Neither “boyfriend air” or “girlfriend air” is solely positive or negative. Women help men realize they should value how they look, and men help women realize their looks aren’t the only thing of value.
That's pretty ironic and a bit of an oxymoron though lol. One's helping value their looks whilst the other is telling women looks aren't everything.. lol. May not be to him, but it sure is to her.
@nukiesduke6868 it's finding the balance, not focusing too much on looks while also focusing enough to look presentable. Men and women compliment each other that's how God made us
That's why men do so much better in a relationship when it comes to not needing external validation or attention. You just saying you want to be with us is a shot in the arm to our existence. A genuine compliment with reciprocity about our polo or maybe some sort of thing we did will last us for weeks since we all remember the five compliments we randomly got in public since we were born. A lot of women on the other hand seem to feel like they are dying on the inside when they don't get external attention. The women in the one clip even says as much. There has be a balance somewhere.
@terminator_x.24 Sure, if the guy had self worth issues to begin with thete is a 2 to 300 % jump. But men who find their worth within vs from other people...that jump is negligible.
My boyfriend saved my life when it comes to how I look and dress. When I got with my bf, over a time period of like a year, I lost 30 pounds, stopped dyeing my hair and shaving the sides, took out most of my piercings and my gauges, and stopped dressing like a male adolescent anime character. I take him shopping with me every time I buy new clothes and I've never felt more beautiful. The well-dressed conservative man influence is so real.
One coworker I had really wasn't taking care of himself. Cargo shorts and a t-shirt every day, barely wore deodorant,wasn't keeping hair and beard groomed was clearly depressed and irritable. He was about 30. He got a love interest and suddenly that man started lookin sharp. He's married now and he's kept on dressing nice and it's been some years. He seems so much happier. She works there now too and she's a really cool chick. I'm happy for them.
@@saulgoodman2018😂😂😂 she done woke up the men who keep dick sport goods profitable. How dare you insult these classy gentlemen. I bid you a good day young lady. 😂
When a woman treats you right and she says "I like when you do this" we tend to cater to her. Plus if it gets us compliments we would gladly change things
I told my man, "You know that blue shirt we thrifted together? Wear that more often 'cuz you look fucking hot in it. Either formal pants or your grey sweatpants with it would make you look even hotter, although I prefer the formal pants, especially the beige one." He wore the blue shirt and the beige formal pants on the day he proposed to me. I was simping over him the entire day. When I want him to wear something (usually because he looks like a whole damn excellent delicacy steak in it), I just tell him he looks hot in it and he'll wear it within a few days.
I think the girlfriend effect is usually more positive bc men take criticism, especially constructive criticism, better than women usually. Where as with boyfriend air, women get comfortable bc they have a man so they don't have to impress the general public anymore. And men compliment their girl so it reinforces the comfort. But the extreme is getting too comfortable and we know what happens after that. Key point is to always work towards constantly improving for yourself and for each other so you both win in the end.
My boyfriend effect was actually positive lol. I lost weight (I was fat) and I started wearing the pretty clothes I always wanted to wear. He was happy to encourage me to continue going to the gym (I wanted this) and he always complimented me whenever I wore the dresses and skirts that the grown adults in my life growing up always had something negative to pick out about them. My bf saw the potential in me lol
I feel like that's what would happen to the majority of big women if they just stopped resisting and just got a boyfriend that'll help them go to the gym and be their gym partner.
W bro that's how it should be tho everything my girl wears I think she looks perfect and beautiful asf In and she wants to loose weight and me anyways who does go to the gym asked her come with me so now she does and she thanked me for actually giving her the confidence to go and make her comfortable there so she always says thank you but either way I loved her I loved her when she was big I love her the way she is now I didn't care too much because to me she is just perfect
@@Jane-ow7sr I think there is a statistical anomaly where women tend to "let themselves go" quicker than men when getting into a serious relationship, whereas for men it's usually the opposite (at first) where they "become a better man" after getting into one themselves. I think it comes from the fact that for a lot of women these days trying to maintain peak physical health can be a mental strain, and by getting into a serious relationship they've essentially "settled down" and feel they don't have to try as much. However like I said, men seem to want to "prove" to their partner that they were a good choice, and thus try harder. This is why divorced men have higher rates of remarrying, because often times they leave those relationships better off compared to divorced women. Alot of it also has to do with when men & women are in their physical prime too, of course. Edit: didn't get to the 'boyfriend effect' segment before commenting, but yeah it's that but scaled up with the age and maturity of the relationship.
My wife used to have problems with her skin, leading her into a vicious cycle of putting on more makeup. I encouraged her to try to go more natural, and sure enough, her skin cleared up after a while. I'm convinced that makeup has poison in it to create a vicious cycle of insecurity.
Maybe some of it does? I will die on the Clinique hill. I’ve never met someone who’s had a bad reaction to it. I’ve used the 3-step skin care since I was 13 and I’ve used their foundation since 14. But there’s two things I’ve noticed lead to breakouts for me personally. One is not washing the makeup off all the way. Leftover makeup clogs your pores and leads to breakouts. The other is nasty makeup brushes. If you don’t clean your brushes enough, then any dead skin/bacteria/leftover makeup in the brushes goes right back on your skin. All skin types are different, but hopefully this helps
Followed presently by the diminishing of the sex drive. If both of you give up trying for that bf/gf energy it will eventually inevitably lead to attraction dying too, and the sex drive with it.
@@Farmnflyin @DuncanClair no, marriage isn't the catalyst. It's when both people stop investing in the relationship, in each other. The pursuit stops. The value and appreciation stops. Since people don't know how long they have with their loved ones in this life, taking anyone for granted is a very idiotic mentality.
My parents are the same way lol. My dad is the kinda guy that wears ancient clothing with gaping holes in them out of the house, and my mom is the type to consider blouses, skirts, and slacks as “casual”. Two such wildly different people, yet they’re just as wildly happy with each other
I started dressing so much nicer and more feminine ever since I started dating my husband a couple years ago. Not because he made me feel like I should, he will literally say I’m beautiful after crawling out of a sewer, but because I feel safe and confident enough to wear things that are fun and that don’t hide who I am. And personally I like making an effort to look beautiful around him
Girl same! When I met my husband I started to invest more on enhancing my natural feminine features. Now even with kids and my body has morphed throughout the years, I still stay relatively the same with my feminine style. It’s just become more comfy. Like I like wearing dresses like I’m a modern day mage lol He’s also gotten hotter and has invested in wearing more accessories with his outfits like shades and watches. He cleans up for me when I tell him he doesn’t have to, but hey that happens vice versa lol
Wow, women with actually healthy mindset and appreciating their boyfriends/husbands? It's something new and fresh after seeing constant hate against men in social media.
My brother's ex girlfriend had the opposite effect on him. He had longer soft wavy hair, always dressed kinda sharp and classy. Classy dress shoes, cool jeans and polo shirts, etc. Always looked more mature and clean. She gave him an ugly cut that didn't go with his features. She then insisted he had to wear ugly graphic hoodies and ugly super baggy colorful shirts. Ripped jeans. And it wasn't even a cool messy look. He looked homeless. She was kind of an e-girl. She wanted to dress him according to her own liking. He's now gone back to his old style and has been cleaning up his look. Gosh, she messed everything up.
To explain the mentality of the "girlfriend effect", it mostly comes from two factors 1. 'I don't dress nice for myself but the sake of others' 2. Generally, guys are much more confident and happy when in a relationship, confidence + happiness = better self care
The issue with "boyfriend air" is that it demonstrates the "I dress this way for me" line is a complete lie for most women. If she was making sure she was dressed to the 9s before dating you (or even early in the relationship) and is now barely taking showers, she was not dressing for herself before; she was dressing to attract you. It is a bit like the guys that workout so they can get a girlfriend only to stop once they get a girlfriend. The guys are not telling these girls not to take care of themselves and put effort into their appearance!
Personally, “I dress this way for me” only works with daringly unique and eccentric looks that go against the grain-you know others probably won’t like it, but you do, so it’s for you. Showing skin isn’t style and revealing your body isn’t “dressing for yourself” lmao it’s not even “dressing.” But showering also isn’t dressing-that’s basic hygiene. If she’s struggling with that then she might be struggling with her mental health
My mother is in her 50s, and has been married to the same man for decades and still dresses to the 9s and wears a full face of make up. Even has a whole make up vanity in a spare room where she can doll herself up in the morning. My step dad couldn't care less how she dresses and doesn't get dressed up himself unless is a special occasion. My sister is more like my mom, and I'm the opposite. I still doll myself up, but I don't do it routinely like they do. I just do it when I feel like it. So I'm content looking like a bridge troll one day and looking like a glam queen the next. 🤔😂 Point being, everyone's different, some people do seek validation and once they get it,they stop putting in the effort. But most of us really do dress the way we do for ourselves and not others. 👍
"Boyfriend effect" was the opposite for me. When I got a boyfriend, I started dressing cuter, styling my hair different, wearing a little jewelry, and in general, just started caring about how I looked. Before I met him, my normal outfit was t-shirt and jeans, tennis shoes, and a ponytail. No makeup and no jewelry. Now, though, I pair the jeans with a cute blouse, I actually style my hair, and put on some earrings and sometimes a necklace. When I'm really tired or working on something messy, I'll still go with the easy "comfort clothes", but even then, I try to pick a t-shirt that's a little more tailored than my old style. If "boyfriend effect" has a negative effect on you, maybe you should focus on playing up your natural beauty and see where that takes you. 12 pounds of makeup, fake hair, and 6 foot nails make you look really fake, not really attractive. What your boyfriend sees is that if you dropped all that nonsense and focused on doing your natural hair in ways that become you, and take care of your natural nails and skin, you would be much prettier without all that stuff.
Lol it did the opposite for me, before I got a boyfriend I dressed so tomboyish. literally not flattering at all. He asked me to wear a dress once just so he could see it and eventually he started talking me into dressing more girly. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin now and he compliments me every day and I love him for it. He brought the "beautiful girl" out in me.
My ex had such a positive boyfriend effect on me. I used to be pretty lazy when it came to dressing up and fashion. I used to be super skinny to the point that it was unhealthy. He changed that in me and I in turn made him a whole more serious about business and school. It CAN work both ways.
It's funny how we girls are claiming that it's the boyfriend's fault for our "glow downs". The boyfriend effect is our subconscious response to our increased comfort levels. The girlfriend effect is our direct influence on our boyfriend's appearance. It's our doing both of the time😂
Completely accurate, glad you get it. Women control and benefit from both. Men sort of benefit from the gf effect if they maintain the changes after breaking up.
I love that last quote, "You look better without makeup". I honestly know so many girls who what looks like pounds of make-up on when they really do look beautiful anyways. I'm not saying make-up is bad or shouldn't be used but sometimes it's a little much and it feels like natural beauty was forgotten.
Right. Even Brett can get carried away sometimes. It's really rare for it to be shown on her videos (I think her team does a good job to keep it relatively natural looking), but after viewing her posts on Instagram... yeah, she can be a little caked up sometimes when it's not for a vid
My husband has always said, “if you wear make up go for it, if you don’t, go for it. You’re beautiful no matter what.” We’ve known each other for 15 years and been married for 9
I’ve been with my bf for almost 2 years and since then I’ve completely shifted who I am, for the better! When we first met I was edging 200 lbs, my hair was super short and damaged from bleaching and dying it, I had multiple piercings, I dressed like a thot, and I wore crazy ass makeup. He got me into the gym and helped me feel worthy of being loved. I’m now down to 145-150, my hair is at my shoulders and it’s so healthy and beautiful, I removed all my piercings except my ears, and I’m typically bare faced or very natural makeup! I’ve never felt more beautiful, and I’m very proud of the progress that I’ve made! I tell him all the time that he lives up to his name, Angel 😂❤️
As someone far removed from the dating scene, it seems that the guys didn't care enough about their appearance and the girls overdid it. The relationship effect is to bring them into an equilibrium.
Right. I’m under the belief of never letting another person mold you into what they want. Why not? Because a part of them won’t respect you or trust you to make your own decisions.
@@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat Yup. Just commented this. My brother's ex did that with him. Chose his whole wardrobe (she completely f*cked up his classy style) and demanded that he did this and that. She called all the shots. We all knew she would screw everything up from the start when we noticed her bossy attitude. She's now an ex...
Meh. To me the men looked like sketches of men modelling really bland clothes that I might expect to see in a fashion magazine. The thing I noticed most clearly about the change on the men is the color in their outfit is crushed flat. Being with a woman literally makes them more conservative in dress code - no wonder mens clothing is steadily shrinking to nothing in department stores......
Yes my sentiments exactly. The women thinking they looked like sewer rats when they dropped all that fake stuff… Nah, they started looking less plastic and more like a real person. 😂 The guys started looking more approachable and less like a basement dweller. Sometimes both effects can go too far and become negative, but optimistically it brings positive balance.
I definitely had the BF effect on my husband, but long term my husband has greatly helped me with my personal style! I dressed more cute and innocent when we first met and he's helped me feel more comfortable dressing womanly. I still wear cute outfits for me often enough, but my style has greatly expanded. I get sooooo many more compliments when I wear the things he picks of buys me. His input in make and hair has been very helpful also.
I think a lot of it comes down to female competition: when a woman is single, she'll pretty herself up. She markets herself at her best. This isn't just for potential mates; she does it to outshine the competition. When a woman is in a committed relationship, her attention tends to go towards improving the guy. This is her way of elevating her status among women by having a desirable partner. Painting with a broad brush, but I think that's part of it.
And she forgets to take care of herself herself while she's taking care of her man and the kids she had so he leaves her for a younger model because she "let herself go".
@@deniseharris9320 You're going to the extreme. "No one should let themselves go" male or female. Still take care of yourself no one's saying not to, what it means is to not be a model with makeup face, fake lashes, long nails etc.... 24/7.
@jmagicd9831 well, when women work full time jobs, are responsible for the majority of all the childcare and domestic work in the house and generally (not always) don't get a lot of support from their husband who is at a statistical standing of 25% of cheating on her (compared to her 15%) and for the first time in all of human history she can look at the situation and say to herself "I'm making my own money, taking care of the kids and the house practically by myself and I don't have to stay with him after he cheated on me" it's not hard to see why 70% of women file for divorce.
A friend of mine started dating a girl and actually did tell her she should lose weight and they are married now. He told her after a few dates that she is pretty but she'd look even better if she started working out and trimmed down and that actually worked somehow.
No we don’t really care how we dress, we could wear almost anything and we wouldn’t feel embarrassed, thats just how guys are, we just don’t really care how we look 99% of the time
@johnathancooper9476 yep simple is the trick, lot of guys try to over do it when it comes to trying to impress a girl. I’m not trying to brag at all, but ‘bout a year ago I was wearing a raggedy old shirt, jeans, slides and I had long hair, and During the summer a random girl approached me at my camp and even since then we’ve been talking and have been together since july of 22 simple is just the way to go man that all you need, and again I’m not trying to brag at all, just trying to tell my story that goes along with simple stuff and not having to dress to nice just being nice and simple
Well said. Guys who are concerned with what is really important don't place a whole lot of value in superficiality. Obviously, we don't want to look and smell like a hobo either. But guys who spend a lot of time on their outward appearance are actually quite shortsighted. I learned this the hard way.
@dwt8 true that my friend Im in a small suburban area and even though I’m in a long distance relationship I see it rubbing in on me from time to time, never really realized it till now thougb
@@ulibarriL Well said from you too, no one wants to look like a hobo, but going overboard on what you look like can cloud what you think about others and make it so you see others below you, when no one is below or above you
I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and a half, so I've seen her without her makeup like a million times. She has often said that she looks like a homeless person , but I genuinely just think she's gorgeous. I still love it when she dresses up. Of course I do. But I genuinely see her as beautiful, not just the makeup.
They're quite desensitised by seeing too many gorgeous women, not knowing they also have so much care in their looks just to be on the posters. I think the same too, my partners so adorable and pretty even without it, but looks even better with just *light* makeup. But without makeup, the beauty is more authentic and warm, it's nicer. Seems like girls have less self confidence about looks than guys, blame that on the industry and media I guess. And barbie 😂
In the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend saved me from my destructive tendencies such as an eating disorder that was getting severe. I gained healthy weight and he’s been nothing but supportive of taking care of myself a being healthy.
My boyfriend and I both preferred to dress for comfort instead of looks. I used to wear a lot of makeup but honestly I wear very minimal to none now. The only time I dress up is for special occasions and it honestly means more then to the both us because I don't do it all the time. Of course take care of yourself girlies but don't be afraid to go minimalistic there's nothing wrong with it! Thanks for the wholesome video!
Girl yes! I love having a comfortable relationship. I will make up all the time and then I stopped but he likes it better when I don't even though I'm breaking out right now. I feel like as women we stopped wearing makeup and stuff like that because we've become more confident in ourselves through our relationship.
I've always been one of those minimal women. The group of women I hung around with at the time asked myself and another woman in the group why we never wore make-up and spent ages styling our hair every day. The other woman turned to me and said jokingly "Just ignore them. They're just jealous we put in way less effort and get all the compliments for looking nice when we go out and they don't because they just look the same as every other day" lol
I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. And I've never felt more beautiful than I have with him. I don't wear makeup and he makes me feel confident and reassures me that I am beautiful with no make up on. Same thing for him, he has definitely gotten better over the years. As far as his outward appearance, he knows that he is a reflection of me and man that I chose to be with.
same with me though its only been a year :3 it really seems like if your not overly concerned with your looks, the "girl friend effect" works on both sides x3
He still reassures you? So you are saying without it, you are lost on your appearance. You need to be constantly told you look a certain way to paint a picture of reality. Women and their “logic”.
As a comparatively lower maintenance girlie, I think I would get "girlfriend aired" instead of the opposite once he comes along, so it's probably just a phenomenon where the introduction of a romantic partner into your life brings out significant changes in how you feel about/carry yourself
As a guy, you are correct. We are not intentionally trying to get women to stop trying to control them. That’s awful…..and takes way too much thought 😂
I remember an ex telling me that I looked bad based on my style (or lack thereof) and it has always stuck with me to some extent. I rarely dress to impress, even now, but I never leave the house without a belt and a tucked in undershirt. I don't wear open toed shoes or sandals, no sweatpants, and I only wear hoodies when working outside on my own property. I make a point to keep my cheeks, neck, and head shaved and my beard trimmed and combed. My current partner enjoys shaping my eyebrows and I suppose I don't mind that. But I will never buy clothing strictly as a fashion statement alone. I don't want to draw any attention to myself either.
So sorry she told you that, that is definetely not the way to do it. Focusing on your style, and how you present yourself to the world, is generally a good thing. (And I love your concept of a 'style uniform' when you are just running errands; it makes things a lot easier) But never let it control every aspect. You are not less worthy of respect because you wear a hoodie one day, and didn't set your hair perfectly. We are all human.
And I don't understand why men think negatively of open toed sandals. Just take good care of your feet, there are no reason why you shouldn't let your toes breath on a hot summer day. :)
@HereIAm247 I personally eschew sandals because I think it looks sloppy. It's a lazy footwear and when I'm out and about, I don't want to worry about my footwear coming off if I exert myself in any way. I clean and polish my boots about twice a month and I can tolerate some amount of discomfort on a hot day. If it truly is hot, I wear sleeveless button downs or plain white cotton shirts and that usually is about as sloppy as I'm willing to get.
I experienced the boyfriend effect, in a positive way. I used to dress very tomboyish and my boyfriend (now husband) made me start dressing more feminine.
Hmmmm 🤔 there’s a double standard here. If a man starts dictating how his woman dresses, it’s seen as very toxic and controlling and a major red flag in female circles. How is it okay the other way around, even if the man arguably looks better?
You are applying too much logic my brother. It's best to just tell them to kick rocks when they try to change you. It's a shi*t test and most men fail. If she can change you, and make you start wearing things you don't like, she has won her own little mind game. Only part take if you are actually interested her changing up your sense of fashion. But most men don't want to part take, they do it to not lose access to sex, to keep the peace, and that right there is why men fail the shxt test. It's a sh*t test for sure.
Was she dictating though? He talked about her suggestions. I think it's all in the approach. Any emotionally mature woman should be able to handle constructive criticism and suggestions from an emotionally mature man who can communicate effectively.
Facts brother. If women criticize, then they should not get offended when guys criticize them. So long as the guy is kind and charitable when he does so.
@@dinosaur___7209very disingenuous to say that when men offer pointers on their girl’s’ appearances it’s usually abusive or controlling. I highly doubt that, men aren’t nearly as vindictive as women for some reason think they are. It’s fine for either party to to advise their spouse or date on their personal preferences when it comes to dress, and the women in the first videos certainly did their boyfriends no wrong, just as men doing the same thing do no wrong.
Idk if this qualifies as the “boyfriend effect” but when my girlfriend and I first started dating, she wasn’t super big on video games and didn’t understand that I built Legos. She grew up around both of them and did play old Nintendo games as a kid but not NEARLY as much as I did. But after a year of being together and her spending more and more time at my place, she picked up video games more and more, so much that she refuses to play any co-op games without me. And now she buys herself Lego sets and builds them before bed because she found it to be therapeutic in calming her anxiety down and clearing her mind. She even wants to get a really big Lego that we can both build together. I find it really cute and wholesome that the things that I just do in my spare time to relax she’s adopted into her own life because she say how it made me happy and made it into something we both can enjoy together and separately.
I feel like men do this before getting a girlfriend as well. We do it to look more presentable to potential partners so we are more attractive before the relationship.
I always made sure my clothes were legal and didn't look stupid. Other than that I didn't care. In junior high I accidentally wore my mom's pants to school. I didn't notice till she pointed it out.
This is very true. I’m from Europe and my boyfriend is from the US. We had a contrasting styling sense. He decided to change his dressing after visiting Europe, and I always felt overdressed in cities like Seattle. He also told me I look better in casual clothes, so I ended up in sweatpants whilst he wore polos and tailored trousers 😅
The best way to dress is to understand the room you are entering and just add small layer to what others are wearing. You won't have to ever worry about overdressing or underdressing.
So when I started dating my bf I really didn't like his clothing choices, but figured that was something I can live with and slowly change once we get married. As we've dated though he has gotten better at dressing himself. The boyfriend effect is real!
boyfriend/girlfriend effect is a REAL thing. I've been with my husband for 7 years, married 2 and just had a baby 6 months ago. I have been called "beautiful" more now than I ever did when we started dating and was wearing makeup everyday with well thought out outfits, etc. Now I'm literally in bagging t-shirts (usually covered in spit up stains or baby food lol) with biker shorts or leggings on a regular basis. This makes my husband sound so bad lol but the point I'm trying to make is that my husband thinks I'm the most beautiful when I'm all natural just being a mom and wife and I have NEVER in my life felt so confident. I no longer feel the need to dress up or that I have to look my best 24/7. Opposite to that, my husband DOES NOT buy clothes for himself. He asks me to buy things for him, knowing that I see him in a different perspective and know how to dress his body shape and know what style looks good on him. it's W I L D.
I would say that "the girlfriend effect" also has the opposite effect. Meaning, these changes often occur after breaking up with a woman. We get motivated by the loss to better ourselves and increase our value.
Not really. If you stick a piece of cardboard under a guy's chin and ask him what he's wearing? There's like 70% odds he won't be able to tell you without looking.
Honestly, this is really wholesome as this is what relationships are about: she helps him how to look his best while he helps her feel more comfortable about who she is as a petson ❤
As someone who is fashion-challenged. I occassionally go to my favorite hair stylist, tell her a couple of general things i like for maintain purposes, but then tell her to do what ever she likes.
I have been with my husband for ten years and have literally never had to dress him. He takes a lot of time on his style and figuring out what he likes to wear. I like to let him express himself through his clothing choices. And also I’m too busy dressing our kids. I didn’t marry a man child I married a man. And vice versa. He tells me I look nice and I wear what makes me feel good. It’s called being an adult.
I don't think it's that straightforward. The default instinct of most men is to go for comfort and utility. Style and aesthetic does not come as naturally for men as it does for women because that's just not what we're wired to value. Style in a man is a skill that has to be taught and cultivated, and I'd even go so far as to say that most of the men to whom it comes more intuitively are either more effeminate, gay, or were brought up in a more affluent, metropolitan/metrosexual cultural environment that places greater importance upon learning such behavior.
@Tyler_W bro, you do realize that in the 1920s the average man put 300% more effort into his clothing than the average man today, and those men had probably 3 times the testosterone men have today? It's just being lazy
The whole thing is predicated on eyelash extensions, fake nails, tans and such looking good. A lot of dudes see that and think 'she looks insane and super high maintenance'. So if the girlfriend effect is molding men to be more appealing to women (and that's fine), then most of the alleged controlling behaviour would be effectively doing the reverse. I suspect the core of it is women are actually dressing up to maintain their social status with women.
@@victorcates9330 The irony is that actually the so called boyfriend/girlfriend effects are actually causing them to appear more like males and females do in much of the animal kingdom. Wherein very often it is the males who are the flashy ones, and the females are the plain ones 😂
This is interesting! I don't know if I can speak for my husband - he already had a great sense of style when we met in my opinion. I do know for myself, not so much when we were dating, but after we got married I really did stop doing a lot of the "self care" stuff I had been in the past. Some, I would like to get back into, but it was a combination of not spending as much time on myself as I used to, and not feeling any pressure to perform or doll myself up for him. He is so accepting and encouraging even to my physical insecurities that I can just chill and be myself with him and feel 100% loved
Girl sees flawed guy she wants to date. Girl: I can change him. *changes him* Girl: 😭 I want to break up. You’re not the man you were when we first started dating.
Botox-chicken-lips lady is so unbelievably full of herself. WHY does she need the same attention from other guys that she got when she wasn’t single? Being so valued no matter what by a man who loves you seems so much nicer than constantly striving for the attention of superficial strangers
I think it can go both ways. I dressed nice when I met my husband, but I don't think I dressed to my potential. My husband (boyfriend at the time) would suggest outfits that I didn't think I could pull off or that I didn't even consider when we would go shopping. I honestly have him to thank for the sense of style that I have today. As for him, he's always been stylish.
If a girlfriend is trying to look extra hot.. you got to wonder if she's simply trying to get attention of other guys. There's a difference between staying healthy/in shape & dolling yourself up.
I remember seeing this when it started and actually really liking it 😄 love your point here, too - it’s about listening and having a wholesome heart attitude. ☺️
in my experience “boyfriend air” has been positive! i look or think back at past style/beauty choices i made and was glad i took my boyfriends preferences into consideration, i began to see the beauty he sees, within myself. rather than perceiving his preferences as controlling or taking away from my confidence. i’ve learned to find beauty in my natural appearance much more now than i ever could.
My opinion on the "boyfriend effect" is that I personally prefer women with little to no makeup and casual clothing. Girls who put on a bunch of makeup, hooker nails, eyelash extensions, and deep tans just come across as conceited to me, or like they're trying to look the way society tells them to rather than look like themselves. Imo, if you're a young, healthy weight woman, you're likely pretty just with a shower and a comb.
So glad to see another guy like this. My husband got me to stop packing on the makeup and go all natural. I didn't even wear makeup for our wedding. I still rarely wear any. 2 kids and I sometimes wear something just to balance out my skin tone because sometimes I have red splotches on my cheeks. (I'm literally the only one who notices them. Lol.) It's not even a foundation and doesn't really even change my appearance at all. And then I sometimes wear mascara. That's about it unless I get solved up to go out with hubs. More guys need to encourage natural beauty because I am 10x's more satisfied with myself because of my hubs.
@@TruckerWife A lot of men do try to encourage that but there are a F load of woman that take offence. Then start accusing the guys of being controlling. I've seen/heard plenty of women btch when men say they don't like the shoveled on make-up, the claws, the eyelashes etc.
I'm always reminded of that episode of Fresh prins of Bel Air where Will Smith gets locked in a freezer with his date. The entire episode is them stuck in that freezer en him realising an other bit of this girl he took on a date is fake. Her nails come off, her lashes aren't real, her hair is a wig... It's all fake. I see those girls in this video and all I think about is Will Smith... really disconcerting 😅
Alpha M and Alex Costa are the ones who taught me how to be the best version of myself. Everything I do, I do it for me. No matter if I’m single or in a relationship.
This may never see the light of day. But when I dated my bestfriend (now wife), we were complete opposites. I was over the top GQ while she was more subtle and conservative. We often had small tiffs and teased each other, taking turns with altering each others attire within reason to flip out our friends and teachers. Now. Some 15 years later, both of us are VERY BASIC yet still very much in love, bedhead and all.
That's encouraging. I hesitate to date guys who are more into fashion and trends than I am, thinking that they will use it as a reason to knock me down some. I assume they'll reject me, so I don't even go for them.
So in reality, I had feelings for this girl once and didn’t want to be a slob so I did end up fixing my self up so I had a chance. Never got a chance but I still felt the need to e better than I was for her.
As a girl who dislikes wearing makeup, I welcome the boyfriend effect. I have better things to focus my time and energy on than fake eyelashes. And I like being able to rub my eyes whenever one of my real eye lashes gets in them.
The way I see it for myself is I put more effort in to show respect for my partner. To put my best foot forward for them. No one tells me how to look or makes me. I put forth effort because I care. I care to be my best self.
Yes. During our first date, he was dressed simply but passable, then on our second date, he dressed much better. I told him I liked the clothes he wore on our second date and he didn't mind upping his wardrobe because I said I liked it. Just the other day he even sent me a picture of his new, shorter haircut. Now I'm not sure about the other girls, but the boyfriend effect is a positive thing for me. Because I'm the type who also dresses simply. Now, I finally go on shopping trips and search for clothes that better suit me in respect to my man who was willing to do the same effort and changes as me.
I remember this quote I saw somewhere years ago. “Always dress like you might meet the love of your life.” So that’s affected how I put myself together since. Nothing over-the-top for the occasion but never goblin mode either. In a way, you don’t need a girlfriend to get the “girlfriend effect.” You should always dress to impress, even minimally. Don’t go to the grocery store in your pajamas. Take your bonnet or durag off. Don’t wear clothes with stains or bleach marks (unless the purpose is to get dirty). No matter the occasion. Make an effort to look presentable on an appropriate level.
Do it before you get married, my husband still won’t stop wearing his slob shorts in public . But now won’t wear them in the house cos he knows I don’t like them 😂
My ex wife drove me bonkers when we were dating, moved in together. She always thought she had to look "her best" 24/7. Her best was coming to bed with full make up on. My pillowcases looked like a paint pallette. She was scared I wouldn't find her attractive au natural
How did that dude even dress like that to begin with lmao. I just dress clean and clean myself and like girls who do the same haha. Some of these people take it too far for me with the amount of effort they put into every little thing. Once it hits a point 'high maintenance' is like a beacon you can see from space. If someone is going out to get extensions and all the nails and all the lashes and all of that other stuff hell to the no.
I'll dress the way my gf wants ...the day she starts dressing the way I would prefer (neither of those is going to happen). Oddly enough, I used to dress very "well" when I was around 23 or so, the closer I got to 30 the more I started to wonder "why?"... truth be told it was mostly to impress and get dates, over time I switched to dressing comfortable and honestly, feels much better. I've come to find that a lot of the "Improvements" some relationship bring are superficial and all about status / validation ... I would love to have my gf to always keep me motivated to keep studying, working out, learning useful skills, cooking / eating better even and all that good stuff.... but to bother me about fashion choices? I'm good. I do however always smell good and keep myself in shape.
Girlfriend effect = emotional blackmail, emotional beat down, a changed man aka a hostage who is denied sexual intimacy until he is changed to an unrecognizable POW ( prisoner of a woman) These are only jokes. Calm down*
I’ve seen men being led around by their wives; being told what to buy, try on & wear. It’s disgusting. MEN- TEACH YOUR SONS HOW TO DRESS! Getting tips from a girlfriend is one thing but don’t let a woman mold you into what she wants. Why not? Because a part of her will never respect you & she’ll always feel like she can have her way.
Also women’s opinions on men’s clothes aren’t that great from my experience. Men need to find what they look good in and what they’re comfortable with.
So it was the reverse for me. I looked like a freaking hobbit until I got a bf. Then he started buying me cute clothes and no he wasn’t controllingd, but I realized he has fashion sense! Totally changed my life! Now we’re married and I almost always take him shopping with me. ❤️
My guy gives me suggestions for clothes all the time. And even sometimes I buy them. I'm not super into clothes like most women though and he's a designer.
Having experienced the “boyfriend effect” I sincerely believe it’s based on how healthy you’re relationship is and whether you’re with the right person. Meaning, are they supporting you to be better or do they not care at all. When it’s unhealthy and unhappy you don’t care who you look good for
I somewhat disagree. It may not be the healthiest to not take your fashion and looks very seriously, but people tend to be happier when they feel like they can dress however they want and still be accepted
“We’re not getting the attention we deserve” basically spoke for every modern woman in America. Desperate for attention from strangers rather than her loved one 🤡
Boyfriend effect actually had a really positive effect on me once. My at the time boyfriend said that I looked beautiful without makeup. My skin during that relationship ended up clearing up like crazy, I was eating healthier and I even started working out. He also started looking nicer as well by dressing up better and getting more frequent haircuts. We started dating each other originally because we were best friends and got along really well. As long as you feel good in the relationship, supporting each other’s goals in life & you two are making each other better people, nothing else matters
In my experience with the whole “boyfriend air” thing, the difference is that we women feel beautiful when we’re all done up, with the glam and all the things, but men love natural beauty (emphasis on beauty - taking care of yourself is still important and plays a role on how attractive you are, but it’s a different kind of care). I’m married and not trying to attract anyone, but I still like to look good, and I always notice that I get more “looks” and male compliments when I’m just out with no make-up, natural hair, and a nice modest sundress or something (mind you, I still look put together, just not with the make-up and the lashes and the xyz). Men really don’t like all the extra stuff (at least not in the way that it counts - they might want to sleep with you because of all that glam, but will not necessarily want to be with you).
Neither “boyfriend air” or “girlfriend air” is solely positive or negative. Women help men realize they should value how they look, and men help women realize their looks aren’t the only thing of value.
That's probably the best take on the whole thing that I've ever heard.
Beautifully put!
That's pretty ironic and a bit of an oxymoron though lol. One's helping value their looks whilst the other is telling women looks aren't everything.. lol. May not be to him, but it sure is to her.
@@nukiesduke6868because men only care about look at the start of a relationship and then the only thing that matters is personality
@nukiesduke6868 it's finding the balance, not focusing too much on looks while also focusing enough to look presentable. Men and women compliment each other that's how God made us
Solely having a girlfirend boosts men's confidence by 200-300%
That's why men do so much better in a relationship when it comes to not needing external validation or attention. You just saying you want to be with us is a shot in the arm to our existence. A genuine compliment with reciprocity about our polo or maybe some sort of thing we did will last us for weeks since we all remember the five compliments we randomly got in public since we were born. A lot of women on the other hand seem to feel like they are dying on the inside when they don't get external attention. The women in the one clip even says as much. There has be a balance somewhere.
@@joshuasterling2144 exactly , once i talked to a girl and that alone increased my productivity by 160% on that day
Tell me you have low self worth without telling me you have low self worth.
@@scout3058 i don't have low self worth i'm stating facts , what actually happens
@terminator_x.24 Sure, if the guy had self worth issues to begin with thete is a 2 to 300 % jump. But men who find their worth within vs from other people...that jump is negligible.
My boyfriend saved my life when it comes to how I look and dress. When I got with my bf, over a time period of like a year, I lost 30 pounds, stopped dyeing my hair and shaving the sides, took out most of my piercings and my gauges, and stopped dressing like a male adolescent anime character. I take him shopping with me every time I buy new clothes and I've never felt more beautiful. The well-dressed conservative man influence is so real.
Good for you!
I hope to be that influence with the girl I'm currently talking to.
Update: She's now my girlfriend. Wish me luck.
Wholesome story.
W woman
W gf, W woman, W everything
One coworker I had really wasn't taking care of himself. Cargo shorts and a t-shirt every day, barely wore deodorant,wasn't keeping hair and beard groomed was clearly depressed and irritable. He was about 30.
He got a love interest and suddenly that man started lookin sharp. He's married now and he's kept on dressing nice and it's been some years. He seems so much happier. She works there now too and she's a really cool chick. I'm happy for them.
And what is wrong with cargo shorts and a t-shirt?
What's wrong with cargos
@@saulgoodman2018😂😂😂 she done woke up the men who keep dick sport goods profitable. How dare you insult these classy gentlemen. I bid you a good day young lady. 😂
@@saulgoodman2018 I agree but i think its better that he's in a good position.
that is amazing
When a woman treats you right and she says "I like when you do this" we tend to cater to her. Plus if it gets us compliments we would gladly change things
Yet when a man says “I like when you do this” it’s sexists, controlling, and the patriarchy. The irony of how sexist a lot of women are 😂
no way? when guys are appreciated for doing something we do it more? who'd have thunk
If you have to change who you are for anyone else then you are weak and honestly I wouldn't even look twice at you!
I told my man, "You know that blue shirt we thrifted together? Wear that more often 'cuz you look fucking hot in it. Either formal pants or your grey sweatpants with it would make you look even hotter, although I prefer the formal pants, especially the beige one." He wore the blue shirt and the beige formal pants on the day he proposed to me. I was simping over him the entire day.
When I want him to wear something (usually because he looks like a whole damn excellent delicacy steak in it), I just tell him he looks hot in it and he'll wear it within a few days.
Yo Brett, your editor deserves a raise. Whoever you are, you elevated my mood, and thank you for that.
I think the girlfriend effect is usually more positive bc men take criticism, especially constructive criticism, better than women usually. Where as with boyfriend air, women get comfortable bc they have a man so they don't have to impress the general public anymore. And men compliment their girl so it reinforces the comfort. But the extreme is getting too comfortable and we know what happens after that. Key point is to always work towards constantly improving for yourself and for each other so you both win in the end.
Very interesting take. I think this is very true
I can totally agree on that, we men take constructive criticism well, but most times we dont have anyone who can give that. Girlfriend effect is real
I don’t think that either is more positive than the other
I think it’s beta to let someone tell you how to dress as a man you should know what’s raw and far out and dress with a pulse. not play fashion “safe”
@@MrDopeAss So it's alpha to be obsessed with the latest, in vogue fashion trends and dressing yourself like someone from Zoolander? Strange take. 🤔
My boyfriend effect was actually positive lol. I lost weight (I was fat) and I started wearing the pretty clothes I always wanted to wear. He was happy to encourage me to continue going to the gym (I wanted this) and he always complimented me whenever I wore the dresses and skirts that the grown adults in my life growing up always had something negative to pick out about them. My bf saw the potential in me lol
I feel like that's what would happen to the majority of big women if they just stopped resisting and just got a boyfriend that'll help them go to the gym and be their gym partner.
W bro that's how it should be tho everything my girl wears I think she looks perfect and beautiful asf In and she wants to loose weight and me anyways who does go to the gym asked her come with me so now she does and she thanked me for actually giving her the confidence to go and make her comfortable there so she always says thank you but either way I loved her I loved her when she was big I love her the way she is now I didn't care too much because to me she is just perfect
@@Jane-ow7sr I think there is a statistical anomaly where women tend to "let themselves go" quicker than men when getting into a serious relationship, whereas for men it's usually the opposite (at first) where they "become a better man" after getting into one themselves.
I think it comes from the fact that for a lot of women these days trying to maintain peak physical health can be a mental strain, and by getting into a serious relationship they've essentially "settled down" and feel they don't have to try as much. However like I said, men seem to want to "prove" to their partner that they were a good choice, and thus try harder. This is why divorced men have higher rates of remarrying, because often times they leave those relationships better off compared to divorced women. Alot of it also has to do with when men & women are in their physical prime too, of course.
Edit: didn't get to the 'boyfriend effect' segment before commenting, but yeah it's that but scaled up with the age and maturity of the relationship.
Sounds cute sir shrooma but fr most women never even approach peak physical condition. It's extremely rare. And those that do are all insta thots.
@@Jane-ow7sr "Resisting..." Lol. 🙃😅
Not me out here going to the gym, getting fit on my own, meeting new people, and still not finding a man. 😭
My wife used to have problems with her skin, leading her into a vicious cycle of putting on more makeup. I encouraged her to try to go more natural, and sure enough, her skin cleared up after a while. I'm convinced that makeup has poison in it to create a vicious cycle of insecurity.
Well makeup actually destroys your skin so.....
@@silvy7394, that doesn't surprise me. There's no way putting that stuff on your face doesn't cause problems, especially if you're doing it every day.
Smart. I told my daughter that too. It really allows the skin to breathe
@@katemiller7874 Your daughter better be an adult. If not, shame on you for allowing makeup during her teenaged years.
Maybe some of it does? I will die on the Clinique hill. I’ve never met someone who’s had a bad reaction to it. I’ve used the 3-step skin care since I was 13 and I’ve used their foundation since 14. But there’s two things I’ve noticed lead to breakouts for me personally. One is not washing the makeup off all the way. Leftover makeup clogs your pores and leads to breakouts. The other is nasty makeup brushes. If you don’t clean your brushes enough, then any dead skin/bacteria/leftover makeup in the brushes goes right back on your skin.
All skin types are different, but hopefully this helps
Now do “the marriage effect” where everyone lets themselves go because they feel like they don’t have to keep up appearances for their life-partner.
Lol sounds like the pre divorce effect 🤣🤣
Followed presently by the diminishing of the sex drive.
If both of you give up trying for that bf/gf energy it will eventually inevitably lead to attraction dying too, and the sex drive with it.
Fastest way to turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it
@@Farmnflyin @DuncanClair no, marriage isn't the catalyst. It's when both people stop investing in the relationship, in each other. The pursuit stops. The value and appreciation stops. Since people don't know how long they have with their loved ones in this life, taking anyone for granted is a very idiotic mentality.
Wow. Must suck to be in that kind of marriage. An open lack of self respect is a pretty big red flag.
My brother in law experienced the wife effect. It was a lot more than clothing. And he gave her the daily gift of laughter. They are a perfect match.
This made me smile thank you. What a wholesome beautiful comment.
My parents are the same way lol. My dad is the kinda guy that wears ancient clothing with gaping holes in them out of the house, and my mom is the type to consider blouses, skirts, and slacks as “casual”. Two such wildly different people, yet they’re just as wildly happy with each other
Aw! 🥰
That's some wholesomeness we all need right now, how beautiful ❤
@@frightfactoryYT well they've been going strong for at least 15 years now...
I started dressing so much nicer and more feminine ever since I started dating my husband a couple years ago. Not because he made me feel like I should, he will literally say I’m beautiful after crawling out of a sewer, but because I feel safe and confident enough to wear things that are fun and that don’t hide who I am. And personally I like making an effort to look beautiful around him
Girl same! When I met my husband I started to invest more on enhancing my natural feminine features. Now even with kids and my body has morphed throughout the years, I still stay relatively the same with my feminine style. It’s just become more comfy. Like I like wearing dresses like I’m a modern day mage lol
He’s also gotten hotter and has invested in wearing more accessories with his outfits like shades and watches. He cleans up for me when I tell him he doesn’t have to, but hey that happens vice versa lol
Wow, women with actually healthy mindset and appreciating their boyfriends/husbands? It's something new and fresh after seeing constant hate against men in social media.
❤
My brother's ex girlfriend had the opposite effect on him. He had longer soft wavy hair, always dressed kinda sharp and classy. Classy dress shoes, cool jeans and polo shirts, etc. Always looked more mature and clean. She gave him an ugly cut that didn't go with his features. She then insisted he had to wear ugly graphic hoodies and ugly super baggy colorful shirts. Ripped jeans. And it wasn't even a cool messy look. He looked homeless. She was kind of an e-girl. She wanted to dress him according to her own liking.
He's now gone back to his old style and has been cleaning up his look. Gosh, she messed everything up.
Lol
To explain the mentality of the "girlfriend effect", it mostly comes from two factors 1. 'I don't dress nice for myself but the sake of others' 2. Generally, guys are much more confident and happy when in a relationship, confidence + happiness = better self care
This.
I’m not sure about the happy part but the confidence part makes sense
@@TheSaltySpitoon69 why would u not be happy in a relationship, if someones not happy just break up?
Facts
I've heard dozens of men say they're happier single.
The issue with "boyfriend air" is that it demonstrates the "I dress this way for me" line is a complete lie for most women. If she was making sure she was dressed to the 9s before dating you (or even early in the relationship) and is now barely taking showers, she was not dressing for herself before; she was dressing to attract you. It is a bit like the guys that workout so they can get a girlfriend only to stop once they get a girlfriend. The guys are not telling these girls not to take care of themselves and put effort into their appearance!
100% agreed
Personally, “I dress this way for me” only works with daringly unique and eccentric looks that go against the grain-you know others probably won’t like it, but you do, so it’s for you. Showing skin isn’t style and revealing your body isn’t “dressing for yourself” lmao it’s not even “dressing.” But showering also isn’t dressing-that’s basic hygiene. If she’s struggling with that then she might be struggling with her mental health
yep. it proves they only dress good for attention from other guys and to spite other women.
My mother is in her 50s, and has been married to the same man for decades and still dresses to the 9s and wears a full face of make up. Even has a whole make up vanity in a spare room where she can doll herself up in the morning. My step dad couldn't care less how she dresses and doesn't get dressed up himself unless is a special occasion. My sister is more like my mom, and I'm the opposite. I still doll myself up, but I don't do it routinely like they do. I just do it when I feel like it. So I'm content looking like a bridge troll one day and looking like a glam queen the next. 🤔😂 Point being, everyone's different, some people do seek validation and once they get it,they stop putting in the effort. But most of us really do dress the way we do for ourselves and not others. 👍
My friend changed a ton when he got a girlfriend, but arguably for worse in my opinion. Sometimes "the girlfriend effect" can be a bad thing.
Was for the two guys she showed, went from minor chad to femboy.
@@Thorgon-Crossyeh looks great
Most times. That's why I confused by this video.
@@Thorgon-CrossI'm so confused. They would still have the same body type and mannerisms at the end of the day.
@@zoomer-express Yes and? I did not say anything about body type or mannerisms, why are you bringing those up?
"Boyfriend effect" was the opposite for me. When I got a boyfriend, I started dressing cuter, styling my hair different, wearing a little jewelry, and in general, just started caring about how I looked. Before I met him, my normal outfit was t-shirt and jeans, tennis shoes, and a ponytail. No makeup and no jewelry. Now, though, I pair the jeans with a cute blouse, I actually style my hair, and put on some earrings and sometimes a necklace. When I'm really tired or working on something messy, I'll still go with the easy "comfort clothes", but even then, I try to pick a t-shirt that's a little more tailored than my old style.
If "boyfriend effect" has a negative effect on you, maybe you should focus on playing up your natural beauty and see where that takes you. 12 pounds of makeup, fake hair, and 6 foot nails make you look really fake, not really attractive. What your boyfriend sees is that if you dropped all that nonsense and focused on doing your natural hair in ways that become you, and take care of your natural nails and skin, you would be much prettier without all that stuff.
Beautiful!!!!
kindness can make even the average person insanely attractive
Welcome to Equilibrium
Lol it did the opposite for me, before I got a boyfriend I dressed so tomboyish. literally not flattering at all. He asked me to wear a dress once just so he could see it and eventually he started talking me into dressing more girly. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin now and he compliments me every day and I love him for it. He brought the "beautiful girl" out in me.
“I needed a snap back to reality”
Brett: “You shouldn’t LOSE YOURSELF in a relationship.”
Well played.
WO A H
I was looking for this comment
oops there goes gravity...
The attention thing is what got me, who's attention is she craving when she's in a relationship and he's fine/happy with her relaxed look?
I'm glad I wasn't the only one.
My ex had such a positive boyfriend effect on me. I used to be pretty lazy when it came to dressing up and fashion. I used to be super skinny to the point that it was unhealthy. He changed that in me and I in turn made him a whole more serious about business and school. It CAN work both ways.
Why did yall break up?
@@AJ-dn6ejI was about to say, it can’t of been that Positive if he’s an Ex 😂😂😂
You mean you got fat, bitched at him to make more money, cheated anyway and ruined a good thing?
Ya what we men look for is a girl who is serious about business and school ….congrats you learned nothing about what men want 😂
But were you a hobbit on his bed ?
I'm sorry bit the girl in the video that said that was cracking me up
It's funny how we girls are claiming that it's the boyfriend's fault for our "glow downs". The boyfriend effect is our subconscious response to our increased comfort levels. The girlfriend effect is our direct influence on our boyfriend's appearance. It's our doing both of the time😂
Completely accurate, glad you get it. Women control and benefit from both. Men sort of benefit from the gf effect if they maintain the changes after breaking up.
I love that last quote, "You look better without makeup". I honestly know so many girls who what looks like pounds of make-up on when they really do look beautiful anyways. I'm not saying make-up is bad or shouldn't be used but sometimes it's a little much and it feels like natural beauty was forgotten.
Only beginners put pounds of makeup. Women who are experinced know how to put as little as possible but look as good as possible.
Right. Even Brett can get carried away sometimes. It's really rare for it to be shown on her videos (I think her team does a good job to keep it relatively natural looking), but after viewing her posts on Instagram... yeah, she can be a little caked up sometimes when it's not for a vid
@user-rx7uh9mg4f I've seen its pretty common for brides to be caked up on their wedding day. Like WTH?!?!
I like natural but SLIGHT eye make up and lipstick can really wow me.
My husband has always said, “if you wear make up go for it, if you don’t, go for it. You’re beautiful no matter what.” We’ve known each other for 15 years and been married for 9
I’ve been with my bf for almost 2 years and since then I’ve completely shifted who I am, for the better! When we first met I was edging 200 lbs, my hair was super short and damaged from bleaching and dying it, I had multiple piercings, I dressed like a thot, and I wore crazy ass makeup. He got me into the gym and helped me feel worthy of being loved. I’m now down to 145-150, my hair is at my shoulders and it’s so healthy and beautiful, I removed all my piercings except my ears, and I’m typically bare faced or very natural makeup! I’ve never felt more beautiful, and I’m very proud of the progress that I’ve made! I tell him all the time that he lives up to his name, Angel 😂❤️
“Grown men don’t dress for comfort. We dress for outcomes” - Kevin Samuels.
A bespoke suit from a decent tailor is comfortable. It's like wearing pajamas.
Amd his outcome was dying in his early 50s, what a great role model. Maybe a bit of comfort would've kept him alive a bit longer.
@@Mist3rEMDied from too much stress dealing with post-wall delusional used up women trying to get them to understand reality 🤷
Yeah no.
@@Mist3rEM bro what, you cannot outdress high blood pressure
As someone far removed from the dating scene, it seems that the guys didn't care enough about their appearance and the girls overdid it. The relationship effect is to bring them into an equilibrium.
Right. I’m under the belief of never letting another person mold you into what they want. Why not? Because a part of them won’t respect you or trust you to make your own decisions.
@@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat Yup. Just commented this. My brother's ex did that with him. Chose his whole wardrobe (she completely f*cked up his classy style) and demanded that he did this and that. She called all the shots. We all knew she would screw everything up from the start when we noticed her bossy attitude. She's now an ex...
Meh.
To me the men looked like sketches of men modelling really bland clothes that I might expect to see in a fashion magazine.
The thing I noticed most clearly about the change on the men is the color in their outfit is crushed flat.
Being with a woman literally makes them more conservative in dress code - no wonder mens clothing is steadily shrinking to nothing in department stores......
Yes my sentiments exactly. The women thinking they looked like sewer rats when they dropped all that fake stuff… Nah, they started looking less plastic and more like a real person. 😂 The guys started looking more approachable and less like a basement dweller.
Sometimes both effects can go too far and become negative, but optimistically it brings positive balance.
I definitely had the BF effect on my husband, but long term my husband has greatly helped me with my personal style! I dressed more cute and innocent when we first met and he's helped me feel more comfortable dressing womanly. I still wear cute outfits for me often enough, but my style has greatly expanded. I get sooooo many more compliments when I wear the things he picks of buys me. His input in make and hair has been very helpful also.
I don’t have a girlfriend and I dress with style.
i respect your confidence in saying that lol
Same
You dropped this: 🧢🧢🧢
Good for you
Suuuure.
I think a lot of it comes down to female competition: when a woman is single, she'll pretty herself up. She markets herself at her best. This isn't just for potential mates; she does it to outshine the competition.
When a woman is in a committed relationship, her attention tends to go towards improving the guy. This is her way of elevating her status among women by having a desirable partner.
Painting with a broad brush, but I think that's part of it.
And she forgets to take care of herself herself while she's taking care of her man and the kids she had so he leaves her for a younger model because she "let herself go".
@@deniseharris9320 Statisistically it’s more like her leaving because the man got too boring. 75% of all divorces are initiated by women.
@@deniseharris9320 You're going to the extreme. "No one should let themselves go" male or female. Still take care of yourself no one's saying not to, what it means is to not be a model with makeup face, fake lashes, long nails etc.... 24/7.
The first one she made her man go from school boy to lesbian
@jmagicd9831 well, when women work full time jobs, are responsible for the majority of all the childcare and domestic work in the house and generally (not always) don't get a lot of support from their husband who is at a statistical standing of 25% of cheating on her (compared to her 15%) and for the first time in all of human history she can look at the situation and say to herself "I'm making my own money, taking care of the kids and the house practically by myself and I don't have to stay with him after he cheated on me" it's not hard to see why 70% of women file for divorce.
A friend of mine started dating a girl and actually did tell her she should lose weight and they are married now. He told her after a few dates that she is pretty but she'd look even better if she started working out and trimmed down and that actually worked somehow.
No we don’t really care how we dress, we could wear almost anything and we wouldn’t feel embarrassed, thats just how guys are, we just don’t really care how we look 99% of the time
@johnathancooper9476 you got it man, most guys, including myself, we could have one set of clothes for a week we would be fine
@johnathancooper9476 yep simple is the trick, lot of guys try to over do it when it comes to trying to impress a girl. I’m not trying to brag at all, but ‘bout a year ago I was wearing a raggedy old shirt, jeans, slides and I had long hair, and During the summer a random girl approached me at my camp and even since then we’ve been talking and have been together since july of 22 simple is just the way to go man that all you need, and again I’m not trying to brag at all, just trying to tell my story that goes along with simple stuff and not having to dress to nice just being nice and simple
Well said. Guys who are concerned with what is really important don't place a whole lot of value in superficiality. Obviously, we don't want to look and smell like a hobo either. But guys who spend a lot of time on their outward appearance are actually quite shortsighted. I learned this the hard way.
@dwt8 true that my friend Im in a small suburban area and even though I’m in a long distance relationship I see it rubbing in on me from time to time, never really realized it till now thougb
@@ulibarriL Well said from you too, no one wants to look like a hobo, but going overboard on what you look like can cloud what you think about others and make it so you see others below you, when no one is below or above you
I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and a half, so I've seen her without her makeup like a million times. She has often said that she looks like a homeless person , but I genuinely just think she's gorgeous. I still love it when she dresses up. Of course I do. But I genuinely see her as beautiful, not just the makeup.
They're quite desensitised by seeing too many gorgeous women, not knowing they also have so much care in their looks just to be on the posters. I think the same too, my partners so adorable and pretty even without it, but looks even better with just *light* makeup. But without makeup, the beauty is more authentic and warm, it's nicer. Seems like girls have less self confidence about looks than guys, blame that on the industry and media I guess. And barbie 😂
In the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend saved me from my destructive tendencies such as an eating disorder that was getting severe. I gained healthy weight and he’s been nothing but supportive of taking care of myself a being healthy.
My boyfriend and I both preferred to dress for comfort instead of looks. I used to wear a lot of makeup but honestly I wear very minimal to none now. The only time I dress up is for special occasions and it honestly means more then to the both us because I don't do it all the time. Of course take care of yourself girlies but don't be afraid to go minimalistic there's nothing wrong with it! Thanks for the wholesome video!
Girl yes! I love having a comfortable relationship. I will make up all the time and then I stopped but he likes it better when I don't even though I'm breaking out right now. I feel like as women we stopped wearing makeup and stuff like that because we've become more confident in ourselves through our relationship.
I've always been one of those minimal women. The group of women I hung around with at the time asked myself and another woman in the group why we never wore make-up and spent ages styling our hair every day. The other woman turned to me and said jokingly "Just ignore them. They're just jealous we put in way less effort and get all the compliments for looking nice when we go out and they don't because they just look the same as every other day" lol
You absolutely want to be dressed for your lifestyle and occasions and mesh in that. I think that's key.
I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. And I've never felt more beautiful than I have with him. I don't wear makeup and he makes me feel confident and reassures me that I am beautiful with no make up on. Same thing for him, he has definitely gotten better over the years. As far as his outward appearance, he knows that he is a reflection of me and man that I chose to be with.
same with me though its only been a year :3 it really seems like if your not overly concerned with your looks, the "girl friend effect" works on both sides x3
He still reassures you? So you are saying without it, you are lost on your appearance. You need to be constantly told you look a certain way to paint a picture of reality. Women and their “logic”.
As a comparatively lower maintenance girlie, I think I would get "girlfriend aired" instead of the opposite once he comes along, so it's probably just a phenomenon where the introduction of a romantic partner into your life brings out significant changes in how you feel about/carry yourself
As a guy, you are correct. We are not intentionally trying to get women to stop trying to control them. That’s awful…..and takes way too much thought 😂
Yeah that's at the bottom of the thought pile
We don’t want woman to stop trying. No guy wants to be married to the woman who stopped trying for 20 years and now you’re married to a gremlin 😂
True. When I get home from work I dont want mind games, power games, drama. I just want to relax and have some good time with my lady
Women get nails, make-up, extensions, highlights, spray tan, etc. For other women.
@@SubvertTheStatethey really do
I remember an ex telling me that I looked bad based on my style (or lack thereof) and it has always stuck with me to some extent. I rarely dress to impress, even now, but I never leave the house without a belt and a tucked in undershirt. I don't wear open toed shoes or sandals, no sweatpants, and I only wear hoodies when working outside on my own property. I make a point to keep my cheeks, neck, and head shaved and my beard trimmed and combed. My current partner enjoys shaping my eyebrows and I suppose I don't mind that. But I will never buy clothing strictly as a fashion statement alone. I don't want to draw any attention to myself either.
Probably go to therapy
If you have to trim your beard as a woman, you're in for a rough time
So sorry she told you that, that is definetely not the way to do it. Focusing on your style, and how you present yourself to the world, is generally a good thing. (And I love your concept of a 'style uniform' when you are just running errands; it makes things a lot easier) But never let it control every aspect. You are not less worthy of respect because you wear a hoodie one day, and didn't set your hair perfectly. We are all human.
And I don't understand why men think negatively of open toed sandals. Just take good care of your feet, there are no reason why you shouldn't let your toes breath on a hot summer day. :)
@HereIAm247 I personally eschew sandals because I think it looks sloppy. It's a lazy footwear and when I'm out and about, I don't want to worry about my footwear coming off if I exert myself in any way. I clean and polish my boots about twice a month and I can tolerate some amount of discomfort on a hot day. If it truly is hot, I wear sleeveless button downs or plain white cotton shirts and that usually is about as sloppy as I'm willing to get.
I experienced the boyfriend effect, in a positive way.
I used to dress very tomboyish and my boyfriend (now husband) made me start dressing more feminine.
Hmmmm 🤔 there’s a double standard here. If a man starts dictating how his woman dresses, it’s seen as very toxic and controlling and a major red flag in female circles. How is it okay the other way around, even if the man arguably looks better?
You are applying too much logic my brother. It's best to just tell them to kick rocks when they try to change you. It's a shi*t test and most men fail. If she can change you, and make you start wearing things you don't like, she has won her own little mind game. Only part take if you are actually interested her changing up your sense of fashion.
But most men don't want to part take, they do it to not lose access to sex, to keep the peace, and that right there is why men fail the shxt test. It's a sh*t test for sure.
Was she dictating though? He talked about her suggestions. I think it's all in the approach. Any emotionally mature woman should be able to handle constructive criticism and suggestions from an emotionally mature man who can communicate effectively.
Its kind of like girl-math. 🙃
Facts brother. If women criticize, then they should not get offended when guys criticize them. So long as the guy is kind and charitable when he does so.
@@dinosaur___7209very disingenuous to say that when men offer pointers on their girl’s’ appearances it’s usually abusive or controlling. I highly doubt that, men aren’t nearly as vindictive as women for some reason think they are. It’s fine for either party to to advise their spouse or date on their personal preferences when it comes to dress, and the women in the first videos certainly did their boyfriends no wrong, just as men doing the same thing do no wrong.
As a woman, with current style of fake lashes, crazy pumped lips and layers of tint on your face- I'm with the men on the "boyfriend affect".
Idk if this qualifies as the “boyfriend effect” but when my girlfriend and I first started dating, she wasn’t super big on video games and didn’t understand that I built Legos. She grew up around both of them and did play old Nintendo games as a kid but not NEARLY as much as I did.
But after a year of being together and her spending more and more time at my place, she picked up video games more and more, so much that she refuses to play any co-op games without me. And now she buys herself Lego sets and builds them before bed because she found it to be therapeutic in calming her anxiety down and clearing her mind. She even wants to get a really big Lego that we can both build together. I find it really cute and wholesome that the things that I just do in my spare time to relax she’s adopted into her own life because she say how it made me happy and made it into something we both can enjoy together and separately.
so sweet 🥺
I feel like men do this before getting a girlfriend as well. We do it to look more presentable to potential partners so we are more attractive before the relationship.
Unfortunately so many men aren’t even looking for women anymore.
I always made sure my clothes were legal and didn't look stupid. Other than that I didn't care. In junior high I accidentally wore my mom's pants to school. I didn't notice till she pointed it out.
How the heck do you accidentally wear your mom's pants to school 😂😂
How
Okay, what the hell! How does that happen?
How can clothes be illegal? Lmao
@@s0urp0wer5 Depends on where you wear them :) Club wear isn't job wear :)
Girl friends change how the boy looks in life while boy friends change how the girl looks at life
This is very true. I’m from Europe and my boyfriend is from the US. We had a contrasting styling sense. He decided to change his dressing after visiting Europe, and I always felt overdressed in cities like Seattle. He also told me I look better in casual clothes, so I ended up in sweatpants whilst he wore polos and tailored trousers 😅
I think there is a way to be casual+ while still showing reciprocal effort for each other.
The best way to dress is to understand the room you are entering and just add small layer to what others are wearing. You won't have to ever worry about overdressing or underdressing.
the "snap back to reality" being followed by "lose yourself" at 9:56 is brilliant
So when I started dating my bf I really didn't like his clothing choices, but figured that was something I can live with and slowly change once we get married. As we've dated though he has gotten better at dressing himself. The boyfriend effect is real!
boyfriend/girlfriend effect is a REAL thing. I've been with my husband for 7 years, married 2 and just had a baby 6 months ago. I have been called "beautiful" more now than I ever did when we started dating and was wearing makeup everyday with well thought out outfits, etc. Now I'm literally in bagging t-shirts (usually covered in spit up stains or baby food lol) with biker shorts or leggings on a regular basis. This makes my husband sound so bad lol but the point I'm trying to make is that my husband thinks I'm the most beautiful when I'm all natural just being a mom and wife and I have NEVER in my life felt so confident. I no longer feel the need to dress up or that I have to look my best 24/7.
Opposite to that, my husband DOES NOT buy clothes for himself. He asks me to buy things for him, knowing that I see him in a different perspective and know how to dress his body shape and know what style looks good on him. it's W I L D.
I would say that "the girlfriend effect" also has the opposite effect. Meaning, these changes often occur after breaking up with a woman. We get motivated by the loss to better ourselves and increase our value.
Not really. If you stick a piece of cardboard under a guy's chin and ask him what he's wearing? There's like 70% odds he won't be able to tell you without looking.
Honestly, this is really wholesome as this is what relationships are about: she helps him how to look his best while he helps her feel more comfortable about who she is as a petson ❤
Bro her editor is a Team Four Star fan and it's great
Keep it up fr
As someone who is fashion-challenged. I occassionally go to my favorite hair stylist, tell her a couple of general things i like for maintain purposes, but then tell her to do what ever she likes.
I have been with my husband for ten years and have literally never had to dress him. He takes a lot of time on his style and figuring out what he likes to wear. I like to let him express himself through his clothing choices. And also I’m too busy dressing our kids. I didn’t marry a man child I married a man. And vice versa. He tells me I look nice and I wear what makes me feel good. It’s called being an adult.
I don't think it's that straightforward. The default instinct of most men is to go for comfort and utility. Style and aesthetic does not come as naturally for men as it does for women because that's just not what we're wired to value. Style in a man is a skill that has to be taught and cultivated, and I'd even go so far as to say that most of the men to whom it comes more intuitively are either more effeminate, gay, or were brought up in a more affluent, metropolitan/metrosexual cultural environment that places greater importance upon learning such behavior.
I personally agree, but many women want control and by "helping" a man level up they gain some amount of control
@Tyler_W bro, you do realize that in the 1920s the average man put 300% more effort into his clothing than the average man today, and those men had probably 3 times the testosterone men have today? It's just being lazy
Not only do they switch up their look and style, they switch up on their friends too
Yes and no, once I dress up, I really feel confident and feel good.
When I don’t get dressed in the morning I can’t even do the dishes for the day.
We want to spend time with our woman, not wait on her to do an hour’s worth of beauty prep.
This is it
Well, also, I cannot stand their perfumes, and I don't like to see all those paints and creamy substances covering their faces - looks ridiculous.
The whole thing is predicated on eyelash extensions, fake nails, tans and such looking good. A lot of dudes see that and think 'she looks insane and super high maintenance'. So if the girlfriend effect is molding men to be more appealing to women (and that's fine), then most of the alleged controlling behaviour would be effectively doing the reverse. I suspect the core of it is women are actually dressing up to maintain their social status with women.
Seems like you don't like women then buddy, nothing wrong with that. @@ThomasJohansson-mo5gf
@@victorcates9330
The irony is that actually the so called boyfriend/girlfriend effects are actually causing them to appear more like males and females do in much of the animal kingdom.
Wherein very often it is the males who are the flashy ones, and the females are the plain ones 😂
woww you are almost at 4 million subscribers that is amazinggg. well done breth.
It's so great how these couples support each other and want them to be their best selves.❤
This isn’t support- it’s codependency.
I'm not sure that's support, I know it's not reciprocal because you can never safely tell a woman what wear.
@@Voltaic_Fire True it's hard to tell if a woman wants the truth or a compliment
@@7evershocked Complements and validation. They reject everything else or label it as toxic, hate speech, misogyny etc.
The moment she started talking about her pets, I knew an ad was about to come on 😂
This is interesting! I don't know if I can speak for my husband - he already had a great sense of style when we met in my opinion. I do know for myself, not so much when we were dating, but after we got married I really did stop doing a lot of the "self care" stuff I had been in the past. Some, I would like to get back into, but it was a combination of not spending as much time on myself as I used to, and not feeling any pressure to perform or doll myself up for him. He is so accepting and encouraging even to my physical insecurities that I can just chill and be myself with him and feel 100% loved
Girl sees flawed guy she wants to date.
Girl: I can change him.
*changes him*
Girl: 😭 I want to break up. You’re not the man you were when we first started dating.
Botox-chicken-lips lady is so unbelievably full of herself. WHY does she need the same attention from other guys that she got when she wasn’t single? Being so valued no matter what by a man who loves you seems so much nicer than constantly striving for the attention of superficial strangers
Sometimes we think he will transform into a better guy, just clean him up and he'll be ok, then it's like NOPE 😂
Brett: That looks sick.
Us: Write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN!
LOL 😂😂
😂😂😂 Perfect!
it's never going to happen m8
tragic
I think it can go both ways. I dressed nice when I met my husband, but I don't think I dressed to my potential. My husband (boyfriend at the time) would suggest outfits that I didn't think I could pull off or that I didn't even consider when we would go shopping. I honestly have him to thank for the sense of style that I have today. As for him, he's always been stylish.
Your girl is a keeper. She didn't just dump your wardrobe and replace it but utilized what you had.
If a girlfriend is trying to look extra hot.. you got to wonder if she's simply trying to get attention of other guys. There's a difference between staying healthy/in shape & dolling yourself up.
I remember seeing this when it started and actually really liking it 😄 love your point here, too - it’s about listening and having a wholesome heart attitude. ☺️
in my experience “boyfriend air” has been positive! i look or think back at past style/beauty choices i made and was glad i took my boyfriends preferences into consideration, i began to see the beauty he sees, within myself. rather than perceiving his preferences as controlling or taking away from my confidence. i’ve learned to find beauty in my natural appearance much more now than i ever could.
My opinion on the "boyfriend effect" is that I personally prefer women with little to no makeup and casual clothing. Girls who put on a bunch of makeup, hooker nails, eyelash extensions, and deep tans just come across as conceited to me, or like they're trying to look the way society tells them to rather than look like themselves. Imo, if you're a young, healthy weight woman, you're likely pretty just with a shower and a comb.
Yup. Imagine the guy seeing you right after a shower and not feeling surprised, cuz you look just as pretty as you did when you went for a date lol
So glad to see another guy like this. My husband got me to stop packing on the makeup and go all natural. I didn't even wear makeup for our wedding. I still rarely wear any. 2 kids and I sometimes wear something just to balance out my skin tone because sometimes I have red splotches on my cheeks. (I'm literally the only one who notices them. Lol.) It's not even a foundation and doesn't really even change my appearance at all. And then I sometimes wear mascara. That's about it unless I get solved up to go out with hubs. More guys need to encourage natural beauty because I am 10x's more satisfied with myself because of my hubs.
@@TruckerWife A lot of men do try to encourage that but there are a F load of woman that take offence. Then start accusing the guys of being controlling. I've seen/heard plenty of women btch when men say they don't like the shoveled on make-up, the claws, the eyelashes etc.
Before I met my husband, I wore makeup all the time. I wouldn’t be caught dead without it. Now I only wear mascara.😂
I'm always reminded of that episode of Fresh prins of Bel Air where Will Smith gets locked in a freezer with his date. The entire episode is them stuck in that freezer en him realising an other bit of this girl he took on a date is fake. Her nails come off, her lashes aren't real, her hair is a wig... It's all fake. I see those girls in this video and all I think about is Will Smith... really disconcerting 😅
Alpha M and Alex Costa are the ones who taught me how to be the best version of myself. Everything I do, I do it for me. No matter if I’m single or in a relationship.
This may never see the light of day. But when I dated my bestfriend (now wife), we were complete opposites. I was over the top GQ while she was more subtle and conservative. We often had small tiffs and teased each other, taking turns with altering each others attire within reason to flip out our friends and teachers. Now. Some 15 years later, both of us are VERY BASIC yet still very much in love, bedhead and all.
That's encouraging. I hesitate to date guys who are more into fashion and trends than I am, thinking that they will use it as a reason to knock me down some. I assume they'll reject me, so I don't even go for them.
Cannot confirm or deny the effectiveness of the girlfriend affect because… because I don’t have the girlfriend unfortunately lol.
So in reality, I had feelings for this girl once and didn’t want to be a slob so I did end up fixing my self up so I had a chance. Never got a chance but I still felt the need to e better than I was for her.
I used to buy clothes for guys. It didn't really help me like them 😂
@@johnmcwick1that's good, it's always good to better yourself and if you're straight then it's likely gonna be a female that inspires you 🤯
@@terrorists-are-among-us is true, also yes I am straight lol. Ben Shapiro/Brett Shapiro was talking about it a little while ago lol
13:27 Whichever editor dropped a TFS reference deserves a raise
Tell a woman how to look, and how to dress. They would get so mad. And then break up with you.
Guys do this all of the time. Then they think they've "made" her 😂
He literally said in his video, "I asked for fashion advice"
@@dinosaur___7209 How aren't they the same?
@@SolarShadows88 guys are always trying to have a circlejerk pity party. I am a VIIIIIIIICTIM! 🤡
@@dinosaur___7209*Guys not wanting their girl to look like whores for other men*
"aBuSiVe!!"
foh
As a girl who dislikes wearing makeup, I welcome the boyfriend effect. I have better things to focus my time and energy on than fake eyelashes. And I like being able to rub my eyes whenever one of my real eye lashes gets in them.
it can go both ways, I tend to lose myself in relationships & quit trying so I avoid them
As always, leading by example, Brett always dresses lovely ✨
🤣🤣😂😭😭wt
I simply loved the white color and the sleeve length.
She's said before her staff dresses her otherwise she would wear all black.💀
My boyfriend just wants to be in sweats all day 😂 but on the other hand, I want to be in heels
Why not both?
The way I see it for myself is I put more effort in to show respect for my partner. To put my best foot forward for them. No one tells me how to look or makes me. I put forth effort because I care. I care to be my best self.
Yes. During our first date, he was dressed simply but passable, then on our second date, he dressed much better. I told him I liked the clothes he wore on our second date and he didn't mind upping his wardrobe because I said I liked it. Just the other day he even sent me a picture of his new, shorter haircut.
Now I'm not sure about the other girls, but the boyfriend effect is a positive thing for me. Because I'm the type who also dresses simply. Now, I finally go on shopping trips and search for clothes that better suit me in respect to my man who was willing to do the same effort and changes as me.
It sounds like you have something healthy. We should always be encouraging our partners to grow in every way. I'm happy for you! 🥰
Even my cat loves watching Brett Cooper!
The way Bret move so smoothly to that sponsor is wild.
I remember this quote I saw somewhere years ago.
“Always dress like you might meet the love of your life.”
So that’s affected how I put myself together since. Nothing over-the-top for the occasion but never goblin mode either.
In a way, you don’t need a girlfriend to get the “girlfriend effect.” You should always dress to impress, even minimally. Don’t go to the grocery store in your pajamas. Take your bonnet or durag off. Don’t wear clothes with stains or bleach marks (unless the purpose is to get dirty).
No matter the occasion. Make an effort to look presentable on an appropriate level.
Do it before you get married, my husband still won’t stop wearing his slob shorts in public . But now won’t wear them in the house cos he knows I don’t like them 😂
I've liced by that saying too. Always dress for who you want to meet. You never know who you'll run in to.
My ex wife drove me bonkers when we were dating, moved in together. She always thought she had to look "her best" 24/7. Her best was coming to bed with full make up on. My pillowcases looked like a paint pallette. She was scared I wouldn't find her attractive au natural
Honestly someone wearing excessive make up is just a red flag to me cause like, what are you covering up, what are you hiding.
@@TainyaGaming she had been born almost completely deaf, very self-conscious
The first guy went from looking gay to looking normal
😂
How did that dude even dress like that to begin with lmao. I just dress clean and clean myself and like girls who do the same haha. Some of these people take it too far for me with the amount of effort they put into every little thing. Once it hits a point 'high maintenance' is like a beacon you can see from space. If someone is going out to get extensions and all the nails and all the lashes and all of that other stuff hell to the no.
as a single person as long as i don’t look homeless i’m good 🤷♂️
Okay Brett, I’m convinced. You can be my girlfriend.
I'll dress the way my gf wants ...the day she starts dressing the way I would prefer (neither of those is going to happen). Oddly enough, I used to dress very "well" when I was around 23 or so, the closer I got to 30 the more I started to wonder "why?"... truth be told it was mostly to impress and get dates, over time I switched to dressing comfortable and honestly, feels much better.
I've come to find that a lot of the "Improvements" some relationship bring are superficial and all about status / validation ... I would love to have my gf to always keep me motivated to keep studying, working out, learning useful skills, cooking / eating better even and all that good stuff.... but to bother me about fashion choices? I'm good.
I do however always smell good and keep myself in shape.
Girlfriend effect = emotional blackmail, emotional beat down, a changed man aka a hostage who is denied sexual intimacy until he is changed to an unrecognizable POW ( prisoner of a woman)
These are only jokes. Calm down*
#ButNotReally 💊
this channel keeps reminding me how much I love this channel. yeah,and how Breth has such a beautiful view of life.
I’ve seen men being led around by their wives; being told what to buy, try on & wear. It’s disgusting. MEN- TEACH YOUR SONS HOW TO DRESS! Getting tips from a girlfriend is one thing but don’t let a woman mold you into what she wants. Why not? Because a part of her will never respect you & she’ll always feel like she can have her way.
if your woman becomes what you want her to be, will you stop respecting her?
More than that, she will start to feel in the back of her mind that she is basically mothering you.
That will not end well.
Also women’s opinions on men’s clothes aren’t that great from my experience. Men need to find what they look good in and what they’re comfortable with.
@@dian277 Of course but you usually respect someone more when they have a sense of self & can make basic adult decisions on their own.
So it was the reverse for me. I looked like a freaking hobbit until I got a bf. Then he started buying me cute clothes and no he wasn’t controllingd, but I realized he has fashion sense! Totally changed my life! Now we’re married and I almost always take him shopping with me. ❤️
The ruff greens transitions are getting better and better
Imagine if a man tried telling (or "suggesting" until they submit) a woman what to wear and how to look, the man would end the day dead or single.
My guy gives me suggestions for clothes all the time. And even sometimes I buy them. I'm not super into clothes like most women though and he's a designer.
Having experienced the “boyfriend effect” I sincerely believe it’s based on how healthy you’re relationship is and whether you’re with the right person. Meaning, are they supporting you to be better or do they not care at all. When it’s unhealthy and unhappy you don’t care who you look good for
YOUR* NOT YOU'RE
I somewhat disagree. It may not be the healthiest to not take your fashion and looks very seriously, but people tend to be happier when they feel like they can dress however they want and still be accepted
“We’re not getting the attention we deserve” basically spoke for every modern woman in America. Desperate for attention from strangers rather than her loved one 🤡
That's my first thought too
Exactly. No one “deserves” attention. Lady needs a cold shower and a Bible.
100% this
Boyfriend effect actually had a really positive effect on me once. My at the time boyfriend said that I looked beautiful without makeup. My skin during that relationship ended up clearing up like crazy, I was eating healthier and I even started working out. He also started looking nicer as well by dressing up better and getting more frequent haircuts. We started dating each other originally because we were best friends and got along really well. As long as you feel good in the relationship, supporting each other’s goals in life & you two are making each other better people, nothing else matters
In my experience with the whole “boyfriend air” thing, the difference is that we women feel beautiful when we’re all done up, with the glam and all the things, but men love natural beauty (emphasis on beauty - taking care of yourself is still important and plays a role on how attractive you are, but it’s a different kind of care). I’m married and not trying to attract anyone, but I still like to look good, and I always notice that I get more “looks” and male compliments when I’m just out with no make-up, natural hair, and a nice modest sundress or something (mind you, I still look put together, just not with the make-up and the lashes and the xyz). Men really don’t like all the extra stuff (at least not in the way that it counts - they might want to sleep with you because of all that glam, but will not necessarily want to be with you).