Dr. Phil: I Feel Trapped by My Controlling Husband - August 26, 2014
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 31 авг 2014
- I Feel Trapped by My Controlling HusbandAugust 26, 2014Shara claims that her newlywed husband, Luke, is a “mean, insecure know-it-all” who won’t let her own a cell phone, hold a job or leave the house alone - and also dictates how she should dress and wear her makeup. Luke denies all of Shara’s allegations and claims that she is “no angel” and has a vicious temper. Can this marriage be saved?Controlling Husband?My husband, Luke, is very controlling, Shara says. He manages every move I make. My marriage is definitely a prison. Shara claims that Luke won't let her own cell phone or leave the house alone for more than five minutes. When I was employed, he would come with me to work every day, sit in the lobby and wait for me to get done, she continues. I ended up losing my job. Shara claims Luke even tells her when she is allowed to shower.Shara also claims that Luke is verbally abusive. Luke thinks that he's 'the man.' He's smarter than everyone in the room, she says. He has called me dumb, stupid, lazy, ugly, worthless. Luke has taken my pride, my dignity, my self-worth . I can’t go on in the marriage and fight every day with him.Luke denies all of the allegations. He insists he's only trying to help guide Shara, who he says lacks motivation and street smarts. On a daily basis, I have to remind her, 'It’s cold outside, put some socks and shoes on' - things I shouldn't be telling a 33-year-old woman. He continues, Every time I bring up an issue that needs to be addressed, she takes it as an attack. She feels like I'm being condescending. Luke says they talk about divorce often, adding, I can't get through to her. I can be delicate; I can be abrasive. I've simply run out of ideas.Dr. Phil asks Luke if he used to sit in the lobby at Shara's workplace, and he admits that he did. I had a diabetic coma episode, he explains. I ended up in the hospital. She wanted me to come up to her work so she could keep an eye on me, and she asked her boss if it was OK if I sat in the lobby.That was the one time, Shara replies.It's the insecurities, too. We're leaving out a big part, Luke continues. She thought I was running around seeing other women, so it makes her feel better when I'm in the line of sight.I’m sorry, I’m not going to listen to that lie, Shara says. I allowed that to happen the one time, because of the diabetic coma. The other times, I felt that you came to work with me to monitor everything that I did.Dr Phil 26.8.2014Dr Phil 8.26.2014Dr Phil 2014.8.26Dr Phil 2014.26.8Dr Phil 26/8/2014Dr Phil 8/26/2014Dr Phil 2014/8/26Dr Phil 2014/26/8Dr Phil 26-8-2014Dr Phil 8-26-2014Dr Phil 2014-8-26Dr Phil 2014-26-8Tags: dr phil show,dr phil hd,dr phil show hd,hd shows,hd show,dr phil 720p,dr phil show 720p
![Dr. Phil: A Lying, Cheating, Violent Husband or a Wife's False Accusations [August 7, 2014]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AC9wiHWILfI/mqdefault.jpg)
![Dr. Phil: I Did Not Set the House on Fire to Kill My Kids [September 1, 2014]](/img/1.gif)
They don't need to see Dr. Phil, they need to see a divorce lawyer
💯💯💯💯💯... besides the so “ Dr Phil “ ...he is a judgmental moron
Or a hit man
Amen ssiter!!!
Seriously! WHY are they even together?!
@@cactuscallie5090 I wonder the same thing.
This man is completely unbearable I can’t even listen to him talk
I’m with you Michelle . I cannot stand to watch this fool .
She married him
He's an asshole. He probably was sweet as could be till she married him.
He's a pretentious fool!
And she married him, like attracts like
Why would she marry that guy? He’s very strange! Something isn’t right with him!
My thoughts exactly. Surely there was some sense that he was like this over the year you we're seeing him before marriage.
Only the hair would be a red flag.
He is possibly on the spectrum. Imo
He didn't take your dignity and pride, you gave it to him. Take it back.
A lot of the time these true narcissistic people are sooo manipulative that you don't realize they are beating you into the ground until your already waist deep
Dr. Phil needs to start admitting that not every relationship is salvageable. He needs to start telling these abused spouses to run the other direction.
He can't/shouldn't. The abused are being told what to do on a regular basis. They don't need more of that. However he can shine a light on their options and offer help should they decide to leave. Leaving is the most dangerous time for abused people.
Unfortunately in our field, we can’t do that. The closest we can get is teaching the abused to value themselves and find their own way
Seriously he’s the only person I know that’s dumb enough to tell a abused woman to stay with the abuser & saying the marriage/relationship is salvageable. What a joke, & he’s supposed to be the smartest when it comes to shit like this.
I no why does he not just say divorce because controlling men do not change..he is lying.he rattles on not giving a straight answer and apparently she does not have a mobile because there too expensive.fine for him to have one..how dare he control her every move.
@@Taylor.k34 They NEED TO DIVORCE.!!!! NOW.!!!!
Imagine giving your wife sleeping tablets then complaining that she’s sleeping 😂😂😂
😂
I'm sorry, but it's not funny. It's despicable.
imagine letting your husband give you sleeping pills he is a fruit loop from linda in scotland
Typical narcissist logic. Seriously. So disturbing and sick.
Gaslighting her
RUN, girl, RUN.
It will NEVER get better. Narcissists never change.
She loves it.
@@kathconservShe's just used to it. Resigned that this is her fate. Believes that this is her doing.
He is at the end of his rope - now hanging himself on national tv - what a jerk..
@@lauringrace1389she left him once, why stay for more?? Just go lady fgs, he won’t ever change..
I would rather spend the rest of my life alone then be with someone Like this
yeah shes gross, i dont blame you
Same here i use to be with someone like this i cant thank god enough its over! And bc of this i will remain alone forever. Im more than happy and so grateful to God & his angels .
Same here. I have been divorced for over 20 years and been alone. I even had to hide for an entire year. So, my husband would not find me before I filed for divorce. I knew the minute I filed, He would know where I lived, and I was scared. 😢
Absolutely! ❤
So she can't dress "appropriately" for the weather BUT she can handle your diabetic coma?
😂😂😂
Great point.
makes perfect sense lol not
😂
A great point!
When someone can’t answer a simple question, they’re full of it and this guy is a full on narcissist.
That's funny cause when wives are controlling or even abusing their husbands dr Phil just calls them 'erratic' or 'depressed'
@@flowerpower8591 No, I've seen him say they have very serious mental health disorders and need to get well again to function normally
that is his way to get what he wants and put the poor girl down yet again its the controling thing
I find myself screaming at my cell fkn leave his ass
He sure is a narcissist
I get the feeling that this guy does not want her "talking to everyone about their business," because then people would tell her she needs to get out of there.
She needs to tell EVERYONE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER!!! WOMEN! SPEAK UP!!!!!
Word salad, controlling, high and mighty, he thinks way too much of himself. He absolutely disgust me.
He’s extremely abusive and if he wants her to lose weight, then if she leaves him then theres the weight loss.
Yep, she'll lose 90kg straight away
This guy makes my teeth itch
That douche is enough to make you question your sanity and make you practically lose your own damn mind. He's a f*ckwit.
The sound of his voice alone!
Right! The cruel hateful things he says to her causes the exact opposite to happen. Verbally kicking someone over and over causes so much depression and emotionally drained which has a direct effect on a persons metabolism.
*Who* would pay her bills THEN??
This woman sold herself so don't act like she's innocent.
Yep, he fears that she will leave him and is pounding her into the ground.
She thinks she loves him... It's not love. She's trauma bonded to him through intermittent reinforcement. Hoping to have a return to the little bit of kindness he has, at one time or another, shown her.
He's a full blown malignant narcissist. Throw the whole damn man out. He's no good.
This comment was everything to me. I know you only meant to comment on the show, but for the last 5 years, I’ve been trying to figure out through the help of therapists why I still feel sorry for my exhusband when all he was to me was abusive, financially mentally and physically and is still financially abusive in withholding child support.
Who knew I’d find my answer through a RUclips comment. Thank you, you godsend!
He's a narcissist
I've never heard of the term "trauma bonded" before but how you explain it makes perfect sense to me. I've been there. People need to understand why someone doesn't leave even a very violent relationship not realising they're being controlled intentionally. It's not love and never was.
Yes!!!!! Absolutely agreed! Love it when someone else sees the narcissism from a mile away! The unfortunate fact is that, for the majority of cases, it’s difficult to spot and can be even more difficult to try to explain unless you’ve suffered directly the manipulative torture of a narcissist. However, when I come across others who can validate such truth after the endless confusion and gaslighting of the narcissistic relationship helps me on my own healing journey, and I sincerely hope I can do the same in return.
Yep. Throw out that man baby with the bath water.
I was married to someone this controlling and abusive. He gives her sleeping pills then gets angry that she oversleeps. It's hard to watch someone else go through it. It's amazing how he dances around most of the questions. He is a total manipulative Douch bag. I hope she left him.
I myself went through the same. Divorced 23 years and happy.
Wow. You both are VERY strong, I’m proud of both of you for making it through that and wish you nothing but genuine love and happiness! ❤
@@Only-me-observing Only to go to HELL for eternity after death!
@@SantanaCampbell😮Who's going to hell.
@@SantanaCampbell
Religious whacko
I was with a guy just like this for 3 months. Total narcissist. Those 3 months felt like 10 years. I thank God I never married him or had kids with him. People like this don’t change. They get worse because they literally feel like they are perfect and have no flaws or shortcomings. It’s like talking to a brick wall.
I'm glad you got out Jessica! Too many women seem to accept this kind of behavior because they're afraid of being alone. Life is way too short to put up with a man like that.
You love that word
Girl I totally can agree ! I was with someone like that for 5 freaking years, and to think I wanted to MARRY him. I thank God everyday for taking me away from that disaster in the making!
The narcissist always has to be the victim as well and gaslights when caught 😅
I was too.
He called me fat, made fun of my mental illnesses, all while thinking he was perfect. I’m so glad I left
You can tell he is very controlling, his tone is condescending and patronising... she needs to run like the wind...!
His tone reminds me exactly of Ben Shapiro 😅😅
@@hill380 Shapiro sounds condescending because he's very bright. This guy is not.
@@unidentifiable1875 definitely not as bright as he makes himself out to be 🤷🏽♀️. And there's a touch of humility in those who truly have the knowledge to back what they say. Ben shapiro- and this man here- are the only ones in the history of ever to be 100% objectively logical and not at all biased. Simply untrue, but you can tell in the way that they conduct themselves that they're overcompensating for their lack of truth, or their lack of knowledge.
Reminds me of when Tom Cruise got all passive aggressive with that interviewer that time.
Exactly! It starts with verbal abuse & if he doesn't take accountability for his words & actions it will escalate into physical abuse.
She's being drugged humiliated berated just about every type of abuse. Dr Phil saying this is EASILY FIXABLE?! Divorce is the only answer. This man is a narcissistic abuser. She needs therapy asap.
A smart woman would have left him by now.
She likes this bullshit!!..... please!!!
@@Patriot-fu6ul that's not how abuse works...
@@Patriot-fu6ul Smart women, men, people, can all be sucked into abusive relationships. Dont spit hate at people because your are hurting and projecting.
This. How does he see such a level of abuse and say there's nothing that is irreparable? He's clearly abusing her and controlling her, 100%.
Dr Phil telling them they can fix it with his book is absolutely the worst advice I've ever seen.
Throw the man out and run away, but be careful when you do, because this guy is dangerous and will not be okay with you leaving.
in the UK this is now recognised as a Domestic Violence crime. No actual violence has to take place. Its called Cohersive Control and is abuse. In the UK he would, if found guilty, most like go to prison for this treatment of her.
He's a narcissist, typical behaviour for them, he's projecting all his own problems and insecurities onto her, compulsive lying, twisting the truth, I've dealt with these sorts before they are not capable of change because they will never see an issue with their own behaviour
I was thinking he might be somewhere on the spectrum
yes Narc
I've had Type 1 Diabetes and epilepsy with 'grand mal' seizures for almost 40 years, and I have NEVER asked someone to keep an eye on me "just in case". The most I've done is let people know what symptoms to expect and how to treat them.
Join the club I have epilepsy 30 years have had right frontal lobe surgery had a large portion of my brain removed I have type 2 diabetes health is wealth thanks to my loving parents in heaven watching over me and our dear lord, lady and the angels in heaven, hope your health is good best wishes from Galway Ireland ❤️❤️
This guy wants to “keep things secret” so he can go on abusing her.
Exactly.
Yep. Isolation is their favorite tool.
That's exactly right. That's also why he monitors her and wont let her get a phone
Dr Phil should have called him on that a bit stronger.
Yes! I was looking for this comment!
He’s so creepy I can’t imagine her wanting to be intimate with him
You just know that he keeps the mummified corpse of his mother in an old house in the woods somewhere.
Ikr imagine her going to bed wrapped in her robe just to keep away from him 😹
omg poor thing 😭😣
She probably doesn’t consent to being intimate with him. And before anyone says it, yes, marital rape is real.
Amen !!!
@@courtneyehalchak it's sad that you even had to mention the last part because it's so true and i don't understand how anyone would think otherwise, unless you're a pig like this guy in the video.
Dr. Phil asks husband: "are you telling the truth?"
Husband: gives long winded and wordy answer that doesn't answer the question.
BOOM, guess who's lying.... husband
Gosh, this guy makes my husband look like a jewel! Everytime he buys a new phone he buys me a new one too. Everytime he gets something good he wants me to have it too. He never asks who I am talking to.
I pray she never has children with him.
Ameen!
I pray she leaves his lying ass
Forget children. I hope she leaves. What makes her think she has to stay?
she has a child exposed to this
His voice and tone is so condescending. He’s even speaking to Dr. Phil the same way. He’s a narcissist: it’s disgraceful.
Yes a dumb as one at that😂😂😂
He’s delusional
🤮🤮🤮🤮
Grade A, yeah. Absolutely self centred. Lady, you want peace of mind, take him to the cleaners. Divorce this narcissist.
The more I listen, the more pissed I get.
I love how his excuse is that "two smartphones are too expensive." I call BS on that. I've known multiple homeless people who have smartphones; you can get family plans and subsidies and there is simply no reason that they can't have 2 phones!
It's made especially ridiculous by the fact that he apparently told her "I'm richer than you'll ever be!" If he's so damn rich, then why can't he afford a second freaking phone?? (I'm no billionaire, but even I could manage to get my teenager a phone FFS!)
That’s the only thing he said that I halfway believed. Simply because I don’t remember what smartphones were running back in 2014. These days it’s stupid but 8 years ago, I can’t remember if it was ridiculous or not.
@@katydid8229 But a normal phone is NOT expensive. And there are also the many old phones people still have at home when they get newer models. Of course she can have a phone.
My mobile costs me $45 a month, it’s not that expensive, l am on disability too. He is a control freak. Get out lady before it’s too late.
I love being single, I can’t be bothered with all this crap.
Yep!!!!
God give th
Agreed!
Absolutely..its like getting rid of a lifelong illness. Liberating!
I'm thankful to be single to I've been through very verbal and mental abuse of relationships and it is a blessing to not be in those type of relationships anymore thank God
He doesn't leave her because no other woman would ever put up with this!!!~~~
But *she* doesn't leave him because...
@@TradBarbie trauma bond. gotta be
He knows that he is unworthy of her.
Please, please do research get educated on how abuse works and what it does to a person
Please do not devalue someone who is being abused like well they should leave. Clearly it's not so simple. It's been going on since the beginning of time
I'm about to write Dr. Phil about how many people are clueless and would he please do episodes on the cycle of abuse
I’ve been married to someone just like him. Best thing I did was leave with nothing but the clothes on my back.
Me tooo...just run woman...
It's my opinion this man needs no help destroying relationships. He seems quite capable of doing that on his own. What a piece of work.
The only weight she needs the loose is him and his damn bags 😂
well said!!
With an immediate effect, this thing is going to kill her one day
*Lose
This guy is possibly the worst I've seen.
Agree. You just want to remove all the pegs he’s balancing on. What an asshole.
MY X husband was much worse
@@tracylustig7385 oh I’m so sorry you went through that. You don’t deserve it. I hope you are ok now.
Not yet, you haven't seen my husband..he deserted me when I legally complained against him for his abusive behaviour during my pregnancy.. since then he didn't turn up .my son is 2.5 years old ..he and his family never came to meet me and my premature son.
No. He's not the worst. Trust me. An actual domestic abuse survivor would not be able to sit on national tv and confront her abuser. A real victim would be terrified of the consequences and would remain out of the spotlight to make it easier to slip away and escape. I believe he's a narcissist. I believe he's controlling. But there's truth in what he's saying too. When she started "crying" there were no tears. That's typical of an exaggerater.
This guy really reminds me of a very slightly milder version of my own ex. When he finally decided to walk out on our relationship it was the best thing that ever happened to me!
So…does HE not work? How can he spend all day at her office?
I can't believe that this guy thinks he's intelligent!
Who?? dr pill
I think they meant the man
hahaha
He uses a whole lot of words for someone who says absolutely nothing! He’s the most exasperating person I’ve ever seen! He has no business marrying anyone. No one could tolerate him.
I feel so sad to see a woman think that this is what she has to put up with for a man when she deserves so much better. Self esteem is such an important aspect of life. I made poor choices when I was younger because I was insecure and had low self esteem but they were a million times better than this asshole!
He is doing a narcissist thing called word salad.
They both shouldn't be married to anyone.
@@margotslaughter531 bingo! Word Salad. He even uses the threats of leaving her to ping her trauma bond.
He'd be a great politician.
Omg. I grew up thinking a controlling abusive man was love , I come from generations of abused women , I watched this video as a child and thought he loves her even if they have problems, I married a man like him !!! For 6 years endured his and his families abuse until I realised it’s wrong … my ex was a master at hiding who he was so everyone thinks I’m crazy ….. but I’m super happy now a year almost now I’m loving my life 🎉
Dr. Phil should have told her to run. This dude is tearing her down to feel better about himself. He's not going to change.
@Still Sidda yes exactly
This guy is sick!!!!
OMG, this man is unbearable. The first time he tried to tell me what to wear, let alone that I was worthless, there would be a me-shaped hole in the door.
Do you eat *dinner* in bed??
@HinduHillbilly LOL! EXACTLY 💯
Lol.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙌
Right there's only so much abuse any woman/man should ever take. And yes men go through this more then we will EVER hear about cuz honestly what guy would admit sever abuse. This episode brings back such horrible memories for me
I'm a very brittle type 1 diabetic and have had multiple hospitalizations but have never told anyone that they need to keep an eye on me "just in case." He is just using this as an excuse for his controlling behavior.
This is the type of man who SNAPS over night and ends up killing his wife. RUN! RUN! RUNNN!!!!!!!! 💃🏼
I'm really grateful to Reginald Monteacute for uploading all these episodes! A full episode is very hard to find. Thank you, Mr Reginald!
Thank you Reginald!
Cheers Reg!
Also great quality so ya this channel is a slam dunk so yes ty so so much
YES!
💜 YES! THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREAT QUALITY UPLOADING REGINALD MONTEACUTE. IT'S TRULY APPRECIATED 😊💜
There is CLEARLY something very wrong with that dude
I understand her pain because I was with a demonic toxic narcissist for less than a year and a half. Took advantage, maxed out my credit cards, destroyed my business and left me stranded when I was disabled
Honestly, if the worse thing your ex did was steal your money, you're lucky. I wouldn't call that domestic abuse technically, more like naivety.
When there's men out there breaking women down until there's nothing left but a broken shell. When these women have to take shelter at a refuge and not tell anyone they know where they are, even their most trusted family.
Sorry it's just different.
If he thinks he can "motivate" her out of her clinical depression, then maybe he should look in the mirror and try to "motivate" himself out of his diabetes!
Which he causes!
""I'm street smart" .... is what stupid people say... LMAO
XDDD
Some people have book smarts, some have street smarts, some have both. If someone has more street smarts than book smarts, that does not make them stupid. Street smarts are good to have just like book smarts. Now this boy (he is not a man), is just a controlling piece of shit.
@Mike Bacon: You are 100% right! 🎯
I'll be dammed before my husband EVER disrespects me like that.
If my husband did that to me only 3 times or less, I'd be gone!
One time,all the time!!
What a truly awful man. The lack of insight for an “intelligent, worldly “ man is staggering
Dr. Phil needs to stop trying to save every relationship.. some people don’t work together. The end. This guy shouldn’t be with anyone
This husband is a creep, why does she stay?
Maybe she has no other options right now. Not everyone has family and I'm guessing her self worth is zero.
When someone is abused they dont think they are capable. It's also so much more
I was in a similar situation, just got out a few days ago. You start to believe what he is saying to you and it makes you completely numb and thinking that it’s all true. It goes gradually, very strange. Because in normal life you are functioning normally, but in your home you are completely numb and beaten down. Sick! Every person should leave when the first sign of abuse is happening! Don’t think it’s an incident or it will change, it will only get worse!! Everybody deserves to live with dignity and respect! ✌️ 💗
@@mariaa0031 well done to you! Stay strong girl
@@mariaa0031 Happy you found the strength within yourself to leave! Don’t look back! But please be careful.. Stay aware & cease all contact, and if you can, let a family member or friend know your schedule and when to check up on you. Keep a detailed journal of what’s transpired. Whether your abuse was emotional, mental, or physical; Statistics show the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when they leave the relationship.
How does Dr. Phil not realize this man is a narcissist and will not change?!
He is laughing.
its child abuse to expose a child to this. no joke.
This guy is very triggering for anybody who’s been abused. He’s so insecure, u can see right thru it.
Brings back dark memories. Leave this man before you grow numb and can't feel anything anymore.
And that’s exactly where I am at right now. I’m married to a narcissist and pretty sure he’s bipolar. I hate him!
@@ginakirkland386get divorced, you deserve a better life. God loves you ❤
I left a man I loved because he told me what to wear and who I could talk too. I said nope I'm done. He has been married 4 times
He knows how to win but not how to keep.
Well done u
Good for you! 🙌 It is obvious he does not have the tools to keep a marriage healthy. I am glad you saw the signs and moved on before he destroyed every part of you.
As you should!
@@akhoneybee9076 yes! Period!
It’s 2024. I’m sooo glad I’m single. Young gals, you ARE NOT obligated to put up with being treated like a child or subservient by anyone .
Don’t let anyone bully you. It’s amazing how women put up with crap from their man, that they would not tolerate AT ALL from friends. Get out. Too Often we fall in love with what we want them to be, instead of what they are. RUN. 🏃🏽
I agree. This was 2014. I think many women would take a seat today when somebody would ask that question (Ladies, remain standing if you think getting married, etc. is a good and natural way to go through life.).
As in 2024, we've taken steps towards being ourselves. We know now that we are perfectly fine, perhaps even better off, being single.
Marriage is healthier for men than it is for women.
Proven fact:
Married men live longer and healthier than single men.
Single women live longer and healthier than married women.
You run girl!! Run as far as possible.
Take a shot everytime he said "I encourage her-"
I’m already drunk lol 😂 I don’t ever want to hear that word again
That would cause someone to croak
I TURNED YOUR 69 LIKES INTO 70
thank you for the 69 likes
He can leave her anytime, but he is still there trying to motivate the lazy ass dumbass
When she said that about the sleep medication, a shiver went through my spine. He’s going to murder her.
He IS a CHRIS WATTS!
@Debra exactly
@@sabrinacash3361 o
My ex was drugging me when things were going bad. I personally don't think he was trying to kill me, but delay the inevitable, me leaving. What is really terrifying is.. I was seeing doctors for narcolepsy and all sorts of things. I only found out when I left him and switched doctors and they did a new blood panel.
Or he can only get excited when she's totally passed out, that's extremely common with abusers
I’d love to hear an update. He’s insufferable.
I come back to this one a lot, it blows my mind. I truly hope she was able to break her codependency and escape the trauma-bonding to find herself free. "I am defending myself, because she tells everyone and her brother what's going on", dude doesn't even realize he's saying how controlling he is, it's such a big red flag that your partner won't let you talk about your relationship.
How on earth did they get married? I wonder if he acted like prince charming and then trapped her. 🤔
The bastard clearly baits you, so he can punish your reaction. THIS IS NOT LOVE!!!!!! YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!
reactive abuse!!
Been there, done that.
6 years still trying to%100 get rid of him, but as we have children together, sadly were linked.
I am feeling stronger all the time tho. Feels weard to look back and wonder how I let him happen to me.
Reactive abuse which is actually defending ones self.... Dude is a sick Narcissist
Been there, allowed that. Get out girl, before he steals your spirit. The emotional abuse is worse than broken bones.
I totally agree with that. I was in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship for 7 years and when I started going down hill and knew I was close to hating myself I left and never looked back. I have been gone for over a year and I’ve never been happier. When someone tells you so many times you are crazy and you need help you start to believe it. It messes with your mind. My ex never hit me, but honestly I think him hitting me wouldn’t be as bad as emotional abuse. Emotional and mental abuse effects you so badly. It breaks you down to where you feel like your nothing without the other person and they make you believe no one else will want you because your so stupid and ugly and crazy. Any woman in this situation needs to get out. I know it’s scary to leave someone, but if you don’t leave you will have a miserable life. No one is worth causing you so much pain. Whoever you are with should build you and not tear you down.
I agree - I’ve been through physical and emotional abuse, but the emotional abuse is what really messes with you longer… these episodes are always hard for me to watch because I feel for the woman… thankfully I never procreated with or married any of the abusive men in my past, because I can only imagine how much harder it must be to leave
Dr. Phil says their marriage if fixable. But just because something can be fixed doesn't mean you have to fix it. Sometimes, fixing something isn't worth the effort.
The extreme insecurity and desperation in this man’s face is very sad, the abuse is still not ok.
“i met her in a big city and i was never aware that she grew up in the middle of nowhere. we didn’t really know each other so everyday it was finding out more disturbing things about each other” why is living on a farm disturbing???? every time he opens his mouth i can hear the narcissism
Its just his way to call her stupid and having no manners. He thinks countrypeople are stupid hillbillies and he is this sophisticated cityman.
Right all I heard was “I’m a real live moron for marrying someone I didn’t know”
What a self important loser. He vastly overestimates his intelligence. What a joke.
HE IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING
When he went into a diabetic coma, he better hope he can wake up enough to call for help. Because my so called country fat ass unmotivated wife would just sit and watch. She needs to get life insurance on his ass, and wait
The minute she walked out the door he would be lost without her.He focuses on her so he doesn’t have to face his deep rooted issues. This man is a psychiatrists dream patient...
I have some other dream patients...Holly Wood couldn't write the story...lol
"Here's a prescription for sessions for the next nine years." $_$
“The marriage is over .....” dr Phil says its fixable!
Why would anyone want to fix it? End it!
This dude is using all of these excuses when really he’s just an insecure little man who’s jealous
Funny thing is, if she went to the gym/working out, he’d start to get pissed about that because she would be getting more attention, he’d cut that off in a heart beat too
Literally
Exactly what I was thinking!!
and it would be her fault 🙄
Yes.
Facts
He has literally pushed her to depression, then now he's overwhelmed by what he has made of her.. everything he does has just made the situation worse.. they need to part ways, there's no saving this marriage..
He will cheat on her, he hates her.
They are both codependent. He won’t stop and neither will she. They have chosen to imprison themselves together. Scary
"it ends now"
"i'll let it slide"
his choice of words lets me know he is controlling and abusive
He’s so abusive but she plays into his bs. She needs to run.
This is abuse pure and simple, she needs to leave him
Not allowed to have a phone? Telling her when to shower? Calling her a bunch of hateful names? ...But Dr.Phil thinks it's a "fixable " marriage....WHAT??? GET OUT LADY WHILE YOU CAN
I agree, she needs to find a good support system and get as far away as possible from him.
He's horrible!!
Actually I think her life is in danger also. Get out asap.
He thought he could mold her into what he wanted in a his woman. Divorce is in order
Does anyone feel like this guy is from a 100 years ago, his attitudes, the way he dresses, the way he talks, his accent?
This screams narcissism.
It screams a life of misery. Love doesnt hurt..
@@aprilsilvers381 Narcissists are perpetually miserable people, so it's fitting
Yup classic textbook narcissist
Yep, with a capital "N"
She wants it...she is narcissistic herself...they deserve each other.
She needs a good divorce lawyer and some intensive therapy to rebuild her beautiful self esteem she's gorgeous and deserves the best!
For real. Poor girl.
They both seem to have massive issues here. Both seem to have equal blame in this case. I feel like there is a lot that she isn’t saying either, and a lot he needs to finally come clean about
@@thelifeofcollinrs6030 I completely agree with.
@@thelifeofcollinrs6030
Agree!
I believe she has a part in it too. Not to justify his behavior whatsoever, but I believe he views her as lazy and unmotivated and doesn’t know how to express his frustrations in a healthy manner
Wasn’t she the one charged with domestic violence? I missed the part where he was
My mother used to tell me to keep our family problems (abuse) at home, behind closed doors. She was obsessed with public opinion and didn't want to be exposed for her abusive, narcissistic behavior.
“But I would like to see some of that.”
FOOL SHE HAS NOTHING TO PROVE TO YOU.
If he says, "I encourage her to take better care of herself," one more time, I'm punching him.
Ugh I know, he’s acting like he’s some really good-looking guy ughh (I wonder what she looked like when they first started dating - like if she gained weight or not? Not that it should matter, there’s that whole “in sickness & in health” vow in a marriage)
I'm so proud of You. You need a crown.
He’s an abusive narcissist! He doesn’t see anything wrong with his behaviour and he never will. Next time she clinches her fists I hope she knocks his teeth out and then he’ll have something to call the police about! Coward! Sorry about the rant but he made my blood boil!! 🤷🏻♀️
Right!!
Translation: I encourage her to take better care of MY EGO/NEED FOR CONTROL."
"She needs guidance" every guy i met that said that was controlling
Yup. Run like hell
That makes me want to vomit.
Small children need guidance, not your significant other
Or "I wanna make you a better person, I wanna make you the best version of yourself" everyone is unmotivated and lazy to a narcissist
Why would an adult need guidance, how does he think she was living before him..... Ay
If he’s so picky then why did he marry her so fast? Especially with one failed marriage behind him, I would think he take a nice long time figuring her out before committing to her. Doesn’t mean she’s perfect, just means their first mistake was going right into marriage.
"I love my husband"
WHAT IN THE LIVING F*** IS THERE TO LOVE??
There should be NO coming back from this vile level of disrespect. The kind of things he does and says speaks to WHO this guy in on a cellular level.
There's no counseling a way out of that.
RUN!!!!!! 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
Again. Not love. This is not love.
That poor woman needs to walk away from that man, she will never regret it. If she stays, she may forever regret it.
He won’t say it directly but what I hear him admit is if she doesn’t get up early enough, then she’s not allowed to shower.
😩😂
That’s exactly what I heard as well
Yup. Sick Narcissistic sociopath type man.
Yep, I picked that up as well. And then he says "it's her choice". smdh
That poor women should have been separated from him immediately & he sent to idiot island 🏝 where he can never mentally harm another sole again…
This is absolutely my favorite episode. Dr Phil was at his best. Feel very sorry for this woman.
SHE IS A FOOL TO NOT STAND HER GROUND AND LEAVE HIM
You know they're lying when they can't just straight up answer a yes or no question.
@A H the woman probably afraid to not agree with him
I love that he thinks he’s street smart! Pure comedy!
EXACTLY
SHE SAYS SHE LOVES HIM ??? She has a twisted idea about love ! This is soooo sick !
The typical behavior of a narcissist telling your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend you need me to motive you and tell you what to do every second of the day.
"Keeping our marriage sacred" He means, dont tell anyone. When someone doesnt want you to talk to anyone, there is an issue.
Gotta keep the nastiness a secret. She would eventually realize that relationships aren’t supposed to be like that & people who knew what was going on would eventually convince her to leave.
And yet he calls his mother to discuss the situation with her.
My thoughts exactly.
An abusive, controlling man trying to isolate his wife is a “good egg” according to Phil? Wow, I’d be dead if I had a therapist like that 20 years ago.
Been amazed how many counselors can't spot narcissim/abuse.
This is like the 2nd or 3rd time I’ve seen him praise a controlling husband and tell them he’s a good man. I don’t even watch him like that. Smh.
Last show I watched similar he organised weight loss and dietician..losing weight wasn't the issue..losing the dead weight of her husband should have been the advice!!
I think he meant he had the potential to be a good egg, if he can get past his issues related to his past sexual assault
@@zaydqazi9134 , That's exactly what he meant. Some people only hear what they want to hear, unfortunately.
If he was like this before they got married a year ago, why did she marry him??
He is an utter joke and a textbook example of the narcissist.They know the words but not the music.
sweetie RUN !!! this dude is a classic case narcissest ! don't fix it just run ! you are beautiful and deserve much better than him
She can't find anyone else....the dumbass is a LOSER...!!!!!