How To Have "Perfect" Social Skills
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2017
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Graham Norton has what many people would consider their ideal charisma - for two reasons.
One, Graham Norton doesn’t need to hog the spotlight in order to shine. And two, Graham Norton seems to have the ability to make ANYONE like him. From rockstars to movie stars to professional athletes, people from all walks of life seem to love being around him.
So today we’re going to talk about a 4 step formula that Graham Norton uses to make people love him even while he teases them, and how you can use it to make yourself both funnier and more well liked.
0:34 Graham Norton creates a warm and positive connection
1:26 Graham Norton compliments especially on Graham Norton Show
2:55 How to be funnier and how to make people like you
5:33 How to use banter and teasing to get everyone on the same level
9:00 Graham Norton does the art of self deprecation
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Learning to socialize is like learning a foreign language from scratch.
You nailed it! I just thought that there's much to change before he would become popular here.
First of all, new body language!
exactly
@@suaptoest verbs
I feel attacked
It certainly feels that way to me
Jimmy Fallon never clicked on a video so fast
Exactly what I was thinking. It's like he's a robot trying to emulate this, but failing. He just fake laughs at everything and tries to force jokes and compliments. It all feels artificial.
I love me some jimmy fallen but I don’t hate on his awkwardness to be honest I just think he’s some awkward dude bad at jokes who managed to climb up in the interview world so not fake but good for him getting there. Amazing accomplishment for someone who may struggle with being funny or whatever
Absolute consummate phony, or at least that is how he comes off. I can't watch The Tonight Show anymore (Grew up with Carson.. Liked Leno....Liked Connan...)
@@KaylaSaysRawwr It sure is amazing for him. It'd be an amazing if I were the president too but like Jimmy Fallon I'm not amazing for the people.
LMFAOOOO
Graham Norton is a genuinely nice guy. Being genuine is really, really important. And he's sharp and clever. He's not forced, he's spontaneous.
errrrm I met him lol hes not that nice to non-famous people
@@johnevans9665 that's such a pity! So sorry to hear that! Maybe you caught him on an 'off' day?!
@@louisefox4852 well yes I can imagine it would be really annoying if everyone knew you but you dodnt know them lol
@@johnevans9665 yes, not sure if I could cope with that to be honest!
@@johnevans9665 As someone who works in the UK entertainment industry, I can vouch for that too. Important thing to remember is that he's *paid* to be endearing on his show to his guests. It's not a barometer for how he is in real life. He's not the worst by far out there though.
1 Warm friendly vibe, smile, touch, compliment based on accomplishment
2 humor, and make them feel you get them, laugh along with other's joke
more time listening than speaking
3 playfull teasing gives a familiar feeling (dont attack identity, dont tease about something that can not be changed). Best if earlier before, a compliment.
4 listens intently and focused, let the other talk. To be intersting by being intetested, eyecontact
Micha Vlijmen, van I always look for that kind of comment, thx
Thx
Love these. Feel like people nowadays try to WIN over the room and impose power, rather than feeling the vibe out and making everyone feel comfortable. :) need more people like this in the world GVO baby
i love you. thank you for this
Appreciate u sir 🫡
I'd like to see a video about someone doing the exact opposite of charisma and breaking apart how they could have improved. Whether that be a character from a movie or an actual interview.
yes!!
Watch the Will Smith vs Jaden Smith video
That would actually be really cool to see, even if its a character I'd love to see them break down ways to improve charisma in the moment.
WhirlwindSkies +
I think they have a Ned Stark video that does what you're asking for.
no the first step Graham does is gets his guests drunk.
Yeah, he was on Colbert's show recently and admitted that's how he gets people to talk.
Kazakh Gamer "does is gets" - RIP English
Yet it can't be denied that Graham has an extremely likeable, charismatic and witty personality. Anyway, its not like he's forcing the drinks down their throats! His mentioning of 'liquoring them up' on Colbert's show was a bit of light, British humour which seems to have been awfully misinterpreted within the short time since he was interviewed.
hahaha nailed it! there's also drinks backstage ;)
u00drk1 That's just another self deprecating joke lol
Great video which is worth watching
A small summary:
1. Create a warm positive connection at the beginning of the interaction
1. Smile and touch (search for little hints/Hinweise how the person likes to be greeted/welcomed)
2. Make others feel good with complement based on their accomplishment
2. Made others lough
1. Use a wide range of vocal tonality and emotional expression to get a lough
2. Laughing along with someone else’s jokes (you make them feel like you’re listening to them) remember that laughter and happiness are habits that you can cultivate
3. Combining achievement-based compliments the person is proud of, playful teases and self deprecating jokes you can tease people while they lough and love you.
1. Whoever you’re teasing should be laughing along with you
2. By playfully giving each other a hard time you immediately create a familiar feeling
3. Be careful don’t attack someones identity and don’t tease something that is unchangeable and important to them
4. Set the stage by making a sincere complement and you are able to tease little things without offending anyone
5. Dont make yourself the but of every joke
4. Be an active listener Dale Carnegie „to be interesting, be interested"
I think a LOT of Irish people are naturally friendly, complimentary and seek out humour and therefore are widely liked. The accents of Ireland are also very musical so he changes his pitch a lot
Pop Land I'm Irish and can confirm that characters like Graham are very common here, just from my colleagues alone I can think of three of them that could easily engage anyone in the same way Graham does. However, Graham seems to lightly tease people here but in reality the Irish can actually be very harsh in teasing each other so we grow immune to taking offence and learn to laugh things off. It's to the point that many tourists and migrants here even question if we're being malicious but it's really all l said "for the craic" and not meant to really cause hurt or offence
Pop Land I don't know you're nationality but here in Ireland we have what's called "craic",which is having a good time, usually by friends making jokes at other friends expense,and receiving as good as you give. It's part of our culture and it usually happens when we get drunk, well it does when me and my mates get drunk, I shouldn't speak for everyone .
No not really
You're on the ball there girl! Fair play to ye! :)
Yeah, aslo funny how a huge number of friendly charcthers in games/movies have irish accents. It really helps.
I've been waiting for you guys to do Graham Norton for a while now! He is the most witty and likable person I know. Love him!
goodgirl140 indeed! Didn't take me long to become obsessed with his show either.
Currently watching him right now.
goodgirl140 You actually know Graham Norton?
What's he like?
How long have you known him?
goodgirl140 I wonder is he shown in America,?
Graham Norton is definitely the best talk show host in the world.
:-p :-D mmmm...no.
Best in the world if you want the whole world to act homosexual. It's called homosexual flirting, not 'charisma.' He's not a 'magnetic' or desirable mate to a normal person.
@@PeopleHealthTru what do you mean by that?
@@abraham8565 what he means is that he's a troll - probably typed his comment from his parents' basement, which he hasn't left in years, lol.
@@vickirosstudor490 mmmm...yes.
Graham Norton is, hands down, better than any other talk show host currently on TV. And I'm including the U.S. in that, because his show feels so genuine and he seems like he's having a genuine conversation with each and every one of his guests. Top video, well done guys!
My stepson is 14 and entering the realm of being included in more conversations involving adults. This has been helpful for him. As often he’s the youngest, these tips are helpful to remind him he has plenty to offer a conversation
Can you do more videos on charismatic women, please? A lot of your videos focus on male speakers/personalities and some of the humour or techniques that they use work better in a 'bro' setting or don't always come across well when delivered by a woman - there's something in that society also likes women to be refined and polite. There's a lot of women who don't necessarily use humour all the time, but manage to command respect and have that sense of magnetism around them - some of the TED speakers come to mind as an easy example.
The one about Adele is amazing!
Hi C! Absolutely plan to do more women as well as men. Our most popular video ever is actually on Ellen Degeneres. Did you like the recent one on Margaery Tyrell?
Benjamin Altman Tina Fey please!
Jenna Gray Its British banter its all in good fun.
C that's such a great comment! I was thinking the whole time about how to apply these steps to my own life as a woman and I don't think they will translate as well. Especially with "touching" without coming across as flirty and joking which I think comes across as witty for men and "bitchy" for women.
Would like to add that in the bit about reading body language, in both cases Graham approaches with his hand held slightly out to be ready for a handshake. He notices Josh Widdicombe coming in with shoulders slightly more forward (more awkward) and with his hand outstretched, therefore he uses the handshake + back pat (caveat - back patting doesn't work so well if you're female). Jeremy Renner enters with his shoulders set back and open body language, which might indicate being open to a hug.
Exactly. The most important aspect of Graham's physical connections with his guests is how he takes his cues from what they are comfortable with. Mark of an excellent host.
No, Jeremy Renner clearly opened his arms for a hug -- he initiated it. He's an American, and an actor -- you should already know he'd be more demonstrative than a Brit. Plus, this is not Norton's first meeting with either one of them. And they've certainly interacted that day before the taping began. Also, please be cautious: what Norton does is way too much for real life. This is a TV show.
If you wanna improve your relationships this is the only channel in the world that makes you feel like you REALLY learnt something at the end of the video. Thank you soooo much!
We're not talking about 3 technics. Everything can be learnt and if you wanna learn charisma you start studying it and you finish living it. My relationships have improved since I started watching ALL their videos and reading their book. Of course it takes effort, it's not about watching videos and than "done!". You study, you apply these advices , you try, you fail, you observe what's wrong in your behaviors, you continue studying and than you succeed.
this channel is a great tool for robots
Gumersindo Cebollero what do u mean?
For robots like me. You're right, Gumersindo Cebollero. Mentioning your name so you will like me more. Ha-ha-ha.
Bash Yre so they can learn to act like real people, like me haha, I also enjoy social activities and f.r.i.e.n.d.s. haha
Computer says no...
or sociopaths
I instantly like someone who has a sense of humor and possess the ability of making fun of himself in order to give people a comfortable feeling towards him. Everybody wants to be happy no matter how bad the situation is, so it's not bad to carry a joke everywhere you go, atleast you can make people smile in every little things you do.
I am not really good at making compliments but I can confirm, humor and self deprecation is incredible. If you can laugh about yourself with confidence you are already good to go! If you tease you can go over board, but if you make jokes about yourself you can't really go wrong! We all like to laugh! If you want someone to like you, make them associate a positive emotion with your character. When they associate fun and laughter with you, then they will enjoy being around you and search for your presence. Good to see a fellow RUclips deconstructing celebrities social skills! I really enjoyed this one, probably because I like graham norton!
Biggest takeaway for me:
- Don’t be so serious, learn to laugh at yourself. Nobody is perfect and being overly critical of yourself ruins the experience for yourself and for others because you’ll be in a negative vibe.
- always give genuine detailed compliments over general generic compliments . Something specific that may matter to the person. Ex. Nice shirt vs You have great style I really like it!
- compliment before any teasing.
- when teasing don’t attack someone’s identity, don’t tease something that is unchangeable or important to them . (Example, if they have acne or sexual orientation)
That is a very good summary!
A side note, I love the way he encourages guests to tell a story or remind them the details without giving away anything necessary to the build-up or punchline.
We're interested in others when they're interested in us
But then how will they become interested in you, when you're not interested in them yet?!
Shouldn't the same theory apply to the other side!
This is similar to "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" dilemma all over again :D (I'm team chicken)
Haha I totally agree! Show genuine interest in others first and the natural human instinct will be for them to reciprocate
Not true at all
Actually so true
Red Smurf
You can't say it's true, because it is not generally true. It only *might* be true among people you know (coworkers, classmates, neighbors, ...). If you stop someone on street that you've never seen before and you will show interest in how's his day or how is he, even if your interest will be 100% honest, you won't become friends. You will be most likely told to mind your own business...
Please remember that Graham has a team of people doing research on his guests so he knows what he can and cannot make fun of. His personal charm and people skills aside, it'd be difficult for him to do this show week after week without them. Just saying it helps to know the person, or at least a few details before you start poking fun at them. You never know what can be a sensitive subject to someone so keeping it light can be difficult for serious people at first.
I'm not on the level where I have a "team of people", just using Google and giving respect, so I became known for opening my guests up because they trust me. I've even interviewed Kanye and got him to laugh and relax and share his feelings about things he didn't with others. You don't need a team to be an effective interviewer.
So true
sisterfromanotherplanet you’re right, but you have to remember that he’s interviewing ppl who have been interviewed to DEATH about everything they do, so the research is mandatory if you want to get creative with your questions and not repeat the same boring questions.
Yet every talk show host has a team of researchers or just a person really, and Graham Norton still stands out
Good point man I was thinking the same
You forgot his Irish charm. ;)
yeah most irish people are naturally charming
+Daire O'Reilly how can an entire people be charming
killy it's the culture. not all Irish people are changeover but a very large percentage are. Conversely Americans tend to be much more polite and mannerly but less off the cuff.
Dat Guy Maybe you were adopted and you're really German..😆
His lucky charms
I've been lobbying for this episode for SOOOO LONG Constantly seeing celebrities that don't usually open up or even do interviews go on Graham Norton's and show and just love it has made me deeply interested in how the man does it!!!!
Can you make a video on how to cheer people up? thanks
This video shows that. Just be even more cautious, more gradual, if they're not feeling good.
give them money .Actually don't .Receiving money is kind of embarrasing
Watch tony robbins. he's the master at that one
Hug em.
Here's your video: don't do it. There are few things more invasive and annoying than an attempt to "cheer up" someone who hasn't asked you to do so.
to be fair, that mark ruffalo joke caught us all off gard in it was RELLY hillarious i don't think anyone would not LOL at it, it still make me laugh even tho i watched it alot of times.
mannelshah what's it in reference to? Just his general appearance?!
That's HIS spontaneity that makes him more likeable.
What I love about Graham Norton’s show is the way he fosters conversation between sometimes wildly different guests. It would be amazing if you could look into that because we often have situations where odd people have to mix and it is never easy.
1:06 Actually he WAS gonna shake his hand, BUT Jeremy already made the gesture to hug so Graham copied.
I LOVE Graham. I love how he is funny and makes the show while giving the stage fully to his guests
I'm glad y'all finally made a video about Graham Norton, we've been asking for this for a while.
I'm gonna watch these videos often
I've been watching this channel for over a year now, it has been one of the most helpful resources of information
Yes it is I've been watching for about a year as well but I'm going to add a lot of these videos to my daily playlist they're great for learning better communication
I'm sure you'll agree that after understanding the fundamentals of good charisma, one's life improves tenfold
RapperGeekT me2
Don't forget to put into practice whatever you learned in the real world.
When you don't even need a notification cause you're on youtube all the time anyway 😂
you are pretty
Kim yong the cringe almost snaped my spine😅
well played
Same omg.
Raluca Sandu when your name sounds like an indian dish
Great advice, Ben . I am excited for this on site videos to see how your personalities differ when showing your own charisma.
You guys have outdone yourself with this video. Way to raise the bar! Brilliant tips on ways to soften teasing while putting it all together with all the other charisma skills.
~ Glad you're digging it!
Honestly, these videos are amazing. I've been struggling a bit lately with on camera presence, it's hard to "be funny" or entertaining when you have zero real time feedback. But these videos are so good, really going to take these tips and suggestions to heart and try to implement them. Thank you!
My favorite part of this video is listening to you, Ben. Seriously, I can see you really practice what you preach and you make an effort to improve yourself. I found you instantly likable and was interested in what you had to say about The Dollar Shave Club. Well done, mate ;)
Graham is just such a natural, so funny and smart, one of his big talents is the comebacks...thanks for also pointing out and naming all the things he does, focusing in achievements, self deprecating humor, etc. well done and thank you!...I just subscribed!
~ Our pleasure! Glad you enjoyed the video and welcome to the channel. :-)
Yay!! You FINALLY made a video on Graham!! He is the best talk show host today.
1. Warm Positive Connection:
Be warm and make compliments instead of generic
2. Humor:
Be funny or laugh out loud. Make people feel like they have a good time around you.
3. Tease and self-deprecate:
Break tension and formality by teasing or to be safe, jokes at your expense. Try and compliment first and then attempting these after.
4. Listen:
People love to tell stories or share opinions but only if someone actually validates their effort by listening. Also, try not to interrupt because no one likes being interrupted.
When teasing, keep two criteria in mind:
1. Don't attack someone's identity
2. Don't target something unchangeable and important to the person.
This also helps me to see why some teasing hurts me. Knowing that, I can now let those things pass and try not to be offended by them.
Don't say something out of malice or dislike. That means be really careful with the people you know you don't like very much. You can be polite all the time, but those little caustic remarks can destroy all that work. Instead focus on complimenting those people genuinely.
To be interesting, be interested. Listen to people and let them feel interest.
I must say there is still another line to that "Don't tease people about something that is unchangeable" - I myself am fairly short and my friends definitely tease me about it, crack some jokes, and it is pretty hilarious more often than not! I am not too self conscious about it so it's really not an issue, but I suppose one still has to be careful about how to approach those issues depending on the person
Hey Luis! That's awesome and means you're probably quite confident :-) Not everyone is, which is why it's exactly as you say, you aren't self conscious about it so it doesn't bother you. There are exceptions to this for sure, but for someone still figuring out where the line is, I think it's a good guideline to avoid anything that is both unchangeable and important to them. But exceptions will apply :-)
Yeah but you can't depend on that with people you just met.
Moral: With marijuana and caffeine an introvert can become an Extrovert God.
Be instantly magnetic by:
1. Creates warm, positive connection,
i) smile & touch
ii) shake, hug, pat...
iii) compliment on something hard to achieve.
2. Humour & laughter for others to feel joy around you.
3. Playful teasing & self-deprecation puts everyone on the same level.
i) don't attack someone's identity
ii) don't attack things that are important to them.
iii) establish you love their thing first.
iv) self-depreciation, laught at yourself.
4. Listen very intently.
I really appreciated this - makes me realize how powerful it is to just genuinely APPRECIATE people! (I forget sometimes) Thanks!
I normally don't watch this kind of stuff, I feel ethically inclined not to, but thank you. It answered some questions I hadn't found answers to until now.
I feel like talk shows aren't a great thing to study for interpersonal communication, given there's a whole audience and all parties are focused on looking friendly/likable for the camera/audience.
I am looking forward to see this channel evolve even more (already loving it)
~ Appreciate that +SimpleFire :-)
I can't think of a more perfect choice to demonstrate how to make people instantly like you, than Graham Norton! Well done!
He is absolutely outstanding at what he does. I love his show.
Outstanding indeed. Well put.
Seeing a talented person using his/her talent is an amazing thing to behold. Norton knows his craft, that’s for damn sure!
I want to go to The Graham Norton show so badly.
But step 1 is obviously the alcohol. He is so smart to incorporate it with his show.
The teasing part of joking is often hard to do. I usually go too far on my friends and it can lead to awkward moments. This video encapsulates the parts of which I did wrong. I enjoy re-watching these videos so much!
Love the personal touch on this video - gives me insight into someone new producing these videos!!
I love Graham so much, he always make me laugh. Ben, you ROCK! I'm glad you're doing this videos too. Thank you so much.
Thank you and my pleasure :-)
Can't talk about Graham's charisma and not mention his suit game...it's A+
you and charlie are the best,keep going on and ignore whatever negative criticism that you might receive
Great post. Glad I took the time to go through it, cheers!
Great video. thank you for it! you can use an app to download those videos in a higher quality so when you zoom in, it won't look like the game Doom (the first 1)
Boy, atleast you're paying attention to the specificity tips
This is a great video. Great pointers and great way of doing the video. I look forward to seeing more videos like this from the both of you in the future!
Thanks Hova!
Because of these qualities you mentioned, he is easily the best chat show out there currently. It’s because he actually let his guests talk and chat, as how these type of shows supposed to be. And he always managed to make all the people sitting on his couch comfortable enough to share any stories they want.
very good analysis
How have you guys not already done a video about Ricky Gervais? I think you will come up with an incredible break down about him!
Keep up the good work 👊👊
i would love to see a video about how to talk about yourself!
Moments. Square Brackets = my thoughts
Interesting moment is he does not hide the spotlight 00:03
1:20 He complements based on accomplishments [The more specific the better, hence you are paying attention]
5:30 He uses self-deprecation to tease everyone to get them on the same level.
A level playing field. Now we can all laugh.
[Make fun of yourself first, but not too much, or else people take pity on you]
6:55 Do not tease someone about something that is unchangeable and important to them
[This is so important]
7:10 Making fun of David’s haircut. Totally fine as this is changeable.
8:06 There is some water there!
11:30 To be interesting, be interested
Feels good that I actually do a lot of this already. Thanks Ben, keep it up!
Man being funny and likeable is A LOT OF WORK
I'm American and Graham Norton is the only foreign talk show I watch. ❤️ I assume using him was just as example since ALL hosts have these skills. Ya can't do a good job without being very good with people.
I watch his show because it's funny and different but I wouldn't be interested in being real life friends with such a hyper cutup.
IMO being a good, responsive listener is by far the most important.
Excellent points and Graham is such a pleasure to watch. Great work here.
This was a great video. I'd point out that the difference between the handshake and the hug actually came from the guest themselves. You can see the first guy walk forward with his hand out while the other had both hands open to the sides. Grahams skill lies in quickly identifying the intent of the other person and following it.
I read something very interesting during my psychology class.
It's a technique to make people like you. If you want someone to like you, borrow something from them and then return it back. This makes them like you.
But, i my tested thing is to be rude to people (to set the bar low) and then apologize which makes them think you are really nice lol and they like you 🙃
Tell Me This like a credit score!!
Tell Me This wow life hack
TheRealHerbaSchmurba exactly 😏
Aulia King you are welcome 😏
That's funny, I remember being best friends with someone and the first memory is me giving him a rubber and getting it back, lol.
graham and conan are my favorite talk show hosts of all time
Its the Irish personality...best in the world as talk show hosts as they have a natural skill fro talking to people ...In Ireland to be sociable and fun is considered a must while quiet and serious people not so much
@@monmorelord6368 Conan isn't Irish. He's Irish american. Completely different things.
@@thehallofvalhalla NO its not ...its in the DNA ...
Yes Conan is very Irish.
I just found your channel and I'm loving it- thank you!
Wow I love your choice of people to do a detail break downs with. Who ever does the choosing of people to do a videos on definitely has a good eye .
~ This has been requested for a while now - glad you're liking it!
Even his face makes you instantly like him.
So THAT's what you look like! You have a great voice; I love listening to your videos; and as it turns out, you are ridiculously easy on the eyes, so don't be shy to do more appearances :)
Graham uses a warm connection to his guest touch warmth everyone loves him! Hugs a pat on shoulder compliments based on accomplishments. What worked hard to acheive and gives so much to make guest happy. Creates a very friendly vibe. He uses humor and laughter and wants to enjoy pursuit of happiness and joy. Relates so well to guests moving voice up and down to emphasize points. What are u afraid of ? things that interest guests and touch them and laugh at guests jokes and watch comedy and spend time with it help neuropathways connect to it!!! At times it can be tought to get some guests open up does playful teasing to playfully give peolple a hard time makes guest comfortable and relaxed. Gets into their interests and passions and do research on your guest before interview. Sincere compliments Laughs with them not at them too much if praise before and deliver s jab with a smile and they should be laughing with you. Can make at times a self depracating joke. And all in fun and not attacking anyone. Starts early in interview with compliments Comedy is wonderful successful and fun to be able to make people laugh. Is a great listener and lets guests talk more very insightful. To be interesting be interesting... Carnigie Make others feel important and be listened to. Doesnt talk as much about himself. These r almost all Grahams main positive successful techniques. Enjoy Chana Natalie Knopf Rosenblat..on Facebook Friend me! **
Very well put! I must say, out of all others, Graham Norton is my favourite.
Great job and excellent tips. Watching this helped me realize that for the past 2 weeks I've been overly serious about life. I will now take the time to smile and laugh as cultivating happiness within me equals happiness around me. Thanks for sharing:)
Happy to share :-)
Charisma on Command Your day
Graham Norton is so fabulous, a gift to humanity.
But hey, he knows it. 😜
I used to watch the Graham Norton show about 15 years ago when it was on in the UK. Glad he's getting the recognition he deserves.
this is UNCANNY i was literally binge watching the graham norton show yesterday and thought about how cool it'd be if u made a video about graham norton........
The positive scenarios are great, I'd like to see more examples of people failing to use these methods though 🙌
"When you laugh at someone's joke, you make THEM feel like YOUR listening to THEM!" These videos used to make really useful points about linguistics and they've devolved into how to conversation for dummies.
Fantastic topic...love Graham's show above all.
Wow, thank you so much!
Make a video about Bill Burr
Ale Ale I second this
Can you make a video on working with others? How do you become the ideal working partner? How do you encourage people to work? How do you work well with others? How do you become efficient with your working partners?
Warm friendly connection through smile and touch
One of the most talented talk show hosts tbh. Even when things are getting awkward he can diffuse it really well :)
He can. In his latest show Madonna is being the most appalling person on the planet and out comes Ian McKellen who is universally loved and it's obvious Madonna is not happy. Somehow he makes it work beautifully.
This isn't a talent that can be adopted or learned in a quick manner. GRAHM is a good listener and has a sharp and witty memory and just all around enjoyable energy. Grahm truly can finesse the widest variety of individuals allwhile keeping it progressivly moving and informative. He has been at this along time and truly has mastered the late night tv show banter, plus he has cut out many of the standard industry conversation formalities and nicely flows from a conversation into a hilarious bash from the likes of old friends poking fun at one another. Grahm is great at getting guest to lighten up and just be their real natural self and this is what enjoy about his show then any other of today's. , The tool that works best for Grahm, and this is from his own mouth, he sauces his guest up, and this gets them to wllingly loosen their insecurity bolts making the fun poking exchanges truly enjoyable and the most unique of any joking on tv. Grahm does this better then any other host and this keeps it enjoyable for all without overdoing it. We have all seen other host fail and flatline their interviews into a uncomfortable closing. This is why his guest truly enjoys coming on his show
I feel like an alien trying to learn human behaviour when I watch these videos
So interesting. So overwhelmed.
Interesting concept. Thanks for sharing. God bless ❤❤
Tom Hiddleston "You make a man feel good Graham"
In more than one way!!! JKJKJKJK
😬
This is the first I ever heard about that show, I have to see if I can find it. :)
Establish a warm, friendly vibe: 1) smile, 2) touch (hug or pat), 3) specific compliments based on accomplishment.
Use humor and laughter to make the other person feel joy around you. So much of what drives human action is ultimately the pursuit of happiness and pleasure.
- Quick ways to create happiness in someone are to make them laugh and make them feel like you get them. Use vocal tonality and emotional expression to get a laugh even if the words aren't necessarily funny. "That's a lot of arrows."
- Laugh along with someone else's joke. Be good natured. Laugh a lot to be fun to be around you, which makes them feel like you're listening to them.
- Watch what makes you laugh (an hour a week). Over time, laughing out loud more reinforces those neural pathways. Laughter and happiness are habits; the more you cultivate the habit, the happier you'll be and the more people will enjoy being around you.
Use teasing and self-deprecation to get everyone on the same level. Playfully give each other a hard time (like you do with close family members, friends, relationship partners) to create a familiar feeling between the two of you. Teasing is different from insulting.
- Don't attack someone's identity.
- Don't tease something that's unchangeable and important to them.
- Give the sincere compliment first to set the stage to tease little things without offending. If you forget, use self-deprecation.
- Don't be a jerk; whoever you're teasing should be laughing along with you.
- Don't make yourself the butt of every joke. Same teasing rules apply to yourself.
Listen intently (as you guide the conversation). Use gestures that indicate your interest when asking a question. For example, Graham Norton points his hand toward the person or himself (11:05, 11:14), or jabs his hands forward (11:53). Letting someone talk and share while making them feel listened to can be an incredible experience for them.
Be genuine, be a good listener, find humor in almost anything.
Best talk show host by a mile
One of the hardest things about self deprecating jokes I experience, is that people sometimes don't get that you're making a joke.
One time after an intense group workout, one of the participants told the rest he wasn't as fatigued as he hoped, so he was considering going for a 10K run. To which I responded (with the intention of making a joke): "That's crazy! I can barely walk anymore, let alone go for a 10K run." Some thought I was being dead serious, even though they saw me walking 10 seconds earlier. So in stead of laughing, people thought there was something wrong with my legs.
Any advice on how to make sure others take it as a joke?
CollinsPages In a word: delivery
Will Younger I realize that xD Let me rephrase the question: how do you deliver a self deprecating joke without actually making a fool out of yourself? Body language? Tonality of voice? Choice of words? State of mind?
CollinsPages You,re doing it wrong, u cant just say anything bad or not as good about urslef and make others think its a joke
CollinsPages study the other examples; they are different
CollinsPages Sorry! I'm no expert, but I would say the 3 most important things, other than choice of words as you mentioned as well, are tone, setting, and lead up.
For example, in that setting and lead up, I would have used sarcasm with what you said. Otherwise, compliment and self depreciate at the same time. For instance: Them "I'm not tired enough..." You "as the mere mortal I am, my legs feel like the whacky wavy inflatable tube man." You suggest they're a beast while at the same time painting a funny picture at you're own expense to get people to laugh.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING 🔥🔥🔥
Great video. Graham is just so natural with ppl, I doubt he needed any coaching.
I try to be like that to ppl in general, especially with my customers but I think I sometimes misread their body language.