I have long thought that the contempt, arrogance, cruelty and gaslighting from parliament and other powerful institutions within the country stem from the warped Public School system.
In that horrible atmosphere, how could they possibly learn empathy? Damaged children make for damaged adults who damage everything they touch: companies, banks, governments.
The same was said by John Mcarthur (who was held by terrorists in Lebanon for about a year).” Having gone to Public School then I could easily tolerate my imprisonment “.
@@orangefield100 I highly recommend Brian Keenan "An Evil Cradling" (1993) about their experiences being held hostage. At one stage such was his isolation he went through a death and rebirth experience which is in the book.
Absolutely - when I went to teach in a young offenders prison, the head of education was extremely surprised to find that I was perfectly ok after a tour of the prison. I realised afterwards that it was because it did remind me of both my boarding schools.
Hi , I bought the book about 30 yrs ago when it was first published . It remains one of my most treasured possessions . Brian Keenan , writer and poet.
As a privately-educated, African American woman, so much of this discussion echoes through my reflections of my educational experience; especially, the propaganda surrounding exclusivity. The very idea is predicated in disconnection with community which, I think is at odds with how educated, civilized people should relate and behave.
As a foreigner coming from a rather unhierarchical country, I am appalled. My (British) partner told me of his experience. It was a day school though, and his mother who thought getting him this sort of education would help him in life took him away as soon as it transpired he and another boy had been beaten. She was so upset that she was intrumental in making the other boy's parents take him out too (She was a fantastic woman).
As a former boarding school pupil, i want to thank you for telling this story, you have restored some of the faith that was shattered. If she is still alive, tell her how much good she did her son.
I too went to a horrific boarding school where emotional and physical abuse was common. Andrew Motion's statement that all of one's emotional resources were spent in just trying to survive, rather than being able to focus on the education, was one that I recognise completely. I will name the dreaded school here since it also made the national headlines after being featured on Panorama. It was the Royal Alexandra and Albert School, also known as Gatton Park. The reason it was featured on Panorama was that a number of its teachers had been convicted of sexual abuse - although the senior members of the school were never held to account for hiring or overlooking the abuse. If anybody is still wondering, yes the place is still open.
well of course its still open what do you expect? actual justice? oh no not for those who have connections to the wealthy and influential dont get ahead of yourself now the clogs in the rotting machine need to still keep on going to fund their hedonistic lifestyle.
My favourite comment by one of the gentlemen, was when he pointed out the ludicrousness of a private school having better sports facilities than entire towns, and the people currently in power, being unable to see that injustice and then make appropriate changes. An absolutely brilliant insight, and a deeply sad one.
I went to an all boys inner city comprehensive in the 1970s. At that time, one of the largest in the UK. Trust me, it was one of the most brutal, cruel and abusive institutions I have ever experienced. Long before the abolition of corporal punishment, the liberal use of which, from the torse, cane, slap or the oversized plimsoll administered with unimaginable force by the largest gym teacher, was the main form of control. And then there were the thug pupils, given more or less free reign to bully at will. 5 years of daily horror, only at the end which could my secondary education actually begin. British public schools are an abomination, but being a powerless, poor, physically average child in a 1970s state school was no joy either.
cruel and selfish people are within all classes all jobs. its a lack of faith. a nation with no sense of morality is a threat to itself. Morality is promoted in the 10 commandments which all Abrahamic faiths agree and believe in. Also creating a system of institutional accountability not blame. Would assist with the institutional corruption this country is afflicted with.
You are spot on A child needs the warmth of a care giver and these lot have had none Just money thrown at them so how will they know the lives of ordinary people
I went to a private all girls day school. I hated it, but was always told how lucky I was to be there. I would have given anything not to be. I saw it push favoured children and totally fail others who needed extra help. It did not equip anyone with life skills. When I did well, against their expectations, they couldn't even grudgingly acknowledge it. I vowed I would never put my own kids through it.
@@charlesbruggmann7909 because I had to go to State School when my parents moved to a different area for 2 years. An area where there were no Private Schools. I learnt more and was much happier there until they moved back and put me back into the Private School and misery.
I was also made to feel I was lucky and was given an opportunity my Dad hadnt had. I struggled to keep my head above water for three years and then floundered for the last two and my Dad unbeknownst to me had to persuade the school to even allow me to take A levels, which I did badly at. Neither my Dad or the school spoke to me about their deliberations until six months after my exams when my Dad spat it out while in the midst of a rant at me. His final word on the subject was "Well that was a f'in waste of money". Our relationship never really recovered although BS wasnt the only point of conflict.
@@ShitoryuGojuryuIt was in the UK from the early 60's to the mid 70's. I started school aged 3 at a private girls school. The only qualification required was your parents had the money for the fees. Consequently there were girls of all abilities. I stayed there until I was 11 and felt ok about it, enjoyed learning and it gave me a good grounding in the 3R's and a curious attitude to learning. I started in the senior part of the school and did first year. It was challenging, the discipline was extreme, with a restricted uniform, the length of skirts checked and measured, socks and stockings checked frequently rejected, we even had to wear special regulation indoor shoes. The compulsory gabardine coat plus velvet bowler hat marked you out for ridicule out of school, if you were brave enough to try to go into town after school and not be picked up by your parents until you were 18. I then spent 2 years at a high school in a Scottish town - the only school in the town. I had freedom to walk to school myself, I was just like everyone else, the education was just as good, if not better as we learnt practical subjects like cooking, rather than Latin. Back to the Private School, no freedom, back to public ridicule, fetched and carried by parents. Subjects all very academic, no additional needs help for friends who needed it, they ended up being persuaded to leave at 16 or being held back a year, and I really felt for them. I left with great O Levels, rubbish A Levels (because by that time I had discovered boys) and no ability to look after myself, cook properly etc. You can't eat A level Physics! Nothing I learnt at school was of any great use during my life. I did make it to Uni as a Mature Student, which I loved, but Private School I just hated it. The stigma and discipline and the teachers not caring for your wellbeing (my father died when I was 17 no one ever asked if I was ok) and not celebrating what you did unless you were the Best in your class and going to University. All I can say is choose carefully.
This lack of empathy was useful for the country when those kids grew up and were shifted to the colonies who endured the impact of their cold behaviour. Today, most of them stay in Britain, so their citizens are the ones who suffer the consequences being led by callous individuals.
i remember as a teenager a boarding college lad asked me where i was boarding, to which i replied, `my parents loved me so they kept and reared me themselves`. I think he got my point.
Bit nasty when rich poor kids already fostered on nanny for years.dont let private school receive charity status and stop providing child benefit to them that can afford private.private schools only place I've seen kids learn etiquette and pride in one appearance and extra curriculum so good couldn't afford otherwise.my kids had a mix and ppl always pointed how well they presented verbally n appearance.education standard at times was no better than state.
@joprocter4573 Good heavens, man (or woman): what a long run on sentence. A suggestion: separate your writing in to individual thoughts. Then assemble those distinct items into groups of similar items, and then aim to express each one a separate sentence. Good luck! And blessings.
@@adad1270 in today's world if you are not accepting received wisdom Google will leave out words and thoughts that make a sentence cogent, indeed that make a sentence at all. And even after your editing, change your words to make you look ignorant , or simply shadow ban and your content. The monitors make a science out of confusing homonyms. The paragraph you object to has periods but no initial caps. That may occur when Google does not give you access to a keyboard without your trying different workarounds, or insert.other characters right in front of characters HR capitalized when editing Google will also let you dictate commas or punctuation and then delete or replace correct punctuation and insert something worse. The program frequently doesn't know the difference between there, their and they're. Yeah we're supposed to be waiting for them to deliver likely lethal self-driving cars to operate in all conditions including fog and when roadway markings are covered with snow. Not everybody has the stomach for the various workarounds used to get a disagreeing comment inserted -- without it being abridged and made incoherent. The entry criticized is not one that I agree with but it seems to be opposite to the majority of comments. If you can ignore the lack of initial caps, you'll probably see sentences. Also if someone writes a comment that is too long it will quickly get shifted over to top comments where it will not likely get noticed or read. If it's really long it will earn some phrase indicating that it represents an illogical or unsubstantiated argument. You can remove the lowest paragraphs in the old fashioned newspaper inverted pyramid editing Style that was developed for typesetters using lead linotype and later used with so-called cold type
I was 6 years old when sent to boarding school. I became mute during my time there to avoid trouble. Miles from home, I had no idea why I couldn't see my mum and dad. There was elocution lessons and silk serviettes. I thought I'd been sent to prison and I didn't know how to articulate my fears. I was lucky that everyone was very protective of me and was only there for three terms. My parents recognised a distress that I could find no words for at the time
@jennyoshea1 and @sarahsue42 And here's another hug for the 6-year old in you, Jenny! And I'm reminded of a book by President Jimmy Carter's Evangelist sister (RIP), who would hold prayer sessions where she invited Jesus to accompany those present in reliving past traumas, but with His loving support & guidance bringing healing. Good luck, & blessings!
My cousin went to a boarding school for girls. Ran away at 15 because it was living hell. I genuinely feel so sorry for anyone who's been through that system.
Suddenly, I realise: how will the men have empathy for anybody's suffering, when the suffering endured by the little boys they used to be was never considered, empathised with? Instead, they were told it was their fault they were feeling bad and should just stop it...That accounts for the "Lifestyle choice" remarks by Braverman, 30p Lee and co: these people want to be members of the charmed circle, so they double down on the public schools message. Abominable.
I would guess that those who think it’s okay & even funny to set light to £50 notes in the face of a homeless person are missing a few brain cells and therefore devoid of common sense
No. They are taught to consider those not of their class as,little more than livestock. I always smile wryly when some van driver from Essex espouses that Boris is a good 'un and would go for a pint with them.
I do not know those scenes or people as described . For me burning £50 notes & gloating in front tof homeless rough sleepers is vulgar & unkind . The least one could do is to offer food , soft drink & a referral to places where they can wash , be clothed & sheltered overnight .
I got a tour of Eton about 15 years ago, I saw a number of very "unhappy" youth, they seemed about 14 or 15. It got to the point that I commented on what I was seeing. The man giving the tour admonished me that they knew what they were doing as they've been about it for centuries. I promised myself that I would NEVER put my own child into such a sterile environment.
Sending young children to boarding school is a posh form of putting them in care. As a mental health professional I have worked with both public school educated and care leavers. The overlap in psychological injury is telling. Children need to be nurtured, receive affection and most importantly have healthy, nurturing attachment relationships with parents. Institutions cannot provide this.
I went to boarding school and that's obviously beyond ignorant. Maybe get some experience before forming a embarrassing low capability to use critical thought.
@@gman509 hit a nerve there did we being compared to a care kid? Also if you are referring to me, I do use critical thought. I chose not to get the vaccine but I bet you did! Tell me I’m wrong? I don’t just go along with everything I am told but I bet you do! Also the above commenter has got experience so it’s you that’s ignorant. And also if you went to boarding school you should know that it is ‘an’ embarrassing and not ‘a’ embarrassing.
It is actually worse than being in a care home for children. There is a better adult staff to child ratio in a children's home than in a boarding school and they attend local schools in the community alongside children who live with their parents. That's why the ex boarders in the last Tory Government wanted children locked up in state run boarding schools 52 weeks of the year. Keep them away from the rest of society.
It's all sounds like a kind of institutionalized PTSD. Like trauma was the point, not education. Like an expensive residential school, except they were creating posh government automatons, instead of beating the Indian out of a bunch of Rez kids.
But they never will, will they? Because if you're that type of British person who sends your offspring away to a public school, you know better don't you? The British upper class will never lose their arrogance....
Much of this just makes me sick. Yes, I went to one of these boarding schools and it was as awful as described, but I revolted. I fought back. I refused to take the bullshit dished out to me. The result was that I was beaten black and blue, of course. I once held a record at my school: the most beatings in one term (46, if I recall - about 4 times a week). I was also beaten by the prefects, the seniors, and just about anyone older than I was. But it never stopped me. Years later I remember meeting a man from my school who remembered me as the fellow always on detention, always gardening (a punishment) and always standing up and objecting to collective punishments (and getting punished for it). He just thought me a nutcase. No-one ever DID anything. What gets me is that there are so many men out there now bleating about how horrible their school experience was, but I can't remember any of them EVER doing anything about it. Even as children they lacked the courage to do anything except bleat. And "leadership"? Oh, those schools taught leadership alright. How to shine in the eyes of your superiors, while stabbing your colleagues in the back and beating up anyone less powerful. This is the "leadership" that we see all around us: in politics, in society. Bah, they can all go *&^%$%#$*(^&)(*)_(
Sounds horrific. But I dont think anybody bleated about it while at the school in fact a stiff upper lip and carrying on was all part of the ethos. Parents should have done something about it but complaining to them was also taboo.
Even before this starts….I’m 76 and this still hits raw nerves: what I went through is just as typical as the horror stories you hear everywhere; sadistic prefects, a really nasty headmaster, abusive teachers. God knows how we all survived without being turned into younger carbon copies of them :-) I left with a plummy accent and a determination never to put my children, if and when I had them, in any institution like my prep and public schools. They also made me a Labour voter for life…so some good came out of it :-)
Have you read the book 'sad little men' that was published a few years ago? It might be worth a look... Edit: I was commenting before listening too. I see the author of the book I mentioned is one of the interviewees.
Sixty two here. I went to a minor regional one which was very proud to have been founded in the fifteenth century. It too was hell. And bullying was accepted. It’s emotionally damaging to children to be dumped like that. I’m definitely not… “complete”? Even after all these years. Oh, and a Labour voter too!
Thanks for the reply :-) it’s comforting to know that you’re one of many isn’t it….not that you want anyone else to have gone through that! And the fact that you are so much younger than me makes it so depressing that you had to suffer 14 years or so later than I did. There were boys in my school who went through an even worse ordeal than I did. My worst ordeals were at the hands of the headmaster. If you ever saw the film called ‘If’ where a boy get caned by a prefect who runs up and thrashes him? That happened to me 3 times: twice with 3 thrashes and once with 6 thrashes. I had blood running down the back of my legs after the worst event. Utterly wicked way to treat young boys….I think I was 13 at the time. Thing is I could never have told my parents because I’d have got the same treatment by my father who would have punished me because the headmaster had :-)
@@trevfindley I haven’t read it and I’m lucky enough to have a faith that has sustained me and enabled me to forgive those who meted out such cruelty. It was an awful time though and it’s left me with a passionate belief that children need love and encouragement to grow and flourish. I am truly lucky that I was able to understand and come to terms with what happened to me and I totally get how others struggle with similar experiences or end up repeating that behaviour themselves….my father and grandfather also went through public schools but my wife and I made sure that never happened to our children.
@@tonyaustin4472 sounds like it probably wouldn't contain any huge revelations to you, but it is an excellent book - and very specific and lucid in how it apportions blame to the overbearing institutional structure of the schools themselves rather than the many and varied tyrants that each one may or may not have harboured...
England is a class based place where aristocracy and those snobbish of a middle class support the status quo. Europeans have dropped their Von's and De so and so's. Britain lives in another century of acceptable inequalities and funds it. British people are deferential to those 'born to rule' and the working classes are as Kant would say, 'politically immature'. Britain has become a de-regulated, low cost, low caring business, akin to a 19th Century workhouse for too many.
On the contrary, the 'working class' have challenged authority over centuries, which is why the English had rights early not found elsewhere. Slavery and Serfdom disappeared early. The Peasants Revolt, the political movements of the Levellers, Diggers, Chartists, the Labour movement. No bloody revolution like Russia or France, the development of constitutional monarchy, which turn out to be one of the most stable forms of government, and avoiding extremity in political movements such as Fascism and Communism and the horrors that unleashed globally. Do you see those political movements and oppression as 'politically mature'?
And most ironically, Mrs Thatcher was one of those Tories who seemed to have pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps. She and her followers then made it harder for others to do ßo.
Have Allways thought that having a Private Education, Does NOT make a person clever, intelligent, able or accomplished, it simply means they have HAD a VERY Expensive Education and been indoctrinated into the mantra that THEY are Superior to the plebs who are outside of that privilege....and should be treated as such.
@Pauld42 There was an interesting item on U-tube watched yesterday with Two Private school boarders, one of whom, Former Poet Laureate Andrew Motion....He said just that about Shutting down Emotional development....They both said that Public Schools formerly had a discipline Break the child to make the child FIT to be a Servant of the Empire and send them off to Rule...And nothings much changed, Except with NO Empire now....Those people are here instead!
I'm sorry to hear that. My mum was an alcoholic and having to send all her three sons to BS all of whom were unhappy at going made her worse. I never brought it up afterwards as I knew she felt guilty about it.
@@tomfaulkner2055It is not normal to distance yourself from your children especially at a very young age. Need to live in a family set up. Preferably their own.
The discussion of the damage to intellectual, as well as social/psychological development is extremely valuable. To become a person preoccupied with avoiding punishment at the expense of actual learning - not to mention empathy + moral courage/conviction - explains SO much about the behavior of politicians, educators, the legal profession etc.
THIS is where so many of these people who are so eager to be liked and never risk anything major to make progress possible comes from. To have your mind " frozen over" + to develop a devious aspect to your personality due to a preoccupation with avoiding punishment is shockingly awful. Pursuing success with the wrong underlying motive is a path to nothing good.
Also five times more damaged leading to drugs and rent boys and generally a debased life .Perfect for looking after the day to day running of the country.
Having lived in Australia the system of schooling there is very similar and with similar consequences, Melbourne private schools breed the most obnoxious people you would ever want to meet.
The worst 5 years of my life at private boarding school. I got out of it as soon as I could at 16. Looking back some of the teachers were really weird and some of them beat boys for minor offences and drew blood. What is the cost of lost talent and productivityof those who went to state school and didn't have the job opportunities open to private school graduates?
@@robertbarrett2494 look no further than than public schools make up 7% of the school population and when I was at school 70% of Oxbridge students. Even now it is 50%.do you think Cameron and Johnson could have monopolised their leadership of the Tory party if they didn't go to Eton?
Many people hated school, whether fee-paying or a state school. It's incredibly naive to say that you have love in your life if you go home each evening. I was terrified of my father and would have done anything to be away from that environment.
It was hard enough having problems adjusting to BS but when it just made problems at home worse then on one level being at BS was an escape from those intractable domestic problems. More likely to have love at home than BS although not a given I agree.
Your father, My mother. My mother shook me until I passed out 3 different times as an infant. She was always shaking me as a child. I always wanted to go to boarding school to get away from the abuse, but at that time, I had no idea how much abuse happened at boarding schools and how the establishment was abhorrant to stop it and was really apart of the problem until I went to a school up North that was not a boarding school, but I was bullies and the teachers had the audacity to call it love! Even the music teacher bullied me. This is when I realized that at a boarding school, I would be trading my mother for many fools with tools.
It seems to me that we are here to be the best we can be: by that I don’t mean necessarily to be what this world accepts as being a success ie rich/ powerful/ famous etc. To be the best we can be means, to me, to be a compassionate, kind, tolerant, gentle human being….to be that amongst our fellow, equally flawed brothers and sisters, is being the best we can be. If like so many of us you’ve had a rough time of it as a child, from parents or a lack of them, from school, from work or from the world at large; then you have gift that others haven’t had, you know what it’s like to feel that hurt. Turn that experience on it’s head and use your compassion in the way you live with others. There’s literally no better, wiser life you can aspire to….and the peace and joy you will feel outstrips and amount of money or power you could possibly imagine. People will scoff at this I have no doubt, and that that only proves that I am right :-) Use the experiences you’ve had for good and you’ll find the hurt you suffered will diminish like dew in the morning.
The problem with privately educated people is their incompetence and inability to problem solve large scale infrastructure problems etc. Its always going to be beyond them.
Which begs the obvious question......Why are these very exclusive and expensive institutions called `Public Schools` when they are totally closed to the real public people? They are Private Schools and the free institutions are Public Schools for the commoner, surly! It must be a very British thing because it makes no sense what so ever!
Maintaining the status quo relies on problems 'not' being solved.....!!!! If a Politician comes in and solves all the problems its game over and they do think they are playing a game .....
I don't know how the School that I attended would have compared to Spencer's school, but it was a boy's boarding prep school setup for getting kids through common entrance, which I didn't do, but instead I went back into the state system. I remain scarred for life.
I could only listen to the first 3 minutes then I had to stop because it was so excruciatingly sad to listen to Andrew’s recollection of being taken to boarding school. I don’t think I could manage to hear anything worse. I just hope that all the men who went through this torture have managed to get their life back together and not too badly damaged.
''I was just a child...'' at the age of six and a half I was sent away to board - it was not so much a home as a prison and it left deep psychological scars. Having had such thoughts and feelings, I have now 'dropped out' of the whole performance!
An interesting conversation would be one that had a working class man, being put through the worst performing state schools and living in the 'care' system talking about their life experience of education and neglect alongside these chaps.
My ex boarded at public school from the age of 5. He's so emotionally messed up, but lives around working class people to feel important and special. I'm from US. I had no idea about public schools before coming to the UK. Very disturbing.
Thee is a further problem with public schools. Their teaching steers pupils to arts degrees so the people running the country as politicians, civil servants or business leaders are scientifically illiterate. They are unable to evaluate projects related to infrastructure, utilities or defence and are reliant on expert opinion that is often influenced by the businesses involved.
Some of them ARE "survivors"...truely some of them endured horrors.These men are simply sharing their experiences,they are not trying to justify or say its OK we have such elite schools that privilege few in society. Some of them endured unimaginable horros that you would not wish on anyone...horroric abuses of every single kind,abandoned by parents and left to fend for themselves often in harsh unloving environments.
@@charlesbruggmann7909she fit right in though - I guess prep schools aren't the only source of entitled idiots, but regardless of source,we should stop electing them!
@@mandriod5255 exactly. Oxford PPE is an extension of this exact system. Also - most of the think tank gouls who dictated her policies were bound to have been privately educated...
Looking in from abroad, it is very pleasing to see this obvious reality called out so eloquently and effectively. When Britain had half the world’s resources to pillage, blustering, self important scoundrels were quite an adequate ruling class. Competence was not essential when there was such a glut of other people’s resources to waste whilst still reaping obscene gains. Now, without its empire, the outside world is in wonder at how such a class of cowering, incompetent déplorables can be staffing Britain’s halls of power. With no industry to speak of, reduced trade and diminishing relevance, it does not auger well for the country’s future, even in the short term.
parliament seems to be a dumping ground for them. the ease with which they are able to get in is staggering. look at Cameron, not even elected , yet a government minister.
Like most of the people who have commented here, I went to not one, but two boarding schools. I was rebellious and to avoid expulsion from the first, was sent to a less 'military-type' of school. It was, without doubt, much better. I have since come to the conclusion that private schools should be illegal. If every child in the UK had to go to a state school the MPs would do all they can to make sure that state schools are excellent in every way. State schools would have to give children a good academic education as well as being able to trust other people (something you learn not to do in boarding school). Simply put, youngsters would finish school with less snobbism, more open mindedness, better disposed towards others (whoever they be), more faith in a just world and more inclination to make it a fair and just world for all of us.
A good discussion. Some commenters here state that boarding school turned them into Labour voters, but they are clearly the exception to the rule. They may recognise that they will never really know what it is like to be from the other side of the tracks and that their education DID surmount hurdles they would otherwise have faced. I went to a boy's grammar school which copied many of the characteristics of the "public school" system, yet I grew up in an industrial county town so knew more people who were down to earth, working in manual jobs, many skilled and highly intelligent with surprising hobbies and interests. I personally believe that the boarding school system has largely lost its former ostensible values of inculcating a sense of duty for the service of the country. It did grow after all to produce young men who would serve the Empire. Parents nowadays send their children because the connections will open doors to their children becoming "winners" at the expense of the interests of the wider society and economy. The more elite of these schools were always breeding grounds of political bigotry, social snobbery and personal insensitivity. There can always be good and bad people from any background, but it seems that these schools suppress pupils' emotions to encourage dissimulation. In the 70s it was felt that the British class system would fade, but since then the social divisions have become more stark. We are going backwards. The biggest obstacles to a more equitable society are the right wing owners or controllers of the mainstream media, most of whom including the editors and senior writers come from the same background which is highly destructive to the common good. Finland has the best education system in the world and has no private schools.
This school model was exported to other countries like South Africa where we still have these schools, still instilling these values of exclusivety etc. Where there are parents absolutely bankrupting themselves to send their kids there hoping that it will give their kids some kind of "edge"
Parents had choices. Those fathers who sent their sons to these schools most likely went to the same school themselves. That's how the system works. They knew what was going on. They were quite prepared to allow their children be part of it. Can't feel sorry for people who are part of the ridiculous feudal system that we still have in this country.
Because they don't know how to raise children beyond the age they were sent to boarding school as they had no parent role model then. There is one matron per school and one housemaster or housemistress per 50 children so the children are raising themselves. Amelia White went to boarding school at 11 but was determined to send her daughters to state day schools. She found raising daughters from the age of 11 perplexing as she wasn't allowed to be feminine in her school.
The Reign of King and Queens should be over. The RF are not what any citizen or society should be looking up to or curtsy to or admired. There has to be an end to this and if not for the citizens then for the current children of the monarchy sake.
I've always found the English need for a stratified society interesting, and the fact that millions of plebs happily look up to and abase themselves to their 'betters' puzzles me. Even the language that has evolved and never been dropped is ridiculous, when you think about it: people are 'majestic, majesties' for example. What was majestic about your late Queen (or her son)? A very ordinary little woman, and now a very ordinary little man are majestic? A duke is 'your grace', however lacking in grace he may be. The most dishonourable people are honourable? A nation clinging to past glories needs to finally grow up and accept the new realities.
@@margaretcaine4219At least the Queen was educated by private home tutors. But she made the mistake of sending her children to boarding schools from the age of 8 and a long way from London.
I didn't go to a boarding school but I went to a private school on a scholarship. I didn't enjoy it but I would take issue with some of the claims made about them: I don't buy the idea that they have some magical ability to get top results, for example that the teachers are always better (some are great of course). Quite clearly the issue is that they use entrance exams to select for the brightest kids and then those kids study in a strict environment. Their parents also usually have high expectations. Quite obviously given the state of the country, it's pretty clear that those chaps who've been through those places have failed the great majority of us. And therein lies the trouble: social class - this country is uniquely poisoned by it in the Western world and I don't know what we do about it. At my private school the feeling in the air was that we were "better" than other people at the same time as there being a lot of fear of those people who went to comprehensive schools. Not exactly a healthy way to live. When I mixed with people who had gone to ordinary schools I found them to be far more trustworthy and down to earth. I have to say I really do think it was a huge mistake for the Left to turn against grammar schools
Yeah, I absolutely cannot make sense of the contempt for grammar schools. There are certainly some problems with them: The ability of wealthy families to buy their way into the catchment area. The blunt instrument of branding a child based on a one-dimensional score at a young age. But the solution to these problems is not just _"Shut them all down"._
@@andybrice2711The case against grammar schools is absolutely rock solid. They entrench privilege and shut off social mobility. The evidence is simply irrifutable.
Parental pressure is it's own thing, of course. I went to a state school, but I do recall hearing a conversation between a head of department and new teacher in advance of a parent's night along the lines of "you'll not hear parents asking why their children have so much homework, you'll get asked why they've got so little".
I have no opinion about grammar schools, having grown up in a very egalitarian country, but the rest of your post is great and tallies with what I experienced when meeting public school alumni.
I agree with you. Another benefit of withdrawing taxpayer funding from non government schools would be the ending of the physical isolation of children from different religious backgrounds from each other. I've been reading about what is taught (indoctrinated?) in some Muslim schools in Britain and elsewhere. If the Catholics, Jews and others suffer financially from a tightening of the public money supply they currently enjoy, so be it. The government needs to be much stricter in enforcing the national curriculum and religious studies should be monitored closely to ban the teaching of fundamentalism.
It is high time that private school students (6.5 percent of the school population) were limited to 6.5 percent of places at Oxford and Cambridge. They used to take a whopping 60 percent plus of Oxbridge places. This is now down to 32 percent of places but that still means that private schools are taking far more places than any real intellectual merit could possibly justify. A 6.5 percent limit would be simple to legislate and would profoundly improve the future health of the UK
You shouldn’t take that simplistic attitude…there are lots of folk who went to public schools came through it with a utter determination to treat children for the treasured blessing they are. It made me a lifelong socialist and I’ve been a Labour supporter my whole adult life. It’s not where the child was sent; it’s how the adult behaves that counts.
It was brutal tearing children away from their families at such a formative young age, but it does teach you to toughen up and grow up quickly, you learn not to trust, and be defensive, keep your head down. These establishments were far from comfortable or privileged materially, they were dilapidated, cold and food was barbaric. Waking up in dorms with ice condensation on the inside of the windows enabled you to draw pictures and cartoons of deans and masters you did not like. There were loads of bullies of all types, and plenty of criminal pervs among the staff. The movie lord of the flies depicts the rule of savages quite well. We didn't sent our children to boarding school, so at least this particular cycle is broken.
I used to feel like I was taking school home with me because of all the homework. My too closest friends lived near the school so visiting them meant going near the school when it was closed. I lived on a route home from school so even an hour after getting home the kids who had been in detention or at football practice were walking past our home.
A couple of years back The Guardian allowed the headmaster of Eton College an opinion piece to hymn the joys of private boarding schools. The next day unsurprisingly saw a flurry of letters taking issue, with one succinctly pointing out that it had been three ex-pupils of Eton who had brought our country to the brink of civil war. I think he meant David Cameron, who called the Brexit referendum for party political purposes, and Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg who promoted it.
Do you mean Trendy Hendy ? He is dead eager to bring that with Star Academy sponsoring 6th form academies . The 5th formers need help to qualify f 6th form .
@lemsip207 Boarding is not f everyone . Day schooling is on offer among many independent schools . Westminster & St Paul's Schools have day facilities . WinChester is taking in day pupils , not only daughters of staff .
I went to Oundle in the late 1990s, a truly shocking place. Drug use, horrific pain felt by those who couldn't 'stand up' and hopelessly, useless, in bred types with zero capability but lots of money. 30 years on, many have now failed in life or are trying to make it based on their relationships - they are too a victim of the system. It needs to change to meet the needs of a modern day world, they will say they are changing but my experience of Oundle and my knowledge today tells me they are still hiding what really goes on. What Charles Spencer described was, and still is, widespread.
My brother got a scholarship to Oundle in the 1960s. My mum and dad decided not to send him because they'd miss him, he'd miss home, and they felt me and my brother would miss him too. It sounds as though he dodged a bullet. Hope you're ok x
I managed to get out and am absolutely fine, many others are not. Many, many incidents are hidden from view, the reputation of the school must be protected at all cost. The Worshipful Company of Grocers, (the governing body), has long tendrils and complaints and appeals are not visible, as they should be. Your parents made the right decision. @@nicolab2075
I live near Oundle and know several people who teach or have taught there, and people who were pupils there. It is Co educational now, and there is a much stronger emphasis on pastoral care.
@@willowtree9291 It was coeducational when I was at Oundle. We were also told pastoral care was important. It has probably changed now, but this will be more a result of the vast electronic surveillance that exists rather than any policy or leadership changes I would expect. Drug and alcohol abuse is still widespread as you would expect with pupils having cash and access to the travelling suppliers who frequent Oundle.
Listened to the audible, it was horrific, well done to Charles Spencer for writing it. There was me thinking he had the best of everything and was so privileged in every aspect of life, this made me see he wasn’t but also what a strong character he is too survive the torment
Unfortunately child neglect, brutality and abuse happened in all societies in UK and Ireland back in the day... Catholic Church in Ireland is another example.
I know the Jesuits and Benedictine’s were only following the English model in Ireland and that the French and German provinces of those orders are pioneers of liberal progressive education - but Belvedere, Clongowes, Glenstal etc are carbon copies of Stonyhurst and Ampleforth - themselves just romanised versions of Eton and Westminster. There’s a lot of decolonisation Ireland hasn’t done, at least possibly because of the ongoing influence of those schools
My father had a hideous time at boarding school but fell for the fallacy of gradual improvement and my parents sent me nonetheless. I think it's a mistake to imagine that boarding schools have improved or could ever do so. The potential to do life-long damage to children is intrinsic to the system and doesn't require overt child abuse to inflict that damage. Separate a child from their parents, place them in an environment without love and where the expression of emotion is dangerous, tell them they're special in a thousand unfounded ways and you will always be left with emotionally confused, defensive and entitled adults. It has taken me at least twenty years of therapy to decompress, reflect and feel the impact of what happened to me at one of England's "top public schools". The men-children we see at the top of our institutions are the product of a system that gives no place to the notion of emotional literacy; how could it, its pupils learn to bury their emotions on day one. Their very survival depends on it.
The other people who suffer consequences are the millions of educated people who come out of state schools suffering from an inferiority complex or burning with anger at inequality and the injustice of their childhood lot.
Still better than most state schools offer. Most of the privately educated people I’ve come into contact with, are happy and grateful that they have landed great opportunities. The “born to rule” set will always come out on top, a bit of VAT won’t bother them in the slightest.
I’m subscribing these topics are fascinating as we have an assumption about people that attend these schools - it’s an amazing insight and I will be buying the Spencer’s book. It also explains why buffoons are running the country into the ground.
Wonderfully erudite and emotionally aware perspectives, thank you. Living in England for several years I found the emotional cauterisation seemed to leak down to people who hadn't even attended private schools. It seemed that all education was still 'empire-positive', creating another level of emotional ignorance as to the destruction and pillage of people, place and things to build such wealth and 'aristocracy'. So glad to see this house of cards falling; the reclamation of self, hearth and heart which is everyone's truly sovereign right. 🙏💚
Many true points made I flew 5000 from my family Southern Africa to my School in 1967 in Ramsgate. growing up very fast. I was 12....The film IF 1968 summed a lot of it up.
“When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful A miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical And all the birds in the trees, well, they'd be singing so happily Oh, joyfully, oh, playfully watching me But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible Logical, oh, responsible, practical And then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable Oh, clinical, oh, intellectual, cynical” 🇬🇧🧟
Treated so badly so badly they have no clear tool that's why they cruel to people they were cruel to them and that okay to be cruel to people if you'd send your childhood willing school you don't love them that's that's the thing very evil people
As a possible counterpoint: Peter Cook, Richard Ingrams, Ian Hislop and most of Private Eye/‘The Establishment’ are products of Prep Schools/Oxbridge. And not to forget Andrew Marr.
I went to a public school and benefitted from good teaching and exposure to richer experiences than I could have ever had at home. Learning to find one's way in a social situation not dominated by parents was more useful than stressful. I did not come away having any ambitions to impose my view on the world and I suspect 90% of my fellow students thought the same. It is a pity no one was invited to take part in this discussion to defend the positives. It is political necessity apparently to find someone to blame for the sad state of society today.
@@patcampton7163 It is difficult to say but it put me on a track that was totally beyond the experience of family and friends.Maybe that would have happened anyway.
It's been well known for years. Boarding school's for boys are a nightmare and should be stopped. Its the class system keeping up with each other. Revolting.😢
My time at boarding schools was both traumatic and sometimes enjoyable. I enjoyed the sport and the poetry I was introduced to and I still do. I have a disability now call dyscalculia, the numericlal form of dyslexia, neither of which were known in the 50`s & 60`s. I was bullied by certain teachers as a result, which pushed me into despair. I can never forget the sense of liberation I felt as I walked out on the last day. It takes a strange kind of teacher who ends up teaching in them. That is not to say that none of them were inspiring because a few were. I remember one boy was beaten at least once a week, but he was an exception.Prefects were oftern despised as crawlers. A good deal of time was allocated to private study, known as prep. And friends were important. Classes were small so you got more attention than would be possible in state school. They produced comparatively better results than average. If you wanted a place at top Public Schools, you needed to get an average above 60% in the all-subjects Common Entrance exams. The point is that people who can afford he fees, are themselves to some extent successful and they know other people who have also developed successful careers. So the kind of things that were discussed at home could be educationally valuable. Probably at some schools boys are encouraged to believe that they are likely to meet with success in life. But school is only part of life. OK, maybe 60%. What matters is the cultural enrichment you got at home in the holidays.
Once the Tories have been defeated in the next election we have to work on getting rid of the reasons for Toryism. Banning non-state schools (private/public whatever you want to call them), would be a good start. Finland banned non-state schools because they create and maintain divisions in society. Finland now has the best state schools in the world, and the most egalitarian society in the world.
There is a great book called, I think, “Boarding School Syndrome” that delivers into the mental health issues associated with the private school system. Appalling - for the kids and for the rest of us
" Private school " at Eton & Harrow is a term f prep school . Education f under 11 is primary-education level & f over 11 is v early 2ndary-education level . 12 yr olds are learning how to do Common Entrance (CEE ) papers f entry into the selective schools of their parents' or guardians' choice . Eton & Harrow are English public schools with a global catchment area . Their level of education is 2ndary-education level . 6th Form is advanced 2ndary education level & its entry requires a particular number of subjects at partucular grades of 2ndary education exams .
I have long thought that the contempt, arrogance, cruelty and gaslighting from parliament and other powerful institutions within the country stem from the warped Public School system.
It's getting worse and worse since corporal punishment was banned. These are super privileged children who need to be taught a bit of humility
Met a lot of them whenI moved to BT in London in the 1980s arrogant people. Totally unacceptable.
It appears you were 💯% correct.
Me too.
In that horrible atmosphere, how could they possibly learn empathy? Damaged children make for damaged adults who damage everything they touch: companies, banks, governments.
When Oswald Mosely was thrown in prison in WW2, he remarked that prison was a breeze for someone who had been to English public school.
Ditto prison - there used to be a table for Old Etonians at Wormwood Scrubs.
The same was said by John Mcarthur (who was held by terrorists in Lebanon for about a year).” Having gone to Public School then I could easily tolerate my imprisonment “.
@@orangefield100 I highly recommend Brian Keenan "An Evil Cradling" (1993) about their experiences being held hostage. At one stage such was his isolation he went through a death and rebirth experience which is in the book.
Absolutely - when I went to teach in a young offenders prison, the head of education was extremely surprised to find that I was perfectly ok after a tour of the prison. I realised afterwards that it was because it did remind me of both my boarding schools.
Hi , I bought the book about 30 yrs ago when it was first published .
It remains one of my most treasured possessions .
Brian Keenan , writer and poet.
As a privately-educated, African American woman, so much of this discussion echoes through my reflections of my educational experience; especially, the propaganda surrounding exclusivity. The very idea is predicated in disconnection with community which, I think is at odds with how educated, civilized people should relate and behave.
Well said.
Yes, that's the idea.
As a foreigner coming from a rather unhierarchical country, I am appalled. My (British) partner told me of his experience. It was a day school though, and his mother who thought getting him this sort of education would help him in life took him away as soon as it transpired he and another boy had been beaten. She was so upset that she was intrumental in making the other boy's parents take him out too (She was a fantastic woman).
As a former boarding school pupil, i want to thank you for telling this story, you have restored some of the faith that was shattered. If she is still alive, tell her how much good she did her son.
Beaten f wrong reason
or too close to being used as a measure of 1st resort
& not as last resort ?
Partner? Business partner? Use adult language. Ugh! PC, woke nonsense.
@@andreaslind6338 Sadly, she is no longer alive, but my partner is a great guy, thanks to her and her husband.
@@robertbarrett2494 I do not understand your post. Beatings in school are always wrong.
I too went to a horrific boarding school where emotional and physical abuse was common. Andrew Motion's statement that all of one's emotional resources were spent in just trying to survive, rather than being able to focus on the education, was one that I recognise completely.
I will name the dreaded school here since it also made the national headlines after being featured on Panorama. It was the Royal Alexandra and Albert School, also known as Gatton Park. The reason it was featured on Panorama was that a number of its teachers had been convicted of sexual abuse - although the senior members of the school were never held to account for hiring or overlooking the abuse.
If anybody is still wondering, yes the place is still open.
well of course its still open what do you expect? actual justice? oh no not for those who have connections to the wealthy and influential dont get ahead of yourself now the clogs in the rotting machine need to still keep on going to fund their hedonistic lifestyle.
It is not privilege as perceived by those wokey metro champagne socialists .
It is not privilege as perceived by those wokey metro champagne socialists .
Motion attended Radley .
@TesterAnimal1
No " privilege " at all to go there . Sound of horrid staff & horrid managers .
My favourite comment by one of the gentlemen, was when he pointed out the ludicrousness of a private school having better sports facilities than entire towns, and the people currently in power, being unable to see that injustice and then make appropriate changes. An absolutely brilliant insight, and a deeply sad one.
No wonder they are so cruel, selfish and abusive when in power. It's beyond time to end the abusive "public" school system completely.
I went to one.
It was hell.
Emotionally crippling.
I went to an all boys inner city comprehensive in the 1970s. At that time, one of the largest in the UK. Trust me, it was one of the most brutal, cruel and abusive institutions I have ever experienced. Long before the abolition of corporal punishment, the liberal use of which, from the torse, cane, slap or the oversized plimsoll administered with unimaginable force by the largest gym teacher, was the main form of control. And then there were the thug pupils, given more or less free reign to bully at will. 5 years of daily horror, only at the end which could my secondary education actually begin. British public schools are an abomination, but being a powerless, poor, physically average child in a 1970s state school was no joy either.
cruel and selfish people are within all classes all jobs. its a lack of faith. a nation with no sense of morality is a threat to itself. Morality is promoted in the 10 commandments which all Abrahamic faiths agree and believe in.
Also creating a system of institutional accountability not blame. Would assist with the institutional corruption this country is afflicted with.
You are spot on
A child needs the warmth of a care giver and these lot have had none
Just money thrown at them so how will they know the lives of ordinary people
@@nancyhagan7553
Equally they learn (wrongly) that everything can be 'brought'
I went to a private all girls day school. I hated it, but was always told how lucky I was to be there. I would have given anything not to be. I saw it push favoured children and totally fail others who needed extra help. It did not equip anyone with life skills. When I did well, against their expectations, they couldn't even grudgingly acknowledge it. I vowed I would never put my own kids through it.
What makes you think you would have been happier in a state school?
@@charlesbruggmann7909 because I had to go to State School when my parents moved to a different area for 2 years. An area where there were no Private Schools. I learnt more and was much happier there until they moved back and put me back into the Private School and misery.
I was also made to feel I was lucky and was given an opportunity my Dad hadnt had. I struggled to keep my head above water for three years and then floundered for the last two and my Dad unbeknownst to me had to persuade the school to even allow me to take A levels, which I did badly at. Neither my Dad or the school spoke to me about their deliberations until six months after my exams when my Dad spat it out while in the midst of a rant at me. His final word on the subject was "Well that was a f'in waste of money". Our relationship never really recovered although BS wasnt the only point of conflict.
@@ShitoryuGojuryuIt was in the UK from the early 60's to the mid 70's. I started school aged 3 at a private girls school. The only qualification required was your parents had the money for the fees. Consequently there were girls of all abilities. I stayed there until I was 11 and felt ok about it, enjoyed learning and it gave me a good grounding in the 3R's and a curious attitude to learning. I started in the senior part of the school and did first year. It was challenging, the discipline was extreme, with a restricted uniform, the length of skirts checked and measured, socks and stockings checked frequently rejected, we even had to wear special regulation indoor shoes. The compulsory gabardine coat plus velvet bowler hat marked you out for ridicule out of school, if you were brave enough to try to go into town after school and not be picked up by your parents until you were 18.
I then spent 2 years at a high school in a Scottish town - the only school in the town. I had freedom to walk to school myself, I was just like everyone else, the education was just as good, if not better as we learnt practical subjects like cooking, rather than Latin.
Back to the Private School, no freedom, back to public ridicule, fetched and carried by parents. Subjects all very academic, no additional needs help for friends who needed it, they ended up being persuaded to leave at 16 or being held back a year, and I really felt for them. I left with great O Levels, rubbish A Levels (because by that time I had discovered boys) and no ability to look after myself, cook properly etc. You can't eat A level Physics! Nothing I learnt at school was of any great use during my life. I did make it to Uni as a Mature Student, which I loved, but Private School I just hated it. The stigma and discipline and the teachers not caring for your wellbeing (my father died when I was 17 no one ever asked if I was ok) and not celebrating what you did unless you were the Best in your class and going to University. All I can say is choose carefully.
I was told by some working class people & tradesmen that I was lucky to go there .
This lack of empathy was useful for the country when those kids grew up and were shifted to the colonies who endured the impact of their cold behaviour. Today, most of them stay in Britain, so their citizens are the ones who suffer the consequences being led by callous individuals.
Good point....the system has bred those who seek to destroy Britain
The people in this country during Empire were also damaged by the elite.
Exactly. They exist as Spencer puts it to “cauterise the emotions”.
This produces useful sociopaths.
What lovely, sensitive men - despite their ghastly experiences.
Well he physically and mentally abused her first wife. He is no kind at all.
i remember as a teenager a boarding college lad asked me where i was boarding, to which i replied, `my parents loved me so they kept and reared me themselves`. I think he got my point.
Bit nasty when rich poor kids already fostered on nanny for years.dont let private school receive charity status and stop providing child benefit to them that can afford private.private schools only place I've seen kids learn etiquette and pride in one appearance and extra curriculum so good couldn't afford otherwise.my kids had a mix and ppl always pointed how well they presented verbally n appearance.education standard at times was no better than state.
@joprocter4573
Good heavens, man (or woman): what a long run on sentence.
A suggestion: separate your writing in to individual thoughts. Then assemble those distinct items into groups of similar items, and then aim to express each one a separate sentence.
Good luck!
And blessings.
@@adad1270 in today's world if you are not accepting received wisdom Google will leave out words and thoughts that make a sentence cogent, indeed that make a sentence at all. And even after your editing, change your words to make you look ignorant , or simply shadow ban and your content.
The monitors make a science out of confusing homonyms. The paragraph you object to has periods but no initial caps.
That may occur when Google does not give you access to a keyboard without your trying different workarounds, or insert.other characters right in front of characters HR capitalized when editing
Google will also let you dictate commas or punctuation and then delete or replace correct punctuation and insert something worse. The program frequently doesn't know the difference between there, their and they're. Yeah we're supposed to be waiting for them to deliver likely lethal self-driving cars to operate in all conditions including fog and when roadway markings are covered with snow.
Not everybody has the stomach for the various workarounds used to get a disagreeing comment inserted -- without it being abridged and made incoherent.
The entry criticized is not one that I agree with but it seems to be opposite to the majority of comments. If you can ignore the lack of initial caps, you'll probably see sentences.
Also if someone writes a comment that is too long it will quickly get shifted over to top comments where it will not likely get noticed or read. If it's really long it will earn some phrase indicating that it represents an illogical or unsubstantiated argument. You can remove the lowest paragraphs in the old fashioned newspaper inverted pyramid editing Style that was developed for typesetters using lead linotype and later used with so-called cold type
I was 6 years old when sent to boarding school. I became mute during my time there to avoid trouble. Miles from home, I had no idea why I couldn't see my mum and dad. There was elocution lessons and silk serviettes. I thought I'd been sent to prison and I didn't know how to articulate my fears. I was lucky that everyone was very protective of me and was only there for three terms.
My parents recognised a distress that I could find no words for at the time
Sending you a hug Jenny
@jennyoshea1 and
@sarahsue42
And here's another hug for the 6-year old in you, Jenny!
And I'm reminded of a book by President Jimmy Carter's Evangelist sister (RIP), who would hold prayer sessions where she invited Jesus to accompany those present in reliving past traumas, but with His loving support & guidance bringing healing.
Good luck, & blessings!
Early f boarding .
@@robertbarrett2494It is like parents don't want to bother with everyday parenting. Well don't have kids or get private tuition. Just bad bad bad.
My cousin went to a boarding school for girls. Ran away at 15 because it was living hell. I genuinely feel so sorry for anyone who's been through that system.
Suddenly, I realise: how will the men have empathy for anybody's suffering, when the suffering endured by the little boys they used to be was never considered, empathised with? Instead, they were told it was their fault they were feeling bad and should just stop it...That accounts for the "Lifestyle choice" remarks by Braverman, 30p Lee and co: these people want to be members of the charmed circle, so they double down on the public schools message.
Abominable.
As much as little children can be nasty to each other & animals .
I would guess that those who think it’s okay & even funny to set light to £50 notes in the face of a homeless person are missing a few brain cells and therefore devoid of common sense
Lack of empathy is more likely.
@@joaniesimpson2016probably both
No. They are taught to consider those not of their class as,little more than livestock.
I always smile wryly when some van driver from Essex espouses that Boris is a good 'un and would go for a pint with them.
Probably a minority from within those institutions . They would not be popular with most members . Nasty , cheap & childish behaviour .
I do not know those scenes or people as described . For me burning £50 notes & gloating in front tof homeless rough sleepers is vulgar & unkind . The least one could do is to offer food , soft drink & a referral to places where they can wash , be clothed & sheltered overnight .
I got a tour of Eton about 15 years ago, I saw a number of very "unhappy" youth, they seemed about 14 or 15.
It got to the point that I commented on what I was seeing.
The man giving the tour admonished me that they knew what they were doing as they've been about it for centuries.
I promised myself that I would NEVER put my own child into such a sterile environment.
Is there a single school in the world where you won’t find the odd ‘unhappy’ 14/15 year old? Apart from girls’ schools presumably.
The only person I've met from Eton was the most obnoxious person I've ever met
@@PomuLeafEveryday
I have met quite a few obnoxious people in my life. Not all went to Eton, quite a few had been to perfectly ordinary state schools.
@@charlesbruggmann7909 I coached highschool sports for years and years, these kids were at another level of "unhappy"
@@charlesbruggmann7909so now you are defending bullying?
Sending young children to boarding school is a posh form of putting them in care. As a mental health professional I have worked with both public school educated and care leavers. The overlap in psychological injury is telling. Children need to be nurtured, receive affection and most importantly have healthy, nurturing attachment relationships with parents. Institutions cannot provide this.
I totally agree.
I went to boarding school and that's obviously beyond ignorant.
Maybe get some experience before forming a embarrassing low capability to use critical thought.
@@gman509 hit a nerve there did we being compared to a care kid? Also if you are referring to me, I do use critical thought. I chose not to get the vaccine but I bet you did! Tell me I’m wrong? I don’t just go along with everything I am told but I bet you do! Also the above commenter has got experience so it’s you that’s ignorant. And also if you went to boarding school you should know that it is ‘an’ embarrassing and not ‘a’ embarrassing.
@@gman509This is what we are on about. A reply like this!
It is actually worse than being in a care home for children. There is a better adult staff to child ratio in a children's home than in a boarding school and they attend local schools in the community alongside children who live with their parents. That's why the ex boarders in the last Tory Government wanted children locked up in state run boarding schools 52 weeks of the year. Keep them away from the rest of society.
Ive met a few public school men in my life. I felt they were very damaged in a somehow uniform way. Very cruel to do this to children
It's all sounds like a kind of institutionalized PTSD. Like trauma was the point, not education. Like an expensive residential school, except they were creating posh government automatons, instead of beating the Indian out of a bunch of Rez kids.
The Brits should learn from countries that successfully educate their young without elitism and violence.
It is more an English tradition. There are very few boarding schools in Scotland
The Dark Triads
so wicked
@@doreenhollywood7459🤣
But they never will, will they?
Because if you're that type of British person who sends your offspring away to a public school, you know better don't you?
The British upper class will never lose their arrogance....
At least there's very little risk of them getting shot.
Much of this just makes me sick.
Yes, I went to one of these boarding schools and it was as awful as described, but I revolted. I fought back. I refused to take the bullshit dished out to me. The result was that I was beaten black and blue, of course. I once held a record at my school: the most beatings in one term (46, if I recall - about 4 times a week). I was also beaten by the prefects, the seniors, and just about anyone older than I was. But it never stopped me. Years later I remember meeting a man from my school who remembered me as the fellow always on detention, always gardening (a punishment) and always standing up and objecting to collective punishments (and getting punished for it). He just thought me a nutcase. No-one ever DID anything.
What gets me is that there are so many men out there now bleating about how horrible their school experience was, but I can't remember any of them EVER doing anything about it. Even as children they lacked the courage to do anything except bleat.
And "leadership"? Oh, those schools taught leadership alright. How to shine in the eyes of your superiors, while stabbing your colleagues in the back and beating up anyone less powerful. This is the "leadership" that we see all around us: in politics, in society.
Bah, they can all go *&^%$%#$*(^&)(*)_(
Hope that. you are now ok .
Well done for not giving in to the herd mentality.
Sounds horrific. But I dont think anybody bleated about it while at the school in fact a stiff upper lip and carrying on was all part of the ethos. Parents should have done something about it but complaining to them was also taboo.
Not everyone has the strengt that you had....be compasionate! They were children.
Broken children remoulded in the image of an "elite"
This is why many who govern can't govern!
Even before this starts….I’m 76 and this still hits raw nerves: what I went through is just as typical as the horror stories you hear everywhere; sadistic prefects, a really nasty headmaster, abusive teachers. God knows how we all survived without being turned into younger carbon copies of them :-)
I left with a plummy accent and a determination never to put my children, if and when I had them, in any institution like my prep and public schools.
They also made me a Labour voter for life…so some good came out of it :-)
Have you read the book 'sad little men' that was published a few years ago? It might be worth a look...
Edit: I was commenting before listening too. I see the author of the book I mentioned is one of the interviewees.
Sixty two here. I went to a minor regional one which was very proud to have been founded in the fifteenth century.
It too was hell. And bullying was accepted. It’s emotionally damaging to children to be dumped like that.
I’m definitely not… “complete”? Even after all these years.
Oh, and a Labour voter too!
Thanks for the reply :-) it’s comforting to know that you’re one of many isn’t it….not that you want anyone else to have gone through that! And the fact that you are so much younger than me makes it so depressing that you had to suffer 14 years or so later than I did.
There were boys in my school who went through an even worse ordeal than I did. My worst ordeals were at the hands of the headmaster. If you ever saw the film called ‘If’ where a boy get caned by a prefect who runs up and thrashes him? That happened to me 3 times: twice with 3 thrashes and once with 6 thrashes. I had blood running down the back of my legs after the worst event. Utterly wicked way to treat young boys….I think I was 13 at the time. Thing is I could never have told my parents because I’d have got the same treatment by my father who would have punished me because the headmaster had :-)
@@trevfindley I haven’t read it and I’m lucky enough to have a faith that has sustained me and enabled me to forgive those who meted out such cruelty. It was an awful time though and it’s left me with a passionate belief that children need love and encouragement to grow and flourish. I am truly lucky that I was able to understand and come to terms with what happened to me and I totally get how others struggle with similar experiences or end up repeating that behaviour themselves….my father and grandfather also went through public schools but my wife and I made sure that never happened to our children.
@@tonyaustin4472 sounds like it probably wouldn't contain any huge revelations to you, but it is an excellent book - and very specific and lucid in how it apportions blame to the overbearing institutional structure of the schools themselves rather than the many and varied tyrants that each one may or may not have harboured...
England is a class based place where aristocracy and those snobbish of a middle class support the status quo. Europeans have dropped their Von's and De so and so's. Britain lives in another century of acceptable inequalities and funds it. British people are deferential to those 'born to rule' and the working classes are as Kant would say, 'politically immature'. Britain has become a de-regulated, low cost, low caring business, akin to a 19th Century workhouse for too many.
'Politically immature" and senescent at the same time, what a combination
On the contrary, the 'working class' have challenged authority over centuries, which is why the English had rights early not found elsewhere. Slavery and Serfdom disappeared early. The Peasants Revolt, the political movements of the Levellers, Diggers, Chartists, the Labour movement. No bloody revolution like Russia or France, the development of constitutional monarchy, which turn out to be one of the most stable forms of government, and avoiding extremity in political movements such as Fascism and Communism and the horrors that unleashed globally.
Do you see those political movements and oppression as 'politically mature'?
Not true about the dropping of the De, Du Van and Von on the continent. There are plenty of old aristocratic families around.
And most ironically, Mrs Thatcher was one of those Tories who seemed to have pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps. She and her followers then made it harder for others to do ßo.
@user-pu5tc8tg4x So right. Send one daughter through that system - haven't seen or heard from her for 24 years since !!! Does not want to know me.
There's nothing special about these guys. No particular technical, managerial aptitudes. No reason why they should rule.
Have Allways thought that having a Private Education, Does NOT make a person clever, intelligent, able or accomplished, it simply means they have HAD a VERY Expensive Education and been indoctrinated into the mantra that THEY are Superior to the plebs who are outside of that privilege....and should be treated as such.
Their severe lacking in many areas of knowledge (science, technology) is directly reflected in all the issues UK currently has.
More important may be the effect on judgement of the lack of emotional development.
@Pauld42 There was an interesting item on U-tube watched yesterday with Two Private school boarders, one of whom, Former Poet Laureate Andrew Motion....He said just that about Shutting down Emotional development....They both said that Public Schools formerly had a discipline Break the child to make the child FIT to be a Servant of the Empire and send them off to Rule...And nothings much changed, Except with NO Empire now....Those people are here instead!
But then their uber representation at the upper echelons of society says otherwise :)
My father died of alcoholism in his early 50's, I'm pretty sure his time at Prep / Boarding school is at the heart of it, but I can't ask him now
I'm sorry to hear that. My mum was an alcoholic and having to send all her three sons to BS all of whom were unhappy at going made her worse. I never brought it up afterwards as I knew she felt guilty about it.
@@tomfaulkner2055It is not normal to distance yourself from your children especially at a very young age. Need to live in a family set up. Preferably their own.
Alcoholics come from a wider range of backgrounds .
The discussion of the damage to intellectual, as well as social/psychological development is extremely valuable. To become a person preoccupied with avoiding punishment at the expense of actual learning - not to mention empathy + moral courage/conviction - explains SO much about the behavior of politicians, educators, the legal profession etc.
THIS is where so many of these people who are so eager to be liked and never risk anything major to make progress possible comes from. To have your mind " frozen over" + to develop a devious aspect to your personality due to a preoccupation with avoiding punishment is shockingly awful. Pursuing success with the wrong underlying motive is a path to nothing good.
At what cost? MASSIVE, and the general public will pay for it all, in one way or another.
And here I was considering this as an option for my children in the future... Thank you so much for sharing! Truly eye-opening
Britain was destroyed on the playing fields of Eton.
.... & also playing fields or play grounds of other schools .
No it was destroyed on the windrush
Exaggeration.
What sort of heartless parent sends an eight year old off to some far off institution. As a parent I'd hate not seeing my kids everyday.
A breeding ground for the sociopath.
Exactly
💯
The true ruling elite need the traumatised kids to carry out UKgovPLC policies that suppress the masses!
Plenty at the other schools by 93 / 7 & from almost all walks of life .
@dominionphilosophy3698 But public schools teach to successfully hide the socipathy under the exterior of sophistication and eccentricity
Also five times more damaged leading to drugs and rent boys and generally a debased life .Perfect for looking after the day to day running of the country.
Robbie Coltrane the actor ( and wonderful kind man) described his experience at his Scottish Boarding School as “ licensed violence “.
King Charles described his Scottish boarding school as "Colditz in Kilts" and he probably never even got the worst of it.
Having lived in Australia the system of schooling there is very similar and with similar consequences, Melbourne private schools breed the most obnoxious people you would ever want to meet.
I say old chap, steady on
Plenty of obnoxious people who did not go there .
The worst 5 years of my life at private boarding school. I got out of it as soon as I could at 16. Looking back some of the teachers were really weird and some of them beat boys for minor offences and drew blood. What is the cost of lost talent and productivityof those who went to state school and didn't have the job opportunities open to private school graduates?
Both had them when they attained the same level at advanced 2ndary & at tertiary
@@robertbarrett2494 look no further than than public schools make up 7% of the school population and when I was at school 70% of Oxbridge students. Even now it is 50%.do you think Cameron and Johnson could have monopolised their leadership of the Tory party if they didn't go to Eton?
Many people hated school, whether fee-paying or a state school.
It's incredibly naive to say that you have love in your life if you go home each evening. I was terrified of my father and would have done anything to be away from that environment.
I wanted to live home age 5..i had had enough
Me too Julian
It was hard enough having problems adjusting to BS but when it just made problems at home worse then on one level being at BS was an escape from those intractable domestic problems. More likely to have love at home than BS although not a given I agree.
Your father, My mother. My mother shook me until I passed out 3 different times as an infant. She was always shaking me as a child. I always wanted to go to boarding school to get away from the abuse, but at that time, I had no idea how much abuse happened at boarding schools and how the establishment was abhorrant to stop it and was really apart of the problem until I went to a school up North that was not a boarding school, but I was bullies and the teachers had the audacity to call it love! Even the music teacher bullied me. This is when I realized that at a boarding school, I would be trading my mother for many fools with tools.
It seems to me that we are here to be the best we can be: by that I don’t mean necessarily to be what this world accepts as being a success ie rich/ powerful/ famous etc. To be the best we can be means, to me, to be a compassionate, kind, tolerant, gentle human being….to be that amongst our fellow, equally flawed brothers and sisters, is being the best we can be. If like so many of us you’ve had a rough time of it as a child, from parents or a lack of them, from school, from work or from the world at large; then you have gift that others haven’t had, you know what it’s like to feel that hurt. Turn that experience on it’s head and use your compassion in the way you live with others. There’s literally no better, wiser life you can aspire to….and the peace and joy you will feel outstrips and amount of money or power you could possibly imagine. People will scoff at this I have no doubt, and that that only proves that I am right :-)
Use the experiences you’ve had for good and you’ll find the hurt you suffered will diminish like dew in the morning.
The problem with privately educated people is their incompetence and inability to problem solve large scale infrastructure problems etc. Its always going to be beyond them.
Which begs the obvious question......Why are these very exclusive and expensive institutions called `Public Schools` when they are totally closed to the real public people? They are Private Schools and the free institutions are Public Schools for the commoner, surly! It must be a very British thing because it makes no sense what so ever!
Nonsense
Maintaining the status quo relies on problems 'not' being solved.....!!!!
If a Politician comes in and solves all the problems its game over and they do think they are playing a game .....
@@nicolemurphy2629
Nonsense .
What will the 93 % do ?
I don't know how the School that I attended would have compared to Spencer's school, but it was a boy's boarding prep school setup for getting kids through common entrance, which I didn't do, but instead I went back into the state system. I remain scarred for life.
I employed a goof educated at Eton once. I was shocked at how entitled he was. He was too useless for words.
I could only listen to the first 3 minutes then I had to stop because it was so excruciatingly sad to listen to Andrew’s recollection of being taken to boarding school. I don’t think I could manage to hear anything worse. I just hope that all the men who went through this torture have managed to get their life back together and not too badly damaged.
''I was just a child...'' at the age of six and a half I was sent away to board - it was not so much a home as a prison and it left deep psychological scars. Having had such thoughts and feelings, I have now 'dropped out' of the whole performance!
An interesting conversation would be one that had a working class man, being put through the worst performing state schools and living in the 'care' system talking about their life experience of education and neglect alongside these chaps.
My ex boarded at public school from the age of 5. He's so emotionally messed up, but lives around working class people to feel important and special.
I'm from US. I had no idea about public schools before coming to the UK. Very disturbing.
The US has a major problem with private 'Christian Schools" indoctrinating children and leaving them totally unprepared for the real world.
You mean private school in UK.
The character of "Chandler" is an American Boarding School survivor. In Friends?
This must be so awful for most children
Thee is a further problem with public schools. Their teaching steers pupils to arts degrees so the people running the country as politicians, civil servants or business leaders are scientifically illiterate. They are unable to evaluate projects related to infrastructure, utilities or defence and are reliant on expert opinion that is often influenced by the businesses involved.
Emphasis on the classics instead of maths and physics explains the dire ignorance in Westminster.
Not these days. But everyone knows the money is not in Science and Engineering it’s in Banking and Finance.
STEM subjects are badly taught elsewhere .
A lot of ex boarders go into the military, medicine or engineering so not true.
“Survivors of these institutions”. Good grief.
Some of them ARE "survivors"...truely some of them endured horrors.These men are simply sharing their experiences,they are not trying to justify or say its OK we have such elite schools that privilege few in society.
Some of them endured unimaginable horros that you would not wish on anyone...horroric abuses of every single kind,abandoned by parents and left to fend for themselves often in harsh unloving environments.
@@upendasana7857 Nah. They’re fine.
Hyperbole on steroids!
Yes parents pay for their children to turn out like this! Makes no sense really.
No wonder this country is in such a mess
Might I remind you that Liz Truss did not go to Eton. She didn’t go to boarding school. She wasn’t privately educated.
@@charlesbruggmann7909she fit right in though - I guess prep schools aren't the only source of entitled idiots, but regardless of source,we should stop electing them!
@@charlesbruggmann7909 True but she did go to Oxford
@@mandriod5255 exactly. Oxford PPE is an extension of this exact system. Also - most of the think tank gouls who dictated her policies were bound to have been privately educated...
Eton mess!
Looking in from abroad, it is very pleasing to see this obvious reality called out so eloquently and effectively. When Britain had half the world’s resources to pillage, blustering, self important scoundrels were quite an adequate ruling class. Competence was not essential when there was such a glut of other people’s resources to waste whilst still reaping obscene gains. Now, without its empire, the outside world is in wonder at how such a class of cowering, incompetent déplorables can be staffing Britain’s halls of power. With no industry to speak of, reduced trade and diminishing relevance, it does not auger well for the country’s future, even in the short term.
parliament seems to be a dumping ground for them. the ease with which they are able to get in is staggering. look at Cameron, not even elected , yet a government minister.
Plenty of other people in that place .
Like most of the people who have commented here, I went to not one, but two boarding schools. I was rebellious and to avoid expulsion from the first, was sent to a less 'military-type' of school. It was, without doubt, much better. I have since come to the conclusion that private schools should be illegal. If every child in the UK had to go to a state school the MPs would do all they can to make sure that state schools are excellent in every way. State schools would have to give children a good academic education as well as being able to trust other people (something you learn not to do in boarding school). Simply put, youngsters would finish school with less snobbism, more open mindedness, better disposed towards others (whoever they be), more faith in a just world and more inclination to make it a fair and just world for all of us.
Well this is what Labour would like to do. Gets shouted down by certain elites. So the wheel keeps turning out what it turns out.
A good discussion. Some commenters here state that boarding school turned them into Labour voters, but they are clearly the exception to the rule. They may recognise that they will never really know what it is like to be from the other side of the tracks and that their education DID surmount hurdles they would otherwise have faced. I went to a boy's grammar school which copied many of the characteristics of the "public school" system, yet I grew up in an industrial county town so knew more people who were down to earth, working in manual jobs, many skilled and highly intelligent with surprising hobbies and interests. I personally believe that the boarding school system has largely lost its former ostensible values of inculcating a sense of duty for the service of the country. It did grow after all to produce young men who would serve the Empire. Parents nowadays send their children because the connections will open doors to their children becoming "winners" at the expense of the interests of the wider society and economy. The more elite of these schools were always breeding grounds of political bigotry, social snobbery and personal insensitivity. There can always be good and bad people from any background, but it seems that these schools suppress pupils' emotions to encourage dissimulation. In the 70s it was felt that the British class system would fade, but since then the social divisions have become more stark. We are going backwards. The biggest obstacles to a more equitable society are the right wing owners or controllers of the mainstream media, most of whom including the editors and senior writers come from the same background which is highly destructive to the common good. Finland has the best education system in the world and has no private schools.
This school model was exported to other countries like South Africa where we still have these schools, still instilling these values of exclusivety etc. Where there are parents absolutely bankrupting themselves to send their kids there hoping that it will give their kids some kind of "edge"
Parents had choices. Those fathers who sent their sons to these schools most likely went to the same school themselves. That's how the system works. They knew what was going on. They were quite prepared to allow their children be part of it.
Can't feel sorry for people who are part of the ridiculous feudal system that we still have in this country.
Because they don't know how to raise children beyond the age they were sent to boarding school as they had no parent role model then. There is one matron per school and one housemaster or housemistress per 50 children so the children are raising themselves.
Amelia White went to boarding school at 11 but was determined to send her daughters to state day schools. She found raising daughters from the age of 11 perplexing as she wasn't allowed to be feminine in her school.
4-13 years ! One does wonder where the NSPCC is on this horrendous tradition.
They like most charities only delve into cases that won’t lose them their funding.
The Reign of King and Queens should be over. The RF are not what any citizen or society should be looking up to or curtsy to or admired. There has to be an end to this and if not for the citizens then for the current children of the monarchy sake.
What’s this got to do with the Monarchy?
I've always found the English need for a stratified society interesting, and the fact that millions of plebs happily look up to and abase themselves to their 'betters' puzzles me.
Even the language that has evolved and never been dropped is ridiculous, when you think about it: people are 'majestic, majesties' for example. What was majestic about your late Queen (or her son)? A very ordinary little woman, and now a very ordinary little man are majestic?
A duke is 'your grace', however lacking in grace he may be. The most dishonourable people are honourable? A nation clinging to past glories needs to finally grow up and accept the new realities.
@@margaretcaine4219At least the Queen was educated by private home tutors. But she made the mistake of sending her children to boarding schools from the age of 8 and a long way from London.
Well no wonder the British empire was so ruthless, and brutal. Led by seriously damaged individuals.
Stop the scroungers. Tax the rich.
I didn't go to a boarding school but I went to a private school on a scholarship. I didn't enjoy it but I would take issue with some of the claims made about them: I don't buy the idea that they have some magical ability to get top results, for example that the teachers are always better (some are great of course). Quite clearly the issue is that they use entrance exams to select for the brightest kids and then those kids study in a strict environment. Their parents also usually have high expectations.
Quite obviously given the state of the country, it's pretty clear that those chaps who've been through those places have failed the great majority of us. And therein lies the trouble: social class - this country is uniquely poisoned by it in the Western world and I don't know what we do about it. At my private school the feeling in the air was that we were "better" than other people at the same time as there being a lot of fear of those people who went to comprehensive schools. Not exactly a healthy way to live. When I mixed with people who had gone to ordinary schools I found them to be far more trustworthy and down to earth.
I have to say I really do think it was a huge mistake for the Left to turn against grammar schools
Yeah, I absolutely cannot make sense of the contempt for grammar schools. There are certainly some problems with them: The ability of wealthy families to buy their way into the catchment area. The blunt instrument of branding a child based on a one-dimensional score at a young age. But the solution to these problems is not just _"Shut them all down"._
I think the person who changed most grammars to comprehensives was Margaret Thatcher during her tenure as education secretary.
@@andybrice2711The case against grammar schools is absolutely rock solid. They entrench privilege and shut off social mobility. The evidence is simply irrifutable.
Parental pressure is it's own thing, of course. I went to a state school, but I do recall hearing a conversation between a head of department and new teacher in advance of a parent's night along the lines of "you'll not hear parents asking why their children have so much homework, you'll get asked why they've got so little".
I have no opinion about grammar schools, having grown up in a very egalitarian country, but the rest of your post is great and tallies with what I experienced when meeting public school alumni.
I cannot imagine abandoning my grad 1 age son to a boarding school. Utter inhumanity.
They never get their hands dirty,and have top life an expectations.
It’s imperative for the future of the UK to abolish boarding school, private schools and the monarchy.
This. They will revert back in terms of economic growth and so many other things too if they continue this feudalist trend.
I agree with you. Another benefit of withdrawing taxpayer funding from non government schools would be the ending of the physical isolation of children from different religious backgrounds from each other. I've been reading about what is taught (indoctrinated?) in some Muslim schools in Britain and elsewhere. If the Catholics, Jews and others suffer financially from a tightening of the public money supply they currently enjoy, so be it. The government needs to be much stricter in enforcing the national curriculum and religious studies should be monitored closely to ban the teaching of fundamentalism.
Yes, because state schools are doing such a good job producing wonderful children who grow to be great human beings themselves😑😑
It is high time that private school students (6.5 percent of the school population) were limited to 6.5 percent of places at Oxford and Cambridge. They used to take a whopping 60 percent plus of Oxbridge places. This is now down to 32 percent of places but that still means that private schools are taking far more places than any real intellectual merit could possibly justify. A 6.5 percent limit would be simple to legislate and would profoundly improve the future health of the UK
46 US presidents, at the same time 42 british prime ministers came from ONE school what sort of system is that ?
Which school?
@@StGammon77 eton collage windsor it costs at the moment over 46K per year per pupil
@@johnnorman7044Says it all really.
Then don't vote for someone who went to these schools..
You shouldn’t take that simplistic attitude…there are lots of folk who went to public schools came through it with a utter determination to treat children for the treasured blessing they are. It made me a lifelong socialist and I’ve been a Labour supporter my whole adult life.
It’s not where the child was sent; it’s how the adult behaves that counts.
Lot of labor luvvies went to elite schools
@@elliotoliver8679Why call them 'luvvies'?
Just a guy who needs to learn more about life…and apparently how to spell too :-)
My ex husband was sent to prep school, boarding,aged 7. He’s probably autistic to boot. He is a very damaged man.
Can't have been easy for him there.
@@janetmalcolm6191 definitely wasn’t. He’s definitely damaged by the whole experience.
@@Jane-rc2rkSorry to hear that. My sister wanted to do that with one of her boys but my mother said not to. Best thing possibly for him it seems.
It was brutal tearing children away from their families at such a formative young age, but it does teach you to toughen up and grow up quickly, you learn not to trust, and be defensive, keep your head down. These establishments were far from comfortable or privileged materially, they were dilapidated, cold and food was barbaric. Waking up in dorms with ice condensation on the inside of the windows enabled you to draw pictures and cartoons of deans and masters you did not like. There were loads of bullies of all types, and plenty of criminal pervs among the staff. The movie lord of the flies depicts the rule of savages quite well. We didn't sent our children to boarding school, so at least this particular cycle is broken.
Plebs keep voting for them.
Because we’re gaslighted by them
I know. It’s fucking amazing.
@@mandriod5255the establishment media are messed into it.
The English love cap doffing. This is also ingrained by royalty and the class system. I hate this about this country.
@@webMonkey_ They will never learn.
Even if you went to a terrible secondary modern school you still got to go home at 4pm every day.
I used to feel like I was taking school home with me because of all the homework. My too closest friends lived near the school so visiting them meant going near the school when it was closed. I lived on a route home from school so even an hour after getting home the kids who had been in detention or at football practice were walking past our home.
A couple of years back The Guardian allowed the headmaster of Eton College an opinion piece to hymn the joys of private boarding schools. The next day unsurprisingly saw a flurry of letters taking issue, with one succinctly pointing out that it had been three ex-pupils of Eton who had brought our country to the brink of civil war. I think he meant David Cameron, who called the Brexit referendum for party political purposes, and Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg who promoted it.
Do you mean Trendy Hendy ? He is dead eager to bring that with Star Academy sponsoring 6th form academies . The 5th formers need help to qualify f 6th form .
It was the same with the BBC. I stopped using the BBC website for news because it was promoting boarding schools too much.
@@davidredshaw448
Cameron was & probably still is a crypto Remainer , but wanted Party leadership & to be PM .
@lemsip207
Boarding is not f everyone . Day schooling is on offer among many independent schools .
Westminster & St Paul's Schools have day facilities . WinChester is taking in day pupils ,
not only daughters of staff .
@@robertbarrett2494 It's not for anyone.
In the UK, private schools are called public schools…
Not necessarily.
Why? Why are children abandoned at such early age? What is the benefit ? It’s very sad and cruel
the object is to produce a cruel but charming sociopath
I went to Oundle in the late 1990s, a truly shocking place. Drug use, horrific pain felt by those who couldn't 'stand up' and hopelessly, useless, in bred types with zero capability but lots of money. 30 years on, many have now failed in life or are trying to make it based on their relationships - they are too a victim of the system. It needs to change to meet the needs of a modern day world, they will say they are changing but my experience of Oundle and my knowledge today tells me they are still hiding what really goes on. What Charles Spencer described was, and still is, widespread.
My brother got a scholarship to Oundle in the 1960s.
My mum and dad decided not to send him because they'd miss him, he'd miss home, and they felt me and my brother would miss him too.
It sounds as though he dodged a bullet. Hope you're ok x
I managed to get out and am absolutely fine, many others are not. Many, many incidents are hidden from view, the reputation of the school must be protected at all cost. The Worshipful Company of Grocers, (the governing body), has long tendrils and complaints and appeals are not visible, as they should be. Your parents made the right decision. @@nicolab2075
@@nicolab2075Your brother was saved by his loving parents. Hope he was grateful to them.
I live near Oundle and know several people who teach or have taught there, and people who were pupils there. It is Co educational now, and there is a much stronger emphasis on pastoral care.
@@willowtree9291 It was coeducational when I was at Oundle. We were also told pastoral care was important. It has probably changed now, but this will be more a result of the vast electronic surveillance that exists rather than any policy or leadership changes I would expect. Drug and alcohol abuse is still widespread as you would expect with pupils having cash and access to the travelling suppliers who frequent Oundle.
Listened to the audible, it was horrific, well done to Charles Spencer for writing it. There was me thinking he had the best of everything and was so privileged in every aspect of life, this made me see he wasn’t but also what a strong character he is too survive the torment
He’s obnoxious.
As an Irish Republican this explains a whole lot - and is one of my most frightening videos I have ever watched
Unfortunately child neglect, brutality and abuse happened in all societies in UK and Ireland back in the day... Catholic Church in Ireland is another example.
You Fenians got touched up by priests. Explains a whole lot.
Obvious troll is obvious.
I know the Jesuits and Benedictine’s were only following the English model in Ireland and that the French and German provinces of those orders are pioneers of liberal progressive education - but Belvedere, Clongowes, Glenstal etc are carbon copies of Stonyhurst and Ampleforth - themselves just romanised versions of Eton and Westminster. There’s a lot of decolonisation Ireland hasn’t done, at least possibly because of the ongoing influence of those schools
@@Joe-og6br never did and I am not a fenian
And people wonder why for the average "normal" Brit it feels like the cards are stacked against them
My father had a hideous time at boarding school but fell for the fallacy of gradual improvement and my parents sent me nonetheless. I think it's a mistake to imagine that boarding schools have improved or could ever do so. The potential to do life-long damage to children is intrinsic to the system and doesn't require overt child abuse to inflict that damage.
Separate a child from their parents, place them in an environment without love and where the expression of emotion is dangerous, tell them they're special in a thousand unfounded ways and you will always be left with emotionally confused, defensive and entitled adults.
It has taken me at least twenty years of therapy to decompress, reflect and feel the impact of what happened to me at one of England's "top public schools". The men-children we see at the top of our institutions are the product of a system that gives no place to the notion of emotional literacy; how could it, its pupils learn to bury their emotions on day one. Their very survival depends on it.
The other people who suffer consequences are the millions of educated people who come out of state schools suffering from an inferiority complex or burning with anger at inequality and the injustice of their childhood lot.
I rage more about Grammar Schools tbh.
Still better than most state schools offer. Most of the privately educated people I’ve come into contact with, are happy and grateful that they have landed great opportunities. The “born to rule” set will always come out on top, a bit of VAT won’t bother them in the slightest.
I’m subscribing these topics are fascinating as we have an assumption about people that attend these schools - it’s an amazing insight and I will be buying the Spencer’s book.
It also explains why buffoons are running the country into the ground.
It's callous, loveless and essentially child abuse, abandonment and neglect, pure and simple.
His store is both heart-breaking and infuriating. I think Lady Diana would be proud of him for speaking up.
Wonderfully erudite and emotionally aware perspectives, thank you. Living in England for several years I found the emotional cauterisation seemed to leak down to people who hadn't even attended private schools. It seemed that all education was still 'empire-positive', creating another level of emotional ignorance as to the destruction and pillage of people, place and things to build such wealth and 'aristocracy'. So glad to see this house of cards falling; the reclamation of self, hearth and heart which is everyone's truly sovereign right. 🙏💚
And this is probably why they are so Cruel to Wildlife ie Foxhunting, Birds ,Grouse, Pheasants,Hare Coursing.Deer No empathyfor them.
Hare coursing? That’s not posh people sport.
@@nicolad8822Not that many hares don't think.Nobody should be hunting them.
I had first hand experience of the mantra, "you are born to rule here learn how" I heard this
Once they ran an empire, but now they just fill their pockets!
"They" can't run anything now. Lurching from bad to worse. There is some hope for UK possibly. We can't give up hope.
Let’s send our children with strangers to live with. What could go wrong?
Many true points made I flew 5000 from my family Southern Africa to my School in 1967 in Ramsgate. growing up very fast. I was 12....The film IF 1968 summed a lot of it up.
“When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, well, they'd be singing so happily
Oh, joyfully, oh, playfully watching me
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh, responsible, practical
And then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh, clinical, oh, intellectual, cynical” 🇬🇧🧟
Yes someone knew what they were talking about.
Seems like a logical song. Someone should put it to music.
Treated so badly so badly they have no clear tool that's why they cruel to people they were cruel to them and that okay to be cruel to people if you'd send your childhood willing school you don't love them that's that's the thing very evil people
As a possible counterpoint: Peter Cook, Richard Ingrams, Ian Hislop and most of Private Eye/‘The Establishment’ are products of Prep Schools/Oxbridge. And not to forget Andrew Marr.
It certainly suits some personality types.
Others are hurt by it.
@@TesterAnimal1 I'm not sure public success is any indicator of private contentment
Why do People who attended these Schools then send their Kids to the same Establishments?
Ambition and desire for the child to be of the upper division in terms of material wealth
So they mix with People Like Us.
Because it appears better than being a peasant, it can guarantee status position and money.
It is like a clan. All seem the same. Look the same and sound the same. Ideas the same. Stamped out of the same mould.
I went to a public school and benefitted from good teaching and exposure to richer experiences than I could have ever had at home. Learning to find one's way in a social situation not dominated by parents was more useful than stressful. I did not come away having any ambitions to impose my view on the world and I suspect 90% of my fellow students thought the same. It is a pity no one was invited to take part in this discussion to defend the positives. It is political necessity apparently to find someone to blame for the sad state of society today.
Benefited - one t.
@@macsmiffy2197 True - and I used to pride myself on my spelling :(
Maybe you were lucky in the choice of school. Did it help you get on in.life, do yoh think?
Well good for you, top dog.
I fucking HATED it and am emotionally fucked.
@@patcampton7163 It is difficult to say but it put me on a track that was totally beyond the experience of family and friends.Maybe that would have happened anyway.
It's been well known for years. Boarding school's for boys are a nightmare and should be stopped. Its the class system keeping up with each other. Revolting.😢
Isolation and empathy - shown or felt - do not mix.
These schools belong to a different time. The world has moved on.
Except they still exist and are allowed to perpetrate the same abuse to new generations of young boys.
Great discussion
My time at boarding schools was both traumatic and sometimes enjoyable. I enjoyed the sport and the poetry I was introduced to and I still do. I have a disability now call dyscalculia, the numericlal form of dyslexia, neither of which were known in the 50`s & 60`s. I was bullied by certain teachers as a result, which pushed me into despair. I can never forget the sense of liberation I felt as I walked out on the last day. It takes a strange kind of teacher who ends up teaching in them. That is not to say that none of them were inspiring because a few were. I remember one boy was beaten at least once a week, but he was an exception.Prefects were oftern despised as crawlers. A good deal of time was allocated to private study, known as prep. And friends were important. Classes were small so you got more attention than would be possible in state school. They produced comparatively better results than average. If you wanted a place at top Public Schools, you needed to get an average above 60% in the all-subjects Common Entrance exams. The point is that people who can afford he fees, are themselves to some extent successful and they know other people who have also developed successful careers. So the kind of things that were discussed at home could be educationally valuable. Probably at some schools boys are encouraged to believe that they are likely to meet with success in life. But school is only part of life. OK, maybe 60%. What matters is the cultural enrichment you got at home in the holidays.
“Political deviousness comes from British public schools.
That explains why other countries’ political class is so open, guileless and honest.
I would not agree .
Once the Tories have been defeated in the next election we have to work on getting rid of the reasons for Toryism. Banning non-state schools (private/public whatever you want to call them), would be a good start.
Finland banned non-state schools because they create and maintain divisions in society. Finland now has the best state schools in the world, and the most egalitarian society in the world.
Yes sensible people I'd say.
There is a great book called, I think, “Boarding School Syndrome” that delivers into the mental health issues associated with the private school system. Appalling - for the kids and for the rest of us
" Private school " at Eton & Harrow is a term f prep school .
Education f under 11 is primary-education level
& f over 11 is v early 2ndary-education level .
12 yr olds are learning how to do Common Entrance (CEE ) papers f entry into the selective schools of their parents' or guardians' choice .
Eton & Harrow are English public schools with a global catchment area . Their level of education is 2ndary-education level . 6th Form is advanced 2ndary education level & its entry requires a particular number of subjects at partucular grades of 2ndary education exams .