20:10 "ENFJs see the good in everyone but if we don't see the good in someone, if we think someone is annoying, or if they aren't adding any value to our life then, we're not gonna talk to them and we're not afraid to do that. You can't please everyone." HAAHAHAHA EVERY. SINGLE. WORD.
I am an INFP and my boyfriend is an ENTJ. When we met, he immediately told me of his intention and as an introvert, I was really happy that he did not give me mixed signals. We complement each other very much. It has been 6 years since we first met :)
I am an ENFJ most of the time. I see the good in everyone so I friendly with everyone not being flirtatious. When I love someone I become more introverted because I feel I become more conscientious of what the other person thinks about me. Moreover, I do kind things for someone because I care. I don't just do things for no reason. As a person I never have to do something for someone it is always my choice.
3:44 was a key revelation to me. We'll be friendly to just about everyone we meet, but decide quickly whether we like you or not. So true and insightful. Thank you
As an Enfj...SO true. I always am the first person to make a move as a female, and I have no ability to keep my feelings to myself. I always show my feelings in an obvious way, by doing nice little things for this person, and going out of my way to make them happy.
Wow, this sounds very similar to my ENFJ gf!!! She also confessed to me first but we both liked each other before that so it was almost like a steady flow from friendship to romantic relationship. ENFJs are awesome!!! I think they are an underrated match for ENFPs! ^-^
have you ever been told an uncomfortable truth (or more like a, I can see right through your insecurities type of statement )by an INFP who knew right away and felt unfettered enough to share that with you ??. I took that risk when I had a conversation with an ENFJ and she was very open about it.
She may say : Without a doubt, you are the most special person in my life. I NEVER IMAGINED I COULD FEEL SUCH A DEEP CONNECTION WITH SOMEONE UNTIL I MET YOU. YOU ARE HANDSOME, KIND,GENTLE AND CARING.EACH DAY,MY LOVE FOR YOU GROWS STRONGER,AND I CAN'T IMAGINED A DAY WITHOUT YOU I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL AS YOU MAKE ME FEEL THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. WITH LOVE ALWAYS ❤️ brenda❤️
INTJ here. For me, It’s difficult to know when an ENFJ likes me because you guys can be so obvious, it’s hard to believe. I like to analyze and find deeper meaning behind others actions and why they do the things they do, but ENFP can be so bold in their actions, that I end up overanalyzing or second guessing myself. It’s like watching someone get robbed in broad day light, you’re like “am I seeing this right? Is he robbing that guy 2:30 p.m. on a Saturday in a mall? This can’t be right. Who could be so bold?”
Lmao!!! So true.. I mean isn’t the goal to let someone know you like them?? I have been accused by INxx guys in particular of liking them a lot when I didn’t they much because they are used to looking into deeper meaning. As an Fe dom, I want the people I like to know so we can begin connecting lmao
@Bancho Unfortunately no one once moved to friend zone gets moved out. We know almost immediately if we like someone in a relationship Capacity or not. And nothing really can change us from that
@@sub.sa.3058 woah I can relate to what you said (infp here). I only show my fi-ne side only when I'm comfortable with someone. I think it kinda comes out naturally. If I force it, it can drain me or make me feel like im not being true to myself.
As an ENFP who has a huge crush on an ENFJ who I suspect likes me too, this was a RIDICULOUSLY HUGE AND AMAZINGLY informative video. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I'm ENFP either. I fell in love with an ENFJ but I can get if she likes me or not. I think not bc she kinda doesn't feel or understand what I feel. It's like an ignorance. I'm in trouble
JTCircus here’s hoping you don’t finally get what you want(a relationship) and then become bored and move on *enfps like to do that to me, romantically or friendship wise*
Adilkhan Mazhit she will likely try to hide her feelings if she does not know yours, and if she is in love with you, she will be blushy and act differently around you. Some of us are more skilled at surpressing it, but we just hate rejection. Ask her out. Make your intentions clear.
Thank you for this video Meghan. As an INFP, what you said about our type getting stuck in conversations is so true! I'm standing there listening politely, and it can be hard to break it off. As for ENFJ liking me, it's really good to know this. I can definitely see the appeal in them.
As an ENFJ it's really obvious when we like you, we will make it very clear. However being nice has lead girls in the past thinking that I'm into them.. but if we are into you, you will know it. Enjoyed the video! Thank you.
*INFJ* I dated an ENFJ and your thoughts were pretty much my experience. We got to know each other long enough to know we liked each other. She was straightforward and pulled me out of my shell, haha.
Man I wish I had seen this video last fall. Currently dating an ENFJ. I'm an INFJ. But trying to read him early on was a struggle because he liked me but wasn't sure he wanted to date anyone at the time. So he was giving those mixed signals you were talking about. He would ask me all kinds of questions and go out of his way for me but would totally play dumb to my advances. As an INFJ who is always trying to figure people out this was maddening! Finally after about a month I just confronted him about it. He tried to deny it at first but finally admitted his feelings for me as well. We've been dating ever since.
Interesting. I’m an INFJ man interested in an ENFJ. I feel like we both like each other as in we consider the other to be a good person, but I can’t tell at all yet if she’s interested in me like she wants to date. She said she likes to take things really slowly in dating and make sure we can be friends first. I’m fine with that, but at the same time I want to try to predict if things are going well. I’ve seen a lot about how ENFJs make it super obvious if they like you, but don’t feel that yet. It’s still kinda early though. I wonder how that compares to your experience?
That was awesome to watch thanks. I am an INFP and have recently actually gotten to know an ENJF friend. I couldn't agree more, it took him 1 day to tell me straight up several times a day and in a sweet, nice but aggressive way that like he likes me. He is open, honest and super warm about it. He doesn't hide it. He was just straight forward with it. It took him 2 days to tell me that his heart beats for me 😍. We are not yet in a relationship, but he is very open with the idea that is where he wants it to go. As an INFP I love that. He wants to speak with me, and spend time with me all the time. Goes out his way to make that happen. After coming out of a relationship with an INFJ a few months ago (which was a absolute mess), I am finding all of this a breath of fresh air. I must also say that there is a very strong and natural chemistry between us, which has been incredible to experience.
I have a huge crush on an ENFJ I work with. I'm an INFJ (although I've typed as an INFP once). Every time I talk to her, it feels like I've never been so free to be myself. Something about her is just so easy to talk to. I am over 50% convinced she likes me back. She got a lot of the “tells”-she laughs at my jokes, she is comfortable getting close and bumping up next to me even if not necessary, she holds really good eye contact. Honestly, it's a dream, and if I weren't so damn insecure I'd think the chances were even better. I asked her out last week, and she said no because she just went out with someone else and doesn't want to lead either of us on. She wants to see if that will go anywhere first. It's crushing my chest. It's ridiculous to feel this way about someone I've known less than a month, but she's the first person I've known in twenty-eight years around whom I feel no need for pretense and even feel encouraged to open up. She's absolutely everything I've been hoping for in a partner, but she asked me to give her two weeks to see what will happen with the other man before I ask her out again. It's been the longest five days in waking memory so far.
I feel a series on this would be sweet. Types I'm curious about in this regard are infj/ intj/enfp/esfp, and intp. It would be interesting to see a series on how they are in various connections platonic and otherwise.
the feeling when you are in the ranks of the thick headed introverts lol. "Does he like me? He always texts me.. HE MUST BE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP."
As an ENFJ, it's very true that I only ever liked people I have a close bond and connection with whom I know deeply. I can't imagine liking someone whom I don't really know well. So if we are not that close, I probably haven't considered you in the romantic aspect. I also agree that if I like you, I talk to you really often and will express my love in many ways. I am a doer and I am rarely passive. Things almost always transform from thoughts to actions. :)) I also really agree that love comes later. It develops and grows. It's a process. And yes, I also have the tendency to weave myself into the lives of the people I want to keep in my life. XD As I said, I am a doer. xD I don't wait for fate or something to bring us together. I exert efforts for them to be in my life and vice versa. :3 Then it's up to them if they either respond positively or not about that initiative~ ^^ I also super agree with going out of my way!!! ^^ And it's super true that it's so hard to hold back!!! >///< Everything is bursting and overflowing!!! >//
I'm an ISTJ, as you probably know by now, and this video is kind of interesting, because you unintentionally described my ENFJ girlfriend's way of expressing that she loves me AFTER we've been dating, but how my INFJ friend has always expressed how she likes me as a friend, and how I, not being an Intuitive, didn't pick up on the signs until it was too late. Thankfully, we've gotten past that awkwardness, and things are way better. In case people are wondering how ISTJs show that they love someone, since ISTJs don't seem to be too popular with you.... I'll sum it up in one sentence: "Not with their words or facial expressions." We're likely going to show an intense focus on one person in stepping out of our comfort zone in one way or another, followed by something similar to "I don't normally do this for other people," and that very act of vulnerability, because it's so reserved, indicates a special place in that ISTJ's heart (literally, because that's where it's felt).
As an INTP, I also don't like small talk outside of trying to find common ground with someone I don't know. I usually ask about movies, music, and book tastes to get the ball rolling, so I think we're similar in that respect. I think your "approach" to examining a potential mate is also similar to mine in that you examine all the factors you can before pursuing a relationship. I think the key difference here is that I am not going to be inclined to make the first move because it will be awkward and feel presumptuous. I'd rather have the other person approach me so that I can respond in the affirmative without feeling like I'm at risk of embarrassing myself if she were to turn me down and that hurts badly enough that I prefer to avoid it.If you like an introvert, they likely just want you to come out and say it because they prefer not to put themselves on the line in case they're wrong.
Dang this helped me out so much. I have been called a homey hopper in the past because I had crushes on girls and when they rejected me I'd move to their friends or other girls in my immediate circle and have crushes on them. The girls who called me a homey hopper believed that crushes should be on people you just meet, but to me I never had a crush on anybody who I wasn't friends with first.
When I like someone, I become more introverted and focus more on my emotions than on other people's emotions. I also get excited at first, and then I get shy and aloof from that person. I like to observe them and gather information about them. I try to be close, but not too close until I'm 100% sure. And I'm never 100% sure. I like to like people, and romantic relationships sometimes get in the way of that.
As an INFP, I believe I've only met a handful of ENFJ females. only one for sure, it was revelatory actually knowing that is my type of Extravert for sure. the problem is I dont get out much to interact with people as so meeting new people is very difficult.
Hi Meghan😆 It's funny, when you said that you don't want to undermine an introverts intelligence by not coming outright and telling them that you like them-I, as an INFJ LOVE(I'll say it again)LOVE it when I'm told about someone's affection. Sure, there's a chance that I may not feel the same way, lol, but still-its an awesome feeling. I wouldn't at all feel like my intelligence is being undermined. But I'm also a different kind of INFJ, I'm very aggressive. I usually have to work hard to tone myself down lol. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, lol but THANK YOU for taking the time out to make these vids. I'm currently in like with my male enfj co-worker who does majority of what you mentioned here. You shed a lot of light on the situation. Much love lady😆
(INFP) Sooo different. How can you hurt that guy at the bar's feelings so much like that! I treat strangers best because I don't know what they can take yet. :)
Young inmature ENFJs can get I love by imagining that a person is nice based on very little. I used to be like that. I also need to add that you might like someone but think that you have no chance, or you think you have tried and didn't get a good response. You will be looking for the person only if you are actually trying.
nooooooo don't say that :( you are perfect just the way you are! it's just a matter of getting over your own fear and speaking your truth! you can do it. but remember, you don't have to settle!! you can still be picky.
Great vid. The sentence" 12:00 you can tell if they want to be your friend or want something more is obvious. " Not so obvious. The coffee example I would do all the time to everyone. EnFJ is difficult to read as I would go out of my way for everyone.
19:29 Hehe, about the "being more direct" part, I can just imagine... "do you need this chai-" "do you not see I'm talking to my friend rn? ok nice to meet you bye" (jk, i got what you meant)
I got ghosted by an ENFJ dude out of nowhere! Everything was amazing and we were having such wonderful conversations, and then it just started slowing down, and now he straight up does not talk to me. So unexpected and crappy
I did too as an enfj girl 😂😂 but to be honest people can have bad experiences and have different attachment styles I was very coutious and maybe he felt played. You never know what's going on in someone's life. Don't take it personally 🤗. I've been probably gohsted by every type by now since it seems normal nowadays 😢.
This was a fantastically informative video, loved the content. But I had to say an amusing thought that I had. You say like a lot in your ordinary sentances, outside of specifically talking about liking someone. So could you imagine if I did a drinking game for each time you say like hahahahaaaa I'd be fuuuucked after this video hahaha
I once flirted with an INFJ as an experiment, i thought maybe it could lead somewhere 😂😂😂 he was SO thick skulled! He picked up on nothing. Spot on. His brother picked up immediately, but I just stopped trying because I didn’t want to tell him I liked him or ruin a friendship. Thank God I did not kiss him. I almost did when I was extremely tired, but I was like NOPE. Logic kicked in and I realized I didn’t really like him that much.
i'm an INTJ & i feel EXACTLY the same way about ALWAYS being the one to make the 1st move, invite friends out, initiate contact & so on & i really want someone to do that for me first too, to show me i mean something to them & i'm having this same issue with my male ENFJ best friend, we're having issues now & i'm the one who said let;s meet & talk-twice already!i KNOW he has a mad crush on me (& i do too as annoying as that is!) so i don't get why he's being so difficult & i just wanna smash his head like a watermelon & at the same time love him with all my heart....i just need to do SOMETHING to get shit out of him AAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, my name is Ryder, and I've seen several of your videos and I'm an enfp. I know you've had slot of experiences with enfps, but straight to the point. I have a friend whose an ENFJ, and I've seen your videos on "how to know if an enfj likes you. " And, I mean, I've known her for 2 months now and we do talk alot. Text, hang out, I took her to her first bar, we had like a 70s holding the hand while skating moment, etc. And she's been nurturing to me, I'm a smoker and she's been wanting to monitor my smoking, help me quit, made a plan for me to quit, she's sat with me while I smoke, just the two of us even though she doesn't smoke. We've seen a movie together, we're going next week to see an anime movie, but she's never seen anime and she is willing to go see it with me. And I'm an MMA fighter and she wants to go to the gym with me to train, go on a picnic to together, go swimming, sky diving(even though she's scared of heights), etc. We talked about doing slot of things. I don't know, I'm sure you know, ENFPs, or maybe just me, can be very blind to see the signs, or maybe like you said, "making assumptions" but I've been holding that back because I really like this girl. Ifyou have the time, maybe get back to me. Pleases and thank yous.
As an ENFJ, an example of when I went above and beyond to show someone I liked them was planning out a bunch of stuff to do for their birthday (and I got them a cute inside joke gift)
I’m glad I stumbled across this video! I became good friends with an enfj last year and it went from “oh this person just wants to be good friends,” to “woah I think this person likes me,” real quick 😂. I was often confused as to why the friend would constantly refer to me as his girlfriend to our friends and do other insane stuff. But he wouldnt ask me out, so I got tired of it and told him I liked him, but he didn’t reciprocate my feelings. He told me he just wanted to me friends, he didn’t see me that way, but he valued my friendship and we should be “normal” friends. But we haven’t been normal since 🙄😢. It’s been months and I waited for him to contact me but he never did...so again this time I reached out to him as a friend, something simple. Now he texts me first again slowly. I really couldn’t figure out where his head is if he’s such an intentional person. I think this helped me pick him brain a bit without having to ask 😂. So thank you.
13:45 ..very familiar..you ask them a couple of questions as you like them and eventually want them to be your friend and they don't give a shit to ask you something in a return as first...always such a "lovely" situation. Also, don't want to sound that I am pushing too much but that's my friendliness and I must control it.
I dated to my ex before, and yes, I was the one who did a first move. Asked him to meet me, and he knows that I loved him. As an ENFJ, I never ask someone who I don't love to go out together just me and him. So if ENFJ do that, it must be they love you.
@@ALEN1ful I have two Infjs friends, and one is close to me, she gets me, and we both care and appreciate each other in the same amount, It’s great to have kind cute Infjs in the world✨😾🤍 We appreciate your kindness
I've been mistaken as flirting with people for trying to get to know them and having them open up, so I learned to clearly establish that im not flirting and you would know if i am! I'm a diehard romantic and will tell them i like them AFTER i know forsure I like them. I can be distant if I'm unsure of my own feelings, or if that person is stringing me along. My tell tale flirtation is using inside jokes with a dash of complimenting or I'm doing a caring act that is specific to that person
Can you make a video about the “push/ pull games “ the ENFJ’s play in the beginning stages of a relationships? (I think that relates to the “victim” romance style in Socionics)
Hey Meghan, love your videos. I'm an INFP and friends with an ENFJ that I'm starting to fall for but it seems like it's clear that I've been put into the friendzone. You've described that ENFJ are inclined to put people in certain boxes like "friends" and "people I flirt with" and "relationship worthy". How inclined are you as an ENFJ to change the position of a friend to a possible relationship in the future? What would be the criteria for some change like this to happen to you? Thanks in advance ;)
As an ENFJ, as soon as i placed someone in a box, its a definite box, if i concider you as a friend only, you will remain a friend for us. If i liked you, you would know it forsure.
I think the box is only changeable by a situation. So you haven't seen eachother for a while and have changed and they can see you with new eyes. Or you got to know each other while one of you was in a relationship so that was an obvious friend box and now you are both single and you also behave that way (flirty, "showing your market value") they can see you now in one of the other boxes. The best position is if you have always been the flirty friend so there was always tension or room for more. It can develop in a more sturdy friendship by deciding you are not for eachother or can be seen as more by showing more efford and attention.
I'm an ENFJ-T, and I like a ISFP. But I'm to shy to outwardly say "I like you" because I'm afraid of scaring him off. Ive been going slow asking for info. I have never been straight forward when i have a crush. I blush, get awkward n quiet a bit, but not fully quiet. Heart races and my brain goes in overload
I meet someone whos an enfj he was extremely nice listen to me very closely but he seemed flirty with other girls idk if he actually liked me or not 😔...im infp...he did tell me i seem very genuine
So I hang out with this enfj guy in his place. We had a good conversation. He winked at me a couple of times, prepared me food and stuff. He puts my legs into his lap in the middle of us drinking and I allowed his to put on mine eventually. We had a light conversation if he likes me or not, he said yes and I said I like him too. But what baffles me is he never asked me a single question about me during our conversation. We hang out in his place for 10 hrs. Maybe my body language tells him that I'm guarded? I dunno.
Wow to wanting to live in the same town for you entire life it would have to really make you feel good and have much going on to make me want to be in one place for life!!
As an INFP, paticularily when I was a teenager and young adult I did get to have a few Meet Cutes with people who I got along with very well. I don't know if they where ENFJ, maybe a few of them where. I suppose my ideal instance would be to meet her and end up talking for a few hours, I suppose I would be lucky if I found someone and we had to remain in the same orbit regardless of our circumstances.
Well.. hes definitely in love with me lol I’m an INFJ and we’re like 2 pees in a pod, he lays on my lap and embraces me like nobody I’ve ever known lol
I'm friends with an ENFJ. So... His actions show he's like so ok with me liking him. But he never told me anything specific. 🥲 He noticed I liked him and one time I was complaining. He asked me directly if I was jealous and I just had to admit it I can't lie to him, he always knows if there's something wrong even when I don't say anything. 😂 He seemed happy when he confirmed I like him. I thought he didn't get it because he acted as if it's not a big deal. He schedules time to call me. He plays guitar and sings for me. He does this only for me... But he is loving and kind to everyone so idk if this is special. Like seriously! ENFJs are very kind to everyone so it's difficult to assume. 😭 I never asked him what he feels about me, because I don't wanna be hurt. 😂 He told me he's thankful he met me and that he's always willing to listen to me, even if I only tell him boring little details of my day. He always tries to make me feel better and he's just so kind and patient. I'm honestly very happy just for his existence in my life. But he still haven't said anything. 🥲
I think he likes you and the whole schedule time thing... we don't do that for other people who we don't enjoy our time with. Any updates on this ? Lol
even that i am ENFJ and i am reading people like a book i mean i like to walk in peoples mind and explore it, but i am not sure if this ability would work with an ENFJ
I tried it lol i am an ENFJ-A and my roomate is an ENFJ-T, we live in the same basement for 7 months now, we are same age (25). However we are complete opposite, he is not organized, selfish and doesn’t concider other people and expect everyone to coordinate their life to his. I recently got angry with him. He is not able to read me I can tell, but I am able to read him. I guess ENFJ-A can read other ENFJ-T. I haven’t met any ENFJ-A tho, i know what kind of feeling i give to people and can read people easily. I haven’t met anyone who can read me yet i don’t think this will happen, but i believe we can find someone who understands us.
@@javinx21 am ENFJ-A as well, i have a partner who is ENFJ-T, i must say that i have the same struggles, I've heard that ENFJ-T are used to be ISTP-like or in ISTP subsconcious, as you know ISTPs get a bad rap sometimes for being ‘lazy’ or taking shortcuts in life. They’re seen as rule-breakers, rebels, and anti-authoritarian anarchists
@@stoicstoic1250 now that you say it yeah, i guess you are right he may have been an ISTP before. And trust me when i tell you, i do not get angry easily, but his behaviors are the opposite of my morals. I hope your partner and you are doing okay 👌🏿 rn i’m still concentratingon myself, ENFJ can improve enormously when we focus on ourselves, until i am able to find someone that can understand our complex personalities.
@@javinx21 ughhh srsly we ar not doing okay, as an ENFJ -A i tend to transfer feeling to Express myself, once i feel like he is not analysing them on a proper why, i get annoyed, but i am always looking at the bright side yeah ENFJ's can improve themselves, and i think we don't have to push on them to make it happen because it well just happen
@@stoicstoic1250 forsure i understand you. And trust me i feel you in a deep level lol, it’s crazy how we are all similar. And it’s a fact that we always take the best decisions for the community and us.
Im sorry. I don’t fall in love quickly at all. I have had two electric encounters and it was unlike any other encounter in my life. I pursued and it was a very satisfying relationship while it lasted and very hard when it ended. I ended both of those but my heart was hard to move on. We look for something rare for relationships and most people dont have it. We might flirt etc but overall, we are not too casual because we care too much but lock down our hearts
I am very much an ENFJ. With a pretty strong Ti tho. But to say we don't do love at first sight 😂😂. That's just something people experience fysically that's not only for infp's or enfp's and yes I do fantasize and no I don't have the balls to start a conversation or ask someone out as I have fear of rejection which is pretty normal for a eanagram type 2. But how I deal with it is pretty similar to what is described. I will make myself noticable make it easy for the person to talk to me and then I really want to get to know the person even tho I feel butterflies I really need to know it is mutual and if we are a good match mostly if the talking feels natural and the person is actually nice, if they have things in common (morals, lifegoals or life visions) and if they could be a good partner in time and attention. I am pretty flirty and maybe act like it's not purposefull because I rather have the other to express their feelings first to feel safe especially when I am not sure if it's a right choice to actually date. Than I really want to be convinced by someone's efford and persuing. Not saying this is a good thing.. I think being able to express your feelings and ask people out will get you further. Just saying not all ENFJ's are the approaching type.
Look I know this is old but as an INFJ please please tell me how feel even as any personality type it always feels good to be loved! But seriously if your an enfj please please reach out to someone you think is introverted because we hate making the first move!!!!
I’m an 28 infp male, I met an 31 enfj girl and are instantly attracted by her passion and energy, I can’t help my self but express my feelings towards her. we’ve only know each other for a month or more and we’ve already shared our deepest secrets and went out a few times. From the first date she always walks in front of me and now we just constantly brush shoulders whenever we walk along each other. She have been through some tough relationships ending up in her boyfriend cheating, and have some health conditions one time when I try to flirt too hard she told me she likes to be friends with me and are not looking for a romantic relationship but when I asked her if she are closing the romantic door against me she said she won’t eliminate all possibilities, I wonder if she have feelings for me and just wants to know me more and observe me before entering a romantic relationship(her fastest boyfriend has known her for 4 months), or is she really only trying to be a friend?
As a ENFJ-T with emotional love issues over the years and trauma, this usually makes us heavily guarded to wanting to be in a relationship. BUT, we DO want a relationship. It's just hard to move forward. And we want to get to know a person well enough first to know we aren't gonna be hurt again after that point. I'm personally having my own shyness in telling a suspected ISFP I like him. It's hard for me to say cause of past issues with love life. Plus he is very aloof but I have many suspicions he likes me too. Just hard cause he is a action kind of guy over words. But he flirts. And ppl have said he treats me differently from others. And even if he is offline for months, when he is online, he spends hours talking to me. Then poofs again. Yea it's frustrating cause I want communication more often but I'm smitten with him. Can't help it. Tip: Don't be disheartened and give up. Really start just being a friend and talking to her regularly. Overtime she may feel comfortable enough to start dating you. And even when we aren't dating yet, we appreciate knowing someone likes us. ❤ Some introverts never say it out loud. Like the guy I like. Lol You will know when she really likes you and is beginning to think romantically because she will start to get a little shy. It's a emotional overload. But she will pay full attention to you, asking questions, ect
@@XxBrittany20xX thanks for the information, she is an ENFJ-T too, so being shy will be a good sign that she's thinking romantically ? have you guys dated yet? how about physical touches like brushing shoulders when walking together, does enfj girls do this to all close male friends?
@@chityanli2948 shyness in any degree and especially blushing is what u need to look for. Once she starts doing that, you'll know she is starting to develop romantic thoughts for sure. Until then, she may be hiding her attraction romantically with you. (With romance, if we have experienced trauma, our introverted function kicks in for protection) If she is brushing up against close to you, she might be doing it on purpose to feel closer to u. Which is a good sign. That is the start mindset to romance. So the fact she is brushing shoulders, may be a start of feelings, but i wouldnt jump the gun yet. (Brushing shoulders and walking beside u is also a way of saying "I'm trying to get to know you and be on ur wavelength. It's a sign of closeness) We take awhile to read since we generally are kind to anyone we meet and when the introverted side kicks in, makes it a little harder to read us also because we have gone through so much emotional trauma. It's a defence mechanism to attempt blocking off romance to protect our fragile heart/feelings. But of course because of our nature, eventually we cave. I finally just left a message to the guy I like online and he hasn't responded yet which feels like I'm dying a slow death of embrassment. (Since he is a ISFP, it may take awhile til he shows up) If he doesn't reciprocate, that's fine. I can get over it. But I feel better at least finally saying something. I need confirmation from him to know If I should move on with my feelings or not. Tho I do have a high intuitive feeling he likes me too. I told him I'm not interested in dating rn either as I'm in my comfort zone and not ready to make leaps due to my trauma also. But I DID finally get the courage to admit to myself and him I like him romantically. The girl u like may act the same overtime. Which is why I say to be patient. Just being there and giving support will eventually make her wanna come forward. (The guy i like has listened to me and just him doing that finally made me wanna admit i like him) But don't be to strong in your forwardness romantically either for now as u get close to her. It will push back her progress wanting to say anything about her liking u. It's like a deer caught in the headlights. I know, I've had a couple guys in the past year do this to me and it scared me. So just try to remain supportive and be there when she needs a ear. The patience will pay off.
I have a huge question. Your main point is that if they aren't trying to spend time with you and getting to know you and openly showing there interest then they probably don't like you in a crush sort of way. There has been big instances of her trying to help me out like one time my mother was too drunk to pick me up so she said at like 10pm she'd pick me up and take me home (we're younger so she'd even have to get her parents) but besides the couple big ones she literally never texts me outside of school, and doesn't show interest, but when I engage first she flips. We have a period together and whether we talk at school, on the phone, facetime, when I get her going and go beyond small talk she's fully engaged trying to help me out and is interested in the conversation, she just never engages first. I don't know if that's a good sign since they're friendly to everyone, it's DEFINITELY more friendly than the average Joe, which is why I'm so confused. She laughs at everything I say, engaged in our conversations the whole 9 yards but only when I engage first, what does that mean?
SleepyPanda It’s probably because she wants the feeling of being pursued. I try not to be too pushy/forward with a guy because I don’t want to take the pursuit from him. But, the tricky part is, she might be very awkward around people she likes, or just sees as a friend, if the DTR hasn’t happened yet. I find it difficult to engage with guys that I see potential in, and are single, and a good friend. So sometimes I hold back until I know that he has some type of interest in me. If he doesn’t make things clear, I will eventually grow frustrated and jump the gun, demanding clarity. There’s very little middle grounds for me. I’m either very shy and awkward about it, or very blunt and antsy.
How much does looks, weight, matter to a ENFJ man? I know this might sound surface level question, but I was wondering about how much does that calculate when getting interested into someone? And thank u so much for making these videos :)
As a ENFJ-T myself, the appearance don't matter. Though don't get the wrong idea, we like a guy/girl to be well groomed. We like to see the person for who they are first as a person. Appearance is affected also by personality. Hopefully this answered ur question.
Where does teasing fit in, if at all? There's someone whom I think is an ENFJ that I don't really know well but we work together, and kind of out of the blue she started teasing me...and now we go back and forth teasing each other. There's more I could write, but I will spare you/everyone, lol. I just want to know any ENFJ's thoughts on when/why they initiate teasing, especially when you're not friends already. And no, she doesn't really seem to do this with anyone else.
musicalone8123 As an ENFJ(P), I definitely tease a person I like, honestly I don’t know why. I just want them to know I like them but I don’t want to be the first to say it and possibly get rejected. So I tease in a flirty way sometimes, just to read their response. If they start opening up to me more, and teasing back, or blushing, then I know I’m on good grounds. If that person fake laughs and changes the subject, or leaves suddenly, then I will probably never tease them again and leave them all the way alone. So I guess it’s all about reading the response of that person 🤷🏽♀️
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As an INFP, I appreciate that an ENFJ do not like small talk. I don't like small talk.
Yes. Meaningful talk is so much more fun. #infp
eunicorn eunice but how can you like small talks, you can like not talking to people a lot but small talks are boring and doesn't go anywhere
No one likes small talk. Some people are just better at it than others.
😂
As an ENFJ I get bored out of my mind with small talk, but most of the time you wouldn't know it because I'm generally too nice to people.
20:10 "ENFJs see the good in everyone but if we don't see the good in someone, if we think someone is annoying, or if they aren't adding any value to our life then, we're not gonna talk to them and we're not afraid to do that. You can't please everyone." HAAHAHAHA EVERY. SINGLE. WORD.
I am an INFP and my boyfriend is an ENTJ. When we met, he immediately told me of his intention and as an introvert, I was really happy that he did not give me mixed signals. We complement each other very much. It has been 6 years since we first met :)
I like it when People are strait up honest with me, As an INFP it
helps, to get past a lot of the manhua
I'm an ENTJ female and I can tell you we do not bs
I love honest and direct people. -an INFP
Do one about what an ENFJ needs in a relationship.
I am an ENFJ most of the time. I see the good in everyone so I friendly with everyone not being flirtatious. When I love someone I become more introverted because I feel I become more conscientious of what the other person thinks about me. Moreover, I do kind things for someone because I care. I don't just do things for no reason. As a person I never have to do something for someone it is always my choice.
How much do you value knowledge and truth especially when it comes to speaking with an INFP.
3:44 was a key revelation to me. We'll be friendly to just about everyone we meet, but decide quickly whether we like you or not. So true and insightful. Thank you
As an Enfj...SO true. I always am the first person to make a move as a female, and I have no ability to keep my feelings to myself.
I always show my feelings in an obvious way, by doing nice little things for this person, and going out of my way to make them happy.
Wow, this sounds very similar to my ENFJ gf!!! She also confessed to me first but we both liked each other before that so it was almost like a steady flow from friendship to romantic relationship. ENFJs are awesome!!! I think they are an underrated match for ENFPs! ^-^
Same!!!
So meee
have you ever been told an uncomfortable truth (or more like a, I can see right through your insecurities type of statement )by an INFP who knew right away and felt unfettered enough to share that with you ??. I took that risk when I had a conversation with an ENFJ and she was very open about it.
btw, sorry for the late post, I know this is 3 years old already!!
🤫
Haha "INFPs attract the weirdest people" It so true though and I never know what to do 😂 good video though 👍
Soo true😭😂👍🏼
She may say :
Without a doubt, you are the most special person in my life. I NEVER IMAGINED I COULD FEEL SUCH A DEEP CONNECTION WITH SOMEONE UNTIL I MET YOU.
YOU ARE HANDSOME, KIND,GENTLE AND CARING.EACH DAY,MY LOVE FOR YOU GROWS STRONGER,AND I CAN'T IMAGINED A DAY WITHOUT YOU I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL AS YOU MAKE ME FEEL
THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.
WITH LOVE ALWAYS
❤️ brenda❤️
As an INFP , you need to grow your communication skills 😅 'cause you are in deep when an ENFJ loves you. 😮🎉😊
If an Enfj Like you. Consider yourself a lucky person :)
Why?
Because being an infj is hard 😭
INTJ here. For me, It’s difficult to know when an ENFJ likes me because you guys can be so obvious, it’s hard to believe. I like to analyze and find deeper meaning behind others actions and why they do the things they do, but ENFP can be so bold in their actions, that I end up overanalyzing or second guessing myself. It’s like watching someone get robbed in broad day light, you’re like “am I seeing this right? Is he robbing that guy 2:30 p.m. on a Saturday in a mall? This can’t be right. Who could be so bold?”
Lmao!!! So true.. I mean isn’t the goal to let someone know you like them?? I have been accused by INxx guys in particular of liking them a lot when I didn’t they much because they are used to looking into deeper meaning. As an Fe dom, I want the people I like to know so we can begin connecting lmao
Very true. It’s because when we know, we know. And it doesn’t happen often for us ENFJ’s. So we jump on it! 😬
@Bancho Unfortunately no one once moved to friend zone gets moved out. We know almost immediately if we like someone in a relationship Capacity or not. And nothing really can change us from that
@@sub.sa.3058 I totally get that. But ENFJ’s just have to feel useful and needed to those around them. Oh I’d love to chat more
@@sub.sa.3058 woah I can relate to what you said (infp here). I only show my fi-ne side only when I'm comfortable with someone. I think it kinda comes out naturally. If I force it, it can drain me or make me feel like im not being true to myself.
As an ENFP who has a huge crush on an ENFJ who I suspect likes me too, this was a RIDICULOUSLY HUGE AND AMAZINGLY informative video. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thanks for watching! I hope this helps you. if you are an ENFP, you might be confusing the ENFJ so don't be shy to just let them know how you feel!!
sameeeeeee.
I'm ENFP either. I fell in love with an ENFJ but I can get if she likes me or not. I think not bc she kinda doesn't feel or understand what I feel. It's like an ignorance. I'm in trouble
JTCircus here’s hoping you don’t finally get what you want(a relationship) and then become bored and move on
*enfps like to do that to me, romantically or friendship wise*
Adilkhan Mazhit she will likely try to hide her feelings if she does not know yours, and if she is in love with you, she will be blushy and act differently around you. Some of us are more skilled at surpressing it, but we just hate rejection. Ask her out. Make your intentions clear.
Thank you for this video Meghan. As an INFP, what you said about our type getting stuck in conversations is so true! I'm standing there listening politely, and it can be hard to break it off. As for ENFJ liking me, it's really good to know this. I can definitely see the appeal in them.
As an ENFJ it's really obvious when we like you, we will make it very clear. However being nice has lead girls in the past thinking that I'm into them.. but if we are into you, you will know it.
Enjoyed the video! Thank you.
*INFJ* I dated an ENFJ and your thoughts were pretty much my experience. We got to know each other long enough to know we liked each other. She was straightforward and pulled me out of my shell, haha.
Man I wish I had seen this video last fall. Currently dating an ENFJ. I'm an INFJ. But trying to read him early on was a struggle because he liked me but wasn't sure he wanted to date anyone at the time. So he was giving those mixed signals you were talking about. He would ask me all kinds of questions and go out of his way for me but would totally play dumb to my advances. As an INFJ who is always trying to figure people out this was maddening! Finally after about a month I just confronted him about it. He tried to deny it at first but finally admitted his feelings for me as well. We've been dating ever since.
Interesting. I’m an INFJ man interested in an ENFJ. I feel like we both like each other as in we consider the other to be a good person, but I can’t tell at all yet if she’s interested in me like she wants to date. She said she likes to take things really slowly in dating and make sure we can be friends first. I’m fine with that, but at the same time I want to try to predict if things are going well. I’ve seen a lot about how ENFJs make it super obvious if they like you, but don’t feel that yet. It’s still kinda early though. I wonder how that compares to your experience?
That was awesome to watch thanks. I am an INFP and have recently actually gotten to know an ENJF friend. I couldn't agree more, it took him 1 day to tell me straight up several times a day and in a sweet, nice but aggressive way that like he likes me. He is open, honest and super warm about it. He doesn't hide it. He was just straight forward with it. It took him 2 days to tell me that his heart beats for me 😍. We are not yet in a relationship, but he is very open with the idea that is where he wants it to go. As an INFP I love that. He wants to speak with me, and spend time with me all the time. Goes out his way to make that happen. After coming out of a relationship with an INFJ a few months ago (which was a absolute mess), I am finding all of this a breath of fresh air. I must also say that there is a very strong and natural chemistry between us, which has been incredible to experience.
I realized that I never shared my thoughts on "how to know if an enfj has gotten to the point where they're in love with you." Another video!
Meghan LeVota well could you do a video about telling if a enfj has falling in love with someone soon?. likes you as a crush is different then love.
If I love you I'll just tell you.
I have a huge crush on an ENFJ I work with. I'm an INFJ (although I've typed as an INFP once). Every time I talk to her, it feels like I've never been so free to be myself. Something about her is just so easy to talk to. I am over 50% convinced she likes me back. She got a lot of the “tells”-she laughs at my jokes, she is comfortable getting close and bumping up next to me even if not necessary, she holds really good eye contact. Honestly, it's a dream, and if I weren't so damn insecure I'd think the chances were even better. I asked her out last week, and she said no because she just went out with someone else and doesn't want to lead either of us on. She wants to see if that will go anywhere first. It's crushing my chest. It's ridiculous to feel this way about someone I've known less than a month, but she's the first person I've known in twenty-eight years around whom I feel no need for pretense and even feel encouraged to open up. She's absolutely everything I've been hoping for in a partner, but she asked me to give her two weeks to see what will happen with the other man before I ask her out again. It's been the longest five days in waking memory so far.
where's the link? can't find it :(
I feel a series on this would be sweet. Types I'm curious about in this regard are infj/ intj/enfp/esfp, and intp. It would be interesting to see a series on how they are in various connections platonic and otherwise.
This was awesome! Very enlightening and funny at times. Thank you Meghan. You are so good at this. INTJ here and I adore you ENFJs.
Also You’re really pretty. Just wanted to
Say that ❤️
the feeling when you are in the ranks of the thick headed introverts lol. "Does he like me? He always texts me.. HE MUST BE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP."
As an ENFJ, it's very true that I only ever liked people I have a close bond and connection with whom I know deeply. I can't imagine liking someone whom I don't really know well. So if we are not that close, I probably haven't considered you in the romantic aspect. I also agree that if I like you, I talk to you really often and will express my love in many ways. I am a doer and I am rarely passive. Things almost always transform from thoughts to actions. :)) I also really agree that love comes later. It develops and grows. It's a process. And yes, I also have the tendency to weave myself into the lives of the people I want to keep in my life. XD As I said, I am a doer. xD I don't wait for fate or something to bring us together. I exert efforts for them to be in my life and vice versa. :3 Then it's up to them if they either respond positively or not about that initiative~ ^^ I also super agree with going out of my way!!! ^^ And it's super true that it's so hard to hold back!!! >///< Everything is bursting and overflowing!!! >//
I'm an ISTJ, as you probably know by now, and this video is kind of interesting, because you unintentionally described my ENFJ girlfriend's way of expressing that she loves me AFTER we've been dating, but how my INFJ friend has always expressed how she likes me as a friend, and how I, not being an Intuitive, didn't pick up on the signs until it was too late. Thankfully, we've gotten past that awkwardness, and things are way better.
In case people are wondering how ISTJs show that they love someone, since ISTJs don't seem to be too popular with you.... I'll sum it up in one sentence: "Not with their words or facial expressions." We're likely going to show an intense focus on one person in stepping out of our comfort zone in one way or another, followed by something similar to "I don't normally do this for other people," and that very act of vulnerability, because it's so reserved, indicates a special place in that ISTJ's heart (literally, because that's where it's felt).
The small talk point had me laughing at its main truth
As an INTP, I also don't like small talk outside of trying to find common ground with someone I don't know. I usually ask about movies, music, and book tastes to get the ball rolling, so I think we're similar in that respect. I think your "approach" to examining a potential mate is also similar to mine in that you examine all the factors you can before pursuing a relationship. I think the key difference here is that I am not going to be inclined to make the first move because it will be awkward and feel presumptuous. I'd rather have the other person approach me so that I can respond in the affirmative without feeling like I'm at risk of embarrassing myself if she were to turn me down and that hurts badly enough that I prefer to avoid it.If you like an introvert, they likely just want you to come out and say it because they prefer not to put themselves on the line in case they're wrong.
Dang this helped me out so much. I have been called a homey hopper in the past because I had crushes on girls and when they rejected me I'd move to their friends or other girls in my immediate circle and have crushes on them. The girls who called me a homey hopper believed that crushes should be on people you just meet, but to me I never had a crush on anybody who I wasn't friends with first.
When I like someone, I become more introverted and focus more on my emotions than on other people's emotions. I also get excited at first, and then I get shy and aloof from that person. I like to observe them and gather information about them. I try to be close, but not too close until I'm 100% sure. And I'm never 100% sure. I like to like people, and romantic relationships sometimes get in the way of that.
As an INFP, I believe I've only met a handful of ENFJ females. only one for sure, it was revelatory actually knowing that is my type of Extravert for sure. the problem is I dont get out much to interact with people as so meeting new people is very difficult.
so accurate
Hi Meghan😆 It's funny, when you said that you don't want to undermine an introverts intelligence by not coming outright and telling them that you like them-I, as an INFJ LOVE(I'll say it again)LOVE it when I'm told about someone's affection. Sure, there's a chance that I may not feel the same way, lol, but still-its an awesome feeling. I wouldn't at all feel like my intelligence is being undermined. But I'm also a different kind of INFJ, I'm very aggressive. I usually have to work hard to tone myself down lol. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, lol but THANK YOU for taking the time out to make these vids. I'm currently in like with my male enfj co-worker who does majority of what you mentioned here. You shed a lot of light on the situation. Much love lady😆
As an ENFJ myself I can 100% relate
(INFP) Sooo different. How can you hurt that guy at the bar's feelings so much like that! I treat strangers best because I don't know what they can take yet. :)
Young inmature ENFJs can get I love by imagining that a person is nice based on very little. I used to be like that. I also need to add that you might like someone but think that you have no chance, or you think you have tried and didn't get a good response. You will be looking for the person only if you are actually trying.
Very true!!
13:29 - 13:43 *YES. Y E S.*
As an enfj i can relate to this 100%
Care. You said it better with the curiosity.
Wanting to truly get to know someone for Real!
aspie infp... i don't get social cues.. 20 minutes in.. instantly dead inside.
7:05 Omg the whole part about liking someone who was around and convenient... thats me on a coworker
It seems so exhausting as an infp trying to keep up with everything. Maybe I’m just not ready to be with someone? What do you think?
nooooooo don't say that :( you are perfect just the way you are! it's just a matter of getting over your own fear and speaking your truth! you can do it. but remember, you don't have to settle!! you can still be picky.
Great vid. The sentence" 12:00 you can tell if they want to be your friend or want something more is obvious. " Not so obvious. The coffee example I would do all the time to everyone. EnFJ is difficult to read as I would go out of my way for everyone.
19:29 Hehe, about the "being more direct" part, I can just imagine...
"do you need this chai-"
"do you not see I'm talking to my friend rn? ok nice to meet you bye"
(jk, i got what you meant)
I am an INFP, my other half is an INFJ, however, I finally came to the realization that I resonate most with ENFJ...
I got ghosted by an ENFJ dude out of nowhere! Everything was amazing and we were having such wonderful conversations, and then it just started slowing down, and now he straight up does not talk to me. So unexpected and crappy
I did too as an enfj girl 😂😂 but to be honest people can have bad experiences and have different attachment styles I was very coutious and maybe he felt played. You never know what's going on in someone's life. Don't take it personally 🤗. I've been probably gohsted by every type by now since it seems normal nowadays 😢.
What is your personality type?
I love enfj's a lot
This was a fantastically informative video, loved the content.
But I had to say an amusing thought that I had.
You say like a lot in your ordinary sentances, outside of specifically talking about liking someone.
So could you imagine if I did a drinking game for each time you say like hahahahaaaa
I'd be fuuuucked after this video hahaha
ENFJ here, I love the shape of your upper lip. Oh, and I've enjoyed the Vid, keep it up fellow emotionsonar. ;)
I once flirted with an INFJ as an experiment, i thought maybe it could lead somewhere 😂😂😂 he was SO thick skulled! He picked up on nothing. Spot on. His brother picked up immediately, but I just stopped trying because I didn’t want to tell him I liked him or ruin a friendship. Thank God I did not kiss him. I almost did when I was extremely tired, but I was like NOPE. Logic kicked in and I realized I didn’t really like him that much.
Very very true most of this, as an enfj I agree with how we tend to act. We sound really seductive lmao
i'm an INTJ & i feel EXACTLY the same way about ALWAYS being the one to make the 1st move, invite friends out, initiate contact & so on & i really want someone to do that for me first too, to show me i mean something to them & i'm having this same issue with my male ENFJ best friend, we're having issues now & i'm the one who said let;s meet & talk-twice already!i KNOW he has a mad crush on me (& i do too as annoying as that is!) so i don't get why he's being so difficult & i just wanna smash his head like a watermelon & at the same time love him with all my heart....i just need to do SOMETHING to get shit out of him AAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, my name is Ryder, and I've seen several of your videos and I'm an enfp. I know you've had slot of experiences with enfps, but straight to the point. I have a friend whose an ENFJ, and I've seen your videos on "how to know if an enfj likes you. " And, I mean, I've known her for 2 months now and we do talk alot. Text, hang out, I took her to her first bar, we had like a 70s holding the hand while skating moment, etc. And she's been nurturing to me, I'm a smoker and she's been wanting to monitor my smoking, help me quit, made a plan for me to quit, she's sat with me while I smoke, just the two of us even though she doesn't smoke. We've seen a movie together, we're going next week to see an anime movie, but she's never seen anime and she is willing to go see it with me. And I'm an MMA fighter and she wants to go to the gym with me to train, go on a picnic to together, go swimming, sky diving(even though she's scared of heights), etc. We talked about doing slot of things. I don't know, I'm sure you know, ENFPs, or maybe just me, can be very blind to see the signs, or maybe like you said, "making assumptions" but I've been holding that back because I really like this girl. Ifyou have the time, maybe get back to me. Pleases and thank yous.
You nailed it Meghan💯 perfect explanation of ENFJ personality type
this is great :) I really like your attitude towards people. I really struggle in getting to know someone I want to get to know.
I would agree that enfj doesn't like small talk 😊
As an ENFJ, an example of when I went above and beyond to show someone I liked them was planning out a bunch of stuff to do for their birthday (and I got them a cute inside joke gift)
I’m glad I stumbled across this video! I became good friends with an enfj last year and it went from “oh this person just wants to be good friends,” to “woah I think this person likes me,” real quick 😂. I was often confused as to why the friend would constantly refer to me as his girlfriend to our friends and do other insane stuff. But he wouldnt ask me out, so I got tired of it and told him I liked him, but he didn’t reciprocate my feelings.
He told me he just wanted to me friends, he didn’t see me that way, but he valued my friendship and we should be “normal” friends. But we haven’t been normal since 🙄😢. It’s been months and I waited for him to contact me but he never did...so again this time I reached out to him as a friend, something simple. Now he texts me first again slowly. I really couldn’t figure out where his head is if he’s such an intentional person. I think this helped me pick him brain a bit without having to ask 😂. So thank you.
13:45 ..very familiar..you ask them a couple of questions as you like them and eventually want them to be your friend and they don't give a shit to ask you something in a return as first...always such a "lovely" situation. Also, don't want to sound that I am pushing too much but that's my friendliness and I must control it.
Pfff, just ask... Or don't, I'll tell you within five minutes -_-
Exactly!! haha.
Apparently I'm an ENFP now. But I used to be an ENFJ when I discovered the MBTI some years ago. Interesting change.
Ikr
You're a guy.
I dated to my ex before, and yes, I was the one who did a first move. Asked him to meet me, and he knows that I loved him. As an ENFJ, I never ask someone who I don't love to go out together just me and him. So if ENFJ do that, it must be they love you.
ENFJ's are so cute.
Nope, you’re the cute person here :’)
-Enfj
Have a great day ✨
@@Maryam-cy6xn Im an INFJ so I get drawn to the ENFJ's expressive extroverted personality
@@ALEN1ful I have two Infjs friends, and one is close to me, she gets me, and we both care and appreciate each other in the same amount,
It’s great to have kind cute Infjs in the world✨😾🤍
We appreciate your kindness
I've been mistaken as flirting with people for trying to get to know them and having them open up, so I learned to clearly establish that im not flirting and you would know if i am!
I'm a diehard romantic and will tell them i like them AFTER i know forsure I like them. I can be distant if I'm unsure of my own feelings, or if that person is stringing me along. My tell tale flirtation is using inside jokes with a dash of complimenting or I'm doing a caring act that is specific to that person
Thank you for this video, it's very helpful since I have a lot of ENFJs in my life.
infps have an enfj shadow, and enfjs have an infp shadow, aside from infjs this is quite the spiritual union.
Lady im an enfj ive watched a lit of ur videos... U totally get me
Can you make a video about the “push/ pull games “ the ENFJ’s play in the beginning stages of a relationships? (I think that relates to the “victim” romance style in Socionics)
Hey Meghan, love your videos. I'm an INFP and friends with an ENFJ that I'm starting to fall for but it seems like it's clear that I've been put into the friendzone. You've described that ENFJ are inclined to put people in certain boxes like "friends" and "people I flirt with" and "relationship worthy". How inclined are you as an ENFJ to change the position of a friend to a possible relationship in the future? What would be the criteria for some change like this to happen to you? Thanks in advance ;)
Same situation, same question
As an ENFJ, as soon as i placed someone in a box, its a definite box, if i concider you as a friend only, you will remain a friend for us. If i liked you, you would know it forsure.
I think the box is only changeable by a situation. So you haven't seen eachother for a while and have changed and they can see you with new eyes. Or you got to know each other while one of you was in a relationship so that was an obvious friend box and now you are both single and you also behave that way (flirty, "showing your market value") they can see you now in one of the other boxes. The best position is if you have always been the flirty friend so there was always tension or room for more. It can develop in a more sturdy friendship by deciding you are not for eachother or can be seen as more by showing more efford and attention.
I'm an ENFJ-T, and I like a ISFP. But I'm to shy to outwardly say "I like you" because I'm afraid of scaring him off. Ive been going slow asking for info. I have never been straight forward when i have a crush. I blush, get awkward n quiet a bit, but not fully quiet. Heart races and my brain goes in overload
I meet someone whos an enfj he was extremely nice listen to me very closely but he seemed flirty with other girls idk if he actually liked me or not 😔...im infp...he did tell me i seem very genuine
So I hang out with this enfj guy in his place. We had a good conversation. He winked at me a couple of times, prepared me food and stuff. He puts my legs into his lap in the middle of us drinking and I allowed his to put on mine eventually. We had a light conversation if he likes me or not, he said yes and I said I like him too.
But what baffles me is he never asked me a single question about me during our conversation. We hang out in his place for 10 hrs. Maybe my body language tells him that I'm guarded? I dunno.
Wow to wanting to live in the same town for you entire life it would have to really make you feel good and have much going on to make me want to be in one place for life!!
How do you properly flirt with a EnFJ? And do they like it if we go out of our way for them?
Yep we like it. But if we like someone, they would know.
As an INFP, paticularily when I was a teenager and young adult I did get to have a few Meet Cutes with people who I got along with very well. I don't know if they where ENFJ, maybe a few of them where. I suppose my ideal instance would be to meet her and end up talking for a few hours, I suppose I would be lucky if I found someone and we had to remain in the same orbit regardless of our circumstances.
Well.. hes definitely in love with me lol I’m an INFJ and we’re like 2 pees in a pod, he lays on my lap and embraces me like nobody I’ve ever known lol
I'm friends with an ENFJ. So... His actions show he's like so ok with me liking him. But he never told me anything specific. 🥲 He noticed I liked him and one time I was complaining. He asked me directly if I was jealous and I just had to admit it I can't lie to him, he always knows if there's something wrong even when I don't say anything. 😂 He seemed happy when he confirmed I like him. I thought he didn't get it because he acted as if it's not a big deal. He schedules time to call me. He plays guitar and sings for me. He does this only for me... But he is loving and kind to everyone so idk if this is special. Like seriously! ENFJs are very kind to everyone so it's difficult to assume. 😭 I never asked him what he feels about me, because I don't wanna be hurt. 😂 He told me he's thankful he met me and that he's always willing to listen to me, even if I only tell him boring little details of my day. He always tries to make me feel better and he's just so kind and patient. I'm honestly very happy just for his existence in my life. But he still haven't said anything. 🥲
I think he likes you and the whole schedule time thing... we don't do that for other people who we don't enjoy our time with. Any updates on this ? Lol
I'm an ENFJ too and this is SOOO TRUE
So good!!
Is it possible an enfj immediately likes someone? I’m an isfp and i was just suspicious of someone when they suddenly confessed their feelings
even that i am ENFJ and i am reading people like a book i mean i like to walk in peoples mind and explore it, but i am not sure if this ability would work with an ENFJ
I tried it lol i am an ENFJ-A and my roomate is an ENFJ-T, we live in the same basement for 7 months now, we are same age (25). However we are complete opposite, he is not organized, selfish and doesn’t concider other people and expect everyone to coordinate their life to his. I recently got angry with him. He is not able to read me I can tell, but I am able to read him. I guess ENFJ-A can read other ENFJ-T. I haven’t met any ENFJ-A tho, i know what kind of feeling i give to people and can read people easily. I haven’t met anyone who can read me yet i don’t think this will happen, but i believe we can find someone who understands us.
@@javinx21 am ENFJ-A as well, i have a partner who is ENFJ-T, i must say that i have the same struggles, I've heard that ENFJ-T are used to be ISTP-like or in ISTP subsconcious, as you know ISTPs get a bad rap sometimes for being ‘lazy’ or taking shortcuts in life. They’re seen as rule-breakers, rebels, and anti-authoritarian anarchists
@@stoicstoic1250 now that you say it yeah, i guess you are right he may have been an ISTP before. And trust me when i tell you, i do not get angry easily, but his behaviors are the opposite of my morals. I hope your partner and you are doing okay 👌🏿 rn i’m still concentratingon myself, ENFJ can improve enormously when we focus on ourselves, until i am able to find someone that can understand our complex personalities.
@@javinx21 ughhh srsly we ar not doing okay, as an ENFJ -A i tend to transfer feeling to Express myself, once i feel like he is not analysing them on a proper why, i get annoyed, but i am always looking at the bright side
yeah ENFJ's can improve themselves, and i think we don't have to push on them to make it happen because it well just happen
@@stoicstoic1250 forsure i understand you. And trust me i feel you in a deep level lol, it’s crazy how we are all similar. And it’s a fact that we always take the best decisions for the community and us.
Yes please a little bit closer now.
Im sorry. I don’t fall in love quickly at all. I have had two electric encounters and it was unlike any other encounter in my life. I pursued and it was a very satisfying relationship while it lasted and very hard when it ended. I ended both of those but my heart was hard to move on. We look for something rare for relationships and most people dont have it. We might flirt etc but overall, we are not too casual because we care too much but lock down our hearts
very helpful! thank you
I am very much an ENFJ. With a pretty strong Ti tho. But to say we don't do love at first sight 😂😂. That's just something people experience fysically that's not only for infp's or enfp's and yes I do fantasize and no I don't have the balls to start a conversation or ask someone out as I have fear of rejection which is pretty normal for a eanagram type 2. But how I deal with it is pretty similar to what is described. I will make myself noticable make it easy for the person to talk to me and then I really want to get to know the person even tho I feel butterflies I really need to know it is mutual and if we are a good match mostly if the talking feels natural and the person is actually nice, if they have things in common (morals, lifegoals or life visions) and if they could be a good partner in time and attention. I am pretty flirty and maybe act like it's not purposefull because I rather have the other to express their feelings first to feel safe especially when I am not sure if it's a right choice to actually date. Than I really want to be convinced by someone's efford and persuing. Not saying this is a good thing.. I think being able to express your feelings and ask people out will get you further. Just saying not all ENFJ's are the approaching type.
You are really cool! Thanks!
Look I know this is old but as an INFJ please please tell me how feel even as any personality type it always feels good to be loved! But seriously if your an enfj please please reach out to someone you think is introverted because we hate making the first move!!!!
INTJ here and I’m so confused idk if he likes me or not 🤣 he seems complicated
Trust me ENFJ would tell you if they really liked you
If an enfj likes you and your not aware you shouldn't be allowed to drive
I’m an 28 infp male, I met an 31 enfj girl and are instantly attracted by her passion and energy, I can’t help my self but express my feelings towards her. we’ve only know each other for a month or more and we’ve already shared our deepest secrets and went out a few times. From the first date she always walks in front of me and now we just constantly brush shoulders whenever we walk along each other. She have been through some tough relationships ending up in her boyfriend cheating, and have some health conditions one time when I try to flirt too hard she told me she likes to be friends with me and are not looking for a romantic relationship but when I asked her if she are closing the romantic door against me she said she won’t eliminate all possibilities, I wonder if she have feelings for me and just wants to know me more and observe me before entering a romantic relationship(her fastest boyfriend has known her for 4 months), or is she really only trying to be a friend?
As a ENFJ-T with emotional love issues over the years and trauma, this usually makes us heavily guarded to wanting to be in a relationship. BUT, we DO want a relationship. It's just hard to move forward. And we want to get to know a person well enough first to know we aren't gonna be hurt again after that point. I'm personally having my own shyness in telling a suspected ISFP I like him. It's hard for me to say cause of past issues with love life. Plus he is very aloof but I have many suspicions he likes me too. Just hard cause he is a action kind of guy over words. But he flirts. And ppl have said he treats me differently from others. And even if he is offline for months, when he is online, he spends hours talking to me. Then poofs again. Yea it's frustrating cause I want communication more often but I'm smitten with him. Can't help it.
Tip: Don't be disheartened and give up. Really start just being a friend and talking to her regularly. Overtime she may feel comfortable enough to start dating you. And even when we aren't dating yet, we appreciate knowing someone likes us. ❤ Some introverts never say it out loud. Like the guy I like. Lol
You will know when she really likes you and is beginning to think romantically because she will start to get a little shy. It's a emotional overload. But she will pay full attention to you, asking questions, ect
@@XxBrittany20xX thanks for the information, she is an ENFJ-T too, so being shy will be a good sign that she's thinking romantically ? have you guys dated yet? how about physical touches like brushing shoulders when walking together, does enfj girls do this to all close male friends?
@@chityanli2948 shyness in any degree and especially blushing is what u need to look for. Once she starts doing that, you'll know she is starting to develop romantic thoughts for sure. Until then, she may be hiding her attraction romantically with you. (With romance, if we have experienced trauma, our introverted function kicks in for protection) If she is brushing up against close to you, she might be doing it on purpose to feel closer to u. Which is a good sign. That is the start mindset to romance. So the fact she is brushing shoulders, may be a start of feelings, but i wouldnt jump the gun yet. (Brushing shoulders and walking beside u is also a way of saying "I'm trying to get to know you and be on ur wavelength. It's a sign of closeness) We take awhile to read since we generally are kind to anyone we meet and when the introverted side kicks in, makes it a little harder to read us also because we have gone through so much emotional trauma. It's a defence mechanism to attempt blocking off romance to protect our fragile heart/feelings. But of course because of our nature, eventually we cave. I finally just left a message to the guy I like online and he hasn't responded yet which feels like I'm dying a slow death of embrassment. (Since he is a ISFP, it may take awhile til he shows up) If he doesn't reciprocate, that's fine. I can get over it. But I feel better at least finally saying something. I need confirmation from him to know If I should move on with my feelings or not. Tho I do have a high intuitive feeling he likes me too. I told him I'm not interested in dating rn either as I'm in my comfort zone and not ready to make leaps due to my trauma also. But I DID finally get the courage to admit to myself and him I like him romantically. The girl u like may act the same overtime. Which is why I say to be patient. Just being there and giving support will eventually make her wanna come forward. (The guy i like has listened to me and just him doing that finally made me wanna admit i like him) But don't be to strong in your forwardness romantically either for now as u get close to her. It will push back her progress wanting to say anything about her liking u. It's like a deer caught in the headlights. I know, I've had a couple guys in the past year do this to me and it scared me. So just try to remain supportive and be there when she needs a ear. The patience will pay off.
My ENFJ gone quiet for 2 days. Should I reach out or wait for him to contact me? Do they need time out or not interested in me?
2:37 starts
so there's really no way to tell
The only way to know for SURE if anyone likes you is to ask! But for ENFJs, they can be pretty obvious by trying to be around you and get to know you.
Spot on!!!
I guess its a no then lol
I have a huge question. Your main point is that if they aren't trying to spend time with you and getting to know you and openly showing there interest then they probably don't like you in a crush sort of way. There has been big instances of her trying to help me out like one time my mother was too drunk to pick me up so she said at like 10pm she'd pick me up and take me home (we're younger so she'd even have to get her parents) but besides the couple big ones she literally never texts me outside of school, and doesn't show interest, but when I engage first she flips. We have a period together and whether we talk at school, on the phone, facetime, when I get her going and go beyond small talk she's fully engaged trying to help me out and is interested in the conversation, she just never engages first. I don't know if that's a good sign since they're friendly to everyone, it's DEFINITELY more friendly than the average Joe, which is why I'm so confused. She laughs at everything I say, engaged in our conversations the whole 9 yards but only when I engage first, what does that mean?
SleepyPanda It’s probably because she wants the feeling of being pursued. I try not to be too pushy/forward with a guy because I don’t want to take the pursuit from him. But, the tricky part is, she might be very awkward around people she likes, or just sees as a friend, if the DTR hasn’t happened yet. I find it difficult to engage with guys that I see potential in, and are single, and a good friend. So sometimes I hold back until I know that he has some type of interest in me. If he doesn’t make things clear, I will eventually grow frustrated and jump the gun, demanding clarity. There’s very little middle grounds for me. I’m either very shy and awkward about it, or very blunt and antsy.
ENFJ would tell you if they liked you
Falls quickly
NFP will dream about you
Logistics
Asks questions about you
14:09 lol true
How can a person “like” everyone? -INFJ
Needing help about something
How much does looks, weight, matter to a ENFJ man? I know this might sound surface level question, but I was wondering about how much does that calculate when getting interested into someone? And thank u so much for making these videos :)
As a ENFJ-T myself, the appearance don't matter. Though don't get the wrong idea, we like a guy/girl to be well groomed. We like to see the person for who they are first as a person. Appearance is affected also by personality. Hopefully this answered ur question.
Where does teasing fit in, if at all? There's someone whom I think is an ENFJ that I don't really know well but we work together, and kind of out of the blue she started teasing me...and now we go back and forth teasing each other. There's more I could write, but I will spare you/everyone, lol. I just want to know any ENFJ's thoughts on when/why they initiate teasing, especially when you're not friends already. And no, she doesn't really seem to do this with anyone else.
musicalone8123 As an ENFJ(P), I definitely tease a person I like, honestly I don’t know why. I just want them to know I like them but I don’t want to be the first to say it and possibly get rejected. So I tease in a flirty way sometimes, just to read their response. If they start opening up to me more, and teasing back, or blushing, then I know I’m on good grounds. If that person fake laughs and changes the subject, or leaves suddenly, then I will probably never tease them again and leave them all the way alone. So I guess it’s all about reading the response of that person 🤷🏽♀️
I have watched three of your videos and I'm observing that you haven't mentioned INFJ?
Yay! Thanks
Hope it was helpful! i'd be happy to help w/ any other questions