Is it an HOCD compulsion or is it real?
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- This video describes some examples of common HOCD compulsions that people can suffer from.
Are you having HOCD compulsions? Or are you worried you might be having HOCD compulsions? This video will explain some of the most common compulsions which could be HOCD.
There are many things which we feel ashamed of and don’t talk to anyone about however they can be a sign that you may be suffering from HOCD, anxiety or intrusive thoughts.
This can be incredibly difficult but there is help out there. You are not alone. Whether you are experiencing HOCD compulsions or whether you are struggling with your sexual orientation in some way @notdefining is here to help.
As mentioned in the video this content is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. If you are concerned that you are suffering from HOCD or anxiety please consult your doctor or psychiatrist.
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See, my problem is that I'm getting more and more comfortable with the bi label, but I also get this feeling I have hocd as well... So it's really conflicting and invalidating and annoying. Some days I'm completely sure, some days I'm not. But I guess that could also be sort of a "bi-cycle"? Idk 🙃
I experience the exact same thing. From what I've found these are classic signs of being bi, like the always questioning am/I aren't I? I'm also pretty comfortable with the bi label now after years of ignoring everything, my worry is people I care about being comfortable with it or just not understanding it.
Thank you so much for replying. Nothing makes me happier than when we support and validate each other as a community.
How would it feel to say “I have obsessive intrusive thoughts and I am also somewhere on the bi spectrum”? Very common and valid to experience both.
@@notdefining I think that would be a pretty accurate statement, yes 😭
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark go to www.notdefining.com.
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Thanks for you videos Mark, so many of them resonate with me in some really niche ways which I haven’t ever heard anyone else talk about and so I thought I was the only one who thought about these things. Perhaps that’s an hocd thing? I definitely think I suffer from this, especially recently I think about it all the time.
I’m a guy and I’ve been desperately wanting to explore my attraction to guys but I really don’t want to do it in the closet. Problem is I still live at home and just can’t bring myself to talk about it with family which limits me massively and is ruining opportunities to meet up and get to know some really nice guys who just ghost me after a short time when they catch wind of my situation.
I just don’t know what to do, I feel completely paralysed. I’d really love to go to counselling and I’ve found somewhere near me I could go but I just can’t bring myself to get on with it. It’s eating me up inside though and affecting my whole life, but I was bullied since I was young and I’m in my thirties now and it’s still really affecting me. So frustrating, hopefully you understand and can share some advice?
I’ve recovered if you need any advice you can talk to me
Hey thank you for sharing. It’s okay, we’ve got you. You might not know it but by reaching out you’ve already started to heal.
Tell me, what is the feeling that you would like to feel? Let’s say you are able to have meaningful connections with guys, explore your sexuality and come out to your parents, how would you feel? If you can describe this in one word or a few words what would the feeling be?
Have a think and see if you can let me know. We’ll take it from there.
If you’re struggling to make it to counselling you might like to join us on Patreon.com/notdefining where you can just write back and forth with me and I can provide you with guidance. Only if that would feel helpful.
Sending much love x
Thank you. There is nothing that I love more than when our community stands in for one another. Thank you so so much.
@Notdefining I honestly feel like everything will click in to place and I will just feel free and happy. I really struggle with workplaces and getting a job I think because I'm so down from this so it could potentially improve my whole life.
But I've had so much negativity from people and bullying throughout my life at school and work which I just can't shake on my own, and that has stopped me from moving out and having the freedom to explore without having to hide anything. I'm just trapped in this huge web really and my family don't help me at all but I suppose they don't know whats going on in my head.
I have just emailed the councelling place near me though so I'm hoping they get back to me soon.
@@thelifeof_dan Hey thanks for sharing. So what is the fear? What is it that is keeping you from living in your truth my friend?
I just said "wow" out loud, I can’t believe you really just talked about these experiences I really haven’t shared with anyone, and you said it so aptly. Can’t believe all of these have been just my ocd compulsions, wow, every single one you mentioned. Thank you very much ❤
You’re so welcome. I used to think I was alone and broken but then realised I’m not.
I'm always a little confused about the one about getting with a guy or a girl to see how it feels. What would differentiate this from you exploring your sexuality and trying to get information about your attractions?
If you are terrified of being gay and obsess about it all day long trying to “work out” whether you’re gay or straight and experience hyper anxiety about it, then believe that having an experience with someone of the same gender will “prove” one way or another if you are or aren’t gay and you intend to deeply analyse it in a fearful way, then this could be an indication that you are in a compulsive behaviour. Exploring your sexuality naturally is more about simply seeing how different things feel without the terror attached to it. Does that make sense? Either way it can be hard to tell, which is one of the obsessions as well.
Hey do you know where I can get a psychiatrist for this? It's been bothering me for years and no psychiatrist in the my local vicinity seems to know what this is.
I accidentally accept I’m gay the fact is I actually have hocd I feel like I’m lying to myself that I’m straight but actually I never attract to men I feel so lost and I test myself if I attract to men but then I found out I don’t but I just have intrusive thought about it when I look at men and it also make me feel I’m bisexual and stuff. I don’t want to be gay I already have relationship with a girl I love for almost a half year but because of the doubt , anxiety and stress cause by it make me feel less attraction to her and I’m scare because the intrusive thought just try to convince me that I’m gay when I actually attract to her sexually it also make me lost the sexually connection while I’m feeling it with her. I have never been gay intrusive thought convince me of anything even if I don’t attract to men
My situation is like in the video you mentioned I feel like I lost myself I just don’t know what to do to feel better and get over it even if I already planned a straight marriage relationship life with my girlfriend I do still love her but hocd just ruin me.why it cause lack of anxiety after I accidentally accept that I’m gay like what I mentioned in first comment
I just accept because I want to make myself feel better I know I’m straight I never attracted to male the feeling toward male I got is only cause by intrusive thought cause by hocd that go against my true identity which is straight.I just confuse with it rn it cause me to feel gay even if I am not gay it even cause me to feel anxiety for reassurance myself that I’m actually straight..
i am a 13 year old girl and i’ve always liked boys. one day i got triggered by watching a video abt bisexuality and started questioning am i gay? i got so scared having unwanted thoughts and images and now sometimes im so confused if i like the thoughts and i ask do i want to be intimate with a woman and i said idk do i? these thoughts take up my mind all day and im scared that i rlly am into girls . when my answer at first used to be no. then eventually i started getting images in my head and they were so scary at first and i thought i liked them but i rlly didn’t they were just sexual and i thought i got excited but i didn’t . and now im confused do i want to be with a woman? yesteday i wsd asking myself would i like being intimate with a woman and for the first time my mind said yes i think i would. this scared me! now im convinced that i need to try being intimate with a woman even though i don’t want to be because im scared that i will like it. i am also scared that i will want to be more than friends with her and that my sexuality will change . does this mean i am bi/gay and in denial or that i have hocd. i’m scared that im denial and now im convinced i am.
Hey there. Thanks for reaching out. It’s perfectly normal to have thoughts about different things from time to time. It sounds like there’s a lot of fear there as well. That’s understandable as well and it’s okay to feel scared. When the intrusive thoughts come in try this technique. ruclips.net/video/7Yf981qp1H0/видео.htmlsi=cqjrRi2A7uT33mU0
Also I recommend this video. ruclips.net/video/E9UIkAEUsbE/видео.htmlsi=DXs6R74363MQt4Kc
And this one. ruclips.net/video/U72HEhB8o6k/видео.htmlsi=-zXNpL1y13wHw0Oi
And this one. ruclips.net/video/1v_1oCj1HII/видео.htmlsi=mt5Ax2wNsmiCR_FP
If you are still struggling and can talk to a really trusted friend or maybe teacher or adult about it that can be a good idea.
You can also get in touch with me through my website if you need further support. You’re not alone. Take it easy on yourself I promise you will be okay.
Sending all my very best wishes
Mark
@@notdefining thank you so much i was so stressed because of this but now im convinced im bisexual bc i used the term to identify me and ig it felt right or comfortable and im scared that im just in denial and cant accept the fact i want to be with a woman! i’m so scared that my sexuality will change bc sometimes these thoughts dont bring me so much disgust as they used to but instead i just feel like neutral. im so scared that i rlly am gay or bisexual bc all of a sudden i started getting weird feelings abt boys
Knock on wood I have almost healed from hocd. I say healed because it was a truama for me. I still have intrusive thoughts about men or certain things but I think I am straight and I’m doing so much better i don’t feel scared anymore when I have intrusive thoughts I have stopped compulsions almost entirely and I’m working with my therapist every 2 weeks and every session I get better. Guys this is coming from me a survivor of hocd getting a threpaist helps so much and if you can’t afford one the truth is is to let the thought be when you get a thought that says “I’m gay” just say “ yeah I probably am” you will have so much doubt and fear but you will get so much better as time goes on I promise you best of luck to everyone I hope you guys can heal thank you mark for everything you do
Hey thank you so much for sharing this encouraging and inspiring story. I’m so glad you are healing and learning to move away from the cycle of thoughts. It’s so great to have your perspective on the page as a lot of people are still struggling and will find this very useful. Bless you. Thanks again.
@@notdefining no problem man it has tried to be better and even yestersy I have a gay friend that had a crush on me and my brain told me I liked it and all that but it wasn’t real there were no feelings a I got scared so I know it’s not real ocd is really hard and I prey for everyone going through it it gets way better for them
I have only seen like three or four videos but I LOVE your perspective and videos. Just subscribed. Thank you and your channel for sharing your perspective and personality.
ce tre chaud!!Awesome !!!😁😁
Hey thanks so much. You are so very welcome here. I’m delighted you found us. If you have instagram twitter TikTok or Patreon come check us out there too. Also we have a podcast called the queer spectrum on all major podcasting channels. Tell us more about you… sending much love x
Dear Mark, thanks so much for these videos. I consider myself queer. However I don’t like the pressure of having to stick to a label. I know for myself that I’m primarily attracted to women…however I’ve had some sexual experiences with men. Lately I’ve been trying to date and-I’ve been doing it for years now and I feel like I’m experiencing dating fatigue-But I also feel like I’m losing attraction to women and I feel like I should just date my own gender (men) Even though I know that’s not necessarily something I want. Yet I keep obsessing over it--and looking back on my previous attractions to women and questioning if i was just being an imposter. Even going as far as considering dating men-when I know I’m just settling…It’s been so hard to let go of these thoughts. I would appreciate the help.
Hey thanks for sharing and reaching out. I completely feel you. I’d probably suggest maybe going on a couple of dates with guys and just getting that out of your system. Enjoy it. Don’t ruminate about it, if you feel it just do it. By the sounds of things you’ll probably do that and then maybe feel more ready to date women again. Sounds like you need a break from women as it’s been tiring. You’re doing great. Follow your body, don’t resist it. Your inner guidance system knows what you want. Just let it. It’s not forever. Try to have fun with it. I hope this helps.
I’ve experienced almost all of them…. Down to accepting the label I’ve been afraid of. Quizzes and other things
Hey thanks so much for sharing
Hey, I thought I was bi for 2 years (I’m a girl) but now I don’t feel sexually attracted to women. In my case I’m afraid of being straight. Does that mean I was lying? I don’t want to be straight but I guess I’ve always been since from the beginning I was afraid of liking women. Does that make a straight woman with hocd? Any advice?
It definitely does not mean you were lying. Attractions are real even if they are fleeting or temporary. It’s perfectly natural to feel things and then change or shift a bit. 100% straight does not exist. You are you. Unique. My advice is to focus on what feels good to you at any one time. It doesn’t “mean” anything particular about you. It’s clear you have a range of attraction. Most people do. That’s totally normal. Try not to apply meaning to it.
@@notdefining thank u very much, your videos have really helped me accept myself.
🩷🩷
hocd really fits my situation. i’ve been hyperfixating on my sexuality for so long. it sends me into panic attacks and i simply cannot stop it. it really infiltrates my day and i think about it more than i’d like to admit. i’m scared that my relationship with my bf (i’m a girl) is going to go down and be ruined if i WERE bi. but i’ve never felt more seen with the label of HOCD. it stresses me out and i don’t know how to stop hyperfixating about it
how r u now
Eu perdi tudo por causa desse transtorno minha vida acabou. Era tanta dúvida que me permiti experimentar e hoje me arrependo.obrigado
Hey thank you for sharing. You’re okay. We’ve got you. Is there someone you can talk to in your community? A close friend or family member? Even a doctor?
@@notdefining eu vou ao psicólogo mais destruí minha vida obrigadi
@@raphaelbalieiromenandro8512 mate don’t beat yourself up. I get major bouts of hocd come up in my life. I had a childhood friend perform very adult sexual acts with me while we were young. Messed me up having crushes on girls but labelling myself as gay because of a childhood event. There’s a term here in Australia “you’re not really a man until you’ve had a man”. It’s just banter, but don’t beat yourself up. You could smoke crack, regret it and that doesn’t make you a crack fiend. You’ll get better in time bro. Hang in there
@@Churchyarmstrong eu não entendo inglês
@@Churchyarmstrong Good night brother, I'm Brazilian kk. I read your comment and it was like a blessing because I suffer from these thoughts and one of the biggest triggers is some past sexual acts I had in my childhood with a friend and a cousin and that is what disturbs me the most. I thought I was the only one to have done this and have these intrusive thoughts, because of that it just raises more questions