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Do People With Dementia Know They Are Forgetting Things?
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- Опубликовано: 22 мар 2023
- It’s our mission to make dementia caregiving easier for families caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, frontotemporal dementia, lewy body dementia, vascular dementia, or any other type of dementia. We do so by making free educational training videos like this so that anyone with an internet connection can access this information.
In this video, I answer the question about if people with dementia know they are forgetting things. The answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no and sometimes both.
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Managing Stress and Burnout: • DEMENTIA SELF-CARE AND...
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• DIFFICULT DEMENTIA BEH...
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare
My husband knew, he would say, I can’t think, I can’t remember what wrong with me. I would sit and ask him question and as he responded I would say see you remember more than you think. Asking question I knew he knew.
As time went buy I would tell him it was ok I can remember and I will take care off him and everything. He would say don’t you forget!
❤❤❤
Dementia is so tough on the people who have it and on those that love them. Bless you ❤❤
My grandfather had alzheimers/dementia. His mother had it, as well. It runs in our family.
My grandfather had the best sense of humor. Once, when he was having a tough day, he said to me, that he just couldn't remember anything anymore. This made him agitated. I simply told him that I think he's lucky. I have all kinds of crap, stuck in my head, that I would just love to forget, and can't. He thought that was funny. The frustration went away, and his shining sense of humor, flooded right back.
One occasion my mom kept asking me the same question about 10 times and Id just answer…. Then she stopped and said … do I keep asking you over and over….I shook my head we paused… then both started laughing! I have to say it was priceless…. Fortunately her dementia didn’t make her angry! 🙏🙏🙏
In the early onset of my mother's dementia I used to put my foot in my mouth. I used to speak in front of her about her dementia and she she looked at me like if I was crazy. Thats when I got to understanding that how wrong I was to bring it up in front of her. It was the most important lesson that I learned. It's been seven years and my mother still has no idea that she is ill.🤐
How were you able to get her medical care and support without her awareness?
@@muirgirl well first of all when I take her to her doctor appointments the doctor and I never mention the D word we just basically refer to it as a condition. I kind of have the luxury to speak to her physicians and nurses prior to visit or by phone so we are all on the same page, but because my mom suffers from other physical ailments, along with the dementia, her doctor visit are mainly. To address those issues . When the doctors and I bring up the word condition, there is no expression or reaction on her part but if we mentioned the word dementia, she would actually speak out and say something so that’s how I learned.
Sorry, I read the first part literally 🦶👄😮
@@pusscat1147😂🤣😂
Oh god I hope I don’t get mean as I’m losing it. I’m already forgetting things. I pray to stay sweet and work on being nice to my people.
Lucky you!
If I got it my daughter would throw me in a nursing home in a second!
Glad this awful disease doesn't run in my family...sadly selfish, children do👎.
As an early onset Lewy Body Dementia person I can tell you that it was what caused me to seek help from my Dr. I was forgetting the basics of hygiene and names of familiar people to me. It was very distressing and as time has gone on I have adjusted but then a newer symptom will remind me that things will keep changing. For me the slow and steady way of managing it helps my anxiety and fears
Get yourself checked for Borrelia, Babesiosis, Micoplasma, bartonella, Q fever & systemic chlamydia. We are seeing more & more systemic infections that are causing dementia ( including lewy body dementia). Be aware to study these infections yourself because many doctors don't know how to read the labs & often make mistakes. Impoyfor one's body to attack itself as too many doctors say. Not true.
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
The more we educate, the more compassion. Thankyou....
What is even sadder is when they have to see another Dr. And the staff is informed of dementia and they ask the patient to do something they asked the patient to do something that they cannot possibly do or understand for example asking someone to get up on the examining table they don't have the cognitive ability or the physical ability when it comes to this type of care I wish there would be a whole community of caregivers that understand what all goes with it they look at you as if you're uncooperative and today's generation just does not have the patience worthy understanding possibly it's not spoken about in their teaching may God bless anyone that goes through this experience please be patient with everyone especially you are loved ones
A few months after my mother in law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she asked me if she had Alzheimer's. She seemed to be completely lucid. I hesitated but I thought, in this moment, she knows there's something wrong so I said yes. She teared up and a few minutes later she went on to something else. I'm hoping I didn't mess up but she's was one of my favorite people and I just didn't want to lie to her. My mom had dementia and she never asked that but she would get frustrated with herself when she couldn't find words. 😢
My husband knows something is wrong. He says I'm not crazy I really can't remember. And I try to just make him feel calm. When he's with me he seems to be calm and feels safe
Telling them you’ll remember for them seems to help too 🤍 I’m glad you can provide such a safe feeling for him
You need to live where they are living at that moment. Just go with the flow. It will make your life and their life much easier. 😭 . And it’s also so calms them. But sometime it won’t. And anger ensues. It’s heart breaking.
Follow their lead and think quick on your toes. Keep on loving them
Lots of prayers to all who care for them.
I will be the only person
His kids won't even come see him
And get mad at me for even suggesting such a thing
Yes. I know. It's like fighting through a foggy labyrinth of branches. I will struggle so hard to remember only to feel it slipping away in a fog and i feel 💔 frustration and helplessness so bad I cry. Then I'm okay for awhile. I'm scared. I had such a hard hurtful life. I had hoped my last days would be comforting. 😢😢😢
We are going through that right now. She knows her mind is not working right and she thinks she is going crazy. So hard
I have learned so much from you in the last year . You are the best ❤
She’s awesome- do you know about Teepa Snow? She’s terrific also.
Adult children of disfunctional families that never came to turms or resolved issues from past hurt and /or traumas need specialist for their healing to help make caregiving easier & more enjoyable. You have helped me more than, even I probably know. Thanks Dr Natalie
So do people with dementia need geriatric mental health help counseling and therapy from as well from past traumas unresolved issues too and forgive their adult kids from putting them through pain abuse ie sexual emotional physiological mental and physical abuse to them. Plus, family therapy too. It will definitely help all parties in this matter. That's what i keep telling my grandmother that and get therapy counseling from geriatric mental health help. I too, came from a dysfunctional family and my grandmother was an alcoholic, a heavy smoker toxic and never been in rehab for her alcoholic issues heavy smoking and getting mental health help years ago. I got mental health help when I was younger in the 80s and still, she is in denial about herself her alcoholic addiction being toxic angry and bitter with drama etc. I can go on and on about my family dynamics, this diecese ie dementia raises a lot of unanswered questions about herself etc. I'm general, people with dementia need to get mental health help counseling and therapy to come to terms, accept and cope with it and not to take things out on people and families. Lastly, as the grandson, I'm the black sheep trying to clean up my grandmothers mess, her dirty laundry and fix things in her life, Carry all of her problems issues and trying to bring her and her kids together to forgive each other, telling their mother how they feel, their own feelings and how it affected them in their childhood and adult lives etc. It's too much for me to be the black sheep and I'm letting my grandmother go for good and cutting her out of my life. She won't change herself and behavior etc. She did this to herself and I told her to stop drinking and smoking years ago, stop being toxic, angry bitter and get mental health help counseling and therapy for herself to be a better person etc. however this is the effect of what she did to her own mind and body. She told me, it's my body my choice. What should I do and how should I tell her how I feel about the situation and also, what is the best way to tell her I'm done and cutting her out of my life, I don't care about her I'm not worrying about her and not to think about her either? No nursing homes memory and care centers will not help her and she doesn't care about herself and nobody else feeling's etc.?
@@davidmangum5639 it's hard when the person with dementia is self serving and self centered. They don't realize they were taught to use alcohol and cigs to cope with past hurts & trauma. Secretes my parents held for my 50 yrs dad starting let slip and or tell to hurt mom. He seemed he was alright and my dads memory for the most part was intact. It was his reasoning and judgment. Letting people he didn't know in the house, letting addicts and or homeless people move in or borrow very expensive things. It was his worst personality traits pushed at max. Flirting, cursing, even brought a woman in the house to "show the bedroom to" and he was 80
@@davidmangum5639 I had to go help him a few days a week after that I had to mentally recharge. It was extremely exhausting trying to please him and he would fixated on things and call & text people ao much in a short time that alot of people blocked his number. If you need to be there for whatever reason try to remember it won't last forever, it just feels that way in the moment. If possible give yourself time to work on you. I took toxic stress and trauma training classes. That helped me understand myself better and with the knowledge I got / get from Dr Natalie I believe I'm a better person.
Just try your best..... Love, compassion and kindness. I have sadly plenty of care giving experience re Dementia..... Don't overthink the past.... Be thoughtful considerate and caring.... As a family member I can honestly say its hideous to abandon! No matter what!
At frist when dad would have confusing moments or not recognizing pep he'd get very angry. he had times where he thought something & assumed he said it out loud or he only said a few words aloud but not enough to know what he was talking about. He would get so furious because you didn't let him finish what he was saying, when in fact he hadn't said anything for few minutes.
The worse parts of my dads personality increased by 4 ( at least). He finally passed in feb 2023.
Sounds Like my dad
I used to respond-it takes longer to find info because the same way you walk slower it’s what’s happening in your brain is working slower.
We’ll find it in a little bit -and give him cues. Distraction and we would move on
My mother is so confused i think about her all day
Yes. I say to my loved one that i understand that it’s scary but also reassuring her that everything is ok.
Glad to hear that my forgetfulness at 85 is probably not dimentia. I am doing some things to delay it, but so far so good. Thank you for this analysis.
My mom is kind of in the middle of both. Sometimes she knows something is up and other times she doesn't think anything is wrong
Great video! I have a question if you dont mind. My mom with dementia always forgets plans, and when it's finally time to go, she will say things like, "I didn't know.", "Why didn't you tell me?",
"Was anyone going to ask me if I wanted to...?" How do we tell her she forgot without telling her she forgot? Sometimes, the "It was a surprise!" works, but not always. Thank you for teaching us ❤.
That is a really interesting question! Hope there is an answer or video!
Try reminder notes🥰
My mom offen said, "What's going on? I don't know what's going on!" She's even said, "I don't feel right." I'm sick. I asked where, and she said in my mind." 😢 💔
My dad just says that he doesn't remember anything anymore. It upsets him a lot and many times he will cry. It just kills me when he cries because he used to be a very strong person, and to see him this way is so hard.
I had issues after I got assaulted and it caused head injury (among other things). I cried a lot. Had a lot of kindness though.
Yes they do. Early stages they know and they try to hide it .
This is how my father is now he struggles and it breaks my heart when he realizes it’s not real
This is my grandma right now. After the pandemic she became a completely different person. She started forgetting little things like how to use the remote or her phone, and it's slowly becoming worse. Some days are better than others, but she understands there's something wrong, and would always say stuff like 'i don't remember anything, I don't know what to do amd I don't know why'... is distressing for her, and, unfortunately for everyone around her too...the situation is worsening slowly:/
I need help. My sister will not stay in bed at night. I am/was a caregiver for my mother, sister & husband who just passed. I am up and down with her all night and get no rest. Nor time to grieve.
That sounds incredibly tough. How are you?
thc/cbd
This is common.
Can a nurse be hired or medical aid?
My partner knew something was wrong, but he couldn't explain it except get angry at himself, me, and coworkers. When he finally got a diagnosis I think it was a relief, I told him not to worry I would do whatever it took to keep him safe and happy. I took care of him until late stage 7, at home, by myself because at this point, he was hallucinating, couldn't go to the bathroom by himself, had trouble eating, and at times didn't realize who I was. When he finally had to be taken to the hospital, he only lived two months. In the hospital he lost his ability to speak, walk, and swallow. It was a horrible way to die.
Would Hospice be an option instead of the hospital?
@@marlenegold280Hospice is for the dying, at the time he was hospitalized nobody thought he would die in two months. He was walking, talking, able to throw things in a fit of anger. Even at the hospital they were saying once they got the proper meds he could come home. His decline was so fast, even Hospice was surprised once they were contacted, he only lasted a little over 24 hours with Hospice care.
I'm so sorry you've both suffered such heartache ♡
Yeah that’s so sad :( I’m starting to get a little concerned for my mom. I’ve defiantly noticed some changes in behavior and odd personality things that I’ve never seen in her before. She is 61.
Is she taking a statin (cholesterol med) ?
These will cause brain fog or even Dementia.
Look into what prescription medications she is on, look into her diet, is she forgetting to eat or eating twice?
Look for nutritional deficiencies… and rule out B12 deficiencies and rule out Hypothyroidism, or even elevated blood glucose.
Thank you. You are a blessing, every one should be in your care blazer classes. Has helped me cope.
Does awareness of memory loss also depend upon what diagnosis the person has?
My mom abusively blamed my dad for what she had hidden in a forgotten spot and labeled EVERYTHING as hers… which would have included a jock strap, if my dad owned one. She had Alzheimer’s.
My dad is sometimes aware that he doesn’t know what he forgot, and other times has no idea he’s repeating himself. He has vascular dementia (found by MRI) and early Parkinson’s, with the new neurologist unable to rule out Alzheimer’s (due to professional courtesy…?).
My sister allegedly is bipolar. I’ll say nothing more about her…
You are a blessing for me, my mom was diagnosed with dementia, and I have had so many questions, and you have helped in so many ways, thank you so much for what you do❤
If you can draw a clock you are ok. Such a pucked up way of determining if there is a problem when to the family about the family member, the problem is GLARINGLY OBVIOUS!!!
Welcome to the small town KANSAS medical system
Your wonderful Mam. Thank you so much 🙏
Thank you, God bless you for doing this work. I think I saw you a year ago or so & felt distressed by your videos. Now I feel comforted. I believe I have sone dementia. The stress of it seems impossible to put aside. Kept up your great work. You are awesome at being clear in your teaching
I am 70. I have diabetes. I know that I have dementia. I know when i have episodes of confusion and when i have hear things not real or see things not real. It is so distressing. Sometimes its induced by a group of medications.
I'm sorry you're going thru this, but think you should consult with a very good "Geriatric Physician" OR a "Pharmacologic Psychiatrist." Your problems may be caused by your mixture of medications and by removing or changing your prescriptions you may find you don't have dementia at all. Either way, stay strong and be positive. Sending love & prayers... ❤🙏
No. It is narrowed away and you don't know.
I did forget certain people over and over again after recently meeting them again. I love it.
How do you get a diagnosis for someone who absolutely will not cooperate with the process? He has been impossible his whole life and in old age with dementia it is beyond difficult. My mother is at her wits end. 😢
My dad was getting to where he couldn't walk as far as he wanted. A neighbor go a skooter so my dad wanted an electric wheelchair because they were faster. ( or so he thought) I told him he had to be evaluated by a specialist his insurance picks so they can make sure he's save enough to drive it. I told dad " you know how insurance works they make you jump through hoops for anything you need " it worked. Lol I told dad if they ask DO NOT tell them you'll drive on the road. That was the 2 or 3 question and of course he told them he was going to drive it to the store to get pop and cigarettes. Lol I couldn't help but shake my head
I know someone that showed signs of dementia at a warehouse job . She had safety issues and tons of dental with anger issues for the teenagers that played easy on the job. I could not help her anymore she would yell at me every time she walked in front of a pallet of boxes 8 feet height.
Yes, it breaks my heart when my dad calls me a day or two after a rough day and say, “I was really out of it the other day” or “I remember such a such did pass away now”. Ugh 😢
My Dad would remember and be distressed..... May he rest in peace now😢
My mom.... She has no idea and there would be no convincing her.... The closest she ever came was making up that she bumped hef head and someone brought her to "this place" ..... Which is my house.... Her daughter's home. 😢 My son ... Her grandson is the TV repairman to her. 😳🥺
clicking into this channel because my sister has had dementia shes twelve years in with it and i think i am starting with it well not starting WITH it just starting to accept it. xx let me tell you that it feels as tho your brain is hardening.........x and i am saying some very hurtful things.........so researching it as much as i can and working on it..........realising that its time to rest. xx and let people around me do their own thing to make life easier for them ............xx :)
A very good question and an equally good answer ❤
Some people do know but try and deny it to others
Yes I do realize that I can't think right. I have a loving who makes me laugh😊❤
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you more help than your realize.
The answer is Yes.
I'm 70 and don't have dimentia, but I have trouble remembering little things sometimes so, why wouldn't someone diagnosed with dimentia?
Thank you for this information
My mom doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going, repeat, repeat repeat, but she seems happy. I HATE THIS DISEASE!
A dear friend would say to me.
I will be ok soon.
I ❤her so much that I just hug her.❤
In the beginning, yes. At the end, no.
My husband went through 3 Years of denial,anger AND trusting the ideas in His head copensating.this was pretty scary
I understand that I do not have the mind i used to have. My wife believes i have dementia. If I do its early. I can still function running my business but lose myself at times.
Thank you for this channel, very educational ❤🙏🙏
Great statement ❤
This was very informative, thank you.
My husband denies his dementia issues by putting everything in a conditional context: “well maybe I forgot,” or by saying, “that’s what you say and you might be right but I am not sure.”
Thanks, that’s very enlightening.
I just try to meet my Mother where she is at and go along with the conversation. If that makes sense.
help yes my family is going through this with our sister,so sad to watch my sister going through this, she can't even remember about things we were talking about 5 minutes before, n not knowing who our brothers are,she ask who's that man is,yes it is so heart breaking when she can't remember our brothers, she gets so upset,but most of the time it just pays to go along with her,not good,
My mom has no clue. When I started living with my parents last year I would say like mom the dog was fed you don't remember, she would get pissed an say I have lot going on. I've learned now and say, oh I just fed the dog I was gonna tell you. Yeah, she has no clue she says to the grandkids, senior moments if they say oh you told me or something like that
I was told that if I think I might have Dementia, I probably don't.
In the beginning yes. Shortly after that no. Then comes the anger and confusion which brings on anxiety. Its a horrible disease.
Yes definitely. My mother knows that she is having problems with her memory, expression and cognition and it really distresses her.
My mom does this a lot. She’s had dementia since 65, she’s 84 now and she knows something is wrong. When she tries to speak or say something my mom will say “oh I forgot what I wanted to say, it was there and now it’s gone.” She will call herself a dummy and we tell her no she’s not it’s just her brain is not working like it used too. I sit and watch her and you can can tell she has something to say but the words just do not come out
My mom fears dementia as my grandma just passed away from it. But it may have been an underdiagnosed high brain pressure.
I pray I never have dementia but if I do I hope I have no idea I have it
My mom is really struggling to excepting it even though she knows 💔
This is why we need to normalize MAID (medical assistance in dying) for dementia. It would save so much unnecessary suffering for people that will not be getting better. In my province, we have MAID for many incurable, painful diseases so why not dementia? It is the obvious answer.
Which province in 🇨🇦 ?
@@marlenegold280 Ontario, although I think most provinces have it. They were going to expand it to include mental as well as physical diseases but that has been put on the back burner for now. I know of several cancer patients who had it and it was a blessing to them, saving them and their families pointless suffering at the end of their lives. I don't see why I cannot pre authorize MAID for myself if and when I develop dementia like my mother had. Her ending was gruesome. It would be so much better to save myself and my family the horrors of end stage dementia.
We treat animals in a more humane way.
My husband's Ego and Pride and he is mad all the time. He will not tell his doctor and he is abusive to me. 😢 if I told on him, he will rage and revenge. He blames me for everything...he can do no wrong.
Thank you 😥🥺
❤❤❤ Thank you ❤❤❤
My gran is self aware and it is so sad
Yes. It depends on where they are on the scale of time.
They kNOW !! MYMother retaired and prepare her will 😢😊❤
I think so.... Sometimes
Now this one is more respectful. Please stop the ridiculing ones.
YES!
Thank you 🙏🏴🫶
how to prevent or cure it
Yes they do know to an extent
My mom will say you know I can't remember nothing and keeps it moving . I have to remind myself that too..
Questions:
With Dementia (the one with tiny little dots all over the brain)
1.Are the little dots a void/space showing
or
2. is there something there accumulating.
3. What would that something be?
YES
My kids think I have dementia but I don't
Both my uncle and my aunt were aware and afraid.
It's always yes. But when I got diagnosed, I decided to wait a week and forget about the whole ordeal. 😮😢😅😅😅😅
So dementia “runs” on my fathers side. His mother, younger brother and younger sister have it. My dad is 83 and is perfectly fine. We had said if we got it, you’d have to be willing to “leave something on the table” if u were to take matters into your own hands. But now that u said u can have it and not realize, well that changes those plans. I always thought u knew stuff was starting to go sideways. Apparently not.
Yes, they know
My Sister has Alzheimers.
She knows her condition but is angry at times.She is trying to do things to help herself like making jigsaw,s , colouring by numbers, walking.Her anxiety levels are very high and has recently been started on Citalopram.
How can I help her?
I can’t remember
In the case of my brother, he knows he has problems with his mentation, and he has stated to his wife, "I'd like to thank my mother for this." I'm sure he his absolutely terrified. God knows I am.
Yes they do.
Yes and it makes them very frustrated
I’m there
Glen Camble never knew.
They throw everything away, just because, and then blame me the next day 😂
Every single day that I work in this field there is a lady who every 5 or 10 mins her brain 🧠 tells her something is wrong and she ask me or whatever caregiver is around her what's wrong with me in the same way this lady in the viedo said With dementia residents like that, it's a lot of repetitive questions and you're repeatedly answering the same question almost all day and for the ones. Who don't know what's going on. It's more scary for them. Because they think that they have no limits like they try to leave. Or they'll just go up to someone and grab their stuff. There is no message being sent to their brain. That's telling them like what they are doing is wrong because they don't have that message being seit's very god, especially for the families who are going through it