The Psychology of Female Attraction to Confidence
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
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Why is confidence so attractive to women?
Also, why don't men really care about a woman's confidence in terms of attraction?
For example: If a woman is shy, insecure or nervous, almost all men aren't turned off by that.
In fact, most men feel turned on by her shyness because it makes them feel more manly and dominant around her.
He feels like 'the man' around her, so to speak.
Yet, most women don't want to feel manly and dominant around a man.
Why?
I explain the psychology of attraction to confidence in this video and give examples of how a woman's attraction is triggered by a man's confidence and why.
When you understand this as a man, it empowers you to talk to women you find attractive because you know that you can attract women by default, simply by being confident.
Of course, with many women, you also need to be able to display other traits (e.g. masculinity, charm, charisma, social intelligence or humor) to attract them enough to get to a phone number, kiss, date or sex.
Yet, confidence gets your foot in the door, so to speak.
The woman feels a natural, default attraction to your confidence and is then open to feeling more attracted to other traits of yours (e.g. charisma, social intelligence, humor, charm and so on).
If you want to learn exactly how to display the kind of confidence that is irresistible to women, as well as the 7 other traits that naturally attract women, be sure to read The Flow, or listen to the audiobook version.
The Flow:
store.themoder...
Enjoy the amazing times ahead with women!
Cheers
Dan Bacon
Founder, TheModernMan.com - Secrets to Success With Women
I've never stopped by to thank you for all the lost knowledge you gave us and lessons learned you shared from your own personal experience. This is coming from a dude who never had his dad around during the critical years of my life, and was considered the "quiet kid" in class. I personally believe no matter what generation you are in, the "Flow" definitely works because it directly tickles the female primal instincts. I'm now engaged about to be married, my pullout game was weak and we now have a kid together lol (it was during the lockdowns! shoot me haha), what is important is her and I see eye to eye in mostly everything, but anyways I can not say enough thanks Dan for all your work!
Awesome to hear of your success after reading The Flow! Congrats on your engagement and your new family. BTW: Don't worry about being too late to pull out. Having kids does add work into a relationship, but it's worth it as they begin to grow up because you have your own family, which gives you a sense of belonging. Having a great family life is priceless, so build it and cherish it. You will be glad you did. My wife and I have twin girls ( 4 years old) and they are a handful at times (e.g. crying, complaining, being typical toddlers), but we always bring the vibe back to love, laughter and happiness, which feels great for us and them. BTW: I love your wording of how The Flow works, "tickles the female primal instincts." I might have to mention that in a video one day. It's an accurate and interesting way of describing it. Cheers, Dan 👍
I’ve had many men, and women, say, how did you get her? Because I just went up to her and started talking. Just do it.. And be confident about yourself doing it!
Awesome man! 👍 That's how it's done. Congrats! You did something that is actually quite rare these days. 95% of guys are too afraid to approach women they find attractive. Sometimes a guy builds up the courage and gives it a shot by approaching, but it doesn't work because he comes across as too nervous, or isn't able to keep the conversation going long enough to get a result. BTW: It sounds like you already had a good level of natural confidence and ability to attract women during conversation when you approached her. For guys reading along: If you don't know how to feel confident around women you find attractive, or if you don't know what to say and do to attract them - read The Flow: store.themodernman.com/in/57ec587 It will change your life! The Flow gives you the confidence to approach, ways to instantly attract women and everything you need to know to go from hello to sex, or hello to a date with her. Enjoy! Cheers, Dan
Hey Dan in a long term relationship 10 years and I made her feel attracted but how can I keep that going ? We talk alot and about anything but it doesn't go anywhere ? But I have noticed my self being a little better around her where she said she wants to spend more time with me . When we already live together and see each other everyday
It's amazing they instinctively know how important mental toughness and emotional strength are for survival.
There was a guy in our area.
He was confident and proactive socially.
Whenever he used to speak, people used to listen to him and he was respected by others.
He also used to host many programs in our area as well as at his workplace which gave him visibility.
He used to have sex with multiple women.
And I used to wonder why am I not like him.
For sure. Being 'the guy' or 'one of the guys' who is respected and listened to in a social situation is a huge turn on for women. Doesn't work the other way for men though - most men don't care if people listen to or look up to a woman, in terms of their attraction to her. Men feel attracted to women for different reasons. Thanks for commenting with this example. Cheers, Dan 👍
Dan, you're the man my brother! One suggestion, to the shy Jedis out there, the first step to confidence is let go of the side rail and go balls deep with your charm. Smile, be ballsy and trust me that timid side will fade away and you will walk taller and feel amazing
Solid recommendation and very true. For the guys reading along in the comments who don't know how to turn on their charm to make women feel attracted, go to: store.themodernman.com/in/57ec587 Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ Ohh, what have we here then? Trying to get us to go to your site and buy stuff are we? well, jokes on you, I already did that lol 😂
Cheers, Some drunk guy on youtube 👍
@@Lacota1375 Haha, you had me there for a second. BTW: I'm actually doing a disservice to men if I don't occasionally encourage them to learn the exclusive knowledge found in my programs. When a guy actually gets one of my programs, he gains instant access to secrets and techniques that took me 1,000s of hours to discover and master. It's such a time-saver for guys who want success with women now, rather than potentially in years or decades to come. The knowledge in my programs allows a guy to go from being insecure, confused and rejected to confident, clear and accepted/loved/respected by women. That's a great thing for him and for women. Cheers, Dan 👍
I'm not the most handsome guy, the smartest or the most confident. But women usually make the first move by flirting with a look and a smile. My guess is that it's my attitude... I walk around like I don't give a damn about women or anything in general. I look women in the eye and it usually doesn't trigger anything because I have already met some of the prettiest and most exotic women ever lol. It's funny because pretty women open doors for me with a big smile etc. And I'm honestly a little above average at best. Heck, I'm short by most standards at 5'-6". I'm any case, at this time I'm focusing on getting my butt out of a financial hole. That's my number one priority... women are at the bottom of the list for now. I'm 42 and if I don't get my stacks now, I'm going to be in big trouble down the road.
I just bought The Flow 😎 Im glad i found this book at the age of 20
Awesome that you're starting so young. You will look back on The Flow as one of the best things you've ever bought in life. So many guys have said that it's the best investment they've ever made in themselves. Enjoy the amazing times ahead with women my friend! Cheers, Dan 👍
Hey Dan, do you have any tips on how to fully overcome anxiety? I have gained a lot of self-confidence by following your advice, approaching many women, and getting phone numbers. But my anxiety always comes back with more force after a while; even after I have been feeling much more confident. I have tried it all to get over this, but the subconscious resistance to just being confident is so extreme it makes me feel miserable. Great content though.
Congrats on becoming more confident and getting some numbers. You are half way there and way ahead of 95% of guys. About how to fully overcome anxiety: It's not something I can answer in a comment because there's a fair bit to teach, which is why we cover the topic (or related topics) in different ways in all of our programs. All of our programs build your confidence and delete your anxiety in different ways. If you haven't gotten any of my programs, start with The Flow, use the confidence techniques from that and you will feel 10x more confident and willing to approach and interact with women you find attractive: store.themodernman.com/in/57ec587 Cheers, Dan 👍
Confidence helps, but it is not everything, confidence can easily be faked and women know how to spot it. You need skills, you must know how to handle certain type of situations, not just with women, but in life in general, if you know how to do things confidence comes naturally, because confidence is a result, it is a feedback loop mechanism, the more you get your shit done the more you gain confidence, if you never put yourself in the jungle you will never become confident
That's right. I explain how to build confidence by knowing how to attract women in this video: ruclips.net/video/rkxGI0Vwzgo/видео.html Cheers, Dan
This is true. I started talking to this hot woman on a flight sitting next to me. We ended having a lot of things in common and we talked the whole flight. I got her number and we have been dating for the last 2 months and things are going great. Turns out she is a medical Dr and has her own practice. She is also 10 years younger than me. Confidence works.
Love you videos Dan, also love your book ‘The Flow!
Cheers Dracula! 👍 I'm glad you're enjoying the vids and love The Flow. BTW: I look forward to hearing a success story from you sometime soon. You can do it. Cheers, Dan
THIS man truly op🔥
Cheers man 😎
Solid content, as always. Thank you, Dan
Cheers Mohammed 👍
Lmao.... *"I'd kick everyone's azz in here!"*
Awesome content mate!
Dan, I had a friend 23 yrs who dated an attractive lady of 21 yrs he was really into for about 6 months. His grandmother who he was close to passed away. He said only then did he become needy and clingy, insecure, and very vulnerable. He said about 10 days after the girl broke up with him stating "I don't want to date a guy I feel sorry for, I just don't know how to help you feel better."
Is this just a case of female nature at work or are there some situations that rise above the norm and the woman should cut the guy a break even if he is in an insecure low-value state?
Also just after the break up like a week later, the girl came around his way with her new beau which sent my friend into a tailspin, what are your thoughts?
I hear what you’re saying, and have been in that position most of my life. How about guys who are simply not able to feel confident, never ever ever? Because of non existent qualities? I know way too many and at times feel like that myself at times when I’m down
Fire video again made a massive difference watching these, looking like im going to be going on a really cool date soon
Hope the date goes well! Here's a refresher on first dates if you need it: ruclips.net/video/Do6PlJVeiPA/видео.html Cheers, Dan
@@DanBacon_ cheers dan much thanks 🙏
Dan, I have this issue where my confidence fluctuates like crazy. One day I can go up to any girl and successfully pull ur off, the next day I’ll be too nervous to even be able to maintain eye contact and I’ll be all shifty in my feet and socially awkward. Do you know why this is? It’s two extremes. It all depends on how I’m feeling that day… it’s a full body feeling of either strength or weakness.
It means that you're not yet confident in your ability to attract women. You know some things to do and can pull it off at times, but you're not certain your abilities, or certain that women really want to be with you. Watch this: ruclips.net/video/rkxGI0Vwzgo/видео.html Cheers, Dan
First fool!
You were first 👍
Guys, can a woman pair bond with a new man if she has been in the same relationship with the same man for several years and then breaks up?
probably.
Hi Dan
...I would not mind seeing you with out the beard and wearing your black leather jacket as you would back in the day picking up chicks...rock on
Approaching alone already tells the girl that what you want in life is so important to yourself that you even go out of your comfort zone and approach somebody. This signifies that you take your wants and desires seriously and can handle the possibility (thus outcome) of rejection.
Dan, What do you think about women settling with 'friends' in their social circle? I see it happens more nowadays. Let me explain, I see some guys who are not able to approach & attract random women, but they manage to get a girl thru their social circle. They're not that confident either, they get confident thru getting to know the girl for a long time, a bit of simp too & they have no idea about game (attraction, confidence etc), but some guys still manage to keep the girl for a long time. I'm not comparing them, but seem a bit of weird situations. They look like you in the past. Your thoughts, thanks Dan👍
Usually not a hot or pretty girl. Usually pretty average or below average looking at best. However, it can work for them. I know of several couples through my social circle who met through friends and are still together after years or a decade or more. As an example: A woman was brought along to a party at a bar one night by the girlfriend of one of my friends. I didn't find her attractive, but she is a nice girl and was introduced to me first in the hope that I'd like her. She was then introduced to another friend of mine (who is good with women) and he wasn't interested either. She was then introduced to an acquaintance (not a close friend, just someone I know) of mine who is okay with women and they ended up getting married and are still together. They suit each other, so it worked out well for them. Cheers, Dan
@@DanBacon_ In fact, some of those girls are pretty hot. But you're right Dan, I traced back their old photos on social media. It seems that they went under the knife & they looks hot / pretty now; but I think they're trying to hide their insecurity. Also, these hot girls have a boyfriend & public online but they still have a side job on the weekend at night (clubs; door girls etc) where they interact with many men. Anyway, thanks Dan 👍
When l approch girl l said this is bit random l saw l think you look very nice and usually the leave l want ask why she leaves
Thanks Dan, I appreciate your videos as they have a very different view and real life scenarios, it helped to improve myself. From India 👍
Great to hear 👍 BTW: My different view comes from decades of personal success with women and over 15 years of helping men with these problems. More videos next week. Cheers, Dan
Hey Dan I've been following your flow and videos seen few months and its really helpful it actually changed my life around girls but some girls i am always confident and i flirt very easily but some i approach but i can't go that smooth and confident what to do
That comes with a little more practice my friend. To speed up your progress, make sure you are using the technique at the start of the section on Confidence in The Flow. If you use that technique when interacting with women, your confidence will quickly grow each time until you feel totally confident, comfortable and at ease even around the most attractive of women. Enjoy the amazing times ahead! Cheers, Dan 👍
Thanks dan it will be very much helpfull cheer's Dan
Best coach out there 👑
Dan, a personal question: what does your wife think about your history regarding women? I mean you had a lot, is it bother her? Thank you in advance and have a great day.
She likes the fact that other women want him but she got him.
When I met my wife, I had 4 other women in my life (i.e. was sleeping with 4 other women on a casual basis, 3 of which were trying to hard to become my exclusive girlfriend). I got rid of all of them within 48 hours because I how much I liked and respected my wife. So, for her to know that I had 4 other women on the go at the time, she knew what kind of guy she was getting involved with (i.e. a guy who could easily enjoy his choice of women and wasn't easy to get to commit). I also told her about The Modern Man within the first day or so and she was amazed by it. She has always respected what I do via The Modern Man and knows that guys need so much help in this area. In terms of all the women I'd been with prior to her; we don't even talk about it. It's just part of my past. Despite being together for over 10 years and having endless conversations about life, etc, I've never asked her about guys in her past, but she did proactively tell me that she had 1 serious boyfriend before meeting me, who she left. The past isn't what we focus on. It's her and I now (and our twin daughters) and that's all that matters. If anything, she is impressed by how many women liked and wanted me. Women are different in that way. They are impressed by guys who women find attractive, but just don't go around admitting it because they don't want guys to start bragging or pretending to hopefully be liked. Cheers, Dan 👍
That's right. Yet, women don't like to admit that, or have you bring it up to them. It's just something they know and privately feel good about. Cheers, Dan 👍
Men and women are totally different in everything including dating, attraction and evolution
This advice is very very different from what the manosphere community on RUclips is saying. This one seems more realistic and gives me more hope
To understand what is attractive to women you need to understand that they select boyfriends or lovers based on how much long term value they perceive he will add to their lives. This is done subconsciously and thus automatically by them. They can not NOT do this with any guy that they meet and are in the least bit interested in. It is as automatic as breathing.
To determine value they immediately evaluate how good of a relationship partner he will be both in and out of bed. This also includes how he makes them feel. How well he will fit into her life. How well he will be able to provide for her and her children. They do this by looking for traits like confidence, a sense of humor and social intelligence. That is why these traits are attractive to women.
That's correct and is why it's essential for guys to truly understand how to display the kind of traits that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, sense of humor, social intelligence, masculinity, charm, charisma). If a guy doesn't know how and he gets an opportunity with a pretty woman who would have had sex or a relationship with him, he will almost always screw it up and lose his opportunity. He will then have to wait many months or years until he gets another opportunity like that, or he possibly won't ever meet a woman like her again. So, for those reading along in the comments - examples of how to display the traits that women feel naturally attracted to can be found in The Flow: store.themodernman.com/in/57ec587 Cheers, Dan 👍
Dan, as many people say you are a legend. But what advice do you have for someone in a relationship with a female with relationship anxiety who needs more reassurance then the average woman?
The Man is on fire! 🎉
😎👍
I cant belive this is free
4:31 god dayum that blonde
1:26 - On his t-shirt are printed the weekdays, Monday to Friday.
After that, it is mentioned twice in the Indian Marathi language as "Jhopu de" "Jhopu de", which means - let me sleep, let me sleep.
Work during weekdays and sleep during weekends. 😅
Cool. Thanks for the translation 👍Despite his chill approach to life, he still has a pretty girlfriend.
❤😊You are my cup of tea
Let’s “Flow” gents ! 👏🏾
He know what's talking about. Not even woman , you can get everything you want with that mentality
For real 👍
Can you make a video about cheating and how to make yourself forgiven
Here you go: ruclips.net/video/GABeGCtq6Ng/видео.html
This is a fantastic post. Confidence inherently is the magic potion that women feel attracted to and want a taste of and coupled with the notion of being non-attached, guess is a big plus..
Yes, confidence to women is like their physical beauty to us. We love to look at the physical beauty of women and it feels so good to us. Same goes for women when they look at and experience our confidence. It's endlessly attractive to them. Cheers, Dan
Dan, looking for your advice. My wife and I got married this past October, and in February we got into a fight over something stupid. Ever since she’s basically refused or at least hasn’t had much interest in any physical intimacy, including rejecting sex entirely. She’s given me feedback and I feel like I’ve improved in a lot of ways for our relationship (i.e. generally being more confident, easy going, less reactive, etc) and am pulling my own weight but she’s still in that too soon/not enough progress mindset. She’s not doing much herself except being somewhat less argumentative. This has been going on close to 3 months. It seems like it’s been way too long to keep this up, and I don’t feel like her reasons for rejecting me are at all legitimate at this point. Kind of feels like a battle for control and that she wants me to jump through hoops without receiving much in return. I hardly recognize the person I fell in love with, because she’s intentionally withholding physical intimacy while knowing very well how important it is to my sense of fulfillment in a relationship. What would you recommend I do?
Start treating her like your bratty little sister,don't take anything seriously, withold intamacy from her,and spark attraction in other women when you are out and about.
Keep frame.
Here's the problem, "while knowing very well how important it is to my sense of fulfillment in a relationship." If a woman gets that sense from you, then sex becomes something that she is reluctantly giving you to help make you feel okay about yourself. That is a huge sex drive killer in a relationship. The comment from Lloyd below is actually spot on in terms of what you should be doing, except rather than using the word 'sister' I would use the word 'girl' because you do still want to have sex with her. So, stop taking it all so seriously. From now on, treat her like a bratty little girl that you like, but don't need to have sex with. By doing that, you will be flirting with her and creating sexual tension. She will be impressed that you don't seem to need the sex anymore and since you are more attractive now (i.e. due to no longer being so sensitive, needy or insecure about the lack of sex or intimacy), she will naturally feel drawn to you and want sex. Also, don't jump through unreasonable hoops from her. If she is asking you to become more confident and less reactive that is fine, but if she starts saying you need to do other things (e.g. housework, cook for her, etc) before she will open up to sex, then she's just tooling you/messing with you and you need to laugh at her in a loving way and not do more than you would normally do in terms of housework, or cooking. Many couples in your situation unnecessarily break up because the man becomes very annoyed and resentful towards his wife for seeming to change so much. Yet, you have to understand that one of the most important roles a woman plays in a man's life, is to challenge him to level up and become stronger. Rise up to the challenge that your wife is presenting you. You will become a stronger man because of it and the sex between you and her will be even better. If you need help to become stronger and handle the challenges your wife is throwing at you, click through to this page and then go to the product called Make Her Love You For Life: store.themodernman.com/in/57ec587 Cheers, Dan 👍
Hi dan, i have some question. What do you do in case you approached a girl walking in mall, and she just keep walking and say no thank you again and again, do you keep talking and walk with her or she is a lost cause?
Hi Williz - A no thank you is a no thank you. So, you can then just politely end the interaction (i.e. "Okay, have a nice day") and talk to another woman instead. BTW: If you're getting that kind of reaction, you're probably not approaching with an easygoing, social kind of confidence. Watch this video for an example of what I said and did to approach a woman during the day: ruclips.net/video/CoXC2pBRGUY/видео.html Cheers, Dan
@@DanBacon_ Thanks for your advice , I also would like to ask if it matter wether I open with a direct or situational opener based on the country culture , because when I approached girl in Singapore usually it is ok if I open with a direct " hi I just saw you over there and I want to come over and talk to you, I am .... and just go from there / i just saw you and i find you attractive .. but here in Indonesia while some girl do still open up with that kind of opener usually most just will keep walking or completely ignored me instead if i use indirect opener like " hi do you know where is ... and transition from there , so is direct approach ineffective in Indonesia and i can only use indirect or situational opener? or does it all come down to how you carry your self and just keep rolling till you find a girl who are open up with you? thankyou
Big love dan
W'sup DobbySharma! 👍
@@DanBacon_ enjoying your videos as usual
Can you do a vid on how to get older girls? Like 2-3 years older than you
I'm not Dan but I'll still give my 2 cents.
Such an age difference seems irrelevant to me… to the approach or anything. As long as they like you, that is -- otherwise, they'll use it as an excuse to get rid of you (a more situational version of the more generic "I'm a lesbian" 😄) which you foolishly may believe is the real reason (or you may "believe" it for ego reasons: which is probably the reason they gave you that - to spare your ego from the real "I don't like you [enough]").
Unless you're 14, I guess - then it may be relevant. (which you probably are 😄, I cannot imagine someone 30y.o. asking that question)
Woman breaks all rulez for alphaz 😎2-3 years...are you serious? 😄You're in a wrong place mentally, lemme tell you that. Think hard and deep about your whole way of coming at this. THESE *TINY* DETAILS DON'T MATTER! Stop focusing on the wrong things. Sorry if I'm injuring the aforementioned ego. ;-)
Refer to reply from @exnihilonihilfit6316 . That's pretty much it. Also: Women will get with guys 5 or 8 years younger (e.g. she's 35 and he's 27) if he's confident, charming and masculine enough. Women know it would be difficult to maintain the long run (i.e. because she will likely lose the rest of her youthful attractiveness and he might not like it), but in many cases, she will still be willing to give it a try if he's able to make her feel enough attraction. Cheers, Dan
Really good video!
Great👌
You are able to work out the really critical points for me
👍
💪
Hey Dan, quick question on overcoming something that I can’t change like potentially having hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating condition) and when I’m around women I feel totally fine but my hands start to sweat or under my shirt, what would you recommend for a way to deal with that around women?
Most guys get sweaty hands around a girl they like. Same goes for when they are trying to build up the courage to call her, or even text her in some cases. The guy's heart is racing and as Ben from The Modern Man would say, "He's sweatin' bullets." How do you overcome it? You need to have real confidence with women. Here's how: ruclips.net/video/rkxGI0Vwzgo/видео.html Only when you truly believe in your ability to attract women, will you stop worrying and just enjoy the process. Cheers, Dan
@@DanBacon_ Thank you Dan, also do you believe in the law of attraction/placebo affect with positive thinking and that your thinking directly impacts how your life will go?
@@brennangorman28 Yes those things are real. You can also use the approach of the law of attraction when praying, if you are one who prays. Cheers, Dan
@@DanBacon_ Wow! Thanks yes haha I’m Christian and I never thought about it like that… awesome👍🏼
Well said, as always 🙏
Cheers Eddie 👍 Glad you enjoyed the vid.
Hello Dan. Great content as usual. I love you so much and I'm working really hard to be like you. As usual, I have a few questions for you though
1) How long did it take you to start getting results even after you discovered what attracts women?
2) How do you handle women who seem tired and a bit unwilling to talk?
3) Is it great to use playfully arrogant humor at the workplace?
4) I discovered that a lot of guys are generally funny with women. Does that mean that they are all attractive?
5) How did you combine approaching women with work seeing that you approached thousands of women and how many women did you approach before you worked the secrets out?
The subconscious suggestion of potential, I project confidence now (thanks). I didn't get a promotion at work tho. But even then and people knowing I applied, I still hold the respect of my coworkers, and my attractiveness as usual 😏...
Saw a notification on me phone at work “New Dan Bacon Video” Couldnt wait to get home And watch it 😂 so good Sir, amazing knowledge/Video here mate 🫡
Haha, love it. Glad you enjoyed the vid man 👍 Cheers, Dan