as a disabled person, i think it’s important to note that there is a HUGE difference between saying that disabled people shouldnt exist and saying that if possible you want to avoid putting unnecessary suffering on your future child. one is literal eugenics, and the other is a completely normal thought process and opinion
I despise that argument so much. HOW IS NOT WISHING UNENDING SUFFERING ON YOUR FLIPPING CHILD ABLEIST?!? What parents would deliberately want their kid to suffer in any manner? The people making this specific ableist crap argument in this context would never lift a finger to help either. While I agree that being ableist is a shitty thing to be, this is not ableism in any form or manner
How does that girl not realize that marriage is about two family's coming together??? If you don't won't kids fine - don't marry him. She also seems to not understand what children are like and needs more realistic expectations
also, I was kinda getting a 'it's my wedding' not 'it's our wedding' vibes from her. I don't see that marriage going well, tbh. she seems way too immature.
As someone that's worked with a number of kids in my profession I'm no longer mystified by children and sympathize with her on some level. Some kids really are little jerks And she's still on the younger end at 22 with no children of her own. I wasn't ready to be a step mother to a kid at that age either. Probably shouldn't have gotten involved with a guy with kids in the first place but maybe she's still up to marring him because the kids live with their mom for the most part? idk Maybe I'm an a hole too but I wouldn't want a kid I barely know causing drama at my wedding either. They should probably put off the wedding or compromise by making the reception adult only
The step-mother annoyed me- I went to a wedding this weekend and the bride was marrying a guy with a 9 year old daughter. Daughter was a prominent member of the bridal party, and then at the speeches the bride got up and spoke directly to the daughter, telling her how much she loved her and how she couldn't wait to watch her grow up. Bride cried, daughter cried, everyone cried. Kids deserve love from their caregivers and if you marry a man, you also marry his kids. Same rules apply if you switch the genders.
Yeah, that was my step father when he married my mom. He always referred to me as his daughter even before they got married and their relationship was getting more serious. When they got married, he made sure that both my mom and I felt special that day and I even got a father daughter dance with him. They got married when I was 9, and I honestly considered him my dad. And still do, even though he passed away. I don't have an kids and I would love to also find someone near my age that doesn't have any kids. But if I fell in love with a good man who had a child from a previous relationship. I had the best teacher in life to show me, what it means to be a good step parent. The lady in that Reddit was just so selfish.
Yeah I’m with you but the thing that no ones thinking about is what if the kid is truly bitchy and prone to make a scene, it’s unlikely but if the dad has trouble enforcing rules as she said then the kid could be a bit out of control especially feeling as though their parent is moving on to another women. 🤷
@@Harew0lf Hmm I get where you're coming from, but if that's the case, excluding her from the wedding would only foster resentment and make the daughters behaviour worse, because she would never forgive her stepmother for excluding her.
i'm confused by the first one...so he didn't get kicked out for BEING gay, he got kicked out for TELLING PEOPLE about it?? And that somehow makes it better???
@@taylorannepaisley1342 oh him being gay is definitely the ACTUAL reason he got kicked out, but OP acting like "oh its cause he told people about his gayness" makes it okay and not homophobic is what really threw me for a loop
Might have been the reaction because the dad is a pastor. Kinda like, if the community sees you can't keep your kid under control, within the flock, etc. then you as the leader and parent look bad. So kicking out can be seen as an "if you live under my roof, you follow my rules" type thing where yeah the parent then literally doesn't let the kid stay under their roof anymore if they don't "follow the rules" which in this case means at least pretending to be repentant of your gayness
It’s disturbing how the brother doesn’t get that he’s been brainwashed with homophobia. He’s his parents’ little puppet and they’re still hurting the son they abandoned through the other son. Fucked up.
The doctor thing is so stupid to me - how insecure and at the same time stuck up do you have to be to require people to refer to your as Dr. in casual conversation? I would probably be petty and just not use his first name ever again, but start calling him pet-names (buddy, pal, dude) to drive him nuts or call him like Doctor J or Doc.
Man does that, just overload him with his demanded title. “Doctor, how are you doing? “Doctor, isn’t the weather nice?” “Doctor, can I spill some family shit I’ve got going on?” “Doctor, don’t leave! You must help me! It is your dUtY!” This muppet in particular is giving “call me your majesty” energy
As a doctor myself, I am weirded out if someone addresses me as doc outside professional setup. Sometimes my Uncles call me "Madam Doctor" for fun and it just throws me off balance 😂 I appreciate it though. They are lovely.
In connection to the ableist story, I once interviewed a mom that had a genetic condition but decided to have 5 kids, 4 boys and 1 girl. All of them ended up having the condition, with the girl being a carrier. All 4 sons did not live past the age of a teenager, dying due to complications. So yes, I think it is understandable to not want children in fear of passing a genetic condition.
@@MSoundous I imagine it was for welfare honestly, they lived in those housing areas where you can't live there unless you make a certain amount of money w/ kids.
@@MSoundous As a parent, she should want to give her children a good life, if not better. Having them, knowing perfectly well that they will suffer almost inevitably and possibly die very young, because of the social norm or "for company" is just selfishness in my eyes.
My dad's family has quite the list of health problems that have been passed down and although it's not as bad as the one in the video, it's still something you don't want your kids to have. For example they have thyroid problems -which my cousin now has, asthma - my siblings have this, and diabetes
Adoption is incredibly expensive and surprisingly stigmatized. It's hard to know what her situation was, but a possibility is that she really wanted to be a mom with a big family, even at the expense of the children she wanted so bad.
@@MSoundous some people want to be parents and don’t want to adopt, either for personal reasons or societal reasons. I can’t really fault or shame anyone for that regardless of their genetics, especially since it really feels like it’s supporting eugenics to shame and dissuade someone from having kids due to genetic reasons. I feel like people should be allowed to decide if the the do or don’t want to have kids, regardless of their genetics.
What do you bet that the girlfriend made up the excuse that her apartment would “be too obvious” because she knows her friend’s a crap roommate, and wanted to pawn her off on someone else? And now that the boyfriends kicked her friend out, the girlfriend is actually pissed because her place is the last resort.
That whole scenario was beyond weird to me. Girlfriend could’ve been looking for a women’s shelter or trying to find actual resources for her supposed friend, but just pawns her off on her boyfriend. Shady all around.
That and what woman is gonna have their underwear and t shirt prancing ass friend stay with their man alone... weird. That was like hmm. My husband's guy friends pop over and I instantly throw on a bra. Lmao. This bitch be in her underpants and doesn't realize that's a no no?? 🤣 People. Smh. Not to say I wouldn't help a friend of my man's. They know my couch is here. But I'm pretty sure they would NEVER run around my house in their damn tights whiteys either. 🤔🤭
@@broomhilder i find it weird that she would be okay with her friend walking around in her underwear in front of her bf i know the bf didn;t react, but would any gf want their bf living with someone who just walks around in their underwear? i can see why the bf found it awkward.
"he needs to be the bigger person" weren't his parents bigger than him when they kick him out?? not to mention fully consient adults and knowing perfectly what they were doing
genuinely cannot imagine doing that to a child. also, "shittalking" their parents? was it shit talking or was it saying "my parents kicked me out of the house" when asked why he couldnt get to fucking school or something
@@twinbruisesonmyshins it's unnerving how the op of the post can't comprehend the amount of distress and trauma he inflicted to his brother for bringing up the past. It is either he does not care for his brother or he is just as homophobic as his parents.
as someone who didn’t grow up religious, it’s crazy to me how religion can tear apart families. i would hate to have a belief system be the reason i lost connection with my brother
@@euuuughhhh7799 abusive people are abusive no matter what they believe, the problem is then when they are religious, they use that to justify themselves (which can be even more traumatic to the child). It's absolutely disgusting - I grew up in a religious home, and my parents NEVER behaved like that, they wanted everyone to feel safe in our house.
I didn't really get that part about him being thrown out. So his parents knew he was gay and didn't mind as long as he kept it a secret until graduation. But he told others and they kicked him out because others knew they had a gay son? Like, his parents didn't mind him being gay, but others judging them for not punishing their gay son for being gay?
Hey Dylan, I’m disabled and wanted to talk about the AITA story about vED. The friend is WAY out of line, there is a huge difference between visual impairment or blindness then a fatal disability. Blind & Deaf individuals don’t considered themselves to be “broken”, those communities love and appreciate their disability and their community. They live their lives differently than a “normal” person, and that’s not to say that it isn’t difficult- because it 1000% is. But to tell someone that it’s abelist to not want to watch their child live with a progressive, painful, and fatal disease? That’s disgusting and extremely rude. I live with chronic illness everyday from multiple disabilities, and it will never get better for me just worse. I would never want to bring a child into this world with the possibility that they might share a fraction of the pain I live with. It’s so frustrating knowing that people like that friend exist.
I dont mean to be disrespectful but have a serious question. You say Blind and Deaf individuals love and appreciate their disabilities but as an outside this just makes no sense to me. Accepting them a understand but appreciating them seems too far. Like we arent far from technology that would restore sight and hear to many of these people. Would the community not want these abilities restored? If so thats great! Im not one of them so I cant say how your life may be improved in other ways as a result of blindness or losing hearing. I can only think of it from my perspective of how I think I would feel if tomorrow I couldn't hear anymore or see. With that said, to love and appreciate being blind means that you would prefer it, as opposed to saying accepting and adapting which would mean you are fine being blind and dont need people feeling sorry for you...but if you could pick you would pick sight. Again I hope this doesnt offend, I just dont understand appreciating losing something that I value so much and would like to understand.
@@mike-mz6yz I am not blind or deaf, but the technology has existed for a long time and many within the community find it offensive. Some do not feel there is anything wrong with them and prefer the way they were born/are. Just bc you can’t understand how it would be possible to prefer to be deaf/blind doesn’t mean there aren’t whole communities who not only accept it but prefer it. If you have any other questions, I recommend you seek answers from someone who has actually lived that experience.
@@mike-mz6yz hey I'm not fully deaf, but I was born deaf in my right ear. It honestly depends on the experiences of the deaf person, e.g someone who gained deafness often tends to miss their hearing more than someone who never had it. Myself, I can't miss something I've never had, this is my normal. I think having the technology there is good for those who will use it but not all want it, as those who don't dislike the idea of it being considered like a disease that needs to be "cured". Considering my type of deafness, typical hearing aids do not work, only a bone-conducting type would and that requires surgery. I don't want to have it as the expense and set back outweighs the benefits and I'm perfectly happy with my life. Honestly, I don't think I'd ever really want to be fully hearing. Sure, it can limit me, but it makes for some funny stories sometimes and I can just put my hearing ear down when there are noisy neighbours. But these are just my experiences.
@@jellybeans3994 that is so true, Im autistic and have ADHD but my hearing is perfect, even too sensitive. And honestly if I would be deaf, live would be so much more peaceful for me that way. And I imagine that as you said, when you are born with it, you cant really miss it.
The one abt the boyfriend being weirded out by his girlfriend saying “I love you” to her brother hit me hard. I always, ALWAYS tell my brother “I love you” after we hang out, because there was a time when he was extremely suicidal. This made me realize that him not always being here was a possibility, if the depression had it’s way. So now it’s just a habit to say “I love you” to him daily, and honestly it weirds me out that some people have a problem with that. EDIT: First off, I want to say how much I empathize with the people in the replies who are going through the same thing. I'm tearing up going through all these responses, you are all so kind and sweet. I did not expect my comment to get any likes or replies so this much engagement is overwhelming lol. Anyway, I want to clear up some confusion-- I understand that the boyfriend is most likely insecure with his relationship-- I was looking at this from MY personal perspective: "if my future partner has a problem with me saying 'I love you' to my brother". Basically, why I am personally weirded out by my future partner not being okay with me telling my brother I love him-- not you being uncomfortable with saying "I love you" to ppl(like I ONLY rlly say "I love you" to my bro, because of the above so I get it), but my hypothetical future partner lol. Sorry if my bad wording caused confusion!
Saying "I love you" to anyone isn't weird. Like I say I love you to my friends, family, etc., and if my boyfriend were to have a problem with that then idk what I'd do
me and all my siblings are constantly telling each other we love each other and its so strange to think someone could get upset at that. like, why is it weird to remind someone you care for that you do, in fact, care for them? everyone needs to hear it sometimes, man.
I don’t say I love you, instead I just treat the person kindly. Those words do weird me out too but it’s fine as long as they don’t force me to say it. Him being weirded out seems normal in a way, hopefully one day he learns to treasure it like you do.
I’m honestly so glad that kid told their dad’s wife about how he treated them. Cause like how could you be with someone who literally says that their child “killed” their mother and blames them for something they literally had no control over?? If I was with someone and found out they did that, I would leave them INSTANTLY LOL
That story was F'd up! Giving up your kid because the woman you love died while giving birth to him, makes no sense! The kid is his only or closest living connection to his past love and giving up on him could ruin his life and make her sacrifice worth nothing!
The step mom wedding one seems like immaturity and jealousy, she wants to be the only woman in his life and cannot accept that his children and ex-wife are a package deal, she knew this before agreeing to marriage lol…wicked step mom vibes
Plus she was 24 right? I’m 25 and that still seems really young to be marrying into a family with children, unless you’re the type who raised other family members growing up
@@broomhilder exactly but, it's her fault. She already knew he had kids. It wasn't something hidden. She's the problem and she clearly isn't accepting the fact that he has already experienced everything she would've liked to experience with her partner for the first time. She most definitely shouldn't be marrying this guy or getting married in general since she seems to still be a bit immature
@@broomhilder True, or generally likes kids and wants to be a parent. The age isn’t really the issue. She’s too immature and/or insecure for that relationship scenario.
She probably shouldn't have dated a man with kids in the first place. I'm sure it'd be hard to just end things at this point though. They might be okay if the kids still live with their Mom and they take some time to build a relationship
Right???! I don’t think her age has much do to with it so much as she clearly doesn’t want to be a parent (at least yet) and it’s like girl…. Haha that’s part of the deal!
there’s a difference between not wanting to give ALREADY LIVING people with disabilities opportunities and assistance because of those existing abilities, and not wanting to have a kid KNOWING that they will go through their entire life in pain.
if i was thinking of having kids and my doctor told me, “your child will be in pain their entire life, and possibly for young,” i would rather not have a kid at all.
This! There’s a huge difference between having no kids vs discriminating against a living child. You are hurting no one by not having a kid. You are hurting someone by hating them/mistreating them when they already exist. I have disabilities and I chose to have a kid, knowing they might have the same thing. And it’s a risk every parent takes when having kids, anyone can be disabled at some point. It’s ableist if you have a kid and then hate them/hurt them because they have a disability. It’s not ableist to choose to not pass things on.
Ironically, I would bet the girl is pro choice, so if the one girl actually got pregnant with the kid that may be disabled, she'd probably be down to with the abortion. Maybe not, but I'm assuming
As someone going into genetic counseling not having kids due to such a serious condition is actually a very responsible choice. The trauma that surrounds someone being born with a death sentence is horribly complicated both medically and emotionally. Also comparing disabilities that aren’t fatal to those that are is like comparing how to treat a cold to how to treat cancer.
@@tupaclives5848 It can get complicated so here is the Wiki answer. “Genetic counseling is the process of investigating individuals and families affected by or at risk of genetic disorders to help them understand and adapt to the medical, psychological and familial implications of genetic contributions to disease; this field is considered necessary for the implementation of genomic medicine.”
about the woman concerned about passing the vEDS gene to her potential kids: this doesn't even have to be a disability discussion, this can be ended at her having the choice to do or not do with her own body as she chooses. if she doesn't want kids for whatever reason, that's valid, end of discussion. also i think there's a big difference between something like visual impairment (like the friend's family member had) and a syndrome that WILL kill you very painfully. there are enough kids without families out there. she can just adopt one.
THIS. I think the ableist thing isn’t necessarily from a place of a phobia for disabled people. Some conditions will cause a lot of pain and suffering. Some will be more comparable to an inconvenience. I think there’s also the point of people recognizing they’re not equipped to raise a child that has certain conditions. You hear people say all the time, “your kid may be x, y, or z, and if you’re not prepared to be a parent to that kid, don’t have kids!” You don’t get to turn around and tell people they’re shitty for not having kids for that reason. They’re recognizing their own abilities and potential shortcomings and making the decision to not put the hypothetical child in more misery because their parent can’t give them the support they need. A child that never existed will not be sad that it wasn’t brought into existence. I’m definitely sliding a little off the road of the main point here, but people like to talk about “taking responsibility”, as if that means setting everything aside to raise a child. But sometimes, the responsible decision IS deciding not to have that child.
@@uniraffesaur THIS. I'm autistic and mentally ill. Autism is known to (often) have a genetic component. The world is becoming more accepting and aware, but autism is still very much a disability and it makes my life so so so much harder than it would be if I were neurotypical. I would not want to "intentionally" bring a child into this world that would have a likelihood of being disabled and having a really hard time. I'm able to live independently and work and all that but it can be incredibly difficult for me to handle regular, everyday things. This isn't the only reason I've decided not to have kids, but it is absolutely a factor for me, that being a parent would be incredibly difficult and taxing.
Real talk, nobody wants to be disabled. It does sound harsh to say it like that but it's the truth. So it's completely understandable if OP doesn't want to have kids that she knows have a high possibility of having a disorder. It saves both the parents and the kids from having a hard time because it's a fact that it's hard to live with impairments.
Re: Kicking the girl out, I stayed at my friends' house for 4 days and I vacuumed every room, did the dishes, and folded laundry because I felt I had to pay them back for the food/bed/bath. Can't imagine staying with someone for *2 months* without helping out 😭
The fact that this doctor feels entitled enough to FORCE people to remind him of his profession and his alleged succsess each time they wanna address him screams narcissism. You command respect not demand it
@@LO-dm6uf command: "verb 1. give an authoritative order." demand: "verb ask authoritatively or brusquely." Not to be the second person but i think something got a bit crossed here.
@@durazno6897 It's kind of an expression, "to command respect". It more or less means that a person is so intrinsically respectable (i.e. good or honorable) that just their sheer personality "commands" respect, without having to explicitly ask for it. "Demanding" respect however, in this case, is literally _asking_ for it verbally. Such behavior can have the opposite effect of "commanding" it, because "demanding" it from someone else kind of projects that the person verbally requesting it is self-centered and kind of an asshole; whereas someone who "commands" it would receive respect because they are inherently worthy and deserving of it - no need to beg for it.
As someone with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and with most of my own family affected by EDS (not the vascular kind, thank god, cause vEDS is INCREDIBLY painful and most people with vEDS don't make it to their 20s, but still, having hypermobile EDS, I understand the disorder pretty well), that wasn't ableist, at least in my opinion. Considering the near-certain young death and the pain of it all, passing down vEDS would be devastating, not only because you know you're going to outlive your child, but they're going to be living their life in a lot of pain. If someone doesn't want to risk putting someone else through that, it's not ableist, it's considerate. And the poster could always just adopt instead, if they really do want kids. EDS of any kind is already a nightmare. vEDS is hell. the poster isn't saying that "life with any disability is a hell not worth living," they're just saying that "life with vEDS can get so bad that I don't want to put someone else through that much pain and then watch them die." simply put, that's not ableist.
Well she did say she didn't want bio-kids so it seems like if she were to have kids then that would be her way, or marring someone with kids and taking them as their own.
This is so well said. I've noticed its becoming increasingly popular for people to have extreme emotional reactions to each and every situation and now no one listens to each other anymore. Someone says "I wouldn't want my child to experience this disability" and all everyone around them hears is "I don't think people with this disability should exist" and then they react to the second statement, which is not the same thing. Somehow we're getting worse at having conversations and understanding each other.
Hi fellow EDSer! I’m also in the hEDS category. I had to get my heart checked out before, during and after pregnancy with both my boys as they were so worried about the strain it can put on you. So I can only imagine the fear you would have if you did have vEDS. I would never wish to pass it down to my kids. She most definitely is NTA! Edit: also even if she decided to adopt there is the fear of leaving her children without a mum if she passes away very young.
@@Mezza hey!!! it's so nice to meet a fellow EDSer (especially considering the disorder isn't THAT well known, so not many people know/are aware about it)! My mother was the first in the family to get diagnosed around the time I turned 8, so she never had to do any tests while pregnant with my sister or with me, but I honestly don't know how she did it. She had to get a c-section for my sister and our house flooded with sewage or something like- 3 days after I was born and I was an incredibly sick baby apparently, we had to get a doctor to come regularly and hit my back because I could breathe properly and she had to do it all as a single mother with no help and with EDS. I already have trouble imagining parenting a child as someone with EDS, but with all the added stuff with my mum, I have no idea how she managed. I hope you and your kids are doing well and that your EDS isn't causing you too much trouble :D
@@manuela. It's so true. As much as I agree with so many principles of "woke culture" (for lack of better words), especially as an AFAB neurodivergent biromantic non-binary person with EDS (yeah i'm the prime target for discrimination, I'm just happy that I don't have to deal with racism too because I'm white), destroying discrimination and making everyone equal is incredibly important, but some people just believe in that so much that they forget what the goal is, and then acknowledging everyone's differences and acknowledging the difficulties of every group because unfathomable to them and becomes on par with actual discrimination and inequality. and then, you get actual discriminatory people who paint us as these "extra-wokes" (idk what to call them lmao) to justify their points of view, the extra-wokes see us as actual discriminatory people and we get no closer to actually eliminating discrimination and inequality
The wedding one reminds me of my childhood. My step-mother was mad that my father had a marriage and children before her and made sure we always knew it. We never even knew they were getting married, until after it happened, and she was showing off the wedding photos in front of us. I'm old as Hell now, and it still hurts that my father was fine going along with it. That kind of thing is incredibly hurtful. If you aren't willing to accept someone's children, you shouldn't marry them. You should never make him (or her) choose.
I am so sorry...just reading this made my heart ache. Eventhough i have never been in such a situation, i can definitely understand how painful it be. You will feel like an unimportant person in your father's life.🙁 I dont know how people can be this self centered.
My most recent ex step mom didn't let my dad invite me (about 15 at the time) to their wedding, but had all 3 of her kids (1 18y/o adult, 2 teens 14 and 12) and her eldest's baby in attendance. (I'm 31 now)
@@beautyindarkness8146 that is plain horrible. So u never made the wedding? Her kids were the same age as you and all that is pure discrimination, she very much hates you is what I'm getting
About the one being blamed for his mother's death, I wanna say 1. Your new stepmom is part of your family too whether your father likes it or not. You are absolutely in your right to strike a friendship with her and even open up to her because... 2. It's your story too. Asking you to hide it is asking you to deny your past, basically your entire life, which is absolutely unfair. 3. Just like he said he doesn't owe you anything after you turned 18, you certainly don't owe him the courtesy to maintain his good image. P.S. I know the person asking is not gonna read this, I just needed to get it off my chest :)
plus i can't imagine she'd want to marry him knowing how he treated his son, especially since that child already had to grow up without a mother. mistreating children is a serious red flag, and it'd be wrong to lie by omission about what kind of man she's marrying. it'd be one thing if he told her himself and tried to move on from his mistakes, but straight-up asking his neglected son to lie for him seems like he's just trying to get a fresh start and never have to face repercussions for his actions
@@bumblerbree Exactly. And now she knows that if they were to have a child together and she died in childbirth, he'd treat their child like shit. She needed to know what kind of "parent" this man is so she knew not to have kids with him under any circumstances.
I remember the update on this one, not only she kicked his jerk father out and is going to the annulment route, but called him in tears apologizing cause she had no idea… the guy said they talked a few times and she’s a really nice person.
It was so monumentally depressing that anyone, and I mean anyone, would find it bizarre for two family members, especially siblings, to tell each other, "I love you." I don't understand why telling someone how important they are, and showing them how much you care for them, is weird. Clearly the people that find this odd haven't lost someone close to them and understand how a person you care for can be gone in a second, meaning that it's important to remind them of just how much they are loved every chance you get. Coming from a guy in that situation, his reluctance to say "I love you" comes off as the classic fake macho bullshit, where emotion is weakness. In actuality, I don't know anyone weaker than a man who is so afraid to face his own feelings (especially wonderful, loving human feelings) and views having natural human reactions as wrong. Get the fuck out of here with that regressive shit.
Me (16) my sister (20) and my brother (26) say "I love you" to each other Everytime we leave each other's house or a family event or whatever it may be. I agree with you. That story makes no sense,I mean are you not supposed to love your siblings? 😂
Even if you find it weird and awkward, that's okay, you don't have to do it. But why tell other people they're wrong because they express their familial love differently than you do?
@@16poetisa In this case, it would be a lack of expressing familial love, which was the issue. I've personally had a lot of similar experiences and have a lot of family who are the same, and it just frustrates me. My dad grew up not being told he was loved by his own parents because it wasn't deemed socially expected to so, which is something that he still feels the sting of in his older age. It was his mother-in-law that became the loving woman in his life when he married my mom, and it was this woman that told him she loved him when he couldn't rely on that same thing from his own mother. And I run into this issue with guys all the time, where love can't be openly expressed as if by some biological rule, due to it not being manly to express feelings. Never had time for it. I've got guy friends who are like brothers to me, and I tell them I love them all the time because it's important for me to let them know just how much their presence means to me and my life, because I know they get discouraged by a lot of things in their own existence and it means a lot to hear someone say that to you. I look in the mirror every once in a while and I've not turned into a disfigured beast or transformed into a woman for saying "I love you" to other men, so it must be alright. XoXo
Ok, so according to the dad’s logic, from the second to last story, he himself is also responsible for her death by impregnating her. It’s such a ridiculous thought process, that maybe putting it this way would make him realize how absolutely nuts he sounds (although maybe that’s why he’s been so hard on the son; he can’t come to terms with his own guilt over ‘killing’ his wife, so he takes it out on the innocent newborn child instead)
exactly, you're allowed to grieve and feel sad about the death of your loved one but that doesn't excuse you or give you the right to act like a douche to your son (or anyone). Grief is not an excuse for someone's actions towards someone else when they are this shitty
Also like yeah okay you’re traumatized and you feel that way at first, no it’s not logical or good, but IQ drops when we’re in pain or scared. However, a true parent and adult would’ve realized like oh I need therapy, so I can be the best for myself my family and my kid, not remove my kid completely and expect them to respect me simply bc they’re my kid. Ugh people just suck.
I think wanting to be referred to as a "dr" by others close to you is kind of elitist. You want others to acknowledge how educated and intelligent you are which is fine as long as you don't force others to do it. It reminds me of Ross from friends, how he constantly put stress on "Dr" before his name. The point is in society, around your friends and family, the primary thing that matters is how you are as a person and not what you do for a living.
Exactly!! it just kinda makes someone look mega insecure as well. Like why do you need the people around you to reassure you that you’re intelligent? Are you trying to make people feel inferior to you to lift yourself up? What is it man?
I'm disabled and while eugenics and ableism exist, personally choosing to not have children to prevent suffering is neither of those things. People who want children need to always be prepared to have a disabled child, as anyone can become disabled at any time. But also chill out, OP just wanted to make an informed responsible decision.
In my experience, the doctors who require you to call them “Dr. Name” outside of a professional setting even when you’re somewhat familiar out of “respect” are also the same doctors who will discredit and sometimes even yell at competent nurse who are just trying to do their jobs.
really feels like it's only about the power trip with those type of people; they care more about the prestige and reputation that comes with holding the title of "Doctor" than they do about their actual job and the people they're supposed to work with and help.
Yeah, I had a professor who had a doctorates (not medical, but in research), and he asks not to be called doctor due to the people he’s met who let it go to their head. He doesn’t want to become one of them. Definitely a red flag when someone demands to be called by that tittle.
Yeah agreed, in my country lawyers also have dr with their name and in my experience only the lawyers who barely graduated get offended by leaving it out ever. I get where the dude is coming from But this would be a deal breaker for me, if he’s that sensitive about a professional title in his private life he has waaaay biggger issues he’s not willing to confront, the girl just haven’t seen them yet.
I was actually a lot like Esme (the nine year old girl) at that age. I was frequently self centered and I adored attention(more so I hated being ignored and I had separation anxiety). I would get jealous of other children when they got more attention than me. Most kids are like that. But at my dad’s wedding with my stepmother, I was overjoyed! I was on my best behavior because I love my dad and I really liked my soon to be step mom. My point is that if you want your stepchildren to behave, you got to build a positive relationship with them. Then maybe they’ll understand it’s not about them in that moment, but they still matter.
Also, its expected that kids are self centered, that whole “my actions effect others besides myself and I should care” thing doesn’t kick in until late teenhood (is that a word)
@@ayannabranchcomb7535 heh Technically it’s not, the word you were looking for was “adolescence”. Agreed that it’s expected and understood that children are self-centred. Though, that self awareness and understanding of repercussions comes about from being taught. Children can learn to be more aware earlier than late adolescence.
@@checksanity true. But even when taught from a young age, the developmental understanding still comes from a self centered place which is completely normal. I teach 2 year olds and we tell them to be gentle with their hands because they can hurt their friends bodies, but they don’t fully understand what that means, they do understand the consequence that comes with hitting though, which is removal from that person/area/toy and they don’t like that 😂😂😂 either way, this lady is bonkers to think that a child should understand her emotions regarding her fiancé and his past life
im glad the "new" wife in the "dads horrible secret" learned that he's an asshole. You want a relationship? go to therapy and heal from losing your last partner and abusing your son.And be honest w the person you want to marry
Yeah, imagine that conversation. "Hey, I still hate you son and you're a murdering piece of shit that killed your mother, but can you PWEASE SAY NICE TINGS ABOUT MEEEEEE???"
dylan, buddy, i need you to stop with these sponsorship segways. it's literally so humiliating to fall for them every single time. i don't know how much more of this embarrassment i can take.
I can't believe the person from the last story is still in a relationship with the doctor guy and didn't IMMEDIATELY get the ick and bail as soon as it became an issue. As a nurse I obvs work closely with doctors and a lot of the time they don't even want their patients to call them "Dr. [whatever]" let alone people in their personal lives!! Honestly gigantic red flag. Get out of there bestie.
May God bless you and your family and help you Give your life to Jesus Christ and repent. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray Amen.Jesus Christ loves you. Give your life to Jesus Christ and repent. He’s coming soon. Please pray and repent.
I remember reading that one about the dad giving the child up. There was an update and she divorced his ass. The kid felt bad for wrecking their marriage but the new wife was like nah you've saved me a lot of wasted time knowing what he was like. Good for her. Also i never thought at the time the guy is so devastated his wife died enough to disown and abuse his child but not enough to get married again? Dude needs some serious therapy but blame displacement. I remember people in the comments being like, by his logic how is it not his fault since he got her pregnant? I mean damn i know grief does mad shit to a person but yeesh.
Oop-...... PFFTTT 😂😂😂😂😂 I love the update. No Offense but I have no respect for anyone who blames their child for something like that. Low key, high key he deserves what he got, and good for her for noticing the red flags and leaving.
I can’t even arm chair psychology this guy. Like the only reason I can think of is that he didn’t want to pay the expenses for a child. But even that doesn’t even make full sense. The dude is just crazy.
Answering your question about the girlfriend one where they were hiding her, Assuming she was actually telling the truth about the crazy ex, I can confirm that was probably the best option that girl had (though she REALLY should have contributed to the household and been a better roommate if she wanted to keep that option available to herself.) Reason being that law enforcement is NOTORIOUS for not doing anything about stalkers and crazy exes and, through their inaction, letting the women get murdered. But again....that also depends on the woman telling the truth about how crazy this dude is
exactly! heard a story recently where a girl's ex would find her every time she left and even tried run her over when he found her. her mom got frequent visits from said ex. this ex literally only left the mom alone once he'd been through the entire house. She ended up staying in a different town with a new friend for 6 months. She was so lost that she barely did anything and this friend and her husband ended up becoming parents to her. She was very fortunate in the end. But it took her a LONG time and many attempts to get away. And to this day she's weary revealing her or her family's identity out of fear he'll come after her. Because he has threatened to kill them. And because the law requires people to be informed of charges that are made against them, it's super unsafe to do anything other than 'inform' the police that something is happening. But until you press charges, the police can do jack shit.
Yeah definitely agree, it was the best option, but he was also NTA imo. I wouldn’t be able to deal with someone disrespecting my place like it seemed she was doing. I wouldn’t mind having someone stay that long as long as they were a half decent roommate.
From what I read on her Reddit profile, she was the crazy one or they were both equally crazy, since the girl was super disrespectful to her friends and, if I remember correctly, owed one of her friends like 500$ or something for the things she trashed at her house but she didn't want to pay it because "She didn't need them" (Referring to the things she threw in the trash.)
The girl who doesn't want the kids at the wedding is 100% TA. I can't imagine what she's like with the kids outside of the wedding situation. Calling his kids basically "attention hogs" sounds like she's jealous and immature. She should be embracing his kids and excited to have the special day with all of them together. I don't see that marriage ending well.
This is why people should think carefully before even dating someone with kids. I don't date guys like that purposely because I know I'm not ready to be a step mom. Like adopting its not for everyone in every stage of their life
also her age really gives it for me she is 24 and he is 32 24 is still before your brain fully emotionally develops and i think she should be with someone closer to her age
The story about the dad refusing to accept his own son is really messed up. Imagine losing your wife in a really tragic way and them refusing acknowledge basically the only real connection you still have with her. I'm glad his son told the new wife about what his father did to me because a man like that has some issues. What if his new wife ended up dying in childbirth as well? Does that mean he'll have two children that he'll scar and refuse to acknowledge because of something they didn't directly cause? As much as I want to acknowledge his grief, someone like that shouldn't just get to move on without even trying to make amends with his son. Again, great video, Dylan. I did lose it at the sponsorship bit 😅 It was so unexpected and aggravating when I finally caught on but other than that, I loved it.
This first story is literally horrible… I was kicked out of my house weeks before I turned eighteen to go live with my same sex partner and her family bc my religious family “couldn’t bear to let me live in their house with my sin” after I came out. Yes. There is far too much hypocrisy in Christianity. I’m on better terms with my dad, but I’ve hardly talked to my grandparents or my mom since I left. They are constantly making fun of my chosen family and calling my girlfriend a pig. It’s ridiculous. I related to this one a little too much. That leads me to say, your videos have been so comforting for me in these trying times. Thank you Dylan! Also, buttoning the top button is definitely making this fit 10x worse
And this is why domestic abuse abuse among same sex couples is high - because many gay people have no familial support and are vulnerable and will stay in abusive relationships either out of financial necessity or perceived emotional necessity.
People get so weirded out by siblings who are close. I'm super close with my brothers, but people act like it's strange that we say we love each other, hug eachother, and we spend as much time with eachother as we do our significant others. My brothers first gf thought it suspicious and got jealous. It was bizarre.
Agreed. Although Idk if sisters are different than brothers or sister and brother. My sister and I are super close and when she leaves home after a visit, I always walk her out to her car and hug her bye.
@@faiththomas6137 This is usually only an issue with different gender siblings. Close Sister-Sister and Brother-Brother are more normalized than different gender ones.
Yeah I get siblings being close but I remember seeing a story on that sub where a brother and sister decided to spoon with each other in the same bed to sleep when the brother could’ve stayed in the guest room. The sister couldn’t understand why her boyfriend was upset when he came home in the morning to find them cuddling. I get being close but some people just take it a lil too far 😂😅
No way! My mom's a doctor, she has so many friends who are doctors. NO ONE ever calls them "Dr" unless in a professional setting. He really does sound like a narcissist.
The soon-to-be-step-mom one hit hard. My stepfather had that mindset of him and my mother being separate entities to us 3 as a family unit. They married when I was 6 and since then the man attempted to make my life a misery as he felt my mother loved me more than him, and dislike the reminder that my mother had been previously married. Eventually they had my half-brother. But then it was worse because the exclusion and lack of love from my step-father became even more obvious to child-me. If you are marrying someone with kids, you need to be prepared mentally and emotionally for the fact that the kids are a part of that new family unit. Being jealous & competing with someone's CHILDREN is ridiculous and immature - if you cannot handle that fact then you are not ready to marry someone who already has children.
For the not wanting to create a child knowing that they will have issues story: I am disabled and some of what is wrong has a strong genetic link. As in research has shown that the conditions do pass on to off spring although they haven't determined the exact likely hood. They do know that it is likely to be given to the kid (so more than a 49% chance). Putting aside the toll of child birth and my own feelings on babies, I would never have my own child due to it being unethical. My conditions aren't even on the level of the one OP might carry either and I still find it unethical to pass on those issues. There is nothing ablest about wanting to avoid creating a human you know will suffer. If anything it is more ablest to force a child who you know will be disabled to be born. Being disabled sucks and to force that on someone isn't cool. It is also different from a parent who won't accept that their child is disabled and forces them to live like an abled kid. That being said, choosing not to for ethical reasons is different from forcing others to be sterile and unable to choose for themselves what they want to do. That is eugenics and isn't cool
I think it's weird he wants people in his personal life to call him Dr.Whoever, but I would think they would've respected his decision more if he didnt start it after already knowing them for MONTHS. How awkward to out of no where come into your girlfriends parents house like "Actually, its DOCTOR boyfriend to you." Sounds like an asshole to me
The job of older people is to be mature and the bigger person then the younger people, so if the parents do things knowing it would start a fight they would still be in the wrong even if the boyfriend is an ass. Adults don't really get the childish excuse with "But he started it".
@@CruiserDynasty as ideal as it would be, age doesn't always equate to maturity. And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that *doctor* boyfriend is an adult too, if anything he needs to chill.
I have family relatives (aunts) who are doctors, but I don't call them "Dr. so-and-so". I call them "Aunt (name)". OP's family just wants the guy to feel like he's part of the family, that's why they call him by his first name. There's nothing disrespectful about family calling younger relatives by their first name.
20:25 Giving up the child is one thing, it could be you understanding that you aren’t in a good place and having someone available who can give your child the love they need to have a healthy life. I’d raised my nieces nephews without hesitation if something prevented their parents from being able to do, the assholishness is what came after and that continued for years. You can’t help if you feel grief or even bitterness towards the child over losing a partner to child birth, but blaming that child to their face and then continuously for years makes you a monster.
As someone who's had two genetic conditions passed on from relatives, the person deciding not to have kids is NOT an asshole. My conditions (joint and blood) make it incredibly hard to do "normal people" things, that open up a variety of difficulties that will not only decrease my quality of life, but also possibly life expectancy. Considering not to have kids is a super responsible choice, not only in regards to their health and possible conditions, but also the capabilities of the parents. If OP has a medical condition like EDS, then they might not be able to provide the complete and proper care a child needs, no matter how much they love their kid and try their hardest.
Im still debating if I want bio kids when I grow up. On one hand I want the experience of carrying a child, on the other I don't want my child to inherit my disease.
I also think it's different because it's not like she was already pregnant. I'm extremely pro choice but i'd side-eye her a little bit more if she was already into her pregnancy, found out her fetus has a disability/genetic condition, and then went "actually i don't want it anymore". But the fact that she was being proactive and responsible in doing all her research first before making her decision, i think makes it unfair how hard her friend came down on her. I just think its a weird reaction to be like "how dare you not want to have kids for X reason" in literally any situation, like you're a sh00ter for a person that doesn't even exist yet?? it's ultimately the baby-carrier's decision to make. She's not actively discriminating against a living disabled person, and i understand how it might feel like an attack to her friend but ultimately it's just not the same as Eugenicists trying to weed out the "bad genes". If this person lives in the USA, think of the medical bills if their child ends up being born with that condition, not everyone is equipped to deal with that, plain and simple. Personally i also wont be having kids of my own because depression and anxiety runs in both sides of my family (literally every member suffering from one or both to varying degrees) and i don't want to pass it on if i don't have to.
Yeah, like I have autism and adhd and no matter what if I have the choose, I won’t have biological kids because I can neither take care of them nor do I wish them the same life as me. If cannot assure they have a happy life, then I prefer not to have anything
i teared at the first story bc i'm in the brother's shoes rn and idk if i can even trust my own siblings. also, why tf are the CHILDREN supposed to be "the bigger person" and not the parents. its always "why cant you forgive them?", instead of "why cant you accept me?"
Yeah, it’s p messed up that the couldn’t who have been neglected, abused, or kicked out solely for who they are have to forgive the people who made their lives so unbearable and miserable to live.
I think it's so disrespectful of his sister to say those things. He doesn't need her or his parents in his life. I hope he is able to have a long and happy life.
The one about the dad who’d disowned his kid for “killing” the mother in birth. I’d go back to him with “if you loved my mother so much then why are you remarrying. Real love doesn’t end when death does you part.” These types of people sicken me.
I’m a firm believer that if someone wants you to refer to them as a certain pronoun or chosen name, then you should respect their wishes, it’s just common decency. *That being said,* if some douche-canoe started getting into a verbal fight with me in order to get me to call them by their professional title exclusively, I’d go outta my way to come up with the most stupid nickname possible for them and use it excessively, for the rest of time.
Same! It depends on the intentions for me. A different pronoun or name to make them more comfortable, sure! A formal, professional title in a casual setting that implies we're not equals... nope
Yes for example my friends name is jasmine and back home in California she grew up being called Jasmine but in college she’s gone by Ki’Amber and introduces herself as such same with my friend dj obviously Thts not on his birth certificate but it’s wat he wants to be called so me going out of my way to call them by their first names is just rude especially after they expresses distaste. However if I didn’t feel comfortable referring to them as such I wouldn’t then I believe it’s up to one of us to either let it go or if it’s tht important stop talking to each other
That girl with vEDS hit me hard. I have another variation: hEDS, it’s no where near as deadly but it’s still regulated me to a life time of pain. I made the same decision as her a couple years ago. I’m only 16, and I am rock solid in my decision. As a disabled person, it isn’t ableist to want a pain free life for your kid. I don’t want my future kids to have to have 4-5 surgeries that I had to, and miss out on as much of my childhood as I did. Not to mention giving birth with EDS can be incredibly dangerous too, some people with EDS’s bodies are just too weak for it. That women’s idea of ableism in completely misplaced. Getting rid of ableism is not about shaming disabled people trying not to pass on genetic conditions, it’s about equality, equity and treating everyone well and acknowledging that everyone has different needs and circumstances as Dylan said.
I came to comment exactly this, I also have hEDS. There is a girl on tiktok with a worse type currently on the road to euthanisation bc of how terrible her chronic pain is. Similarly, my aunt and uncle never had children because she was worried about passing on the Huntington’s gene (a horrific disease). None of those things are eugenics.
I had the exact same thought about someone with vEDS giving birth and how dangerous that could be. I personally haven't experienced it in anyone I know but know about dermatosporaxis (Ehlers-Danlos-like Syndrome) in dogs and that is a challenge to manage. I respect everyone's decisions here and there is so much more to the conversation than being ableist.
The post about the father who blamed his son for "killing" his mother, I have seen this post elsewhere as well, and I have always thought it was because he never wanted to raise a child anyway, and was going to saddle the wife with all the hard work while he went out and did only fun stuff with the kid, thus getting the credit of parenting, and now he doesn't have that option. The whole thing just has the vibe of "So I have to do all this stuff I don't want and I am not even getting anything out of it? Like I don't even have a woman to take care of me, AND I have to take care of someone else? So unfair!!" As proved by the fact that he gave away the son to his sister. His new fiance should get a hint about how she could expect to be treated. He just probably wants this woman to pamper him.
The step mom wedding one definitely brought back some awful memories ; my "step-mom" (my dad and her weren't married) always treated me pretty badly, to the point where neighbours and friends were weirded oud by how whe treated me in comparison to my brother and her own kid. I look a lot like my mom while my brother looks much more like my dad, so I've always wondered if that was one of the reasons.
Yeah the step-parent issue is sadly a very common experience, though the severity of it changes. My step-dad wasn’t a terrible step-parent, but he definitely experiences that jealousy a lot of step-parents have for their spouses kid. He gets irritable whenever my mom and I spend the day together or even work on a chore together. I’m an adult and this still happens. A kid shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to spend time/ talk to their mom.
Me too, it felt very similar to my experience with my mom’s ex wife and my dad’s girlfriend. My mom’s ex wife knew me since I was four but never wanted to be a parent to me or saw me as part of her family. She would yell at my mom asking if my mom loved me more than her (wtf), hence why they’re no longer married. My dad’s girlfriend was vocal about the fact that she never wanted to be a parent either and hated my mom’s ex wife because of how she treated me, but when I was in high school, did the exact same shit and caused me to move out of my dad’s house on bad terms. I’m nineteen now and I’ve tried making amends with her but it’s seemingly something she has no interest in.
My mum is like the opposite, literally loves my step-siblings does everything in her power to make them happy but is not always accepting of the fact she still has her own children and needs to take care of them, especially the older ones we've been a little neglected
Me too! My stepmother was very nasty to me. It was so bad that her friends had to step in a few times. I also look a lot like my mother and my stepmom always envied her (my mothers gorgeous and my stepmom just isn’t lmao) as a kid I would always hear her talking about the clothes my mother wore which was ironic because my stepmom was a stripper and regularly wore less. But somehow my mother was a whore for wearing tight jeans or a bikini 💀 I think they act that way out of jealousy and insecurity, so I can kinda sympathize but she made my childhood hell
For the guy being weirded out by his gf saying “I love you” to her brother story and the brother giving a thumbs up back: That’s just how little brothers are??? 😭😭😭 I’m an older sister and I tell my younger brother I love him all the time, and half the time he says “thanks” or mumbles “I love you too” back - that’s literally normal.
yeah ikr i was like, b-but that's the normal response. I would be weirded out if my twin brother replied to anything I said enthusiastically. Also as someone who also can't muster up words of affirmation, i can totally understand the brother not being able to reply properly, dang i struggle with telling my mom i love her so yeah...that dude is just weird
This is all so interesting to learn because in my family, saying I love you is very easy, I tell my parents and older sister I love them a lot. My older sister isn't much of a hugger but she does comfort me and show her support for me a lot in different ways. Maybe it's because my parents had girls? Idk.
I feel like the gaming situation is more nuanced: if both players know how to play a game, then yes try, and go beat them! But if one player is just interested in what you do and pretty much never played the game then do a fun little easy game with them, while they get the hang out of it and try to help them to score! You can still win but maybe 10:5 would be more fun for everyone. Nuking them with a 28:0 is just a terrible way of showing off, we get it, you won a game you've been playing since you crawled out of the womb against someone who pretty much never had a controller in the hand
@@xvgm24 The narrator was likely unreliable, sounds like he was probably very condescending while playing, he did mention that he told her THREE times that she had no chance. She is an adult and can understand the first time.
@@waitwhat7354 Maybe because he knew she would throw a fit if she lost, and just wanted to avoid it. Either of these are just speculations, so all we can really go with is what was written.
@@waitwhat7354 It sounded to me like he thought she didn't believe him that she had no chance, he REALLY needed to show her and might have trash-talked her like "Oh you see, you got no chance". If she just wanted to play to try his interest and he wanted to demolish her to teach her a lesson then I would never speak to that person either xD.
As a medical student in his first year of studies, i would be absolutely horrified if my family members, or family of people I would be dating, keep calling me Doctor the moment I graduate. Like, I'm only a doctor from 8-5, after that I'm just a dude who wants some peace and quiet.
@@displayname9538 That's true but not until they get their own practice or work with someone at a set practice. Before that it's chaotic hours, and that's mostly what I referred to, right after they graduate ;) I wouldn't want that job for anything but respect most of those that take it!! Just not the ones that are only out for the money or the chance to be called Doctor every second lol
I think the Dr. story tells way more than just the guy being a bit egocentric and wanting to be recognized for his work profession. To me, asking people to call you by your professional name is really.. cold. In a professionnal setting, people call you by your profession OR mr. Miss. Mme. Etc.. and so its a really distant way of calling other people. The boyfriend asking his girlfriend's family to put Dr before his name sounds like he doesnt see them as people close to him. In my eyes it goes deeper than just wanting to be respected as a Doctor. He said he will only allow it if the girlfriend and him get married, but like.. wouldnt you want to be close with your girlfriend's friends and family before then? Why does he want to distance himself from her "circle" ? It's also really strange that he's annoyed that they treat him comfortably, like friends and family are supposed to do...
Seriously though, shouldn't he be happy that his gf's family and friends feel comfortable around him enough to speak to him in an informal and casual way?
I mean, I've been in relationships where I literally wouldn't see my gf's family at all. Even with the most vile and abhorrent people: when they are your parents it's harder to reject them I guess
@@Trisnice I don’t understand your point… are we talking about the same story? Because if not your point is irrelevant to the story we are discussing. The boyfriend is part of the gf’s life and both are part of her parents and friend’s lives. So.. there’s really no point in discussing a world where that would not be the case 😅
@@yoonminonice4562 Just because he sees them doesn't mean he doesn't have problems or likes them at all. My point was more to answer "wouldnt you want to be close with your girlfriend's friends and family before then? Why does he want to distance himself from her "circle" ?" Perhaps he has problems with them and that's why he'll see them to make the gf happy but nothing more.
The last dude, Dr Boyfriend, while being an obvious narcissistic douche canoe, is justified in standing firm on how he's addressed. It's your boyfriend, you have to respect what he chooses to be called, he's definitely entitled to be addressed with his chosen title. If you're going to choose to be with someone, you should respect the way they choose to be addressed, just as you should respect all of your SO's wishes and they should respect yours, but if they're bat shit and you think their wishes are ridiculous, it's probably time to revaluate your relationship. I mean, do you really want to be with someone who insists on be called "doctor" in personal settings, even by their extended family? That's revealing way more than just a personal preference in titles, it's not as inane as that. If someone INSISTS on reverence to the point of arguing with their SO's family over it, their self importance and reality aren't aligning. He's entitled to choose his title, but she's just as she's entitled to choose a new boyfriend.
I agree with most of what you've said, but from what is mentioned, he doesn't know his gf's family very well, so wanting the conversations to be less personal at first seems reasonable, and he did mention that once the gf and him get married they can start referring to him by his first name.
@@gunforall6247that's like the key way to start off bad in a relationship lol. They are officially girlfriend and boyfriend. Sure they haven't legally committed yet, but the fact that he even brought up marriage means they were at least serious enough. The goal of meeting your partner's family is to build a relationship, not drive wedges and barriers loool
The doctor one annoys me because it absolutely feels like a power thing. A friend like that isn't a friend at all because they're placing a professional border between us as well as making themselves the authority. I can understand it only when you are strangers, just as people refer to others by Mr or Ms when they don't know them, but that fact also makes it so obvious how out of place the title is amongst friends and family
i would not be capable of not laughing in the persons face if someone insisted i call them "dr. justin" in a purely social setting. its so laughable and insane to me, which is how i feel about like 75% of AITAs to the point that i really struggle to believe many of them are true
i was raised every other week by my dad’s wife and him. She was and is exactly like how that woman sounds, which resulted in me and my sibling being emotionally neglected. We both now struggle with childhood trauma… Never marry someone without also acknowledging that you are in fact now also their child(ren)’s parent, and don’t think about your relationship as a spouse, but as a family where the kids are accounted into most, if not every, decisions. It hurts to see your parent go on summer vacation every year without ever taking you with. Or when they go to the cinema every other week, but never get you a proper bed so you just end up sleeping on a mattress for 8 years when you’re at their place, because they “don’t have the money”.
Sadly. . Your dad seems most to blame here. My dad is the same and step mom is so mean but I am more upset with him for allowing it and being g her slave dispite it hurting me
I blame the parent more in those situations. When you have kids you need to put them first, and if you want to marry again you need to make sure the person you chose will accept your kids and treat them well.
I'm so sorry your father put you through that, I'm a step parent, and when I got married SD was included, because she's part of my spouse's family and now mine, sure she was super cute and got some attention but so did I and my wife, I think it's important to have couple things, ie when the kids are with their other parent you have a date night or just hang together but a wedding is a family affair. balance is important but going into it thinking that a 9 y/o is a attention hog screams. 🚩🚩🚩
Dylan has a brother?! I get so shocked whenever he just casually mentions random facts about his personal life while telling us about something, it always suddenly hits me with the "Oh right, he is real person and not some internet entity" feeling..
It’s weird that the dude asking to be called “Dr.” every single time is comfortable enough with her family to pick fights with them but not comfortable enough to be called by his first name. He doesn’t seem to be very humble, but maybe he has a logical reason for wanting to be called that. The way he tries to get his point across comes off as aggressive though, so he shouldn’t expect anyone to be receptive of it.
Some people are more willing to defend their wishes than others, so it doesn't really mean he's comfortable with them (Which might be why he doesn't want them referring to him as only his first name.) It's understandable to be frustrated and more aggressive when your gf's family is repeatedly disrespecting your wishes and she isn't doing anything about it.
I was thinking it may be because of where he is from? If he is from Asia they have different ways of adressing you depending on how well you know them. My bf's family has something similar with status and how i adress them at home vs out in public, also depending on age, (but they also explained it to me so i could understand it beforehand). Just a thought, dont know it it makes complete sence but i am sleepy while writing this :P
as someone who’s dad got remarried to a woman who didn’t/doesn’t accept my siblings and i, the trauma this caused me has left permanent damages. i was 8 when he got remarried. not much younger than the daughter in the scenario. when they were dating, my stepmom referred to me as a diva, brat, and a conniving manipulator. she had/has a strong dislike of me since i was a child. years later, when i was living with them, my stepmom referred to us as his children instead of our children. she has children of her own and always treated her children better. this continued into my teenage years and i academically and artistically out performed my step siblings. i was accused of being a show off and “purposely trying to humiliate” my step siblings. her daughter and i are very close in age (9 months difference) and her daughter would accuse me of various indiscretions from minor things (rude comments) to major incidents (stealing/physical attacks). my stepmom would run to my dad about these accusations and when confronted, i would tell the truth but in the end, i never received justice and has painted to be a habitual liar. i became the scapegoat and “whipping boy” for my siblings’ transgressions and placed on permanent grounding/house arrest for 2 years. i was not allowed to have friends. my room, media/devices/phone records were searched and monitored, and my stepmom paid my therapist to tell her what i was saying during sessions. i was reduced to bare basics. these events came to a head when i was 15 and my stepmom and i got into a major argument. i am typically very passive but i finally stood up for myself and called her out. she was accusing me of being a whore and sneaking people into the house when in fact my stepsister was sneaking people in. my stepmom stormed out after issuing an ultimatum to my dad to pick between kicking me (in her words, “that bitch”) out of the house or their marriage. my parents gathered a family meeting and my stepmom convinced my siblings (both biological and step) to vote to kick me out. i was told i was no longer a part of the family and that they didn’t love me anymore. i had a week to pack my belongings before moving 1,500+ miles away to my mothers. they cut all contact for years and any communication i attempted with my siblings were blocked. after i left, my stepsister became the scapegoat then my older brother, then my younger sister. each were subsequently kicked out. they have come around to apologizing after. however, the sense of betrayal and hurt will last a life time. my dad is a passive man and he is still married to her. despite failing to protect and defend me, i still love him. i’ve been able to become civil with my stepmom. however, in my adult years, we are barely in contact. not saying that this is how all blended family situations happen but i am a victim of a woman like this. don’t marry someone you are willing to accept everything that comes with them.
Oh my goodness, that sounds so horrible I can't imagine what it must have been like for you. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Thank you for sharing and hope that you're doing much better now❤
for one thing, obviously fuck your stepmom for that abusive treatment, but wow, double fuck your dad for permitting it. A parent who refuses to protect their children is just as culpable in my eyes. It has to hurt to still love him despite that. Still loving the enabling parent is something I relate to deeply. They're much harder to be as upset with.
7:00 also being incompetent when you're just not is HARD. I was once playing with my 6yo brother and I won a bunch of times and I could sense he was getting upset, so I tried to let him win. Did NOT work. Bro lost and cried
The whole “Dr. “ conversation is a big deal in the weddit community especially in regards to what a couple should be referred to during their entrance if one or both of them are medical or phd doctors. For me it just feels too snobbish and especially working in the medical field even the seasoned doctors I know go by their first name in conversation rather than “Dr.”
Yeah he was definitely that one Gunner whose whole life is centered around being a physician. I could understand asking nurses and admin to use Dr. in the work environment (despite sounding super snobby) but requiring to be called a title in your everyday interactions just shows to me that he thinks he's above the people he's interacting with because of his job.
I tell my sibling I love them and they never say it back. They have always been like that even with my parents. It's not weird they just don't like expressing their feelings.
On the topic of “AITA for not having kids” I always knew from when I was little that I never wanted to have children because that almost guaranteed that they’d have the same genetically transferred issues I got from my parents (nothing as serious as vEDS, but just things that generally made life scarier) and I would never want to have a child who went through the things I did, and I don’t think it’s ableist.
I feel like most people would find it weird to keep referring to someone as doctor after meeting them a couple of times. Sure if they correct you the first time alright but after multiple times of meeting that person you move past the titles because it’s normal to be relaxed in front of someone you know
But shouldn’t that be up to him? It sounds like they never respected his wishes in being called dr. In the first place? Wouldn’t that get annoying if you asked someone to call you be a specific name and the continually didn’t just because they felt they shouldn’t have to
@@iamamoore6944 but according to other people no other doctor does this and this doctor just seems stuck up honestly. in casual convos no they donlt need to call him doctor
That would be like saying “the older people I know don’t want to be called ma’am/ sir so you shouldn’t want me to call you ma’am/ sir.” When yes some people see it as “showing their age” while others see it as a sign of respect. If someone specifically asks you to call them by something specific it doesn’t hurt to try.
@@iamamoore6944 His wishes are moronic and rude, they are the parents of his girlfriend, not his patients. If someone just wants to be know for their profession, they must be really lacking in personality. Your job is what you do, not who you are.
As a practicing Christian, I can say that loving others is the CORE teaching of our religion! I hope that kid who got disowned by his parents cuz they were “religious” is leading a good life
Ok so as a disabled person myself I think that it's fine to decide not to have kids because you're disabled, but when other people start telling you that you shouldn't have kids and try to make that decision for you, that is ableism on their part.
There's a study done with rats that is relevant to the gf gaming story. When they studied rats wrestling larger rats would invariably beat smaller rats most of the time, given their ‘pinning’ game was very body weight dependent. But when larger rats would not let smaller rats win once in a while ( around 30% of the time), the smaller rats would stop playing with them. They no longer wanted to play when it was impossible for them to win, they were fine with losing most of the time, as long as there was a chance they could win.
I have a feeling that when Dylan edits 85% of the time is spent in laughing at his own jokes and his own edits. His editing skills are getting out of this world good. He must’ve patted himself in the back after the Saw bit, for sure.
wanting people you're acquainted with on a non-professional social basis to refer to you as doctor is so strange lmao it creates a weird power dynamic and kinda makes it seem like he thinks he's above them like???
When I play with unskilled people, I try to makes sure they have fun, if they win or lose, it was a fun match. I try to save the competition mindset for competitions.
i have ehlers danlos syndrome and i have been said that same story before... not only do i not want to give any biological children the gene cause of how much suffering they would have to go through but also just how many complications there would be during pregnancy! there is a huge difference between ableism and not wanting your own child to suffer
i have elhers danlos syndrome and am also currently getting tested for the vEDS gene and i completely understand not wanting to pass it on. EDS is a really tough disease and vEDS specifically can cut your lifespan in half, completely with her on not wanting to pass it on.
It is weird that he wants to be called 'dr.' by everyone, cause doctors generally don't and one of the simple reasons for that is that they don't want everyone to bother them with their minor (or major) medical issues.
yes exactly. My mom is a pediatrician and adolescent counselor and everyone in my family see it as a prideful thing (yes we are an asian family) so they will mention it to anyone who asks. But then my mom gets fed up by it sometimes because no matter the problem, every relative of ours ever to have existed (and we have many) will reach out to my mother for a medical opinion even though she is not their physician and has no first hand knowledge of their medical history and is a pediatrician and shouldn't technically be catering to adults because medicine is vastly different for children as compared to adults. My NEVER wants to emphasize her profession in social settings and also because she doesn't want to appear as an entitled person
Even weirder that he wants to be called "Doctor FirstName" not "Doctor LastName". That's not even a socially normal thing outside maybe your own personal GP or a paediatrician.
I agree with Dylan on all of these. As for the "Dr" story, it took me a moment to wrap my head around it. If it was a first name or nickname or pronoun, sure respect it. Seeing as it's a title, I'm less likely to think its justified. I don't always remember what my friends or family do for work, but i remember their names. To get hostile over it shows the problem is more with him. If he expects the courtesy but doesn't give the courtesy for those who don't want to use it, then he is the one with the problem.
My uncle is a double doctor (Medical and PhD) and from what he's told me, most doctors prefer to not be referred to as "Doctor [name]" outside of their work. In fact, sometimes when you get high up enough in the medical ladder, you drop the Doctor from your name completely, even in professional contexts. From the sound of it, this guy is either a straight up narcissist who thinks he's better than his gf's family or a big headed recent graduate who wants the ego boost. Definitely a yikes.
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (your pronunciation was totally fine by the way) and I completely understand why the poster would decide not to have bio children, especially with vascular type which does have a much higher chance of death from complications like spontaneous aortic dissection. I have hypermobile type which has a lower chance of early death but still severely impairs quality of life. I am in pain all of the time and have numerous health issues related to it. I’ve always been really maternal and always wanted to be a mom but I’ve decided not to have kids because I personally feel that it would be irresponsible to pass this pain onto them knowingly. Hypermobile type has no genetic test so there is no chance of testing for the markers in the womb and pregnancy would probably wreck my body anyway. It’s a hard enough decision to make without people feeling entitled to tell you that you’re wrong.
The whole not calling him doctor thing sounds like a power trip to me. Wants to make sure everyone knows he is intelligent and hardworking and above them in society. I hate it
NTA- i would get it if he went by a certain name or nickname like wanting to be called nick instead of james, but wanting to be called “dr.” by your girlfriend’s family is definitely giving narcissism. and picking fights about it is just so fucking over the top
The boyfriend being weirded out by her saying she loves her brother was so bizarre, I'm not a very affectionate person so when my family says they love me I also kind of reply awkwardly, I don't have a problem with it but expressing love is not my kind of thing and it sounds like the brother is like that too. So weird that the boyfriend thought that meant he was uncomfortable
Hey - Daughter of divorced and remarried sets of parents (with an incredibly positive relationship with my step-mother) here. I don't 100% agree that this step-mum to be was *completely* in the wrong for wanting to have the day be all about her - probably because of my experience as the child in a similar scenario! The age gaps are similar between my dad and stepmum as in the post (married at 27f and 36m, us kids were 11f and 10f). On their wedding day, us kids were not super involved in the wedding. For the ceremony, we greeted my step-mum first before she walked down the aisle for a hug, and then actually sat a few rows back with our cousins. For the reception, we were seated with the fun aunts and uncles rather than at the head table with our dad and the bridal party - we left after the main events with grandparents. Us kids were mentioned only in the speeches at the reception (as part of the stories they were sharing) and not in the ceremonial vows at all - and that was absolutely fine with us because the day really was all about the two of them and their relationship with each other. The difference maybe was that we had a really good relationship with our step-mum and were a bit older. It was a no brainer that we were part of the deal when they were married - but as far as we were concerned the wedding wasn't about us at all. She already introduced us to people as 'the kids' so they always just assumed she was our mother (and would raise eyebrows when doing the mathematics later). She's literally a mother figure anyway in 'real life' - why can't she have a day that's just about the two of them if she makes an effort every other day. My stepmum still celebrates a "yay-us" day in October (when she moved in with us) 15 years later. Note - that's *not* on their wedding anniversary (which is in April) I've *never* been a part of that celebration. Also, We had been to enough weddings before and after to realise that - when there are kids (even cute little flower girls and ring bearers) they 100% steal the show. At my Aunty's I didn't even look at her entry down the isle because the flower girls were fiddling with their dresses and playing up to the grandparents. IDK, let her be the star for the day. Once you're older you don't have as many days to celebrate yourself and these kids have so many events that they can be the stars of coming up that she will be a part of. Let it be about her.
I think you relate toooo much to the story and as such try to frame it in relation to your own experiences. Your not wrong that under certain circumstances it would be fine, however, the way the post was written and framed and the fact that the post was written on AITA provides a lot of subtext that people are reading into and lead them to believe the relationship between the kids and step mom is not great. And perhaps that is inaccurate and people are misreading the situation because it is in a written format and just a post without the full context someone living the situation would have. All situations are unique and maybe it is not an issue but from an objective view and analysis of just the post I must agree with the majority that she is likely the one in the wrong.
@@haydenlux5027 absolutely fair - I mean I definitely can’t escape that my own bias would play a huge part in how I view the situation. I would just also warn against the step-mother wanting to steal that dad away from the existing kids trope. Just because someone doesn’t want the kids in every part of their life doesn’t mean they don’t want them anywhere! In my experience, it was so prevalent (particularly with step-mums and not so much step-dads … interestingly) that if they don’t 110% become super involved and enthusiastic they are bad people. I wanted to share my alternate view particularly here where I was (at the time) seeing a lot of comments saying that if she doesn’t want the kids involved in the wedding they should separate. I felt like the view was definitely leaning towards the assumption the relationship was bad. I also kind of wonder how much the weight of her having a close relationship with the kids would change if the gender roles were reversed…
If it's Taylor we're talking about I'll call her "Dr. Taylor" if she wants me to, during a casual conversation we'll never have. I'd be happy to do so lmao
“it’s weird that she says i love you to her brother” bruh i say i love you to anyone i care about in any way. “i love you” can have many meanings, most of them not even remotely romantic and my girlfriend thinks it’s cute that i do that. she often tells me “you have a big heart and as long as there’s a place for me in it i’m happy. you have a lot of love in you, please share it” and i melt every time that’s so sweet
as a disabled person, i think it’s important to note that there is a HUGE difference between saying that disabled people shouldnt exist and saying that if possible you want to avoid putting unnecessary suffering on your future child. one is literal eugenics, and the other is a completely normal thought process and opinion
Yes, but people will conflate the two. I see it all the time & it's nonsensical
I despise that argument so much. HOW IS NOT WISHING UNENDING SUFFERING ON YOUR FLIPPING CHILD ABLEIST?!? What parents would deliberately want their kid to suffer in any manner? The people making this specific ableist crap argument in this context would never lift a finger to help either. While I agree that being ableist is a shitty thing to be, this is not ableism in any form or manner
@@ShamaD274 did you even read what they wrote? they never said it was ableist.
@@mi.l3na Yeah. I wrote in support of it(?)
@@mi.l3na I was talking bout the OP's friend in the video
How does that girl not realize that marriage is about two family's coming together??? If you don't won't kids fine - don't marry him. She also seems to not understand what children are like and needs more realistic expectations
The nine year old is selfish,she isn't that part took me out .
Like what in the parent trap is going on here Meredith Blake
also, I was kinda getting a 'it's my wedding' not 'it's our wedding' vibes from her. I don't see that marriage going well, tbh. she seems way too immature.
It genuinely sounds like she’s probably the one that was forcing him into the wedding in the first place.
As someone that's worked with a number of kids in my profession I'm no longer mystified by children and sympathize with her on some level. Some kids really are little jerks
And she's still on the younger end at 22 with no children of her own. I wasn't ready to be a step mother to a kid at that age either. Probably shouldn't have gotten involved with a guy with kids in the first place but maybe she's still up to marring him because the kids live with their mom for the most part? idk
Maybe I'm an a hole too but I wouldn't want a kid I barely know causing drama at my wedding either. They should probably put off the wedding or compromise by making the reception adult only
The step-mother annoyed me- I went to a wedding this weekend and the bride was marrying a guy with a 9 year old daughter. Daughter was a prominent member of the bridal party, and then at the speeches the bride got up and spoke directly to the daughter, telling her how much she loved her and how she couldn't wait to watch her grow up. Bride cried, daughter cried, everyone cried. Kids deserve love from their caregivers and if you marry a man, you also marry his kids. Same rules apply if you switch the genders.
Yeah, that was my step father when he married my mom. He always referred to me as his daughter even before they got married and their relationship was getting more serious. When they got married, he made sure that both my mom and I felt special that day and I even got a father daughter dance with him. They got married when I was 9, and I honestly considered him my dad. And still do, even though he passed away. I don't have an kids and I would love to also find someone near my age that doesn't have any kids. But if I fell in love with a good man who had a child from a previous relationship. I had the best teacher in life to show me, what it means to be a good step parent. The lady in that Reddit was just so selfish.
Yeah I’m with you but the thing that no ones thinking about is what if the kid is truly bitchy and prone to make a scene, it’s unlikely but if the dad has trouble enforcing rules as she said then the kid could be a bit out of control especially feeling as though their parent is moving on to another women. 🤷
@@Harew0lf Hmm I get where you're coming from, but if that's the case, excluding her from the wedding would only foster resentment and make the daughters behaviour worse, because she would never forgive her stepmother for excluding her.
@@jacquelinelugo5518 that's lovely. I'm glad you had a good relationship with him 🥰
@@bananamanchester4156 yeah
i'm confused by the first one...so he didn't get kicked out for BEING gay, he got kicked out for TELLING PEOPLE about it?? And that somehow makes it better???
I would argue that because his Dad was a pastor, it 100% was about him being gay AND his church knowing about it
@@taylorannepaisley1342 oh him being gay is definitely the ACTUAL reason he got kicked out, but OP acting like "oh its cause he told people about his gayness" makes it okay and not homophobic is what really threw me for a loop
Might have been the reaction because the dad is a pastor. Kinda like, if the community sees you can't keep your kid under control, within the flock, etc. then you as the leader and parent look bad. So kicking out can be seen as an "if you live under my roof, you follow my rules" type thing where yeah the parent then literally doesn't let the kid stay under their roof anymore if they don't "follow the rules" which in this case means at least pretending to be repentant of your gayness
It’s disturbing how the brother doesn’t get that he’s been brainwashed with homophobia. He’s his parents’ little puppet and they’re still hurting the son they abandoned through the other son. Fucked up.
the reason was homophobia. like tis not confusing tbh. parents are assholes and they do not deserve to be in his life.
The doctor thing is so stupid to me - how insecure and at the same time stuck up do you have to be to require people to refer to your as Dr. in casual conversation? I would probably be petty and just not use his first name ever again, but start calling him pet-names (buddy, pal, dude) to drive him nuts or call him like Doctor J or Doc.
To me it's just an invitation to carry a carrot around and never say anything else than *smack smack* 'Eeeh, what's up Doc?' to him.
it’s so weird to me. Like don’t people become doctors to help others? Looks like he became a doctor to be called one…
Haha, love the petty queen
Man does that, just overload him with his demanded title.
“Doctor, how are you doing?
“Doctor, isn’t the weather nice?”
“Doctor, can I spill some family shit I’ve got going on?”
“Doctor, don’t leave! You must help me! It is your dUtY!”
This muppet in particular is giving “call me your majesty” energy
As a doctor myself, I am weirded out if someone addresses me as doc outside professional setup. Sometimes my Uncles call me "Madam Doctor" for fun and it just throws me off balance 😂 I appreciate it though. They are lovely.
In connection to the ableist story, I once interviewed a mom that had a genetic condition but decided to have 5 kids, 4 boys and 1 girl. All of them ended up having the condition, with the girl being a carrier. All 4 sons did not live past the age of a teenager, dying due to complications. So yes, I think it is understandable to not want children in fear of passing a genetic condition.
@@MSoundous I imagine it was for welfare honestly, they lived in those housing areas where you can't live there unless you make a certain amount of money w/ kids.
@@MSoundous As a parent, she should want to give her children a good life, if not better. Having them, knowing perfectly well that they will suffer almost inevitably and possibly die very young, because of the social norm or "for company" is just selfishness in my eyes.
My dad's family has quite the list of health problems that have been passed down and although it's not as bad as the one in the video, it's still something you don't want your kids to have. For example they have thyroid problems -which my cousin now has, asthma - my siblings have this, and diabetes
Adoption is incredibly expensive and surprisingly stigmatized. It's hard to know what her situation was, but a possibility is that she really wanted to be a mom with a big family, even at the expense of the children she wanted so bad.
@@MSoundous some people want to be parents and don’t want to adopt, either for personal reasons or societal reasons. I can’t really fault or shame anyone for that regardless of their genetics, especially since it really feels like it’s supporting eugenics to shame and dissuade someone from having kids due to genetic reasons. I feel like people should be allowed to decide if the the do or don’t want to have kids, regardless of their genetics.
What do you bet that the girlfriend made up the excuse that her apartment would “be too obvious” because she knows her friend’s a crap roommate, and wanted to pawn her off on someone else? And now that the boyfriends kicked her friend out, the girlfriend is actually pissed because her place is the last resort.
bruh that makes so much sense
That whole scenario was beyond weird to me. Girlfriend could’ve been looking for a women’s shelter or trying to find actual resources for her supposed friend, but just pawns her off on her boyfriend.
Shady all around.
That and what woman is gonna have their underwear and t shirt prancing ass friend stay with their man alone... weird. That was like hmm. My husband's guy friends pop over and I instantly throw on a bra. Lmao. This bitch be in her underpants and doesn't realize that's a no no?? 🤣 People. Smh.
Not to say I wouldn't help a friend of my man's. They know my couch is here. But I'm pretty sure they would NEVER run around my house in their damn tights whiteys either. 🤔🤭
Yup lol
@@broomhilder i find it weird that she would be okay with her friend walking around in her underwear in front of her bf i know the bf didn;t react, but would any gf want their bf living with someone who just walks around in their underwear? i can see why the bf found it awkward.
"he needs to be the bigger person"
weren't his parents bigger than him when they kick him out?? not to mention fully consient adults and knowing perfectly what they were doing
genuinely cannot imagine doing that to a child.
also, "shittalking" their parents? was it shit talking or was it saying "my parents kicked me out of the house" when asked why he couldnt get to fucking school or something
@@twinbruisesonmyshins it's unnerving how the op of the post can't comprehend the amount of distress and trauma he inflicted to his brother for bringing up the past. It is either he does not care for his brother or he is just as homophobic as his parents.
as someone who didn’t grow up religious, it’s crazy to me how religion can tear apart families. i would hate to have a belief system be the reason i lost connection with my brother
@@euuuughhhh7799 abusive people are abusive no matter what they believe, the problem is then when they are religious, they use that to justify themselves (which can be even more traumatic to the child). It's absolutely disgusting - I grew up in a religious home, and my parents NEVER behaved like that, they wanted everyone to feel safe in our house.
I didn't really get that part about him being thrown out. So his parents knew he was gay and didn't mind as long as he kept it a secret until graduation. But he told others and they kicked him out because others knew they had a gay son? Like, his parents didn't mind him being gay, but others judging them for not punishing their gay son for being gay?
Hey Dylan,
I’m disabled and wanted to talk about the AITA story about vED. The friend is WAY out of line, there is a huge difference between visual impairment or blindness then a fatal disability. Blind & Deaf individuals don’t considered themselves to be “broken”, those communities love and appreciate their disability and their community. They live their lives differently than a “normal” person, and that’s not to say that it isn’t difficult- because it 1000% is.
But to tell someone that it’s abelist to not want to watch their child live with a progressive, painful, and fatal disease? That’s disgusting and extremely rude. I live with chronic illness everyday from multiple disabilities, and it will never get better for me just worse. I would never want to bring a child into this world with the possibility that they might share a fraction of the pain I live with. It’s so frustrating knowing that people like that friend exist.
I agree
I dont mean to be disrespectful but have a serious question. You say Blind and Deaf individuals love and appreciate their disabilities but as an outside this just makes no sense to me. Accepting them a understand but appreciating them seems too far. Like we arent far from technology that would restore sight and hear to many of these people. Would the community not want these abilities restored?
If so thats great! Im not one of them so I cant say how your life may be improved in other ways as a result of blindness or losing hearing. I can only think of it from my perspective of how I think I would feel if tomorrow I couldn't hear anymore or see. With that said, to love and appreciate being blind means that you would prefer it, as opposed to saying accepting and adapting which would mean you are fine being blind and dont need people feeling sorry for you...but if you could pick you would pick sight.
Again I hope this doesnt offend, I just dont understand appreciating losing something that I value so much and would like to understand.
@@mike-mz6yz I am not blind or deaf, but the technology has existed for a long time and many within the community find it offensive. Some do not feel there is anything wrong with them and prefer the way they were born/are. Just bc you can’t understand how it would be possible to prefer to be deaf/blind doesn’t mean there aren’t whole communities who not only accept it but prefer it.
If you have any other questions, I recommend you seek answers from someone who has actually lived that experience.
@@mike-mz6yz hey I'm not fully deaf, but I was born deaf in my right ear. It honestly depends on the experiences of the deaf person, e.g someone who gained deafness often tends to miss their hearing more than someone who never had it. Myself, I can't miss something I've never had, this is my normal. I think having the technology there is good for those who will use it but not all want it, as those who don't dislike the idea of it being considered like a disease that needs to be "cured". Considering my type of deafness, typical hearing aids do not work, only a bone-conducting type would and that requires surgery. I don't want to have it as the expense and set back outweighs the benefits and I'm perfectly happy with my life. Honestly, I don't think I'd ever really want to be fully hearing. Sure, it can limit me, but it makes for some funny stories sometimes and I can just put my hearing ear down when there are noisy neighbours. But these are just my experiences.
@@jellybeans3994 that is so true, Im autistic and have ADHD but my hearing is perfect, even too sensitive. And honestly if I would be deaf, live would be so much more peaceful for me that way. And I imagine that as you said, when you are born with it, you cant really miss it.
I love how creative Dylan is with his sponsorships, they get better each video
Nobody does an ad-read like Harry Mack 🙌🏻
Dylan is hilarious
This one was definitly one of my favorites😂
Was just about to comment that !
I love that he is always so excited with what he has done 😂
The one abt the boyfriend being weirded out by his girlfriend saying “I love you” to her brother hit me hard. I always, ALWAYS tell my brother “I love you” after we hang out, because there was a time when he was extremely suicidal. This made me realize that him not always being here was a possibility, if the depression had it’s way. So now it’s just a habit to say “I love you” to him daily, and honestly it weirds me out that some people have a problem with that.
EDIT: First off, I want to say how much I empathize with the people in the replies who are going through the same thing. I'm tearing up going through all these responses, you are all so kind and sweet. I did not expect my comment to get any likes or replies so this much engagement is overwhelming lol.
Anyway, I want to clear up some confusion-- I understand that the boyfriend is most likely insecure with his relationship-- I was looking at this from MY personal perspective: "if my future partner has a problem with me saying 'I love you' to my brother". Basically, why I am personally weirded out by my future partner not being okay with me telling my brother I love him-- not you being uncomfortable with saying "I love you" to ppl(like I ONLY rlly say "I love you" to my bro, because of the above so I get it), but my hypothetical future partner lol. Sorry if my bad wording caused confusion!
Saying "I love you" to anyone isn't weird. Like I say I love you to my friends, family, etc., and if my boyfriend were to have a problem with that then idk what I'd do
me and all my siblings are constantly telling each other we love each other and its so strange to think someone could get upset at that. like, why is it weird to remind someone you care for that you do, in fact, care for them? everyone needs to hear it sometimes, man.
I don’t say I love you, instead I just treat the person kindly. Those words do weird me out too but it’s fine as long as they don’t force me to say it. Him being weirded out seems normal in a way, hopefully one day he learns to treasure it like you do.
I used to be weirded out by it, but now I want to tell people around them that I love them especially after covid.
That's so sweet and your brother is lucky to have you.
I’m honestly so glad that kid told their dad’s wife about how he treated them. Cause like how could you be with someone who literally says that their child “killed” their mother and blames them for something they literally had no control over??
If I was with someone and found out they did that, I would leave them INSTANTLY LOL
Kid did that lady a HUGE favor
What kind of person who thinks like that will do it over something else they’re not the kind of person you want around for a lifetime commitment
That story was F'd up! Giving up your kid because the woman you love died while giving birth to him, makes no sense! The kid is his only or closest living connection to his past love and giving up on him could ruin his life and make her sacrifice worth nothing!
Yeah, the son literally told the new wife the truth.
The step mom wedding one seems like immaturity and jealousy, she wants to be the only woman in his life and cannot accept that his children and ex-wife are a package deal, she knew this before agreeing to marriage lol…wicked step mom vibes
Plus she was 24 right? I’m 25 and that still seems really young to be marrying into a family with children, unless you’re the type who raised other family members growing up
@@broomhilder exactly but, it's her fault. She already knew he had kids. It wasn't something hidden. She's the problem and she clearly isn't accepting the fact that he has already experienced everything she would've liked to experience with her partner for the first time. She most definitely shouldn't be marrying this guy or getting married in general since she seems to still be a bit immature
@@broomhilder True, or generally likes kids and wants to be a parent. The age isn’t really the issue. She’s too immature and/or insecure for that relationship scenario.
She probably shouldn't have dated a man with kids in the first place. I'm sure it'd be hard to just end things at this point though. They might be okay if the kids still live with their Mom and they take some time to build a relationship
Right???! I don’t think her age has much do to with it so much as she clearly doesn’t want to be a parent (at least yet) and it’s like girl…. Haha that’s part of the deal!
there’s a difference between not wanting to give ALREADY LIVING people with disabilities opportunities and assistance because of those existing abilities, and not wanting to have a kid KNOWING that they will go through their entire life in pain.
if i was thinking of having kids and my doctor told me, “your child will be in pain their entire life, and possibly for young,” i would rather not have a kid at all.
This! There’s a huge difference between having no kids vs discriminating against a living child. You are hurting no one by not having a kid. You are hurting someone by hating them/mistreating them when they already exist. I have disabilities and I chose to have a kid, knowing they might have the same thing. And it’s a risk every parent takes when having kids, anyone can be disabled at some point. It’s ableist if you have a kid and then hate them/hurt them because they have a disability. It’s not ableist to choose to not pass things on.
Ironically, I would bet the girl is pro choice, so if the one girl actually got pregnant with the kid that may be disabled, she'd probably be down to with the abortion. Maybe not, but I'm assuming
As someone going into genetic counseling not having kids due to such a serious condition is actually a very responsible choice. The trauma that surrounds someone being born with a death sentence is horribly complicated both medically and emotionally. Also comparing disabilities that aren’t fatal to those that are is like comparing how to treat a cold to how to treat cancer.
totally. and, I think that being blind is not a genetic thing, or at least, not possible to prevent. She is doing the right thing, is not ableist.
@@gisela_oliveira FYI some types of blindness are genetic.
@@tamsel814 thanks for informing me, I had no idea. But the point is still there (I hope)
what in the world is genetic counseling?
@@tupaclives5848 It can get complicated so here is the Wiki answer. “Genetic counseling is the process of investigating individuals and families affected by or at risk of genetic disorders to help them understand and adapt to the medical, psychological and familial implications of genetic contributions to disease; this field is considered necessary for the implementation of genomic medicine.”
about the woman concerned about passing the vEDS gene to her potential kids: this doesn't even have to be a disability discussion, this can be ended at her having the choice to do or not do with her own body as she chooses. if she doesn't want kids for whatever reason, that's valid, end of discussion. also i think there's a big difference between something like visual impairment (like the friend's family member had) and a syndrome that WILL kill you very painfully. there are enough kids without families out there. she can just adopt one.
THIS. I think the ableist thing isn’t necessarily from a place of a phobia for disabled people. Some conditions will cause a lot of pain and suffering. Some will be more comparable to an inconvenience.
I think there’s also the point of people recognizing they’re not equipped to raise a child that has certain conditions. You hear people say all the time, “your kid may be x, y, or z, and if you’re not prepared to be a parent to that kid, don’t have kids!” You don’t get to turn around and tell people they’re shitty for not having kids for that reason. They’re recognizing their own abilities and potential shortcomings and making the decision to not put the hypothetical child in more misery because their parent can’t give them the support they need. A child that never existed will not be sad that it wasn’t brought into existence.
I’m definitely sliding a little off the road of the main point here, but people like to talk about “taking responsibility”, as if that means setting everything aside to raise a child. But sometimes, the responsible decision IS deciding not to have that child.
@@uniraffesaur THIS.
I'm autistic and mentally ill. Autism is known to (often) have a genetic component. The world is becoming more accepting and aware, but autism is still very much a disability and it makes my life so so so much harder than it would be if I were neurotypical. I would not want to "intentionally" bring a child into this world that would have a likelihood of being disabled and having a really hard time. I'm able to live independently and work and all that but it can be incredibly difficult for me to handle regular, everyday things. This isn't the only reason I've decided not to have kids, but it is absolutely a factor for me, that being a parent would be incredibly difficult and taxing.
this x 1000000000000000000000
there is also surrogate options :)
Real talk, nobody wants to be disabled. It does sound harsh to say it like that but it's the truth. So it's completely understandable if OP doesn't want to have kids that she knows have a high possibility of having a disorder. It saves both the parents and the kids from having a hard time because it's a fact that it's hard to live with impairments.
Re: Kicking the girl out, I stayed at my friends' house for 4 days and I vacuumed every room, did the dishes, and folded laundry because I felt I had to pay them back for the food/bed/bath. Can't imagine staying with someone for *2 months* without helping out 😭
Same bro. Ive never really been in that situation but I'd feel like an absolute POS for just laying around all day at my buddy's house
Right like I feel like I have to help if I’m even there for one day forget 2 months
The fact that this doctor feels entitled enough to FORCE people to remind him of his profession and his alleged succsess each time they wanna address him screams narcissism. You command respect not demand it
Sorry to be that person, but "command" and "demand" are basically the same thing, you probably meant "earn" ?
@@durazno6897 nah they ain't the same thing, look it up. And earn is pretty synonymous with command.
@@LO-dm6uf command: "verb 1.
give an authoritative order."
demand: "verb
ask authoritatively or brusquely."
Not to be the second person but i think something got a bit crossed here.
@@LO-dm6uf i know what a homonym is, that's not what that is.
@@durazno6897 It's kind of an expression, "to command respect". It more or less means that a person is so intrinsically respectable (i.e. good or honorable) that just their sheer personality "commands" respect, without having to explicitly ask for it.
"Demanding" respect however, in this case, is literally _asking_ for it verbally. Such behavior can have the opposite effect of "commanding" it, because "demanding" it from someone else kind of projects that the person verbally requesting it is self-centered and kind of an asshole; whereas someone who "commands" it would receive respect because they are inherently worthy and deserving of it - no need to beg for it.
As someone with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and with most of my own family affected by EDS (not the vascular kind, thank god, cause vEDS is INCREDIBLY painful and most people with vEDS don't make it to their 20s, but still, having hypermobile EDS, I understand the disorder pretty well), that wasn't ableist, at least in my opinion. Considering the near-certain young death and the pain of it all, passing down vEDS would be devastating, not only because you know you're going to outlive your child, but they're going to be living their life in a lot of pain. If someone doesn't want to risk putting someone else through that, it's not ableist, it's considerate. And the poster could always just adopt instead, if they really do want kids. EDS of any kind is already a nightmare. vEDS is hell. the poster isn't saying that "life with any disability is a hell not worth living," they're just saying that "life with vEDS can get so bad that I don't want to put someone else through that much pain and then watch them die." simply put, that's not ableist.
Well she did say she didn't want bio-kids so it seems like if she were to have kids then that would be her way, or marring someone with kids and taking them as their own.
This is so well said. I've noticed its becoming increasingly popular for people to have extreme emotional reactions to each and every situation and now no one listens to each other anymore. Someone says "I wouldn't want my child to experience this disability" and all everyone around them hears is "I don't think people with this disability should exist" and then they react to the second statement, which is not the same thing. Somehow we're getting worse at having conversations and understanding each other.
Hi fellow EDSer! I’m also in the hEDS category. I had to get my heart checked out before, during and after pregnancy with both my boys as they were so worried about the strain it can put on you. So I can only imagine the fear you would have if you did have vEDS. I would never wish to pass it down to my kids. She most definitely is NTA! Edit: also even if she decided to adopt there is the fear of leaving her children without a mum if she passes away very young.
@@Mezza hey!!! it's so nice to meet a fellow EDSer (especially considering the disorder isn't THAT well known, so not many people know/are aware about it)! My mother was the first in the family to get diagnosed around the time I turned 8, so she never had to do any tests while pregnant with my sister or with me, but I honestly don't know how she did it. She had to get a c-section for my sister and our house flooded with sewage or something like- 3 days after I was born and I was an incredibly sick baby apparently, we had to get a doctor to come regularly and hit my back because I could breathe properly and she had to do it all as a single mother with no help and with EDS. I already have trouble imagining parenting a child as someone with EDS, but with all the added stuff with my mum, I have no idea how she managed. I hope you and your kids are doing well and that your EDS isn't causing you too much trouble :D
@@manuela. It's so true. As much as I agree with so many principles of "woke culture" (for lack of better words), especially as an AFAB neurodivergent biromantic non-binary person with EDS (yeah i'm the prime target for discrimination, I'm just happy that I don't have to deal with racism too because I'm white), destroying discrimination and making everyone equal is incredibly important, but some people just believe in that so much that they forget what the goal is, and then acknowledging everyone's differences and acknowledging the difficulties of every group because unfathomable to them and becomes on par with actual discrimination and inequality. and then, you get actual discriminatory people who paint us as these "extra-wokes" (idk what to call them lmao) to justify their points of view, the extra-wokes see us as actual discriminatory people and we get no closer to actually eliminating discrimination and inequality
The wedding one reminds me of my childhood. My step-mother was mad that my father had a marriage and children before her and made sure we always knew it. We never even knew they were getting married, until after it happened, and she was showing off the wedding photos in front of us. I'm old as Hell now, and it still hurts that my father was fine going along with it. That kind of thing is incredibly hurtful. If you aren't willing to accept someone's children, you shouldn't marry them. You should never make him (or her) choose.
I am so sorry...just reading this made my heart ache. Eventhough i have never been in such a situation, i can definitely understand how painful it be. You will feel like an unimportant person in your father's life.🙁 I dont know how people can be this self centered.
true. and also as child, it is a big glamorous event and youd surely want to go :(
I just wrote a comment asking what dad would not want their kids at theor wedding. I know now... So sorry it happened to you.
That woman who doesn't want her fiancée's kids at her wedding is literally Meredith Blake from Parent Trap
no fr shes giving evil stepmom trope
My most recent ex step mom didn't let my dad invite me (about 15 at the time) to their wedding, but had all 3 of her kids (1 18y/o adult, 2 teens 14 and 12) and her eldest's baby in attendance. (I'm 31 now)
@@beautyindarkness8146 that is plain horrible. So u never made the wedding? Her kids were the same age as you and all that is pure discrimination, she very much hates you is what I'm getting
I've seen some people defending Meredith Blake saying its alright to want to marry a man for his money, they are calling her ambitious.🤦🏿♀️
@@beautyindarkness8146 that is seriously cruel. I'm so sorry you had to go through that irl!
About the one being blamed for his mother's death, I wanna say
1. Your new stepmom is part of your family too whether your father likes it or not. You are absolutely in your right to strike a friendship with her and even open up to her because...
2. It's your story too. Asking you to hide it is asking you to deny your past, basically your entire life, which is absolutely unfair.
3. Just like he said he doesn't owe you anything after you turned 18, you certainly don't owe him the courtesy to maintain his good image.
P.S. I know the person asking is not gonna read this, I just needed to get it off my chest :)
plus i can't imagine she'd want to marry him knowing how he treated his son, especially since that child already had to grow up without a mother. mistreating children is a serious red flag, and it'd be wrong to lie by omission about what kind of man she's marrying. it'd be one thing if he told her himself and tried to move on from his mistakes, but straight-up asking his neglected son to lie for him seems like he's just trying to get a fresh start and never have to face repercussions for his actions
I hope someone who needs it read this
@@bumblerbree Exactly. And now she knows that if they were to have a child together and she died in childbirth, he'd treat their child like shit. She needed to know what kind of "parent" this man is so she knew not to have kids with him under any circumstances.
I remember the update on this one, not only she kicked his jerk father out and is going to the annulment route, but called him in tears apologizing cause she had no idea… the guy said they talked a few times and she’s a really nice person.
The stepmom left the dad after finding everything out. Not sure if she and OP will keep in touch. I'm sorry you can relate so much to this story.
It was so monumentally depressing that anyone, and I mean anyone, would find it bizarre for two family members, especially siblings, to tell each other, "I love you." I don't understand why telling someone how important they are, and showing them how much you care for them, is weird. Clearly the people that find this odd haven't lost someone close to them and understand how a person you care for can be gone in a second, meaning that it's important to remind them of just how much they are loved every chance you get.
Coming from a guy in that situation, his reluctance to say "I love you" comes off as the classic fake macho bullshit, where emotion is weakness. In actuality, I don't know anyone weaker than a man who is so afraid to face his own feelings (especially wonderful, loving human feelings) and views having natural human reactions as wrong. Get the fuck out of here with that regressive shit.
Me (16) my sister (20) and my brother (26) say "I love you" to each other Everytime we leave each other's house or a family event or whatever it may be. I agree with you. That story makes no sense,I mean are you not supposed to love your siblings? 😂
Lots of men try to act like emotions are a sign of weakness, but its stronger to face your emotions and express them rather than supressing them.
Yeah, it never even occurred to me that that would be considered weird
Even if you find it weird and awkward, that's okay, you don't have to do it. But why tell other people they're wrong because they express their familial love differently than you do?
@@16poetisa In this case, it would be a lack of expressing familial love, which was the issue. I've personally had a lot of similar experiences and have a lot of family who are the same, and it just frustrates me. My dad grew up not being told he was loved by his own parents because it wasn't deemed socially expected to so, which is something that he still feels the sting of in his older age. It was his mother-in-law that became the loving woman in his life when he married my mom, and it was this woman that told him she loved him when he couldn't rely on that same thing from his own mother.
And I run into this issue with guys all the time, where love can't be openly expressed as if by some biological rule, due to it not being manly to express feelings. Never had time for it. I've got guy friends who are like brothers to me, and I tell them I love them all the time because it's important for me to let them know just how much their presence means to me and my life, because I know they get discouraged by a lot of things in their own existence and it means a lot to hear someone say that to you. I look in the mirror every once in a while and I've not turned into a disfigured beast or transformed into a woman for saying "I love you" to other men, so it must be alright. XoXo
Ok, so according to the dad’s logic, from the second to last story, he himself is also responsible for her death by impregnating her. It’s such a ridiculous thought process, that maybe putting it this way would make him realize how absolutely nuts he sounds
(although maybe that’s why he’s been so hard on the son; he can’t come to terms with his own guilt over ‘killing’ his wife, so he takes it out on the innocent newborn child instead)
so true!!
exactly, you're allowed to grieve and feel sad about the death of your loved one but that doesn't excuse you or give you the right to act like a douche to your son (or anyone). Grief is not an excuse for someone's actions towards someone else when they are this shitty
he just didn't want to take the responsibility and raise a child
Imagine how disappointed the mother would have been if she knew how he treated their child.
Also like yeah okay you’re traumatized and you feel that way at first, no it’s not logical or good, but IQ drops when we’re in pain or scared. However, a true parent and adult would’ve realized like oh I need therapy, so I can be the best for myself my family and my kid, not remove my kid completely and expect them to respect me simply bc they’re my kid. Ugh people just suck.
I think wanting to be referred to as a "dr" by others close to you is kind of elitist. You want others to acknowledge how educated and intelligent you are which is fine as long as you don't force others to do it. It reminds me of Ross from friends, how he constantly put stress on "Dr" before his name. The point is in society, around your friends and family, the primary thing that matters is how you are as a person and not what you do for a living.
o.o
As someone who wants to work in academia one day someone calling me doctor would weird me out. So I agree
totally agree, different kind of thing to like respecting pronouns etc, preferring for people to call you by a prestigious job title is just arrogant
couldn't have said it better 👌
Exactly!! it just kinda makes someone look mega insecure as well. Like why do you need the people around you to reassure you that you’re intelligent? Are you trying to make people feel inferior to you to lift yourself up? What is it man?
I'm disabled and while eugenics and ableism exist, personally choosing to not have children to prevent suffering is neither of those things. People who want children need to always be prepared to have a disabled child, as anyone can become disabled at any time. But also chill out, OP just wanted to make an informed responsible decision.
In my experience, the doctors who require you to call them “Dr. Name” outside of a professional setting even when you’re somewhat familiar out of “respect” are also the same doctors who will discredit and sometimes even yell at competent nurse who are just trying to do their jobs.
really feels like it's only about the power trip with those type of people; they care more about the prestige and reputation that comes with holding the title of "Doctor" than they do about their actual job and the people they're supposed to work with and help.
Yeah, I had a professor who had a doctorates (not medical, but in research), and he asks not to be called doctor due to the people he’s met who let it go to their head. He doesn’t want to become one of them. Definitely a red flag when someone demands to be called by that tittle.
@@TT-nq5np I had the opposite. A professor that had two PhDs and forced students to call him Dr. Dr. "Name". He wasn't liked very much.
Yeah agreed, in my country lawyers also have dr with their name and in my experience only the lawyers who barely graduated get offended by leaving it out ever. I get where the dude is coming from But this would be a deal breaker for me, if he’s that sensitive about a professional title in his private life he has waaaay biggger issues he’s not willing to confront, the girl just haven’t seen them yet.
THIS
I was actually a lot like Esme (the nine year old girl) at that age. I was frequently self centered and I adored attention(more so I hated being ignored and I had separation anxiety). I would get jealous of other children when they got more attention than me. Most kids are like that. But at my dad’s wedding with my stepmother, I was overjoyed! I was on my best behavior because I love my dad and I really liked my soon to be step mom. My point is that if you want your stepchildren to behave, you got to build a positive relationship with them. Then maybe they’ll understand it’s not about them in that moment, but they still matter.
o.o
Also, its expected that kids are self centered, that whole “my actions effect others besides myself and I should care” thing doesn’t kick in until late teenhood (is that a word)
@@ayannabranchcomb7535 heh Technically it’s not, the word you were looking for was “adolescence”.
Agreed that it’s expected and understood that children are self-centred. Though, that self awareness and understanding of repercussions comes about from being taught. Children can learn to be more aware earlier than late adolescence.
@@checksanity true. But even when taught from a young age, the developmental understanding still comes from a self centered place which is completely normal. I teach 2 year olds and we tell them to be gentle with their hands because they can hurt their friends bodies, but they don’t fully understand what that means, they do understand the consequence that comes with hitting though, which is removal from that person/area/toy and they don’t like that 😂😂😂 either way, this lady is bonkers to think that a child should understand her emotions regarding her fiancé and his past life
adults need to realize kids are kids and wont and shouldnt have to behave like adults
im glad the "new" wife in the "dads horrible secret" learned that he's an asshole. You want a relationship? go to therapy and heal from losing your last partner and abusing your son.And be honest w the person you want to marry
Yeah, imagine that conversation. "Hey, I still hate you son and you're a murdering piece of shit that killed your mother, but can you PWEASE SAY NICE TINGS ABOUT MEEEEEE???"
i didn’t think my Sunday could get any better ✨
omg hi queen
omg heyy
omg heyyyyyyy love your vids
OMG UR HERE-
Omg hi keisha
dylan, buddy, i need you to stop with these sponsorship segways. it's literally so humiliating to fall for them every single time. i don't know how much more of this embarrassment i can take.
for real, I was waiting for the 'later on I learned the game was a scam and people are canceling me'
i love this comment so much lmfao cause same
Segue
Bro same, I thought it was gonna Segway into to the comment itself being an ad on the subreddit 💀💀
It was a pretty amazing segue!
I can't believe the person from the last story is still in a relationship with the doctor guy and didn't IMMEDIATELY get the ick and bail as soon as it became an issue. As a nurse I obvs work closely with doctors and a lot of the time they don't even want their patients to call them "Dr. [whatever]" let alone people in their personal lives!! Honestly gigantic red flag. Get out of there bestie.
I don't understand why parents kick out children..so many kids go missing every year! This is a big reason why
How is that even legal. In my country you are legaly reqired to także care of your child until their 18, you can't just throw them out.
21 even here in NL I believe
@@wodnikszuwarek3593 it’s not legal
I just don’t understand Churches and Christian’s who do this set a bad example for Christians I am sorry I am a Christian and I’m not like this.
May God bless you and your family and help you Give your life to Jesus Christ and repent. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray Amen.Jesus Christ loves you. Give your life to Jesus Christ and repent. He’s coming soon. Please pray and repent.
I remember reading that one about the dad giving the child up. There was an update and she divorced his ass. The kid felt bad for wrecking their marriage but the new wife was like nah you've saved me a lot of wasted time knowing what he was like. Good for her. Also i never thought at the time the guy is so devastated his wife died enough to disown and abuse his child but not enough to get married again? Dude needs some serious therapy but blame displacement. I remember people in the comments being like, by his logic how is it not his fault since he got her pregnant? I mean damn i know grief does mad shit to a person but yeesh.
Oop-...... PFFTTT 😂😂😂😂😂 I love the update. No Offense but I have no respect for anyone who blames their child for something like that. Low key, high key he deserves what he got, and good for her for noticing the red flags and leaving.
@@kimberleywilliams7802 oh absolutely!
I can’t even arm chair psychology this guy. Like the only reason I can think of is that he didn’t want to pay the expenses for a child. But even that doesn’t even make full sense. The dude is just crazy.
Answering your question about the girlfriend one where they were hiding her, Assuming she was actually telling the truth about the crazy ex, I can confirm that was probably the best option that girl had (though she REALLY should have contributed to the household and been a better roommate if she wanted to keep that option available to herself.)
Reason being that law enforcement is NOTORIOUS for not doing anything about stalkers and crazy exes and, through their inaction, letting the women get murdered.
But again....that also depends on the woman telling the truth about how crazy this dude is
exactly! heard a story recently where a girl's ex would find her every time she left and even tried run her over when he found her. her mom got frequent visits from said ex. this ex literally only left the mom alone once he'd been through the entire house. She ended up staying in a different town with a new friend for 6 months. She was so lost that she barely did anything and this friend and her husband ended up becoming parents to her. She was very fortunate in the end. But it took her a LONG time and many attempts to get away. And to this day she's weary revealing her or her family's identity out of fear he'll come after her. Because he has threatened to kill them. And because the law requires people to be informed of charges that are made against them, it's super unsafe to do anything other than 'inform' the police that something is happening. But until you press charges, the police can do jack shit.
Yeah definitely agree, it was the best option, but he was also NTA imo. I wouldn’t be able to deal with someone disrespecting my place like it seemed she was doing. I wouldn’t mind having someone stay that long as long as they were a half decent roommate.
From what I read on her Reddit profile, she was the crazy one or they were both equally crazy, since the girl was super disrespectful to her friends and, if I remember correctly, owed one of her friends like 500$ or something for the things she trashed at her house but she didn't want to pay it because "She didn't need them" (Referring to the things she threw in the trash.)
@@Kikkarlin Even if you press charges, the police often don't pursue cases like this
@@MovieCampCounselor very true! Its terrible
The girl who doesn't want the kids at the wedding is 100% TA. I can't imagine what she's like with the kids outside of the wedding situation. Calling his kids basically "attention hogs" sounds like she's jealous and immature. She should be embracing his kids and excited to have the special day with all of them together. I don't see that marriage ending well.
This is why people should think carefully before even dating someone with kids. I don't date guys like that purposely because I know I'm not ready to be a step mom.
Like adopting its not for everyone in every stage of their life
What does TA mean? But yeah, she shouldn't be marrying him if she doesn't like the kids. Also, who is jealous of children? Very pathetic.
child-free wedding ✅
child-free wedding when they’re basically your own children ❌🚩
@@katet8639 TA means the asshole
also her age really gives it for me she is 24 and he is 32 24 is still before your brain fully emotionally develops and i think she should be with someone closer to her age
The story about the dad refusing to accept his own son is really messed up. Imagine losing your wife in a really tragic way and them refusing acknowledge basically the only real connection you still have with her.
I'm glad his son told the new wife about what his father did to me because a man like that has some issues. What if his new wife ended up dying in childbirth as well? Does that mean he'll have two children that he'll scar and refuse to acknowledge because of something they didn't directly cause? As much as I want to acknowledge his grief, someone like that shouldn't just get to move on without even trying to make amends with his son.
Again, great video, Dylan. I did lose it at the sponsorship bit 😅
It was so unexpected and aggravating when I finally caught on but other than that, I loved it.
This first story is literally horrible… I was kicked out of my house weeks before I turned eighteen to go live with my same sex partner and her family bc my religious family “couldn’t bear to let me live in their house with my sin” after I came out. Yes. There is far too much hypocrisy in Christianity. I’m on better terms with my dad, but I’ve hardly talked to my grandparents or my mom since I left. They are constantly making fun of my chosen family and calling my girlfriend a pig. It’s ridiculous. I related to this one a little too much. That leads me to say, your videos have been so comforting for me in these trying times. Thank you Dylan!
Also, buttoning the top button is definitely making this fit 10x worse
Christian here. Yikes, that's terrible. And calling your partner a pig as well... wow. That's just hateful. Hope you are doing alright now!
You had me til the last line lol.
And this is why domestic abuse abuse among same sex couples is high - because many gay people have no familial support and are vulnerable and will stay in abusive relationships either out of financial necessity or perceived emotional necessity.
@@MovieCampCounselor unfortunately, this is true. This is why we need education on LGBTQ so that they can have more direction on topics like this.
hypocrisy where, just because some christians can be does not mean the whole entire religion is
People get so weirded out by siblings who are close. I'm super close with my brothers, but people act like it's strange that we say we love each other, hug eachother, and we spend as much time with eachother as we do our significant others. My brothers first gf thought it suspicious and got jealous. It was bizarre.
All the only childs who have no idea how it feels to have a sibling...
@@traumer9622 Awww you mentioned me
Agreed. Although Idk if sisters are different than brothers or sister and brother. My sister and I are super close and when she leaves home after a visit, I always walk her out to her car and hug her bye.
@@faiththomas6137 This is usually only an issue with different gender siblings. Close Sister-Sister and Brother-Brother are more normalized than different gender ones.
Yeah I get siblings being close but I remember seeing a story on that sub where a brother and sister decided to spoon with each other in the same bed to sleep when the brother could’ve stayed in the guest room. The sister couldn’t understand why her boyfriend was upset when he came home in the morning to find them cuddling. I get being close but some people just take it a lil too far 😂😅
No way! My mom's a doctor, she has so many friends who are doctors. NO ONE ever calls them "Dr" unless in a professional setting. He really does sound like a narcissist.
What’s the bet he isn’t a medical Dr, but a Dr of philosophy or something 🤔😂
The soon-to-be-step-mom one hit hard. My stepfather had that mindset of him and my mother being separate entities to us 3 as a family unit. They married when I was 6 and since then the man attempted to make my life a misery as he felt my mother loved me more than him, and dislike the reminder that my mother had been previously married. Eventually they had my half-brother. But then it was worse because the exclusion and lack of love from my step-father became even more obvious to child-me. If you are marrying someone with kids, you need to be prepared mentally and emotionally for the fact that the kids are a part of that new family unit. Being jealous & competing with someone's CHILDREN is ridiculous and immature - if you cannot handle that fact then you are not ready to marry someone who already has children.
For the not wanting to create a child knowing that they will have issues story: I am disabled and some of what is wrong has a strong genetic link. As in research has shown that the conditions do pass on to off spring although they haven't determined the exact likely hood. They do know that it is likely to be given to the kid (so more than a 49% chance). Putting aside the toll of child birth and my own feelings on babies, I would never have my own child due to it being unethical. My conditions aren't even on the level of the one OP might carry either and I still find it unethical to pass on those issues.
There is nothing ablest about wanting to avoid creating a human you know will suffer. If anything it is more ablest to force a child who you know will be disabled to be born. Being disabled sucks and to force that on someone isn't cool. It is also different from a parent who won't accept that their child is disabled and forces them to live like an abled kid.
That being said, choosing not to for ethical reasons is different from forcing others to be sterile and unable to choose for themselves what they want to do. That is eugenics and isn't cool
!
I think it's weird he wants people in his personal life to call him Dr.Whoever, but I would think they would've respected his decision more if he didnt start it after already knowing them for MONTHS. How awkward to out of no where come into your girlfriends parents house like "Actually, its DOCTOR boyfriend to you." Sounds like an asshole to me
The job of older people is to be mature and the bigger person then the younger people, so if the parents do things knowing it would start a fight they would still be in the wrong even if the boyfriend is an ass. Adults don't really get the childish excuse with "But he started it".
@@CruiserDynasty as ideal as it would be, age doesn't always equate to maturity. And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that *doctor* boyfriend is an adult too, if anything he needs to chill.
I have family relatives (aunts) who are doctors, but I don't call them "Dr. so-and-so". I call them "Aunt (name)". OP's family just wants the guy to feel like he's part of the family, that's why they call him by his first name. There's nothing disrespectful about family calling younger relatives by their first name.
@@CruiserDynasty the doctor is also an adult...
@@southchild_ You could have said nothing and everyone would still have the same information.
20:25 Giving up the child is one thing, it could be you understanding that you aren’t in a good place and having someone available who can give your child the love they need to have a healthy life. I’d raised my nieces nephews without hesitation if something prevented their parents from being able to do, the assholishness is what came after and that continued for years. You can’t help if you feel grief or even bitterness towards the child over losing a partner to child birth, but blaming that child to their face and then continuously for years makes you a monster.
As someone who's had two genetic conditions passed on from relatives, the person deciding not to have kids is NOT an asshole. My conditions (joint and blood) make it incredibly hard to do "normal people" things, that open up a variety of difficulties that will not only decrease my quality of life, but also possibly life expectancy. Considering not to have kids is a super responsible choice, not only in regards to their health and possible conditions, but also the capabilities of the parents. If OP has a medical condition like EDS, then they might not be able to provide the complete and proper care a child needs, no matter how much they love their kid and try their hardest.
Im still debating if I want bio kids when I grow up. On one hand I want the experience of carrying a child, on the other I don't want my child to inherit my disease.
I also think it's different because it's not like she was already pregnant. I'm extremely pro choice but i'd side-eye her a little bit more if she was already into her pregnancy, found out her fetus has a disability/genetic condition, and then went "actually i don't want it anymore". But the fact that she was being proactive and responsible in doing all her research first before making her decision, i think makes it unfair how hard her friend came down on her. I just think its a weird reaction to be like "how dare you not want to have kids for X reason" in literally any situation, like you're a sh00ter for a person that doesn't even exist yet?? it's ultimately the baby-carrier's decision to make.
She's not actively discriminating against a living disabled person, and i understand how it might feel like an attack to her friend but ultimately it's just not the same as Eugenicists trying to weed out the "bad genes". If this person lives in the USA, think of the medical bills if their child ends up being born with that condition, not everyone is equipped to deal with that, plain and simple.
Personally i also wont be having kids of my own because depression and anxiety runs in both sides of my family (literally every member suffering from one or both to varying degrees) and i don't want to pass it on if i don't have to.
Yeah, like I have autism and adhd and no matter what if I have the choose, I won’t have biological kids because I can neither take care of them nor do I wish them the same life as me. If cannot assure they have a happy life, then I prefer not to have anything
i teared at the first story bc i'm in the brother's shoes rn and idk if i can even trust my own siblings. also, why tf are the CHILDREN supposed to be "the bigger person" and not the parents. its always "why cant you forgive them?", instead of "why cant you accept me?"
Yeah, it’s p messed up that the couldn’t who have been neglected, abused, or kicked out solely for who they are have to forgive the people who made their lives so unbearable and miserable to live.
I think it's so disrespectful of his sister to say those things. He doesn't need her or his parents in his life. I hope he is able to have a long and happy life.
The one about the dad who’d disowned his kid for “killing” the mother in birth. I’d go back to him with “if you loved my mother so much then why are you remarrying. Real love doesn’t end when death does you part.” These types of people sicken me.
I’m a firm believer that if someone wants you to refer to them as a certain pronoun or chosen name, then you should respect their wishes, it’s just common decency. *That being said,* if some douche-canoe started getting into a verbal fight with me in order to get me to call them by their professional title exclusively, I’d go outta my way to come up with the most stupid nickname possible for them and use it excessively, for the rest of time.
Same! It depends on the intentions for me. A different pronoun or name to make them more comfortable, sure! A formal, professional title in a casual setting that implies we're not equals... nope
o.o
Be my bestie pleasee😁
agreed
Yes for example my friends name is jasmine and back home in California she grew up being called Jasmine but in college she’s gone by Ki’Amber and introduces herself as such same with my friend dj obviously Thts not on his birth certificate but it’s wat he wants to be called so me going out of my way to call them by their first names is just rude especially after they expresses distaste. However if I didn’t feel comfortable referring to them as such I wouldn’t then I believe it’s up to one of us to either let it go or if it’s tht important stop talking to each other
That girl with vEDS hit me hard. I have another variation: hEDS, it’s no where near as deadly but it’s still regulated me to a life time of pain. I made the same decision as her a couple years ago. I’m only 16, and I am rock solid in my decision. As a disabled person, it isn’t ableist to want a pain free life for your kid. I don’t want my future kids to have to have 4-5 surgeries that I had to, and miss out on as much of my childhood as I did.
Not to mention giving birth with EDS can be incredibly dangerous too, some people with EDS’s bodies are just too weak for it.
That women’s idea of ableism in completely misplaced.
Getting rid of ableism is not about shaming disabled people trying not to pass on genetic conditions, it’s about equality, equity and treating everyone well and acknowledging that everyone has different needs and circumstances as Dylan said.
I came to comment exactly this, I also have hEDS. There is a girl on tiktok with a worse type currently on the road to euthanisation bc of how terrible her chronic pain is. Similarly, my aunt and uncle never had children because she was worried about passing on the Huntington’s gene (a horrific disease). None of those things are eugenics.
agreed with this, my mother had EDS as well and i most likely do too
I had the exact same thought about someone with vEDS giving birth and how dangerous that could be. I personally haven't experienced it in anyone I know but know about dermatosporaxis (Ehlers-Danlos-like Syndrome) in dogs and that is a challenge to manage. I respect everyone's decisions here and there is so much more to the conversation than being ableist.
@@carys7417 oh my..so the tiktoker... Is she gone?
And I agree with the op
The post about the father who blamed his son for "killing" his mother, I have seen this post elsewhere as well, and I have always thought it was because he never wanted to raise a child anyway, and was going to saddle the wife with all the hard work while he went out and did only fun stuff with the kid, thus getting the credit of parenting, and now he doesn't have that option. The whole thing just has the vibe of "So I have to do all this stuff I don't want and I am not even getting anything out of it? Like I don't even have a woman to take care of me, AND I have to take care of someone else? So unfair!!" As proved by the fact that he gave away the son to his sister.
His new fiance should get a hint about how she could expect to be treated. He just probably wants this woman to pamper him.
The step mom wedding one definitely brought back some awful memories ; my "step-mom" (my dad and her weren't married) always treated me pretty badly, to the point where neighbours and friends were weirded oud by how whe treated me in comparison to my brother and her own kid. I look a lot like my mom while my brother looks much more like my dad, so I've always wondered if that was one of the reasons.
Yeah the step-parent issue is sadly a very common experience, though the severity of it changes. My step-dad wasn’t a terrible step-parent, but he definitely experiences that jealousy a lot of step-parents have for their spouses kid. He gets irritable whenever my mom and I spend the day together or even work on a chore together. I’m an adult and this still happens. A kid shouldn’t feel guilty about wanting to spend time/ talk to their mom.
Me too, it felt very similar to my experience with my mom’s ex wife and my dad’s girlfriend. My mom’s ex wife knew me since I was four but never wanted to be a parent to me or saw me as part of her family. She would yell at my mom asking if my mom loved me more than her (wtf), hence why they’re no longer married. My dad’s girlfriend was vocal about the fact that she never wanted to be a parent either and hated my mom’s ex wife because of how she treated me, but when I was in high school, did the exact same shit and caused me to move out of my dad’s house on bad terms. I’m nineteen now and I’ve tried making amends with her but it’s seemingly something she has no interest in.
My mum is like the opposite, literally loves my step-siblings does everything in her power to make them happy but is not always accepting of the fact she still has her own children and needs to take care of them, especially the older ones we've been a little neglected
same with mine, so fucking furious at that woman.
Me too! My stepmother was very nasty to me. It was so bad that her friends had to step in a few times. I also look a lot like my mother and my stepmom always envied her (my mothers gorgeous and my stepmom just isn’t lmao) as a kid I would always hear her talking about the clothes my mother wore which was ironic because my stepmom was a stripper and regularly wore less. But somehow my mother was a whore for wearing tight jeans or a bikini 💀 I think they act that way out of jealousy and insecurity, so I can kinda sympathize but she made my childhood hell
For the guy being weirded out by his gf saying “I love you” to her brother story and the brother giving a thumbs up back: That’s just how little brothers are??? 😭😭😭 I’m an older sister and I tell my younger brother I love him all the time, and half the time he says “thanks” or mumbles “I love you too” back - that’s literally normal.
yeah ikr i was like, b-but that's the normal response. I would be weirded out if my twin brother replied to anything I said enthusiastically. Also as someone who also can't muster up words of affirmation, i can totally understand the brother not being able to reply properly, dang i struggle with telling my mom i love her so yeah...that dude is just weird
My brother says "thanks me too"
Aww how cute 😭
This is all so interesting to learn because in my family, saying I love you is very easy, I tell my parents and older sister I love them a lot. My older sister isn't much of a hugger but she does comfort me and show her support for me a lot in different ways. Maybe it's because my parents had girls? Idk.
My sister says "eeeww disgusting" and then she'll join me in my bed.
I feel like the gaming situation is more nuanced: if both players know how to play a game, then yes try, and go beat them! But if one player is just interested in what you do and pretty much never played the game then do a fun little easy game with them, while they get the hang out of it and try to help them to score! You can still win but maybe 10:5 would be more fun for everyone. Nuking them with a 28:0 is just a terrible way of showing off, we get it, you won a game you've been playing since you crawled out of the womb against someone who pretty much never had a controller in the hand
I agree with this but it's way more childish to get mad over it either way.
@@xvgm24 The narrator was likely unreliable, sounds like he was probably very condescending while playing, he did mention that he told her THREE times that she had no chance. She is an adult and can understand the first time.
@@waitwhat7354 Maybe because he knew she would throw a fit if she lost, and just wanted to avoid it. Either of these are just speculations, so all we can really go with is what was written.
i agree.
@@waitwhat7354 It sounded to me like he thought she didn't believe him that she had no chance, he REALLY needed to show her and might have trash-talked her like "Oh you see, you got no chance". If she just wanted to play to try his interest and he wanted to demolish her to teach her a lesson then I would never speak to that person either xD.
As a medical student in his first year of studies, i would be absolutely horrified if my family members, or family of people I would be dating, keep calling me Doctor the moment I graduate. Like, I'm only a doctor from 8-5, after that I'm just a dude who wants some peace and quiet.
I agree with your comment except the 8-5 part, you are thinking of bankers, not doctors lol ;) Get yourself ready for some 6am-10pm shifts etc :)
good luck man
@@msfeistybabe to be fair, they might be planning on becoming a general practitioner which is usually more regular hours
@@displayname9538 That's true but not until they get their own practice or work with someone at a set practice. Before that it's chaotic hours, and that's mostly what I referred to, right after they graduate ;) I wouldn't want that job for anything but respect most of those that take it!! Just not the ones that are only out for the money or the chance to be called Doctor every second lol
What kind've field are you going into where your doctor hours are 8-5??
I think the Dr. story tells way more than just the guy being a bit egocentric and wanting to be recognized for his work profession.
To me, asking people to call you by your professional name is really.. cold. In a professionnal setting, people call you by your profession OR mr. Miss. Mme. Etc.. and so its a really distant way of calling other people. The boyfriend asking his girlfriend's family to put Dr before his name sounds like he doesnt see them as people close to him. In my eyes it goes deeper than just wanting to be respected as a Doctor. He said he will only allow it if the girlfriend and him get married, but like.. wouldnt you want to be close with your girlfriend's friends and family before then? Why does he want to distance himself from her "circle" ? It's also really strange that he's annoyed that they treat him comfortably, like friends and family are supposed to do...
o.o
Seriously though, shouldn't he be happy that his gf's family and friends feel comfortable around him enough to speak to him in an informal and casual way?
I mean, I've been in relationships where I literally wouldn't see my gf's family at all. Even with the most vile and abhorrent people: when they are your parents it's harder to reject them I guess
@@Trisnice I don’t understand your point… are we talking about the same story? Because if not your point is irrelevant to the story we are discussing. The boyfriend is part of the gf’s life and both are part of her parents and friend’s lives. So.. there’s really no point in discussing a world where that would not be the case 😅
@@yoonminonice4562 Just because he sees them doesn't mean he doesn't have problems or likes them at all. My point was more to answer "wouldnt you want to be close with your girlfriend's friends and family before then? Why does he want to distance himself from her "circle" ?" Perhaps he has problems with them and that's why he'll see them to make the gf happy but nothing more.
The last dude, Dr Boyfriend, while being an obvious narcissistic douche canoe, is justified in standing firm on how he's addressed. It's your boyfriend, you have to respect what he chooses to be called, he's definitely entitled to be addressed with his chosen title. If you're going to choose to be with someone, you should respect the way they choose to be addressed, just as you should respect all of your SO's wishes and they should respect yours, but if they're bat shit and you think their wishes are ridiculous, it's probably time to revaluate your relationship.
I mean, do you really want to be with someone who insists on be called "doctor" in personal settings, even by their extended family? That's revealing way more than just a personal preference in titles, it's not as inane as that. If someone INSISTS on reverence to the point of arguing with their SO's family over it, their self importance and reality aren't aligning. He's entitled to choose his title, but she's just as she's entitled to choose a new boyfriend.
EXACTLY! Sure the guy can insist to be called by his job title off duty but why would anyone sane even date that sort of self-aggrandising nut-job ?
I agree with most of what you've said, but from what is mentioned, he doesn't know his gf's family very well, so wanting the conversations to be less personal at first seems reasonable, and he did mention that once the gf and him get married they can start referring to him by his first name.
@@gunforall6247that's like the key way to start off bad in a relationship lol. They are officially girlfriend and boyfriend. Sure they haven't legally committed yet, but the fact that he even brought up marriage means they were at least serious enough. The goal of meeting your partner's family is to build a relationship, not drive wedges and barriers loool
Completely agree
The doctor one annoys me because it absolutely feels like a power thing. A friend like that isn't a friend at all because they're placing a professional border between us as well as making themselves the authority. I can understand it only when you are strangers, just as people refer to others by Mr or Ms when they don't know them, but that fact also makes it so obvious how out of place the title is amongst friends and family
i would not be capable of not laughing in the persons face if someone insisted i call them "dr. justin" in a purely social setting. its so laughable and insane to me, which is how i feel about like 75% of AITAs to the point that i really struggle to believe many of them are true
totally agree that many may be fake but I do know people like the dr one in real life
That sponsorship actually caught me off guard, well done Dylan. Well done.
Right, I was really impressed by it lol
i was raised every other week by my dad’s wife and him. She was and is exactly like how that woman sounds, which resulted in me and my sibling being emotionally neglected. We both now struggle with childhood trauma…
Never marry someone without also acknowledging that you are in fact now also their child(ren)’s parent, and don’t think about your relationship as a spouse, but as a family where the kids are accounted into most, if not every, decisions. It hurts to see your parent go on summer vacation every year without ever taking you with. Or when they go to the cinema every other week, but never get you a proper bed so you just end up sleeping on a mattress for 8 years when you’re at their place, because they “don’t have the money”.
Sadly. . Your dad seems most to blame here. My dad is the same and step mom is so mean but I am more upset with him for allowing it and being g her slave dispite it hurting me
o.o
I blame the parent more in those situations. When you have kids you need to put them first, and if you want to marry again you need to make sure the person you chose will accept your kids and treat them well.
I'm so sorry your father put you through that, I'm a step parent, and when I got married SD was included, because she's part of my spouse's family and now mine, sure she was super cute and got some attention but so did I and my wife, I think it's important to have couple things, ie when the kids are with their other parent you have a date night or just hang together but a wedding is a family affair. balance is important but going into it thinking that a 9 y/o is a attention hog screams. 🚩🚩🚩
Dylan has a brother?! I get so shocked whenever he just casually mentions random facts about his personal life while telling us about something, it always suddenly hits me with the "Oh right, he is real person and not some internet entity" feeling..
I knew bc he has mentioned his brother before. But doesn't talk a lot about his family or his personal life.. so I get it.
I think he also mentioned having a sister too lmao
You can see his family in one of his older videos about celebrtating Christmas with the family
@@stuffwithsoph8264 yeah, the one I remember him mentioning her is the gossip girl video. He mentioned that his sister watched it on his netflix acc.
" giving up your child because your wife died in child labour " CHILD LABOUR 😭😭😭😭😭😭
It’s weird that the dude asking to be called “Dr.” every single time is comfortable enough with her family to pick fights with them but not comfortable enough to be called by his first name. He doesn’t seem to be very humble, but maybe he has a logical reason for wanting to be called that. The way he tries to get his point across comes off as aggressive though, so he shouldn’t expect anyone to be receptive of it.
Some people are more willing to defend their wishes than others, so it doesn't really mean he's comfortable with them (Which might be why he doesn't want them referring to him as only his first name.) It's understandable to be frustrated and more aggressive when your gf's family is repeatedly disrespecting your wishes and she isn't doing anything about it.
@@gunforall6247 are you being serious?
@@lunali7209 There's no reason why I wouldn't be.
I was thinking it may be because of where he is from? If he is from Asia they have different ways of adressing you depending on how well you know them. My bf's family has something similar with status and how i adress them at home vs out in public, also depending on age, (but they also explained it to me so i could understand it beforehand). Just a thought, dont know it it makes complete sence but i am sleepy while writing this :P
@@astridhaugen8514 wow that’s really interesting! And that helps me to be more understanding. Thank you for sharing that 😊
as someone who’s dad got remarried to a woman who didn’t/doesn’t accept my siblings and i, the trauma this caused me has left permanent damages. i was 8 when he got remarried. not much younger than the daughter in the scenario. when they were dating, my stepmom referred to me as a diva, brat, and a conniving manipulator. she had/has a strong dislike of me since i was a child. years later, when i was living with them, my stepmom referred to us as his children instead of our children. she has children of her own and always treated her children better. this continued into my teenage years and i academically and artistically out performed my step siblings. i was accused of being a show off and “purposely trying to humiliate” my step siblings. her daughter and i are very close in age (9 months difference) and her daughter would accuse me of various indiscretions from minor things (rude comments) to major incidents (stealing/physical attacks). my stepmom would run to my dad about these accusations and when confronted, i would tell the truth but in the end, i never received justice and has painted to be a habitual liar. i became the scapegoat and “whipping boy” for my siblings’ transgressions and placed on permanent grounding/house arrest for 2 years. i was not allowed to have friends. my room, media/devices/phone records were searched and monitored, and my stepmom paid my therapist to tell her what i was saying during sessions. i was reduced to bare basics. these events came to a head when i was 15 and my stepmom and i got into a major argument. i am typically very passive but i finally stood up for myself and called her out. she was accusing me of being a whore and sneaking people into the house when in fact my stepsister was sneaking people in. my stepmom stormed out after issuing an ultimatum to my dad to pick between kicking me (in her words, “that bitch”) out of the house or their marriage. my parents gathered a family meeting and my stepmom convinced my siblings (both biological and step) to vote to kick me out. i was told i was no longer a part of the family and that they didn’t love me anymore. i had a week to pack my belongings before moving 1,500+ miles away to my mothers. they cut all contact for years and any communication i attempted with my siblings were blocked. after i left, my stepsister became the scapegoat then my older brother, then my younger sister. each were subsequently kicked out. they have come around to apologizing after. however, the sense of betrayal and hurt will last a life time. my dad is a passive man and he is still married to her. despite failing to protect and defend me, i still love him. i’ve been able to become civil with my stepmom. however, in my adult years, we are barely in contact. not saying that this is how all blended family situations happen but i am a victim of a woman like this. don’t marry someone you are willing to accept everything that comes with them.
Oh my goodness, that sounds so horrible I can't imagine what it must have been like for you. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Thank you for sharing and hope that you're doing much better now❤
for one thing, obviously fuck your stepmom for that abusive treatment, but wow, double fuck your dad for permitting it. A parent who refuses to protect their children is just as culpable in my eyes. It has to hurt to still love him despite that. Still loving the enabling parent is something I relate to deeply. They're much harder to be as upset with.
7:00 also being incompetent when you're just not is HARD. I was once playing with my 6yo brother and I won a bunch of times and I could sense he was getting upset, so I tried to let him win. Did NOT work. Bro lost and cried
When you plan to marry someone that already has kids you have to understand that it's a package deal.
The whole “Dr. “ conversation is a big deal in the weddit community especially in regards to what a couple should be referred to during their entrance if one or both of them are medical or phd doctors. For me it just feels too snobbish and especially working in the medical field even the seasoned doctors I know go by their first name in conversation rather than “Dr.”
o.o
Yeah he was definitely that one Gunner whose whole life is centered around being a physician. I could understand asking nurses and admin to use Dr. in the work environment (despite sounding super snobby) but requiring to be called a title in your everyday interactions just shows to me that he thinks he's above the people he's interacting with because of his job.
I tell my sibling I love them and they never say it back. They have always been like that even with my parents. It's not weird they just don't like expressing their feelings.
Imagine having a child and their boyfriend insist that you call them Doctor. I would laugh so hard.
That advertisement was so well done that I just sat there getting invested thinking it was an actual story
On the topic of “AITA for not having kids” I always knew from when I was little that I never wanted to have children because that almost guaranteed that they’d have the same genetically transferred issues I got from my parents (nothing as serious as vEDS, but just things that generally made life scarier) and I would never want to have a child who went through the things I did, and I don’t think it’s ableist.
How does he look entirely different in like 3 days? Let's research the power facial hair holds
i’m guessing he filmed this before the last video because his hair is longer here 🤪
@@mayajanaeee probably...ig my brain stopped functioning when I saw his notification😭
I feel like most people would find it weird to keep referring to someone as doctor after meeting them a couple of times. Sure if they correct you the first time alright but after multiple times of meeting that person you move past the titles because it’s normal to be relaxed in front of someone you know
But shouldn’t that be up to him? It sounds like they never respected his wishes in being called dr. In the first place? Wouldn’t that get annoying if you asked someone to call you be a specific name and the continually didn’t just because they felt they shouldn’t have to
@@iamamoore6944 but according to other people no other doctor does this and this doctor just seems stuck up honestly. in casual convos no they donlt need to call him doctor
That would be like saying “the older people I know don’t want to be called ma’am/ sir so you shouldn’t want me to call you ma’am/ sir.” When yes some people see it as “showing their age” while others see it as a sign of respect. If someone specifically asks you to call them by something specific it doesn’t hurt to try.
@@iamamoore6944 His wishes are moronic and rude, they are the parents of his girlfriend, not his patients.
If someone just wants to be know for their profession, they must be really lacking in personality. Your job is what you do, not who you are.
As a practicing Christian, I can say that loving others is the CORE teaching of our religion! I hope that kid who got disowned by his parents cuz they were “religious” is leading a good life
Ok so as a disabled person myself I think that it's fine to decide not to have kids because you're disabled, but when other people start telling you that you shouldn't have kids and try to make that decision for you, that is ableism on their part.
Exactly
She’s actually being a good person,making sure she do3snt pass it on,shows she cares
the way dylan slides in his brand deals just make me laugh out loud like so smooth 😂😂
that one actually got me
STOP THAT WAS SO FUNNY LMFAO
that was so smooth, I'm still not over it, I didn't see it coming 💀
Right I was so confused then realized what he was doing LMAOOOOO 😭😭😭
My mouth dropped to the floor, lol I couldn't believe it!
he does his sponsorships SO SMOOTHLY i love it.
There's a study done with rats that is relevant to the gf gaming story. When they studied rats wrestling larger rats would invariably beat smaller rats most of the time, given their ‘pinning’ game was very body weight dependent. But when larger rats would not let smaller rats win once in a while ( around 30% of the time), the smaller rats would stop playing with them. They no longer wanted to play when it was impossible for them to win, they were fine with losing most of the time, as long as there was a chance they could win.
I have a feeling that when Dylan edits 85% of the time is spent in laughing at his own jokes and his own edits. His editing skills are getting out of this world good. He must’ve patted himself in the back after the Saw bit, for sure.
oh 100% and the Boo and Randal part sureeely!
wanting people you're acquainted with on a non-professional social basis to refer to you as doctor is so strange lmao it creates a weird power dynamic and kinda makes it seem like he thinks he's above them like???
o.o
"So you don't want the kids to be a reminder... that the kids exist." LMFAO
The way I ducking laughed out loud with the sponsor 😂
He sure makes it fun not like other RUclipsrs
I'd love to see Dylan create outfits with the clothes he already has so he has another excuse to not go shopping.
imagine him doing DIYs just to avoid shopping
@@dansara5933 boom, video idea, too bad Dylan don't take recommendations
When I play with unskilled people, I try to makes sure they have fun, if they win or lose, it was a fun match. I try to save the competition mindset for competitions.
Was literally just binging Dylan’s old videos, I’m so glad he’s uploading more regularly
Omg same
i have ehlers danlos syndrome and i have been said that same story before... not only do i not want to give any biological children the gene cause of how much suffering they would have to go through but also just how many complications there would be during pregnancy! there is a huge difference between ableism and not wanting your own child to suffer
i have elhers danlos syndrome and am also currently getting tested for the vEDS gene and i completely understand not wanting to pass it on. EDS is a really tough disease and vEDS specifically can cut your lifespan in half, completely with her on not wanting to pass it on.
There’s nothing like being early to a Dylan video, especially Ooga Booga because this channel feels like an inside joke
It is weird that he wants to be called 'dr.' by everyone, cause doctors generally don't and one of the simple reasons for that is that they don't want everyone to bother them with their minor (or major) medical issues.
yes exactly. My mom is a pediatrician and adolescent counselor and everyone in my family see it as a prideful thing (yes we are an asian family) so they will mention it to anyone who asks. But then my mom gets fed up by it sometimes because no matter the problem, every relative of ours ever to have existed (and we have many) will reach out to my mother for a medical opinion even though she is not their physician and has no first hand knowledge of their medical history and is a pediatrician and shouldn't technically be catering to adults because medicine is vastly different for children as compared to adults. My NEVER wants to emphasize her profession in social settings and also because she doesn't want to appear as an entitled person
Exactly!
Even weirder that he wants to be called "Doctor FirstName" not "Doctor LastName". That's not even a socially normal thing outside maybe your own personal GP or a paediatrician.
When you started reading the 2nd post I said out loud “is the post a sponsored ad for the game?” And then laughed out loud at the transition. LOVED it
I agree with Dylan on all of these. As for the "Dr" story, it took me a moment to wrap my head around it. If it was a first name or nickname or pronoun, sure respect it. Seeing as it's a title, I'm less likely to think its justified. I don't always remember what my friends or family do for work, but i remember their names. To get hostile over it shows the problem is more with him. If he expects the courtesy but doesn't give the courtesy for those who don't want to use it, then he is the one with the problem.
My uncle is a double doctor (Medical and PhD) and from what he's told me, most doctors prefer to not be referred to as "Doctor [name]" outside of their work. In fact, sometimes when you get high up enough in the medical ladder, you drop the Doctor from your name completely, even in professional contexts. From the sound of it, this guy is either a straight up narcissist who thinks he's better than his gf's family or a big headed recent graduate who wants the ego boost. Definitely a yikes.
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (your pronunciation was totally fine by the way) and I completely understand why the poster would decide not to have bio children, especially with vascular type which does have a much higher chance of death from complications like spontaneous aortic dissection. I have hypermobile type which has a lower chance of early death but still severely impairs quality of life. I am in pain all of the time and have numerous health issues related to it. I’ve always been really maternal and always wanted to be a mom but I’ve decided not to have kids because I personally feel that it would be irresponsible to pass this pain onto them knowingly. Hypermobile type has no genetic test so there is no chance of testing for the markers in the womb and pregnancy would probably wreck my body anyway. It’s a hard enough decision to make without people feeling entitled to tell you that you’re wrong.
The whole not calling him doctor thing sounds like a power trip to me. Wants to make sure everyone knows he is intelligent and hardworking and above them in society. I hate it
NTA- i would get it if he went by a certain name or nickname like wanting to be called nick instead of james, but wanting to be called “dr.” by your girlfriend’s family is definitely giving narcissism. and picking fights about it is just so fucking over the top
The boyfriend being weirded out by her saying she loves her brother was so bizarre, I'm not a very affectionate person so when my family says they love me I also kind of reply awkwardly, I don't have a problem with it but expressing love is not my kind of thing and it sounds like the brother is like that too. So weird that the boyfriend thought that meant he was uncomfortable
Hey - Daughter of divorced and remarried sets of parents (with an incredibly positive relationship with my step-mother) here.
I don't 100% agree that this step-mum to be was *completely* in the wrong for wanting to have the day be all about her - probably because of my experience as the child in a similar scenario!
The age gaps are similar between my dad and stepmum as in the post (married at 27f and 36m, us kids were 11f and 10f).
On their wedding day, us kids were not super involved in the wedding.
For the ceremony, we greeted my step-mum first before she walked down the aisle for a hug, and then actually sat a few rows back with our cousins. For the reception, we were seated with the fun aunts and uncles rather than at the head table with our dad and the bridal party - we left after the main events with grandparents. Us kids were mentioned only in the speeches at the reception (as part of the stories they were sharing) and not in the ceremonial vows at all - and that was absolutely fine with us because the day really was all about the two of them and their relationship with each other.
The difference maybe was that we had a really good relationship with our step-mum and were a bit older. It was a no brainer that we were part of the deal when they were married - but as far as we were concerned the wedding wasn't about us at all. She already introduced us to people as 'the kids' so they always just assumed she was our mother (and would raise eyebrows when doing the mathematics later).
She's literally a mother figure anyway in 'real life' - why can't she have a day that's just about the two of them if she makes an effort every other day. My stepmum still celebrates a "yay-us" day in October (when she moved in with us) 15 years later. Note - that's *not* on their wedding anniversary (which is in April) I've *never* been a part of that celebration.
Also, We had been to enough weddings before and after to realise that - when there are kids (even cute little flower girls and ring bearers) they 100% steal the show. At my Aunty's I didn't even look at her entry down the isle because the flower girls were fiddling with their dresses and playing up to the grandparents.
IDK, let her be the star for the day. Once you're older you don't have as many days to celebrate yourself and these kids have so many events that they can be the stars of coming up that she will be a part of. Let it be about her.
I think you relate toooo much to the story and as such try to frame it in relation to your own experiences. Your not wrong that under certain circumstances it would be fine, however, the way the post was written and framed and the fact that the post was written on AITA provides a lot of subtext that people are reading into and lead them to believe the relationship between the kids and step mom is not great. And perhaps that is inaccurate and people are misreading the situation because it is in a written format and just a post without the full context someone living the situation would have. All situations are unique and maybe it is not an issue but from an objective view and analysis of just the post I must agree with the majority that she is likely the one in the wrong.
@@haydenlux5027 absolutely fair - I mean I definitely can’t escape that my own bias would play a huge part in how I view the situation.
I would just also warn against the step-mother wanting to steal that dad away from the existing kids trope. Just because someone doesn’t want the kids in every part of their life doesn’t mean they don’t want them anywhere! In my experience, it was so prevalent (particularly with step-mums and not so much step-dads … interestingly) that if they don’t 110% become super involved and enthusiastic they are bad people.
I wanted to share my alternate view particularly here where I was (at the time) seeing a lot of comments saying that if she doesn’t want the kids involved in the wedding they should separate. I felt like the view was definitely leaning towards the assumption the relationship was bad.
I also kind of wonder how much the weight of her having a close relationship with the kids would change if the gender roles were reversed…
There are a lot of doctors that have such a high ego and are so self-righteous it's astonishing. That Justin "doctor" guy is definitely one of those.
If it's Taylor we're talking about I'll call her "Dr. Taylor" if she wants me to, during a casual conversation we'll never have. I'd be happy to do so lmao
“it’s weird that she says i love you to her brother”
bruh i say i love you to anyone i care about in any way. “i love you” can have many meanings, most of them not even remotely romantic
and my girlfriend thinks it’s cute that i do that. she often tells me “you have a big heart and as long as there’s a place for me in it i’m happy. you have a lot of love in you, please share it” and i melt every time that’s so sweet
Holy crap I knew I wasn’t the only person who thought these things were weird Af. Also props to Dylan for being sneaking in the ad read