I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and its upsetting how he doesnt want to come travel with me but simply settled to an everyday job. travelling is my passion and thats what i want to do full time. i have booked my one way ticket to thailand in september with my brother and not sure when i will be coming back. He recons i wont enjoy it and will come back after a month but i doubt that. i hate living in Uk and this cold weather. im sick of working in shitty retail jobs also. i do have a degree but full time job right now is not for me. maybe in 10years after all my travel. thank you for making this video and just reasuring us all. i really needed this. Miriam x
Couples should always travel and explore the world together, these are stories you tell your children when you're old. However you yourself said he settled, which is sad really because your life goals and his just don't match. Hope your trip is amazing anyways!
Yeah I do live in a fairytale which I want to make real. I rather live in a fairytale though that think like you. I don't need to work to travel. There are many other ways to get money such as having a hobby that provides you income. I am sure everyone is working on finding themselves, in my case I enjoy being lost. And no thank you, I do not want to get a job, I don't need a house and I don't want a family. You can do that.. all I want is to be free.
She can work while she is on the road to afford her travel adventures. I have been traveling for years and I have afforded it by bartending my way through the places I am visiting as well as working in exchange for room and board in hostels. There are many ways to earn money while on the road. Ali made a video going into more depth
I'm older than most of the subscribers here and I want to say Psycho Traveller is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Do not marry or be with someone who you don't LOVE doing things with you...relationships are difficult enough...and if you have completely different interests those butterflies is not enough to keep people together. Even if you don't have the exact same interest...that is where the person will compromise and do things you like as you will do for them....BUT NEVER does a life partner tell you that you CANNOT do something. Life is tooooo short not to do what you LOVE...Hugs Melody
from the Movie The Pursuit of Happyness : "don't ever let somebody tell you "you can't do something", You've got a dream, you gotta protect it, people can't do something themselves they wanna tell you "you can't do it", YOU WANT SOMETHING GO GET IT.
I travel but not with my husband. He doesn't care for travel. The only traveling I get him to do is if it's nearby and only for a weekend. But he doesn't try to stop me.
So trying to find yourself and what you love is a horrible thing? Then I am a horrible person for finding my passion to help out in orphanages and nature preserves in Africa.
Omg! THIS just happend to me 3 weeks ago! I was planning since 6months my trip (that i was suppose to do with my boyfriend) in thailand and one month before leaving, i told me that finaly he don't want to come with me ! So i say to myself: "You know what? I will never again wait for someone to do something that i want to do!" And finaly i went there by myself and during the trip our relationship end and i had amazing time there amd meet new people and everything :) your SO right! Its nice to know that you think the same that i do cause my friends and family dont think like that ! Love you and thanks for sharing that with us 😘😘
Seriously this is so true!! Just ended my relationship because we didnt have the same goals and ambitions in life. I feel bad that I know it hurt him more than me but I'm so glad I did because now I dont feel stressed about being with him because hes happy and I wasnt. Trying to step up and do what I want for me and to make me grow as a person.
I agree. And I always felt like I had unrealistic ambitions however, in this case I was dating a guy who wanted to get married. He wanted to have kids. but he didn't have a job, didn't go to school. And the entire time we were dating, he just played video games all day and seemed content on doing so. While I agree that having unrealistic standards will hurt a relationship, I dont feel that wanting a partner who is ambition in their own lives is an unreasonable standard.
You are one of the most amazing people I've ever listened to speaking. You really should do a TED talk on this subject. I would really be there for that.
I'm in a relationship for about four years now and my dream is to leave the country for a year. My bf always told me that he'll leave me if I do. So what? Last sunday I booked my flight and the plane to Sydney takes off in 171 days. We still enjoy our time together, but he keeps promising to leave me if I leave. First thing is I think he loves me too much to break up. But anyway, what I'll might loose is literally nothing comparing to the experiences I'll gain.
I travel constantly by myself. I have been married for 32 years and my husband rarely accompanies me. He encourages me and is very interested in my travels. He simply is a homebody and I am a wanderer. It's worked so far.
The main reason my 6 year relationship ended was because at the end of the day he was happy working the 9-5 and wanted to buy a house and settle down. I knew that's completely opposite to what I wanted to do, I wanted to travel and long enough to really live in other countries, he didn't. So everything else sort of fell apart. We weren't the same at our cores and it just didn't work. Now I'm in Australia on a working holiday visa loving every damn minute and having zero regrets! 😌 I have to say your videos Aly helped me gained the courage I needed to really follow my dreams!
Surely it's important that people go through those relationships with those they eventually realise they aren't compatible with to know deeply what they value and want from a partner.
I love your honesty and it's so true!! I was in a controlling realthionship for the last 6 years. Now it's over I've just booked my flights to Cambodia for 4 weeks in March and then off to Singapore, Laos and Vietnam at the end of summer when I've finished collage! I'm super excited and I wish I never let a man hold me back , I never will again!! Amazing advice I just hope it gets through to people as it can be hard to make a decision when ur in that situation but luckily for me the decision was already made for me and I'm glad I'm a single ladie now doing all the things I've wanted to do for so long!!!
My boyfriend supports me, I want to travel, I'm leaving in two weeks, and it's ok :) he want's to travel too for his work, and I will also support him. I love that we have our dreams and we are making sure they come true, it's all about freedom and happiness.. I'm a lucky girl :) I'm happy with my decisions (still a bit scared to leave, but I love that I'm doing this!)
Perfect timing. However, I have to say it is not always that easy. Leaving the person I love and spend half my life with is the hardest thing I ever had to go through. It was a very long way of doupt and despair. Heart against head. But in the end, it is MY life.
This video changed my life, honestly. Thank you for waking me up to why I truly should follow what I want to do despite what the hell others say to discourage me and drag me down to be part of the unbearable rat race that I apparently "must" face now or I'm screwed. Most free spirits just tell you to do what you want but I love how you didn't forget to mention why. What you said really stuck in my head and will probably continue to keep me determined for the rest of my life. Thank you :)
This is so so true! love this video. At age 34 I am now heading off to NZ... quit my job of 11 years, sold off all my stuff and I am ready to go on my big adventure. Roll on Sept 17!
I love you and your strong spirit! I dated a guy for 2 years in high school, and at some point I realized I wanted to travel extensively when I got older. I asked him if he wanted to travel through Europe with me in a few years, and his exact words were “yeah we could do that for a week” and that was the moment I knew it was over.
I'm lucky in that I'm marrying a man who a) also loves to travel, and b) is supportive of me travelling on my own as well. Well, I guess it's not really luck, as I've chosen him haha!
Soooooo true! This is SPOT on! I'm lucky, my husband isn't crazy about travel, but he's never had an issue with me just randomly taking off on a trip. He even brags to friends about all my adventures.
Liked this video SO HARD!!! Years ago I was married and dreamed of going to Egypt, my X never contributed to saving towards the trip and didn't really act like he wanted to go. One day I asked him, 'Hey, what if I just go by myself? It would be easier to save for one person.' He looked at me like I was fucking crazy, and pretty much told me he did not approve of me going anywhere alone. We ended up divorcing a few years later for (MANY) reasons, and it felt so satisfying going to Egypt solo for my divorce present to myself :D That was the first international trip I went on and I'm not stopping anytime soon! Still haven't found a travel mate, but thats okay as I do enjoy solo travel.
This is exactly what is holding me back. My family and friends keep telling me that it's too dangerous to travel or running off too back pack around Europe is dumb. One of my friends have been very supportive but I have yet to work up the guts to tell my family what I want. I want to go on a working holiday in the UK for two years and back pack around the world but what everyone will think scares me. I have only travelled solo twice but have been traveling since I was a baby with my family but only too places in North America. Oh and love your videos, your so inspiring!!!
+Jaclyn Johnson I've lost count how many solo travellers I've met on my recent travels, and would say a higher percentage of them are female - it's all about common sense, which I am sure you have - also, technology has changed how we communicate nowadays; my mum and I are very close, and I speak to her once a week using an app called Viber, which is basically very cheap calls over the internet, and you can call mobiles etc. For an hour conversation I spent about £2. I also use WhatsApp and Skype.
I was in your position when I was in my twenties. I am 31 now. By the time I was 22 I had a very serious boyfriend a job I hated and I owned a house I didn't even want. I did his because the whole marriage and white picket fence thing is what is expected. By the time I was 26 I then realized it was the expectations of society, my parents wanting me to stay close by and my boyfriend refusing to leave the comforts of his computer to play video games all day and his lack of desire to leave the country that I realized this wasn't for me. I broke up with a boyfriend of seven years, sold the house and basically told my parents that they have controlled my life enough. I bought a one way ticket to London and started my backpacking adventure and I haven't looked back. Don't let them keep you from what you want to do. You are a strong woman who can obtain anything she desires
Thank You! Its nice to hear about others who had been in the same boat that I am currently in but overcame it in the end. I am slowly working my way to achieving what I want in my life but haven't quite gotten their yet. Ive set a deadline for myself that after I get my braces removed I will finally sign that form to go on a working holiday to wherever I desire or just drop everything and go backpacking solo.
Hey Aly, we love watching your videos and share your sense of humor! We're traveling the world as well and would love to grab a coffee with you if we're ever in the same place :) We're on RUclips and gregandsara.net/travel.
What if the only person holding you back IS you? For me, I have a social anxiety. No one is holding me back, but ME, because I'm scared! What if I don't meet anyone? What if I don't have the money? What if I get lost? What if I don't know what to do because I'm new at this? It all seems so overwhelming. I just want to go travelling but I guess maybe I'm a bit afraid of what other's will think, and people while I'm travelling. I just have to many fears. Also, how do I have the money. I have watched all your videos and I know ways to save money but the processes of going through everything seems overwhelming.
So many times life just gets in the way. I'm not one to travel, but I wanted us (husband) and I to take one big trip because we never took a honeymoon. We married so young. He worried with work, bills, responsibilities (we have 5 kids), and kept putting it off. In our marriage, it wasn't a big deal, and I wanted a trip WITH him. We worked well together, but he died suddenly at 45 last year. Actually day you made this was 1 yr anniversary of his death, Valentine's Day. You always think you have time. We ran out of time. First time I'm even thinking of taking the kids somewhere in a few yrs on my own, and I'm a homebody who gets nervous going somewhere new in my own state.
Haven’t watched this video in years and I’m so glad I rewatched it. I have been putting aside my desire to travel for years and I’m finally gonna save up and do it. I can’t wait.
Hopefully doing an exchange programme to China in the summer for a little while, So nervous and my parents are too but it's too good of an opportunity to turn down! I'm so excited to finally travel!
What passion! You must be an absolute terrific travel companion! However...., please tell me that you do NOT talk in your sleep? Because....you know.....too much of anything they say will kill you, : ) Again...., great video and I am a new subscriber. Oh my.
I really enjoy your videos and I view you as a role model. I'm 18 and at the point where I have to decide between going to college or going off to travel. I love travel, but I also want to get a degree. I'm also a bit nervous that if I were to take off and travel, I would have a tough time finding any jobs abroad because of my age and inexperience. I am sort of looking forward to college because I've always been very good at school, but part of me feels like it will suck the life out of me and not fulfill my sense of adventure. My family is very supportive either way, it is really just my own fear and uncertainty holding me back. I'm usually good at making decisions, but this one is tough for me. Your videos always inspire me. :)
Good luck!! Yeah tough decision. I went to one semester of community college after graduating from high school, and quickly decided I wanted to do something else. So I took the next semester off and then saved up for a summer in Europe.
+Meredith Anderson When i was 18 I was in the exact same position as you - deciding between university and travel. I picked university as I had a passion that I wanted to study and although I found it tough, I gained a lot of life experiences and do not regret my decision. I graduated last summer and I am now travelling Australia and love love it. I think if you have a subject you really want to study then pick college first. You can travel between semesters and do an international year as well. If I had travelled first I would never have wanted to go back to education and I am so glad I did it that way around. If you aren't sure what to study then you can take a gap year and then see. Whatever you decide, just make sure it is the right decision for you right now, not thinking about 40 years in the future, and you can't go wrong. Good luck with whatever you choose!
I was in the same position as you. i chose to go to uni because I was in the last year of lower fees. personally uni gave me so much confidence by living alone, meeting new people, developing skills and independence. then since I've left I've been working and travelling the world. uni then travel worked perfectly for me. but it's totally based on how you feel. Just think about what you want to do. can you go to uni and travel during holidays? (theres a lot of holiday time in uni lol)
I was in the same situation when I left school but I had no money to travel or enough experience to get a job to save some money. I chose a course I knew I would enjoy and now I have just over a year left, university opens up so many opportunities and I've managed to travel 14 countries in Europe too just during my holidays! university offers study abroad too which is a great way to travel and if you start your degree at 18 you'll still have tons of time to travel after you graduate :)
+Meredith Anderson Uni and travel are compatible, you can definitely do both if that is what you want. I have been over seas for at least a month twice a year for the last two years since I started my bachelors degree. You get a LOT of holidays. :) Then once you are finished you will be able to go for longer and maybe work overseas with your new degree.
This is generally a very good video with excellent points made, but you said it yourself, girl - people are choosing people that want to hold them back! (at 06:30) I have been married to my homebody husband for 27 years and I love to travel, so I do and we're both fine with it! It's really choosing the right person, the person who honours you, encourages you to be "you", and then you yourself have to not harbour resentments about your differences! I like my own company, I occasionally miss him for a moment, but generally it's fine! We Skype and share when I'm away, and we're both happy! I don't travel for months on end, so it's a nice balance for both of us. It's called being a "good" couple. I really appreciate this video and your passion, girl, as - you're right - so many people need the reality check and sometimes a kick in the pants - so thank you for this, for them! :) P.S. This is so good I'm putting on my facebook page. You go, girl!!! Preach! :D
I totally agree with you, my boyfriend has no interest in traveling what so ever but he himself told me that he wants me to do what I want to do, and he fully supports me 100% he doesn't want to hold me back from living my life. I love him dearly for that because I plan I doing lots of travels, probably not a lot of international but nonetheless I will travel and I have support from both my bf and family. if you find the right person, they will fully support you in anything and everything
+Jennifer S That is so great to hear! Congrats, you got a good one! (wink) (ha). Not that it's right or wrong as a couple (traveling together or not), you have to be on the same page! Have fun!
Yep right on! I waited around back after uni to go travel with my ex & he decided he didn't want to go, I told him I was going anyway & he came but man it was like having a child with you & I broke up with him after we got back almost a year later. I would have enjoyed it heaps more without him there but made sure I did and experianced what I wanted to! All my trips since then have been heaps better & I'm getting married to someone next month who I met in New Zealand and already we have been on several trips around Europe together. Always out yourself #1 and take the opportunity - not everyone has the opportunity to travel - seize it! Much love Priti
It's weird because I am always living for other people, basically their approval. It's hard to not. I got a tattoo a week ago, it says...live for yourself. It reminds me. But it is still very hard because of my anxiety.
People put obstacles in the way - I only say this because that's what I did for 24 years before I quit my job to travel and be responsible for my own future. When I was 18 I booked a holiday to Spain with a mate, he dropped out, but I was determined to go, so, went alone, and it was the right decision. I returned more confident. Your life is in your hands, so true. Love your passion.
I have never commented on a RUclips video, but I cannot leave without saying I FUCKING LOVE YOU. Your passion and mindset remind me of myself. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and booked my very first one way ticket. Only took me 25 years but the dream starts soon! Better late then never.
If you do whatever you want, you also will be alone. If you travel too much without your partner, you will be alone. Unless you want an open relationship
+PyshoTraveller It was last year it happened to me. Cancun spring break we met a few guys there also from the UK, doing intern-ships in New York. About 2 weeks after i got home from Cancun one of the guys text me (6am UK time) "Fancy EDC New York in May"(Dance music festival). I thought about it for about 5 seconds and was like yeah as if! An hour later i had booked a return flight, my festival ticket and ordered X amount of dollars. I went alone, to meet somebody i barely knew. Had an amazing 4 days and the weather was awesome. It was on the flight home, i realised i needed this spontaneous life. I spent 7 years at uni and now have a job relating to that which i hate. I ever got in to a relationship around Christmas with someone who said she'd wait for me whilst i went.. That didn't last as she basically shit he self at the thought of me so far away for so long. Fair play to her. The moral of the story. If stuff sucks, make it right. Risk = reward. I love that you did this video
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain
It's not about people not letting me go though. I will be traveling without any of the people close to me. I am going to do it and I have always wanted to do it on my own. I am very afraid my relationship with my will be ruined... He is not happy about me leaving him at home for about 2-3 months, but he tries his best to support me. He let's me go, but I am so afraid we will drift apart.
My parents didn't want me to come to Italy (or anywhere actually) because of who knows what. I booked the flight and told them: I'm going to Italy. And here I am, after 3 months, happier than ever 😭😍😊❤
What if my boyfriend is my family? I grew up with him. My parents not really present. Then what if I go and I get homesick one day and want to go back home to him? Then what? It will be too late by then? Can someone give me some advice? (He doesn't want to travel until he's 35 when he is rich from passive income, i want to travel now because I want more than just traveling i want adventure freedom it goes deeper than just "traveling")
I love this video. I wasted 10 yrs of my life b/c of a partner who I now detest. I m ready 2 now travel n move 2 some random place, possibly open up a bed n bkfst? thinking Costa Rica? prob is I am now 33 w/a 5 yr old. she is ready 4 an adventure too! i do not want to waste any more time. any suggestions on how to live a "wanderlust" life w/a kid? o, n no $? I'm sure u have run into many different kind of ppl on ur journeys n may have some helpful knowledge/insight to get me to a life I can live with while still being a good parent. i am determined...please help! thanks!
I've been with a guy for 2 years. During summer I always go travelling a lot and he always complaint. He just stayed home complaining and that was exhausting also for me. This summer he went mad and said my trips were useless, (really you say that to me??) . when I was in Germany he left me because "I didn't concerne about him enough " .. never heard about him anymore. . After a month of loneliness I went backpacking with my cousin in England. . has been the travel of my life. . now I feel so free and daring. In 4 months I'm going to move to China from Italy . would never dared before! Thank you ex, sincerely! I understood I can manage to be happy just to be by myself!
Im going through something similar. My gf has the travel bug but she does not want to come to live with me in Sidney, she wants to travel and study alone in Europe before that, as I did for 2 years. But by the time she finishes that, I will be over 30... :'(
wise words! I'm from Canada and when I was 20 I started dating this guy. I wanted to go to Europe and he said "well I'm not going" I booked the trip and spent 2 weeks in France and 2 weeks in Spain with my sister. Came home and my mother booked a week in Las Vegas for my 21st bday. He once again said "I'm not going". I think he thought I wouldn't go. The 3rd time I booked a trip while dating him it was to California and he said "can I come?" our relationship changed that trip. He got the travel bug. He proposed to me that year and while planning the wedding he said "let's do a destination" so we got married on the beach in Jamaica and never looked back 😊.
Hi Ali, I like your videos, the way you explain, your passion about travel and the way you speak... really like. I want to travel in my life and that's it. I want to explore different places, see and really feel that all places, people, animals and their life, culture etc. I want to come back the same places after visit other places and tell story to same places about that other places. there is lots of thing that I want during or related to my travel journey. I haven't lots of money for travel and didn't get visa for 2 times but I'll try. I tried to save money but there is family expense and more so i couldn't succeed. I tried working holiday visa for Australia and New Zealand But Indians are not Valid for that. Sorry its long boring story... If you come to India then contact me, may be I'll be useful for your travel journey.
Just go and do it? Few people have a ' travel the world ' bank account. It's easy to be idealistic. Don't be so judgemental of others who want to travel but choose to pay for school instead.
People have different interests and inclinations. If you can't adjust and compromise a bit then don't even bother getting into a relationship in the first place. Talk all you want about compatibility etc but things are never perfect.
So true! But sometimes if you're lucky, long distance is possible. 4 years together, he's stayed home and I've lived in 3 countries in the past 3 years. I'll see him in 149 days for the first time in over 2 years. :)
Those partners are called dream killers my ex-wife is one of those, now she is jealous but I do travelling with our daughter and sometimes my mother and by myself
I have serious health issues but want to travel anyway. My therapist said that i made so much progress last holidays. Of course no mom would let her disabled son go abroad. Know what? Just booked a flexible return flight to Bangkok. Friends are already waiting there. unfortunately i have to wait until February2018. But this gives me time to learn iMovie. To encourage other stroke survivors/disabled who always were told they can’t do this can’t do that, I’ll try to put it on camera
I just showed this to my almost 17 year old daughter since she wants to travel the world as well. The main person who holds a person back is the person himself or herself because they are afraid of the known. I moved out at 18 and I traveled all my life but not as much as I would not have wanted to and it was usually with family. I had the opportunity to volunteer with an organziation to go overseas, but did not, because I was very shy and afraid to be without my family. I had the application and everything (back in the 80s) Ill be 49 this year and I can say I wish I had done it. I'm glad I did travel as much as I did when I was younger, but as I said above I wanted to do MORE...so we continue to do MORE now. It's never too late. Of course it is not as easy on the body traveling as we get older. We tire more easily than someone in their 20s...that is why I agree young people should do it NOW and don't wait until you are older. OF course make sure you are of legal age and have some type of plan. Let people know where you are, so you don't go missing. I do believe in traveling in as safe manner as possible. I'm sure you have a video about how to avoid scams, what to look out for, etc... if not, please make one :) Hug Melody
Last year I decided to quit Uni and move to England instead... 3 weeks later I was gone. I have been in London for 8 months now and don't regret a thing!
Yeah maybe if you are in your 20s you’d leave your bf doing that but if your bf leaves on a long trip with some friend without at the age of 40 without any calls or msgs that is little odd!
I like your attitude! We really need to learn to stop giving a shit about what others tell us and say fuck u to the rules of society. Being yourself and following your heart is the most amazing thing in the whole wide world!
I met my boyfriend when we both booked our travelling, we never stopped each other - a year on we're visiting each other in our countries we're doing a WHV with the plans once our visa is up to go home and get a house together! If someone stops you its not meant to be, but also let each other fly and it can bring you both together ☺️☺️
Love love love! I know this sounds cheesy but I literally cried during this video. This has been my biggest issue when coming to the decision of traveling. It is my biggest passion but I'm extremely in love with someone who wants nothing to do with it. I feel like my heart is ripping out of my chest. I'm mentally preparing myself for this end to a relationship because I'm going to travel because in my soul I need to do this.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and its upsetting how he doesnt want to come travel with me but simply settled to an everyday job. travelling is my passion and thats what i want to do full time. i have booked my one way ticket to thailand in september with my brother and not sure when i will be coming back. He recons i wont enjoy it and will come back after a month but i doubt that. i hate living in Uk and this cold weather. im sick of working in shitty retail jobs also. i do have a degree but full time job right now is not for me. maybe in 10years after all my travel. thank you for making this video and just reasuring us all. i really needed this.
Miriam x
Couples should always travel and explore the world together, these are stories you tell your children when you're old. However you yourself said he settled, which is sad really because your life goals and his just don't match. Hope your trip is amazing anyways!
+Miriamka this is exactly how I feel!
Yeah I do live in a fairytale which I want to make real. I rather live in a fairytale though that think like you. I don't need to work to travel. There are many other ways to get money such as having a hobby that provides you income. I am sure everyone is working on finding themselves, in my case I enjoy being lost. And no thank you, I do not want to get a job, I don't need a house and I don't want a family. You can do that.. all I want is to be free.
She can work while she is on the road to afford her travel adventures. I have been traveling for years and I have afforded it by bartending my way through the places I am visiting as well as working in exchange for room and board in hostels. There are many ways to earn money while on the road. Ali made a video going into more depth
Miriamka how did it work out for you? I'm in a similar situation to how yours was
I'm older than most of the subscribers here and I want to say Psycho Traveller is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Do not marry or be with someone who you don't LOVE doing things with you...relationships are difficult enough...and if you have completely different interests those butterflies is not enough to keep people together. Even if you don't have the exact same interest...that is where the person will compromise and do things you like as you will do for them....BUT NEVER does a life partner tell you that you CANNOT do something. Life is tooooo short not to do what you LOVE...Hugs Melody
+Living Free Forever Exactly! :D
+PsychoTraveller well um......if you get single i got a sailboat i could do with a travel partner :)
Im about to marry the person who dont love doing things with me.
from the Movie The Pursuit of Happyness : "don't ever let somebody tell you "you can't do something", You've got a dream, you gotta protect it, people can't do something themselves they wanna tell you "you can't do it", YOU WANT SOMETHING GO GET IT.
I travel but not with my husband. He doesn't care for travel. The only traveling I get him to do is if it's nearby and only for a weekend. But he doesn't try to stop me.
Perfect time to hear this! I'm leaving the country tomorrow even though my boyfriend doesn't want me to go. Going to have a great time anyway fuck it
+Hannah Stokes hope you have fun! c(=
+Hannah Stokes Hope you have an AMAZING time!!
selfish assholes that wont let people do what they want with their own lives ^^^
So trying to find yourself and what you love is a horrible thing? Then I am a horrible person for finding my passion to help out in orphanages and nature preserves in Africa.
Omg! THIS just happend to me 3 weeks ago! I was planning since 6months my trip (that i was suppose to do with my boyfriend) in thailand and one month before leaving, i told me that finaly he don't want to come with me ! So i say to myself: "You know what? I will never again wait for someone to do something that i want to do!" And finaly i went there by myself and during the trip our relationship end and i had amazing time there amd meet new people and everything :) your SO right! Its nice to know that you think the same that i do cause my friends and family dont think like that ! Love you and thanks for sharing that with us 😘😘
+Mélissa Paquet You go girl!
Seriously this is so true!! Just ended my relationship because we didnt have the same goals and ambitions in life. I feel bad that I know it hurt him more than me but I'm so glad I did because now I dont feel stressed about being with him because hes happy and I wasnt. Trying to step up and do what I want for me and to make me grow as a person.
+Maya M Absolutely love! It hurts for a little while but I'm happy to see you took control and it will be better for everyone in the long run :)
I agree. And I always felt like I had unrealistic ambitions however, in this case I was dating a guy who wanted to get married. He wanted to have kids. but he didn't have a job, didn't go to school. And the entire time we were dating, he just played video games all day and seemed content on doing so. While I agree that having unrealistic standards will hurt a relationship, I dont feel that wanting a partner who is ambition in their own lives is an unreasonable standard.
How is she high maintenance? Following your passion is what she needs to do to be happy in this life
You are one of the most amazing people I've ever listened to speaking. You really should do a TED talk on this subject. I would really be there for that.
I'm in a relationship for about four years now and my dream is to leave the country for a year. My bf always told me that he'll leave me if I do. So what? Last sunday I booked my flight and the plane to Sydney takes off in 171 days. We still enjoy our time together, but he keeps promising to leave me if I leave. First thing is I think he loves me too much to break up. But anyway, what I'll might loose is literally nothing comparing to the experiences I'll gain.
If you feel like that why are you with him in the first place
This really teared me up. Thank you very much Ali!!!!
I travel constantly by myself. I have been married for 32 years and my husband rarely accompanies me. He encourages me and is very interested in my travels. He simply is a homebody and I am a wanderer. It's worked so far.
+Vickie Noyes That's really good to hear :)
You're so right. If you have wanderlust and your OH doesn't. It's an obvious incompatibility even if you're compatible in other ways.
The main reason my 6 year relationship ended was because at the end of the day he was happy working the 9-5 and wanted to buy a house and settle down. I knew that's completely opposite to what I wanted to do, I wanted to travel and long enough to really live in other countries, he didn't. So everything else sort of fell apart. We weren't the same at our cores and it just didn't work. Now I'm in Australia on a working holiday visa loving every damn minute and having zero regrets! 😌 I have to say your videos Aly helped me gained the courage I needed to really follow my dreams!
It’s 3 years later and I still regularly recommend this video to people.
Surely it's important that people go through those relationships with those they eventually realise they aren't compatible with to know deeply what they value and want from a partner.
Thank you. Sometime you just need to be told by someone else what you already know.
I wish you made this years ago. I pretty much did what my parents/boyfriend wanted me to do and I've been so unhappy. your so smart and strong.
I love your honesty and it's so true!! I was in a controlling realthionship for the last 6 years. Now it's over I've just booked my flights to Cambodia for 4 weeks in March and then off to Singapore, Laos and Vietnam at the end of summer when I've finished collage! I'm super excited and I wish I never let a man hold me back , I never will again!! Amazing advice I just hope it gets through to people as it can be hard to make a decision when ur in that situation but luckily for me the decision was already made for me and I'm glad I'm a single ladie now doing all the things I've wanted to do for so long!!!
My boyfriend supports me, I want to travel, I'm leaving in two weeks, and it's ok :) he want's to travel too for his work, and I will also support him. I love that we have our dreams and we are making sure they come true, it's all about freedom and happiness.. I'm a lucky girl :) I'm happy with my decisions (still a bit scared to leave, but I love that I'm doing this!)
This Video touched my soul.
Perfect timing.
However, I have to say it is not always that easy. Leaving the person I love and spend half my life with is the hardest thing I ever had to go through. It was a very long way of doupt and despair. Heart against head.
But in the end, it is MY life.
Great advice! Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you want. So many women do what their partner wants. Wish I'd learned it when I was your age.
I just did this had to leave them.
I hope you had your shoes off! :)
This video changed my life, honestly. Thank you for waking me up to why I truly should follow what I want to do despite what the hell others say to discourage me and drag me down to be part of the unbearable rat race that I apparently "must" face now or I'm screwed. Most free spirits just tell you to do what you want but I love how you didn't forget to mention why. What you said really stuck in my head and will probably continue to keep me determined for the rest of my life. Thank you :)
This is so so true! love this video. At age 34 I am now heading off to NZ... quit my job of 11 years, sold off all my stuff and I am ready to go on my big adventure. Roll on Sept 17!
I love you and your strong spirit! I dated a guy for 2 years in high school, and at some point I realized I wanted to travel extensively when I got older. I asked him if he wanted to travel through Europe with me in a few years, and his exact words were “yeah we could do that for a week” and that was the moment I knew it was over.
I'm lucky in that I'm marrying a man who a) also loves to travel, and b) is supportive of me travelling on my own as well. Well, I guess it's not really luck, as I've chosen him haha!
Soooooo true! This is SPOT on! I'm lucky, my husband isn't crazy about travel, but he's never had an issue with me just randomly taking off on a trip. He even brags to friends about all my adventures.
+pirategirlkc That's amazing!! :)
Most inspirational video I've ever watched in my life
Liked this video SO HARD!!! Years ago I was married and dreamed of going to Egypt, my X never contributed to saving towards the trip and didn't really act like he wanted to go. One day I asked him, 'Hey, what if I just go by myself? It would be easier to save for one person.' He looked at me like I was fucking crazy, and pretty much told me he did not approve of me going anywhere alone. We ended up divorcing a few years later for (MANY) reasons, and it felt so satisfying going to Egypt solo for my divorce present to myself :D That was the first international trip I went on and I'm not stopping anytime soon! Still haven't found a travel mate, but thats okay as I do enjoy solo travel.
This is exactly what is holding me back. My family and friends keep telling me that it's too dangerous to travel or running off too back pack around Europe is dumb. One of my friends have been very supportive but I have yet to work up the guts to tell my family what I want. I want to go on a working holiday in the UK for two years and back pack around the world but what everyone will think scares me. I have only travelled solo twice but have been traveling since I was a baby with my family but only too places in North America. Oh and love your videos, your so inspiring!!!
uuuum... Europe is pretty damn save to travel, so go for it!!
Don't be scared! Aly is right, you can't let others dictate your life for you! Just go, you won't regret it! :D
+Jaclyn Johnson I've lost count how many solo travellers I've met on my recent travels, and would say a higher percentage of them are female - it's all about common sense, which I am sure you have - also, technology has changed how we communicate nowadays; my mum and I are very close, and I speak to her once a week using an app called Viber, which is basically very cheap calls over the internet, and you can call mobiles etc. For an hour conversation I spent about £2. I also use WhatsApp and Skype.
I was in your position when I was in my twenties. I am 31 now. By the time I was 22 I had a very serious boyfriend a job I hated and I owned a house I didn't even want. I did his because the whole marriage and white picket fence thing is what is expected. By the time I was 26 I then realized it was the expectations of society, my parents wanting me to stay close by and my boyfriend refusing to leave the comforts of his computer to play video games all day and his lack of desire to leave the country that I realized this wasn't for me. I broke up with a boyfriend of seven years, sold the house and basically told my parents that they have controlled my life enough. I bought a one way ticket to London and started my backpacking adventure and I haven't looked back. Don't let them keep you from what you want to do. You are a strong woman who can obtain anything she desires
Thank You! Its nice to hear about others who had been in the same boat that I am currently in but overcame it in the end. I am slowly working my way to achieving what I want in my life but haven't quite gotten their yet. Ive set a deadline for myself that after I get my braces removed I will finally sign that form to go on a working holiday to wherever I desire or just drop everything and go backpacking solo.
Hey Aly, we love watching your videos and share your sense of humor! We're traveling the world as well and would love to grab a coffee with you if we're ever in the same place :) We're on RUclips and gregandsara.net/travel.
your energy is so amazing! thank you so much!!
What if the only person holding you back IS you? For me, I have a social anxiety. No one is holding me back, but ME, because I'm scared! What if I don't meet anyone? What if I don't have the money? What if I get lost? What if I don't know what to do because I'm new at this? It all seems so overwhelming. I just want to go travelling but I guess maybe I'm a bit afraid of what other's will think, and people while I'm travelling. I just have to many fears. Also, how do I have the money. I have watched all your videos and I know ways to save money but the processes of going through everything seems overwhelming.
So many times life just gets in the way. I'm not one to travel, but I wanted us (husband) and I to take one big trip because we never took a honeymoon. We married so young. He worried with work, bills, responsibilities (we have 5 kids), and kept putting it off. In our marriage, it wasn't a big deal, and I wanted a trip WITH him. We worked well together, but he died suddenly at 45 last year. Actually day you made this was 1 yr anniversary of his death, Valentine's Day. You always think you have time. We ran out of time. First time I'm even thinking of taking the kids somewhere in a few yrs on my own, and I'm a homebody who gets nervous going somewhere new in my own state.
Haven’t watched this video in years and I’m so glad I rewatched it. I have been putting aside my desire to travel for years and I’m finally gonna save up and do it. I can’t wait.
Hopefully doing an exchange programme to China in the summer for a little while, So nervous and my parents are too but it's too good of an opportunity to turn down! I'm so excited to finally travel!
What passion! You must be an absolute terrific travel companion! However...., please tell me that you do NOT talk in your sleep? Because....you know.....too much of anything they say will kill you, : ) Again...., great video and I am a new subscriber. Oh my.
I really enjoy your videos and I view you as a role model. I'm 18 and at the point where I have to decide between going to college or going off to travel. I love travel, but I also want to get a degree. I'm also a bit nervous that if I were to take off and travel, I would have a tough time finding any jobs abroad because of my age and inexperience. I am sort of looking forward to college because I've always been very good at school, but part of me feels like it will suck the life out of me and not fulfill my sense of adventure. My family is very supportive either way, it is really just my own fear and uncertainty holding me back. I'm usually good at making decisions, but this one is tough for me. Your videos always inspire me. :)
Good luck!! Yeah tough decision. I went to one semester of community college after graduating from high school, and quickly decided I wanted to do something else. So I took the next semester off and then saved up for a summer in Europe.
+Meredith Anderson When i was 18 I was in the exact same position as you - deciding between university and travel. I picked university as I had a passion that I wanted to study and although I found it tough, I gained a lot of life experiences and do not regret my decision. I graduated last summer and I am now travelling Australia and love love it. I think if you have a subject you really want to study then pick college first. You can travel between semesters and do an international year as well. If I had travelled first I would never have wanted to go back to education and I am so glad I did it that way around. If you aren't sure what to study then you can take a gap year and then see. Whatever you decide, just make sure it is the right decision for you right now, not thinking about 40 years in the future, and you can't go wrong. Good luck with whatever you choose!
I was in the same position as you. i chose to go to uni because I was in the last year of lower fees. personally uni gave me so much confidence by living alone, meeting new people, developing skills and independence. then since I've left I've been working and travelling the world. uni then travel worked perfectly for me. but it's totally based on how you feel. Just think about what you want to do. can you go to uni and travel during holidays? (theres a lot of holiday time in uni lol)
I was in the same situation when I left school but I had no money to travel or enough experience to get a job to save some money. I chose a course I knew I would enjoy and now I have just over a year left, university opens up so many opportunities and I've managed to travel 14 countries in Europe too just during my holidays! university offers study abroad too which is a great way to travel and if you start your degree at 18 you'll still have tons of time to travel after you graduate :)
+Meredith Anderson Uni and travel are compatible, you can definitely do both if that is what you want. I have been over seas for at least a month twice a year for the last two years since I started my bachelors degree. You get a LOT of holidays. :) Then once you are finished you will be able to go for longer and maybe work overseas with your new degree.
This is generally a very good video with excellent points made, but you said it yourself, girl - people are choosing people that want to hold them back! (at 06:30) I have been married to my homebody husband for 27 years and I love to travel, so I do and we're both fine with it! It's really choosing the right person, the person who honours you, encourages you to be "you", and then you yourself have to not harbour resentments about your differences! I like my own company, I occasionally miss him for a moment, but generally it's fine! We Skype and share when I'm away, and we're both happy! I don't travel for months on end, so it's a nice balance for both of us. It's called being a "good" couple. I really appreciate this video and your passion, girl, as - you're right - so many people need the reality check and sometimes a kick in the pants - so thank you for this, for them! :) P.S. This is so good I'm putting on my facebook page. You go, girl!!! Preach! :D
I totally agree with you, my boyfriend has no interest in traveling what so ever but he himself told me that he wants me to do what I want to do, and he fully supports me 100% he doesn't want to hold me back from living my life. I love him dearly for that because I plan I doing lots of travels, probably not a lot of international but nonetheless I will travel and I have support from both my bf and family. if you find the right person, they will fully support you in anything and everything
+Jennifer S That is so great to hear! Congrats, you got a good one! (wink) (ha). Not that it's right or wrong as a couple (traveling together or not), you have to be on the same page! Have fun!
Yep right on! I waited around back after uni to go travel with my ex & he decided he didn't want to go, I told him I was going anyway & he came but man it was like having a child with you & I broke up with him after we got back almost a year later. I would have enjoyed it heaps more without him there but made sure I did and experianced what I wanted to! All my trips since then have been heaps better & I'm getting married to someone next month who I met in New Zealand and already we have been on several trips around Europe together.
Always out yourself #1 and take the opportunity - not everyone has the opportunity to travel - seize it!
Much love
Priti
It's weird because I am always living for other people, basically their approval. It's hard to not. I got a tattoo a week ago, it says...live for yourself. It reminds me. But it is still very hard because of my anxiety.
People put obstacles in the way - I only say this because that's what I did for 24 years before I quit my job to travel and be responsible for my own future. When I was 18 I booked a holiday to Spain with a mate, he dropped out, but I was determined to go, so, went alone, and it was the right decision. I returned more confident.
Your life is in your hands, so true. Love your passion.
I have never commented on a RUclips video, but I cannot leave without saying I FUCKING LOVE YOU. Your passion and mindset remind me of myself. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and booked my very first one way ticket. Only took me 25 years but the dream starts soon! Better late then never.
If you do whatever you want, you also will be alone.
If you travel too much without your partner, you will be alone.
Unless you want an open relationship
I swear a lot of people think that anything outside Australia/USA/UK/Canada is just a wasteland with zombies wondering around. Great vid!
+PyshoTraveller It was last year it happened to me. Cancun spring break we met a few guys there also from the UK, doing intern-ships in New York. About 2 weeks after i got home from Cancun one of the guys text me (6am UK time) "Fancy EDC New York in May"(Dance music festival). I thought about it for about 5 seconds and was like yeah as if! An hour later i had booked a return flight, my festival ticket and ordered X amount of dollars. I went alone, to meet somebody i barely knew. Had an amazing 4 days and the weather was awesome. It was on the flight home, i realised i needed this spontaneous life. I spent 7 years at uni and now have a job relating to that which i hate. I ever got in to a relationship around Christmas with someone who said she'd wait for me whilst i went.. That didn't last as she basically shit he self at the thought of me so far away for so long. Fair play to her. The moral of the story. If stuff sucks, make it right. Risk = reward. I love that you did this video
Amen.......Girlfriend.....We only have One Life....So go for it....with funds.....
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Mark Twain
It's not about people not letting me go though. I will be traveling without any of the people close to me. I am going to do it and I have always wanted to do it on my own. I am very afraid my relationship with my will be ruined... He is not happy about me leaving him at home for about 2-3 months, but he tries his best to support me. He let's me go, but I am so afraid we will drift apart.
My parents didn't want me to come to Italy (or anywhere actually) because of who knows what.
I booked the flight and told them: I'm going to Italy. And here I am, after 3 months, happier than ever 😭😍😊❤
What if my boyfriend is my family? I grew up with him. My parents not really present. Then what if I go and I get homesick one day and want to go back home to him? Then what? It will be too late by then? Can someone give me some advice? (He doesn't want to travel until he's 35 when he is rich from passive income, i want to travel now because I want more than just traveling i want adventure freedom it goes deeper than just "traveling")
I love this video. I wasted 10 yrs of my life b/c of a partner who I now detest. I m ready 2 now travel n move 2 some random place, possibly open up a bed n bkfst? thinking Costa Rica? prob is I am now 33 w/a 5 yr old. she is ready 4 an adventure too! i do not want to waste any more time. any suggestions on how to live a "wanderlust" life w/a kid? o, n no $? I'm sure u have run into many different kind of ppl on ur journeys n may have some helpful knowledge/insight to get me to a life I can live with while still being a good parent. i am determined...please help! thanks!
I've been with a guy for 2 years. During summer I always go travelling a lot and he always complaint. He just stayed home complaining and that was exhausting also for me. This summer he went mad and said my trips were useless, (really you say that to me??) . when I was in Germany he left me because "I didn't concerne about him enough " .. never heard about him anymore. . After a month of loneliness I went backpacking with my cousin in England. . has been the travel of my life. . now I feel so free and daring. In 4 months I'm going to move to China from Italy . would never dared before! Thank you ex, sincerely! I understood I can manage to be happy just to be by myself!
I totally agree, but please, stay with this no makeup look. You're good at traveling, you're not good at doing makeup. Sorry.
Im going through something similar.
My gf has the travel bug but she does not want to come to live with me in Sidney, she wants to travel and study alone in Europe before that, as I did for 2 years.
But by the time she finishes that, I will be over 30...
:'(
wise words! I'm from Canada and when I was 20 I started dating this guy. I wanted to go to Europe and he said "well I'm not going" I booked the trip and spent 2 weeks in France and 2 weeks in Spain with my sister. Came home and my mother booked a week in Las Vegas for my 21st bday. He once again said "I'm not going". I think he thought I wouldn't go. The 3rd time I booked a trip while dating him it was to California and he said "can I come?" our relationship changed that trip. He got the travel bug. He proposed to me that year and while planning the wedding he said "let's do a destination" so we got married on the beach in Jamaica and never looked back 😊.
Hi Ali, I like your videos, the way you explain, your passion about travel and the way you speak... really like.
I want to travel in my life and that's it.
I want to explore different places, see and really feel that all places, people, animals and their life, culture etc. I want to come back the same places after visit other places and tell story to same places about that other places. there is lots of thing that I want during or related to my travel journey.
I haven't lots of money for travel and didn't get visa for 2 times but I'll try. I tried to save money but there is family expense and more so i couldn't succeed. I tried working holiday visa for Australia and New Zealand But Indians are not Valid for that.
Sorry its long boring story...
If you come to India then contact me, may be I'll be useful for your travel journey.
Good Video, after watching this I subscribed. :D
Thank you
Ohhh. I've been subbed for ages and thought you mean't your boyfriend didn't want to travel with you anymore and was devo.
Good advice though.
Just go and do it? Few people have a ' travel the world ' bank account. It's easy to be idealistic. Don't be so judgemental of others who want to travel but choose to pay for school instead.
People have different interests and inclinations. If you can't adjust and compromise a bit then don't even bother getting into a relationship in the first place. Talk all you want about compatibility etc but things are never perfect.
So true! But sometimes if you're lucky, long distance is possible. 4 years together, he's stayed home and I've lived in 3 countries in the past 3 years. I'll see him in 149 days for the first time in over 2 years. :)
I'm dealing with this right now. I'm not sure if I want to travel alone. My bf doesn't want to travel with me.
Those partners are called dream killers my ex-wife is one of those, now she is jealous but I do travelling with our daughter and sometimes my mother and by myself
You are Right and thanks for sharing. I enjoy your video. Thanks Mark.
I have serious health issues but want to travel anyway. My therapist said that i made so much progress last holidays. Of course no mom would let her disabled son go abroad. Know what? Just booked a flexible return flight to Bangkok. Friends are already waiting there. unfortunately i have to wait until February2018. But this gives me time to learn iMovie. To encourage other stroke survivors/disabled who always were told they can’t do this can’t do that, I’ll try to put it on camera
I just showed this to my almost 17 year old daughter since she wants to travel the world as well. The main person who holds a person back is the person himself or herself because they are afraid of the known. I moved out at 18 and I traveled all my life but not as much as I would not have wanted to and it was usually with family. I had the opportunity to volunteer with an organziation to go overseas, but did not, because I was very shy and afraid to be without my family. I had the application and everything (back in the 80s) Ill be 49 this year and I can say I wish I had done it. I'm glad I did travel as much as I did when I was younger, but as I said above I wanted to do MORE...so we continue to do MORE now. It's never too late. Of course it is not as easy on the body traveling as we get older. We tire more easily than someone in their 20s...that is why I agree young people should do it NOW and don't wait until you are older. OF course make sure you are of legal age and have some type of plan. Let people know where you are, so you don't go missing. I do believe in traveling in as safe manner as possible. I'm sure you have a video about how to avoid scams, what to look out for, etc... if not, please make one :) Hug Melody
Last year I decided to quit Uni and move to England instead... 3 weeks later I was gone. I have been in London for 8 months now and don't regret a thing!
I am so grateful that I've found your channel
Yeah maybe if you are in your 20s you’d leave your bf doing that but if your bf leaves on a long trip with some friend without at the age of 40 without any calls or msgs that is little odd!
I like your attitude! We really need to learn to stop giving a shit about what others tell us and say fuck u to the rules of society. Being yourself and following your heart is the most amazing thing in the whole wide world!
Excited for becoming 18 and starting all of this.
This is an easy one: Get another boyfriend. Don’t put up with this crap.
I thought you were being harsh but when it comes down to it, you're right. Tough love but no denying you're correct.
Arrgghhh I love you Alyyy! I NEEDED this!! Thank you so much for all your passion
HAHAHAHA Croatia is anything but dangerous xD
Please come to Nepal. I want to meet you. And tour you around Nepal.
Love this video. So true. Very wise words for someone so young. Be true to yourself.
You are the best :) got some good motivation.Thanks
THANK you. Lots of love for you for this video!!!!!!
This is meant a lot to me......I loved the way you said it...it's great inspiration for people like me who are in 20s and got an adventure spirit.
I need this. I'm bricking myself and doing this alone. But a why not I say. I want to see this so soon
If your boyfriend does´nt want to travel with you, you might not be that interesting?
i've never traveled the world alone. getting plane tickets and hotel rooms. to be honest, idk how to do any of it or else i'd do it. ):
im From Australia and am heading to london in January i turn 18 in may and am so excited to start travelling
Right on, exactly right...just do it..
PERFECT VIDEO !! EVERYBODY LISTEN TO HER< SHE IS SOOOOOO RIGHT !!!!
I want to like this video 1000 times! I like you so much :)
You'll take off if you keep flapping your hands
I'm addicted to ur vids😁 can't stop watching
Hi Al, what if you start getting itchy feet in your 40s like me 😮
Just lost 2 years of my life NOT listening to this advise. Lesson learn now!
amazing video,love your attitude (Y)
I met my boyfriend when we both booked our travelling, we never stopped each other - a year on we're visiting each other in our countries we're doing a WHV with the plans once our visa is up to go home and get a house together!
If someone stops you its not meant to be, but also let each other fly and it can bring you both together ☺️☺️
this is the BEST video ever i feel the exact same way!!! wow
Love love love! I know this sounds cheesy but I literally cried during this video. This has been my biggest issue when coming to the decision of traveling. It is my biggest passion but I'm extremely in love with someone who wants nothing to do with it. I feel like my heart is ripping out of my chest. I'm mentally preparing myself for this end to a relationship because I'm going to travel because in my soul I need to do this.
I teared upmyself because of what I know I have to do to find happiness...
So what ever happened ? And and if a good meet, he probably said you go and he would wait and listen to all your adventures ❤️❤️
I tell everyone i never want to get old and say i wish i had done that!!
Omg . You are my role model ! Love you Aly ! 😄😄😄