How to Change Your Life | ځان څنګه بدل کړو؟

7 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
1. DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
A lot of people get stuck when they try to change their lives because they don’t know “where to start” or “what to do.” The simple answer is: to do something-anything, really.
The motivation to do anything-like change your entire life around-doesn’t just come from some magical, mystical place within you. Action is both the effect of motivation and the cause of it. You’ll figure out whether or not it’s right or not in good time (trust me), but only if you stop procrastinating and start engaging with the world.
I call this The “Do Something” Principle. And I developed it by accident back in my years as a consultant, helping people who were otherwise immobilized by fears, rationalizations, and apathy to take action.
It began out of simple pragmatism: you paid me to be here so you might as well do something. I don’t care, do anything!
What I found is that often once they did something, even the smallest of actions, it would soon give them the inspiration and motivation to do something else. They had sent a signal to themselves, “OK, I did that, I guess I can do more.” And slowly we could take it from there.
If you want to change your life, don’t set out to accomplish all you’ve ever dreamed of. That is daunting and demotivating. Just do a small action that nudges you in the right direction, anything.
Have to redesign an entire website? Sit down and design the header. About to tackle a large project? Start on the outline. Want to make friends in a foreign country? Go out for a beer and see what happens.
These small actions will spur you on to do more, and before you know it you’ll have accomplished the goals that initially seemed so daunting. You’ve changed your life for the better.
2. RECOGNIZE THAT EVERYTHING YOU DO HAS A COST-BE WILLING TO PAY IT
A lot of life ultimately amounts to a series of tradeoffs. Everything has an opportunity cost, and the big things we want in life-like happiness and healthy relationships and wealth-they all have big opportunity costs. You don’t get to have the dream career at the top without putting in your time at the bottom, then taking a risk or twelve and breaking a few hearts along the way.
So the most important question you can ask yourself isn’t about what you want, it’s about what you’re willing suffer for. As I’ve previously said, doing what you love is not always loving what you do. So what kind of shit sandwich can you stomach? And-importantly-do you even really want your dream in first place?
For most of my adolescence and young adulthood, I fantasized about being a musician-a rock star, in particular. Any badass guitar song I heard, I would always close my eyes and envision myself up onstage playing it to the screams of the crowd, people absolutely losing their minds to my sweet finger-noodling.
This fantasy could keep me occupied for hours on end. The fantasizing continued through college, even after I dropped out of music school and stopped playing seriously.
But even then it was never a question of if I’d ever be up playing in front of screaming crowds, but when. I was biding my time before I could invest the proper amount of time and effort into getting out there and making it work. First, I needed to finish school. Then, I needed to make money. Then, I needed to find the time. Then… nothing.
Despite fantasizing about this for over half of my life, the reality never came. And it took me a long time and a lot of negative experiences to finally figure out why: I didn’t actually want it.
3. EMBRACE THE FACT THAT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT
Look, I know you were told that you’re a special little snowflake in a sea of otherwise normal people, but I have some bad news for you: very few people actually give a shit about you because you’re actually not all that special (that, and people are too concerned with themselves to begin with).
But before you hit the back button on your browser, I want you to consider just how liberating that is: No one gives a shit. You are free to do whatever the hell you want and no one will care if you fail spectacularly. If anything, they’ll respect you more (for like, 5 seconds and then they’ll go back to posting selfies on Instagram).
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Doctor Shekib
Neuropsychiatrist, Journalist and Author
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