I'm an FA who is working twoards being more secure in a relationship of sorts with a DA "friend" ... Friend because we do not sleep with each other but ... Well. I have feelings for him and he does things for me and even has let me cuddle with him occasionally. I am also an INTJ and tend to look at it from long term perspective and think what would even be viable for us... If we were ever form a relationship do you think a sexually open one would work if the terms were openly negociated? We both have disconnect between sex and feelings... Would it ease his fears and scratch the need for variety? For me it would definetly offer some sense of securtiy from a situation when my sexual needs go unmet because he does not feel like meeting them... So it would not be just his sake either.
Hey, thanks for commenting. Well, all individuals are different, but in general, it might work for the avoidant, but likely be disastrous for you. Inevitably you would either begin getting jealous of these other women, or start worrying he’ll fall for them or prefer them to you - especially if they provide not just sex, but other things, and he starts liking them more, there may be the hurt that he’s fine meeting other people’s sexual needs but not yours, and plenty of other possible messy emotions. Two things, 40% of satisfied marriages are sexless after 5 years. You don’t need to have sex to have a good relationship, don’t believe the hype. Also, this is something that can be worked on, I could do a video on simple techniques to increase emotional intimacy and safety with touch leading up to sex, if it would help.
What a beautiful voice!!!
Thank you so much ❤
I'm an FA who is working twoards being more secure in a relationship of sorts with a DA "friend" ... Friend because we do not sleep with each other but ... Well. I have feelings for him and he does things for me and even has let me cuddle with him occasionally. I am also an INTJ and tend to look at it from long term perspective and think what would even be viable for us... If we were ever form a relationship do you think a sexually open one would work if the terms were openly negociated? We both have disconnect between sex and feelings... Would it ease his fears and scratch the need for variety? For me it would definetly offer some sense of securtiy from a situation when my sexual needs go unmet because he does not feel like meeting them... So it would not be just his sake either.
Hey, thanks for commenting. Well, all individuals are different, but in general, it might work for the avoidant, but likely be disastrous for you. Inevitably you would either begin getting jealous of these other women, or start worrying he’ll fall for them or prefer them to you - especially if they provide not just sex, but other things, and he starts liking them more, there may be the hurt that he’s fine meeting other people’s sexual needs but not yours, and plenty of other possible messy emotions.
Two things, 40% of satisfied marriages are sexless after 5 years. You don’t need to have sex to have a good relationship, don’t believe the hype. Also, this is something that can be worked on, I could do a video on simple techniques to increase emotional intimacy and safety with touch leading up to sex, if it would help.