soft-spoken Chloe was
I love watching your videos. The way you talk and deliver the information is helpful to those that have DID. Learning about DID from you is helping me understand how it affects a person.
You are doing amazing, and just remember you and all your alters I've seen are amazing. Keep up the great work
Thank you so much!!
DissociaDID anytime, big supporter of your channel and all of you bringing recognition to those that have DID.
Btw hello Sally,and Nadia
(Nadia says hi hahaha!)
Fascinating. You are a fantastic speaker and very good at explaining things in terms people understand. I am enjoying your channel so much and looking forward to the next video. One question I don’t know if you’ve answered or have been asked. How many alters cycle through a day and can you go long periods of time with just one being at the front? Thank you!
Thank you! For us, on a really switchy day there could be around 10 switches, maybe more, but sometimes I can go 2 days without switching at all, but that's unusual :)
DissociaDID that’s so fascinating. Thank you for sharing your life!
DissociaDID
how long was the longest that someone else fronted for?
You're doing an amazing job with this channel! I had my first therapist when I was young and I had a hard time communicating about my alters as well as the traumas I had experienced. I thought that something was wrong with me or that I was being bad for having alters. So I never brought it up again to any other therapists I have seen afterwards. Now that I am learning about the proper terms and how real this is, I am gaining the confidence of possibly discussing this with my current therapist in the near future. Thank you once again!
does the host always have the birth name of the body? like, were you born and named chloe, or was chloe a name that came later, like how the alters and their names come later (as i'm assuming their not present or at least not known of at birth)
Hiya. I know this is an old comment but I saw no one answered you so I wanted to answer. Hosts don't have to be the "original" personality and can change. I have acted as host for three years and I go by the name Serinity (was not assigned at the body's birth).
Serinity does the original personality still reside in the body and does it still come out to the front sometimes?
@@msb5775 It's different system to system, but in my system he does damage every time he gets control so I don't let him front. He does actively try to get the front, however.
Serinity thanks for the answers! There’s so much for me to learn!
BellaDonna L.
Like Serenity said, it varies from System to system. It's possible for the host to be the one with the legal name. It's possible for multiple parts to cohost. It's possible for the "original" to go dormant. It's possible for the "original" to integrate into another part. It's possible for none of the parts to have the legal name. Just about anything you can think of, honestly.
I’m crying, you have made me feel so much better about what happened. I feel so worried about revealing to my psychologists what the traumas were that began all of me afterwards because it doesn’t always feel like it was “enough” but there was so much in so little time and I was just a little girl , and she deserves to be believed.
When you started talking about trauma and how it shouldn't be distinguished from veterans and so on. That really hit me! Thank you so much for saying that, I really needed to hear that
You said the words I've been searching for for so long. If bullying and loss it trauma then I finally know for sure that I am traumatized. I've been uncertain for so long but I felt like I was but everything told me that I didn't go through enough to be traumatized but I can't get a little bit sad now without spiraling and having all those feelings come flooding back. For a long time when I saw certain people I almost started shaking and wanting to cry and couldn't look at them in the hallway and just had to walk faster and look away. When I walked into school and down certain hallways I got anxious and felt on edge and kept my head down and oppressed even when it was over because I finally dealt with the bullies. Hearing people talk about me when I'm not part of the conversation can get me to spiral, especially if they are people from school I'm not friends with. Even if they talk about just my friends even it is pleasant, if it is certain people I want to turn around and scream at them. I have been able to deal with much of this better now because I turned my sadness and guilt into anger and blame. Instead of blaming myself for what others were doing to me I had to instead blame them for doing it at all. When I finally found a friend after being alone for so long, they helped me do this. They understood and they helped me. It's nice to feel validated that I'm not just crazy or overreacting it probably actually is trauma.
Sending love, I hope all of your videos will come back soon! I miss yall
Do you still have Patreon?
i love the way you describe being co conscious, i (as a person who does not have DID and does not have any first hand experience with it) had an easy time understanding it when you put that way. thank you for teaching me about your condition, otherwise i would have been so blind-sighted to what it means to have DID. movies and books and tv shows sensationalize DID, but you put it just like it is. the sensationalism the media gives DID just feeds into the stigma. movements like yours are so needed, because they get rid of the stigma and help people understand their own issues and the issues of others, and therefore they can get the help they need. thank you so much for everything you guys do.
one of your videos popped up in my recommendations and i ended up here! this was very informative, thank you for the explanations! the one about how/why this happens (weird wording bleh) really made a lot of sense
I found your channel today and have been watching your videos for the past like 4 hours.. i have bpd, depression and anxiety.. i love learning about other mental disorders, it helps me feel less alone in my struggles and makes me feel less crazy. I hope to one day create a channel about bpd myself. You all are so inspiring and i just wanna say that i love all of you and your roles in the system!
I noticed something I wanted to point out, though I don't know how to put this. I don't know how you feel about comparisons between your alters, so here's a warning for exactly that, I guess :) Also, TLDR warning apparently, it's late and when I'm tired I write a lot. Feel free to just... not... read it x)
For most of the video, it is pretty obvious that Chloe is out. Her mannerisms and speech patterns are unique, she is enjoying being able to explain something she feels connected to. It's obvious this is important to her. But there are just a few times where I am reminded of another person: Jade.
Jade does this thing where she'll look directly at the camera, confidently, and just ever so slightly raise her eyebrows. It's a tiny, tiny thing. It's this short moment of reaching out to the audience perhaps or a short refocusing of thought, though that's just a guess. It appears in Chloe's mannerisms in the exact same way, an almost perfect copy, drowned out by her faster speech patterns and quicker facial expressions, at least in comparison to Jade's behavior in the Meet the Alters video. But it's there.
It's so fascinating to me, because it's the only thing that so clearly sticks out as such a direct relation. As far as I can tell, even if you share facial expressions or mannerisms, they are usually slightly different. Kyle will do the same thing, but he likes to cock his head doing it or the eyes face away. Nadia doesn't, as far as I could tell, or it just kind of went unnoticed because of her active gesturing and such. But it jumped out at me in this video and it took me a while to figure out what it was or who it reminded me of.
I don't even know how to parse this information. Do you know of things like these that any of you share? Outside of any of you pretending to be Chloe, I mean. Is this even something you ever think about, or am I just tired and loopy and weird?
(On a side note, I just realized that I am not addressing Chloe directly because you managed to get it into my brain that Chloe isn't the only person there. Good job on the education front, I guess. Also, hi Chloe! 😄)
I just found your channel yesterday and have been binge watching like crazy! What really hit me in this video is the idea of integration, i find it so weird sounding. I’m super interested now how that all works and am definitely going to do some reading on it cause I’m both strangely intrigued and also weirded out by it... it’s amazing to see you spread the awareness of DID and keep up the amazing work!!
i’m writing a research paper on DID and this was very helpful, thank you!
I only heard of DID when I fell down the rabbit hole of RUclips, and I've learned so much from watching these videos. Thank you (all of you) for helping educate me. This video in particular has helped me get a better understanding of the disorder. I hope if I end up with someone in my life with DID that I will be better equipped to support them.
you're very good at validating others experiences and realities. I hope you will keep posting videos to encourage and uplift others. I'm thankful for you.
Your videos have really helped me. I don't have did but I have other mental health issues and you opening up about what you are going through is so inspiring. Your videos help me feel comfortable with opening up and it's also educating me. Thank you so much 💕
1:40 Gosh I can't decide if I should consider it extremely interesting or extremely scary....I still stick with both atm.
But it's almost embarrassing how they can wear every hair colour and it fits so well ! ^^
Finding your videos a few days ago has finally given me the courage to see a doctor. A lot of what you say about your symptoms or struggles really strikes a chord even though I don’t think I have DID specifically. It helps, hearing someone accept a disorder so like what I’m experiencing and live with it not in spite of it. You made me realise that I couldn’t keep pretending I just had “normal quirks” when I know that I don’t behave the same as “everyone else”. Especially when it’s been so drastically preventing me from really living my life- and no matter how long it takes to figure out what’s wrong with me I’m ready to learn and improve. For me and people that love me or who may love me in the future. So thank you, for being so open and educated and thank you for loving yourself. I hope other people get the same motivation from your videos as I do 💜
As always... Thank you so much Chloe. You always know what to say and are always so clear. I love your channel so much. You've helped me and my system so much. Especially on feeling valid. ❤❤❤❤❤
You are so valid!! 💖💖💖💖💖
Wow that highlight, we stan a glowing queen!
I am in school to become a psychologist and I just wanted to say I really appreciate listening to your personal experience with DID. As someone who wants to become a mental health professional, I know the general criteria of DID, but do not know all of the nuances of the disorder as it is still debated on the validity of the disorder in America. I take the stance that it is a valid disorder as people do think this way and create ways to live with this type of thinking and systems. Whether it is actually different people with complete different personalities is the debate. I believe that the experience is completely valid. I truly enjoy being able to learn from people who actually have it and how they think and work within their own systems. Thank you for and all of your alters who come out and speak on camera for actually aiding in my ability to learn and understand this disorder as it is very tricky and nuanced.
Re: fight and flight responses. Everyone has a “freeze” response, not just systems. The body shuts down and dissociation occurs in a lot of ways. I’ve been learning a lot more about it in a book about trauma called “The Body Keeps the Score” (which you’ve probably heard of). In general thank you for the episode. I’ve been wanting something like this to show people.
Yes thats true! When I said dissociate here I meant dissociate to the point of creating a new alter, rather than just the freeze response which we all have 💖
Chloe, I'm truly thankful for your message that traumas are perceived differently. I really needed to hear that. It brought immense relief to me as I'm having some issues with my mother. She's controlling my meds since she thinks my anxiety attacks are caused by them and not by triggers. Anyways, the videos you all make are really informative and really amazing! I'm looking forward to more of them! Thank you DissociaDID for making them 😊 Love to you all from Brazil!
This was very informative! I thought a host was the “original” alter. So the one with the name the body was given at birth. I didn’t realize it was just the alter who fronts most often.
I commented on another video but I wanted to say how thankful I am for your channel once again. I have had a small amount of knowledge (all good, true, and positive) about DID and I am so grateful I have been able to learn much more through your videos. I enjoy all of your content and have been so interested and educated by it. I am so impressed at your willingness to advocate and educate about mental health and DID. You are amazing and I wish you the best with life and your channel! Thank you so much!
I love your intro music so much! Thanks for the informative video!
I really, really appreciate the way and manner you validate the essence and meaning of the word "trauma".
I was put through such an experience that leaves me distrusting of grown, adult men- father figures, if you will, because I was sexually assaulted by a friend's father.
Going through even such an event, I often compare myself to "well, it was a different kind of assault, he didnt put it in" or "at least you didnt go through what others do in this situation"-- the self hate is still there, the trauma is still there and it's valid. Something my own family and that very friend tried to invalidate.
I dont mean to go all in and personal about my experience, but I appreciate how your experiences and want to create a safe and understanding space for ANY sort of trauma survivors ends up validating and making sense for everyone involved.
I feel like Im not as crazy as I think sometimes and Im more normal for thinking the way I do every time a trigger happens and I want to claw out my own skin. Thank you for this..
I’ve learned SOOOO much from your videos. Thank you!!!! ❤️❤️
Your videos are enthralling. I went through a horrid experience when I was 10-11 and it caused me to have triggers to certain situations and items. Thankfully it didn't cause DID. Learning about DID from your videos allowed me to learn more about why I feel the way I do sometimes. Thank you for helping me understand about myself.
I am in love with you and your content. I do not suffer from this disorder, but I just love learning about anything that interests me. I am curious to know if you can call on your alters to front? Like if someone said “can I talk with Nadia?” Does Nadia have the ability to then front? Or is it all done on their own terms? I watched the old footage on Eve White, Eve Black, and Jane. The person running the interview would ask to talk to her different alters and then just like that the requested alter would front......I can’t help but feel that seemed staged, but I can just be ignorant. I would love to know how it works for you. Thanks! Keep keeping on! 💗
Sometimes that can happen, names can be a powerful trigger, but not always. If an alter hears themselves being talked about they can sometimes step forward ❤
I am so glad that channels like this exist now! I have been married to a DID system for 15 years and these videos would have been so helpful in the beginning of our relationship! I feel like I would have been more helpful to him. For the longest time, my partner felt very isolated and ashamed of having DID. Thank goodness for channels like this to educate people, and break the stigma behind mental illness!
My QPP calls them "brain roommates" and its hilarious to me and idk why
I just realised it's 02:39am. I've been binging your series and I'm just astonished at how well you explain things, it actually makes sense (also appreciate that it's backed up by science and that you keep bringing that up). Stay safe!
Canada also follows the DSM-V and I’m pretty sure the US also used it as well!
I've been trying to help a girl with DiD out of an extremely difficult situation. Your channel has really helped me understand her. Thank you so much!
What if as a system, I can remember the things they do and they can remember the things I do? What if there was no memory loss, just different alters have different memories but all are accessible for everyone in the system? Is there such a thing? Can you help me? I'm hoping that you can answer this one. Thanks for your time ❤️
thats totally normal!
-Lex and Skye (host and protector)
@@sparklestorm1236 thank you ❤️
@@ashtenchambliss284 thank you ❤️
@@bn9246 your welcome! our system is happy to help! love from the Solar system!
-Lex and Skye (Host and Protector)
Osdd 1b
My sister told me about your channel about a week and a half ago and I've been watching your videos ever since and I love them! I love all of you! Mental health challenges are extremely common in my family and extended family (both sides of both sides of the family) - and it's about the same for my husband. Anxiety, deperession, ADHD, panic attacks, bi polar, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder are the most common ones. My husband has a lot of anxiety and depression and panic attacks. And as of this spring I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. I still need to see a doctor to get diagnosed, but everything about me makes so much more sense when viewed through the lense of ADHD!
As you can probably imagine, I'm very passionate about mental health awareness - helping people to understand it and not treat it as some kind of taboo thing. I'd love to create a culture where people are not afraid to ask questions or seek help because mental health is no longer something to be afraid of and no longer has a stigma. What you are doing with this channel goes a long way to making this a reality. You really are making a huge difference in the world and I can't thank you enough!
Okay your system name is actually really clever!
Chloe, thank you very much for taking the time to explain so thoroughly each terminology, I'm getting to learn so much about DID thanks to you. I hope that people can be more open-minded in regard to mental illness so that one day no one will be afraid of opening-up about something they are struggling with. I love your channel, you're doing an amazing and I hope you are practicing self-care (I'm sure Sally is very much on top of it though).
I love this video, very informative and educational. :) Great job as always Chloe. :)
Thanks lovely!
DissociaDID You’re welcome! :)
Ryan DeFazio p
thank you so much for sharing your experience with DID - so clearly and eloquently might i add. i’m planning on going to school to get my Masters in Social Work with the intent of helping those with mental disorders, and i’m particularly keen specializing in trauma.
i, myself, have actually been diagnosed with C-PTSD which manifests in me as anxiety, some depression, and fairly severe dissociation (i’ve lived in a deep state of DP/DR 24/7 for the last 7 years, it always feels like i’m in a dream amongst other things). i don’t have DID, but my therapist likens a lot of things to “switching”. i’m still trying to figure everything out, but i want my experiences to help others.
that said, i will be binge watching the hell out of your videos :)
(Rebecca and I found using I and me was easiest for us so we didn't get confused) I always found the terms "inner world" and "driving\sharing" a car confusing when I was researching D.I.D and I couldn't figure out why.
Then we (all of us) realized it was because we had the "inner cell" where we kept the trauma, the "house" and "mind space\place" where all of us could control and front from via a panel\keyboard, plus the car where one or more us could drive around and if someone was using the keyboard\panel take\switchover and the people at the panel couldn't argue. And they (The people driving) could front but,they had to be co-con with the people at the keyboard unless they wanted to leave but, they would have to leave everything on in case someone who wasn't awake or was somewhere else could see what was going on. Or the people driving could take the over the panel (If no ones there. If there are people there they have to ask them if they want a turn.). However if the people in the car want a turn but, want there turn to be private they have to ask the people at the panel first and both sets or people have to leave a note (Its required because we're not sure exactly how many of us there are because the number fluctuates depending on if people want to disappear\hide or come out/greet\meet us.) and they should answer questions (Theres a mic, a translator, and different types of writing utensils) if anyone wants to ask them something (ie. Can I borrow the car to go to the store?, Can I have a turn?) but, if they can't its understood.
However that all is different if someone absolutely has or needs to take over because of an extreme\urgent need. Urgent can very. Extreme is something one of us feels of the utmost importance: a need that the others are ignoring or haven't/can't recognize or what they feel, is ethire 1. Abuse 2. Truma 3. Repressing 4. One of us needs important but, private attention.
P.S. Sorry for the super long post we don't have anyone right not that understands and we can talk to besides each other. ---- Rebecca and Rose. (With the a little help from the boys (Jay, Jace, Ghost (John), Jasson, Jayson, and Jayson-Grey-Lee.).Jk not really but, they want to feel included so, sure 😂) Byeeeeeeeee
I think I may do a slideshow with writing on this, the multiple worlds, places, powers, universes, galaxies, and then of course all of us and possibly the ones in hiding. --- Rose
Thank you for being so open and willing to educate us on this illness. I had heard of DID in my psychology classes however it was never explored in depth. It breaks my heart to know how DID is formed, however I admire the body and the brain's ability to survive and persevere. (I'm not sure if that's rude to say or not) Again thank you for sharing something so personal and I wish you well in the continuation of your journey.
Oh.. In the Country which I am from (Germany..) they do not use the DSM-V, but (mostly) the ICD-10.. (WHO)
And now I have some Questions.. (from a single Personality like me..)
1. Can You prevent an Alter from "taking over" the Front?
2. Are there Situations in which only the Alter(s) that are out or co-con are affected by a Trigger?
3. Are there Situations in which the whole System would be affected in a negative Way? How to deal with that or how to prevent it, is it even possible?
4. Is there a Way to manage a State as an Alter, in which You would be alone, (or at least feel alone..) ever? And how do the other Alters feel like, for the Person that fronts? And how does the Person that is out feels like for the Rest of the System? Can You adjust Privacy how You want it?
5. What has to happen, to be co-con? Does it simply happen, or is there a specific Way to do it?
[ And how is it, when a new Alter is born? How does it feel like? What does an new Alter have to learn, what (usually) not? ]
Sorry if the Questions are too strange or even funny or simply "too hard" to answer.. :(
Hi! The dsm and icd are different. The ICD is the international classification of diseases and is used to diagnose physical illnesses and some mental illness. Germany probably does use the DSM as they have to in order for diagnosis to be valid and accurate:) The DSM is only available for specialists to use whereas the ICD can be acessed by the general public which is why you probably don't know about the DSM
I’ll answer a little as someone with DID but my perspective does not necessarily represent others with DID-
1) sometime one of us can keep another from fronting and sometimes we can’t. I’ve had both experiences.
2) different alters have different triggers, so yes.
3) yes, we have had situations in which the whole system was negatively affected and it sucks. It couldn’t have been prevented at the time (it was a big and unexpected trigger). If we knew how that could have been prevented we would have prevented it. After the trigger we just have to work together as much as possible to cope.
4) this is a hard question to answer and has a lot of variability between systems.
For us, there is little to no adjustment in privacy between alters as we have greatly increased in co-consciousness. I can’t hide my thoughts of resentment from them, for instance even when I just think those things out of frustration. The only help is learning to be forgiving. Sometimes I am surprised at what they are and are not aware of. One of us used alcohol as a way of walling off the others but we don’t condone that. When another is out front, for me it feels like I am watching myself but unable to act or speak. Other times I’m not aware in the moment at all but have only a vague memory of it, like a dream.
I’ve recently gotten together with someone who has DID and I just wanna say thank you. Your videos have been helping me understand DID and what to do in certain situations. Thank you guys
Just found your channel after falling down a ASPD and DID rabbit hole after watching Shane Dawson’s new video and I’m so glad I did! You are absolutely lovely and I look forward to your future content! 💕
Just because someone else is in a full body cast, doesn’t mean your sprained ankle doesn’t hurt. Pain is pain and trauma is trauma, love your channel, quite new to this part of psychology, therefore binging your videos, I have to say, I love them! Very intriguing!
I'm thankful for each and every video! Thank you!
Wow I've experienced a large amount of trauma in my life but it started around age 11 or 12ish from bullying and social issues and now within the last 10 years the loss of a fiance to cancer and my own chronic medical conditions. So happy that i found this channel I'm always interested in learning about new conditions that I didn't know about before.
are there any more of these videos coming back or is this all you are allowed because I found your channel late when all of the videos were taken down and I wanted to learn more and I found that your videos were planned to come back so I was excited to see them so are there more coming because I'll be waiting patiently for them 😊
Hi Chloe! I never comment on RUclips videos but I am just so in love with your chanel that I had to. I am in school for social work currently and have always been fascinating with DID but have never really understood it as it is something we don’t really learn about in school. It is a disorder (along with the other trauma disorders) that I’ve considered specializing in. Keep making these amazing videos! You are doing wonderful things to help break down the stigma surrounding all mental illness.
Also, we do use the DSM-V here in the US.
Is the Host the "original" personality? I mean the one that existed before the trauma. Can the "original" personality be so traumatised that a Alter is created that takes on the role as Host because the "original" is too hurt from the world?
Love your videos, it's so education and I feel so welcomed to ask questions in order to educate myself. You and your system, you are amazing
Hi lovely, theres no original as DID is the failure to integrate personality, so multiple develop from the start! Hosts can change yes that's very common and alters can be created throughout life ❤
DissociaDID but arent you Chloe the original because before the trauma you experienced, and before the alters were created, it was just you alone born as Chloe and living your life as only Chloe with one personality. only after the childhood trauma, (when the wall was put up and the brain compartamentalized), and after the alters were created, with the brains failure to integrate personality, then the "original Chloe" became an alter as well?
no, we started off with multiple personalities like everyone does, id reccommend watching The Entropy Systems video on Structural Dissociation
DissociaDID . i just did before you wrote this and you answered my question there. i was actually gonna delete this after watching since you answered the question in that video but you got here first!. i now get that we all start out with multiple personalities before age 8. thanks. i am learning so much about this.
I don't have DID, but I do enjoy listening to your stories. You're super comfortable about yourself and aren't like most RUclipsrs who'd make videos like these just for a sob story or views. You want to educate people and thats that. Keep up the amazing channel!
Do Ruby and Jade get along with each other? They seem to have similar interests and personality traits
I dont have DID but I got PTSD and I love your channel. It has helped me to understand my PTSD in a different way and I appreciate y'all for that. You guys are awesome and I love you all!!
I have a question for Chloe... Do you know anything about what has happened to you as a child that has caused some of the Alters? Or is all of that information kept with your other Alters and not shared with you?
P.S I love your videos! ❤
Ive learnt some. Not much. The only trauma memories I have are from later on in life, childhood memories I have are such minor stuff i didnt even know it was bad. I think its minor anyway, other people not so much :) ❤ lots of love!
No im not aware of them, i only know bits. Like 2 memories. most of it is a blank
DissociaDID That is wonderful to hear! Though, I am sad for the alters that do carry those memories. May I ask which of your alters have those memories? I love that you encourage questions and interact with us! 💜
Thank you! Ruby, Gregory, some of our littles, Omega, Glass, Kyle, 'Demon', Muté, Mike and Nina all carry trauma. There are more of us inside but I dont know them all yet :) not sure if Jade does or not ❤
I think it's wonderful that you started this channel and that you are able to learn more about each of them by seeing all of their videos! Being able to document how they act, carry themselves, dress, speak, and think differently. Also being able to see them do your makeup was so fascinating! I watched Jades video and she seems so intelligent and full of wisdom. I would love to experience an alter for a day to experience this family dynamic, (if you will). It is intriguing, even though I am sadly aware that it is a burden to you at times, in the way that it affects your life. Have you thought about setting up cameras in your home, so when you have dissassociated and lose time, you can go back and see what you/they were doing? I'm sorry for all the questions, it is just so extremely fascinating to me! I just love your personality, outlook, and how you are so open with it.