Why isn't stuff like mindfulness and impulse-control being taught in school? I think we would live in a much saner society if education encompassed fields of thought that go beyond simply memorizing facts for the test on friday.
Micah Buzan i suspect religions very early influence on schooling might be one reason. The only type of meditation they push for is prayer. Just my opinion
livee in Denmark Europa and we are very secular and have very little / no religious influence in our school. still the subjects is not beeing thought in school, but i do believe it will be introduced within the next 10-20 years.
1. Shoes when and for what you become emotional about. 2. Be able how to act when you are emotional We are not programmed to do these things easily... So how to become better at this ? Problem 1 : Step 1 : Make a diary of when you become emotional. Write it down in detail. Do this for 1 month. Look through it and identify "what are the things that are causing you to be emotional". Identify redundant causes. Draw red circle around inappropriate responses. Now you are equipped. you know what the triggers are. Use it to prevent situations. Step 2 : Increase the gap between impulse and action. Try to spot the impulse arising before you act. This is not easy for most. Use Mindfulness meditation your ability to pay attention, it will help you increase that gap over time. You will get better over time with practice. 1. Trigger diary to identify triggers 2. Expand the gap between triggers and action Problem 2 : How to become aware of it when I am in an emotional response. Step 1 : Watch the other person's face for sign that they are not comfortable with your behavior Step 2 : Scan your physiology to see if you're feeling different physically, hinting at an emotion. Bring the unique sensation of your emotion to your consciousnesses. Learn to have choice & knowledge ! Good luck
What if you manage to master the technique some' then others read your facial expressions 'confused' they become angry.. even good change brings a trade off..💨💨
About time information like this is starting to circulate on RUclips. These kinds of techniques are essential to anyone wishing to be a rational human being.
100% agreed. Also, suppressing feelings can have very detrimental effects on mental health. Sometimes it's better to let it out so people notice they can't go there. There's nothing wrong with feelings, we should allow them.
I have the opposite problem. I don't get emotional in front of people, even though it may be something I care about or I find unpleasant. Then I get retrospectively angry/ annoyed/ embarrassed etc and wished I reacted the way I felt on the spot so people knew exactly how I felt. I'm too good at keeping up the 'calm facade'.
franklyspeaking Same here. I'm thinking...do the same thing, but opposite. Do the diary for everytime you wished you said/did something. And decrease the impulse action time. But Idk. Just a suggestion.
Haha exactly. That's a nice way to decrease the impulse action time. I will try to work out better and more sophisticated methods in my laboratory and let you know if I find it.
Mr. Paul Ekman. Thank you very much for your precious tips. They´ve helped me a lot. I´ve followed them and I have called off my emotional attack dogs at last. t´s really impressive how well your tips work!!! Just a few steps and I finally got a result that I´d been looking for for two decades at least. Thanks a lot!!!
ive been so angry lately, and almost depressed when i wake up. Its been weird. I have confidence in the advice from this video im headin to work with a smile. Im gonna take your sound advice thank you for your wise words.
It is if you think of it. But most of us don't and never even try it. It helps to be reminded sometimes. Also many people have a basic concept of this but need to hear it articulated for it to be a complete idea in their head.
Useful intro to mindfulness. While awareness generally produces compassion and empathy, it's not alway so. That's why in the Buddha's wisdom, mindfulness was one of the eightfold path which leads individuals & society out of suffering. The other steps on the path deal more clearly with ethics; right view, right thinking, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right concentration. Together, all 8 steps on the path lead to liberation and happiness.
Paul Ekman is arguably the most brilliant living behavioral scientists out there. He proved basic emotions to be universal and mapped out thousands of emotional expressions under the scientific method. He even had a TV show 'Lie to me" based on his talents, created. Listen to this man. He knows what he his talking about more on this subject more than near anyone.
This guy is great. Fantastic video. Chances are, if you find this video pointless, you are easily offended and are most often condescending on the internet and real life. Needless to say, you haven't the slightest clue the joys of controlling emotion.
This is completely true, I know because I learned all these techniques to control my emotions and the experiences and details he went into are exactly the same as the ones I had. I learned to control my emotions through hard work, it's made it easier to control the things that happen to my life.
This guy is awesome! I read one of his books and saw the TV series that used his information while it was still on air, it was awesome. If you see this BigThink, we need more Paul Ekman!!!
I 100% agree, my disagreement isn't about the goals but ways to reach them. Paul Ekman is making the assumption that this will be an effective treatment for everyone. When people talk about particular treatments, they're usually talking about the successes rather than the failures (which often go undocumented because there's very little reward for publishing them). It's completely possible, even likely, that some people could be worse off after the kind of intervention that he's describing.
CBT and his methods intervene in two different steps along the arising of an emotion. the process is: stimuli/trigger->automatic assessment(other words also used)->emotion->appraisal->reaction. CBT happens after the initial appraisal and before the reaction. Ekmans method comes in after the trigger, but before the assessment is done. that happens much faster than the appraisal process, which is why you need to be able to predict when you'll experience an emotion and its harder to learn.
I'm dealing with the same issue. What you and I are experiencing is called "dissassociation", or "desensitization". You need to go from desensitizing yourself from your emotions, to feeling them (in which state they may still overwhelm you and cause you to involuntarily respond in negative ways, such as lashing out in anger at people), to THEN what this video is talking about, controlling them. My next comment will give some suggestions on what you can do to be 'sensitised' again.
I did this many years ago, through a self realization of my outlandish anger issues. I have become a totally different person and I wish that everyone could find the serenity that I have found. Good Luck to those that try.
I used to be very explosive "a attack dog" which got me into a lot o very unpleasant situations, i remember triying yoga, meditation and so on, which did not directly help me out, i remember thinking "no matter how emotional or angry i got in the past, i am ok now, nothing really hurted me"... So i realized that at least for me that some emotions are irrelevant or useless under some circunstances. just keep calm and carry on
I started learning about this stuff some years ago, and the conclusions I've arrived at so far have been almost as good as what this guy says. The first thing to do is buy a book about how brains work (get something by a neuroscientist, not some talking head.) That's the step psychologists always miss! I also recommend Don Miguel Ruiz's "Agreements" series, and Carnegie's "How to Win Friends" book. They're a great way to start recognizing limiting beliefs, and letting yourself relax internally.
If you ever read this. Please. Translate CC to spanish (or any other language) these tips are so important to apply on daily life but a lot of people I know can't get to this information, and I believe It's a treasure to humanity anything that help us be aware of our emotions and to learn how to control them so we can relate in another level.
Hi Kenji. The thing with mindfulness is not emotional suppression or expression. It is a third option that involves observing emotion directly, with clarity and without judgement. There is not enough time to explain it in 500 characters, but you can find stuff on youtube about it. Also the book, Mindfulness in Plain English is good too. :) It has helped me greatly. peace :)
That is such a great argument. Maybe I have chosen the wrong words to describe the information that I want to deliver to you. A sociopath may lack SOME emotions (mostly the positive kind, such as love, joy, comfort, safety) because of a great amount of bad emotions. They are overwhelmed by negative emotions. For such a person it would be the first step towards a "cure" if that person was given a way to overcome their hatred, frustration, loneliness (yes these are emotions, too) etc.
I'll listen to anyone that sounds like they're talking with ten cheese burgers in his mouth and slowly falling asleep at the same time. My emotions are at %100! Thanks Paul! You da best.
I love this guy! He's like a father giving avice to a child! Very "matter of fact " approach. Simply put. I appreciate that! Check yourself, b4 u wreck yourself!
Very good advice Thank You. One thing that sets me off is being verbally attacked & some people do that all the time whether they realize it or not. If they are family then they can't be totally avoided. I don't want to become numb from having to deal with that. What kind of advice do you have concerning appropriateness of reactions?
Yes, this is directed more towards the feeling types, but I believe this has more to do the unwanted emotional reactions. He even talks about picking out the emotional reactions that you do not want and finding out what triggers them. Thinking types could use the same sort of analysis in regards to sharing emotion with others. I don't see either of those ideas as damaging humanity, but rather a chance to grow emotionally and improve relationships.
I think the idea is that remaining calm gives you more options when dealing with something stressful. If I'm furious, I'm not going to be solving problems, I am going to try and satisfy my ego the best I can.
Not annoyed, just pointing it out so that he knows. I would also like to point out that Ekman is quite a compassionate and empathetic person; just because one doesn't let their negative emotions hamper their life doesn't mean that don't know them or enjoy the others.
You're absolutely right, but personally, I have good conditions for it not to affect my life negatively since I leave it until I know that I'll be alone for the rest of the day and have no more work to be done so I have a chance to self reflect and tame those emotions of mine. But thank you for bringing that point up! It's one that gets ignored far too often (from what I see that is)
As someone whose followed his work since the early 2000's, I'm so happy he's reached at least 350,000 people with this video alone. but its also discouraging because his works and practices should be more well known. I wish he'd just get on Joe Rogan or something so people can start focusing on their emotional attentiveness as a daily, natural thing! I hope for mindfulness and peace for you all!
This isn't for everybody. You absolutely need to be dedicated to this advice, and will probably help people who aren't good at controlling their emotions. His advice seems best to allowing people to recognize their emotions.
He's not suggesting controlling all emotions all the time, he very specifically says "sometimes we become emotional about things that we don't think merit becoming emotional, or we act in a way that we don't approve of afterwards." He's talking about learning to identify those specific triggers, not avoiding all emotion. There are plenty of situations that merit an emotional response and where an emotional response is good.
For people with emotional problems, like PTSD, many times there are still similar things that set it off, but they're more obscure, this just adds an extra step, instead of being able to look at it and say "Oh ok that makes me angry" you have to find out what the connection is to the thing that caused the emotional trauma in the first place, but unfortunately this makes it impossible to predict when something could trigger you, so you have to get really good at step 2.
This is Vipassana by the way. It is the meditation technique handed down by Gautam Buddha 2500 years ago and you can practise this in various centers around the world. It is incredibly hard but it is worth the try.
Everything that goes into your brain gets assed emotionally first. He is right on the money. Studies have found that people have emotional, and physical responses based on those emotions, before their higher brain even can determine what is up. It is very primordial. It is very hard to counter millions of years of evolutionary design. Your body has to be in the fight or flight mode way before your prefrontal cortex determines if you should fight or flee.
I understand what you're saying. Reason. Nothing to do with Emotion... Philosophy... Nothing to do with emotion in its rawest form... Ethics, A matter of HUMAN Opinion... I Understand where you're going. However, THINK OUT OF THE BOX...
Thank you so much for making this video! It´s amazing and I can tell he knows what he´s talking about. There is a lot of bs around about this topic. Thank youa again, liked and suscribed.
I work customer service which can at times be the worst, for example, I would say, "Hi, how's it going?" to a customer. They won't even reply, and just say their order. Too bad I enjoy my job so I can't react to my impulse, so my delay time has grown like he said. I'm very good at staying calm and not reacting to my emotions.
I figured this stuff out when I was in my teens. Result = I don't react to situations like everyone else, and for the minor benefit of being cool in a crisis, most of the time I'm the odd man out in social situations. Not to mention relationships. Constantly analyzing your emotions pretty much negates primal passionate responses. You do it for long enough it's impossible to turn off, I wish I could. Unless you have serious rage issues I do not recommend this.
Random things sometimes move me deeply. Annoying in social situations and bad in professional situations as I choke up and my eyes fill with tears. It often happens when I'm telling someone about the thing that moves me, but I don't realise until my throat closes up that's it's going to have that effect. If I knew what my triggers are I'd steer clear of those topics, and the suggested method in the video could be useful for me. I am not, however 'a person with no self-control'.
What about for some people who naturally have that impulse control? I don't ALWAYS have impulse control over my anger but I do feel my anger coming sometimes and just stop it without any techniques etc.
He did say that some people naturally have a larger than normal gap between feeling and reacting. If you have that disposition, it is probably easier for you to control yourself. Just natural human variation. The question is, do you want to take the next step?
Same here Donno why but I started studying my own behaviour patterns at a very young age maybe because of the abuse I go through ... But I studied myself to get a better control over my emotions ... Sad part people think I am emotionless !!😑😑
People need to be taught this stuff. It needs to be taught to kids in school. At the moment many people associate this kind of stuff with middle aged ladies in communities centers with not much else to do.
He's right, but it doesn't take nearly as long to control it than he suggests. I did it in about a month or two, not 6. I started controlling my emotions 5 years ago and at this point I don't even have to try.
I felt this was really true to me. Not getting angry but impulsiveness - whether it is having a good time and deciding to continue that good time by getting drunk and high out in London town or gambling. Impulsiveness is what gets me in situations I regret. I find it very difficult to give my self a red card, quit and go to bed. The impulsiveness is also however what makes me fun, full of life and a character sometimes. Want to learn to harness this energy instead of feeling this well being and self destructing. Just putting my thought to words. Just feel I have so much more potential that is not bieng realised because of my impulsiveness... Oh well - lets do it together if we can!
either that, or recognize that there are two entities in your life. you and EVERYTHING ELSE in the world. you can't get any emotion from the outside unless you let it get to you
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This is easy. Just go to Settings, System, open Emotions, open Properties and set Emotions to off.
Haha, good one! :D
I lost my manual. 😁 I didn't get updated either.
Is this still working after the new update?
Haha😂😂
Ha ha ha..
individuals doing this kind of work on emotional balance and mindfulness aren't just benefiting themselves, but all they interact with
I agree. Emotional health is spontaneity
Why isn't stuff like mindfulness and impulse-control being taught in school? I think we would live in a much saner society if education encompassed fields of thought that go beyond simply memorizing facts for the test on friday.
More and more it is. Hopefully the momentum continues!
Micah Buzan we are in a world where people put emotional comfort over rationality.
Micah Buzan i suspect religions very early influence on schooling might be one reason. The only type of meditation they push for is prayer. Just my opinion
livee in Denmark Europa and we are very secular and have very little / no religious influence in our school. still the subjects is not beeing thought in school, but i do believe it will be introduced within the next 10-20 years.
Micah Buzan Mindfulness and Vipassana meditation are being taught in school colleges and universities in the U.K. Australia and New Zealand
1. Shoes when and for what you become emotional about.
2. Be able how to act when you are emotional
We are not programmed to do these things easily...
So how to become better at this ?
Problem 1 :
Step 1 :
Make a diary of when you become emotional. Write it down in detail. Do this for 1 month. Look through it and identify "what are the things that are causing you to be emotional". Identify redundant causes. Draw red circle around inappropriate responses.
Now you are equipped. you know what the triggers are. Use it to prevent situations.
Step 2 :
Increase the gap between impulse and action. Try to spot the impulse arising before you act. This is not easy for most. Use Mindfulness meditation your ability to pay attention, it will help you increase that gap over time. You will get better over time with practice.
1. Trigger diary to identify triggers
2. Expand the gap between triggers and action
Problem 2 :
How to become aware of it when I am in an emotional response.
Step 1 :
Watch the other person's face for sign that they are not comfortable with your behavior
Step 2 :
Scan your physiology to see if you're feeling different physically, hinting at an emotion. Bring the unique sensation of your emotion to your consciousnesses.
Learn to have choice & knowledge !
Good luck
Choose*
Thank you.
What if you manage to master the technique some' then others read your facial expressions 'confused' they become angry.. even good change brings a trade off..💨💨
About time information like this is starting to circulate on RUclips. These kinds of techniques are essential to anyone wishing to be a rational human being.
100% agreed. Also, suppressing feelings can have very detrimental effects on mental health. Sometimes it's better to let it out so people notice they can't go there. There's nothing wrong with feelings, we should allow them.
There are too many people in the world that need to see and contemplate this little lecture.
I have the opposite problem. I don't get emotional in front of people, even though it may be something I care about or I find unpleasant. Then I get retrospectively angry/ annoyed/ embarrassed etc and wished I reacted the way I felt on the spot so people knew exactly how I felt. I'm too good at keeping up the 'calm facade'.
franklyspeaking Same here. I'm thinking...do the same thing, but opposite. Do the diary for everytime you wished you said/did something. And decrease the impulse action time.
But Idk. Just a suggestion.
Haha exactly. That's a nice way to decrease the impulse action time. I will try to work out better and more sophisticated methods in my laboratory and let you know if I find it.
You have social anxiety disorder. You need medication and professional help.
Irwin Wade nice diagnosis based on what?
same
MORE PAUL ECKMAN PLEASE!!! This dude truly knows what he is talking about!!
Event ---> Thoughts / Past Experiences ---> Feelings. Great video in helping us and put into context what is needed for managing our feelings. THANKS!
Mr. Paul Ekman. Thank you very much for your precious tips. They´ve helped me a lot. I´ve followed them and I have called off my emotional attack dogs at last. t´s really impressive how well your tips work!!! Just a few steps and I finally got a result that I´d been looking for for two decades at least. Thanks a lot!!!
Holy crap. This guy is godlike. Spot on, can totally relate to what he's saying.
ive been so angry lately, and almost depressed when i wake up. Its been weird. I have confidence in the advice from this video im headin to work with a smile. Im gonna take your sound advice thank you for your wise words.
It is if you think of it. But most of us don't and never even try it. It helps to be reminded sometimes. Also many people have a basic concept of this but need to hear it articulated for it to be a complete idea in their head.
Useful intro to mindfulness. While awareness generally produces compassion and empathy, it's not alway so. That's why in the Buddha's wisdom, mindfulness was one of the eightfold path which leads individuals & society out of suffering. The other steps on the path deal more clearly with ethics; right view, right thinking, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right concentration. Together, all 8 steps on the path lead to liberation and happiness.
Great video, makes so much sense and simple to follow.
I love this, thank you Paul Eckman for offering these tools in layman's terms. Love it.
Paul Ekman is arguably the most brilliant living behavioral scientists out there. He proved basic emotions to be universal and mapped out thousands of emotional expressions under the scientific method. He even had a TV show 'Lie to me" based on his talents, created. Listen to this man. He knows what he his talking about more on this subject more than near anyone.
True.. I Agree with your closing words... Love is Far Easier than Violence...
Good explanation of how to create “the habit of mindfulness.”
This guy is great. Fantastic video. Chances are, if you find this video pointless, you are easily offended and are most often condescending on the internet and real life. Needless to say, you haven't the slightest clue the joys of controlling emotion.
I found this extremely helpful. Thanks Paul Ekman!
This is completely true, I know because I learned all these techniques to control my emotions and the experiences and details he went into are exactly the same as the ones I had. I learned to control my emotions through hard work, it's made it easier to control the things that happen to my life.
This guy is awesome! I read one of his books and saw the TV series that used his information while it was still on air, it was awesome. If you see this BigThink, we need more Paul Ekman!!!
Another great video. Thanks!
Absolutely wonderful. And his voice is like gravy
Judging by his utter lack of emotion in making this video.... I would say that he is a master!
I 100% agree, my disagreement isn't about the goals but ways to reach them. Paul Ekman is making the assumption that this will be an effective treatment for everyone. When people talk about particular treatments, they're usually talking about the successes rather than the failures (which often go undocumented because there's very little reward for publishing them). It's completely possible, even likely, that some people could be worse off after the kind of intervention that he's describing.
great lesson for me in particular I am very emotional. Thanks !
Wow. What a brilliant video. Thank you.
CBT and his methods intervene in two different steps along the arising of an emotion. the process is: stimuli/trigger->automatic assessment(other words also used)->emotion->appraisal->reaction. CBT happens after the initial appraisal and before the reaction. Ekmans method comes in after the trigger, but before the assessment is done. that happens much faster than the appraisal process, which is why you need to be able to predict when you'll experience an emotion and its harder to learn.
Great system , thank you .
Very good, thank you.
I'm dealing with the same issue. What you and I are experiencing is called "dissassociation", or "desensitization".
You need to go from desensitizing yourself from your emotions, to feeling them (in which state they may still overwhelm you and cause you to involuntarily respond in negative ways, such as lashing out in anger at people), to THEN what this video is talking about, controlling them.
My next comment will give some suggestions on what you can do to be 'sensitised' again.
This is so beautifully explained.I got everything sir spoke about....Brilliant
I could listen to him all day long.
I did this many years ago, through a self realization of my outlandish anger issues. I have become a totally different person and I wish that everyone could find the serenity that I have found. Good Luck to those that try.
I used to be very explosive "a attack dog" which got me into a lot o very unpleasant situations, i remember triying yoga, meditation and so on, which did not directly help me out, i remember thinking "no matter how emotional or angry i got in the past, i am ok now, nothing really hurted me"... So i realized that at least for me that some emotions are irrelevant or useless under some circunstances. just keep calm and carry on
THANK YOU FOR THE TRANSCRIPT!!!!!!
I started learning about this stuff some years ago, and the conclusions I've arrived at so far have been almost as good as what this guy says. The first thing to do is buy a book about how brains work (get something by a neuroscientist, not some talking head.) That's the step psychologists always miss! I also recommend Don Miguel Ruiz's "Agreements" series, and Carnegie's "How to Win Friends" book. They're a great way to start recognizing limiting beliefs, and letting yourself relax internally.
If you ever read this. Please. Translate CC to spanish (or any other language) these tips are so important to apply on daily life but a lot of people I know can't get to this information, and I believe It's a treasure to humanity anything that help us be aware of our emotions and to learn how to control them so we can relate in another level.
Fantonomisk talk. Thanks so much
Hi Kenji. The thing with mindfulness is not emotional suppression or expression. It is a third option that involves observing emotion directly, with clarity and without judgement. There is not enough time to explain it in 500 characters, but you can find stuff on youtube about it. Also the book, Mindfulness in Plain English is good too. :) It has helped me greatly. peace :)
Kenji?
You're not limited to 500 characters. This is RUclips
That is such a great argument.
Maybe I have chosen the wrong words to describe the information that I want to deliver to you. A sociopath may lack SOME emotions (mostly the positive kind, such as love, joy, comfort, safety) because of a great amount of bad emotions. They are overwhelmed by negative emotions. For such a person it would be the first step towards a "cure" if that person was given a way to overcome their hatred, frustration, loneliness (yes these are emotions, too) etc.
I'll listen to anyone that sounds like they're talking with ten cheese burgers in his mouth and slowly falling asleep at the same time. My emotions are at %100! Thanks Paul! You da best.
I very much like what Paul said in this clip. And that's all I'll say for now.
I love this guy! He's like a father giving avice to a child! Very "matter of fact " approach. Simply put. I appreciate that! Check yourself, b4 u wreck yourself!
Very good advice Thank You. One thing that sets me off is being verbally attacked & some people do that all the time whether they realize it or not. If they are family then they can't be totally avoided. I don't want to become numb from having to deal with that. What kind of advice do you have concerning appropriateness of reactions?
That eye contact doe
no
Scrolled down for this
does this also work for controlling anxiety?
it would be good if i could manage my social anxiety using this technique..
+MrBibibip Yes. It will. A negative emotion or using it in a destructive way or letting it control you - it will work.
Yes, this is directed more towards the feeling types, but I believe this has more to do the unwanted emotional reactions. He even talks about picking out the emotional reactions that you do not want and finding out what triggers them.
Thinking types could use the same sort of analysis in regards to sharing emotion with others.
I don't see either of those ideas as damaging humanity, but rather a chance to grow emotionally and improve relationships.
I did this, basically numbed my senses and led me into depression. Interesting, but something I wouldn't do again if I had the chance.
This was really helpful
I think the idea is that remaining calm gives you more options when dealing with something stressful. If I'm furious, I'm not going to be solving problems, I am going to try and satisfy my ego the best I can.
Thank you. Interesting and very practical. I will try to work with myself
PLEASE MORE!!!
Big Think is so good right now.
This could've been summed up by saying "drop you ego". Emotion is the derivation of ego.
Stuart Hicks The problem is that it is not easy to drop the ego. For me regular meditation helps to keep the ego under control.
Valid critique and concern dude. I feel ya.
Not annoyed, just pointing it out so that he knows.
I would also like to point out that Ekman is quite a compassionate and empathetic person; just because one doesn't let their negative emotions hamper their life doesn't mean that don't know them or enjoy the others.
we need more information on this plz
thank you so much!
this dudes awesome. theres something about him for sure
You're absolutely right, but personally, I have good conditions for it not to affect my life negatively since I leave it until I know that I'll be alone for the rest of the day and have no more work to be done so I have a chance to self reflect and tame those emotions of mine. But thank you for bringing that point up! It's one that gets ignored far too often (from what I see that is)
As someone whose followed his work since the early 2000's, I'm so happy he's reached at least 350,000 people with this video alone. but its also discouraging because his works and practices should be more well known. I wish he'd just get on Joe Rogan or something so people can start focusing on their emotional attentiveness as a daily, natural thing! I hope for mindfulness and peace for you all!
Cool! I use mobile app In Flow to track down my emotions and better understand myself
Good idea!
Great Ideas
You Are the Best господин Paul
This isn't for everybody. You absolutely need to be dedicated to this advice, and will probably help people who aren't good at controlling their emotions. His advice seems best to allowing people to recognize their emotions.
Too true man, you're not alone.
He's not suggesting controlling all emotions all the time, he very specifically says "sometimes we become emotional about things that we don't think merit becoming emotional, or we act in a way that we don't approve of afterwards." He's talking about learning to identify those specific triggers, not avoiding all emotion. There are plenty of situations that merit an emotional response and where an emotional response is good.
I have almost no feelings day in and day out one way or other. I like it.
I like this guy! I Love mindfulness!
this is just what I was looking for, really good advice
Awesome. Ty
For people with emotional problems, like PTSD, many times there are still similar things that set it off, but they're more obscure, this just adds an extra step, instead of being able to look at it and say "Oh ok that makes me angry" you have to find out what the connection is to the thing that caused the emotional trauma in the first place, but unfortunately this makes it impossible to predict when something could trigger you, so you have to get really good at step 2.
This is Vipassana by the way. It is the meditation technique handed down by Gautam Buddha 2500 years ago and you can practise this in various centers around the world. It is incredibly hard but it is worth the try.
ha! I am taking a course in Positive Psychology right now, and I was thinking the same exact thing!
Everything that goes into your brain gets assed emotionally first. He is right on the money. Studies have found that people have emotional, and physical responses based on those emotions, before their higher brain even can determine what is up. It is very primordial. It is very hard to counter millions of years of evolutionary design. Your body has to be in the fight or flight mode way before your prefrontal cortex determines if you should fight or flee.
I understand what you're saying. Reason. Nothing to do with Emotion... Philosophy... Nothing to do with emotion in its rawest form... Ethics, A matter of HUMAN Opinion... I Understand where you're going. However, THINK OUT OF THE BOX...
Lets all give in to anger and impulse! Live for today!
Thank you so much for making this video! It´s amazing and I can tell he knows what he´s talking about. There is a lot of bs around about this topic. Thank youa again, liked and suscribed.
Got it, thank you, and you are also, I can see, a very giving and nice person.
I like him, he is good.
thank you sir for this advise....needed it so bad.
Thanks a lot, I did that, and was and is great.
Que enseñanza, este vídeo me ayudó con Inteligencia emocional.
I work customer service which can at times be the worst, for example, I would say, "Hi, how's it going?" to a customer. They won't even reply, and just say their order. Too bad I enjoy my job so I can't react to my impulse, so my delay time has grown like he said. I'm very good at staying calm and not reacting to my emotions.
Thank u
I figured this stuff out when I was in my teens. Result = I don't react to situations like everyone else, and for the minor benefit of being cool in a crisis, most of the time I'm the odd man out in social situations. Not to mention relationships. Constantly analyzing your emotions pretty much negates primal passionate responses. You do it for long enough it's impossible to turn off, I wish I could. Unless you have serious rage issues I do not recommend this.
Random things sometimes move me deeply. Annoying in social situations and bad in professional situations as I choke up and my eyes fill with tears. It often happens when I'm telling someone about the thing that moves me, but I don't realise until my throat closes up that's it's going to have that effect. If I knew what my triggers are I'd steer clear of those topics, and the suggested method in the video could be useful for me. I am not, however 'a person with no self-control'.
Very good technique to combat road rage.
Anne C i need this immediately
What about for some people who naturally have that impulse control? I don't ALWAYS have impulse control over my anger but I do feel my anger coming sometimes and just stop it without any techniques etc.
You might actually be a genius then.
Astral Flux Or you were raise with other emotional coping skills that you are unaware of using, if so, kudos to whomever raised you.
He did say that some people naturally have a larger than normal gap between feeling and reacting. If you have that disposition, it is probably easier for you to control yourself. Just natural human variation. The question is, do you want to take the next step?
Same here Donno why but I started studying my own behaviour patterns at a very young age maybe because of the abuse I go through ...
But I studied myself to get a better control over my emotions ...
Sad part people think I am emotionless !!😑😑
Thanks, I will definitely look for it :)
To think that we are watching this for free... it's just wow.
Second time, this really works. I thank you for your gift of this knowledge.
People need to be taught this stuff. It needs to be taught to kids in school. At the moment many people associate this kind of stuff with middle aged ladies in communities centers with not much else to do.
He's right, but it doesn't take nearly as long to control it than he suggests. I did it in about a month or two, not 6. I started controlling my emotions 5 years ago and at this point I don't even have to try.
I felt this was really true to me. Not getting angry but impulsiveness - whether it is having a good time and deciding to continue that good time by getting drunk and high out in London town or gambling. Impulsiveness is what gets me in situations I regret. I find it very difficult to give my self a red card, quit and go to bed. The impulsiveness is also however what makes me fun, full of life and a character sometimes. Want to learn to harness this energy instead of feeling this well being and self destructing. Just putting my thought to words. Just feel I have so much more potential that is not bieng realised because of my impulsiveness... Oh well - lets do it together if we can!
either that, or recognize that there are two entities in your life. you and EVERYTHING ELSE in the world. you can't get any emotion from the outside unless you let it get to you
any tips on what to write as in what kind of format?