I’m 70. My addictions. Misuse of food and money. Losing my home as a single parent and the shame of failing my children. I write poetry instead of journaling to help me heal. I am healing. Here is one of my poems. “My face is a roadmap. My face is a roadmap of paralyzed fear It lost the contour of shine Where sadness appears. My face is a roadmap To my story afraid to unfold My face is a roadmap Of all the tears buried beneath the road. My face is a roadmap Where once there was light Molesting father, narcissistic mother and brother Darkened it to ashen abysmal night. For years my hidden molestation is what I thought shredded my soul that didn’t compare to the narcissistic abuse my mother and my religion bestowed. Trampling my heart, lungs, and vocal cords. My face is a roadmap Of religious demise Respect honor your parents at all cost Are the lies. I didn’t fight back, l didn’t utter a word. I didn’t even know what was a healthy loving world. My face is a roadmap Aging lines of frequent attacks From a shell of a mother Reminding me You’re selfish Self centered Regardless of the mountain of love showered to Her impenetrable heart sac. My face is a roadmap Wiped out by the tidal wave of trauma Voice smothered to the depths of all that Surreal drama. Good days I’m grateful to be alive, Rough days I struggle to stay to survive. My face is a roadmap 69 years Stained with tears. It took years layered with abusive narcissistic tasks To turn my roadmap Into a pretend happy face mask. My face is a roadmap It conceals Reveals A generation of trust built on sand A broken trust in me Constantly needs A helping hand Today, I author this piece to drive out my fears I want to claim happiness What’s left of my years. My face is a roadmap Also shows joy It came with a price I’d pay again and again To have my precious girl and boy. There is a truth to a portion of my heart undefeated That truth my two children saved With love over their years They repeated. My face is a roadmap Blake stares To a far away place Where all children are gently loved Always kept safe. “ Kimi swanson Minor
The future of the past is todays memory. And Tomorrows past is the future of all your yesterdays longtime forgotten. Until they circumvent your mind making you remember today……
Mate has shared some useful information, no doubt, but he is only human, and it seems to me his advocacy of things like ayahuasca as a treatment for trauma are highly problematic.
I KNOW all of these to be true. 😔 I watched someone I deeply loved struggle with addiction as an attempt to cope with all 6 of these deeply engrained effects of his trauma in his life. He ultimately lost the battle 💔 but at least he’s now in peace.
This, to me, is the hardest to come to terms with. Sometimes I find myself not taking a chance informed by past experiences, only realizing it after the moment is over. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Wow. This is the most eloquent and powerful description of trauma I have never encountered. Everyone should watch this to understand what trauma is and how it affects everything: your view of world, your ability to connect to it, your sense of time, and above all, your sense of self
How true. I always thought I was weirder than everyone else... But no, I've just been traumatized. Almost all the points sit on me + other issues. Finding books and videos about gabor opened my eyes to what has been weighing on me all my life. Now the only thing is...how to get out of it?
I'm 58 and still trying to sort out huge family trauma and so much death and loss over the years. It still bubbles up. Being around people is difficult, but I'm pushing myself to socialize more. Thank you for these impacts. It will help me know what to focus on in the future.
1 separation from self 2 Disconnection from others 3 Altered worldview- to hostile as opposed to good 4 lifelong pain- pain that stays with you and results in constant escapism 5 cognitive development - trauma inhibits brain development 6 personal shame 7 difficulty being present
Thank you. The chapters in the book of my life. I know I have had guardian angels carrying me. My "childhood" bears no resemblance to that which most people experienced. No. I don't want to go through life from the stance of "victim", but I was a little tiny person! Paltry bits only of nurturing, care, attention, security. Abusive older siblings, I was handy scape goat. I was on my own. Always. By 13 I had stopped living with either "parent", as in 1k miles away, not across town. I was legally emancipated @ 14 cuz I needed treatment for a bleeding ulcer. This is the Truth. I am grateful for resiliance and innate positivity. Gifts to be sure. The good people who provided what my parents could not give: a safe environment and good role modeling until I was 18. These lyrics "This is a lonely lonely life, sorrow is everywhere" (Paul Simon) are true, but "Resiliant" (by Apalachia Rising) is what keeps me going. 🚣♀️🙏🕊
I have lifelong pain inside but also my body hurts most of the time. Sometimes I feel I have had enough of this. But listening to Gabor and searching to find what has been going on I slowly begin to feel beter and have hope for the future. I have no need and no wish to see or talk to my parents and brother again. In fact I would prefer that they just dissapear.
@@miguelpais123 Well, I cannot say I hate them, I just have no need to be with them, I don't miss them, I don't wish them bad or so. I do fine without having contact with them. If I do I'll have to deal with their behaviour again, which hasn't and isn't going to change. So I'm not going to do that to myself just because it's family and society says you should be close to your family.
Without Gabor I would never have realized that it was the trauma my then pregnant mother experienced during Allied bombing raids in the Berlin of WWII. I've long contemplated why sudden loud noises startle and shake me to this day. Her then isolation in another country without close loved ones nearby, may have added to this challenging situation and had its traumatic effect on her babe (me). So how does one remedy such injuries 7+ decades later? It ain't easy, and it may never come to pass.
It's true. I felt that disconnect out of body feeling. I started counting tiles in washroom and felt I don't see it, feel it asking myself why am I awake but asleep like in a blurr fog or not present. That was in 3rd grade. Uptill now the same. I am alive but aa if not fully awake ever. I can't hold a job. I have triggers all the time. I need attention but all I get is rejectiin. Yes, I married a narcissist who was beating me and I was running away but never escaping. I don't feel swlf worth. I need many things to fill the gap of my mother hating me never ever asking about me or being kind. I had never felt I was deserving of love happiness or money. Little to mention I tried to fill the role for other people to like me, having 30 odd jobs. Never was I longer on a job over a year.
Despite how it feels, please know that you do deserve love, happiness and money. It’s “normal” to feel how you feel given what you’ve been through. Hang in there. It can get better. I’m glad you came across this video and hope you have additional resources to rely on as well!
sorry for everything you are going through,i have been there to finally encounter Jesus..He was there all the time and turn everything for the better..i opened my heart and let Him in..may God touch your heatt and listen to your prayers in Jesus name.Amen🙏❤️
So true and well put across. Hope it helps those parenting and significant adults to children, and those who have suffered.... sensitive and with no way to be out of such effects. Thankyou. Bless you.
It’s a road of Awarness development making the unconscious conscious. I would probably say for the first 40 years I was 3% conscious. Now after a hell of a lot of work I am up to 30% conscious. The body hold our secrets. I left my body to survive. Getting back in is my journey.
All I do is navigate my way through the world... Doing my best, moment-to-moment, to endure the least amount of suffering as possible... And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die. There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life. It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery. It's been like this, all 45 years of my life, so far. My heart is shattered. My soul is raped. I cannot endure this hell anymore. Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.
I wish I could tell you things will be better but I don’t know. I’m 28, from the time I was conceived, ppl mistreated me and tried to kill me. I’ve had several suicide attempts and my mother said I was trying to manipulate her being suicidal. Still to this day, I wish my mother aborted me and am trying to forgive the Church for teaching against abortion. Some ppl aren’t meant to be parents and shouldn’t be. They don’t have enough to support a child. You could be a star student like I was and with the wrong parents, they can f up your future and not even take accountability. They won’t even help you clean up their mess, in which, they created for you. I hope to one day experience all the positive emotions there are, ones I was deprived of and never allowed to experience. ❤
Jesus Christ has been my go to...each time my broken dreams stand in front of me. NOBODY AND NOTHING LASTS FOREVER. But His love and assurance is my strength for each new day. SOOO SORRY FOR YOUR EXPERIENCE....
@@ekenechristyike5461 please keep 2 kids Alyssa Siena and Amos Ronald Moriss forevermore in your thoughts & heart prayers. If you can remember me too AlAlina Cristina Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤ God Bless ❤❤❤❤ Alina Cristina please remember me ❤
I'm a retired psychiatrist and addiction medicine specialist, as well as recovering alcoholic/addict, and a great fan of Gabor, also of Hungarian descent. However, these 7 steps are very flawed and just seat of the pants speculations. Also, he never mentions the most powerful recovery tool, that has healed my own childhood trauma defenses: Group therapy, in my case, 12-step groups. We cannot make this journey alone. Finally, he avoids (?) the spiritual dimension, which is central in my recovery journey. Love and peace for one and all! Just don't try to do it alone.
@@trauma2happiness I'm a huge fan of EMDR in the hands of a well trained and experienced psychotherapist, but don't dare call 12-step groups "therapy" (which they obviously are!) down here in the MOV/Marietta, Ohio. In the wrong hands, the 12-step program becomes a rigid religion, rather than the wonderful recovery program that Bill W. meant it to be.
@@StressRUs To my knowledge here in Australia it stays what it was meant to be. I meet people who have a lot of success with it. I have had lots of success with EMDR first as a patient and later as a practitioner. I think being a patient first really helped me when training to be a practitioner.
I'm recognizing me in different points...i'm very lucky 'cos even in bad sufference most of my life i've never need sustances or need to disappear...instead my love did it! Before the addiction then death from addiction...i've never understand his self destructive desire...he was a so special man and i have to live with my sorrow missing him all the time...
Hey guys. My sister (nurse of 20+ years) referred me to this video. I have a complicated past that involves severe abuse (somehow with memories, stepmother) from as young as 2 years, and repeated abandonment from a severely drug addicted dad. As in constantly being left home alone for weeks at a time as young as 5-6. Then once around 15 he finally left and never came home. I thought he was dead, but I guess it was a multi-year drug binge. Anyway. I’m a mess and my fight or flight is so severe that as I age I believe it’s finally beginning to affect me physically. 41 now. I have a career. Children. Wife. My Life is what you would call good, but every day I feel like my life is ending and I’m steeped in depression. I’m open to advice but I don’t think I’ll find a military dr that prescribes me shroom treatment. lol. Anyone?
You've listed 7 profound effects of trauma, which can be interconnected and long-lasting. Here's a brief expansion on each point: 1. Separation from self: Trauma can lead to dissociation, causing a disconnection from one's own thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. 2. Disconnection from others: Trauma can make it challenging to form and maintain healthy relationships, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. 3. Altered worldview: Trauma can shift one's perspective from a positive, trusting outlook to a more negative, hostile, or pessimistic view of the world. 4. Lifelong pain: Traumatic experiences can lead to chronic pain, both physical and emotional, which can be debilitating and lead to coping mechanisms like cognitive escapism. 5. Cognitive development: Trauma can impact brain development, particularly in regions related to emotional regulation, memory, and executive function. 6. Personal shame: Trauma can foster deep-seated shame, self-blame, and self-doubt, making it difficult to maintain a positive self-image. 7. Difficulty being present: Trauma can lead to difficulties with mindfulness and being present in the moment, as the mind may be preoccupied with memories, worries, or fears. These effects can be overwhelming, but it's essential to remember that healing is possible with the right support, resources, and therapies, such as trauma-informed care, counseling, and mindfulness practices.
Thank you for your very clear explaination how traumatas impact our lifes. We are not wrong, we have experienced traumatas and how we react to this ist very normal. Healing means to come in touch with unconditional love. To experience that we are loved und worthy to get attachement and all what we need as human beings. We shall not be ashamed when we seek the face of God, our heavenly father. Jesus came on earth to show us the love of the father.
I got the first 3, learned about total depravity, reading the Bible every year. I think forgiveness is a major key to conquering PTSD. My world view is definitely changed, but I don’t need the world to be a good place like I used to, I know it never was good. Look what it did to Jesus. Heaven is the good place we long for. Follow Christ, obey his commands, believe him! Let the world be wicked, and realize that you truly CAN’T trust most people. And realize that God already has a plan in place to deal with ALL of this mess, including your pain. He’s going to wipe every tear from your eyes and I can’t wait to see such perfect love!!!
Two other trauma experts to explore are Bruce Perry and Daniel Siegel. Like Dr Mate, they are amazing. As a former trauma therapist Dr. Mate, Dr Bruce Perry, & Dr Siegel were my go to for training. 😉
I read Dr. Bruce Perry's book What Happened To You and loved it all the way until I got to the end. He and his friend Oprah say that the trauma "didn't happen TO YOU, it happened FOR YOU." and that is bullshit. Go tell that to people who were abused and not protected from harm. Tell that to children who grew up unwanted by their parents. What a disgusting thing to tell people. I am trauma informed. I believe in healing, but that is a harmful ideology. Like gaslighting victims to tell them it happened FOR THEM.
I don't have addiction, but I was abandoned prior to (she didn't acknowledge i existed) and just after birth. I wish I could find if this doctor talks about how to self-heal from being abandoned at birth.
And to think everyone has trauma !... for this reason alone we all have the responsibility to be introspective rather than putting all the emphasis on the outside. Seems very few are.
Good therapist or self-healing There are couple RUclips channels of clinical psychologist that are helpful. One is by Patrick Teehan. Also a book called Coming Home. I’m a trauma survivor so I hope the resources that are helping my self-healing helps you
@@tamraya23 if you're comfortable about speaking your own trauma could you talk about yours. I would like to know what trauma you have ? And thank you for your comment. I appreciate
@@artemiomusica5465 I grew up in a chaotic household with two parents, who grew up in dysfunctional families, constantly arguing and screaming at each other. They were physically and emotionally abusive to me and my siblings.
@@artemiomusica5465 support groups would be better (online or in-person). If you can’t get yourself to go to an in-person one then consider online thru RUclips posts on for example the channel I mentioned or joining online support groups held by therapists. I wish you the best of luck in your healing journey 💜
I got sick (painful sarcoidosis💥in 93'.... At same time my job of 13 yrs ended & i got emotionally distraughti was using dry erase markers on a board Daily....Vapors 🤢🤢🤢🤢😷😷
Dr Mate, I have to let you know that you you have helped my soul. I needed to understand in order to let go. I’m about to be 54. I am one of seven suffered severe trauma at 4 years old became an amputee no one would comfort me in the hospital all the adults too concerned who was to blame. I just needed a hug. ❤❤❤I am so grateful I saw this pop up for me on RUclips.. I was ready finally to hear this….you just lite the way the path to save me. I am forever grateful to finally set myself free from dabbling in the past, a lost soul in the dark. ❤❤❤ 🫂
So what to do with them if there just here now wondering around lost unless or is it people who groupe up in bubble the issue ? Perception can be tricky 🤔
Every human being has experienced trauma. They just don't harm, destroy, or murder other people who don't even know them. Sociopaths do that. No excuses or exception to the rule 💯 👌 of law. No one else is responsible for your actions, only you.
I knew the root of my coming lede's suffering was TRAUMA the moment in which I was by my parents conceived. Surely, I have not been alone in this knowledge for 74 years. Now, when, finally, I am about to die from a life without a moment ever lived, at least I can give thanks at last for this wonderful man's finally opening the world's eyes to the source of all of its suffering. Dr. Mate is the only and true Messiah, far greater than any Christ who ever lived.
Sarella so sorry you’ve had that much pain in your life. But when strangers respond to you here no love ❤️ is real Maybe you haven’t experienced much love but believe me lifes brought me to my knees many times - and these hells have been my blessings in hind sight Love is real bc God is love. We are all of his creation just not Christ Jesus who came to teach us the way Why did he come ? Bc the world had become so disconnected, lost in sin, so far from our creator father - that he came down in his Son to save us - show us the path back home. You’re life is just a smaller play of why Christ came down to earth - if he did it for the world - he can do it for you my friend. Your trauma just disconnected you from the love from all that truly is…. You can heal and its never too late - o/w I wouldnt be wasting my time Just surrender to the Lord in prayer. Lay it all out - asked to be saved - what do you have to lose? My friend just passed - LEE AKMAN 5-28-2023 NYC RIP - she was 100 yrs young. That means you have another 26 years - thats a whole lotta time to get back on track and live the life God meant you too And its not about doing anything so forget that too old nonsense bullshit - it’s simply about BEING Whether you’re a President or street sweeper - what matters is BEING connected to God, to source, living every moment in His presence And thats all prayer is about - coming into his presence. In fact you’re in my morning prayers. Will be praying for your renewal in spirit - your trauma disconnected you from your spirit thats all - and with simple prayer and work you can get reconnected to source, God, Christ very easily. Baby steps of faith each day thats all. A quick way I found to touch God when I was very low was to help those in worse position than me. Give to receive. Believe me brother I do not waste my time. It is all possible and I hate to see anyone in unnecessary pain for any longer than they have to be. I as lost too - for decades - its only 2 years now that I’ve been saved. I was like you in a state of hopelessness for many years…..but sometimes thats what it takes. Thats why many drug addicts find Jesus… nothing brings. You down to nothing like a good drug habit, lol. But if it gets one to Christ well then damn thats a pretty good drug habit. 😅 You’re in my prayers. Just ask and yea shall receive. Just get started and NEVER GIVE UP - you will get there. Never too late. God bless 🙏🏼❤️
@sarella4 Even your last days can become beautiful! And no, I’m not gonna say you just need to give your life to Christ, yada, yada, yada. Once upon a time I was that person and would have said that but thankfully that period of my life is over. Although that period of time in my life was a very authentic one for me, something still always felt “off.” It still irks me that people don’t understand you just can’t “pray” yourself out of depression, or that you must have sin in your life and need to repent, or whatever other things they may believe. Don’t get me wrong, I believe most people that believe those things have good intentions but they are also, to put it frankly, stuck in the rut of old, traditional beliefs that in the end, just can’t help everyone! Anyway, that’s a different discussion for another day but my point is that once I started opening my mind, it turned out that the very things I had been taught to be bad” in Christianity were the very things that actually ended up helping me through the HARDEST days of my life and now I’m better than ever. Obviously, I learned that there’s only “one way” but that there is A way (apart from religion) that can lead you to profound peace, joy, love, & gratitude. I know this because it’s my current experience and I hope from this point on, you will discover the things that lead you down the path where you find this to be your experience, too. Best wishes!
If’s not to explain the trauma hidden behind the violence of the self drama 🎭 in the war it’s overwhelming unacceptable for the defense of real of the country in not human souls the describing of self violence destroyed the others 😟🙏🏻.
Why’d to be right in the other sight is your right! What’s about the underlying you had not seen through your honor😟. It’s the manner or your drama drawings !
Thence the Out of your is the performance to be needed praise🤥😟, it’s not true for the other players was trusted you🙏🏻! What’s ever happened I accepted that to make it better.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m 70. My addictions. Misuse of food and money. Losing my home as a single parent and the shame of failing my children. I write poetry instead of journaling to help me heal. I am healing. Here is one of my poems.
“My face is a roadmap.
My face is a roadmap of paralyzed fear
It lost the contour of shine
Where sadness appears.
My face is a roadmap
To my story afraid to unfold
My face is a roadmap
Of all the tears buried beneath the road.
My face is a roadmap
Where once there was light
Molesting father,
narcissistic mother and brother
Darkened it
to ashen abysmal night.
For years my hidden molestation is what I thought shredded my soul
that didn’t compare to the narcissistic abuse my mother and my religion bestowed.
Trampling my heart, lungs, and vocal cords.
My face is a roadmap
Of religious demise
Respect honor your parents at all cost
Are the lies.
I didn’t fight back,
l didn’t utter a word.
I didn’t even know what was a healthy loving world.
My face is a roadmap
Aging lines of frequent attacks
From a shell of a mother
Reminding me
You’re selfish
Self centered
Regardless of the mountain of love showered to
Her impenetrable heart sac.
My face is a roadmap
Wiped out by the tidal wave of trauma
Voice smothered to the depths of all that
Surreal drama.
Good days I’m grateful to be alive,
Rough days I struggle to stay to survive.
My face is a roadmap
69 years
Stained with tears.
It took years layered with abusive narcissistic tasks
To turn my roadmap
Into a pretend happy face mask.
My face is a roadmap
It conceals
Reveals
A generation of trust built on sand
A broken trust in me
Constantly needs
A helping hand
Today, I author this piece to drive out my fears
I want to claim happiness
What’s left of my years.
My face is a roadmap
Also shows joy
It came with a price
I’d pay again and again
To have my precious girl and boy.
There is a truth to a portion of my heart undefeated
That truth my two children saved
With love over their years
They repeated.
My face is a roadmap
Blake stares
To a far away place
Where all children are gently loved
Always kept safe. “
Kimi swanson Minor
Wow So touching. I feel ur pain. May God comfort you.
Thank you for sharing your poem. I am familiar with some of those roads....
Amen to the portions of heart
undefeated.
🙏🏻💚
Watch dr Carter and dr Ramani videos, it may be helpful. Nice poem.
The future of the past is todays memory. And Tomorrows past is the future of all your yesterdays longtime forgotten. Until they circumvent your mind making you remember today……
THE ENTIRE WORLD SHOULD BE LISTENING TO THIS MAN, THIS DR.
WHY, HE HAS NO FIXES...
With others guidance we fix ourselves.@@robynhope219
May God bless this human being for every "drop" of knowledge he shares with us.
Mate has shared some useful information, no doubt, but he is only human, and it seems to me his advocacy of things like ayahuasca as a treatment for trauma are highly problematic.
@@dmt02459 Why would you think like that?
Аминь.
I KNOW all of these to be true. 😔 I watched someone I deeply loved struggle with addiction as an attempt to cope with all 6 of these deeply engrained effects of his trauma in his life. He ultimately lost the battle 💔 but at least he’s now in peace.
🙏🏻✨💕
@@createone100Your comment came right on time. Not sure why but I’m feeling a little ill and heavy today. Your acknowledgment means a lot! 🙏🏽✨💞
@@VanessaAbq God Bless you, and God Bless all of us who are helping those we hold most dear who are suffering from trauma. 💞
@@createone100 Thank you 🙏🏽 and amen! 💞
My brother lost his battle to addiction too, he was 29. You are not alone. We have some amazing guardian angels
You nailed it my friend
I'm almost 51 and I can't seem to climb out of this deep hole I fell in
Hang in there! I’m the same way.
You didn’t fell in that hole somehow your first caregivers left you there.
God bless you my friend
Favourite point is: you think you’re reacting to the present moment but you’re actually reacting to the past.
This, to me, is the hardest to come to terms with. Sometimes I find myself not taking a chance informed by past experiences, only realizing it after the moment is over. It becomes a vicious cycle.
@@trashteamracing8262true its the hardest part of healing.
Wow. This is the most eloquent and powerful description of trauma I have never encountered. Everyone should watch this to understand what trauma is and how it affects everything: your view of world, your ability to connect to it, your sense of time, and above all, your sense of self
May we all live in a world that is trauma informed🙏🏽Thank you for sharing this.
I guess we never will, coz the system can’t tell if someone is telling the truth or faking it, so they rather not have a system that supports that
This man is a genius..
I’m new to his work and I have learned so much 😢
How true. I always thought I was weirder than everyone else... But no, I've just been traumatized. Almost all the points sit on me + other issues. Finding books and videos about gabor opened my eyes to what has been weighing on me all my life. Now the only thing is...how to get out of it?
Greatest Mind that heals and helps to navigate own self. Thank you, Dr. Mate! Respect and honour to listen to you.
I'm 58 and still trying to sort out huge family trauma and so much death and loss over the years. It still bubbles up. Being around people is difficult, but I'm pushing myself to socialize more. Thank you for these impacts. It will help me know what to focus on in the future.
The best explanation of trauma. 💙
1 separation from self
2 Disconnection from others
3 Altered worldview- to hostile as opposed to good
4 lifelong pain- pain that stays with you and results in constant escapism
5 cognitive development - trauma inhibits brain development
6 personal shame
7 difficulty being present
Thank you for writing them down ✍
Thank you. The chapters in the book of my life.
I know I have had guardian angels carrying me. My "childhood" bears no resemblance to that which most people experienced. No. I don't want to go through life from the stance of "victim", but I was a little tiny person! Paltry bits only of nurturing, care, attention, security. Abusive older siblings, I was handy scape goat.
I was on my own.
Always.
By 13 I had stopped living with either "parent", as in 1k miles away, not across town. I was legally emancipated @ 14 cuz I needed treatment for a bleeding ulcer.
This is the Truth. I am grateful for resiliance and innate positivity. Gifts to be sure. The good people who provided what my parents could not give: a safe environment and good role modeling until I was 18. These lyrics
"This is a lonely lonely life, sorrow is everywhere" (Paul Simon) are true, but "Resiliant" (by Apalachia Rising) is what keeps me going. 🚣♀️🙏🕊
my hero
@@yukio_saito yes thanks to this person for the list
That's me in a nutshell.
I have lifelong pain inside but also my body hurts most of the time. Sometimes I feel I have had enough of this. But listening to Gabor and searching to find what has been going on I slowly begin to feel beter and have hope for the future. I have no need and no wish to see or talk to my parents and brother again. In fact I would prefer that they just dissapear.
Sie sind Stark,Alles Gute,Täter sind Schwach!!!💌💌💌💌💌💌
Try EMDR. Its really helpful. I hope you get over your pain.
@@miguelpais123 Well, I cannot say I hate them, I just have no need to be with them, I don't miss them, I don't wish them bad or so. I do fine without having contact with them. If I do I'll have to deal with their behaviour again, which hasn't and isn't going to change. So I'm not going to do that to myself just because it's family and society says you should be close to your family.
On the road to healing ❤️🩹
Thank you blessed Gabor Mate Trauma survivor similar to yourself ! Thank you.
All completely correct, thank you Gabor. X
Without Gabor I would never have realized that it was the trauma my then pregnant mother experienced during Allied bombing raids in the Berlin of WWII. I've long contemplated why sudden loud noises startle and shake me to this day. Her then isolation in another country without close loved ones nearby, may have added to this challenging situation and had its traumatic effect on her babe (me). So how does one remedy such injuries 7+ decades later? It ain't easy, and it may never come to pass.
It's true. I felt that disconnect out of body feeling. I started counting tiles in washroom and felt I don't see it, feel it asking myself why am I awake but asleep like in a blurr fog or not present. That was in 3rd grade. Uptill now the same. I am alive but aa if not fully awake ever. I can't hold a job. I have triggers all the time. I need attention but all I get is rejectiin. Yes, I married a narcissist who was beating me and I was running away but never escaping. I don't feel swlf worth. I need many things to fill the gap of my mother hating me never ever asking about me or being kind. I had never felt I was deserving of love happiness or money. Little to mention I tried to fill the role for other people to like me, having 30 odd jobs. Never was I longer on a job over a year.
Despite how it feels, please know that you do deserve love, happiness and money. It’s “normal” to feel how you feel given what you’ve been through. Hang in there. It can get better. I’m glad you came across this video and hope you have additional resources to rely on as well!
sorry for everything you are going through,i have been there to finally encounter Jesus..He was there all the time and turn everything for the better..i opened my heart and let Him in..may God touch your heatt and listen to your prayers in Jesus name.Amen🙏❤️
I had anxiety and depression and once i started praying 5 times a day on time i do not remember the last time i had either.
Pleased this has positively impacted you. 🙏🏾
It’s amazing how the mind works!
Cap
I just can't wait to meet you next October, it is like dream come true moment . Thank you for all wise teachings , world needs to listen to you .
I have learned so much from this man
So true and well put across. Hope it helps those parenting and significant adults to children, and those who have suffered.... sensitive and with no way to be out of such effects. Thankyou. Bless you.
He should write a book for pregnant moms…
It’s a road of Awarness development making the unconscious conscious. I would probably say for the first 40 years I was 3% conscious. Now after a hell of a lot of work I am up to 30% conscious.
The body hold our secrets. I left my body to survive. Getting back in is my journey.
Such a powerful healing light for humanity..🙏🙏🙏💠🌸💕🌺🥺
We shall be well
God's blessings to you sir ..what a wonderful description and explaining of this complex situation. Thank you Thankyou ..from South Africa
Thank you for helping us that need it.
You're very welcome. Check out Wholehearted.org for more free videos.
Spot on. Thanks for putting it in words for me.
What an amazing human being u are. Truly inspirational. I wish I can one have a theropy session with u.
I just came across your channel.
Very detailed information. Thank you so much. I understand what I've been dealing with now.
Thanks DR Mate for sharing your wisdom.
This is so eye opening!
Thank you for helping me.
Confront-Deal-Heal & Move On ‼️
These are profound knowledge 💐💐💐
I agree
All I do is navigate my way through the world...
Doing my best, moment-to-moment,
to endure the least amount of suffering as possible...
And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die.
There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life.
It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery.
It's been like this, all 45 years of my life, so far.
My heart is shattered. My soul is raped.
I cannot endure this hell anymore.
Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.
I wish I could tell you things will be better but I don’t know. I’m 28, from the time I was conceived, ppl mistreated me and tried to kill me. I’ve had several suicide attempts and my mother said I was trying to manipulate her being suicidal. Still to this day, I wish my mother aborted me and am trying to forgive the Church for teaching against abortion. Some ppl aren’t meant to be parents and shouldn’t be. They don’t have enough to support a child. You could be a star student like I was and with the wrong parents, they can f up your future and not even take accountability. They won’t even help you clean up their mess, in which, they created for you. I hope to one day experience all the positive emotions there are, ones I was deprived of and never allowed to experience. ❤
Jesus Christ has been my go to...each time my broken dreams stand in front of me.
NOBODY AND NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.
But His love and assurance is my strength for each new day.
SOOO SORRY FOR YOUR EXPERIENCE....
@@ekenechristyike5461 please keep 2 kids Alyssa Siena and Amos Ronald Moriss forevermore in your thoughts & heart prayers. If you can remember me too AlAlina Cristina
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤
God Bless ❤❤❤❤
Alina Cristina please remember me ❤
I would love to watch the full series of these
There are countless long videos of Gabor Mate being interviewed. They are all good. Just start with one that calls you. ❤
He is amazing ❤
Bravo 👏👏👏.
I want to heal. I hope y’all are healing too.
Thank you for sharing this helpful video.
I'm a retired psychiatrist and addiction medicine specialist, as well as recovering alcoholic/addict, and a great fan of Gabor, also of Hungarian descent. However, these 7 steps are very flawed and just seat of the pants speculations. Also, he never mentions the most powerful recovery tool, that has healed my own childhood trauma defenses: Group therapy, in my case, 12-step groups. We cannot make this journey alone. Finally, he avoids (?) the spiritual dimension, which is central in my recovery journey. Love and peace for one and all! Just don't try to do it alone.
The 12-step programs have been shown to be very successful group therapies. As a psychiatrist, did you come across EMDR?
@@trauma2happiness I'm a huge fan of EMDR in the hands of a well trained and experienced psychotherapist, but don't dare call 12-step groups "therapy" (which they obviously are!) down here in the MOV/Marietta, Ohio. In the wrong hands, the 12-step program becomes a rigid religion, rather than the wonderful recovery program that Bill W. meant it to be.
@@StressRUs To my knowledge here in Australia it stays what it was meant to be. I meet people who have a lot of success with it. I have had lots of success with EMDR first as a patient and later as a practitioner. I think being a patient first really helped me when training to be a practitioner.
I totally agree with your statement about 12 steps program.
Another excellent video .✔️ 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Endless Thanks for your sharng your wisdom!
You are a blessing to Humanity!
You deservena Nobel Prize Sir.
No, he is not original. His work is based on the late Carl Rogers.
I love this man
I'm recognizing me in different points...i'm very lucky 'cos even in bad sufference most of my life i've never need sustances or need to disappear...instead my love did it! Before the addiction then death from addiction...i've never understand his self destructive desire...he was a so special man and i have to live with my sorrow missing him all the time...
It takes me a long time to get through one of these video's. With every point I dissociate and have to rewind the video.
I can relate comparing life to past. I do this all the time.
Attachments are pivotal to our well being - I love ur work @drGaborMate - I would love to hear your wisdom re: complex ptsd please
Wisdom? We all have it! GM is not a trained psychotherapist.
The world is a very bad bad bad place lots of hurt and pain.
The hardest thing in life is to live.
3. Altered worldview
It can feel like that when you are overwhelmed with trauma but as you heal, your view changes. Best of luck.
♥🙏 Thank you, Dr. Gabor Mate.
Hey guys. My sister (nurse of 20+ years) referred me to this video. I have a complicated past that involves severe abuse (somehow with memories, stepmother) from as young as 2 years, and repeated abandonment from a severely drug addicted dad. As in constantly being left home alone for weeks at a time as young as 5-6. Then once around 15 he finally left and never came home. I thought he was dead, but I guess it was a multi-year drug binge. Anyway. I’m a mess and my fight or flight is so severe that as I age I believe it’s finally beginning to affect me physically. 41 now. I have a career. Children. Wife. My
Life is what you would call good, but every day I feel like my life is ending and I’m steeped in depression. I’m open to advice but I don’t think I’ll find a military dr that prescribes me shroom treatment. lol. Anyone?
I'm so sorry you were abused as a child and that you weren't taken care of by the people who should do it . 😢
he's the best
I can relate, so informative and very helpful. Thank you 💯💜
No existe en español? Para ver este canal, gracias
"You think that you are reacting to the present moment, but you're actually reacting to the past." 🤯💪😇☺️❤️
So how do I work to correct these and heal?
You've listed 7 profound effects of trauma, which can be interconnected and long-lasting. Here's a brief expansion on each point:
1. Separation from self: Trauma can lead to dissociation, causing a disconnection from one's own thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.
2. Disconnection from others: Trauma can make it challenging to form and maintain healthy relationships, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
3. Altered worldview: Trauma can shift one's perspective from a positive, trusting outlook to a more negative, hostile, or pessimistic view of the world.
4. Lifelong pain: Traumatic experiences can lead to chronic pain, both physical and emotional, which can be debilitating and lead to coping mechanisms like cognitive escapism.
5. Cognitive development: Trauma can impact brain development, particularly in regions related to emotional regulation, memory, and executive function.
6. Personal shame: Trauma can foster deep-seated shame, self-blame, and self-doubt, making it difficult to maintain a positive self-image.
7. Difficulty being present: Trauma can lead to difficulties with mindfulness and being present in the moment, as the mind may be preoccupied with memories, worries, or fears.
These effects can be overwhelming, but it's essential to remember that healing is possible with the right support, resources, and therapies, such as trauma-informed care, counseling, and mindfulness practices.
Brilliant x
I must truly be disconnected with myself because I can honestly say I have NEVER had a gut feeling about anything.
Maybe u did without knowing...
I had trauma that i didn’t know how i hid it inside me.
Thank you for your very clear explaination how traumatas impact our lifes. We are not wrong, we have experienced traumatas and how we react to this ist very normal. Healing means to come in touch with unconditional love. To experience that we are loved und worthy to get attachement and all what we need as human beings. We shall not be ashamed when we seek the face of God, our heavenly father. Jesus came on earth to show us the love of the father.
All 7 things he said i am in pain they are all in me i feel awful i even cannot describe it
Wooow....and just now an ad for ADHD Medication...unbelievable 😮😮😮😮😮😮
Thank you It makes a lot sense what your saying, and you've helped me to understand things a little bit
I got the first 3, learned about total depravity, reading the Bible every year. I think forgiveness is a major key to conquering PTSD. My world view is definitely changed, but I don’t need the world to be a good place like I used to, I know it never was good. Look what it did to Jesus. Heaven is the good place we long for. Follow Christ, obey his commands, believe him! Let the world be wicked, and realize that you truly CAN’T trust most people. And realize that God already has a plan in place to deal with ALL of this mess, including your pain. He’s going to wipe every tear from your eyes and I can’t wait to see such perfect love!!!
Donde puedo verlo en español, me pueden decir, gracias.
It would be nice to attend the course but can’t afford it. Thanks
Hello, what would you like to attend to watch? Nearly everything we do is free. Perhaps we can help?
Two other trauma experts to explore are Bruce Perry and Daniel Siegel. Like Dr Mate, they are amazing. As a former trauma therapist Dr. Mate, Dr Bruce Perry, & Dr
Siegel were my go to for training. 😉
I read Dr. Bruce Perry's book What Happened To You and loved it all the way until I got to the end. He and his friend Oprah say that the trauma "didn't happen TO YOU, it happened FOR YOU." and that is bullshit. Go tell that to people who were abused and not protected from harm. Tell that to children who grew up unwanted by their parents. What a disgusting thing to tell people. I am trauma informed. I believe in healing, but that is a harmful ideology. Like gaslighting victims to tell them it happened FOR THEM.
ALL of the above.
I don't have addiction, but I was abandoned prior to (she didn't acknowledge i existed) and just after birth. I wish I could find if this doctor talks about how to self-heal from being abandoned at birth.
Makes total sense
story of my life
And to think everyone has trauma !... for this reason alone we all have the responsibility to be introspective rather than putting all the emphasis on the outside. Seems very few are.
I am sure everyone has trauma (I am an EMDR therapist) but to varying degrees. It is great You Tube puts outside so much info we can access.
Wow so true
What's the healing ? How one can get healing? How's happening healing from trauma?
Good therapist or self-healing
There are couple RUclips channels of clinical psychologist that are helpful. One is by Patrick Teehan. Also a book called Coming Home. I’m a trauma survivor so I hope the resources that are helping my self-healing helps you
@@tamraya23 if you're comfortable about speaking your own trauma could you talk about yours. I would like to know what trauma you have ? And thank you for your comment. I appreciate
@@artemiomusica5465 I grew up in a chaotic household with two parents, who grew up in dysfunctional families, constantly arguing and screaming at each other. They were physically and emotionally abusive to me and my siblings.
@@tamraya23 I understood. If you wish we can be friends.
@@artemiomusica5465 support groups would be better (online or in-person). If you can’t get yourself to go to an in-person one then consider online thru RUclips posts on for example the channel I mentioned or joining online support groups held by therapists. I wish you the best of luck in your healing journey 💜
Stuck. Everything in me tells me to leave. No place to go. Stuck.
There is hope!
@@robynhope219yes there is a way!!
I hope you worked it out. It took me a long time but I left eventually.
Once you decide that this is it...enough is enough. Then you will be able to leave. Took me 22 years,don't wait that long
I might have finally found someone who is actually teaching describing my 50yrs of being 😮
I’m not mad just interested
How can I get rid of disability that caused by emotional trauma?
@@miguelpais123 pain is not part of prosses if you like pain I'm not
How do i subscribe
I got sick (painful sarcoidosis💥in 93'....
At same time my job of 13 yrs ended & i got emotionally distraughti was using dry erase markers on a board Daily....Vapors 🤢🤢🤢🤢😷😷
Dr Mate, I have to let you know that you you have helped my soul. I needed to understand in order to let go. I’m about to be 54. I am one of seven suffered severe trauma at 4 years old became an amputee no one would comfort me in the hospital all the adults too concerned who was to blame. I just needed a hug. ❤❤❤I am so grateful I saw this pop up for me on RUclips.. I was ready finally to hear this….you just lite the way the path to save me. I am forever grateful to finally set myself free from dabbling in the past, a lost soul in the dark. ❤❤❤ 🫂
Exquisite 💚🌲
I wish I didn’t know they are all true
Lifelong pain for sure.
The story of my life
How do rid yourself of trauma?
Wow. All.
7th one😢
So what to do with them if there just here now wondering around lost unless or is it people who groupe up in bubble the issue ? Perception can be tricky 🤔
Every human being has experienced trauma. They just don't harm, destroy, or murder other people who don't even know them. Sociopaths do that. No excuses or exception to the rule 💯 👌 of law. No one else is responsible for your actions, only you.
I got no traumas with me Alhamdulilah.
I knew the root of my coming lede's suffering was TRAUMA the moment in which I was by my parents conceived. Surely, I have not been alone in this knowledge for 74 years. Now, when, finally, I am about to die from a life without a moment ever lived, at least I can give thanks at last for this wonderful man's finally opening the world's eyes to the source of all of its suffering. Dr. Mate is the only and true Messiah, far greater than any Christ who ever lived.
❤
He is not a hero, not an angel and definitely NOT the Messiah. So sorry for your suffering which also causes disconnection to YESHUA and Yahweh (God).
Sarella so sorry you’ve had that much pain in your life. But when strangers respond to you here no love ❤️ is real
Maybe you haven’t experienced much love but believe me lifes brought me to my knees many times - and these hells have been my blessings in hind sight
Love is real bc God is love. We are all of his creation just not Christ Jesus who came to teach us the way
Why did he come ? Bc the world had become so disconnected, lost in sin, so far from our creator father - that he came down in his Son to save us - show us the path back home.
You’re life is just a smaller play of why Christ came down to earth - if he did it for the world - he can do it for you my friend.
Your trauma just disconnected you from the love from all that truly is…. You can heal and its never too late - o/w I wouldnt be wasting my time
Just surrender to the Lord in prayer. Lay it all out - asked to be saved - what do you have to lose?
My friend just passed - LEE AKMAN 5-28-2023 NYC RIP - she was 100 yrs young. That means you have another 26 years - thats a whole lotta time to get back on track and live the life God meant you too
And its not about doing anything so forget that too old nonsense bullshit - it’s simply about BEING
Whether you’re a President or street sweeper - what matters is BEING connected to God, to source, living every moment in His presence
And thats all prayer is about - coming into his presence. In fact you’re in my morning prayers. Will be praying for your renewal in spirit - your trauma disconnected you from your spirit thats all - and with simple prayer and work you can get reconnected to source, God, Christ very easily. Baby steps of faith each day thats all.
A quick way I found to touch God when I was very low was to help those in worse position than me. Give to receive.
Believe me brother I do not waste my time. It is all possible and I hate to see anyone in unnecessary pain for any longer than they have to be.
I as lost too - for decades - its only 2 years now that I’ve been saved. I was like you in a state of hopelessness for many years…..but sometimes thats what it takes.
Thats why many drug addicts find Jesus… nothing brings. You down to nothing like a good drug habit, lol. But if it gets one to Christ well then damn thats a pretty good drug habit. 😅
You’re in my prayers. Just ask and yea shall receive. Just get started and NEVER GIVE UP - you will get there. Never too late. God bless 🙏🏼❤️
@sarella4 Even your last days can become beautiful! And no, I’m not gonna say you just need to give your life to Christ, yada, yada, yada. Once upon a time I was that person and would have said that but thankfully that period of my life is over.
Although that period of time in my life was a very authentic one for me, something still always felt “off.” It still irks me that people don’t understand you just can’t “pray” yourself out of depression, or that you must have sin in your life and need to repent, or whatever other things they may believe. Don’t get me wrong, I believe most people that believe those things have good intentions but they are also, to put it frankly, stuck in the rut of old, traditional beliefs that in the end, just can’t help everyone!
Anyway, that’s a different discussion for another day but my point is that once I started opening my mind, it turned out that the very things I had been taught to be bad” in Christianity were the very things that actually ended up helping me through the HARDEST days of my life and now I’m better than ever.
Obviously, I learned that there’s only “one way” but that there is A way (apart from religion) that can lead you to profound peace, joy, love, & gratitude. I know this because it’s my current experience and I hope from this point on, you will discover the things that lead you down the path where you find this to be your experience, too.
Best wishes!
Gut feeling and conscience are gifts from Jesus we should listen too. And turn to him and let him lead you. Forgiveness is important
Especially forgiving yourself
You know what works great on this? Eft Techniques, the clinical ones
grief and rage constantly rape my soul
Ik the feeling...find a good therapist.
If’s not to explain the trauma hidden behind the violence of the self drama 🎭 in the war it’s overwhelming unacceptable for the defense of real of the country in not human souls the describing of self violence destroyed the others 😟🙏🏻.
Why’d to be right in the other sight is your right! What’s about the underlying you had not seen through your honor😟. It’s the manner or your drama drawings !
Thence the Out of your is the performance to be needed praise🤥😟, it’s not true for the other players was trusted you🙏🏻! What’s ever happened I accepted that to make it better.