As a person with parental trauma and experiences of feeling like I'm not being listened to, same. I'm so happy we can heal together in this community and not do the pain olympics. I wish you healing and everything good in life. ❤️🩹
I've heard so many guys try to make excuses for this kind of behavior, that when I hear a man genuinely disgusted by this behavior I'm lowkey shocked. There's some really disgusted people out there.
My biological father sexually abused and assaulted me when i was just 4 years old. As soon as my mother found out, she fled to a homeless shelter with all 3 of us kids. She didnt question it, disnt argue about it or try to justify what she was hearing. She packed up some shit and left. Im 32 now and she still feels so much guilt for it and blames herself. Thats how a mother should react (not the blaming themselves part ofc). Devastating to go through so much and not have your supposed-to-be protector on your side.
I’m so sorry you went through that! I’m so glad your mom left him though and didn’t question it at all. So many moms choose to believe their partners over their children and their children are the ones left to suffer the consequences.
Nah the fact that theres good men on earth and nice people in general that gives me hope. Shes. A strong woman but yeah it would leave most women traumatized 😢.
@@glacousxx well of course but honestly they don’t speak out against these men nearly enough. Like when roe v wade fell and it’s even difficult to get a life saving abortion more and more now, men have been SO quiet. That’s just one example but the main response I hear from men is “not all men”, which means essentially they are taking it personally as an attack on them and find that more important to address than women being scared and assaulted. There’s good men out there, but the ones doing the crimes and the ones not sticking up for us are too big of a percentage.
@@glacousxx Most *people traumatized. How would anyone even begin to heal that mess? All her support network failed her except for her friends and sister.
It’s scary how common this is. It reminds me of a story of a women that treated her step father like her real father and cared for him when he was too old to care for himself. Only to find thousands of inappropriate pictures of herself all the way from the time she was about 15. She ended up murdering him over it.
Having an unrelated female child around an unrelated adult male is a recipe for disaster. At some point he will look at her as a potential mate🤮. Not saying all stepdads are like this, there are some great ones, but they are outnumbered by the perverts. There are even studies proving that girls with stepdads hit puberty earlier that girls with bio dads, because of the psychological stress of having a unrelated male in the home and this early puberty is what often times triggers the abuse.
Stephanie soo did a video on that. It was such a culture shock and a half at that time but now every week news about another pdf file exposed I've become desensitized
I dated a guy in high school, he was adopted. One day we were talking and he told me his adopted mom was being weird. I asked how, he told me she came into his room and started critiquing his outfit for church. She went over to him and tried taking his clothes off of him while touching his hips and kissing / licking his neck making comments about how he “sure has grown up” he freaked out and ran out of his room. It disturbed me so much when he told me. He was 15, and was adopted at birth- and still wonders if he would have been better off with not being adopted in the first place. His dad was a creep too. Went swimming over at their house a few times, and his dad would deadass be naked in the pool while people were around. Once he approached me with just a towel on in the garage after swimming and was like “has my son shown you what a man looks like” …again all while loosely holding a towel around him. Nobody would suspect a thing since his family had the “well off, cookie cutter look” like his mom would brag about the fact that they had a huge house that used to “be owned by a senator” and his dad was some higher up person for a shipping company’s international branch. Maybe that’s why they fled to Amsterdam. Idk but anyway- I don’t talk to him much anymore, but from what i do know, he doesn’t talk to his adopted family much. Apparently they moved out of the country and are currently in Amsterdam…. He on the other hand is married and seems to be okay for the most part. I often wonder what he went through that he DIDNT tell anyone. Poor guy.
There is also an unfortunate commonality of male and female predators marrying to create a "safe" environment and appear less suspicious. I did a whole study on it with a well known psychologist in college.
This literally means that he NEVER saw her as a child. Like from 6 years old, He saw her in the possible partner category. No sane adult would find the woman they RAISED since six attractive and fall in love with them. Like Sir, Go to hell.
He adultified her as a young black girl and that's not uncommon at all. Studies show that people believe that young black girls are sexual beings with sexual feelings are very young ages so they dehumanize them. So that when young black girls report cases to the police of sexual assault, the police say that they wanted it which results in under-reported cases of sexual assault because the victims know that if they go to the police they will be blamed for what happened to them.
Nope….this happens all the time. There are many sick men and even women out there seeing their children every day and they still molest them. Don’t downplay how sick people (especially depraved men) can be. People get assaulted by their BIOLOGICAL parents more often than you think
Honestly this story sounds heartbreaking already, having a dad who hurt you by stabbing you at the age of four is heartbreaking, then having this pedo of a stepfather come into your life hoping it will get better but ends up getting worse because he’s in love with you. I feel so bad for her
For real, I'm very large-chested since my teens. Starting around 15, when I'd visit my father, he'd want me to bind my chest, ranting about how I could cause "immoral thoughts" and I'd be responsible for good men to "stumble from the righteous path." I also wasn't allowed to go swimming in his apartment's pool anymore. It was such a self-report that when I asked my mom about it, they had a huge fight, and from then on, I didn't spend summers at my dad's anymore.
If this woman still doesn't hate men I'd be shocked. I've been the target of male harassment and violence since I was 12 and I'm 33 now with girls of my own and I really try to make them understand they can't trust any males. It's sad. I wish that wasn't the case but it's true. So many women trust their partners, fathers, brothers, etc. and they end up sexually or physically abusing their kids....
@@SaintShion that's absolutely disgusting. I worked at a "Christian" business and I have a nice badonk lol anyways I dress very modestly but my butt still draws attention. One day my boss who always asked me on dates, called me into his office and on my way I passed an overweight woman whose breasts were popping out of her shirt and anyways when I got there he said I'm not allowed to wear form fitting clothes anymore because I could cause good, married men we work with to have immoral thoughts. I was mad af. I said, "No, the dress code doesn't say I have to wear baggy clothes. I'm going to keep wearing clothes that fit. It's not my fault if a man can't control his own thoughts." He was just quiet because he knew I was right and he couldn't enforce that. So disgusting. This isnt the Middle East. Women don't have to cover themselves because men can't exercise self control. If you can't control yourself because a woman isnt hiding her body under a bag, you're the problem.
My ex step father was like that. He got strangly jealous when I got in my first real serious relationship as a young adult. When my bf asked if he could marry me, sd got enraged and threw hands. When they were separated, it flew out of his mouth that "she's supposed to be with me". I've never been more creeped out in my life and I've never felt worse for my mother. It was a weird, heartbreaking situation.
The same thing happened with my mom's ex husband as well. He'd basically disown me every time I got a girlfriend. He overfed me and made me fat as a teen/kid so no one would want me (he never admitted to this, but I know that's why). My body is permanently damaged from how fat I was. I'm really fucked up from it. I have frequent nightmares still.
The fact they shaved their heads proves that she KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON THE WHOLE TIME! SHE SAW HOW HE LOOKED AT THEM AND WAS LIKE “damn gotta make these kids less sexy to my husband” LEAVE HIM IF HE LOOKS AT KIDS LIKE THEYRE SEXY!!!
This is also a historical racist behaviour! In the past, ww also pushed for "Tignon laws" to be passed to force Black women to wrap their hair for similar reasons. Racist people will always attack Black women and girl's hair and never the w. men, who are targeting said Black women and children with sexual violence. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ 💔💔💔
exactly and it’s disgusting bc it just shows that she was jealous of them. not even concerned for her daughters just jealous that her husband finds them more attractive
I was SA’d at 14. When my three year old told me that her grandmother took her to “Uncle Paul’s” house, and neither myself nor my partner knew who this Paul man was, we cut grandma off. Not the only thing shes done but no way are you taking my daughter around strange men without my consent.
When my mom and my stepdad went on their honeymoon we kids were watched by my grandmother and we were taking over to some dude she was seeings? apartment. My mom legit didn’t know for close to 20 years because I just told her one of my core memories was that apartment visit, and boy was she mad if she hadn’t already went no contact I’m sure that’d have done it.
I wouldn’t leave my kids alone for any period of time with my mom for the same reason. If she wanted to see them, she had to be with me on my terms. She just stopped coming around. I knew what she allowed with me and they’ll do it to your kids too. Good call.
The amount of comments on this video from survivors of abuse is chilling. I grew up always feeling safe in my own home, and if I ever felt uneasy around male relatives (some members of my family have substance abuse issues) my parents would stop visiting them or letting them into our house. When I was old enough to be home alone, they would ALWAYS let me me decide if I wanted to go with them to visit people. I was taught about consent at a young age and what to do if that consent was violated. This is how every single child in the world should be raised and the fact that so many aren't is heartbreaking.
My daughter is 12 and knows ALL about that from a young age…. There’s literally no age that’s too young to have those horrible things happen to them so it’s good to teach them at a young age
My step father did the same. They are sick. My step father after being told he was sick for feeling that way about someone who called him dad, threw bricks through all my windows and tried to kill my mother. He is in prison now for it. Run lady, run!
This is way more common than people think. CPS rarely intervenes, they really focus on "reunification" even when it's not appropriate. It's a horrible system.
I've been looking into it cause I've been curious, and the stories I hear and see are horrible and have made me realize the whole thing is a massive waste of tax money and actively making things worse and just not doing their jobs.
Yup, and they are fcking racist. They are more likely to dismiss the experiences of non white children and chalk the child being abused by the parents up to "it being the childs fault". (In my case they even told me that I should be lucky to have as much freedome as I have for a girl with my ethnicity)
Fr! I’ve heard horror stories and lots of people family and teachers and the parents family friends reporting it and CPS doesn’t even check. But if it’s an immigrant family they are more than ready to deprecate them from their parents forever while if they get these kids out of this type of situation they always try “rehabilitation” which never works. You can’t rehabilitate a sick f*ck who *buses their child in any way! They will play along until they have the kids again! They always do!
The mom only believed her because it endangered her position as his wife. She kicked him out purely because so she could get rid of him first, telling herself it was for the daughter to make herself feel better.
True. Just seeing this video with one person that doesn't think this is okay has made me feel alright. But no. This seems really common. Maybe it's just your point of view when your parents are like this. But the mom seems to look so hard the other way that they ignore it. Sometimes they acknowledge it when it's over the top in the moment. But really briefly. But never admitting the situation. And it blows my mind now being like 30 that the people you thought defended you a bit eventually give in to going along with them just out of pure avoidance of resistance. Like a few aunts/uncles that know the situation. And they just 180. It's alot to invalidate a kid to cope when you are fully aware of the situation. But I think if I can generalize this is just how ladies are treated in small towns. Not just on things like this but..if they say anything that makes you uncomfortable you can just invalidate you..after all. They don't understand women and you just crazy.
I’m a 27-year-old Transgender Male, with mild Cerebral Palsy, and have known my mom’s abusive bf since I was 9. He abused her and I for years - and still currently does. Two months after my 18th birthday, when my mother left for work, he molested me. Did the same thing three months later in January 2015. All because I was now “legal.” Told my high school’s counselor and resource officer, whom I showed my journal of what I wrote down. Finally called the police but he said “That never happened” and called me a liar so the charges were dropped. I dealt with Anorexia and attempted suicide two years later. I’m now finally opening up about what happened, because I now have a little niece, and would never want it to happen to anybody else.
So sorry this happened and it makes me sick thinking how tf is anyone going to have any proof of certain things. I don't understand what we're suppose to do esp when these things happen out of nowhere and take u off guard clearly.
My step dad came into my life at 8. When I was 16 he was allowing me to drink and smoke weed that we started doing it together. Then he started getting creepy smacking my ass and saying weird ass shit. Then one night he asked if I would have sex with him. I said no, he apologized and then 20 minutes later came back upstairs to ask if I was sure. I’m almost 40 now and it still haunts me. Long story short my mother is still married and with him. I went down an extremely dark path and it took many years to dig my way out. I’m sorry to all the other young woman that have been used and abused. IT NOT YOUR FAULT!
I'm glad to have a good father who isn't mess up..........but I do remember when I was 13. His friend visit our house one day and his friend started to touch me in a creepy way. My father and him have not talk to each other after my family moves to another town. If I ever see him again and he do that thing again I will send him to jail.
this is why we see so many women saying they hate ALL men. all the men in their lives failed them. you cant even blame them one bit. there is a sick and twisted power dynamic in the world that allows men to traumatize and humiliate so many women.
I was SA’d when I was 13 and if my (hypothetical) kids ever expressed a MORSEL of discomfort around someone, family friend, my husband, my parents, cousins, ANYONE. They’re out. No one will hurt my kids the way I was hurt.
I am so sorry you went though that it I am glad you are determined to protect your kids not matter who it is because most often it’s someone close to or part of the family. I plan to tell my kids if anything happens between you and anyone that you feel it off or you are uncomfortable around them tell me and we will deal with it. That I will pick them over whoever it is every time. I can get new friends and if they I’d something to my kid I want neither my kid nor I to be nowhere near them.
The Mum taking her husbands side is not surprising to me - when it came out that my uncle assaulted someone in our family when they were young my aunts reaction was ‘what. Am I supposed to give up on my marriage now?’ And is still with him to this day. It just hurts to know that she chose a predator over her own family and refuses to believe the victim.
What an arse 'ole of an aunt! 🤢 My family was the same and tried the gaslight technique. The reason those creeps are allowed to do as they please so far, is because of their wives allow them to do so (in a lot of cases)
Oh my god. How low is someone’s self worth to knowingly be with a predator? An offender? That’s so sad and dangerous- hard to understand how common it really is.
@@Bella-br1ez Her self esteem is so low it’s insane - she turned her back on all of us to stay with him, I’ll never understand it but it will always hurt a little i guess. Thank you for your comment btw xx
As soon as she said she had an "adoptive father", then "....because I've never had a dad..." my heart broke. Adopted kid = your child. Adoptive parents = REAL mom and dad. If a child is raised by a mother and father, and still thinks she never had a dad, the failures/violations/abuse began 20 years ago.
This is why I’m not dating again until my kids are grown. I’d rather die alone than bring someone like that into my kids’ lives and you just never know until it’s too late
Same. promised my 15 year old I will not bring anyone into our lives. It’s what our parents should have done for us, breaking the cycle of hidden abuse.
That's why young women divorce DIVORCE DIVORCE. Those boomer women for some sad sad reason would tolerate these horrendous, evil men and I DONT KNOW WHY?? But ladies nowadays, nope we are OUT!
I think there are a pretty decent fraction of us who were raised as girls that know the feeling of having to change out of pajamas when going out of your room to see family because one of your male family members(uncle, step-dad, etc) may stare at you for a bit TOO long. It’s horrifying how common it is. Wishing the best and sending love to anyone that relates to this story ❤ You are strong, and you are seen.
i wasn’t even safe in normal clothes. when i’d stay at my dads (every other weekend in highschool) we would try to stay in jeans as long as possible but my dad would eventually say “i feel uncomfortable know how uncomfortable those jeans probably are, you should go change” and we’d put on sleep shorts (nike pros, etc because he had no AC) but the final straw was when i went with my sisters and mom to see him for dinner on his birthday. i was wearing a sweater that buttoned in the front and was ever so slightly V neck. he stared at me chest all night. my mom sent us to go to his place for awhile and i texted her how uncomfortable i was so she followed us to his house pretending she wanted to also hangout. he’s been blocked on everything since i was 17.
This happened to me too and he also put photos on some "sites" for these kind of people. These photos are probably still out there. And now I can't trust men anymore. I met a good man but I'm not sure if I ever can have kids and I'm sure he is a good man but some voice in my head still goes "what if" and do I still know someone 100%.
This is waaaay too similar to my step brother who drilled a hole in our shared wall so he could watch me in my bed. And men wonder why we choose the bear.
Sadly it's... actually pretty common for mothers to just ignore/deny/pretend its not happening when fathers are being creepy to their kids. (Speaking from personal experience)
I will never understand this. It makes no sense, biologically, mentally, psychologically... A mother should have a natural instinct to protect their young, psychologically that should be the most precious thing on earth, mentally it shouldn't be hard to think "huh, that's bad." Like WTF! Do better world!
If anyone wants a really honest answer, there are two levels to this - if not more, actually, and I speak both as a survivor and someone with a reasonable knowledge of psychology. The thing about a mother or father who is a survivor allowing their own kids to visit Uncle Creepy is often this: they have been brainwashed to believe they were the only one and that only they are bad enough to deserve it; that Uncle Creepy had never felt that way before (about a minor,) and they therefore live in a world where they’ve been forced to dissociate from the fact it happened at all - sometimes due to being in fear of their life. Therefore, they genuinely don’t believe it will happen to other kids, and it’s very hard for a non-abused person to understand or believe that. But they do grow up believing other kids are “good” and deserve to have a normal life, happy home, and that they are intrinsically bad, or special/different, and therefore have brought this on themselves. We blame ourselves for just about everything as kids because we don’t have much of an external frame of reference, and some of us stay stuck there unfortunately. Sadly, parents like this, who have never dealt with their own trauma, and are therefore viewing the world through the lens of someone who is partly still a little girl or boy mentally and emotionally, will very often attract partners with the same predilections. One of the best pieces of advice for survivors I ever heard was “if someone doesn’t cause your central nervous system to react and you feel if not comfortable, normal, around them - run.” We often don’t get the heart pounding, gut churning, visceral reaction a “normal” person would get around a dangerous person, sadly, until having done some form of therapy or healing modality for CPTSD. When it comes to mothers actually watching something like this happen and doing nothing, that’s something really beyond anything anyone can excuse - it means they’re as messed up as their abuser(s) and have basically been brainwashed to have no normal boundaries or autonomous beliefs about what’s right and wrong- so they can’t successfully parent and would need to go to something not dissimilar to a de-brainwashing programme, with their kids hopefully far away in a safe environment. The realisation of what some people are able to hide from themselves can cause total self destruction, unsurprisingly. Sometimes our non-abusive, (yet still partly colluding parent if they don’t believe us,) basically goes through their stages of emotional development far later than someone who hasn’t been abused , and in those cases it can be possible to completely forgive them for failing to protect you while in a dissociative state, especially if they were under 26 (it’s normally when a person’s cerebral cortex goes through its final growth spurt at this age that they suddenly start to reframe everything they’ve been through through the lens of a more adult mind,) They can very sharply gain horrific clarity about what the motives of adults around them were as a kid, and realise that they themselves were abused - and also that if any of their friends or the same age group were “just good friends” with a 12 year old, for example, they’d rather die than have anything to do with them. Some people actually never get there, or the horror of all the PTSD/CPTSD flashbacks they start getting around 25/26 cause them to spiral into life threatening addiction or severe mental health issues that again, make them a totally inadequate and unsafe person to be a parent, even if inside they are a beautiful soul who just can’t grasp wtf normal even is. Abusers cause cycles of abuse, and many parents of young kids end up being blind to what’s going on, and listening to apologies or protestations of innocence with the same ears they had as an abused child listening to and trying to justify/be gaslit out of believing the reality of what their own abusers did. This is where the vast disconnect is between a well adjusted person’s mind and the mind of someone for whom abuse is all they’ve ever known. It’s also worth mentioning here that CSA is a fairly common cause of narcissism - where a person despises their victim self so much that they literally create a new, fake person in place of the old one and may well be unlikely to ever accept the reality that they were an absolutely shocking parent. TL:DR, age appropriate education about boundaries both in person and online that doesn’t wreck kids’ innocence, and the existence of trusted adults in schools that victims can talk to and be believed by, needs to start from the moment kids are in any kind of education setting outside the home. I chose not to have kids, not because I don’t love children, but because I ended up with Harm OCD, and I was so convinced I’d be a terrible parent, I just chickened out really.
I wasn't SA'd by an adult but my 14 yo cousin when I was 5. I didn't tell my mom until I was 11 (and I suffered mentally for years from it) but she immediately believed me. I can't imagine mustering up the courage to be so vulnerable and then basically be called a liar in front of your abuser.
My cousin was like 5-8 years old and she had a half brother who was 17 that I wasn’t related to and he had SA’d her and she told her and his dad and her mom (not his mom) the dad wouldn’t believe her, they went to court and got zero justice and the dad disowned him, she’s grown up and okay now tho
she’s the female version of Keanu Reeves, tragedy after tragedy after tragedy yet still comes out on top and shining. what a strong and resilient woman, wishing her future is bright and fulfilling💛
@@AmyHoldaway27his wife n him was supposed to have a child back in 1999 I believe, but the child was a stillborn (died in his wife’s womb at 8 months), his wife suffered from depression so they separated but they still remained good friends. she died in 2001 after a car crash not shortly after her and keanu got back together, his father left out his life by 3, his very close bestfriend (river phoenix) died when Keanu was only 23 and so so so much more.
Why do people always want to bring up Keanu Reeves' tragedies when discussing him online? If he wasn't so opposed to social media and he saw all the conversations around him I'm not sure he'd love how often people bring up all the deaths he's dealt with.
I love how Cooper talks to us like that supportive ADHD friend who just got some tea on a certain topic Edit: Everyone im not trying to make ADHD fun and quirky. In my experience as someone who has ADHD, it can be really tough with ones hyperactivity and anxiety, focusing problems and more. What I’m saying is that from my perspective Cooper makes me feel like I’m more normal, I feel related too. Just how he is makes me feel better about myself and who I am. ADHD can form in multiple ways, a spectrum, there is the stereotypical very hyperactive and out there and energetic ADHD, and there is more inverted ADHD that has more focus on concentration and more things. It’s not the same for everyone, but just with me, Cooper is how I am when I am really hyperactive and interested and focused on a certain topic, an sudden amount on a topic that I just NEED to tell my friends about, and that’s why I find comfort in him and how he is. I’m really sorry if I wrote it like I was boiling down ADHD to just some quirky personality trait but my intention was just to tell people how comfortable and happy he makes me feel just by being himself on the internet.
Growing up my mom brought this strange family into our home because she wanted to be a nice person and help out a coworker. The guy was graping his daughters. One got pregnant by the dad and the baby came out really badly deformed and because of it the hospital called the police and cps. He ended up going to jail. The daughter testified on behalf of her dad and my mom responded with maybe she liked it. That moment solidified me not telling her that my dad was abusing me. She was never a safe person for me to tell.
she was never a safe person period. Who the fuck finds out a man was assaulting his own daughter and suggests she may have ENJOYED it??? That's fucked up. She's fucked up. I'm so sorry she failed you.
Wow...your mom suffering from BRAIN DAMAGE?? THAT was her RESPONSE to a dad graping his daughter?!! I once read a book how society progressed and people who wanted to be parents needed to go through simulation tests to see how they would react to a scenario, unware those simulations aren't real and that they are being observed. If only we had those simulations, your mom would've been weeded out I am so sorry you suffered like this
My step-dad did a similar thing; Raised me since I was two, had an alright relationship with my bio-dad, and eventually decided to start making moves on me when I was 15. You wouldn't believe how much I blamed myself for this situation. I hid it from everyone, thinking I would ruin my family, for two years. He went off the deep end and attempted to kill me via arson. I hope she takes care of herself and prep for the worst
@JanicePhelps-g1u I am so sorry you guys went through this. Abuse in any form is disgusting and having to endure this from a young age is heartbreaking. This comment section is just💔 so many kids were failed by adults in their lives. I wish you peace and healing my love🫂❤
My adoptive mother justified my adoptive brother SA'ing me because we weren't biologically related... Instead, I got in trouble for talking about it. She told me, "if you ever tell people, they will come and take you away. You won't be (Name) anymore. You won't see (brother you love) again. You'll go into foster care and no one will want you. I worked in foster care, remember? I know what those kids go through. Do you want that?" SA turned into PA & EA. I tried not to hide it and prayed someone would notice, but they never did. Even when I showed up in pretty much full body casts & a wheelchair, no one questioned it. Adoptive kids can go through hell and it's always justified as "you're not biologically ours."
As a 17 yro who’s bio father attempted SA on me at 12, I relate sm to having that “gut feeling”. Like after that shit, you just can’t trust anything they do or say, despite their role of being someone you should be able to trust most in the world.
Im sorry you had to go through that, I was SA by my bio sis when i was 8 trust me you will never forget it but eventually you will learn to live with it. (Sorry if the last part where I said you will learn to live with it sounds rude, its not supposed to be.)
@@desireerose5960 I hope that learning to "live with it" as you put it has gone well for you, genuinely. You didn't deserve what your sister did to you and I hope you've managed to heal as well as you can.
The step mom probably was so mean to her because she deep down knew he felt that way, and was jealous or felt competition, which happens more often than anyone likes to admit
i was thinking the same thing. it’s so tragically common. if you see your fucking CHILD as competition for your partner, you’re just as fucked in the head as the predator themself.
Not step mom, adoptive mom, which to me makes it worse. She doesn’t have other parents, and she lived with them full time since age 6 which is basically life. A step mom could fit this description too but yeah the adoptive parents in this case
Yeah, I also think this. It baffles me that people can somehow manage to justify this behavior in their mind. Especially after being straight up, called out, or confided into.
Fun fact: When Christ was asked what women should do to avoid arousing men, he responded that the men should gouge out their eyes to avoid being aroused. So Cooper has Jesus Christ's support in his suggestion for the father.
TW: MENTIONS OF CSA I am a csa victim both of my abusers were my father figures. My mom used to be in the room with me when my second abuser would let me sit in his lap and touch me inappropriately and she didn't do anything about it. When I told her about my first abuser she didn't believe me. It's just something people don't want to accept about the people they love even if their kids are telling them these things. She even kicked me out of the house when I was 12 because she thought I was trying to "sleep with" my stepdad (second abuser). it's insane. I do blame my mom. The fact this woman's mother has the audacity to do this and feels like she shouldn't be blamed while also being a csa victim is insane. I hope she never has to see him again. edit: thank you for your kind words btw!! I can't say my situation has gotten any better mentally but I'm holding on with support from my friends. I don't have contact with my second abuser or my mother so please don't worry about me! Thank you if you did, I hope you all are happy and safe. :)
Bruh, my dad thought I was trying to fuck EVERYONE! Even my brothers 🤢. Like, who thinks that way!? Turns out he wanted to fuck me and was jealous of every guy in my life. He thought that since he was secretly turned on by normal things I did that my brother's or everyone else would be too 😳. He outed himself as soon as I turned 13......
I’m very sorry that you had to go through something so disgusting… I hope you are well and surrounded by people who actually love you and are sane and not fckin creeps.
I can’t even fathom the thought process of anyone who thinks their twelve year old child is trying to sleep with their husband. I’m so disgusted I hope you have the resources and the people in your life to help heal from this. ❤️
my dad still won’t admit he assaulted my little sister last year and throws a crying fit bc he’s “not a monster 🥺” every time I explain to him why I can no longer have a relationship with him
"WAY TOO COMMON"? This is only the 2nd or 3rd time ever that I've heard of an adoptive father professing their love to their adoptive child so I wouldn't say this is common... Fortunately
@alexiiconner Sorry but to whom is this behavior "common"? Seriously... because once again it's not everyday that a "father" professes he's in love with his daughter? Let alone an adopted father... And I'm really grateful it isn't 🙏
@@Naturefan354 I think they're saying that sexual abuse and weird dynamics among family members and inappropriate behavior towards children by family is common. That's why the "creepy uncle" trope in pop culture and movies even exists. Most people I know, including myself, at minimum have experienced creepiness from family members.
@@norazulkifli2517fr! And stats show they are actually smoking he best for adopting because they really want those kids because bio kids is not possible to have both their dna and is really really expensive and depending on them being able to carry the IVF or having a friend willing to do so for them.
The same thing happened to me. You can literally Google my predator. my mom didn’t believe me and nobody else believed me and now he’s in prison for sodomizing, his stepdaughter and stepsons. If they would have listened to me, I could’ve saved those kids. 😢
It’s not your fault, its not fair to blame yourself for not saving them when that situation should’ve never been made possible in the first place. I hope your healing journey is filled with love
It's not your fault, you're not to blame. It wasn't your responsibility to save those children. You were a victim too. The people responsible for protecting them AND you were your mom and the other parent/s of his stepchildren. And by failing to protect you, these people failed to protect the other children. I'm sorry to you and those children that the adults in your life failed you. I hope they all feel ashamed of themselves for doubting you now.
Dear I hope you know and realise you're not at fault. It's on them for not believing you. THEY could've saved those kids if they had listened to you. I'm so sorry for everything you had to go through. You're a fighter and a survivor. Stay strong 💜
I remember mentioning Woody Allen and his daughter to someone and they were like "um, actually. She was his ex-girlfriend's adopted daughter and they met when she was 16/17!!" Okay? That does not make it better! Farrow and Allen were dating for like 10 years. Not married but that's a pretty intense relationship!! His relationship with Soon Yi started almost directly after he stopped his relationship with Farrow!! Why is that not setting off alarm bells in your head!!!!!!!
I grew up watching 1980's TV, seeing the child Soon Yi being carried around by her father-figure Woody Allen, I was a teenager when it was outed that they had sexual relations with each other when SHE was a teenager. When people stan for Woody Allen it makes my damn skin crawl.
Yeah, that's a cope. The fact of the matter is that he came into her life when she was a child, and he functioned as essentially a father figure for a long time. Going from that to dating her, especially so soon after ending a relationship with her mother, says that boundaries were majorly crossed while they should have been operating as essentially father and daughter. It's like how people say that Mary Kay Letourneau was totally cool because she and Vili Fualaau later married and were married for a long time, or that Celine Dion's relationship with her husband manager who met her when she was 12 and he was in his 30s and married with children her own age was cool because they were married until his death. In all three cases, not only were there massive age gaps, but also huge power imbalances that the older party took advantage of. Just because the grooming took hold really well or even potentially shifted into actual love doesn't change the fact that the relationship started with grooming and inappropriate s3xual behavior towards someone who was in a massive position of vulnerability. Trying to excuse any of that is disgusting.
yeah i definitely remember seeing pictures of woody with a CHILD a LITTLE ASS BABY GIRL when it came out he was getting married so idk about that i think he just legally adopted her when she was a teen ??? idk but i don't even wanna search it up im already nauseous 🤢
The fact she was raised by this monster for 15 years only to have him tell her he loved her, people like this don't deserve to be parents, it's like the saying "every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child"
I just wanted to add if your father is sexualizing you and your mom wont have your back if you feel physically safe enough to, kids find another adult to tell that will help and support you. Teachers are mandatory reporters so if you tell them they have to help you. If you are an adult like me counseling can help to sort through things alot. I applaud this woman for being brave enough to share her story.
Yes! Teachers can and will help you! Heck even family friends will help you! I’m sure once they know what is happening they will support you! Though tell only those you trust some horrible people surround themselves with other horrible people.
@@lilianaledesma7254 is not always that easy, especially when your family is well known in the community. I tried telling people. They went to my parents who denied everything rather than going to the police or cps...
@lilianaledesma7254 kids don't always have the right words and when you grow up in that environment it's seen as 'normal'. What? Your brother didn't come in and SA or abuse you as a kid?? Mind blown... that's honest to God how I felt when I was a teen. I told everyone I could after that, no one listened.
I’m gonna be so honestly unless you specifically explain what is going on to teachers I never had any luck with getting them to help me at all which is so hard when your parents abuse you because you don’t trust adults already
Agnes, the dance team/cheerleader fill in that also played clarinet, knew everyone’s tea, but unironically filled out the hand me down dresses from her aunts and casually wears grandma’s shoes to school that you cant buy anymore. Nice sneakers. Full figure. Goes thrifting without having to announce it.
The way she gaslight herself into thinking she was overreacting most of her life is so upsetting to me :( She had to deal with this man for her entire child and teenage life, and STILL told herself that it was maybe ok, and that SHE was being the weird one, these thing seriously efect ppl, this is wild. ALSO, I'm still shocked about the brother thing?!?
She should be able to call the equivalent of child protective services for their state and report his misconduct with her during her childhood to instigate an investigation into potential abuse towards his current children. That's how it went down for me; it was solely found out because his adult daughter was in family/couples therapy with him (yes, ew) and the therapist used what they discussed there as a basis to have someone look into his conduct with me.
My step Dad was on this path. My final straw was when he tried to convince my Mom I did porn because he “saw me.” In one 🙄. It obviously wasn’t true and all my Mom could say was “why did he see you? Are you sure”. I stopped talking to her for years after that. They’ve since broken up and he needed up with one of my ex coworkers who was slightly older than me. The whole situation deeply clarified so many red flags I had growing up about my family.
why the fuck would you ask your daughter if she's "sure" whether she was doing porn or not??? "Why did he see you" idk because he was projecting or smthn??? because he's a creep???? glad you have him out of your and your mother's lives, as well as having your enabler mother out of your life too.
I got thrown out of my parents house at 18 because my bio Dad tried to make a move on me and I told my mom and she got mad at me for trying to "ruin the family". Honestly after years of therapy I realized that there were a lot of shady things that happened before then too but I thought that they were normal because my mom (who was also an SA victim starting at age 2) gaslit me into thinking it was my fault or that it was normal and "just what men do". No, I don't talk to my parents anymore.
Glad you are away from them ❤️ My mom and brother had the same idea of me trying to 'ruin the family' by telling everyone abt my creep uncle (moms brother) She may have been abused by her brother too when she was younger, (he is 15 years older than her, and was always a rowdy and pervy guy) but we're not too sure...
your mother was getting it absolutely twisted in saying it was your fault. The only person ruining the family was the very person she was trying to defend. You did nothing wrong. Your dad was the problem and your mom didn't help by enabling him.
Wouldn’t be surprised if other men in that family are like that. “That predator move in flocks. That name gotta be registered and placed on neighborhood watch.”
Being hit on by an adult man you know since you were a child is traumatizing, seen the signs being ignored by those supossed to protect you, its just heartbreaking, a kind of heartbreak I cannot even explain.
As crazy as this is, it’s textbook. Single mothers are targeted by predators because they’re usually pretty receptive. It’s hard for single mothers to find partners because generally men don’t want the “baggage” and men like this seek them out. It’s easy access to children, and if they do a good enough job, the mothers will believe them over their own children. Its crazy. And the mother having been a victim is even more classic, as victims are more commonly victimized.
They don't just go after single mother's. Often she's a single mother because of a predatory man. Even husbands can be predatory. Yes, we know it's not all men, but most men are seriously disturbed and disturbing.
It's healing to hear you mad about this. My dad is step-father of my sister. He abused her since he met her (she was 6) until she was 12. My mom forgave him and forced my sister to do the same. I never did, this happened 20+ years ago. Insanity, depravity, it's a crazy world. I have the biggest trauma and worst relationship w my family because they try to make me look like the crazy one, so nobody believes me. This happens and there's people willing to forgive it, insane.
.......please be serious, Adoption is only out of reach if you are poor there are no roadblocks to adoption unless you're poor or queer. Pedos with money are aloud to shop for foster kids
Right? CPS and all the gkverment systems are so corrupt in the world rn, like what we have in most places in better than nothing, but in places like America currently and some other places nothing would be better cause then at least civilians could take matters into their own hands. I'm starting to believe it was better in older days, you had community, and that community would step up and stone to death, kill and let victims kill their abusers etc. Obviously, that's probably hopeful thinking and the best case scenario. Child marriage has been normalized so much throughout human history, but I have hope normal people have condemned it long before our modern justice system. We really need to find a governing system that works solely in favor of the people and isn't easily corrupted by the loud, power-hungry, self-distructive maniacs that we've let in power time and time again. God help us all if he exists.
Yeah I’ve heard so many horrendous adopted parent stories both online and in real life it’s almost impossible to trust this system. People act like adopting is the most noble thing you can do, and it is really noble, but it definitely is not ALWAYS noble in fact it often can be horrific. My own grandma treated her adopted daughter like Cinderella, starving her and making her do all the chores and chopping her hair off and on and on. But the whole family looks at her like she’s a saint! It’s just wild.
I feel like the system is so broken, I've heard way more horror stories then happy yet there's so many people who would make amazing parents who are denied. Personally if I were better financially I'd love to adopt but idk if they'd allow me to since I'm single.
just wanted to add into how horrible our system is to protect children here and how common this is- my step dad and mother were the same way. He helped raise me from age 7 to 17. Groomed and sexually abused me for all of those years. My mom “didn’t believe me” and enabled his behavior. CPS investigated twice after I told my therapist on multiple occasions of what was happening- they refused to do any testing, only interviewed him- to which he obviously said “i didn’t mean it in THAT way” and “I didn’t do anything” and that was enough for them to drop the cases. My mom moved us all to Georgia to isolate us since I kept telling everyone I knew so they could help me out of my situation. I ended up dropping out of high school in my senior year, 5 months before graduation, and moved 14 hours away to escape them. She’s still with him to this day and defends all of his actions.
Trigger Warning My actual dad did this. Not the marry part, but the "I'm in love with you" part. Touched me, kissed me, I was 18 💀🤮🤮 I wish I had blacked out, I just froze and had an out of body experience. Suffice to say I left home. People are disgusting.
My stepmum did what their adoptive mum did too, brought him into my room, sat him on my bed (I was also on my bed) where he'd been when he did it, and made me tell him over and over what he'd done. That was just as traumatizing to be honest. This poor girl
I hate to say this, but this reminds me of that one guy that adopted a pregnant 18 year old girl, and was like: “wHeRe iS mY bLoWiE??”. And he had a tie dye shirt, and his poor wife didn’t even want to adopt her. That creep basically was hoping to date her/leave his wife for her. I think it was Chad Chad that covered that video. I could be wrong.
My stepdad(raised me since i was 2) started SAing me around 14 years old. Its a slow process, and ofc i didnt want to but i was SCARED BRO. Thankfully when i spoke up arpund 18 years old my mom helped me get a restraining order against him, but i was very worried that she would just think I'm trying to "steal her man" or something.
another downside to people enabling abusers - it gives enough victims horror stories to share that make other victims scared to tell people out of fear they'll be treated the same. Just so we're clear, I'm not blaming the victims. I'm blaming the people who blame them. The victims are only sharing their stories. The victims are never to blame.
this poor woman. every man in her life has put her through something traumatic. praying that she heals from it and finds someone that treats her like the queen she is 🫶
I think it’s kinda crazy to be like “get to the point” when someone’s trying to recall their trauma. It’s hard to remember shit and be cohesive with your words when your brain is actively trying to block out what happened
Agreed, although I usually think it's meant not to be taken seriously, and probably a symptom of his ADHD. But yeah, could be more delicate about it, or just not say it/edit it out if that's an option.
@@sipi2009 tbh as a neurodivergent person myself, I get it: things slip out. I try not to use that as an excuse for saying something shitty, though. If I say something shitty, I say something shitty-and that’s that. We all do.
This is not the first time he's done that and it always pisses me off. Even if it is something like ADHD, there's no reason why he can't edit out the bits where he's extremely insensitive before he uploads the video. I wonder if anyone has tried to point this issue out to him.
Bro I’m adopted too and that’s like the scariest thing ever. Like especially because people already don’t really feel like adoptive families are real. Like my heart goes out for her!!!
My adoptive dad also hit on me when I was her age (about 15 years ago). He raised me since I was 2 years old. For obvious reasons I barely talk to him. I now have a husband with 2 kids (10 and 8). She can live a life after this trauma... she may need help, but she can still live a beautiful life. I hope that she does. She deserves it. Forgive my broken english, I'm crying for her and english is not my first language. ❤
i think there is a sincerely strange epidemic of step fathers or adoptive fathers never developing a paternal instincts for the children theyre meant to care for and rather developing a sexual or romantic attraction. its like the wires get crossed, and its disgusting. as a victim myself, i truly wonder if there will ever be an end to adults acting this way. its disgusting. as an adult myself, now, i look back at all the warning signs and wonder why my mother never did anything to stop my step father. i wonder why so many mothers are negligent in this area. i wish more people were open to discussing this without wanting an excuse or reason; there is no. no matter whats firing wrong in your brain there is no excuse for hurting a child. there is no excuse for being attracted to one. theres no excuse for excusing this behaviour.
I’ve thought about this a little bit, and I think it’s societal. I think how we sexualize and objectify female…presenting? Identifying? People is a lot of it. Another weird aspect may be how little we seem to expect of fathers (you know, how they’re lauded for basically doing normal parent things?). Unfortunately the category of prn shows that we don’t condemn or view such things the way we should. And there are other factors. Those are just a couple that I’ve been pondering
I just feel so horrible for her, having gone through that kind of trauma as a kid only to have to put up with THIS. Some people are truly just disgusting.
Ewww, incest is on TikTok all the time it’s so disgusting… edit: by ew and disgusting I mean the abuse and how often it happens, I thought it was obvious but ig not. I’ve witnessed incest first hand in my family and it’s so discomforting and all my aunts and uncles normalize it and continue the cycle of this unhealthy behavior to continue
Unfortunately incest abuse is more common than anyone would like to believe. You might want to take more care in how you talk about it. When you say "ewww" and "disgusting" in regard to incest rather than the abuse specifically, victims of incest abuse are likely to internalize that. Survivors of incest abuse feel that "ewww" and "disgusting" might be directed at them and not solely at their abusers. The taboo does a lot of harm to survivors, it fills them with shame and silences them. I wish the taboo were about the abuse rather than the scenario in which the abuse occurs.
My mom's ex husband did bad things to me and my sister from when i was 8, all the way until i escaped it at 15. We tried telling our mom but apparently its common to have a sit down convo with the predator and the victims and ask if it's true or not. No one deserves that.
@@cashkitty3472that's so egotistical, just because your parents weren't doesn't mean none are. Soo many men are creepy in many different ways so be grateful for your privileges of having a normal life and not being abused
This is a little insensitive. She likely found that sharing this trauma was a good way to cope with what happened, but that does not make you entitled to know all of the traumatic events that have happened to her. Her trauma is not your entertainment. If she decides to share it one day, good for her, but it shouldn't be for "content" or "entertaining."
@@tangear my comment really wasn’t that serious. If she doesn’t feel comfortable telling the story then I respect that. I’m not going to go searching for it.
If she’s divorced by 21, I would assume it was one of those circumstances in which someone just marries to get away from their horrible family home and the person they chose just took advantage of her vulnerability… sadly this story is far too common
@@tangearwhy you here then? You just watch these videos shaking your head the whole time showing that you disapprove? 😂 humans are interested by interpersonal drama. Sorry this is news to you apparently
@@Da_bear-ij9gm all I'm saying is that we should respect people's boundaries. She was fine to post this situation online, therefore I have no qualms. It's her choice. But it doesn't mean any of us are entitled to anything else about her past.
It’s actually more common than you’d think when a mom/grandma will take the side of their pedophilic husband…. Very weird and so so incredibly sad. Just assume that their daughter or granddaughter is lying because they don’t want to conceive that their partner is a weirdo.
Lots of ppl commenting on this, have yet to see anyone mention how common this problem is in males in the first place. Maybe we should consider that when stepsister/stepmom/stepdaughter content is the most popular on certain platforms, this is the result we’ll continue to see more and more of
@@Da_bear-ij9gmwhat if it isn’t the result though. What if that’s the problem of something way bigger that has been around for years finally revealing itself? This has to stop.
I have so much compassion for this poor woman. I had a similar experience. My mother refuses to believe my dad sexually harrased me, even when it was done in front of her, but that was expected bc she is a narcissist. My other family members don't believe me either, bc he was careful not to do it in front of them.
@@Misscircle6578 all things considered, yes. I cut off all my family except my grandparents bc they do help me out financially in emergencies. Fair play to me if they don't believe me. My mother convinced them I'm just a troubled, attention seeking, anxiety ridden, sad person. It can be lonely but I'm trying to create my own chosen family that is much better.
@@TooUwUforyou even if they buy what she's shilling, they should still reach out and show concern and believe you. People don't start being "troubled, attention seeking, anxiety ridden, sad" because it became a trendy fashion. Even in her lie she was admitting you had something wrong going on. If they didn't try to support you or reach out to you or listen to you then that's on them. You go build that chosen family, dude. You deserve them.
I was like 13 when I went to some family event at my cousins house, this random old guy who was my “great uncle who held me as a baby” asked me to sit on his lap in front of the ENTIRE family with them all cheering me on. This was just after they were commenting about how “old” I look and how “mature and pretty” I am. My mum very quickly got me out of there, then my dad apparently had an argument with the cousin who hosted it. I’m not allowed to see them anymore
Unfortunately... the mom, or whoever, being in denial about abusive situations or acting like whatever is "normal" isn't uncommon. It's like they're afraid to admit, to themselves, that they chose to be with such a horrible person and they've been making excuses for them for SO LONG that they just block out the bad automatically.
It's sad and pathetic. Don't be a parent if you can't commit to protecting your children and loving them unconditionally till the day they or their soul dies.
@@TheRealAbbyLeah2yeah honestly the fact that cooper implied that this is more common in the south and that this is hillbilly evil really rubbed me the wrong way. That’s a really gross thing to imply
Cooper, when you said why she gonna leave us on 30 second cliff hanger to hear if the mom believed her or not- she's reliving a traumatic experience, and it can be extremely difficult to vocalize those events. In saying this, i love how supportive you are throughout hearing her story. Just had to mention this~
This messes me up on every part because I went through the same ish thing that led to court. The judge threw my case out, and I was charged instead. When you're young and have any issues, they can spin it that you're the problem instead. 3 court cases in two types of court, now I'm waiting for the DA to pick up my case for criminal. I was lucky to escape. But now I see it's not as uncommon... Thank you for saying how evil these people are. They truly are.
I agree with all of your reactions. Because this hurts my heart. No one believes us. Legal systems don't work even with the worst offenses. "This can't be" it's happening all the time.
I think that the mom probably was one of the hugest things to blame becuase why tf did she not listen when her kid said she needed help and that he scared her?!?? If a random kid came up to me and told me that in the street I would sacrifice everything to help that child… and her mom didnt. tbh thats just sad
@@canesugar911it’s not “the hugest blame”, I’ll give you that, but it does feel like many people don’t consider the complicity… like… the hair shaving thing?! She was enabling him and putting her perverse relationship over her children.
my ex from high school was adopted along with her 2 younger siblings. Her foster dad( before they had adopted them, they fostered them for a bit) decided when their older foster sister hit 18, that he didnt love his wife anymore, he loved the 18 yr old foster child hes been in charge of for the past few yrs. they divorced, him and the freshly adult foster child ran off, had a coulpe kids and got married...
I don't think the mother did not belive her when they were younger, she just choose to turn a blind eye and then when she came to know that her husband wanted to marry her daughter which implied that he was ready to divorce her and leave her, that made her angry.
I have a 25 year old stepson whom I have known since he was 3 years old. I cannot *fathom* what kind of mental haywire monstrous mixed up awful brain glitch sickness has to go on in someone’s mind for this to happen. Ew!
i feel HORRIBLE that girl. her biological dad STABBING her then her adoptive DAD. DAD. loves her ROMANTICALLY?? it’s actually insane.
Plus she got separated from her little brother..
@@apatheticsins8377 yeah
Proof that having kids doesn't automatically turn you into a good person
I would also rather be stabbed than have someone I loved and trusted was a creep to that level. I agree with her ratings
@@romantic_hippie wait, people actually say this?? genuine question, not trying to be disrespectful
my dad sexually abused me for years and seeing cooper be this angry at both him and the mom is genuinely cathartic
I didn't know how to describe it but yes definitely cathartic. Less crazy.
As a person with parental trauma and experiences of feeling like I'm not being listened to, same.
I'm so happy we can heal together in this community and not do the pain olympics. I wish you healing and everything good in life. ❤️🩹
❤❤❤❤ love to you bubs. I'm so sorry xx
I agree with you
I've heard so many guys try to make excuses for this kind of behavior, that when I hear a man genuinely disgusted by this behavior I'm lowkey shocked. There's some really disgusted people out there.
This man adopted her to groom her, he knew he wanted to marry her all along.
That's the same thing I was thinking. He obviously didn't do a good job. Thank goodness.
Yep.
I'm pretty sure he didn't know all along he wanted to marry her, but that really changes little to nothing either way
My biological father sexually abused and assaulted me when i was just 4 years old. As soon as my mother found out, she fled to a homeless shelter with all 3 of us kids. She didnt question it, disnt argue about it or try to justify what she was hearing. She packed up some shit and left. Im 32 now and she still feels so much guilt for it and blames herself. Thats how a mother should react (not the blaming themselves part ofc). Devastating to go through so much and not have your supposed-to-be protector on your side.
Im so sorry…. Hope you heal 💗
i’m so sorry to hear that. i hope you’re doing ok now ❤️ sending lots of love
I’m so sorry you went through that! I’m so glad your mom left him though and didn’t question it at all. So many moms choose to believe their partners over their children and their children are the ones left to suffer the consequences.
Great mum. ❤
yes absolutely so glad your mother cared abour you more than a sexual predator
If my bio dad, step dad, and ex husband fail me in the worst ways possible, I would legitimately never want to be around a man again.
I have an amazing Dad and amazing Husband and I still feel like swearing off all other men.
You'd be surprised
Nah the fact that theres good men on earth and nice people in general that gives me hope.
Shes. A strong woman but yeah it would leave most women traumatized 😢.
@@glacousxx well of course but honestly they don’t speak out against these men nearly enough. Like when roe v wade fell and it’s even difficult to get a life saving abortion more and more now, men have been SO quiet. That’s just one example but the main response I hear from men is “not all men”, which means essentially they are taking it personally as an attack on them and find that more important to address than women being scared and assaulted. There’s good men out there, but the ones doing the crimes and the ones not sticking up for us are too big of a percentage.
@@glacousxx Most *people traumatized. How would anyone even begin to heal that mess? All her support network failed her except for her friends and sister.
It’s scary how common this is. It reminds me of a story of a women that treated her step father like her real father and cared for him when he was too old to care for himself. Only to find thousands of inappropriate pictures of herself all the way from the time she was about 15. She ended up murdering him over it.
Yes I remember this and was thinking about it the whole time
Her whole life 😭 she trusted that man
Having an unrelated female child around an unrelated adult male is a recipe for disaster. At some point he will look at her as a potential mate🤮. Not saying all stepdads are like this, there are some great ones, but they are outnumbered by the perverts. There are even studies proving that girls with stepdads hit puberty earlier that girls with bio dads, because of the psychological stress of having a unrelated male in the home and this early puberty is what often times triggers the abuse.
Slay
Stephanie soo did a video on that. It was such a culture shock and a half at that time but now every week news about another pdf file exposed I've become desensitized
if I remember that correct she was found guilty of murder and got in jail for it right?
I dated a guy in high school, he was adopted. One day we were talking and he told me his adopted mom was being weird. I asked how, he told me she came into his room and started critiquing his outfit for church. She went over to him and tried taking his clothes off of him while touching his hips and kissing / licking his neck making comments about how he “sure has grown up” he freaked out and ran out of his room. It disturbed me so much when he told me. He was 15, and was adopted at birth- and still wonders if he would have been better off with not being adopted in the first place. His dad was a creep too. Went swimming over at their house a few times, and his dad would deadass be naked in the pool while people were around. Once he approached me with just a towel on in the garage after swimming and was like “has my son shown you what a man looks like” …again all while loosely holding a towel around him. Nobody would suspect a thing since his family had the “well off, cookie cutter look” like his mom would brag about the fact that they had a huge house that used to “be owned by a senator” and his dad was some higher up person for a shipping company’s international branch. Maybe that’s why they fled to Amsterdam. Idk but anyway-
I don’t talk to him much anymore, but from what i do know, he doesn’t talk to his adopted family much. Apparently they moved out of the country and are currently in Amsterdam…. He on the other hand is married and seems to be okay for the most part. I often wonder what he went through that he DIDNT tell anyone. Poor guy.
💔
There is also an unfortunate commonality of male and female predators marrying to create a "safe" environment and appear less suspicious. I did a whole study on it with a well known psychologist in college.
@motherofcats6494 adoption isn’t the problem, it’s just some of the people that decide to adopt (like the dad in the video)
@@merlinsmagic6061that’s so wild- 😭
I. AM. TRAUMATIZED!
>adopts a daughter, raises her since 6
>wants to marry her
The true definition of insanity
Woody Allen POV:
Count Olaf vibes
You're everywhere...
Yes thank you I watched the video
I swear you are everywhere
every single man in this woman's life FAILED HER istg😭😭 wdym "you're confused"?????
Istg her husband better be good
Her sister was with her iirc
@@ケインの王I don’t think she’ll ever even want to have one 😭 she needs a break
@@TheRealFurinaDeFontaine What does iirc stand for
@@S3YKOCH4N if I remember correctly is what iirc stands for
This literally means that he NEVER saw her as a child. Like from 6 years old, He saw her in the possible partner category. No sane adult would find the woman they RAISED since six attractive and fall in love with them. Like Sir, Go to hell.
not even hell is enough for this man 😭 he needs tartarus
He adultified her as a young black girl and that's not uncommon at all. Studies show that people believe that young black girls are sexual beings with sexual feelings are very young ages so they dehumanize them. So that when young black girls report cases to the police of sexual assault, the police say that they wanted it which results in under-reported cases of sexual assault because the victims know that if they go to the police they will be blamed for what happened to them.
Yep 😁 absolutely true
Nope….this happens all the time. There are many sick men and even women out there seeing their children every day and they still molest them. Don’t downplay how sick people (especially depraved men) can be. People get assaulted by their BIOLOGICAL parents more often than you think
@@vixithespiderlingAgreed wtf
Honestly this story sounds heartbreaking already, having a dad who hurt you by stabbing you at the age of four is heartbreaking, then having this pedo of a stepfather come into your life hoping it will get better but ends up getting worse because he’s in love with you.
I feel so bad for her
For real, I'm very large-chested since my teens. Starting around 15, when I'd visit my father, he'd want me to bind my chest, ranting about how I could cause "immoral thoughts" and I'd be responsible for good men to "stumble from the righteous path."
I also wasn't allowed to go swimming in his apartment's pool anymore. It was such a self-report that when I asked my mom about it, they had a huge fight, and from then on, I didn't spend summers at my dad's anymore.
@@SaintShion I’m so sorry you had to go through that ☹️ sending love and hugs, I hope you’re feeling better 💗
It was her adoptive dad not step dad
If this woman still doesn't hate men I'd be shocked. I've been the target of male harassment and violence since I was 12 and I'm 33 now with girls of my own and I really try to make them understand they can't trust any males. It's sad. I wish that wasn't the case but it's true. So many women trust their partners, fathers, brothers, etc. and they end up sexually or physically abusing their kids....
@@SaintShion that's absolutely disgusting. I worked at a "Christian" business and I have a nice badonk lol anyways I dress very modestly but my butt still draws attention. One day my boss who always asked me on dates, called me into his office and on my way I passed an overweight woman whose breasts were popping out of her shirt and anyways when I got there he said I'm not allowed to wear form fitting clothes anymore because I could cause good, married men we work with to have immoral thoughts. I was mad af. I said, "No, the dress code doesn't say I have to wear baggy clothes. I'm going to keep wearing clothes that fit. It's not my fault if a man can't control his own thoughts." He was just quiet because he knew I was right and he couldn't enforce that. So disgusting. This isnt the Middle East. Women don't have to cover themselves because men can't exercise self control. If you can't control yourself because a woman isnt hiding her body under a bag, you're the problem.
My ex step father was like that. He got strangly jealous when I got in my first real serious relationship as a young adult. When my bf asked if he could marry me, sd got enraged and threw hands. When they were separated, it flew out of his mouth that "she's supposed to be with me". I've never been more creeped out in my life and I've never felt worse for my mother. It was a weird, heartbreaking situation.
@@argarman09 Glad he’s an “ex” step-father.
@@PlayerTenji95 100%
What happened to your bf??
@@yourshoulderdevil5229 he put SD on his back. We eloped the next day. We just celebrated 16 years together this month.
The same thing happened with my mom's ex husband as well. He'd basically disown me every time I got a girlfriend. He overfed me and made me fat as a teen/kid so no one would want me (he never admitted to this, but I know that's why). My body is permanently damaged from how fat I was. I'm really fucked up from it. I have frequent nightmares still.
The fact they shaved their heads proves that she KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON THE WHOLE TIME! SHE SAW HOW HE LOOKED AT THEM AND WAS LIKE “damn gotta make these kids less sexy to my husband” LEAVE HIM IF HE LOOKS AT KIDS LIKE THEYRE SEXY!!!
Exactly!! Because why?!… WHY!? You know why, we all do.
Right, like damn! Leave him! And if you can't leave him for whatever reason, at the very least send your kids to live with someone you trust.
This is also a historical racist behaviour! In the past, ww also pushed for "Tignon laws" to be passed to force Black women to wrap their hair for similar reasons. Racist people will always attack Black women and girl's hair and never the w. men, who are targeting said Black women and children with sexual violence.
🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
💔💔💔
exactly and it’s disgusting bc it just shows that she was jealous of them. not even concerned for her daughters just jealous that her husband finds them more attractive
@@Hopeydopery THIS
I was SA’d at 14. When my three year old told me that her grandmother took her to “Uncle Paul’s” house, and neither myself nor my partner knew who this Paul man was, we cut grandma off. Not the only thing shes done but no way are you taking my daughter around strange men without my consent.
I’m so sorry
When my mom and my stepdad went on their honeymoon we kids were watched by my grandmother and we were taking over to some dude she was seeings? apartment. My mom legit didn’t know for close to 20 years because I just told her one of my core memories was that apartment visit, and boy was she mad if she hadn’t already went no contact I’m sure that’d have done it.
Damn. Sorry. Did u ever find out who ‘Uncle Paul’ was? Maybe it’s just me, but my thoughts would be eating away at my brain until I knew who it was.
Period!
I wouldn’t leave my kids alone for any period of time with my mom for the same reason. If she wanted to see them, she had to be with me on my terms. She just stopped coming around. I knew what she allowed with me and they’ll do it to your kids too. Good call.
The amount of comments on this video from survivors of abuse is chilling. I grew up always feeling safe in my own home, and if I ever felt uneasy around male relatives (some members of my family have substance abuse issues) my parents would stop visiting them or letting them into our house. When I was old enough to be home alone, they would ALWAYS let me me decide if I wanted to go with them to visit people. I was taught about consent at a young age and what to do if that consent was violated. This is how every single child in the world should be raised and the fact that so many aren't is heartbreaking.
It's truly heartbreaking
Your parents deserve a Nobel fucking peace prize
My daughter is 12 and knows ALL about that from a young age…. There’s literally no age that’s too young to have those horrible things happen to them so it’s good to teach them at a young age
My step father did the same. They are sick. My step father after being told he was sick for feeling that way about someone who called him dad, threw bricks through all my windows and tried to kill my mother. He is in prison now for it.
Run lady, run!
Holy shit bro 😭
Omg! I am so sorry ❤
I hope you and your mom are doing better now 💗
i hope you guys are doing better!!! that sounds terrifying!
so glad he went to prison, i hope youre doing better now! ❤
This is way more common than people think. CPS rarely intervenes, they really focus on "reunification" even when it's not appropriate. It's a horrible system.
And that’s in the rare case where they remove a child outta the house at all ☹️
I've been looking into it cause I've been curious, and the stories I hear and see are horrible and have made me realize the whole thing is a massive waste of tax money and actively making things worse and just not doing their jobs.
Makes you wonder who RUNS CPS 🤔
Yup, and they are fcking racist. They are more likely to dismiss the experiences of non white children and chalk the child being abused by the parents up to "it being the childs fault". (In my case they even told me that I should be lucky to have as much freedome as I have for a girl with my ethnicity)
Fr! I’ve heard horror stories and lots of people family and teachers and the parents family friends reporting it and CPS doesn’t even check. But if it’s an immigrant family they are more than ready to deprecate them from their parents forever while if they get these kids out of this type of situation they always try “rehabilitation” which never works. You can’t rehabilitate a sick f*ck who *buses their child in any way! They will play along until they have the kids again! They always do!
The mom only believed her because it endangered her position as his wife. She kicked him out purely because so she could get rid of him first, telling herself it was for the daughter to make herself feel better.
💯 FACTS and excellent point.
She never actually left him though, she lied obviously
True. Just seeing this video with one person that doesn't think this is okay has made me feel alright.
But no. This seems really common. Maybe it's just your point of view when your parents are like this. But the mom seems to look so hard the other way that they ignore it. Sometimes they acknowledge it when it's over the top in the moment. But really briefly. But never admitting the situation.
And it blows my mind now being like 30 that the people you thought defended you a bit eventually give in to going along with them just out of pure avoidance of resistance. Like a few aunts/uncles that know the situation. And they just 180. It's alot to invalidate a kid to cope when you are fully aware of the situation. But I think if I can generalize this is just how ladies are treated in small towns. Not just on things like this but..if they say anything that makes you uncomfortable you can just invalidate you..after all. They don't understand women and you just crazy.
i saw the title in the notification and just went “HUH??”
Sameee
SAME 😭
I was so confused 😭
No fr
no literally😭😭
I’m a 27-year-old Transgender Male, with mild Cerebral Palsy, and have known my mom’s abusive bf since I was 9. He abused her and I for years - and still currently does. Two months after my 18th birthday, when my mother left for work, he molested me. Did the same thing three months later in January 2015. All because I was now “legal.” Told my high school’s counselor and resource officer, whom I showed my journal of what I wrote down. Finally called the police but he said “That never happened” and called me a liar so the charges were dropped. I dealt with Anorexia and attempted suicide two years later. I’m now finally opening up about what happened, because I now have a little niece, and would never want it to happen to anybody else.
I hope you will get justice :(
So sorry this happened and it makes me sick thinking how tf is anyone going to have any proof of certain things. I don't understand what we're suppose to do esp when these things happen out of nowhere and take u off guard clearly.
I'm so so sorry
I wish you the best fellow cerebral pasly haver. You got this!
I'm so happy you're still here with us. I'm sorry for all the pain you've endured. I hope your mother sees the light and leaves :(
My step dad came into my life at 8. When I was 16 he was allowing me to drink and smoke weed that we started doing it together. Then he started getting creepy smacking my ass and saying weird ass shit. Then one night he asked if I would have sex with him. I said no, he apologized and then 20 minutes later came back upstairs to ask if I was sure. I’m almost 40 now and it still haunts me. Long story short my mother is still married and with him.
I went down an extremely dark path and it took many years to dig my way out. I’m sorry to all the other young woman that have been used and abused. IT NOT YOUR FAULT!
Im so soryy that it happened to you...I hope u are getting better
im so sorry how horribke
I'm glad to have a good father who isn't mess up..........but I do remember when I was 13. His friend visit our house one day and his friend started to touch me in a creepy way. My father and him have not talk to each other after my family moves to another town. If I ever see him again and he do that thing again I will send him to jail.
Have you told your mother?
That is horrible!!
“WOOP WOOP that’s the sound of the police 👮” -my honest reaction
WOOP WOOP 🚨 that's da sound of da beast
WOOP WOOP Assassin de la police
Lol nicely done whoop whoop
🚔🚔🚔🚔🚔
🚨🚔👮💅🚓
Honestly if this woman goes the rest of her life hating men… I don’t even blame her.
this is why we see so many women saying they hate ALL men. all the men in their lives failed them. you cant even blame them one bit. there is a sick and twisted power dynamic in the world that allows men to traumatize and humiliate so many women.
seriously like give this woman a pass already
Many women do live their lives terrified/hating men for those reasons. Women don’t hate things/people for no reason.
No fr bc I would too
He literally waited til she was 21 as if he had ANY chance ☠️
red pill nonsense made them delusional, they think they get more attractive with aging, to younger women in their daughters age.
The worst part is he really believed it should be a chance.
I was SA’d when I was 13 and if my (hypothetical) kids ever expressed a MORSEL of discomfort around someone, family friend, my husband, my parents, cousins, ANYONE. They’re out. No one will hurt my kids the way I was hurt.
I am so sorry, that you had to go through that ❤
you will be the perfect parent
You are already an amazing mom. ❤
I am so sorry you went though that it I am glad you are determined to protect your kids not matter who it is because most often it’s someone close to or part of the family. I plan to tell my kids if anything happens between you and anyone that you feel it off or you are uncomfortable around them tell me and we will deal with it. That I will pick them over whoever it is every time. I can get new friends and if they I’d something to my kid I want neither my kid nor I to be nowhere near them.
You deserved to be protected I’m sorry the people you were supposed to trust failed you so horrifically
The Mum taking her husbands side is not surprising to me - when it came out that my uncle assaulted someone in our family when they were young my aunts reaction was ‘what. Am I supposed to give up on my marriage now?’ And is still with him to this day. It just hurts to know that she chose a predator over her own family and refuses to believe the victim.
What an arse 'ole of an aunt! 🤢
My family was the same and tried the gaslight technique. The reason those creeps are allowed to do as they please so far, is because of their wives allow them to do so (in a lot of cases)
Oh my god. How low is someone’s self worth to knowingly be with a predator? An offender? That’s so sad and dangerous- hard to understand how common it really is.
@@Bella-br1ez Her self esteem is so low it’s insane - she turned her back on all of us to stay with him, I’ll never understand it but it will always hurt a little i guess. Thank you for your comment btw xx
How disgusting
I really hope somebody else is checking on and being there for that daughter.
As soon as she said she had an "adoptive father", then "....because I've never had a dad..." my heart broke. Adopted kid = your child. Adoptive parents = REAL mom and dad. If a child is raised by a mother and father, and still thinks she never had a dad, the failures/violations/abuse began 20 years ago.
This is why I’m not dating again until my kids are grown. I’d rather die alone than bring someone like that into my kids’ lives and you just never know until it’s too late
yeah, my mom was the same way, she didn't date seriously until we were adults, my sister and i were very beautiful and men used to leer at us
Same. promised my 15 year old I will not bring anyone into our lives. It’s what our parents should have done for us, breaking the cycle of hidden abuse.
Good job! You're right to do this. Protect your children😊
My mom is the same. Sometimes I thought she was being overly protective, but there are a lot of weirdos out there, so...
that’s good. my mom never cared and brought so many men around
this dude gives similar energy to that tlc husband who "adopted an adult" just to cheat on his wife💀
For real that was gross
That's why young women divorce DIVORCE DIVORCE. Those boomer women for some sad sad reason would tolerate these horrendous, evil men and I DONT KNOW WHY?? But ladies nowadays, nope we are OUT!
Oh yeah! That’s that show they took off the air after like 1 episode right?
Wtf????
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT OFFF
I think there are a pretty decent fraction of us who were raised as girls that know the feeling of having to change out of pajamas when going out of your room to see family because one of your male family members(uncle, step-dad, etc) may stare at you for a bit TOO long.
It’s horrifying how common it is.
Wishing the best and sending love to anyone that relates to this story ❤ You are strong, and you are seen.
real
i wasn’t even safe in normal clothes. when i’d stay at my dads (every other weekend in highschool) we would try to stay in jeans as long as possible but my dad would eventually say “i feel uncomfortable know how uncomfortable those jeans probably are, you should go change” and we’d put on sleep shorts (nike pros, etc because he had no AC) but the final straw was when i went with my sisters and mom to see him for dinner on his birthday. i was wearing a sweater that buttoned in the front and was ever so slightly V neck. he stared at me chest all night. my mom sent us to go to his place for awhile and i texted her how uncomfortable i was so she followed us to his house pretending she wanted to also hangout. he’s been blocked on everything since i was 17.
@@kinsiebelleomg that’s terrible
This happened to me too and he also put photos on some "sites" for these kind of people. These photos are probably still out there. And now I can't trust men anymore. I met a good man but I'm not sure if I ever can have kids and I'm sure he is a good man but some voice in my head still goes "what if" and do I still know someone 100%.
They will never admit just how many of them are predators. It's mind boggling how fundamental abusing us is to them
This is waaaay too similar to my step brother who drilled a hole in our shared wall so he could watch me in my bed.
And men wonder why we choose the bear.
your stepbrother did WHAT
What the hellll!
My cousin used to come into my room at night and take photos of me and try to touch me. I’d choose bear.
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry
Thats so fucked up
Sadly it's... actually pretty common for mothers to just ignore/deny/pretend its not happening when fathers are being creepy to their kids. (Speaking from personal experience)
I will never understand this. It makes no sense, biologically, mentally, psychologically... A mother should have a natural instinct to protect their young, psychologically that should be the most precious thing on earth, mentally it shouldn't be hard to think "huh, that's bad." Like WTF!
Do better world!
@@sipi2009this. Like what?!
It really is too common. Idk why, Uncle Touchy is no way that good in the sack to justify letting him abuse your kid.
@@wolvie1618 honestly it's a cycle innit. These mothers must have thought it was "normal", because that's what they had 😭
If anyone wants a really honest answer, there are two levels to this - if not more, actually, and I speak both as a survivor and someone with a reasonable knowledge of psychology.
The thing about a mother or father who is a survivor allowing their own kids to visit Uncle Creepy is often this: they have been brainwashed to believe they were the only one and that only they are bad enough to deserve it; that Uncle Creepy had never felt that way before (about a minor,) and they therefore live in a world where they’ve been forced to dissociate from the fact it happened at all - sometimes due to being in fear of their life.
Therefore, they genuinely don’t believe it will happen to other kids, and it’s very hard for a non-abused person to understand or believe that. But they do grow up believing other kids are “good” and deserve to have a normal life, happy home, and that they are intrinsically bad, or special/different, and therefore have brought this on themselves.
We blame ourselves for just about everything as kids because we don’t have much of an external frame of reference, and some of us stay stuck there unfortunately.
Sadly, parents like this, who have never dealt with their own trauma, and are therefore viewing the world through the lens of someone who is partly still a little girl or boy mentally and emotionally, will very often attract partners with the same predilections.
One of the best pieces of advice for survivors I ever heard was “if someone doesn’t cause your central nervous system to react and you feel if not comfortable, normal, around them - run.” We often don’t get the heart pounding, gut churning, visceral reaction a “normal” person would get around a dangerous person, sadly, until having done some form of therapy or healing modality for CPTSD.
When it comes to mothers actually watching something like this happen and doing nothing, that’s something really beyond anything anyone can excuse - it means they’re as messed up as their abuser(s) and have basically been brainwashed to have no normal boundaries or autonomous beliefs about what’s right and wrong- so they can’t successfully parent and would need to go to something not dissimilar to a de-brainwashing programme, with their kids hopefully far away in a safe environment. The realisation of what some people are able to hide from themselves can cause total self destruction, unsurprisingly.
Sometimes our non-abusive, (yet still partly colluding parent if they don’t believe us,) basically goes through their stages of emotional development far later than someone who hasn’t been abused , and in those cases it can be possible to completely forgive them for failing to protect you while in a dissociative state, especially if they were under 26 (it’s normally when a person’s cerebral cortex goes through its final growth spurt at this age that they suddenly start to reframe everything they’ve been through through the lens of a more adult mind,) They can very sharply gain horrific clarity about what the motives of adults around them were as a kid, and realise that they themselves were abused - and also that if any of their friends or the same age group were “just good friends” with a 12 year old, for example, they’d rather die than have anything to do with them.
Some people actually never get there, or the horror of all the PTSD/CPTSD flashbacks they start getting around 25/26 cause them to spiral into life threatening addiction or severe mental health issues that again, make them a totally inadequate and unsafe person to be a parent, even if inside they are a beautiful soul who just can’t grasp wtf normal even is.
Abusers cause cycles of abuse, and many parents of young kids end up being blind to what’s going on, and listening to apologies or protestations of innocence with the same ears they had as an abused child listening to and trying to justify/be gaslit out of believing the reality of what their own abusers did. This is where the vast disconnect is between a well adjusted person’s mind and the mind of someone for whom abuse is all they’ve ever known.
It’s also worth mentioning here that CSA is a fairly common cause of narcissism - where a person despises their victim self so much that they literally create a new, fake person in place of the old one and may well be unlikely to ever accept the reality that they were an absolutely shocking parent.
TL:DR, age appropriate education about boundaries both in person and online that doesn’t wreck kids’ innocence, and the existence of trusted adults in schools that victims can talk to and be believed by, needs to start from the moment kids are in any kind of education setting outside the home.
I chose not to have kids, not because I don’t love children, but because I ended up with Harm OCD, and I was so convinced I’d be a terrible parent, I just chickened out really.
I wasn't SA'd by an adult but my 14 yo cousin when I was 5. I didn't tell my mom until I was 11 (and I suffered mentally for years from it) but she immediately believed me. I can't imagine mustering up the courage to be so vulnerable and then basically be called a liar in front of your abuser.
I have a cousin like that and I was feeling uncomfortable. I see him as my family member while he sees me in a romance way...........
My cousin was like 5-8 years old and she had a half brother who was 17 that I wasn’t related to and he had SA’d her and she told her and his dad and her mom (not his mom) the dad wouldn’t believe her, they went to court and got zero justice and the dad disowned him, she’s grown up and okay now tho
@@HTuanKsornot “romance” you mean deranged perverted way..
I’m astonished at how young men start hurting women.. they really are born monsters
she’s the female version of Keanu Reeves, tragedy after tragedy after tragedy yet still comes out on top and shining. what a strong and resilient woman, wishing her future is bright and fulfilling💛
Wait I don’t know anything about Keanu Reeves what has he been through? 😨
@@AmyHoldaway27he lost his wife
@@AmyHoldaway27his wife n him was supposed to have a child back in 1999 I believe, but the child was a stillborn (died in his wife’s womb at 8 months), his wife suffered from depression so they separated but they still remained good friends. she died in 2001 after a car crash not shortly after her and keanu got back together, his father left out his life by 3, his very close bestfriend (river phoenix) died when Keanu was only 23 and so so so much more.
Why do people always want to bring up Keanu Reeves' tragedies when discussing him online? If he wasn't so opposed to social media and he saw all the conversations around him I'm not sure he'd love how often people bring up all the deaths he's dealt with.
@@billbill6094Honestly, this is the first time I'm hearing about it, personally.
I love how Cooper talks to us like that supportive ADHD friend who just got some tea on a certain topic
Edit: Everyone im not trying to make ADHD fun and quirky. In my experience as someone who has ADHD, it can be really tough with ones hyperactivity and anxiety, focusing problems and more. What I’m saying is that from my perspective Cooper makes me feel like I’m more normal, I feel related too. Just how he is makes me feel better about myself and who I am. ADHD can form in multiple ways, a spectrum, there is the stereotypical very hyperactive and out there and energetic ADHD, and there is more inverted ADHD that has more focus on concentration and more things. It’s not the same for everyone, but just with me, Cooper is how I am when I am really hyperactive and interested and focused on a certain topic, an sudden amount on a topic that I just NEED to tell my friends about, and that’s why I find comfort in him and how he is. I’m really sorry if I wrote it like I was boiling down ADHD to just some quirky personality trait but my intention was just to tell people how comfortable and happy he makes me feel just by being himself on the internet.
Real
Literally. like watching his videos feel like just gossiping with my other ADHD friends
Facts and we are all there for it tho
Reallll
I love him too 😍
Growing up my mom brought this strange family into our home because she wanted to be a nice person and help out a coworker.
The guy was graping his daughters. One got pregnant by the dad and the baby came out really badly deformed and because of it the hospital called the police and cps. He ended up going to jail.
The daughter testified on behalf of her dad and my mom responded with maybe she liked it.
That moment solidified me not telling her that my dad was abusing me. She was never a safe person for me to tell.
I’m so sorry. You should have been protected. You deserved that.
she was never a safe person period. Who the fuck finds out a man was assaulting his own daughter and suggests she may have ENJOYED it??? That's fucked up. She's fucked up. I'm so sorry she failed you.
You deserved to be protected I’m sorry the people you were supposed to trust failed you so horrifically
Wow...your mom suffering from BRAIN DAMAGE?? THAT was her RESPONSE to a dad graping his daughter?!!
I once read a book how society progressed and people who wanted to be parents needed to go through simulation tests to see how they would react to a scenario, unware those simulations aren't real and that they are being observed. If only we had those simulations, your mom would've been weeded out
I am so sorry you suffered like this
Did anyone find out about your abuse 😢
My step-dad did a similar thing; Raised me since I was two, had an alright relationship with my bio-dad, and eventually decided to start making moves on me when I was 15. You wouldn't believe how much I blamed myself for this situation. I hid it from everyone, thinking I would ruin my family, for two years. He went off the deep end and attempted to kill me via arson. I hope she takes care of herself and prep for the worst
I went through the same. I was 14
@JanicePhelps-g1u I am so sorry you guys went through this. Abuse in any form is disgusting and having to endure this from a young age is heartbreaking. This comment section is just💔 so many kids were failed by adults in their lives. I wish you peace and healing my love🫂❤
Sorry you had to go through that and continue to suffer.
It’s been over fifty years for me and I still feel broken.
Same here. It's...violating whenever he stares at me. I can't even wear 'pretty' clothes without him saying some weird shit
@@deviantpanda1206 i am so, so sorry you are going through this. please stay safe, however you can.
My adoptive mother justified my adoptive brother SA'ing me because we weren't biologically related... Instead, I got in trouble for talking about it. She told me, "if you ever tell people, they will come and take you away. You won't be (Name) anymore. You won't see (brother you love) again. You'll go into foster care and no one will want you. I worked in foster care, remember? I know what those kids go through. Do you want that?" SA turned into PA & EA. I tried not to hide it and prayed someone would notice, but they never did. Even when I showed up in pretty much full body casts & a wheelchair, no one questioned it. Adoptive kids can go through hell and it's always justified as "you're not biologically ours."
What does PA and EA stand for if you don’t mind me asking?
Is PA physical assault? and is EA emotional assault or no?
@@efirosegallardo7 you got it. Sexual, physical, emotional.
@@amandakorbe3773 im truly sorry..
I'm so fucking sorry. I hate that this is so exploitable, we should be protecting children no matter where they come from
As a 17 yro who’s bio father attempted SA on me at 12, I relate sm to having that “gut feeling”. Like after that shit, you just can’t trust anything they do or say, despite their role of being someone you should be able to trust most in the world.
@@gcldvnblytz I’m so sorry, I hope that you’re healing and doing better.
@@PlayerTenji95 ty I rly appreciate it
Im sorry you had to go through that, I was SA by my bio sis when i was 8 trust me you will never forget it but eventually you will learn to live with it. (Sorry if the last part where I said you will learn to live with it sounds rude, its not supposed to be.)
Yes. And you gaslight yourself into denying it or forgetting it, but your body can’t stop being terrified of them.
@@desireerose5960 I hope that learning to "live with it" as you put it has gone well for you, genuinely. You didn't deserve what your sister did to you and I hope you've managed to heal as well as you can.
The step mom probably was so mean to her because she deep down knew he felt that way, and was jealous or felt competition, which happens more often than anyone likes to admit
i was thinking the same thing. it’s so tragically common. if you see your fucking CHILD as competition for your partner, you’re just as fucked in the head as the predator themself.
Bro I hate this world, what the actual fuck???
It’s so weird. People like that shouldn’t have kids.
Not step mom, adoptive mom, which to me makes it worse. She doesn’t have other parents, and she lived with them full time since age 6 which is basically life.
A step mom could fit this description too but yeah the adoptive parents in this case
Yeah, I also think this. It baffles me that people can somehow manage to justify this behavior in their mind. Especially after being straight up, called out, or confided into.
it's disturbingly sick someone who raises a child can then go to admit their feelings for the child they RAISED
I’m glad he wasn’t able to groom her. Just horrifying.
Fun fact:
When Christ was asked what women should do to avoid arousing men, he responded that the men should gouge out their eyes to avoid being aroused.
So Cooper has Jesus Christ's support in his suggestion for the father.
TW: MENTIONS OF CSA
I am a csa victim both of my abusers were my father figures. My mom used to be in the room with me when my second abuser would let me sit in his lap and touch me inappropriately and she didn't do anything about it. When I told her about my first abuser she didn't believe me. It's just something people don't want to accept about the people they love even if their kids are telling them these things. She even kicked me out of the house when I was 12 because she thought I was trying to "sleep with" my stepdad (second abuser). it's insane. I do blame my mom. The fact this woman's mother has the audacity to do this and feels like she shouldn't be blamed while also being a csa victim is insane. I hope she never has to see him again.
edit: thank you for your kind words btw!! I can't say my situation has gotten any better mentally but I'm holding on with support from my friends. I don't have contact with my second abuser or my mother so please don't worry about me! Thank you if you did, I hope you all are happy and safe. :)
Bruh, my dad thought I was trying to fuck EVERYONE! Even my brothers 🤢. Like, who thinks that way!? Turns out he wanted to fuck me and was jealous of every guy in my life. He thought that since he was secretly turned on by normal things I did that my brother's or everyone else would be too 😳. He outed himself as soon as I turned 13......
I’m very sorry that you had to go through something so disgusting… I hope you are well and surrounded by people who actually love you and are sane and not fckin creeps.
Some mothers are their children's biggest enemies. Sending you so much love and healing.
I can’t even fathom the thought process of anyone who thinks their twelve year old child is trying to sleep with their husband. I’m so disgusted I hope you have the resources and the people in your life to help heal from this. ❤️
My mom went through a similar experience 😢
my dad still won’t admit he assaulted my little sister last year and throws a crying fit bc he’s “not a monster 🥺” every time I explain to him why I can no longer have a relationship with him
and he went to sing in his church band the next day! god bless!
@@Pseudocrow im so sorry! its always some weird shit in the church (no hate to religious people, hate to the church itself yk?)
I hope you call CPS, that man shouldn't be around kids
It’s always the pedos that act worse than toddlers, so fucking disgusting.
@@Pseudocrow Eww, that's so nasty. I'm so sorry that you went through that.
So wild that as a woman I can say I feel lucky to not have experienced this kind of assault/abuse. It’s way too common, it’s terrifying.
"WAY TOO COMMON"? This is only the 2nd or 3rd time ever that I've heard of an adoptive father professing their love to their adoptive child so I wouldn't say this is common... Fortunately
@@Naturefan354that youve heard. exactly
@alexiiconner Sorry but to whom is this behavior "common"? Seriously... because once again it's not everyday that a "father" professes he's in love with his daughter? Let alone an adopted father... And I'm really grateful it isn't 🙏
@@Naturefan354 I think they're saying that sexual abuse and weird dynamics among family members and inappropriate behavior towards children by family is common. That's why the "creepy uncle" trope in pop culture and movies even exists. Most people I know, including myself, at minimum have experienced creepiness from family members.
It’s way too common for people to prey on children, including their own. Yes. It’s common, to whomever is trying to debate this.
It’s so terrifying that these people some how where eligible to foster and adopt children
yeah and homosexual couples can't just bcs of sexuality
@@norazulkifli2517fr! And stats show they are actually smoking he best for adopting because they really want those kids because bio kids is not possible to have both their dna and is really really expensive and depending on them being able to carry the IVF or having a friend willing to do so for them.
imagine how nice the world would be if all creeps disappeared
theres so many of them everywhere... so sad and scary
the entire us government would be gone
@@scarw320 probably most governments globally
And Indian men disappearing like boom
they are everywhere, there are many wolves dressed up as sheep
The same thing happened to me. You can literally Google my predator. my mom didn’t believe me and nobody else believed me and now he’s in prison for sodomizing, his stepdaughter and stepsons. If they would have listened to me, I could’ve saved those kids. 😢
I am so sorry you went through that. I hope you are doing well. ❤
It’s not your fault, its not fair to blame yourself for not saving them when that situation should’ve never been made possible in the first place. I hope your healing journey is filled with love
It's not your fault, you're not to blame. It wasn't your responsibility to save those children. You were a victim too. The people responsible for protecting them AND you were your mom and the other parent/s of his stepchildren. And by failing to protect you, these people failed to protect the other children.
I'm sorry to you and those children that the adults in your life failed you. I hope they all feel ashamed of themselves for doubting you now.
Dear I hope you know and realise you're not at fault. It's on them for not believing you. THEY could've saved those kids if they had listened to you.
I'm so sorry for everything you had to go through. You're a fighter and a survivor. Stay strong 💜
I remember mentioning Woody Allen and his daughter to someone and they were like "um, actually. She was his ex-girlfriend's adopted daughter and they met when she was 16/17!!" Okay? That does not make it better! Farrow and Allen were dating for like 10 years. Not married but that's a pretty intense relationship!! His relationship with Soon Yi started almost directly after he stopped his relationship with Farrow!! Why is that not setting off alarm bells in your head!!!!!!!
Because people love defending pedos
I grew up watching 1980's TV, seeing the child Soon Yi being carried around by her father-figure Woody Allen, I was a teenager when it was outed that they had sexual relations with each other when SHE was a teenager. When people stan for Woody Allen it makes my damn skin crawl.
Yeah, that's a cope.
The fact of the matter is that he came into her life when she was a child, and he functioned as essentially a father figure for a long time. Going from that to dating her, especially so soon after ending a relationship with her mother, says that boundaries were majorly crossed while they should have been operating as essentially father and daughter.
It's like how people say that Mary Kay Letourneau was totally cool because she and Vili Fualaau later married and were married for a long time, or that Celine Dion's relationship with her husband manager who met her when she was 12 and he was in his 30s and married with children her own age was cool because they were married until his death.
In all three cases, not only were there massive age gaps, but also huge power imbalances that the older party took advantage of. Just because the grooming took hold really well or even potentially shifted into actual love doesn't change the fact that the relationship started with grooming and inappropriate s3xual behavior towards someone who was in a massive position of vulnerability. Trying to excuse any of that is disgusting.
yeah i definitely remember seeing pictures of woody with a CHILD a LITTLE ASS BABY GIRL when it came out he was getting married so idk about that i think he just legally adopted her when she was a teen ??? idk but i don't even wanna search it up im already nauseous 🤢
It's less talked about that Morgan Freeman has done the same thing but with his step/adopted (one of the two) GRANDDAUGHTER
We went from wedding drama videos to reading a list of felonys
Please let’s go back to the wedding drama videos 😢
@@KariIzumi1right, these are triggering 😢
The fact she was raised by this monster for 15 years only to have him tell her he loved her, people like this don't deserve to be parents, it's like the saying "every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child"
I just wanted to add if your father is sexualizing you and your mom wont have your back if you feel physically safe enough to, kids find another adult to tell that will help and support you. Teachers are mandatory reporters so if you tell them they have to help you. If you are an adult like me counseling can help to sort through things alot. I applaud this woman for being brave enough to share her story.
Yes! Teachers can and will help you! Heck even family friends will help you! I’m sure once they know what is happening they will support you! Though tell only those you trust some horrible people surround themselves with other horrible people.
@@lilianaledesma7254 is not always that easy, especially when your family is well known in the community. I tried telling people. They went to my parents who denied everything rather than going to the police or cps...
@lilianaledesma7254 kids don't always have the right words and when you grow up in that environment it's seen as 'normal'. What? Your brother didn't come in and SA or abuse you as a kid?? Mind blown... that's honest to God how I felt when I was a teen. I told everyone I could after that, no one listened.
@@amandakorbe3773 So true.
I’m gonna be so honestly unless you specifically explain what is going on to teachers I never had any luck with getting them to help me at all which is so hard when your parents abuse you because you don’t trust adults already
coopers style is truly a coin flip between the popular cheerleader who doxxed people in middle school or a grandmother, and either way it is ICONIC
GRANDMA COOPER ❤️🔥❤️🔥
popular cheerleader ???
Agnes, the dance team/cheerleader fill in that also played clarinet, knew everyone’s tea, but unironically filled out the hand me down dresses from her aunts and casually wears grandma’s shoes to school that you cant buy anymore. Nice sneakers. Full figure. Goes thrifting without having to announce it.
every single man in her life completely failed her
this is why we choose the bear
The way she gaslight herself into thinking she was overreacting most of her life is so upsetting to me :( She had to deal with this man for her entire child and teenage life, and STILL told herself that it was maybe ok, and that SHE was being the weird one, these thing seriously efect ppl, this is wild.
ALSO, I'm still shocked about the brother thing?!?
She should be able to call the equivalent of child protective services for their state and report his misconduct with her during her childhood to instigate an investigation into potential abuse towards his current children. That's how it went down for me; it was solely found out because his adult daughter was in family/couples therapy with him (yes, ew) and the therapist used what they discussed there as a basis to have someone look into his conduct with me.
My step Dad was on this path. My final straw was when he tried to convince my Mom I did porn because he “saw me.” In one 🙄. It obviously wasn’t true and all my Mom could say was “why did he see you? Are you sure”. I stopped talking to her for years after that. They’ve since broken up and he needed up with one of my ex coworkers who was slightly older than me. The whole situation deeply clarified so many red flags I had growing up about my family.
what the fuck…
why the fuck would you ask your daughter if she's "sure" whether she was doing porn or not??? "Why did he see you" idk because he was projecting or smthn??? because he's a creep???? glad you have him out of your and your mother's lives, as well as having your enabler mother out of your life too.
I got thrown out of my parents house at 18 because my bio Dad tried to make a move on me and I told my mom and she got mad at me for trying to "ruin the family". Honestly after years of therapy I realized that there were a lot of shady things that happened before then too but I thought that they were normal because my mom (who was also an SA victim starting at age 2) gaslit me into thinking it was my fault or that it was normal and "just what men do". No, I don't talk to my parents anymore.
I'm sorry ❤ never talk to them again!
Glad you are away from them ❤️
My mom and brother had the same idea of me trying to 'ruin the family' by telling everyone abt my creep uncle (moms brother)
She may have been abused by her brother too when she was younger, (he is 15 years older than her, and was always a rowdy and pervy guy) but we're not too sure...
your mother was getting it absolutely twisted in saying it was your fault. The only person ruining the family was the very person she was trying to defend. You did nothing wrong. Your dad was the problem and your mom didn't help by enabling him.
Wouldn’t be surprised if other men in that family are like that.
“That predator move in flocks. That name gotta be registered and placed on neighborhood watch.”
This
Being hit on by an adult man you know since you were a child is traumatizing, seen the signs being ignored by those supossed to protect you, its just heartbreaking, a kind of heartbreak I cannot even explain.
she NEEDS to call cps for her brother and her niece and nephew, it’s so fucking disgusting
As crazy as this is, it’s textbook. Single mothers are targeted by predators because they’re usually pretty receptive. It’s hard for single mothers to find partners because generally men don’t want the “baggage” and men like this seek them out. It’s easy access to children, and if they do a good enough job, the mothers will believe them over their own children. Its crazy. And the mother having been a victim is even more classic, as victims are more commonly victimized.
It sucks, but yeah.
Not just the baggage but the predator showing attention and interest in the child specifically which they could see as normal paternal instincts
They don't just go after single mother's. Often she's a single mother because of a predatory man. Even husbands can be predatory. Yes, we know it's not all men, but most men are seriously disturbed and disturbing.
@@susanplatt5331 Child predators do specifically seek out single mothers, yes. The rest may be true but has nothing to do with the point lol
@@susanplatt5331 Wdym by disturbed?
It's healing to hear you mad about this. My dad is step-father of my sister. He abused her since he met her (she was 6) until she was 12. My mom forgave him and forced my sister to do the same. I never did, this happened 20+ years ago. Insanity, depravity, it's a crazy world. I have the biggest trauma and worst relationship w my family because they try to make me look like the crazy one, so nobody believes me. This happens and there's people willing to forgive it, insane.
Makes you wonder why it's usually so hard to be deemed fit to adopt kids when a shit ton of foster parents be like
Then the ones that do get to adopt turn out to be complete pos :-)
.......please be serious, Adoption is only out of reach if you are poor there are no roadblocks to adoption unless you're poor or queer. Pedos with money are aloud to shop for foster kids
Right? CPS and all the gkverment systems are so corrupt in the world rn, like what we have in most places in better than nothing, but in places like America currently and some other places nothing would be better cause then at least civilians could take matters into their own hands.
I'm starting to believe it was better in older days, you had community, and that community would step up and stone to death, kill and let victims kill their abusers etc.
Obviously, that's probably hopeful thinking and the best case scenario. Child marriage has been normalized so much throughout human history, but I have hope normal people have condemned it long before our modern justice system.
We really need to find a governing system that works solely in favor of the people and isn't easily corrupted by the loud, power-hungry, self-distructive maniacs that we've let in power time and time again. God help us all if he exists.
Yeah I’ve heard so many horrendous adopted parent stories both online and in real life it’s almost impossible to trust this system. People act like adopting is the most noble thing you can do, and it is really noble, but it definitely is not ALWAYS noble in fact it often can be horrific. My own grandma treated her adopted daughter like Cinderella, starving her and making her do all the chores and chopping her hair off and on and on. But the whole family looks at her like she’s a saint! It’s just wild.
I feel like the system is so broken, I've heard way more horror stories then happy yet there's so many people who would make amazing parents who are denied. Personally if I were better financially I'd love to adopt but idk if they'd allow me to since I'm single.
Omg this is horrifying. Poor girl. When you don't stand up for a child, you are just as guilty as the perpetrator. Period!
Yeah classic enabler, it’s gross
absolutely right! People who enable abusers are vile.
100% agree
just wanted to add into how horrible our system is to protect children here and how common this is- my step dad and mother were the same way. He helped raise me from age 7 to 17. Groomed and sexually abused me for all of those years. My mom “didn’t believe me” and enabled his behavior. CPS investigated twice after I told my therapist on multiple occasions of what was happening- they refused to do any testing, only interviewed him- to which he obviously said “i didn’t mean it in THAT way” and “I didn’t do anything” and that was enough for them to drop the cases. My mom moved us all to Georgia to isolate us since I kept telling everyone I knew so they could help me out of my situation. I ended up dropping out of high school in my senior year, 5 months before graduation, and moved 14 hours away to escape them. She’s still with him to this day and defends all of his actions.
Trigger Warning
My actual dad did this. Not the marry part, but the "I'm in love with you" part. Touched me, kissed me, I was 18 💀🤮🤮 I wish I had blacked out, I just froze and had an out of body experience. Suffice to say I left home. People are disgusting.
My stepmum did what their adoptive mum did too, brought him into my room, sat him on my bed (I was also on my bed) where he'd been when he did it, and made me tell him over and over what he'd done. That was just as traumatizing to be honest. This poor girl
So sorry that happened 😢
I'm so sorry ❤ I hope you're in a better place because you didn't deserve that
Good on you for getting the fuck out of there! Hope you're doing well nowadays.
You deserved to be protected I’m sorry the people you were supposed to trust failed you so horrifically
I hate to say this, but this reminds me of that one guy that adopted a pregnant 18 year old girl, and was like: “wHeRe iS mY bLoWiE??”. And he had a tie dye shirt, and his poor wife didn’t even want to adopt her. That creep basically was hoping to date her/leave his wife for her. I think it was Chad Chad that covered that video. I could be wrong.
I remember that! Awesome vid
Yeah. Danny was so terrible that the show "Adults Adopting Adults" was canceled.
And he expected her to live in a shipping container.....
@@yeet1066 Yikes. He just went from bad to worse.
Oh gods, I remember that story. I hope the “adoptive daughter” and her kid are somewhere safe now
My stepdad(raised me since i was 2) started SAing me around 14 years old. Its a slow process, and ofc i didnt want to but i was SCARED BRO. Thankfully when i spoke up arpund 18 years old my mom helped me get a restraining order against him, but i was very worried that she would just think I'm trying to "steal her man" or something.
another downside to people enabling abusers - it gives enough victims horror stories to share that make other victims scared to tell people out of fear they'll be treated the same.
Just so we're clear, I'm not blaming the victims. I'm blaming the people who blame them. The victims are only sharing their stories. The victims are never to blame.
Omg did he go to prison??
Ugh you poor thing, that is horrifying 😢
this poor woman. every man in her life has put her through something traumatic. praying that she heals from it and finds someone that treats her like the queen she is 🫶
🐻 bear bear bear
I think it’s kinda crazy to be like “get to the point” when someone’s trying to recall their trauma. It’s hard to remember shit and be cohesive with your words when your brain is actively trying to block out what happened
Agreed.
Agreed, although I usually think it's meant not to be taken seriously, and probably a symptom of his ADHD.
But yeah, could be more delicate about it, or just not say it/edit it out if that's an option.
@@sipi2009 tbh as a neurodivergent person myself, I get it: things slip out. I try not to use that as an excuse for saying something shitty, though. If I say something shitty, I say something shitty-and that’s that. We all do.
yeah i definitely thought that was odd too but his wording made it clear that he didn’t really think of it like that
This is not the first time he's done that and it always pisses me off. Even if it is something like ADHD, there's no reason why he can't edit out the bits where he's extremely insensitive before he uploads the video. I wonder if anyone has tried to point this issue out to him.
Bro I’m adopted too and that’s like the scariest thing ever. Like especially because people already don’t really feel like adoptive families are real. Like my heart goes out for her!!!
My adoptive dad also hit on me when I was her age (about 15 years ago). He raised me since I was 2 years old. For obvious reasons I barely talk to him. I now have a husband with 2 kids (10 and 8). She can live a life after this trauma... she may need help, but she can still live a beautiful life. I hope that she does. She deserves it. Forgive my broken english, I'm crying for her and english is not my first language. ❤
i think there is a sincerely strange epidemic of step fathers or adoptive fathers never developing a paternal instincts for the children theyre meant to care for and rather developing a sexual or romantic attraction. its like the wires get crossed, and its disgusting. as a victim myself, i truly wonder if there will ever be an end to adults acting this way. its disgusting. as an adult myself, now, i look back at all the warning signs and wonder why my mother never did anything to stop my step father. i wonder why so many mothers are negligent in this area. i wish more people were open to discussing this without wanting an excuse or reason; there is no. no matter whats firing wrong in your brain there is no excuse for hurting a child. there is no excuse for being attracted to one. theres no excuse for excusing this behaviour.
It’s weird and the preverlance of step-relative porn kinda makes it weirder. 😢
I suspect that this is the cause @@PlayerTenji95
I honestly think the rise of Step-relative porn has normalised this to way too many people and has damaged their mind into crossing the wires.
I think it might be the ⚫️🟠
I’ve thought about this a little bit, and I think it’s societal. I think how we sexualize and objectify female…presenting? Identifying? People is a lot of it. Another weird aspect may be how little we seem to expect of fathers (you know, how they’re lauded for basically doing normal parent things?). Unfortunately the category of prn shows that we don’t condemn or view such things the way we should. And there are other factors. Those are just a couple that I’ve been pondering
I just feel so horrible for her, having gone through that kind of trauma as a kid only to have to put up with THIS. Some people are truly just disgusting.
Ewww, incest is on TikTok all the time it’s so disgusting… edit: by ew and disgusting I mean the abuse and how often it happens, I thought it was obvious but ig not. I’ve witnessed incest first hand in my family and it’s so discomforting and all my aunts and uncles normalize it and continue the cycle of this unhealthy behavior to continue
Its not really incest... More like step-incest... Since its the adoptive father... Doesnt make it better though... Its still pedophelia...
Sadly it’s way more common than you think, people need to open their eyes cus it’s an actual problem
@@Evan-ow1hdespecially when children are involved and parents… like um…
Unfortunately incest abuse is more common than anyone would like to believe. You might want to take more care in how you talk about it. When you say "ewww" and "disgusting" in regard to incest rather than the abuse specifically, victims of incest abuse are likely to internalize that. Survivors of incest abuse feel that "ewww" and "disgusting" might be directed at them and not solely at their abusers. The taboo does a lot of harm to survivors, it fills them with shame and silences them. I wish the taboo were about the abuse rather than the scenario in which the abuse occurs.
@@JustAHorrorShow this is perfectly said, as someone who has went through something similar thank you for this comment
My mom's ex husband did bad things to me and my sister from when i was 8, all the way until i escaped it at 15. We tried telling our mom but apparently its common to have a sit down convo with the predator and the victims and ask if it's true or not. No one deserves that.
Mom knew the whole time. Just a fact.
The fact that so many people have similar stories is just proves why we choose the bear
Most men are not like this. My father and step father aren't
@@cashkitty3472my former step dad was, and many in the comments.
@@cashkitty3472Yes, they are.
@@cashkitty3472 no shit?? water is wet
@@cashkitty3472that's so egotistical, just because your parents weren't doesn't mean none are. Soo many men are creepy in many different ways so be grateful for your privileges of having a normal life and not being abused
for her ex husband to just be like “you must be confused”………. I woulda sold my engagement ring and DIPPED.
The fact that the cops won't do anything because there is no actual evidence...
Ex husband was EQUALLY as traumatizing??? I gotta hear that story too.
This is a little insensitive. She likely found that sharing this trauma was a good way to cope with what happened, but that does not make you entitled to know all of the traumatic events that have happened to her. Her trauma is not your entertainment. If she decides to share it one day, good for her, but it shouldn't be for "content" or "entertaining."
@@tangear my comment really wasn’t that serious. If she doesn’t feel comfortable telling the story then I respect that. I’m not going to go searching for it.
If she’s divorced by 21, I would assume it was one of those circumstances in which someone just marries to get away from their horrible family home and the person they chose just took advantage of her vulnerability… sadly this story is far too common
@@tangearwhy you here then? You just watch these videos shaking your head the whole time showing that you disapprove? 😂 humans are interested by interpersonal drama. Sorry this is news to you apparently
@@Da_bear-ij9gm all I'm saying is that we should respect people's boundaries. She was fine to post this situation online, therefore I have no qualms. It's her choice. But it doesn't mean any of us are entitled to anything else about her past.
I feel like I need a shower after hearing this
Bruh 😭😭😭😭
I heard this after just leaving the shower
Please…she needs to call someone for your nephews and siblings…it is so unsafe.
It’s actually more common than you’d think when a mom/grandma will take the side of their pedophilic husband…. Very weird and so so incredibly sad. Just assume that their daughter or granddaughter is lying because they don’t want to conceive that their partner is a weirdo.
Lots of ppl commenting on this, have yet to see anyone mention how common this problem is in males in the first place. Maybe we should consider that when stepsister/stepmom/stepdaughter content is the most popular on certain platforms, this is the result we’ll continue to see more and more of
@@Da_bear-ij9gmwhat if it isn’t the result though. What if that’s the problem of something way bigger that has been around for years finally revealing itself? This has to stop.
I have so much compassion for this poor woman. I had a similar experience. My mother refuses to believe my dad sexually harrased me, even when it was done in front of her, but that was expected bc she is a narcissist. My other family members don't believe me either, bc he was careful not to do it in front of them.
Wow are you ok
@@Misscircle6578 all things considered, yes. I cut off all my family except my grandparents bc they do help me out financially in emergencies. Fair play to me if they don't believe me. My mother convinced them I'm just a troubled, attention seeking, anxiety ridden, sad person. It can be lonely but I'm trying to create my own chosen family that is much better.
@@TooUwUforyou oh
@@TooUwUforyou well god bless you
@@TooUwUforyou even if they buy what she's shilling, they should still reach out and show concern and believe you. People don't start being "troubled, attention seeking, anxiety ridden, sad" because it became a trendy fashion. Even in her lie she was admitting you had something wrong going on. If they didn't try to support you or reach out to you or listen to you then that's on them. You go build that chosen family, dude. You deserve them.
I was like 13 when I went to some family event at my cousins house, this random old guy who was my “great uncle who held me as a baby” asked me to sit on his lap in front of the ENTIRE family with them all cheering me on. This was just after they were commenting about how “old” I look and how “mature and pretty” I am.
My mum very quickly got me out of there, then my dad apparently had an argument with the cousin who hosted it. I’m not allowed to see them anymore
Unfortunately... the mom, or whoever, being in denial about abusive situations or acting like whatever is "normal" isn't uncommon. It's like they're afraid to admit, to themselves, that they chose to be with such a horrible person and they've been making excuses for them for SO LONG that they just block out the bad automatically.
It's sad and pathetic. Don't be a parent if you can't commit to protecting your children and loving them unconditionally till the day they or their soul dies.
Sometimes if there worse (Somehow) they can get jealous of there child and just straight up gaslight them or encourage the behavior.
@@BenW-ty9de I've got 1st hand experience
@@sipi2009 unfortunately... there are a lot of people like this ARE parents.
It's giving "certified lover boy, certified-" from Alabama
Noooo dont bring alabama into thissss we didnt do anythinggggggg were innocent i swear most ppl in alabama are normal I swearrrr
@@TheRealAbbyLeah2yeah honestly the fact that cooper implied that this is more common in the south and that this is hillbilly evil really rubbed me the wrong way. That’s a really gross thing to imply
@@jennaschaffer6087 I mean, I had no intention of offending anyone, it's just a long running joke in the internet Ig, sorry either way
@@jennaschaffer6087sure
A minooooooooorrrr
Cooper, when you said why she gonna leave us on 30 second cliff hanger to hear if the mom believed her or not- she's reliving a traumatic experience, and it can be extremely difficult to vocalize those events. In saying this, i love how supportive you are throughout hearing her story. Just had to mention this~
Yeah no hate but he can't Say something so insensitive. She is not a story, shes a human beign wtf
“She gave you a way out” ikr???? He had so many opportunities to turn around and NOT.
its sad how common it is for parents to gaslight children who have been sexually assaulted or just aren't believed wh3n they seek help
This messes me up on every part because I went through the same ish thing that led to court. The judge threw my case out, and I was charged instead.
When you're young and have any issues, they can spin it that you're the problem instead.
3 court cases in two types of court, now I'm waiting for the DA to pick up my case for criminal. I was lucky to escape. But now I see it's not as uncommon...
Thank you for saying how evil these people are. They truly are.
I agree with all of your reactions. Because this hurts my heart. No one believes us.
Legal systems don't work even with the worst offenses.
"This can't be" it's happening all the time.
I think that the mom probably was one of the hugest things to blame becuase why tf did she not listen when her kid said she needed help and that he scared her?!?? If a random kid came up to me and told me that in the street I would sacrifice everything to help that child… and her mom didnt. tbh thats just sad
moms like these are usually victims too. but yea, so sad how mom would rather trust a dude over her daughter
Funny how perpetrators are never given the hugest blame
@@kazakukogbeing a victim isn’t an excuse for allowing abuse of your children
@@canesugar911it’s not “the hugest blame”, I’ll give you that, but it does feel like many people don’t consider the complicity… like… the hair shaving thing?! She was enabling him and putting her perverse relationship over her children.
@@OscarLangleySoryu nobody said it was an excuse. it can be a mitigating circumstance tho. victims become abusers
my ex from high school was adopted along with her 2 younger siblings. Her foster dad( before they had adopted them, they fostered them for a bit) decided when their older foster sister hit 18, that he didnt love his wife anymore, he loved the 18 yr old foster child hes been in charge of for the past few yrs. they divorced, him and the freshly adult foster child ran off, had a coulpe kids and got married...
i think i just threw up in my mouth reading that
I FUCKING hate when rape victims don't see that they are victims.
A bear would never...
He definitely was assaulting her before she turned 18
Grooming alert 🚨 Grooming alert 🚨 Wee woo wee woo!
I don't think the mother did not belive her when they were younger, she just choose to turn a blind eye and then when she came to know that her husband wanted to marry her daughter which implied that he was ready to divorce her and leave her, that made her angry.
Bro probably adopted her for the wrong reasons. That is a violation. Get him in JAIL
I was gonna say. No way this man adopted this little girl and wasn’t intending to groom her from jump. Sicko.
I have a 25 year old stepson whom I have known since he was 3 years old. I cannot *fathom* what kind of mental haywire monstrous mixed up awful brain glitch sickness has to go on in someone’s mind for this to happen. Ew!
Right? That's crazy. All my dad sees when he looks at me is the child he raised for decades. Just not being someone's bio dad shouldn't change that.
The zoom in on the dads nostrils continuously popping up is takin me out 😭
I was happy that cooper posted then got sad about the topic, then angry
I basically went through the 5 stages of grief