Complaining about someone leaving the incel community because they had sex implies that it's voluntary celibacy, doesn't it? They're implying he should have turned her down.
interesting slant. Yes indeed - accusing someone of voluntarily leaving the cult is explicitly admitting that they are in the cult voluntarily - not involuntarily like their little conspiracy fantasy requires.
We've got guys identifying as incels at like 14 it's a big issue how early boys feel pressure to have sex and if they don't feel they can get out of this group after being sucked into it in the internet
They’re just mad because one girl didn’t like them and they think it’s hopeless for them now. Obviously 14 year old guys don’t take rejection very well as they are14 and there’s a bunch of pathetic adult men acting like this so they instantly believe oh my God it’s over for me! Then they turn into the guys were like women only want six figures six packs and 6 feet, To Cope about why they’re not in a relationship yet when they’re literally just 14 I think it’s less about pressure and more about being young and dumb And not having any positive influences because they keep seeing adult men doing this
@@justheretocommentokdontwan685hat's how I learned to think about it. I don't think it's gonna be magical or anything; I see sex more as a bucket list thing. I'd like to have it, but I won't be depressed if I die a virgin
It still blows my mind that there's a community centered around getting turned down so hard you decide "I think I'll make this my life. That'll show em."
They mistrust and hate women so much they decided to name it and make insular groups around it so they can all groom each other into further hating women and mistrusting them. Insanity.
It's a standard coping mechanism like when someone gets picked last for the pickup basketball game and then that person says they don't even like basketball anyway lol
It's so weird to me how those people actually adopted the phrase incel and identify together as a community. Like who wants to be an angry misogynistic virgin and wear it like a badge of honor lmao?
I love the whole "wow you had sex when someone was willing to have sex with you?!?" Type of incel. Did they forget that part of being incel is "involuntary"? As in they're not supposed to be celibate by choice? If you're specifically avoiding sex entirely you are not an incel.
It’s not even a skill issue you just didn’t find someone yet. Love comes at all different times or ages. Unless you’re just actually looking to get laid or not love them maybe that’s a skill issue maybe
It's not that important. If you are happy then who cares? If you want to have sex get out there and be open to new people and their imperfections. Otherwise it's all good. You don't have to give in to societies bullshit.
I remember one time I was "on the wagon" from pot for a couple of months, and I ran into one of the guys whose house I would hang out and get high at. He said, "Hey, haven't seen you in awhile, what have you been off the pipe or something?" It was so awkward because while that was definitely the case, I didn't want to just say that and suggest that the only reason I hung out with them was to get high (which was not the case).
@@fungus1228 Serious addicts absolutely can get bound to one another socially lmao what a ridiculous comment. Mentioning rehab and shit like that's the norm or something. Half the time you won't even be able to recognize a serious addict. They could be taking up a spot in your local board game group and you'd have no idea if you never bothered getting close them. Alcoholics especially form these toxic social bonds with other alcoholics. OP's comment is a bit off. This is not like leaving the drug community, it's like leaving group therapy. The point isn't to wallow in it, the point is to get better. Some people don't realize that for a long time...or ever I guess.
That happens too. You gotta remember, if someone raises themselves up in any way, in some people this news triggers an overwhelming, subconscious wave of self-comparison. And because they aren’t emotionally mature enough to be happy for the newly-raised person, the response will be warped into something hurtful, in an effort to reset the status quo back to it’s previous “comfortable “ level. Humans are weird, but at heart we are kinda simplistic and logical once you get a base insight into what drives us.
Exactly! Like, you'd think the virginity being involuntary would be a huge part of it, otherwise they'd be calling themselves volcels or MGTOW or misogynists or whatever.
Nah, it does kind of make sense once you realise that these people have developed their worldview as a direct result of being involuntarily celibate, and deciding that women are to blame for that. I mean, it obviously doesn't actually make sense, but from the perspective of someone whose brain is that broken it is a logical thing to say 🤷♂️
I never understood incel and I understand it even less now. I was attracted to MGTOW (I still consider myself MGTOW when taking a wide definition) but not getting laid sucks. I was over my 40s when it was my first time. Since then my life is a lot better.
Because most of them aren't virgin by choice, so it kinda says something about how desirable you are, what are the reasons why you couldn't get laid. No confidence, because you're smelly, because you're a weirdo? Not that complicated.
Your overlords demand that you create more workers. Like, there's a lot of stuff around that, but that's the core principle, throughout all of history.
The term "incel" isn't JUST speaking about virginity. 🙄 It's about their toxic behavior & foul treatment of Women. Nobody rips on dudes for being virgins when they behave like human beings & treat people w/respect, come on.
@@KabbalahSherry sadly, people absolutely do rip on dudes who aren't getting laid or can't. The whole idea is that a man is as valuable as his ability to be sexually desirable, as it follows that being a "good" person is what makes you attractive. What "needs" to happen is a shift away from believing that being sexually desirable is exactly the same as being a kind and decent human. Unfortunately, jerks do get laid all the time because the qualities that make someone *sexually* desirable are not always going to be synonymous with being truly kind or good. The PUA/Red pill/Manosphere understands the value of sexual attraction and its distinction from simply being a decent human that treats women with respect which is why they persist: they solve the problem of making men feel sexually confident and desirable over simply being nice and hoping someone falls in love with them out of chance one day.
Might be you're not being vulnerable enough, or don't know yourself well enough to be vulnerable and genuine around people. Or it might be that you live in a place like Miami where people generally are as shallow as a two-tone marker. Don't worry about it too much, it's great you're aware of what you want and what's going on. Try to travel and meet people from different communities and backgrounds.
I sort of have the opposite issue, although I'm somewhat introverted so I deal with isolation better than average (not perfectly). Can't get laid but can connect with people otherwise. It feels like trading one kind of suffering for another
I'm in a weird grey area, where it's _all_ easy for me. If I shut the fuck up. Kinda leaves you detached, when you can only allow yourself to _be_ yourself _by_ yourself.
@@ananousous Yes. The state of mind of "It's everyone else's fault I can't get laid." This guy's getting shit on because he's contradicting their narrative.
The weird part is that these folks lashed out at somebody in a way that implies that it's their own bitterness that makes them volcels... they're viewing this as a betrayal, when ostensibly this is what they're all _striving_ for.
Right? It's like how can you say you're involuntarily celibate and get mad when someone is no longer celibate unless it's now voluntary. Though I can't help but wonder with these guys in this community, like if any of of them was *poof* suddenly a woman - would they even spend their time of day with people in the same community?
The social control of "you only have us as a community, no one else will take you" is textbook grooming, seen in religions and cults all over. Jehovah's Witnesses are famous for that kind of social coercion. If you want to help someone out, be a non-judgmental person to talk to for them, don't tell them what to do, they need to take the steps alone but you can be an anchor for them.
No one says that except maybe whatever twitter users vaush is looking into here. No incel i’ve ever respected enough to talk to has been on some community building trip. They merely lament their bad fortune that’s about it. It’s very casual and apolitical business.
@@fungus1228 "No incel i’ve ever respected enough to talk to has been on some community building trip." ...Oddly specific qualifier there. "No incel I've ever respected." Pretty sure the assholes are the ones you Don't respect.
@@patchwurk6652 Yeah I respected a bunch of incels. Baraka Mkray chief among them. He's a bit of a personal hero to me actually. & he is (or was RIP) a prime of example of someone who did not take to discord or any place to organize some incel jihad initiative or any such cringe. I think they're a lot of standard issue misogynists who don't share in that which haunts the truecels and larp accordingly and are not half as interesting or real.
@@beganitdidnt6535 ...The fuck are you on about? It's in the damn name. Incel stands for "Involuntarily Celibate". If you're CHOOSING to be an Incel, you Are Not an Incel by definition.
I'm 38, and I'm so glad all this red-pill stuff wasn't around when I was younger. I'd like to think I wouldn't have brought into it, but I was so naive in my teens that I couldn't say that with surety. I had my first proper relationship when I was 18, and she cheated, gaslit, and hit me as well. I was so bitter about it afterwards that I can imagine this stuff would have appealed to me.
This has the same energy as people in the deaf community getting mad at people who use cochlear implants. Like, the community (supposedly) only exists to provide support for people with an issue but then gets mad when the issue is solved.
I think it's understandable to turn your disability into a kind of identity or marker for identity as a survival mechanism, but we can become very invested in our identities after the point which it makes any sense to do so. There's nothing you're gaining by losing your abilities that you couldn't gain while having them.
I was shocked when I found out about that. But I am autistic, and have seen the pushback against any move to work through autism as well (and not toxic work like ABA, but things like discovering the active genes and possible underlying causes) so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Fair point but I think with the deaf community it is a little bit more complicated since they have to use their own completly seperate language that barely anyone else knows so there is this whole own and unique culture around it compared to the incel shit. I think this here is more like a group od overweight people who constatly complain that they are too fat and want to lose weight but then flip out when one of them actually does it because it was all just about having a big circlejerk and a pity party rather than about really changing anything
Reeealy BIG difference in the part where the group provides actual support for having a real life limitation. It's a literal religion instead of a group of activists
@@edwinvoncarstein Crabucket thinking is what Terry Pratchett called it (so named because you can keep live crabs in a bucket with an open lid, since if any individual crab tries to climb out, it will inevitably get pulled back down by the other crabs).
On the one hand, that "fuck you I got mine attitude" attitude is usually toxic. On the other hand, it's the incel community, and it's good that he got out of that vortex
As someone who is (technically) a femcel, I haven't gotten laid because I found my online girlfriend to be "easy." When the time came id have her for when we met and I never thought about what if we broke up before we had physical intimacy. Now that I'm single and still a virgin, I kind of feel like I have to put in "work" that is, i have to do the whole dating thing. It's daunting and scary when all u know is ppl online. I think what is happening here with these guys is that their loneliness is their personality and it hasnto MEAN something bc otherwise, they have been wasting their time waiting for someone to hand them a gf for free and little change + effort on their part.
I have been a fakecel out of weird catholic guilt my entire life so this is actually a really uplifting story that I am like a boogeyman in the incel community. Also, yes I have never ever had sex.
Former Baptist - it had the same effect on me. It made every date awkward or miss opportunities because while I was willing to have sex before marriage, they all had to be "the one." All that pressure, when it should just be adult play. Ironically, I had a lot of prospects I wouldn't ask out because they were Catholic ;)
So essentially it was an artificial restriction that was embedded in you that prevents you from taking the unique steps to having sex, and you think that the guy we are talking about has an analogous situation? On one hand, there is no direct evidence from what is shown in the video indicating that to be true, but I also can't see any way in which a mod for an incel community could be well-reasoned other than having a similar situation to you.
There's absolutely nothing wrong w/being a Virgin. It's when dudes turn it into an excuse to sh*t all over Women, and talk down on them & behave really foul, that it becomes an issue. Simply being a Virgin is fine! As far as your religious background forcing the issue... that's a whole different topic tbh. Religion f*cks people up in all sorts of ways besides just condemning sex before marriage.
Therein lies the problem with having it be an identity and a community in the first place. Of all the boneheaded ideas incels have this one is the biggest. There is extensive research showing that how we label ourselves shapes our expectations and, thus, our outcomes. Imagine "incel" being your identity or worse your political identity and not the situation you're currently in...
I'm a non-binary female person, 40, pretty introverted, and I do find it easier to "merely" get laid than to have a relationship or friendship. One night is one night. Relationships, friends--thoserequire time and psychological and emotional energy. It is much easier to have one conversation, be attracted, and act on it--which is not a bad or shameful thing at all, even if it goes nowhere. It's just sad people do not have time and energy for more, when they want it. I am not trying to complain. I notice that I often overestimate what I am equipped to give even to my closest relationships. I don't feel I "need" very many close people, yet even the ones I have are hard to keep up with. Relationships cannot be prioritized over being productive and making damn sure you look good on paper in case you get shit-canned.
have you considered marrying young men that can't get laid? that way you have multiple long-term, stable relationships, and the young men get laid and everyone's happy? maybe it could work, idk...
@@gljames24isn't the original word for someone who is unable to form relationships due to lack of empathy actually simply Sociopathic, not the made up word aplatonic? We don't need to invent words just to avoid the unwelcome meaning of valid words....if they are valid, then they are valid.
I've never really been able to wrap my head around the incel philosophy, but this seals the deal. One of them finally had sex and they're *mad*? I thought the point was they didn't want to be incels? Isn't that what involuntary means? They make no damn sense.
Cured by a woman's warmth, good for him. Hopefully, he'll lose the misogyny as well. We've all had dry spells, I dated five different women last year, then this year I've had none. Occupy yourself with hobbies, work on yourself. Don't blame it on women and hate them for it.
Thats literally all there is to it, these things just happen naturally, youll get no where forceing it, healthier life better odds it happens sooner than later
Yes, it is very healthy to get laid. I know I lost the vast majority of my misogeny when I got laid. Still some remnants of it though but I don't care. The obsession with the idea that women ruined all my chances is gone. I'm chill now.
I'm not in the incel community, but I am involuntarily celibate. I was born with physical deformities that make sex literally impossible, I jokingly call myself a Trucel sometimes. I've never understood why they hate women, and not themselves like a normal person.
Ego. But yeah i believe incel was coined for people with problems similar to yours, and then appropriated. Hope you find love at some point, if that's something you want for yourself. Even if you can't do sex, romance isn't impossible
You shouldn't hate yourself or women. Disabled people shouldn't hate themselves for being disabled but rather the capitalist society for not giving social safety net for the smallest of people
For the past 500+ years, any hard working male that didn’t have something drastically wrong with him (wasn’t out of shape, not mentally/physically disabled etc) was guaranteed a partner. That was the social contract between society and men; men slave away to build and maintain civilisation (something that only benefits women), and civilisation upholds monogamy as compensation Now society has abolished monogamy but still expects/forces men to keep their end of the deal. It would be like early 1800s cotton farmers announcing that they’d no longer provide their staff with food and shelter but still demanding they continue picking cotton regardless.
@@Andrewbait It's for the most part down to personality, and both incels and femcels both lacking in appearance and yet both having ridiculously high standards, so both avoid each other. A great shame!
@the red king True. And if we could keep it from getting high jacked by men with bad intentions. I actually didn't think the incel thing was bad when I first saw it start up on reddit, but we see how it turned out. Guys who were older virgins and found a way out of it could be just what they need. I'm one of those in spades, but whenever I tried to talk to those guys all I got back was bitterness & self-pity. I don't know how to get through to them if they won't listen.
Well there was Jordan Peterson but he's a white supremacist, Nazi uhhh... Incel supporter, probably... Oh well at least with him destroyed, there is Andrew Tate to replace him. A much better role model... Nice going leftists.
Given "The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving" was about someone who was doing the irresponsible stuff out of a loneliness-fueled self hatred and has now finally gotten his act together, that's actually rather fitting.
yeah, it's my reservation about being supportive for people like this - it's great that he's no longer identifying with the incel label, but just giving someone who is being toxic what they want is usually the opposite of what you want to do when behavior needs to change.
Man idk what the pharmacy put in my Adderall this time but I was able to do ALL of my chores today, while listening to vods in the background. Wasn't even particularly painful, the time just flew by. Discipline is amazing!!!
That he achieved the thing that they all complain about and: 1) suddenly feels he's better than all his bros, and 2) they suddenly assume that he's somehow a completely different person; just proves that this whole thing had become this warped and weird identity politics thing rather than having any legitimate gripe. Not that all of us (you know, everyone who found the incel and "men's rights" movement laughable) didn't know this to begin with, but it's amazing that they're going through this incel civil war and still don't realize this about themselves and their alleged movement.
I'm not far into the video, but I had to say, in his tweet Komesarj is also using language (and getting the response) that I've heard from friends of mine who've deconstructed from evangelicalism or Mormonism. The split-mind about leaving a community you know is harmful, but worried about losing the friendships and connections you've made; The response from other members "wishing them well" in back-handed and aggressive ways. Inceldom is very close in its methods and structure to a cult, and I don't see a lot of people making that connection.
@@LimeyLassen Yeah, it's not a one-to-one connection, obviously. It's more like a cult in search of a leader. It has internal structures and mechanics, and people like Andrew Tate, Piers Morgan, or Paul Joseph Watson will more than happily latch onto it and exploit the members for money.
I've seen three or four comments in here along those lines, and it's implied in what Vaush said about "don't get too caught up with any particular online community at the expense of real life friends". It's clearly that sort of dynamic.
Turned out he was voluntarily celebrate. That's why the rest of the community are mad; for exposing their mythos of it being an involuntary, intractable position rather than something they can probably do something about, like, er, perhaps being less toxic.
Imagine if there was a support group for people who couldn't pass video games... there probably is somewhere, but just run with this fictional version for a bit. At first it's a bunch of people sharing stories about how they've personally tried and failed at Backwards Long-Jumping through doors, or frame perfect jumps in Paper Mario to clip through the level geometry, or basically any speedrunner trick. But over time the attitude shifts until anyone who's ever even passed a video game is shunned from the group. Then it gets to the point where everyone starts shunning you if you have over 70 Stars, because you shouldn't even be opening the final door, that's not what the inlos (involuntary losers) movement is all about. You can get 69 Stars so you can say "noice" but never 70 or more, that's just right out. -Also, no more than 123 Power Moons in Super Mario Odyssey, and whatever rules for each individual game, all that should go without saying.- Then one day, someone makes a post about how this one game has a credits button on the home menu, and you can just press it and the credit will start rolling. This is an odd feature that typically only bad videogames have, like ones so bad they know nopony is ever going to finish them; but the point is that for whatever reason, *_the speedrunning community considers this to be "passing" the game._* So, because they were posting about an oddity they found in some random crappy game, they were ostracized from the group for some obscure rule that should never exist in the first place (I disapprove of _all_ credit warp glitches counting as "passing" a game). And, uh... what's the point of this analogy? That this drama is stupid. "We been know" and all that, but this is just me calling it stupid with extra steps... I guess.
You're right, most don't want to be incels. You're also right about the grass is greener perspective. Just because someone gets laid constantly doesn't mean their life is enviable. It is also sad that his "friends" won't let him come back so to speak if she turns him down. You should be there for friends especially when their lovers break up or divorce them.
It's a common experience with guys like this, they get a tinder match for the first time, get freaky, and the shock to find they don't feel any happier or more fulfilled then before.
@@ericosagie3046 100% it varies from person to person. I can't speak for everyone but i have friends and such so i feel good about my social life. For me it IS the lack of sexual fulfillment and the painful reminder that is my libido that im just alone in that way. This perspective isn't really talked about much honestly.
I would recommend to form bonds with people who have shared ideology and interests. Being an insecure celibate is neither of those. Like, i can relate with these guys; at a time i thought i would never be with someone, sex was only one element. In highschool i wasn't in a group of friends with girls; only some geeks who played videogames and played music. I didn't know how to approach someone i liked (also i thought i would be ashamed for trying and didn't have a chance), nor the circumstances would casually get me there (like it usually happens in movies with geek protagonists). If i had a friend with a relatable condition, and eventually he dated someone; i would be happy for him, or i would be jealous, or i would envy him; but i wouldn't call him a traitor. Being an incel is a condition in which you can relate with someone else, you can feel sympathy or empathy, etc; but it is not a political movement, it's not something to be protected. If it was a political movement, what would it be? It can't be one of awareness and empathy or helping people to have better self esteem or get laid or whatever; because they seem to consider it to be treason. So, is it maybe "lets resent women and support every right wing movement that tries to take away their rights. Lets be angry at the world together".
6:20 It makes perfect sense if you look at it from the perspective of someone who is selfish and has low self-esteem. They're crabs in a bucket and they don't think they'll ever get out, even if socioeconomic conditions change in a way that leads to the metaphorical bucket getting some height trimmed off. Sure, some crabs near the top will get out, but the bottom crabs resent that and get pinchy.
As someone who is Ace spec I’ve always been fascinated by the incel community. I understand sex is something people enjoy and not having that can suck but getting so rage filled and like insane seems like a bit of an overreaction to me. Also I feel like 99 percent of these peoples issues with forming relationships is their negative attitude and personality cause there are people that looks are not the first thing they look for in people ( myself included) but imo nothing can make me look past someone’s awful personality so these people gotta work on that.
It seems like a bit of a overaction if you have never personally felt it (not justifying their beliefs). But imagine having a urge you basically just have to ignore if it pops up. And all it does is remind you that your not loved in a particular way. A way others around you are. You don't know why nobody likes you this way. All you know is you get physically reminded of it (some more than others due to higher libido) and eventually you have to understand or cope with the fact that. You are alone. Even if you have friends. This side of you, your sexuality is something nobody else cares about and nobody likes you enough to care about it. Some people ignore it just find, but to others its a sad reminder of loneliness in their life that's only made worse by the assumptions people make about you and the fact that you can't really talk about it because you will either be shamed or be thought of as a bad person. Being an incel is just a negative and extremely isolating experience for some people (although they only make it worse by joining hateful groups).
@@chunguschungus Its not a myth. Im someone that is living that experience right now and im not even short ugly or a horrible person. I have friends and lots of people get along with me and i tend to make good first impressions AND everyone in my community generally has a positive opinion of me. Yet im alone and can't get a single relationship and have never had sex at all before. Its not a myth. I'm literally dealing with the shit right now. I've been trying and nothing helps. Your just lucky you have never had to deal with it or have seen it in your life. Its easy to just pretend any experience but your own is some myth but it is real. You are literally doing the thing that contributes to the problem. "Oh you can't get laid so its because your just lazy and an incel that enjoys being alone." ffs. If someone is having trouble finding romantic relationships and people like you have nothing to say other than to assume they aren't trying and that they want to be alone well ofc a bunch of these people are gonna go to where they at least feel people care and don't dismiss them. Its just sad that these people go to the incel community. But talking to people about this is really making me realize why they do it. Nobody else gives a fuck about this life experience and either genuinely don't care. Or you get people telling you your life experience doesn't exist while making negative assumptions about you.
I would never suggest anything illegal, but if a lack of sex is bothering you that much: money can be exchanged for goods and services. If it's just loneliness then join a Minecraft server or something lmao.
I always thought that “incels” were just a joke or an insult, but there are literally groups of people calling themselves incels? How unbelievably pathetic 😂
yeah. They are an offshoot of the manosphere, stuff like pick-up artists, Mgtow, and such. to be honest, its kinda born of that whole.. 'nice guy' and 'foreveralone' thing a couple decades ago, where guys were buying into alpha and beta bullshit, assuming that 'nice guys finish last' and assumed its impossible to stop being forever alone. It kinda all coalesced into this new community.
I like the fact he didn't think twice about using his newfound experience to give his incel mates some tips about getting laid, he straight up said "bye losers lmao"
Doing a dive into the account tagged as his girlfriend was…concerning😬. Super misogynistic, saying she would violently kill herself without him, only 19 years old and DEFINITELY being groomed. This will not end well for her.
As much as these guys hate themselves and stew on negativity, it all stems from deep pain. Whether they bring it all on themselves or not, they are in a lot of pain having only known rejection. The whole "movement" is just a defense mechanism. They build up this hateful, judgemental and insulting social circle as a way to cope and protect whats left of their ego.
If "incel" is supposed to be shorthand for "involuntary celibate", wouldn't anyone voluntarily committing themselves to inceldom not be an incel by definition? Like, claiming someone is betraying the incel community by getting laid implies that they would CHOOSE to turn down sex, which wouldn't make them an incel, they would just be celibate. Logically the end goal of any incel would be to get laid, no? Isn't that supposed to be the whole point, that their celibacy is involuntary, which means they don't want to be celibate? If they have an issue with someone in their community managing to get out by finding a relationiship/having sex, one might come to the conclusion that their problems run deeper than simply not getting laid or finding a partner.
My man could’ve just lied, and kept his prominence. Then again, idk if he got money for this, probably not which is why he decided to leave instead of becoming a grifter
Don’t get committed to those groups. Fine. …what group can I commit to? I’m not in any groups but I’m horribly lonely. Is there literally any option to find FRIENDS? ANYWHERE??? I’ve been looking for the last 6 years and haven’t made a friend. Not a real one. Not Someone I can talk about REAL issues with or anyone who REALLY gets excited to be with me or who REALLY shares passion and hope with me. There’s just nothing out there, man. There’s people. There’s groups but friendship is so fukkin dead. Good luck.
I'm a celibate man, never had sex. Long ago, I just decided to give up. Honestly, I'm happier this way. Trying to seek out a sexual relationship would give me a ton of anxiety.
As a dude who lost their virginity at 25, sex isn't exactly the pinnacle experience you'll have in your life. It's fun, but its also messy, clumsy, sometimes a bit nasty (not the good nasty either). It's at its best when you have an actually emotional connection with someone, and at it's worst you'll be regretting that you did it the very next day. I think a much more grand experience is to fall in love with someone.
Someone may enter the incel community because they can't get laid, but once it becomes a choice to stay in that community "for the bros", it's no longer involuntary. Of course, if a self-described incel is going to call someone a traitor for finally getting some, then they're probably more of an incel than even they realize.
I was getting ready for a date when this story broke. Lol. It's definitely a strange, strange world from the outside looking in. I just found out what an incel was like, a month ago. The thing that's so funny to me is the victorian skull pseudo science obsession. It's so weird. Wishing all you incels out there a good therapist, a shower and a sweet partner to come into your lives. I wish the best for people in that community. But from a female perspective, it's got nothing to do with the shape or size of your skull....or mine. Lol
yeaaaaaah.. Ive been following the movement since before Incels were actually a thing. Its all born of that.. 'foreveralone' bullshit that used to be a meme, along with stuff like 'nice guys'. guh. its really all too wild.
@@TranshumanMarissa lol Weird. It's so far outside of my personal experience I don't know what to say about it?! I'm just concerned because there appears to be a pipeline from the incel community to the alt right?!
i just don't understand. "Its time for a new chapter of my life...defined by having sex once" I mean.... good for you? good on you for growing and embracing change? but why was the thing that prompted this getting laid? I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't believe that having sex is this life changing experience. But then, I'm a virgin so idk maybe I just haven't given it a fair shake yet; my impression from the outside looking in -- from the bushes ofc -- is that its overrated. A good time, to be sure, a lovely thing to do with someone you love or even just a fun way to kill time with a stranger, but I reject the notion that its something that makes your life worth living. I don't even agree with Vaush that this increase in virgins is, itself, a problem, or at least, his focus on the sex aspect of it. I just view it as a symptom of larger societal problems that need to be addressed because a rise in virginity is not the only consequence of these problems. While I think that's his core position as well, I don't like the emphasis he puts on the actual sex part of the equation. I'm not saying that he's wrong and dumb and stupid and needs to change his rhetorical strategy (put down the pitchforks you idiots) just that I don't like his particular approach to that topic. And that is my right. idk, its shit like this that makes me wonder if I'm actually ace, because while I've been attracted to people before, it feels like I must be missing something. Or maybe people like this just need psychiatric help. I genuinely can't tell, but this feels pretty psychotic imo. I, personally, would rather sit with the Aces and eat garlic bread then join a community entirely centered around how I can't get laid.
It's the hormones. Post nut clarity implies pre nut mind fog, given by the hormones in your body telling you you have to do it and it's special. The universe revolves around it, life, religion, society, economics, all revolves around getting laid because if the chemicals in the brain.
You're absolutely correct in a lot of ways. Young men getting action doesn't quite solve this problem, politically or materially. We should ask why loneliness is increasing across the bored. Merely devaluing social relationships and making it more common and meaningless does not necessarily solve the problem. Ignoring the problem exists certainly solves nothing. I think Vaush's response was mostly good. I'm always more concerned about the divorce rate. It seems like in developed countries, the divorce rate only falls if marriages fall as well. It's all very interesting. But for you, a person who might be ace, I'm not sure how to solve the problem of you not getting laid, lol. But I think ace people can help in providing a more "objective" analysis on the whole thing. V isn't ace, to my knowledge, so he always comes off as more "subjective".
For some people finally having a sexual experience is getting their sexual identify realized and its the release of a mental burden by confirming someone is comfortable enough to have sex with you or is attracted to you or someone likes you enough to care about your sexual experience. Its not that big a deal for some people but i know people that really weren't doing great in life and having sex actually really did improve their life. Not directly but the snowball effect of feeling loved. The snowball effect of having someone care about a deeply personal side of yourself. The confidence that comes with being wanted by someone even if its just for sex legit caused their life to change for the better.
It's like what Vaush had said. Some of these movements are self-perpetuating grifts. They select niche social issues as a vehicle to push fringe politics. They even show there hand when people solve their personal issues. Then get accused of weakening the movement. Pointing to it was never about self-improvement.
He didnt even necessarily get laid. He could have rejected the opportunity to get laid and by definition no longer be involuntarily celibate as he would just be celibate
*CDC STUDY 85% OF GUYS 18 TO 24* in the USA turned down a date at least once in the last 12 months cos they could not afford to go South Korea are giving teenagers $500 a month to go dating cos no one is finding partners cos its too expensive in 2023. I grew up in a very VERY poor family in the north of Thatchers Britain - I NEVER turned down a date cos I could not afford it - even on my salary from working weekends at the gas station
It's funny all the people acting like it's a bad thing to stop being an incel and like he shouldn't want it. It's literally called involuntary and people really act like it's a choice.
I will never understand the mind of someone who adopts the term "incel" as part of their identity willingly. It's not like taking the power back from a racial epithet, incel actually means something and that thing is pretty embarrassing to admit.
Complaining about someone leaving the incel community because they had sex implies that it's voluntary celibacy, doesn't it? They're implying he should have turned her down.
It means them not getting any is not an essentialist quality of theirs
interesting slant. Yes indeed - accusing someone of voluntarily leaving the cult is explicitly admitting that they are in the cult voluntarily - not involuntarily like their little conspiracy fantasy requires.
They do actually already hate “vol-cels”
Exactly. What was he supposed to do? Turn the sex down?
Exactly what I was thinking. It's not that he was voluntarily cel and then changed.
“LeBron James of incels” is such a wild title. Does this mean he’s the most talented incel of all time? I’m so confused.
hey....mj existed
It means he lies a lot
The most powerful virgin
@@garywebb2432 lol LBJ over MJ anyday but like them both lol
@@jamirbingham4101 that is a crazy opinion MJ was the best to ever do it
We've got guys identifying as incels at like 14 it's a big issue how early boys feel pressure to have sex and if they don't feel they can get out of this group after being sucked into it in the internet
They’re just mad because one girl didn’t like them and they think it’s hopeless for them now. Obviously 14 year old guys don’t take rejection very well as they are14 and there’s a bunch of pathetic adult men acting like this so they instantly believe oh my God it’s over for me! Then they turn into the guys were like women only want six figures six packs and 6 feet, To Cope about why they’re not in a relationship yet when they’re literally just 14
I think it’s less about pressure and more about being young and dumb And not having any positive influences because they keep seeing adult men doing this
That’s incredibly scary that someone that young falls into this. People that young should never feel pressure to date or have sex. Absolutely insane.
@@ANationalguy they are feeling pressure tho, even if self induced
@trollnerd I could understand that I suppose there is a lot of us stigma around sex. It’s almost like a status point.
@@justheretocommentokdontwan685hat's how I learned to think about it. I don't think it's gonna be magical or anything; I see sex more as a bucket list thing. I'd like to have it, but I won't be depressed if I die a virgin
It still blows my mind that there's a community centered around getting turned down so hard you decide "I think I'll make this my life. That'll show em."
One of us! One of us! One of us! ×drags the poor sod to the hell caves of reddit×
The "that'll show them" part is especially mind blowing. They treat the movement as some big gotcha.
They mistrust and hate women so much they decided to name it and make insular groups around it so they can all groom each other into further hating women and mistrusting them. Insanity.
It's a standard coping mechanism like when someone gets picked last for the pickup basketball game and then that person says they don't even like basketball anyway lol
@@xMawkKnightx If you're not allowed to change it's the opposite of a "movement."
How can they be mad about a guy getting laid when their community name literally stands for "INVOLUNTARY celibate".
Absolutely!
Because he could have turned the girl down, I guess. Technically he could have chosen to remain incel. Or at least cel.
@@Queef_Storm But if you're Turning Down the pussy, you're not Involuntarily Celibate.
You Chose to be celibate.
@@Queef_Storm that would be pretty Volcel of them
I'm incel
It's so weird to me how those people actually adopted the phrase incel and identify together as a community. Like who wants to be an angry misogynistic virgin and wear it like a badge of honor lmao?
Victim complex is real...
@Florentino Perez funny coming from the only incel trollbot for these comments
Because they’re depressed and it’s anonymous
People are desperate for a sense of community and will gravitate to any group that offers that even if it's damaging to themselves..
Conservatives?
I love the whole "wow you had sex when someone was willing to have sex with you?!?" Type of incel. Did they forget that part of being incel is "involuntary"? As in they're not supposed to be celibate by choice? If you're specifically avoiding sex entirely you are not an incel.
I'm incel though
This has the same energy as fat acceptance being mad at Adele
When being depressed is your whole personality
LOL!
It's just a aay for them to justify being sad and never changing.
I'm 28. Never got laid. I'm not an incel. I think it's just a skill issue.
It’s not even a skill issue you just didn’t find someone yet. Love comes at all different times or ages. Unless you’re just actually looking to get laid or not love them maybe that’s a skill issue maybe
Women as a rule don't find Mighty Sink Priests sexually alluring 😩
@@robbiekop7 I find you sexually alluring
@@robbiekop7 Imagine not craving the mighty skink bussy. Women are weird
It's not that important. If you are happy then who cares? If you want to have sex get out there and be open to new people and their imperfections. Otherwise it's all good. You don't have to give in to societies bullshit.
HOW THE HELL DID A MOD FOR AN INCEL COMMUNITY HAVE THE MOST REASONABLE TAKE?!
Of note, I'm not talking about Vowsh.
Oh. Thanks for clarifying.
@@lljkgktudjlrsmygilug 💀
That post nut clarity be hittin
@@greenbackjack768 Welcome.
This is like drug addicts getting pissed off that someone left the drug addict community. Goddamn humans are so confused sometimes.
I'm an ex addict and yes my old friends now call me a snitch and a loser
Like seriously I'm the loser😂
Yup. That makes the most sense.
I remember one time I was "on the wagon" from pot for a couple of months, and I ran into one of the guys whose house I would hang out and get high at. He said, "Hey, haven't seen you in awhile, what have you been off the pipe or something?"
It was so awkward because while that was definitely the case, I didn't want to just say that and suggest that the only reason I hung out with them was to get high (which was not the case).
@@fungus1228 Serious addicts absolutely can get bound to one another socially lmao what a ridiculous comment. Mentioning rehab and shit like that's the norm or something. Half the time you won't even be able to recognize a serious addict. They could be taking up a spot in your local board game group and you'd have no idea if you never bothered getting close them. Alcoholics especially form these toxic social bonds with other alcoholics. OP's comment is a bit off. This is not like leaving the drug community, it's like leaving group therapy. The point isn't to wallow in it, the point is to get better. Some people don't realize that for a long time...or ever I guess.
That happens too. You gotta remember, if someone raises themselves up in any way, in some people this news triggers an overwhelming, subconscious wave of self-comparison. And because they aren’t emotionally mature enough to be happy for the newly-raised person, the response will be warped into something hurtful, in an effort to reset the status quo back to it’s previous “comfortable “ level. Humans are weird, but at heart we are kinda simplistic and logical once you get a base insight into what drives us.
It makes no sense how Komesarj is talking about them choosing to stay a virgin as an ideology, that's not an incel, that's just voluntary celibacy.
... yes theyre called volcels.
Exactly! Like, you'd think the virginity being involuntary would be a huge part of it, otherwise they'd be calling themselves volcels or MGTOW or misogynists or whatever.
I know.
Nah, it does kind of make sense once you realise that these people have developed their worldview as a direct result of being involuntarily celibate, and deciding that women are to blame for that. I mean, it obviously doesn't actually make sense, but from the perspective of someone whose brain is that broken it is a logical thing to say 🤷♂️
I never understood incel and I understand it even less now. I was attracted to MGTOW (I still consider myself MGTOW when taking a wide definition) but not getting laid sucks. I was over my 40s when it was my first time. Since then my life is a lot better.
I've always been baffled by how being labeled a virgin in our society is a "bad" thing.
yeah men get shamed for being virgins, women get shamed for not being virgins and people wonder why everything sucks
Because most of them aren't virgin by choice, so it kinda says something about how desirable you are, what are the reasons why you couldn't get laid. No confidence, because you're smelly, because you're a weirdo? Not that complicated.
Your overlords demand that you create more workers.
Like, there's a lot of stuff around that, but that's the core principle, throughout all of history.
The term "incel" isn't JUST speaking about virginity. 🙄 It's about their toxic behavior & foul treatment of Women. Nobody rips on dudes for being virgins when they behave like human beings & treat people w/respect, come on.
@@KabbalahSherry sadly, people absolutely do rip on dudes who aren't getting laid or can't. The whole idea is that a man is as valuable as his ability to be sexually desirable, as it follows that being a "good" person is what makes you attractive. What "needs" to happen is a shift away from believing that being sexually desirable is exactly the same as being a kind and decent human. Unfortunately, jerks do get laid all the time because the qualities that make someone *sexually* desirable are not always going to be synonymous with being truly kind or good. The PUA/Red pill/Manosphere understands the value of sexual attraction and its distinction from simply being a decent human that treats women with respect which is why they persist: they solve the problem of making men feel sexually confident and desirable over simply being nice and hoping someone falls in love with them out of chance one day.
I actually have that “easy to get laid, hard to make friends” problem. And my few friends laugh and say “what problem?” … Dude, it’s… ugh
Might be you're not being vulnerable enough, or don't know yourself well enough to be vulnerable and genuine around people.
Or it might be that you live in a place like Miami where people generally are as shallow as a two-tone marker.
Don't worry about it too much, it's great you're aware of what you want and what's going on. Try to travel and meet people from different communities and backgrounds.
@katakesh8566 why would you make that assumption?
I actually knew someone with that problem, an army guy who told me "yeah I pull birds but I've just lost my soul I can't be romantic anymore"
I sort of have the opposite issue, although I'm somewhat introverted so I deal with isolation better than average (not perfectly).
Can't get laid but can connect with people otherwise. It feels like trading one kind of suffering for another
I'm in a weird grey area, where it's _all_ easy for me. If I shut the fuck up.
Kinda leaves you detached, when you can only allow yourself to _be_ yourself _by_ yourself.
I thought the whole point of being an incel is your were INVOLUNTARILY celibate. If you are choosing to avoid sex, that's voluntary.
To a degree, not unlike the term "boomer", inceldom is better understood as a state of mind.
@@ananousous Yes. The state of mind of "It's everyone else's fault I can't get laid."
This guy's getting shit on because he's contradicting their narrative.
The weird part is that these folks lashed out at somebody in a way that implies that it's their own bitterness that makes them volcels... they're viewing this as a betrayal, when ostensibly this is what they're all _striving_ for.
Right? It's like how can you say you're involuntarily celibate and get mad when someone is no longer celibate unless it's now voluntary. Though I can't help but wonder with these guys in this community, like if any of of them was *poof* suddenly a woman - would they even spend their time of day with people in the same community?
Wow
@@aquamarine7599I'm awful incel
The social control of "you only have us as a community, no one else will take you" is textbook grooming, seen in religions and cults all over. Jehovah's Witnesses are famous for that kind of social coercion. If you want to help someone out, be a non-judgmental person to talk to for them, don't tell them what to do, they need to take the steps alone but you can be an anchor for them.
No one says that except maybe whatever twitter users vaush is looking into here. No incel i’ve ever respected enough to talk to has been on some community building trip. They merely lament their bad fortune that’s about it. It’s very casual and apolitical business.
@@fungus1228 "No incel i’ve ever respected enough to talk to has been on some community building trip."
...Oddly specific qualifier there. "No incel I've ever respected."
Pretty sure the assholes are the ones you Don't respect.
@@patchwurk6652 Yeah I respected a bunch of incels. Baraka Mkray chief among them. He's a bit of a personal hero to me actually. & he is (or was RIP) a prime of example of someone who did not take to discord or any place to organize some incel jihad initiative or any such cringe. I think they're a lot of standard issue misogynists who don't share in that which haunts the truecels and larp accordingly and are not half as interesting or real.
I really like how vaush always acknowledges the Aces when saying things like, "everyone wants to be slamming and jammin". 💜
Everyone wants to be slamming down cold brewskis with the bros and jammin to sweet tunes!!!
He means, “everyone wants connection.”
Like half the aces still want to have sex.
If you WANT be to part of the incel community, you are literally not an incel.
None have a choice well they do but ya know don't have a choice to get laid due to skill issues
At that point, you're just a cell lol
itll call to you sooner or later
being an ince/ in denial isnt any different
ur just coping
@@beganitdidnt6535 ...The fuck are you on about?
It's in the damn name. Incel stands for "Involuntarily Celibate".
If you're CHOOSING to be an Incel, you Are Not an Incel by definition.
I DON'T WANT TO BE
I lost mine at 23, and went briefly went down the mgtow/redpill route. I’m happy I never went that far down the rabbit hole.
I'm 38, and I'm so glad all this red-pill stuff wasn't around when I was younger. I'd like to think I wouldn't have brought into it, but I was so naive in my teens that I couldn't say that with surety. I had my first proper relationship when I was 18, and she cheated, gaslit, and hit me as well. I was so bitter about it afterwards that I can imagine this stuff would have appealed to me.
I'm 29
I've never kissed, held hands
This has the same energy as people in the deaf community getting mad at people who use cochlear implants. Like, the community (supposedly) only exists to provide support for people with an issue but then gets mad when the issue is solved.
I think it's understandable to turn your disability into a kind of identity or marker for identity as a survival mechanism, but we can become very invested in our identities after the point which it makes any sense to do so. There's nothing you're gaining by losing your abilities that you couldn't gain while having them.
I was shocked when I found out about that. But I am autistic, and have seen the pushback against any move to work through autism as well (and not toxic work like ABA, but things like discovering the active genes and possible underlying causes) so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Fair point but I think with the deaf community it is a little bit more complicated since they have to use their own completly seperate language that barely anyone else knows so there is this whole own and unique culture around it compared to the incel shit. I think this here is more like a group od overweight people who constatly complain that they are too fat and want to lose weight but then flip out when one of them actually does it because it was all just about having a big circlejerk and a pity party rather than about really changing anything
Reeealy BIG difference in the part where the group provides actual support for having a real life limitation. It's a literal religion instead of a group of activists
@@edwinvoncarstein Crabucket thinking is what Terry Pratchett called it (so named because you can keep live crabs in a bucket with an open lid, since if any individual crab tries to climb out, it will inevitably get pulled back down by the other crabs).
what's wild is he's like "unfortunately i can no longer associate with this community at all ever again," i mean, your friends should be your friends.
On the one hand, that "fuck you I got mine attitude" attitude is usually toxic.
On the other hand, it's the incel community, and it's good that he got out of that vortex
As someone who is (technically) a femcel, I haven't gotten laid because I found my online girlfriend to be "easy." When the time came id have her for when we met and I never thought about what if we broke up before we had physical intimacy.
Now that I'm single and still a virgin, I kind of feel like I have to put in "work" that is, i have to do the whole dating thing. It's daunting and scary when all u know is ppl online. I think what is happening here with these guys is that their loneliness is their personality and it hasnto MEAN something bc otherwise, they have been wasting their time waiting for someone to hand them a gf for free and little change + effort on their part.
Yes
I have been a fakecel out of weird catholic guilt my entire life so this is actually a really uplifting story that I am like a boogeyman in the incel community. Also, yes I have never ever had sex.
What is a fakecel
Former Baptist - it had the same effect on me. It made every date awkward or miss opportunities because while I was willing to have sex before marriage, they all had to be "the one." All that pressure, when it should just be adult play. Ironically, I had a lot of prospects I wouldn't ask out because they were Catholic ;)
So essentially it was an artificial restriction that was embedded in you that prevents you from taking the unique steps to having sex, and you think that the guy we are talking about has an analogous situation? On one hand, there is no direct evidence from what is shown in the video indicating that to be true, but I also can't see any way in which a mod for an incel community could be well-reasoned other than having a similar situation to you.
I have lots of sex lol. I just lie about it.
There's absolutely nothing wrong w/being a Virgin. It's when dudes turn it into an excuse to sh*t all over Women, and talk down on them & behave really foul, that it becomes an issue. Simply being a Virgin is fine! As far as your religious background forcing the issue... that's a whole different topic tbh. Religion f*cks people up in all sorts of ways besides just condemning sex before marriage.
Therein lies the problem with having it be an identity and a community in the first place. Of all the boneheaded ideas incels have this one is the biggest.
There is extensive research showing that how we label ourselves shapes our expectations and, thus, our outcomes. Imagine "incel" being your identity or worse your political identity and not the situation you're currently in...
Lol yep
Yupp the end goal of the incel "movement" is to eradicate itself. The whole concept of the incel leads to that.
If you choose it then you are not it.
I'm a non-binary female person, 40, pretty introverted, and I do find it easier to "merely" get laid than to have a relationship or friendship. One night is one night. Relationships, friends--thoserequire time and psychological and emotional energy. It is much easier to have one conversation, be attracted, and act on it--which is not a bad or shameful thing at all, even if it goes nowhere. It's just sad people do not have time and energy for more, when they want it. I am not trying to complain. I notice that I often overestimate what I am equipped to give even to my closest relationships. I don't feel I "need" very many close people, yet even the ones I have are hard to keep up with. Relationships cannot be prioritized over being productive and making damn sure you look good on paper in case you get shit-canned.
Dear gods, I dream of what dating would be like in a world with guaranteed housing/health/education.
have you considered marrying young men that can't get laid? that way you have multiple long-term, stable relationships, and the young men get laid and everyone's happy? maybe it could work, idk...
Do you think you might be aplatonic? It took me a while to figure out that I was.
@@gljames24isn't the original word for someone who is unable to form relationships due to lack of empathy actually simply Sociopathic, not the made up word aplatonic? We don't need to invent words just to avoid the unwelcome meaning of valid words....if they are valid, then they are valid.
@@occamraiser Aplatonic people aren't lacking in empathy. They just lack the feeling of wanting to be friends with a particular person.
The people who are mad at him, need to realize there's a difference between being an incel, and being celibate.
I'm freaking incel, okay?
I've never really been able to wrap my head around the incel philosophy, but this seals the deal. One of them finally had sex and they're *mad*? I thought the point was they didn't want to be incels? Isn't that what involuntary means? They make no damn sense.
I'm happy for him as an incel
Cured by a woman's warmth, good for him. Hopefully, he'll lose the misogyny as well. We've all had dry spells, I dated five different women last year, then this year I've had none. Occupy yourself with hobbies, work on yourself. Don't blame it on women and hate them for it.
😏🎯
@The Hermit don't ruin my fantasy, people can and do change.
Thats literally all there is to it, these things just happen naturally, youll get no where forceing it, healthier life better odds it happens sooner than later
Yes, it is very healthy to get laid. I know I lost the vast majority of my misogeny when I got laid. Still some remnants of it though but I don't care. The obsession with the idea that women ruined all my chances is gone. I'm chill now.
Well it'll come back when the divorce papers are handed to him, haha. Well here's hoping it all ends well.
Kinda impressed Komesarj actually responded to all the posters currently flaming him.
I'm not in the incel community, but I am involuntarily celibate. I was born with physical deformities that make sex literally impossible, I jokingly call myself a Trucel sometimes. I've never understood why they hate women, and not themselves like a normal person.
It's easier for them to blame everyone else for their problems
Edit- typo and ffs autocorrect
Ego. But yeah i believe incel was coined for people with problems similar to yours, and then appropriated.
Hope you find love at some point, if that's something you want for yourself. Even if you can't do sex, romance isn't impossible
You shouldn't hate yourself or women. Disabled people shouldn't hate themselves for being disabled but rather the capitalist society for not giving social safety net for the smallest of people
They do hate themselves intensely. Hating women is a coping mechanism.
The dude is so right about saying "no one wants to be an incel"
Like yeah, people forget that "incel" is literally short for "INVOLUNTARILY CELIBATE"
Imagine being pissed that you weren't issued a government sanctioned woman at birth instead of just fixing your own personality
Honestly 😂 LMAO
Why do you assume is personality?
For the past 500+ years, any hard working male that didn’t have something drastically wrong with him (wasn’t out of shape, not mentally/physically disabled etc) was guaranteed a partner. That was the social contract between society and men; men slave away to build and maintain civilisation (something that only benefits women), and civilisation upholds monogamy as compensation
Now society has abolished monogamy but still expects/forces men to keep their end of the deal. It would be like early 1800s cotton farmers announcing that they’d no longer provide their staff with food and shelter but still demanding they continue picking cotton regardless.
Just pERsonalityMaxx Bro so ezzz
@@Andrewbait It's for the most part down to personality, and both incels and femcels both lacking in appearance and yet both having ridiculously high standards, so both avoid each other. A great shame!
It does show that many incels want to be incels. Which by definition disqualifies them from being 'incels'.
That One Piece meme at the end is pure gold. Also, anything that reminds me of my favorite arc in the series has an instant +1 from me
"I hope the stinky hole you got was worth it." A person seriously thought that was a banger of a tweet.
Lol
Great advice with huge empathy in this video, love it.
I was a virgin until 26. In the gay community the hook up culture is very strong. It's never been a scene I wish to be a part of.
So that wouldn’t make you can incel because you were actively choosing no to engage in sex? Right?
that's called a volcel lol
@@outercat where did this person say they were an incel bruhh😭
@@applejuicyjuice they never claimed to be an incel
Hate to break it to you, but this doesn't make you a Scorpio.
It's why we need an actual men's movement that gives a shit about everyone.
@the red king True. And if we could keep it from getting high jacked by men with bad intentions. I actually didn't think the incel thing was bad when I first saw it start up on reddit, but we see how it turned out. Guys who were older virgins and found a way out of it could be just what they need. I'm one of those in spades, but whenever I tried to talk to those guys all I got back was bitterness & self-pity. I don't know how to get through to them if they won't listen.
Well there was Jordan Peterson but he's a white supremacist, Nazi uhhh... Incel supporter, probably...
Oh well at least with him destroyed, there is Andrew Tate to replace him. A much better role model... Nice going leftists.
Find the common ground and shared values, and work backwards from there, and everything will fall into place.
And remember that there are men on the left, and boys who aspire to left ideals who also suffer from similar pathologies.
I agree! The left is dropping the ball on this big time.
"The LeBron James of Incels" just makes me think of the song title "The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving" by AJJ
Given "The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving" was about someone who was doing the irresponsible stuff out of a loneliness-fueled self hatred and has now finally gotten his act together, that's actually rather fitting.
I converted my ex into an ex incel, but the misogyny never actually went away and kept creeping up til the eventual split.
yeah, it's my reservation about being supportive for people like this - it's great that he's no longer identifying with the incel label, but just giving someone who is being toxic what they want is usually the opposite of what you want to do when behavior needs to change.
he just knows youll leave and you did
@@beganitdidnt6535 No, he left me. Then wanted back with me, but I told him he has to work on himself and change, so he just quit instead.
@@beganitdidnt6535 Lol, your name is accurate.
@@RaroHi lol
Man idk what the pharmacy put in my Adderall this time but I was able to do ALL of my chores today, while listening to vods in the background. Wasn't even particularly painful, the time just flew by.
Discipline is amazing!!!
Thats like saying he abandoned his fellow inmates when he was released from prison.
hey its spelled "LeBron" you wouldn't like us calling you "Voosh" now would you huh Vowsh?
Shut up gaRy
so you are mad vaush spelled Lerapist name correctly? you incels literally have nothing going on do you?
Voosh supremacy.
Vouawoosh bad.
Lmao
That he achieved the thing that they all complain about and:
1) suddenly feels he's better than all his bros, and
2) they suddenly assume that he's somehow a completely different person;
just proves that this whole thing had become this warped and weird identity politics thing rather than having any legitimate gripe. Not that all of us (you know, everyone who found the incel and "men's rights" movement laughable) didn't know this to begin with, but it's amazing that they're going through this incel civil war and still don't realize this about themselves and their alleged movement.
He *is* better than all his "bros" though lol
To be fair, pussy can change a man. Give you more respect for women. And if he has even an ounce of that, he is better than them
I'm not far into the video, but I had to say, in his tweet Komesarj is also using language (and getting the response) that I've heard from friends of mine who've deconstructed from evangelicalism or Mormonism. The split-mind about leaving a community you know is harmful, but worried about losing the friendships and connections you've made; The response from other members "wishing them well" in back-handed and aggressive ways. Inceldom is very close in its methods and structure to a cult, and I don't see a lot of people making that connection.
All it's missing is a leader and a way to extract money/labor from them.
@@LimeyLassenno, it has that too (to an extent) in the form of Andrew Tate and FnF
@@LimeyLassen Yeah, it's not a one-to-one connection, obviously. It's more like a cult in search of a leader. It has internal structures and mechanics, and people like Andrew Tate, Piers Morgan, or Paul Joseph Watson will more than happily latch onto it and exploit the members for money.
I've seen three or four comments in here along those lines, and it's implied in what Vaush said about "don't get too caught up with any particular online community at the expense of real life friends". It's clearly that sort of dynamic.
Incels posting L's online never gets old
Turned out he was voluntarily celebrate. That's why the rest of the community are mad; for exposing their mythos of it being an involuntary, intractable position rather than something they can probably do something about, like, er, perhaps being less toxic.
Wow
It's my fault I'm a virgin?
Their reaction to the one guy who's now out is funny yet sad at the same time...
Imagine if there was a support group for people who couldn't pass video games... there probably is somewhere, but just run with this fictional version for a bit. At first it's a bunch of people sharing stories about how they've personally tried and failed at Backwards Long-Jumping through doors, or frame perfect jumps in Paper Mario to clip through the level geometry, or basically any speedrunner trick. But over time the attitude shifts until anyone who's ever even passed a video game is shunned from the group. Then it gets to the point where everyone starts shunning you if you have over 70 Stars, because you shouldn't even be opening the final door, that's not what the inlos (involuntary losers) movement is all about. You can get 69 Stars so you can say "noice" but never 70 or more, that's just right out. -Also, no more than 123 Power Moons in Super Mario Odyssey, and whatever rules for each individual game, all that should go without saying.-
Then one day, someone makes a post about how this one game has a credits button on the home menu, and you can just press it and the credit will start rolling. This is an odd feature that typically only bad videogames have, like ones so bad they know nopony is ever going to finish them; but the point is that for whatever reason, *_the speedrunning community considers this to be "passing" the game._* So, because they were posting about an oddity they found in some random crappy game, they were ostracized from the group for some obscure rule that should never exist in the first place (I disapprove of _all_ credit warp glitches counting as "passing" a game). And, uh... what's the point of this analogy? That this drama is stupid. "We been know" and all that, but this is just me calling it stupid with extra steps... I guess.
Instead of working on themselves, the involuntary celebates became voluntary celebates, but continued to blame everyone else
I'm sorry LOL "Stinky Hole" is sending me bro 😂😂😂😂😂
“ One taste of pussy pie “ 😂😂😂😂
You're right, most don't want to be incels. You're also right about the grass is greener perspective. Just because someone gets laid constantly doesn't mean their life is enviable. It is also sad that his "friends" won't let him come back so to speak if she turns him down. You should be there for friends especially when their lovers break up or divorce them.
It's a common experience with guys like this, they get a tinder match for the first time, get freaky, and the shock to find they don't feel any happier or more fulfilled then before.
@@LimeyLassenI feel that lots of people would still like to get laid with few or no friends than have lots of friends and not get laid at all
@@ericosagie3046 100% it varies from person to person. I can't speak for everyone but i have friends and such so i feel good about my social life. For me it IS the lack of sexual fulfillment and the painful reminder that is my libido that im just alone in that way. This perspective isn't really talked about much honestly.
I cry being a virgin
I would recommend to form bonds with people who have shared ideology and interests. Being an insecure celibate is neither of those. Like, i can relate with these guys; at a time i thought i would never be with someone, sex was only one element. In highschool i wasn't in a group of friends with girls; only some geeks who played videogames and played music. I didn't know how to approach someone i liked (also i thought i would be ashamed for trying and didn't have a chance), nor the circumstances would casually get me there (like it usually happens in movies with geek protagonists).
If i had a friend with a relatable condition, and eventually he dated someone; i would be happy for him, or i would be jealous, or i would envy him; but i wouldn't call him a traitor. Being an incel is a condition in which you can relate with someone else, you can feel sympathy or empathy, etc; but it is not a political movement, it's not something to be protected.
If it was a political movement, what would it be? It can't be one of awareness and empathy or helping people to have better self esteem or get laid or whatever; because they seem to consider it to be treason. So, is it maybe "lets resent women and support every right wing movement that tries to take away their rights. Lets be angry at the world together".
Maybe the real incels were all the friends we made along the way.
Remember. You can’t spell incel without the L!
He turned into a wincel.
Or, E.
Or the I, or N, or C, or E.
@@MetalxLicaxPP NICE~
@@VooshSpokesman NICE~ RIGHT BACK AT YA
6:20 It makes perfect sense if you look at it from the perspective of someone who is selfish and has low self-esteem. They're crabs in a bucket and they don't think they'll ever get out, even if socioeconomic conditions change in a way that leads to the metaphorical bucket getting some height trimmed off. Sure, some crabs near the top will get out, but the bottom crabs resent that and get pinchy.
As someone who is Ace spec I’ve always been fascinated by the incel community. I understand sex is something people enjoy and not having that can suck but getting so rage filled and like insane seems like a bit of an overreaction to me. Also I feel like 99 percent of these peoples issues with forming relationships is their negative attitude and personality cause there are people that looks are not the first thing they look for in people ( myself included) but imo nothing can make me look past someone’s awful personality so these people gotta work on that.
It seems like a bit of a overaction if you have never personally felt it (not justifying their beliefs). But imagine having a urge you basically just have to ignore if it pops up. And all it does is remind you that your not loved in a particular way. A way others around you are. You don't know why nobody likes you this way. All you know is you get physically reminded of it (some more than others due to higher libido) and eventually you have to understand or cope with the fact that. You are alone. Even if you have friends. This side of you, your sexuality is something nobody else cares about and nobody likes you enough to care about it. Some people ignore it just find, but to others its a sad reminder of loneliness in their life that's only made worse by the assumptions people make about you and the fact that you can't really talk about it because you will either be shamed or be thought of as a bad person. Being an incel is just a negative and extremely isolating experience for some people (although they only make it worse by joining hateful groups).
Faceonality Bruh fr fr 💯
@@chunguschungus Its not a myth. Im someone that is living that experience right now and im not even short ugly or a horrible person. I have friends and lots of people get along with me and i tend to make good first impressions AND everyone in my community generally has a positive opinion of me. Yet im alone and can't get a single relationship and have never had sex at all before. Its not a myth. I'm literally dealing with the shit right now. I've been trying and nothing helps. Your just lucky you have never had to deal with it or have seen it in your life. Its easy to just pretend any experience but your own is some myth but it is real. You are literally doing the thing that contributes to the problem. "Oh you can't get laid so its because your just lazy and an incel that enjoys being alone." ffs. If someone is having trouble finding romantic relationships and people like you have nothing to say other than to assume they aren't trying and that they want to be alone well ofc a bunch of these people are gonna go to where they at least feel people care and don't dismiss them. Its just sad that these people go to the incel community. But talking to people about this is really making me realize why they do it. Nobody else gives a fuck about this life experience and either genuinely don't care. Or you get people telling you your life experience doesn't exist while making negative assumptions about you.
I would never suggest anything illegal, but if a lack of sex is bothering you that much: money can be exchanged for goods and services. If it's just loneliness then join a Minecraft server or something lmao.
You're suggesting prostitution??@@Kraus-
Character development is always a good thing. 🎉
that dude said that he still hates women tho, idk why vaush didnt show that comment
@@YoruSensei oof. That sucks.
As I have thought so often, great analysis. Ty Vaush.
Incels really doing a Kylo Ren “TRAITORRRR!!” rn.
They're stuck singing "In the Zone" with Anakin
They do realize incel stands for INVOLUNTARY celibate right
I always thought that “incels” were just a joke or an insult, but there are literally groups of people calling themselves incels? How unbelievably pathetic 😂
yeah. They are an offshoot of the manosphere, stuff like pick-up artists, Mgtow, and such. to be honest, its kinda born of that whole.. 'nice guy' and 'foreveralone' thing a couple decades ago, where guys were buying into alpha and beta bullshit, assuming that 'nice guys finish last' and assumed its impossible to stop being forever alone. It kinda all coalesced into this new community.
yeah kind of like joos
Wow
And now I have the space jam theme stuck in my head 😂
I like the fact he didn't think twice about using his newfound experience to give his incel mates some tips about getting laid, he straight up said "bye losers lmao"
They didn't seem open to constructive criticism.
Looking at some of the posts Vaush showed, let's be honest here. They weren't gonna listen to him anyway.
I'm a loser?
Doing a dive into the account tagged as his girlfriend was…concerning😬. Super misogynistic, saying she would violently kill herself without him, only 19 years old and DEFINITELY being groomed. This will not end well for her.
"Nobody wants to be an incel"
"Where is it written tho"
"In the word INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE"
As much as these guys hate themselves and stew on negativity, it all stems from deep pain. Whether they bring it all on themselves or not, they are in a lot of pain having only known rejection.
The whole "movement" is just a defense mechanism. They build up this hateful, judgemental and insulting social circle as a way to cope and protect whats left of their ego.
If "incel" is supposed to be shorthand for "involuntary celibate", wouldn't anyone voluntarily committing themselves to inceldom not be an incel by definition? Like, claiming someone is betraying the incel community by getting laid implies that they would CHOOSE to turn down sex, which wouldn't make them an incel, they would just be celibate. Logically the end goal of any incel would be to get laid, no? Isn't that supposed to be the whole point, that their celibacy is involuntary, which means they don't want to be celibate? If they have an issue with someone in their community managing to get out by finding a relationiship/having sex, one might come to the conclusion that their problems run deeper than simply not getting laid or finding a partner.
He didn't betray me
@@scifirealism5943 and?
@@v0Xx60 I'm upset I'm incel
@@scifirealism5943 ok? and? I guess I'm glad you don't feel betrayed by someone who got out? I'm not sure what your point is.
@@v0Xx60 yes.
By chastising him for voluntarily breaking his celibacy then they contradict their entire premise.
Damn... the 7th to 9th greatest incel of all time called it quits?
Interesting.
Interesting indeed.
stop it lebron is top 3
@@garywebb2432 FTFY bottom 3
@@argo8028 cap
lmao
Skiiiiuuuup!
The final piece of advice is just true
If you choose to remain an InCel, how do you lay claim to the "involuntary" part? Do you then just become a "Cel"?
I believe they call themselves volcel (voluntary celibate) if they're intentionally being celibate
Normally it would be called MGTOW
That "title" hit me like a salmon into the face
My man could’ve just lied, and kept his prominence. Then again, idk if he got money for this, probably not which is why he decided to leave instead of becoming a grifter
Incels: "Jordan's better anyway"
To them this is like when lebron left clevaland for miami
The only difference is Komesarj isn't going back home.
Don’t get committed to those groups. Fine. …what group can I commit to?
I’m not in any groups but I’m horribly lonely. Is there literally any option to find FRIENDS?
ANYWHERE???
I’ve been looking for the last 6 years and haven’t made a friend. Not a real one. Not Someone I can talk about REAL issues with or anyone who REALLY gets excited to be with me or who REALLY shares passion and hope with me.
There’s just nothing out there, man.
There’s people. There’s groups but friendship is so fukkin dead.
Good luck.
I'm a celibate man, never had sex. Long ago, I just decided to give up. Honestly, I'm happier this way. Trying to seek out a sexual relationship would give me a ton of anxiety.
As a dude who lost their virginity at 25, sex isn't exactly the pinnacle experience you'll have in your life. It's fun, but its also messy, clumsy, sometimes a bit nasty (not the good nasty either). It's at its best when you have an actually emotional connection with someone, and at it's worst you'll be regretting that you did it the very next day.
I think a much more grand experience is to fall in love with someone.
@@AesopTwin "not the good" nasty? You been with someone with incontinence issues or something?
@@fungus1228 no. That could also be a thing that happens during sex, but it's probably rare.
Become a Buddhist monk, this society is collapsing as a whole
Love from a Xanderhal and Shark3ozero Fan!
Someone may enter the incel community because they can't get laid, but once it becomes a choice to stay in that community "for the bros", it's no longer involuntary. Of course, if a self-described incel is going to call someone a traitor for finally getting some, then they're probably more of an incel than even they realize.
Discipline is personal. It cannot be imposed. It is learnt. That is progressive.
Plot twist: their celibacy became voluntary.
"Stinky Hole"
Truly a wordsmith.
Jordan Petersen weeps for this man's fall from grace.
Greatest title of a vid ever
Incel you glad I didn't say banana?
Eh not close enough but still very.
The advice at 12:56 is really solid
I was getting ready for a date when this story broke. Lol. It's definitely a strange, strange world from the outside looking in. I just found out what an incel was like, a month ago. The thing that's so funny to me is the victorian skull pseudo science obsession. It's so weird. Wishing all you incels out there a good therapist, a shower and a sweet partner to come into your lives. I wish the best for people in that community. But from a female perspective, it's got nothing to do with the shape or size of your skull....or mine. Lol
yeaaaaaah.. Ive been following the movement since before Incels were actually a thing. Its all born of that.. 'foreveralone' bullshit that used to be a meme, along with stuff like 'nice guys'. guh. its really all too wild.
Yeah my social circle leans feminine, if someone thinks chicks are freaking about millimeters of bone your off your face
@@TranshumanMarissa lol Weird. It's so far outside of my personal experience I don't know what to say about it?! I'm just concerned because there appears to be a pipeline from the incel community to the alt right?!
>Just [thERapy]Maxx
>[ShowER]maxx
>[pERsonality]Maxx
Bruh So Ezzzz
Love your insight.
i just don't understand. "Its time for a new chapter of my life...defined by having sex once"
I mean.... good for you? good on you for growing and embracing change? but why was the thing that prompted this getting laid? I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't believe that having sex is this life changing experience. But then, I'm a virgin so idk maybe I just haven't given it a fair shake yet; my impression from the outside looking in -- from the bushes ofc -- is that its overrated. A good time, to be sure, a lovely thing to do with someone you love or even just a fun way to kill time with a stranger, but I reject the notion that its something that makes your life worth living. I don't even agree with Vaush that this increase in virgins is, itself, a problem, or at least, his focus on the sex aspect of it. I just view it as a symptom of larger societal problems that need to be addressed because a rise in virginity is not the only consequence of these problems. While I think that's his core position as well, I don't like the emphasis he puts on the actual sex part of the equation. I'm not saying that he's wrong and dumb and stupid and needs to change his rhetorical strategy (put down the pitchforks you idiots) just that I don't like his particular approach to that topic. And that is my right.
idk, its shit like this that makes me wonder if I'm actually ace, because while I've been attracted to people before, it feels like I must be missing something. Or maybe people like this just need psychiatric help. I genuinely can't tell, but this feels pretty psychotic imo. I, personally, would rather sit with the Aces and eat garlic bread then join a community entirely centered around how I can't get laid.
It's the hormones. Post nut clarity implies pre nut mind fog, given by the hormones in your body telling you you have to do it and it's special. The universe revolves around it, life, religion, society, economics, all revolves around getting laid because if the chemicals in the brain.
You're absolutely correct in a lot of ways. Young men getting action doesn't quite solve this problem, politically or materially. We should ask why loneliness is increasing across the bored. Merely devaluing social relationships and making it more common and meaningless does not necessarily solve the problem. Ignoring the problem exists certainly solves nothing. I think Vaush's response was mostly good. I'm always more concerned about the divorce rate. It seems like in developed countries, the divorce rate only falls if marriages fall as well. It's all very interesting. But for you, a person who might be ace, I'm not sure how to solve the problem of you not getting laid, lol. But I think ace people can help in providing a more "objective" analysis on the whole thing. V isn't ace, to my knowledge, so he always comes off as more "subjective".
For some people finally having a sexual experience is getting their sexual identify realized and its the release of a mental burden by confirming someone is comfortable enough to have sex with you or is attracted to you or someone likes you enough to care about your sexual experience. Its not that big a deal for some people but i know people that really weren't doing great in life and having sex actually really did improve their life. Not directly but the snowball effect of feeling loved. The snowball effect of having someone care about a deeply personal side of yourself. The confidence that comes with being wanted by someone even if its just for sex legit caused their life to change for the better.
Once the sword comes out of the stone...or goes in the stone...I don't know where I'm going with this analogy. I'd like to bail out.
These are for sure the same dudes who lost their shit when some plus size people were mad that Adele went on a diet.
It's like what Vaush had said. Some of these movements are self-perpetuating grifts. They select niche social issues as a vehicle to push fringe politics.
They even show there hand when people solve their personal issues. Then get accused of weakening the movement. Pointing to it was never about self-improvement.
Honestly it reminds me a bit of the straight edge community circa 1990's (the period of time when I was within its orbit)
happy 4 him :)
Agreed.
He didnt even necessarily get laid.
He could have rejected the opportunity to get laid and by definition no longer be involuntarily celibate as he would just be celibate
Yes
"Slamming and Jamming" lmao 🤣
*CDC STUDY 85% OF GUYS 18 TO 24* in the USA turned down a date at least once in the last 12 months cos they could not afford to go
South Korea are giving teenagers $500 a month to go dating cos no one is finding partners cos its too expensive in 2023.
I grew up in a very VERY poor family in the north of Thatchers Britain - I NEVER turned down a date cos I could not afford it - even on my salary from working weekends at the gas station
good video, vouwsh
It's funny all the people acting like it's a bad thing to stop being an incel and like he shouldn't want it. It's literally called involuntary and people really act like it's a choice.
I will never understand the mind of someone who adopts the term "incel" as part of their identity willingly. It's not like taking the power back from a racial epithet, incel actually means something and that thing is pretty embarrassing to admit.