It occurred to me this week that I want to be INSPIRED and not INFLUENCED. “Inspired’ is a creative term, “influenced” is a monetary one. when I’m inspired, I want to be a better version for the best version of myself I can be! When I’m influence, I simply think that buying something will make me be that person!
Oh my days this is so scary I wrote this exact phrase in my notes on New Years I wrote I don’t want to influence I want to inspire I don’t want to be influenced I wanted to be inspired. This is one of the most surreal experiences for me right now
Incredibly insightful observation! I’m absolutely fatigued by all the influencers telling me what’s trendy, whats outdated, what’s hot…like I just want to feel inspired to create and not just buy everything cause it’s hot right now.
I think this is why I can’t get away from thrifting. As the self aware Aries I can’t stand doing things because others are doing it lol. As soon as I see too many people in it I start avoiding it
Yes I hear you cookie ….I want to be seen but not looking like everyone else and from a distance … I am okay happy for you to comment but then walk away and let me shine… I don’t want to feel uncomfortable because I look different than most others , but it doesn’t mean I am soo extrovert I can handle all the lingering attention
I just love when you see a thriifted piece and how it should inspire you and start your mind going into how it going to work in your life. I just so addicted to searching for the finds.
I found this so interesting , I was a fashion student in the 1980s and now my Daughter is a fashion student and I find her attitude so different to what mine was . We all wanted to stand out , be different , now they all want to blend in , look like what they see on social media . I say create , don’t follow , absolutely we are all influenced by our surroundings but , hopefully those surrounding aren’t just social media . Well done you , for breaking away from that narrative .
let me ask you, was there a time where gatekeeping your fashion finds was a thing? like the joy was in the journey of locating/recreating something you were inspired by. Im a millennial but always loved fashion. I have a faint memory of this being the case but would like to confirm 😅
I don’t remember keeping places , sources to myself . I just followed my own interest , inspiration and as I said always wanted to be myself , not what other people were wearing . If I noticed others adopting my style , I would say usually I knew it was time to move on .
I was a teen in the 90s, and I would say there were some gatekeepers. Not just with fashion but with music and our favorite bands. You wanted them to become successful but you didn't want the songs to become so popular that they were everywhere and go commercial. I think the gatekeeping kind of started ending in the 2000's with social media because now we could all look up what shoes Rihanna had on or whatever
I totally agree! Who has money to keep adding to their wardrobe every season?? Maybe a piece or two here and there. I love how "influencers" love to say what's in and out of fashion. If you find your own personal style, it becomes timeless. I think it's ok to evolve as you grow, but for the most part I know what I like and what I feel comfortable in❤
I'm actually amazed how much the exercise of imagining your own fashion collection from scratch and giving it a name clarified things for me. I get so caught up in types of fashion and what styles appeal to me when it can really just be boiled down to big boxy cuts and durable materials that just look cooler and cooler the more worn they get. It was just a lightbulb moment of "oh duh, canvas, leather, denim. Earth tones and deep saturated warm colors. Loose cuts I can comfortably move in. Big dramatic collars. No sleeves unless it's a jacket." that cut through all the noise.
I really love the humanistic approach to this video. It really brings back home how creative we were before social media and Pinterest. Allowing ourselves to get back to what we know as far as who we are and what REALLY makes us glow. I found myself getting away from what I know works for me. looking back at old pictures truly shows me what my style was and is till this day. I’m 42 and proud to say I’ve always loved easy relaxed simple clothes and interesting accessories 😊
Lately, I don't watch content from a couple of influencers I follow as often as I used to. I get a bit turned off by them because they kind of only show what they have bought, instead of giving advice about how to create your own personal style. Your video and your message are much needed. ❤️
Figuring out WHY you’re drawn to a look before trying to emulate it is so key, because then you can really let your individuality take over instead of just replicating someone else. And the tip about looking at the runway is excellent, the raw design principles of the garments really shine the most there.
Thank you for this post. I totally agree. I’m quite bored of style influencers posting the same ideas, outfits, trends, sponsored pieces. It’s gotten repetitive and boring. Styling matching sweatsuits with a long wool coat…. A button down with wide leg jeans and a sweater over the shoulders… we’ve all seen it. And the never ending “core’s”, I just can’t. I want to see fresh and new ideas… actual personal style ideas. So thank you and I’d love to see where you go with this.
I'm doing a 100 day challenge of no thrifting, no shopping and simply playing in my own wardrobe and aiming to wear and share a 100 different outfits that just make me happy. Day 20 and already feeling reenergised by what I already own. I found I was just buying more and more and not appreciating what I already have. Genuinely personal style is the best. Great thoughts here! x
This was the most intelligent, unique, and enlightening analysis of personal fashion that I have ever experienced. Ms. Carolyn is brilliant. I’ll have to watch this several times, there are so many layers to absorb. Loved it.
My mother recently passed and I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've just started a real, earnest attempt to revamp my closet with pieces that suit me on a deep level and its the most exiting process! For the first time (possibly ever) I'm starting to LOVE the clothes and shoes I have. Another interesting side effect is that I'm less and less concerned about my weight and body insecurities. I'm positively distracted by my love for the clothes.
I love this video because you’re not serving us monetized fish (influencing us with items) You’re teaching us how to fish ( a systematic way for us to find our own personal style and stop over consuming while moving futher and futher from feeling like ourselves)
Finally!! Thank you for speaking up! A lot of these fashion influencers seem to lack their own personal style nowadays. Everybody's channel wearing the exact same thing talking the same way about the same thing. I'm over it! what are they influencing us to do walk around looking like twins?! These fashion influencers are starting to look like robotic retail influencers not stylish fashion influencers same content,same look and no personal style. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP✋🏾
You are correct in your analysis. I am a modern man with a personal preference for the Humphrey Bogart look. Pants with pleats, clean shoes, properly laced oxford shoes, shaved with a touch of spicy fragrance. When you look good you also feel good and ready to take on the world. Best wishes.
Instant follow after this video popped up on my feed. I love how you weren’t selling me on your style or the latest style but simply talking about ways to curate your own style. Thank you, sincerely someone who has many unworn/unloved items from getting into “aesthetic” culture.
Sis i love that you made this video. I was just saying that all the content creators and influencers are influencing each other. Wearing and saying the same thing and it's getting boring. I love your unique since of fashion and it inspires me. Please continue to be unique. Everybody seems to be chasing the partnerships and not the art of true style. Most don't have it. They may have fashion, but they don't have style. I love it sis... unplug, get re-inspired and inspire us!!!!!!
I am living in a constant state of being overwhelmed with "inspiration", influence, pictures and "guidance" to what i should wear. I am watching streams like this because I really like this new notion that women AND men want to step back and get to feel, create and decide themselves what they want/ should/ can wear in society. So many things have to be considered! Like sustainability is now a huge factor for me. So I can only say you are so right with working from your inside towards what you want and need for yourself and taking a step back from all that noise!
YES. When I was a teen, I used to be sad that I could not follow one visual style, because I like things from different styles and subcultures. After a while, I realized that this is ~personal style~ and that a lot of the people I followed (the ones who had a somewhat ""unique"" style) had different influences too and did not try to fit in a box. When you post a pic of a outfit nowdays, there are always people asking "what's this aesthetic?" bcs they think you should have one, to give them a simple answer.
I watch alot of Korean dramas and Korean youtubers who just walk around Korea. I enjoy watching what the people wear, and I love seeing sundresses with cute sweaters with simple low heels it's such a feminine esthetic to me. I'm going to be adapting that look for the summer.
I wanted to take a moment to express my appreciation for your recent commentary. While I typically refrain from engaging on various platforms, your words resonated deeply with me, prompting me to break my silence. Your thoughts on the overwhelming influence of certain trends and influencers in the past year struck a chord. It's refreshing to find someone who shares a similar perspective on the saturation of new merchandise and suggestions flooding the market. Your decision to shift focus towards appreciating what you already have, shopping your own closet, and embracing gratitude is truly commendable. Your post eloquently addressed the inaccuracies and pitfalls that many women encounter, leading them into debt and fostering feelings of insecurity. It's a brave stance to challenge the status quo, and I wanted to applaud you for speaking your truth so articulately. I genuinely hope that this year brings you the courage to continue sharing your perspective and living your most authentic life. Your voice is a valuable contribution to the ongoing conversation about self-worth and contentment in an era dominated by external influences. Thank you once again for your thought-provoking commentary. Wishing you a year filled with authenticity, courage, and continued self-discovery.
Wow, I feel honored by your breaking of silence with me :) Thank you for confirming me and connecting with me as well. I will say that this space can at times be hard to navigate, and I am realizing that making this video will be a new foundation for me to create from. I have a feeling it will be difficult because I am human and I still like to shop like I have several money trees in the back yard LOL but it is very important to have intention and understanding of what and how we consume. I hope I can continue to communicate that in a way that makes sense while also still having fun and feeling fabulous ! thank you again for commenting
As a diehard fashionista approaching 60, I've come to realize that mass consumption doesn't heal scars or personal insecurities. I'll always love fashion, but I'm committed to a more conscientious approach in how I consume it. Thanks for the insightful perspective!
Omg! Boomerang is my favorite movie! I’m not sure what my “style” is, but I loooove to see a great pair of jeans with a screen print tee and a blazer. That’s my jam.
Yessss people feel like if you dont follow certain trends that you're not stylish or "can't dress" like chile my style is my style its been this way forever i just throw different spins on it as time goes
This is one time the nosey RUclips gods got it right! I was literally standing in my closet looking at my clothes saying yo myself “who is this person?!” Nothing looked like or felt like me. Since the pandemic I am wfh. I don’t really go anywhere so I just shop and shop then never wear it because it’s REALLY not me. I’m not a girly girl but have every designer bag in my closet just collecting dust. I decided I’m going to purge and figure out my style. Turned on RUclips as background noise and you were the first video to pop up. This “Think Piece” was on point! Preciate you. New subscriber here 😊
SAME! I have so many items on Poshmark or I have donated bags of clothes and shoes. I am wfh also and I really don't go anywhere. I am in t-shirts and leggings most days. 😕
This is why the things I thrift are usually my favorite items. I got off social media (some time last year) and I’ve missed your content in my fashion girl repertoire.
This is spot on. I searched the Ralph Lauren fashion shows on RUclips and i was blown away with INSPIRATION! I pick and chose what resonates with me and am always wearing what I like. Then I see others copy it. Then I move in another direction just because I like being different & true to me
I agree that fashion trends have become very uniform and individual style has taken a back seat. I refuse to fit in , my eclectic artistic soul needs creative expression.
I have been pregnant and nursing for the past 6 years. Up and down and clothes that serve a purpose. In my postpartum low moments I have fallen for some "fads". But ultimately, I always got back to my personal style. I always love a good fabric, as a tailor, and a classic look with accent pieces. This is why I love thrifting. I love the quality fabrics and the classic looks I can put together.
“What makes ya feel good, sis??” 😂❤️ We honestly need to return to that. I didn’t know until I watched it, but this video was exactly what I needed. You successfully managed to cut through ALL of the noise on the ENTIRE internet with this perspective. Brava!! 🤩🎉
You're not influencing. You're educating, informing and sharing. What WE do with this information is on us. Thank you for explaining the differences between fads, trends and style. The "noise level" on social media now is, in general and of my opinion, turned up to full blast. As human BEINGS, we're not built to absorb this kind of intensity ALL THE TIME before our nervous system literally pulls the plug and announces "I'm DONE. You need to sit your ass down and rest, relax and recharge--I'm not taking another step--I'M UTTERLY OVERWHELMED!" LOL An example of this stress on our nervous system is how you've been getting sick when you go out. Yes, people are nasty not thinking of others etc., but even so, you've likely been burning the candle at both ends and finally got fried when they met, LOL. Yep been there, done that!!! I'm SO glad you're honouring yourself/your system and doing what's right and healthy FOR YOU 🙂 You're a great role model by doing so--and that's ... being an authentic-styled media content creator. Well done 👍❤ PS (Check out the term "Style and Substance". It's an old saying but, as you're discovering--it never goes "out of style" 😉--I'm a 60 yr young "whitey 😂" from Canada. My screen name is a dedication to my late father. But I need to change it. Trying to find the right words. Not quite there yet. BTW, it's my 25 yr old daughter who suggested I watch this video. She was right. You're amazing :-)🥰 I've subbed!
I'm so much happier and satisfied with my personal style after getting color consultant and knowing my kibbe style. it has helped me to know what colors, styles and patterns suit me rather than following a trend that looks the ugliest on me.
So many of us are aligned to this. I currently post videos of outfits I put together from shopping my closet and they showcase my personal style - we don’t all have to be edgy or fashion forward 😉 Truth be told, if money wasn’t a factor in shopping, my style would be similar to what it is now but with a different level of quality. I really enjoyed this video! Proud cookie ❤
Back in the day I used to work on movie sets and would run around looking for items that aligned with celebrity's style aesthetic. I developed my own sense of style not by having the latest and greatest but curating my own personal style & identity. All I see now are copycats. We all look alike & have to get the same things to be cool or fit in, etc.These high end designers are making a killing off our lust for the things and they really dont want to see us in it. In comes the infuencer to help people spend money. So I adjusted my attitude and behaviors. Now I like all the things but if it does not align I have to decline.
I must say, this was the perfect conversation that most of us needed. I started this year saying I have too much stuff, I don’t need anything else and I certainly have no room. I’ve been influenced to buy things that I won’t EVER wear and I LOVE BEING AT HOME! You’ve helped a lot of people with your honesty and vulnerability.
I feel you. Im staying home as much as possible until it gets warm LOL ! and it may be time for a purge my dear. Just face the beast and get rid of the things you don't enjoy or understand in your closet. Clear and cleanse the space.
I’ve been told I’m fashionable and based on how you defined it, I suppose I am lol. But you definitely helped me open my mind to even more possibilities as far as understanding my aesthetic. Thank you! You just gained a new sub!! 🎉🎉🎉
It has been so long since I’ve heard anyone talk with such passion and clarity about what they love in fashion and why specifically for themselves. Yes! What is the fit going to do for you when you walk?!?! Not just in a 2D posed photo
Well said. I’m an artist and I express myself through fashion. For the most part I wear what I want….not what I’m told to wear. I don’t follow trends or fads. I have a personal style. Thanks for the distinction💐.
I'm so glad that you made this video! I feel like we are collectively going through losing ourselves to find ourselves. I have been drawing dream wardrobes since I was 6 :()! So I feel bogged down by all the boxes. Your words/thoughts are honest, fresh, exciting, and liberating! Thank you✌️💕💐
Absolutely love this video. I've realised I've been trying to emulate trends and what I've people wear rather than thinking about what I actually love first.
Omg !!! I have been screaming this for a good while. Everybody looks the same, clothing isn’t exciting to me anymore. So I’m in the same space of redefining my style.
The Devil Wears Prada, Clueless, Living Single, are my go to. Great content! I’ve definitely been thinking about my wardrobe and how I want to change things around.
This was needed. I am rebuilding my wardrobe after holding on to clothes for 10+ years… none of which I actually felt my best in. I’m getting a lot of inspo from Pinterest, but I find myself trying to keep up/be on trend or on brand that I have lost my personal style. Thank you for reminding me to go back to what makes me ME.
I’m so happy you said this!!! I’ve been feeling like this with personal style all the way to the way people style their homes. I always try to incorporate my own style because that’s when I feel most in tune with myself. I think everyone is getting addicted to clicking on a link to purchase and it being at their door. Instant gratification is causing us to lose who we are to the core.
Carolyn, carolyn, thanks for your honesty, humor, and introspection. I'm over 60, but not 65 yet. Fashion is important to me. Interior design is "my my" deep thing! They really are close cousins. I have been questioning the need to have the next new thang, and the "sponsoring" to encourage more consumption. It's incredibly disturbing. I've found myself tempted to buy/ try, get subscriptions and have boxes coming monthly of clothing, makeup, perfumes... it is insanity!!! I've quit being influenced by "Influencers", but I take their talent and adapt it for my lifestyle. I sew, and am now learning to thrift for some things and alter for myself. Thanks for encouraging others to press the reset button. Access the what's and why's and be true to yourself. And be financially astute. I applaud you, your style, beauty, talent and evolution 🎉
Thank you for this video! I've been in such a fashion rut and the older I get, the less I like the stuff in the stores where I'm used to shopping. Between the pandemic and working from home, I've felt frumpy and out of it, and when I DO venture out, it's to stores that I probably need to stop shopping at (ie Forever 21, H&M, and Target). I think I hadn't accepted my age and that, as you said in so many words, the evolution of my lifestyle and what I feel good in. And I want to get back to the NYC girl I used to be who would buy up every fashion mag and interpret looks for myself, buy quality pieces, and enjoy mixing and matching. Love to see an elevated conversation on fashion! xo
You are so on point with this conversation. It really struck a nerve for me as well. Because it really made me realize. That people act like sheep’s in this society these days. At the same time made me proud of myself for never following any of this stuff.
I think your channel came up in my feed because this is the conversation I am craving! Seriously! Buying "the latest thing" can't compete with investing in your personal style.
First off..shout out to Baltimore! Secondly, thanks for this Ted Talk (lol) I truly needed it. I have so much stuff and I don’t wear it. I feel like my style is all over the place but I’m going to use your tips and hone in on my personal style and what brings me joy. ❤
This is one of your best! I so appreciated this one. I have worked in a fashion space for 18 years and never let the trends dictate what I wear or wore. I always incorporated my personal style into whatever department I worked in. I was told by my manager who is a Buyer that she’s never seen me wear anything twice. Gurl, of course I have! I just mix it up! It’s so freeing to be your unique, beautiful self! Thank you Carolyn, I love the direction God is leading you, stay the course. ❤❤❤
Literally just tweeted about how much I cannot stand copy cat culture and trends. Definitely have been removing certain pages as well. All great advice in this video.
I’m so happy I’m not the only one who thinks like this. I honestly think you have amazing style! Even if you purchased a “trendy” piece, you still finesse it your own way, YOUR OWN STYLE. I’m honored to have found you last year. A lot of people I used to watch, all started wearing the same things. Literally the exact outfits. Influencers seem to have stopped their own style, just to make the money, and sell to the masses. Thank you so very much for being YOU, for speaking up on the madness in a sea of uniformed trends. LoL - “cookie” Tanee 😉
Good Lord! This was incredible! The freedom and scaling back to our core was so clutch for me. Your style of speaking and personality was so comfortable like we were just sitting together having a hey girl hey catch up! Thank you for this!
What a great review of personal style vs trends. To me fashion is wearable art and I l love dressing to show my personal style. Thank you for the review and thoughtful reminder to stay true to your own personal style.😊
I really enjoyed this "chat" and we all need a reminder to not get swept up in trends. My goal in watching articulate, knowledgeable fashion gurus like you is to develop my own personal style, so you made a lot of sense to me. I am 61 and just fell in love with fashion last year. I am a creative person in home interiors and journalism and what a surprise it was for me to realize fashion is art as well! As a newbie in this area, I really ejoyed your video.
You hit the nail on the head with this video. I’m so confused on my personal style for the past couple years. I just couldn’t figure out what is wrong with me. I need to stay off social media for awhile except for a select few channels like yours. 😁
This might be trivial but thank you for putting images for the style of clothes you're talking about! I'm not a fashion girlie so that makes it so much easier to follow
On point! In my big age, I still love fashion and will watch fashion shows and make notes, then shop my closet to pull together an outfit! Thrifting helps me to tweak my wardrobe and find that special something that evokes a memory, or feeling. I love your think topic! It really helps me to be happy with my personal expression of who I am and desire to show the world. Thanks so much!
I’m not really a fashion head anymore but I truly appreciate this video. It made me think about the current closet I have and if I was just buying to be buying it if I actually like the pieces I own.
This is a great video. I'm new to "luxury influencing' though I'm frustrated when I see every luxury influencer pushing the same things, mostly styled similarly- even down to jewellery!! I would never want a Cartier Love Bracelet, for example. I've seen so many on other women I would never want one. I'd say that if I liked them, too. I don't want to look like other women or wear what they do. I like to look like me. It's nice to be fashionable but what's fashionable to me may not be to someone else. I have a few things in my closet that my husband and son hate with passionate intensity- and then they get angry when I'm continuously complimented for my look. It's nice to be complimented but that's not the point, at least it's not for me. If I love something and I think I look good wearing it if and if it looks like 'me' and I can I style it in my head with stuff I already own?? It doesn't matter to me one whit what anyone else thinks. If I love something and wear it with confidence I know I'm looking good because I'm feeling good with my personal style.
I’m newly subscribed. In my mid 60s. Buy too much. Too easily influenced. Love Max Mara. Love coats and blazers (I need a separate coat closet but live in a one bedroom flat - London). Now going to watch all your videos. Whilst finishing a Frida Khalo jigsaw, before returning things I don’t need!
I have watched probably hundreds of “how to find your personal style” videos, and this is the first one that finally gave me clarity and direction. You are so intelligent, insightful, and inspiring. THANK YOU!
I’ve asked this question a lot in the past few years. It’s definitely the trendiness and lack of personal style that makes me click off a video. I really enjoy the uniqueness that I would see people bring to their own look and I do feel like we’re moving too far away from it. I appreciate the desire to move the conversation in a new direction. ❤
Yes! Like Anna Wintour has all of fashion at her finger tips, but has found her personal style that rises above trends and fads. She has signature style that is timeless. I think we all need to find that place where we know what sparks joy and feel like our true selves in our clothing. The older I get, the more I’m embracing what brings me levity and joy. Cancer changes your perspective. I don’t waste time thinking about fads and trends. I want beauty and whimsy and comfort and I’m done over-editing myself so much. A little over the top is part of my essence and feels natural as I’m a Kibbe Romantic. Understanding this has unlocked so much for me. Beautiful video. Gorgeous sweater❤.
I see so many creators wearing the same thing and I’m just like where is your personal style. Literally the same pieces on every person. I don’t like it. It’s so uninspiring. Thank you for this video. It’s good to know I wasn’t alone in this thought.
This is the first video of yours I’ve ever watched and I’m so glad I did! I subscribed immediately. I am grateful for your fresh and authentic perspective. I only began exploring self presentation late in my life. The whole purpose for me was a journey of self discovery, but it’s so easy to get lost! I’m grateful for your reminder to stay true to myself, and enjoy the journey!
Trends in fashion tell the powers that be how far or easy it is to test the vulnerabilty or gullibility of certain (black, for e.g.) demographics and what the brands can get away with. Influencers make discomfort and exploitation more palatable and manageable which in turn leads to increased suffering, discrimination and divisiveness in other areas if society. Style forward people, mavericks signal someone who is aware, confident, not risk averse, a disruptor, someone not afraid to represent their authentic self without the cloak of uniformity, anonymity. Someone not easily understood, accepted, or intimidated.
This was eye-opening! I'm not a "fashion person", I can't identify a garment's designer on sight. But I do cultivate a "look". 🤔 Name it something? I call it "Mid 50s-early 60s Daytime Glam"...sans heels 👠! Think *Joan Crawford* in Royal Bay or *Ava Gardener* in Mogambo. Looks that *Marilyn* and *Audrey Hepburn* are known for, but with sneakers or flats. 🤷🏾 Why? I like the sleek lines and silhouettes of that era. In Boomerang, *Eartha Kitt* was my style muse! I thrift exclusively with my "look" in mind. I never wrote it down like that until now! Thanks for the suggestion! And I like your "only buy garments that you would have designed" idea. I appreciate all this great fashion food for thought!
Hi. I don’t normally comment on fashion content, but I liked what you had to say. My personal style is all over the place, and is based on mood. I love the styles from 30’s, 40’s and 50’s; elegant and feminine. As an older curvy plus-sized girl, I miss elegance. Great fabrics, flattering styles, and fitted garments… it’s so hard to find right now. Stretchy knits… love them. But not for a cocktail party. I also miss sweetheart and square necklines. Pinstripes, 3/4 sleeves, and A-line skirts (well, skirts in general)… My point is, fat people still want to look cute, too. I love a good floral pattern, but I do not need ginormous flowers all over the place. Don’t even get me started on prints… lol Thank you for your insightful content!
That sweater looks so good on you! Great piece. I feel like the pendulum can swing back to Personal Style and there can be a space for it among all the noise. I, personally, am aware of the trends but I buy and wear what I love and what looks good on ME. That will never be out of style in my opinion.
I love you for doing a video on this topic! For the past few years I feel like personally styled don’t exist because I constantly see most people in the same things and styles the same way. I have always been a person who love and admire people with personal style. I love going to the stores and seeing something that sparked joy in me. Try it on visualize how I can wear it and then buying it! My personal style definitely comes from that experience! I never have to follow any trends because a lot of the things that would be trending has been in my closet for years and I have been wearing because it’s part of my personal style. I respect you fully for that video because I know it must have been hard to put out being a content creator! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions on this matter!❤
When I was growing up, I got a lot of my fashion from my surroundings and peers. When you dressed outside of the trend, you were dressing "different". For example, Kanye with the polos. It was different to us but it was Boston east coast trends. I remember Seventeen magazine featuring different cities and their styles and they had my city 'Detroit' featured and I was pride. I think the mob wife "trend" has characteristics of Detroit current styles. Mind you, the mob wife trend was going on around the same time as crack in the 80s. It was the "my husband is a kingpin aesthetic" 😂. We always been pretty big on the fur coats. Dom Kennedy has a song about how he got his first fur in Detroit. I'm not saying Mob Wife style isn't NY/NJ Italian style... because it is...but unless we're bringing back leopard print coats, silk shirts with a flowy slacks, I don't think people really want to look like the 80s. You have to take the good and the bad of the 80s style otherwise it's not mob wife aesthetic. Plus anyone living below the Mason Dixie line should remove themselves from this trend. It doesn't even look right in the south.
Hi Carolyn, I think most of what you said is spot on and I agree with a lot of your assessment. One of the things that resonates with me the most is when you talked about getting inspiration from things outside of social media I really enjoy going to Vogue Runway, and looking at all the latest fashion shows to gain inspiration, I also travel and gain inspiration from traveling And seeing different wonders of the world and how people dress in different countries. Also movies that I like are always a great inspiration or just seeing some random person, truly expressing themselves in a beautiful manner is very inspiring. That being said what I don’t like is the over consumption of many of our content creators. I think it breeds a bad mental space, especially when the majority of their videos are consuming high dollar items that are out of reach for the majority of people. I can afford most things but that being said I choose things wisely and things that only serve my wardrobe. And if I’m being totally transparent, although I probably reside in the top 5% of most Americans, I even find myself being a bit envious of these huge halls and just the lack of awareness when it comes to the communities around us. There’s nothing inspirational about someone buying something every single week and spending tens of thousands of dollars, it’s fiscally irresponsible and socially inept. Thank you for being wise with your content and sharing how you navigate this fashion world. It’s truly appreciate it your keen perspective and your understanding and knowledge of the industry and not just buying a bunch of stuff because you’re trying to increase your followers. You are a breathe of fresh air, especially amongst the Black women content creators, although I try and support those I encounter I can find it a bit overwhelming with their tone deafness and unrealistic purchasing habits. I understand it’s their jobs but to whom much is given much is expected. They tend to leave their follower base behind when they start buying things that are thousands of dollars each haul. Because I travel extensively I know that most of these items cost Pennie’s on the dollar, I’m in the design and manufacturing business, it saddens me that our people are caught up in overconsumption and over paying for things that lack value and quality but I digress! I hope and wish you all the success!
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your thoughts. It is a tough space to navigate and Im figuring it all out as I go. I also agree that travel inspires fashion creativity as well. I love to travel but I also have a lot of anxiety around it too. I do hope to travel more this year so we shall see how I do with that. When it comes to the other creators, I can understand your point of view. The reality is as creators grow in the space, the opportunities flow, and the money does increase which is amazing for financial stability. The type of opportunities in the fashion content space do promote shopping. To be honest I get very excited when I brand I love approaches me with a budget to shop and then I get to share with you all. I think it's important that as consumers of content we have to make sure we have our filters on at all times. I love me a good ole haul, high or low end pricing too! However I have to make sure I breathe when Im watching so I dont go crazy buying all the things at once LOL . And I do see creators that are bigger than me and that have been in the game longer as being excited to share.
I have always been fascinated by fashion. Growing up I had my own sense of style. In High School, I never looked like the other girls. I went to a predominately female school. I was raised in Brooklyn. I would get asked if I lived in Manhattan. I have my own sense of style. I occasionally blend in some trends and fads to give a current look to my style. I wear casual chic with a flair. I would wear jeans with a long-sleeved T-shirt with feathers on the wrist. I keep updating my style every few years. There are things I don't wear any longer, for various reasons. I'm a plus-size woman in her mid-fifties. I am apple-shaped, therefore, there are things that don't look good on my frame. I am not the slim teenager anymore, my style has gotten more sophisticated since then. The oversized trend can be tricky for me. I can look bigger and frumpy if I don't pair my tops and bottoms correctly. I prefer high-waisted straight-leg pants and jeans. I use accessories to punctuate my style. I invest in quality footwear and bags (which I love Love) to keep my look fresh. Loved the video, thanks! ❤🙂🔥
Oh this is such a needed video. Trends are crazy these days with social media pushing all these trends. I think we all have to watch out for the FOMO cause we will go broke trying to be current with the “trends”. I mean quiet luxury is not a trend. There are a lot of people who dress this way and have been dressing this way forever. It’s not a trend…it is a style of dressing. Yes personal style can fall by the way side if we do not stay on top of who we are and how we live our lives. I was at a very trendy and expensive hotel in LA a couple of months ago and I saw 4 young ladies(28-35 ish) and they all looked the same. Over size blazer, a trendy handbag, it was literally a uniform. I thought it was funny since they all looked the same but I thought it was sad cause there was no ‘vibe” . You have a great perspective on fashion so keep the videos coming!
I now realise adding good quality items like a coat or pair of jeans does not mean you need to trade your personality and personal style. These things are supposed to help you gain maximum wear of your wardrobe and not make you broke in the long run chasing something youre not. I have recently made a mistake like this after being my own person for 41 years of my life. I pivoted my career and told I was too quirky and could not progress and made a change that has left me constantly dissatisfied for the 2 years. Appreciate this video alot. This was my 180 point.
I never comment!!! I'm such a RUclips birdwatcher but Girl I LIVE FOR YOU!!! Such a breath of fresh air!!! I'm 34 an having come up before social media but also the start of it has been extremely interesting to experience. My mom was a fashion merchandising student as well she would sew me outfits when I was a toddler and get get fits made for every occasion from my aunt who was a seamstress. I was the teen who hated when friends copied her lol now like you mentioned it's limited creativity when it comes to personal style and as original as I use to be I believe I got sucked in as well. So THANK YOU for the inspiration!!! To look back on my personal style and remember who I am as it relates to my personal style as well as my fashion roots! You are appreciated. God bless you!
It occurred to me this week that I want to be INSPIRED and not INFLUENCED. “Inspired’ is a creative term, “influenced” is a monetary one. when I’m inspired, I want to be a better version for the best version of myself I can be! When I’m influence, I simply think that buying something will make me be that person!
This!!! exactly!
Super statement. So true!
Oh my days this is so scary I wrote this exact phrase in my notes on New Years I wrote I don’t want to influence I want to inspire I don’t want to be influenced I wanted to be inspired. This is one of the most surreal experiences for me right now
Exactly, I've always treated and looked up to influencers as my inspiration. If I don't like something I'm not watching. Simple 😊
Incredibly insightful observation! I’m absolutely fatigued by all the influencers telling me what’s trendy, whats outdated, what’s hot…like I just want to feel inspired to create and not just buy everything cause it’s hot right now.
I think this is why I can’t get away from thrifting. As the self aware Aries I can’t stand doing things because others are doing it lol. As soon as I see too many people in it I start avoiding it
I am the same exact way. It irks my soul. I’m a Libra though.
Yes I hear you cookie ….I want to be seen but not looking like everyone else and from a distance … I am okay happy for you to comment but then walk away and let me shine… I don’t want to feel uncomfortable because I look different than most others , but it doesn’t mean I am soo extrovert I can handle all the lingering attention
I just love when you see a thriifted piece and how it should inspire you and start your mind going into how it going to work in your life. I just so addicted to searching for the finds.
thiiiiis. fellow self-aware aries here 😹🙋🏾♀
Carolyn this was so thought provoking and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I found this so interesting , I was a fashion student in the 1980s and now my Daughter is a fashion student and I find her attitude so different to what mine was . We all wanted to stand out , be different , now they all want to blend in , look like what they see on social media . I say create , don’t follow , absolutely we are all influenced by our surroundings but , hopefully those surrounding aren’t just social media . Well done you , for breaking away from that narrative .
let me ask you, was there a time where gatekeeping your fashion finds was a thing? like the joy was in the journey of locating/recreating something you were inspired by. Im a millennial but always loved fashion. I have a faint memory of this being the case but would like to confirm 😅
I don’t remember keeping places , sources to myself . I just followed my own interest , inspiration and as I said always wanted to be myself , not what other people were wearing . If I noticed others adopting my style , I would say usually I knew it was time to move on .
I was a teen in the 90s, and I would say there were some gatekeepers. Not just with fashion but with music and our favorite bands. You wanted them to become successful but you didn't want the songs to become so popular that they were everywhere and go commercial.
I think the gatekeeping kind of started ending in the 2000's with social media because now we could all look up what shoes Rihanna had on or whatever
At 70, I still love what I love and shop accordingly -I don't want to look like everybody else. You addressed STYLE so beautifully, thank you.
Yes! Do it like you want.
Exactly! I love classic and vintage, well made pieces. That’s what my wardrobe consists of.
I totally agree! Who has money to keep adding to their wardrobe every season?? Maybe a piece or two here and there. I love how "influencers" love to say what's in and out of fashion. If you find your own personal style, it becomes timeless. I think it's ok to evolve as you grow, but for the most part I know what I like and what I feel comfortable in❤
I'm actually amazed how much the exercise of imagining your own fashion collection from scratch and giving it a name clarified things for me. I get so caught up in types of fashion and what styles appeal to me when it can really just be boiled down to big boxy cuts and durable materials that just look cooler and cooler the more worn they get. It was just a lightbulb moment of "oh duh, canvas, leather, denim. Earth tones and deep saturated warm colors. Loose cuts I can comfortably move in. Big dramatic collars. No sleeves unless it's a jacket." that cut through all the noise.
Isn't it so amazing to allow ourselves to pause and get creative. your fashion collection sounds like it would be so coooool! similar to mine
I really love the humanistic approach to this video. It really brings back home how creative we were before social media and Pinterest. Allowing ourselves to get back to what we know as far as who we are and what REALLY makes us glow. I found myself getting away from what I know works for me. looking back at old pictures truly shows me what my style was and is till this day. I’m 42 and proud to say I’ve always loved easy relaxed simple clothes and interesting accessories 😊
Lately, I don't watch content from a couple of influencers I follow as often as I used to. I get a bit turned off by them because they kind of only show what they have bought, instead of giving advice about how to create your own personal style. Your video and your message are much needed. ❤️
I agree
Figuring out WHY you’re drawn to a look before trying to emulate it is so key, because then you can really let your individuality take over instead of just replicating someone else. And the tip about looking at the runway is excellent, the raw design principles of the garments really shine the most there.
Thank you for this post. I totally agree. I’m quite bored of style influencers posting the same ideas, outfits, trends, sponsored pieces. It’s gotten repetitive and boring. Styling matching sweatsuits with a long wool coat…. A button down with wide leg jeans and a sweater over the shoulders… we’ve all seen it. And the never ending “core’s”, I just can’t. I want to see fresh and new ideas… actual personal style ideas. So thank you and I’d love to see where you go with this.
I'm doing a 100 day challenge of no thrifting, no shopping and simply playing in my own wardrobe and aiming to wear and share a 100 different outfits that just make me happy. Day 20 and already feeling reenergised by what I already own. I found I was just buying more and more and not appreciating what I already have. Genuinely personal style is the best. Great thoughts here! x
This was the most intelligent, unique, and enlightening analysis of personal fashion that I have ever experienced. Ms. Carolyn is brilliant. I’ll have to watch this several times, there are so many layers to absorb. Loved it.
My mother recently passed and I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've just started a real, earnest attempt to revamp my closet with pieces that suit me on a deep level and its the most exiting process! For the first time (possibly ever) I'm starting to LOVE the clothes and shoes I have. Another interesting side effect is that I'm less and less concerned about my weight and body insecurities. I'm positively distracted by my love for the clothes.
Thank you for the video too!
Also, quality over quantity is soooo key!
My mom died suddenly in 2020 and this EXACT thing happened to me. It’s interesting seeing it written here so succinctly. ❤
I love this video because you’re not serving us monetized fish (influencing us with items) You’re teaching us how to fish ( a systematic way for us to find our own personal style and stop over consuming while moving futher and futher from feeling like ourselves)
Finally!! Thank you for speaking up! A lot of these fashion influencers seem to lack their own personal style nowadays. Everybody's channel wearing the exact same thing talking the same way about the same thing. I'm over it! what are they influencing us to do walk around looking like twins?! These fashion influencers are starting to look like robotic retail influencers not stylish fashion influencers same content,same look and no personal style. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP✋🏾
You are correct in your analysis. I am a modern man with a personal preference for the Humphrey Bogart look. Pants with pleats, clean shoes, properly laced oxford shoes, shaved with a touch of spicy fragrance. When you look good you also feel good and ready to take on the world. Best wishes.
the way you cant even go on pinterest without someone asking "What aesthetic is this?"
I’ve been struggling with this! As a curvy girl a lot of these “trends” are not flattering! So your approach is super helpful
Instant follow after this video popped up on my feed. I love how you weren’t selling me on your style or the latest style but simply talking about ways to curate your own style. Thank you, sincerely someone who has many unworn/unloved items from getting into “aesthetic” culture.
Sis i love that you made this video. I was just saying that all the content creators and influencers are influencing each other. Wearing and saying the same thing and it's getting boring. I love your unique since of fashion and it inspires me. Please continue to be unique. Everybody seems to be chasing the partnerships and not the art of true style. Most don't have it. They may have fashion, but they don't have style. I love it sis... unplug, get re-inspired and inspire us!!!!!!
I am living in a constant state of being overwhelmed with "inspiration", influence, pictures and "guidance" to what i should wear. I am watching streams like this because I really like this new notion that women AND men want to step back and get to feel, create and decide themselves what they want/ should/ can wear in society. So many things have to be considered! Like sustainability is now a huge factor for me. So I can only say you are so right with working from your inside towards what you want and need for yourself and taking a step back from all that noise!
Fashion is inate. The idea of designing 5 items and how it would look; genius!
YES. When I was a teen, I used to be sad that I could not follow one visual style, because I like things from different styles and subcultures. After a while, I realized that this is ~personal style~ and that a lot of the people I followed (the ones who had a somewhat ""unique"" style) had different influences too and did not try to fit in a box.
When you post a pic of a outfit nowdays, there are always people asking "what's this aesthetic?" bcs they think you should have one, to give them a simple answer.
I feel the over stimulation. But I also feel like I’m evolving and my style is evolving
I watch alot of Korean dramas and Korean youtubers who just walk around Korea. I enjoy watching what the people wear, and I love seeing sundresses with cute sweaters with simple low heels it's such a feminine esthetic to me. I'm going to be adapting that look for the summer.
Hi Carolyn! This is 75 years young, and I must say you did it again! What an intelligent, honest, and thoughtful video! Great job!
❤️❤️❤️
I wanted to take a moment to express my appreciation for your recent commentary. While I typically refrain from engaging on various platforms, your words resonated deeply with me, prompting me to break my silence.
Your thoughts on the overwhelming influence of certain trends and influencers in the past year struck a chord. It's refreshing to find someone who shares a similar perspective on the saturation of new merchandise and suggestions flooding the market. Your decision to shift focus towards appreciating what you already have, shopping your own closet, and embracing gratitude is truly commendable.
Your post eloquently addressed the inaccuracies and pitfalls that many women encounter, leading them into debt and fostering feelings of insecurity. It's a brave stance to challenge the status quo, and I wanted to applaud you for speaking your truth so articulately.
I genuinely hope that this year brings you the courage to continue sharing your perspective and living your most authentic life. Your voice is a valuable contribution to the ongoing conversation about self-worth and contentment in an era dominated by external influences.
Thank you once again for your thought-provoking commentary. Wishing you a year filled with authenticity, courage, and continued self-discovery.
Wow! You are an amazing writer 👌🏽👌🏽
Wow, I feel honored by your breaking of silence with me :)
Thank you for confirming me and connecting with me as well. I will say that this space can at times be hard to navigate, and I am realizing that making this video will be a new foundation for me to create from. I have a feeling it will be difficult because I am human and I still like to shop like I have several money trees in the back yard LOL but it is very important to have intention and understanding of what and how we consume. I hope I can continue to communicate that in a way that makes sense while also still having fun and feeling fabulous ! thank you again for commenting
As a diehard fashionista approaching 60, I've come to realize that mass consumption doesn't heal scars or personal insecurities. I'll always love fashion, but I'm committed to a more conscientious approach in how I consume it.
Thanks for the insightful perspective!
Omg! Boomerang is my favorite movie!
I’m not sure what my “style” is, but I loooove to see a great pair of jeans with a screen print tee and a blazer. That’s my jam.
That's legit my daily uniform lol
Such a great movie!
Yessss people feel like if you dont follow certain trends that you're not stylish or "can't dress" like chile my style is my style its been this way forever i just throw different spins on it as time goes
And let's be honest Carly. A lot of people never had personal , no shade, just truth. That's why they are so easily INFLUENCED. I LOVE THIS VIDEO.
This is one time the nosey RUclips gods got it right! I was literally standing in my closet looking at my clothes saying yo myself “who is this person?!” Nothing looked like or felt like me. Since the pandemic I am wfh. I don’t really go anywhere so I just shop and shop then never wear it because it’s REALLY not me. I’m not a girly girl but have every designer bag in my closet just collecting dust. I decided I’m going to purge and figure out my style. Turned on RUclips as background noise and you were the first video to pop up. This “Think Piece” was on point! Preciate you. New subscriber here 😊
SAME! I have so many items on Poshmark or I have donated bags of clothes and shoes. I am wfh also and I really don't go anywhere. I am in t-shirts and leggings most days. 😕
This is why the things I thrift are usually my favorite items. I got off social media (some time last year) and I’ve missed your content in my fashion girl repertoire.
This is spot on. I searched the Ralph Lauren fashion shows on RUclips and i was blown away with INSPIRATION! I pick and chose what resonates with me and am always wearing what I like. Then I see others copy it. Then I move in another direction just because I like being different & true to me
I agree that fashion trends have become very uniform and individual style has taken a back seat. I refuse to fit in , my eclectic artistic soul needs creative expression.
I have been pregnant and nursing for the past 6 years. Up and down and clothes that serve a purpose. In my postpartum low moments I have fallen for some "fads". But ultimately, I always got back to my personal style. I always love a good fabric, as a tailor, and a classic look with accent pieces. This is why I love thrifting. I love the quality fabrics and the classic looks I can put together.
“What makes ya feel good, sis??” 😂❤️ We honestly need to return to that. I didn’t know until I watched it, but this video was exactly what I needed. You successfully managed to cut through ALL of the noise on the ENTIRE internet with this perspective. Brava!! 🤩🎉
You're not influencing. You're educating, informing and sharing. What WE do with this information is on us.
Thank you for explaining the differences between fads, trends and style.
The "noise level" on social media now is, in general and of my opinion, turned up to full blast.
As human BEINGS, we're not built to absorb this kind of intensity ALL THE TIME before our nervous system literally pulls the plug and announces "I'm DONE. You need to sit your ass down and rest, relax and recharge--I'm not taking another step--I'M UTTERLY OVERWHELMED!" LOL
An example of this stress on our nervous system is how you've been getting sick when you go out. Yes, people are nasty not thinking of others etc., but even so, you've likely been burning the candle at both ends and finally got fried when they met, LOL. Yep been there, done that!!!
I'm SO glad you're honouring yourself/your system and doing what's right and healthy FOR YOU 🙂
You're a great role model by doing so--and that's ... being an authentic-styled media content creator. Well done 👍❤
PS (Check out the term "Style and Substance". It's an old saying but, as you're discovering--it never goes "out of style" 😉--I'm a 60 yr young "whitey 😂" from Canada. My screen name is a dedication to my late father. But I need to change it. Trying to find the right words. Not quite there yet. BTW, it's my 25 yr old daughter who suggested I watch this video. She was right. You're amazing :-)🥰 I've subbed!
I'm so much happier and satisfied with my personal style after getting color consultant and knowing my kibbe style. it has helped me to know what colors, styles and patterns suit me rather than following a trend that looks the ugliest on me.
So many of us are aligned to this. I currently post videos of outfits I put together from shopping my closet and they showcase my personal style - we don’t all have to be edgy or fashion forward 😉 Truth be told, if money wasn’t a factor in shopping, my style would be similar to what it is now but with a different level of quality. I really enjoyed this video! Proud cookie ❤
Back in the day I used to work on movie sets and would run around looking for items that aligned with celebrity's style aesthetic. I developed my own sense of style not by having the latest and greatest but curating my own personal style & identity. All I see now are copycats. We all look alike & have to get the same things to be cool or fit in, etc.These high end designers are making a killing off our lust for the things and they really dont want to see us in it. In comes the infuencer to help people spend money. So I adjusted my attitude and behaviors. Now I like all the things but if it does not align I have to decline.
I must say, this was the perfect conversation that most of us needed. I started this year saying I have too much stuff, I don’t need anything else and I certainly have no room. I’ve been influenced to buy things that I won’t EVER wear and I LOVE BEING AT HOME!
You’ve helped a lot of people with your honesty and vulnerability.
I feel you. Im staying home as much as possible until it gets warm LOL ! and it may be time for a purge my dear. Just face the beast and get rid of the things you don't enjoy or understand in your closet. Clear and cleanse the space.
I’ve been told I’m fashionable and based on how you defined it, I suppose I am lol. But you definitely helped me open my mind to even more possibilities as far as understanding my aesthetic. Thank you! You just gained a new sub!! 🎉🎉🎉
It has been so long since I’ve heard anyone talk with such passion and clarity about what they love in fashion and why specifically for themselves. Yes! What is the fit going to do for you when you walk?!?! Not just in a 2D posed photo
So from a senior fashion/style person I have always watched old movies from 1920-1970 the variety the style Amazing
Well said. I’m an artist and I express myself through fashion. For the most part I wear what I want….not what I’m told to wear. I don’t follow trends or fads. I have a personal style. Thanks for the distinction💐.
I'm so glad that you made this video! I feel like we are collectively going through losing ourselves to find ourselves. I have been drawing dream wardrobes since I was 6 :()! So I feel bogged down by all the boxes. Your words/thoughts are honest, fresh, exciting, and liberating! Thank you✌️💕💐
F.I.T. is my Alma mater. This is one of the best personal style talk video I ever listened to. Very honest and full of integrity. Great job Carolyn.
Absolutely love this video. I've realised I've been trying to emulate trends and what I've people wear rather than thinking about what I actually love first.
Omg !!! I have been screaming this for a good while. Everybody looks the same, clothing isn’t exciting to me anymore. So I’m in the same space of redefining my style.
The Devil Wears Prada, Clueless, Living Single, are my go to. Great content! I’ve definitely been thinking about my wardrobe and how I want to change things around.
This was needed. I am rebuilding my wardrobe after holding on to clothes for 10+ years… none of which I actually felt my best in. I’m getting a lot of inspo from Pinterest, but I find myself trying to keep up/be on trend or on brand that I have lost my personal style. Thank you for reminding me to go back to what makes me ME.
I’m so happy you said this!!! I’ve been feeling like this with personal style all the way to the way people style their homes. I always try to incorporate my own style because that’s when I feel most in tune with myself.
I think everyone is getting addicted to clicking on a link to purchase and it being at their door. Instant gratification is causing us to lose who we are to the core.
Carolyn, carolyn, thanks for your honesty, humor, and introspection. I'm over 60, but not 65 yet. Fashion is important to me. Interior design is "my my" deep thing! They really are close cousins. I have been questioning the need to have the next new thang, and the "sponsoring" to encourage more consumption. It's incredibly disturbing. I've found myself tempted to buy/ try, get subscriptions and have boxes coming monthly of clothing, makeup, perfumes... it is insanity!!! I've quit being influenced by "Influencers", but I take their talent and adapt it for my lifestyle. I sew, and am now learning to thrift for some things and alter for myself.
Thanks for encouraging others to press the reset button. Access the what's and why's and be true to yourself. And be financially astute.
I applaud you, your style, beauty, talent and evolution 🎉
Thank you for this video! I've been in such a fashion rut and the older I get, the less I like the stuff in the stores where I'm used to shopping. Between the pandemic and working from home, I've felt frumpy and out of it, and when I DO venture out, it's to stores that I probably need to stop shopping at (ie Forever 21, H&M, and Target). I think I hadn't accepted my age and that, as you said in so many words, the evolution of my lifestyle and what I feel good in. And I want to get back to the NYC girl I used to be who would buy up every fashion mag and interpret looks for myself, buy quality pieces, and enjoy mixing and matching. Love to see an elevated conversation on fashion! xo
i love the sweater. Thank you for mentioning Girlfriends. My mom's best friend was the designer on it
You are so on point with this conversation. It really struck a nerve for me as well. Because it really made me realize. That people act like sheep’s in this society these days. At the same time made me proud of myself for never following any of this stuff.
I think your channel came up in my feed because this is the conversation I am craving! Seriously! Buying "the latest thing" can't compete with investing in your personal style.
First off..shout out to Baltimore! Secondly, thanks for this Ted Talk (lol) I truly needed it. I have so much stuff and I don’t wear it. I feel like my style is all over the place but I’m going to use your tips and hone in on my personal style and what brings me joy. ❤
Aye BALTIMORE !!!!! lol yes miss mamas! get the purging and resetting your wardrobe !! thank you so much for watching and commenting my love.
This is one of your best! I so appreciated this one. I have worked in a fashion space for 18 years and never let the trends dictate what I wear or wore. I always incorporated my personal style into whatever department I worked in. I was told by my manager who is a Buyer that she’s never seen me wear anything twice. Gurl, of course I have! I just mix it up! It’s so freeing to be your unique, beautiful self! Thank you Carolyn, I love the direction God is leading you, stay the course. ❤❤❤
Literally just tweeted about how much I cannot stand copy cat culture and trends. Definitely have been removing certain pages as well. All great advice in this video.
I’m so happy I’m not the only one who thinks like this. I honestly think you have amazing style! Even if you purchased a “trendy” piece, you still finesse it your own way, YOUR OWN STYLE. I’m honored to have found you last year. A lot of people I used to watch, all started wearing the same things. Literally the exact outfits. Influencers seem to have stopped their own style, just to make the money, and sell to the masses. Thank you so very much for being YOU, for speaking up on the madness in a sea of uniformed trends. LoL - “cookie” Tanee 😉
‘90s romcoms are great for style inspiration! And Friends, of course, for everyday looks.
Thank you! I’m tired of seeing the same outfits on everybody. No one is unique anymore.
Good Lord! This was incredible! The freedom and scaling back to our core was so clutch for me. Your style of speaking and personality was so comfortable like we were just sitting together having a hey girl hey catch up! Thank you for this!
What a great review of personal style vs trends. To me fashion is wearable art and I l love dressing to show my personal style. Thank you for the review and thoughtful reminder to stay true to your own personal style.😊
I really enjoyed this "chat" and we all need a reminder to not get swept up in trends. My goal in watching articulate, knowledgeable fashion gurus like you is to develop my own personal style, so you made a lot of sense to me. I am 61 and just fell in love with fashion last year. I am a creative person in home interiors and journalism and what a surprise it was for me to realize fashion is art as well! As a newbie in this area, I really ejoyed your video.
Yessss!!! fashion is art!! I love that you are diving into it! thank you for watching the video xoxo
Gurl' you are inspiring me to take my ass back to fashion school and get my damn degree in Fashion Merchandising. I LOVE your channel.
You hit the nail on the head with this video. I’m so confused on my personal style for the past couple years. I just couldn’t figure out what is wrong with me. I need to stay off social media for awhile except for a select few channels like yours. 😁
This might be trivial but thank you for putting images for the style of clothes you're talking about! I'm not a fashion girlie so that makes it so much easier to follow
On point! In my big age, I still love fashion and will watch fashion shows and make notes, then shop my closet to pull together an outfit! Thrifting helps me to tweak my wardrobe and find that special something that evokes a memory, or feeling. I love your think topic! It really helps me to be happy with my personal expression of who I am and desire to show the world. Thanks so much!
I’m not really a fashion head anymore but I truly appreciate this video. It made me think about the current closet I have and if I was just buying to be buying it if I actually like the pieces I own.
This is a great video. I'm new to "luxury influencing' though I'm frustrated when I see every luxury influencer pushing the same things, mostly styled similarly- even down to jewellery!! I would never want a Cartier Love Bracelet, for example. I've seen so many on other women I would never want one. I'd say that if I liked them, too. I don't want to look like other women or wear what they do. I like to look like me. It's nice to be fashionable but what's fashionable to me may not be to someone else. I have a few things in my closet that my husband and son hate with passionate intensity- and then they get angry when I'm continuously complimented for my look. It's nice to be complimented but that's not the point, at least it's not for me. If I love something and I think I look good wearing it if and if it looks like 'me' and I can I style it in my head with stuff I already own?? It doesn't matter to me one whit what anyone else thinks. If I love something and wear it with confidence I know I'm looking good because I'm feeling good with my personal style.
I’m newly subscribed. In my mid 60s. Buy too much. Too easily influenced. Love Max Mara. Love coats and blazers (I need a separate coat closet but live in a one bedroom flat - London). Now going to watch all your videos. Whilst finishing a Frida Khalo jigsaw, before returning things I don’t need!
I have watched probably hundreds of “how to find your personal style” videos, and this is the first one that finally gave me clarity and direction. You are so intelligent, insightful, and inspiring. THANK YOU!
im so glad this was suggested to me. last night i was looking up how to go from tomboy to soft girl. i love the look but i love my swag more 😂.
I’ve asked this question a lot in the past few years. It’s definitely the trendiness and lack of personal style that makes me click off a video. I really enjoy the uniqueness that I would see people bring to their own look and I do feel like we’re moving too far away from it. I appreciate the desire to move the conversation in a new direction. ❤
Yes! Like Anna Wintour has all of fashion at her finger tips, but has found her personal style that rises above trends and fads. She has signature style that is timeless. I think we all need to find that place where we know what sparks joy and feel like our true selves in our clothing. The older I get, the more I’m embracing what brings me levity and joy. Cancer changes your perspective. I don’t waste time thinking about fads and trends. I want beauty and whimsy and comfort and I’m done over-editing myself so much. A little over the top is part of my essence and feels natural as I’m a Kibbe Romantic. Understanding this has unlocked so much for me. Beautiful video. Gorgeous sweater❤.
I see so many creators wearing the same thing and I’m just like where is your personal style. Literally the same pieces on every person. I don’t like it. It’s so uninspiring. Thank you for this video. It’s good to know I wasn’t alone in this thought.
This is the first video of yours I’ve ever watched and I’m so glad I did! I subscribed immediately. I am grateful for your fresh and authentic perspective. I only began exploring self presentation late in my life. The whole purpose for me was a journey of self discovery, but it’s so easy to get lost! I’m grateful for your reminder to stay true to myself, and enjoy the journey!
Your Tiffany bone cuff is actually iconic
Trends in fashion tell the powers that be how far or easy it is to test the vulnerabilty or gullibility of certain (black, for e.g.) demographics and what the brands can get away with. Influencers make discomfort and exploitation more palatable and manageable which in turn leads to increased suffering, discrimination and divisiveness in other areas if society. Style forward people, mavericks signal someone who is aware, confident, not risk averse, a disruptor, someone not afraid to represent their authentic self without the cloak of uniformity, anonymity. Someone not easily understood, accepted, or intimidated.
Totally agree. I’ve always bypassed trends and aesthetics. While they can be nice, they aren’t always “me.”
I love this sweater with the chunky silver jewelry! You are glowing in these!! ❤
This was eye-opening! I'm not a "fashion person", I can't identify a garment's designer on sight. But I do cultivate a "look". 🤔 Name it something? I call it "Mid 50s-early 60s Daytime Glam"...sans heels 👠!
Think *Joan Crawford* in Royal Bay or *Ava Gardener* in Mogambo.
Looks that *Marilyn* and *Audrey Hepburn* are known for, but with sneakers or flats. 🤷🏾 Why? I like the sleek lines and silhouettes of that era.
In Boomerang, *Eartha Kitt* was my style muse! I thrift exclusively with my "look" in mind. I never wrote it down like that until now! Thanks for the suggestion! And I like your "only buy garments that you would have designed" idea. I appreciate all this great fashion food for thought!
You spoke the truth, Carolyn! Personal style is definitely Personal. Enjoyed this video!
Hi. I don’t normally comment on fashion content, but I liked what you had to say. My personal style is all over the place, and is based on mood. I love the styles from 30’s, 40’s and 50’s; elegant and feminine. As an older curvy plus-sized girl, I miss elegance. Great fabrics, flattering styles, and fitted garments… it’s so hard to find right now. Stretchy knits… love them. But not for a cocktail party. I also miss sweetheart and square necklines. Pinstripes, 3/4 sleeves, and A-line skirts (well, skirts in general)… My point is, fat people still want to look cute, too. I love a good floral pattern, but I do not need ginormous flowers all over the place. Don’t even get me started on prints… lol Thank you for your insightful content!
That sweater looks so good on you!
Great piece. I feel like the pendulum can swing back to Personal Style and there can be a space for it among all the noise.
I, personally, am aware of the trends but I buy and wear what I love and what looks good on ME. That will never be out of style in my opinion.
I love you for doing a video on this topic! For the past few years I feel like personally styled don’t exist because I constantly see most people in the same things and styles the same way. I have always been a person who love and admire people with personal style. I love going to the stores and seeing something that sparked joy in me. Try it on visualize how I can wear it and then buying it! My personal style definitely comes from that experience! I never have to follow any trends because a lot of the things that would be trending has been in my closet for years and I have been wearing because it’s part of my personal style. I respect you fully for that video because I know it must have been hard to put out being a content creator! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions on this matter!❤
When I was growing up, I got a lot of my fashion from my surroundings and peers. When you dressed outside of the trend, you were dressing "different". For example, Kanye with the polos. It was different to us but it was Boston east coast trends. I remember Seventeen magazine featuring different cities and their styles and they had my city 'Detroit' featured and I was pride. I think the mob wife "trend" has characteristics of Detroit current styles. Mind you, the mob wife trend was going on around the same time as crack in the 80s. It was the "my husband is a kingpin aesthetic" 😂. We always been pretty big on the fur coats. Dom Kennedy has a song about how he got his first fur in Detroit. I'm not saying Mob Wife style isn't NY/NJ Italian style... because it is...but unless we're bringing back leopard print coats, silk shirts with a flowy slacks, I don't think people really want to look like the 80s. You have to take the good and the bad of the 80s style otherwise it's not mob wife aesthetic. Plus anyone living below the Mason Dixie line should remove themselves from this trend. It doesn't even look right in the south.
Hi Carolyn, I think most of what you said is spot on and I agree with a lot of your assessment. One of the things that resonates with me the most is when you talked about getting inspiration from things outside of social media I really enjoy going to Vogue Runway, and looking at all the latest fashion shows to gain inspiration, I also travel and gain inspiration from traveling And seeing different wonders of the world and how people dress in different countries. Also movies that I like are always a great inspiration or just seeing some random person, truly expressing themselves in a beautiful manner is very inspiring. That being said what I don’t like is the over consumption of many of our content creators. I think it breeds a bad mental space, especially when the majority of their videos are consuming high dollar items that are out of reach for the majority of people. I can afford most things but that being said I choose things wisely and things that only serve my wardrobe. And if I’m being totally transparent, although I probably reside in the top 5% of most Americans, I even find myself being a bit envious of these huge halls and just the lack of awareness when it comes to the communities around us. There’s nothing inspirational about someone buying something every single week and spending tens of thousands of dollars, it’s fiscally irresponsible and socially inept. Thank you for being wise with your content and sharing how you navigate this fashion world. It’s truly appreciate it your keen perspective and your understanding and knowledge of the industry and not just buying a bunch of stuff because you’re trying to increase your followers. You are a breathe of fresh air, especially amongst the Black women content creators, although I try and support those I encounter I can find it a bit overwhelming with their tone deafness and unrealistic purchasing habits. I understand it’s their jobs but to whom much is given much is expected. They tend to leave their follower base behind when they start buying things that are thousands of dollars each haul. Because I travel extensively I know that most of these items cost Pennie’s on the dollar, I’m in the design and manufacturing business, it saddens me that our people are caught up in overconsumption and over paying for things that lack value and quality but I digress! I hope and wish you all the success!
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your thoughts. It is a tough space to navigate and Im figuring it all out as I go. I also agree that travel inspires fashion creativity as well. I love to travel but I also have a lot of anxiety around it too. I do hope to travel more this year so we shall see how I do with that. When it comes to the other creators, I can understand your point of view. The reality is as creators grow in the space, the opportunities flow, and the money does increase which is amazing for financial stability. The type of opportunities in the fashion content space do promote shopping. To be honest I get very excited when I brand I love approaches me with a budget to shop and then I get to share with you all. I think it's important that as consumers of content we have to make sure we have our filters on at all times. I love me a good ole haul, high or low end pricing too! However I have to make sure I breathe when Im watching so I dont go crazy buying all the things at once LOL . And I do see creators that are bigger than me and that have been in the game longer as being excited to share.
I have always been fascinated by fashion. Growing up I had my own sense of style. In High School, I never looked like the other girls. I went to a predominately female school. I was raised in Brooklyn. I would get asked if I lived in Manhattan. I have my own sense of style. I occasionally blend in some trends and fads to give a current look to my style. I wear casual chic with a flair. I would wear jeans with a long-sleeved T-shirt with feathers on the wrist. I keep updating my style every few years. There are things I don't wear any longer, for various reasons. I'm a plus-size woman in her mid-fifties. I am apple-shaped, therefore, there are things that don't look good on my frame. I am not the slim teenager anymore, my style has gotten more sophisticated since then. The oversized trend can be tricky for me. I can look bigger and frumpy if I don't pair my tops and bottoms correctly. I prefer high-waisted straight-leg pants and jeans. I use accessories to punctuate my style. I invest in quality footwear and bags (which I love Love) to keep my look fresh. Loved the video, thanks! ❤🙂🔥
Oh this is such a needed video. Trends are crazy these days with social media pushing all these trends. I think we all have to watch out for the FOMO cause we will go broke trying to be current with the “trends”. I mean quiet luxury is not a trend. There are a lot of people who dress this way and have been dressing this way forever. It’s not a trend…it is a style of dressing. Yes personal style can fall by the way side if we do not stay on top of who we are and how we live our lives. I was at a very trendy and expensive hotel in LA a couple of months ago and I saw 4 young ladies(28-35 ish) and they all looked the same. Over size blazer, a trendy handbag, it was literally a uniform. I thought it was funny since they all looked the same but I thought it was sad cause there was no ‘vibe” . You have a great perspective on fashion so keep the videos coming!
🎀I have always worn what I personally like, regardless of trends.🎀
First of all the thumbnail drew me in. You favor Judge Lynn. Ok, I'm going to listen now.
The recommendation to watch runway shows to gain inspiration was a unique perspective, really good idea!
Personal style is more "Transitory" since it should and is based on the many roles we play in life. I love how your elaborating on this. Thank you.
Great video!! Speaking of inspired: I must know where your sweater is from??? It’s soo good. ❤
I now realise adding good quality items like a coat or pair of jeans does not mean you need to trade your personality and personal style. These things are supposed to help you gain maximum wear of your wardrobe and not make you broke in the long run chasing something youre not. I have recently made a mistake like this after being my own person for 41 years of my life. I pivoted my career and told I was too quirky and could not progress and made a change that has left me constantly dissatisfied for the 2 years. Appreciate this video alot. This was my 180 point.
I never comment!!! I'm such a RUclips birdwatcher but Girl I LIVE FOR YOU!!! Such a breath of fresh air!!! I'm 34 an having come up before social media but also the start of it has been extremely interesting to experience. My mom was a fashion merchandising student as well she would sew me outfits when I was a toddler and get get fits made for every occasion from my aunt who was a seamstress. I was the teen who hated when friends copied her lol now like you mentioned it's limited creativity when it comes to personal style and as original as I use to be I believe I got sucked in as well. So THANK YOU for the inspiration!!! To look back on my personal style and remember who I am as it relates to my personal style as well as my fashion roots! You are appreciated. God bless you!
I so agree. Personal style is definitely a struggle these days