When You Take Coffee TOO Seriously!
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- Опубликовано: 19 апр 2021
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What happens when you take coffee too seriously? Coffee lovers are just the right amount of obsessed with their one true love!
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I roast my own beans, so it takes me 3 days longer to make my coffee.
I thought about that, but the cost of getting a decent one seemed not worth it. And of course it isn't going to do a better job than the local coffee merchant that i normally get my beans from (or wait.. is small batch roasting better?). Perhaps one day i will get one for the experience.. i know the aroma is quite something, i worked in someone's house who roasted their own beans.
Only 3 ? 🤣🤣🤣
Wine snobs should get roasted next
Same, roast 1-2lbs a week in my Behmor 1600. So worth it.
I roast my beans too, they dont seems to appreciate the insults
As someone who loves coffee and takes it somewhat seriously I laughed and felt attacked at the same time
Then JP did his job👍
Yes I hear you. I’ve always taken a laugh at JP’s subtle tease of the crazy times we are living but this time I’m the joke! Oh well, I’ll just whip up an espresso and feel better:)
I grew fond of coffee because a friend of mine owns a coffee shop and his brews are nice... I don't take it seriously though.
Neither does he. He experiments with new recipes for frappuccino and smoothies.
His business has this theme of 19th century laboratory. And he's a más scientist of coffee.
@@SergioLeonardoCornejo I know a brewery that's kind of like that. Love their stuff, and I'd be a regular customer of your friend's establishment if I lived nearby.
@@TheInsomniaddict Name checks out. Lol
"I always weigh my beans because I didn't have friends in high school." Almost spit out my coffee on that one! LOL
How much did you spit out?
Sorry, I didn't have friends either
Or he weighs his coffee because he didn't get laid until 28 years old.
I weigh coffee grounds for work (I work at a coffee shop).
same.
It was so abrupt 🤣
Absolutely LOVE this because he makes fun of the ridiculous "FoOdiE" culture BS of making something in a cumbersome way just to fit in on social media. This dude is awesome.
He is awake
What is even better is that I think he is poking fun at himself. I mean, he didn't go out and buy all that crap just to make a youtube video. I think he is a coffee nerd, and went ahead making a satire video about coffee nerds anyway. So I doubt he is the type to go and try and make himself look sophisticated on facebook with his espresso and pourover coffee pot, but I bet he does enjoy a good cup of coffee.
@@theartistbonez1930 a woke
This is how you get ready for a peaceful protest
Social ++ credits
This is the most clever ad for black rifle I’ve seen lol.
Yeah, they are clever democrats
Cool avatar and name too. :)
@@homeschooldaddyjournal9839 what does that have to do with anything?
@@alms07 its only coffee
I like orange 🍊. And orange men. That have lots of 💰
It's an impressive routine, but I would probably need some coffee before I went through all that.
My great grandmother would brew her drip coffee at night, then turn the pot off and let it sit. In the morning she would pour her cup and microwave it.
You could try that!
I'd certainly need to also have the -after it all ,coffee ..Just to relax from all the activity.
Have some before bed...then you are prepped
"Crisp finish and never ending beginning"
I'm totally going to use that when explaining my coffee habits to my students.
Don't forget bringing out the gravitational notes of the coffee
Classic taste of that coffee from the Tarrazú canton regions in Costa Rica if you ask me
As someone that has three espresso machines, an Aero Press, French press and more..... I felt attacked! And I nearly burst out laughing a couple times. Hilarious!
If you have 3 espresso machines, you're an amateur who can't commit.
He says he takes his coffee seriously yet he doesn’t use an artisanal hand cranked coffee grinder made in a small alpine village on the Swiss-Italian border. Dude’s just talking out his ass.
What is that white on red symbol?
Is that from Robotech (Macross)?
nicely done, Captain, nicely done.
@@3-DtimeCosmology Yes.
🙂
My thoughts exactly. He might as well drink the stuff that collects over the months in that try under the starbucks "coffee"machine. Fucking poser.
Says the man who gets his tea out of a vending machine 😝
"A little pre-coffee coffee!" How I ALWAYS start my day!
"So I curiously run to the bathroom wondering if I'm going to make it this time" 🤣🤣🤣. You know what they say comedy is relatable
He doesn‘t even bripe. How can he be serious about his coffee without starting the day with a nice bripe.
Bripe? *Googles* What. The. F##k?! $90 to make a whopping 1oz of hot brown via a convoluted process. To each their own; but that has got to be one of, if not the, whitest hipster things I've ever seen! *lol*
@@TheFastgeek all I can reply to this ignorance, is that briping is magnificent!
ruclips.net/video/tltBHjmIUJ0/видео.html
^^^ how you know @Traspler knows coffee
What in the world is a "bripe"? 🤦♂️ I mean, I know what a "brips" is, but a "bripe"?
"It helps avoid things like heart disease, and sleep..." 😂
I've had three strong cups of coffee before bedtime and he's not wrong there.
i love how he throws that in there because one sounds healthy and the other doesnt but he makes it sound healthy.. only JP can pull that off i think..
Boss: Why do you drink coffee every morning, will you die without it?
Me: No, but you might.
Ain't that the truth !
And this casual reference to the caffeine deprivation induced psychosis everyone thinks is so funny is the reason i consider coffee to be on par with any other "hard drug". My favorite is "dont talk to me until iv had my coffee" translation "i cannot be expected to behave like a rational human being until iv had my fix". The only difference between a meth addict and a coffee addict is their access to their drug of choice.
@Victor Alvarez no i dont see a difference, amphetamines can make you more productive if used in moderation. As you admitted caffeine has all the same deleterious effects as meth if used irresponsibly. Why do you think students take riddalen when studying, why do you think the military uses amphetamines for long deployments (they call them "stims" so they dont have to feel like drug addicts)? As i said the only difference is the ease of access. One of the main factors that contributes to the instability of illegal drug users is not the drug itself, but rather the highs and lows that come from an inconsistent and expensive supply chain. But just like alcoholics, who will play whatever mental gymnastics to justify their own addiction while being judgmental of others i knew there'd be some caffeine addicts who would do the same.
I dont use meth btw and i do drink coffee and energy drinks, im just not a hypocrite about it.
I don't drink coffee. World, consider yourself warned...
@Victor Alvarez amphetamines are stimulants. Students, military personnel and even truck drivers all use them for their stimulating properties. Caffeine releases endorphins just like any other drug. Why do you think it results in psychosis if you dont keep your levels up. Functional drug addicts are everywhere, just like functional alcoholics. You dont notice them because they generally have jobs that allow them to stay high both economically and through a lack of drug testing. In fact the drug and alcohol training i received at my work when we introduced drug testing claimed that about 70% of drug addicts have jobs. it's well know in the medical community that some of the best surgeons help themselves to either morphine or oxycontin and everyone turns a blind eye because it makes them better surgeons, givng them a steady hand and helpng them get into "the zone". Im not saying excessive use of any drug is a good thing, im just pointing out that the line we draw is entirely arbitrary. But whatever dude, you've clearly let the government/hollyweird propaganda on the subject seep to far into your brain and, like most people, are incapable of thinking for yourself on the matter.
I'm sending this to my daughter, the Caffeine Nazi. I'm not sure if she'll laugh (like me), or see it as a how-to video 🙄 haha
A little of both maybe? Lol
😂😅
Does she send people to concentration camps who cant brew a good cup of coffee?🤣
@@ankit0657 ooooh, thanks for the summer project idea
Just dont drink robusta yuck haha
I really love your video because I was a "certified black apron coffee master" at starbucks for about two years and the people who actually get serious about there coffee are the meanest customers 😂. So now I know more than I'd like to about coffee and nothing at all lol!
I grind my own beans every morning to make sure my neighbours in the upstairs apartment are awake and know I'm grinding my own beans
ruclips.net/video/tDYqUV8Ozak/видео.html
🤣😂
I recently learned that coffee wakes you up because it has toxins inside it that the body tries to get rid of by increasing you heat rate, pumping it out of you body to pee out. That's what gives you the wake feeling. Enjoy your coffee.
Monsters come in all shapes and sizes.
And they can smell it.mmmmmm
"With the sneaky-ness of Edward Snowden..." Hahahahaha
buttttt I'm addicted ugh Lol
OMG! 🤣🤣🤣
“While we’re waiting for it, I’ll be making espresso!”
I died laughing
"It lowers the chances of thongs like heart disease and sleep" I'm dying.
My wife is JP in this video! She can’t live without her coffee! ☕️
ruclips.net/video/tDYqUV8Ozak/видео.html
lol
Intervention time.
Mine too
hahahaha!
I laughed so hard when he was just staring out of window shaking.
Ok. It's time JP to fess up.....who? Is it? That brilliantly comes out w\your material?? Every video is terrific🐊
So.. who could it be?? Perhaps Mrs. JP?🤔
.
And he says, "and just relax while my heart races"... I died
Funniest part
😂ikr
i love the faces he makes, it brings the comedy to a new level
“And just slow down while my heart races” I seriously 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“With a balanced flavour profile of complex chocolate and advanced trigonometry” this killed me 😂😂😂
It brings out the gravitational notes in the coffee
“I always weigh my beans because I didn’t have friends in high school”😆
That was my favorite part!
It's funny because it's true
Definitely the best line.
My favorite part because... I weigh my beans before going in the hopper, coming out of the grinder, and brewing into the cup. What led me to this 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I just died laughing as every coffee pomposity was put on display...and punctured...and I have all that gear too (guilty!).
I just started drinking coffee a few months ago and I'm cracking up watching this. Love JP's sense of humor.
"... and a hint of nostalgia about the night before your Grandmother died, looked you innthe eyes, and called you by your brother's name..."
I was just listening to that part as I read this
JP should do wine snobs next!
I died😂😂
My grandma would start off with my cousins names and just go down the list until she got it. My cousins are girls :/
hey are you to much coffee ?
I like to slow down while my heart races 😂
I was looking for this one to support JP and the algorithm.
LMAO @ "with a crisp finish, & a never-ending beginning,"! 🤣🤣🤣
Where have I been? I love this guy!
I love how he's being sarcastic, but has some serious coffee equipment at the same time.
Yes, if you think he's being sarcastic it means that you're not taking coffee seriously. Shame on you.
He was seriously sarcastic
They are props for the skit.
Like Babylon-bee. Satire, but Not.
@@GreggAdventure Haha only serious.
As a recovering alcoholic, I take my coffee deadly serious. I even drink it before bed.
The sum of vices is constant..
Fast metabolisers of caffeine can sleep within an hour of ingestion. Slow metabolisers will take more than eight hours, commonly ten.
@@jessicali8594 or the adrenal glands are so worn out that it literally does nothing anymore besides prevent withdrawal headaches
That's not good, but I wish you well on your recovery. I hope you find a better way to cope.
Does "recovering alcoholic" mean that you can enjoy alcohol again ?
There's got to be an easier way to cover up your Adderall addiction than pretending to enjoy coffee 😂
"I always weigh my beans, because I didn't have friends in highschool" OMG I'm dead!🤣🤣🤣🤣
LMAOOOOOOOO.... "I DETECT THE MEMORY OF CHOCOLATE... ITS EVEN MORE SUBTLE... "
ruclips.net/video/tDYqUV8Ozak/видео.html
superhomeopathicallicious
“With a crisp finish and a never ending beginning” hahahaha he’s so funny
Inspired humor. 😃😄
Brilliant! Thank you! I needed this today! PD's mom, Virginia
Phenomenally funny!!! I actually laughed out loud at my office... then I ran into the bathroom for my afternoon post-triple-shot of espresso meeting.
"...in a spiralized motion because of the fibonacci sequence." You got me with this one 😂🤣😂
But it must come from the HIPS!
@@suzannehartmann946 😂
Kristin haha 😂 yaaaas!
If I knew what a fibonacci was, it might have gotten me as well!
“I always weigh my beans because I didn’t have friends in high school. . .”
Me: *looks at french press* Ah. Now I get it.
That one hit close to home.
Died laughing on that note!
Moka Pot is another option
To close! Got my french press a yr ago!🥴
Well, this explains why I have a pour over and a $600 espresso machine. Man, I’m need to get out more often.
Never underestimate the vital importance of pre coffee coffee.
The $75,001 esspresso machine. That model is good for beginners
4:23 "The I'm-about-to-severely-move-my-bowels-wherever-I'm-at Coffee Fairy comes to visit me, so I curiously head to the bathroom wondering if I'm going to make it this time" DYING!!!!
“Never picked when mercury is in retrograde” 🤣
One of the funniest skits ever. I come back to it again and again. It’s great sharing the laughs with others too. Thank you JP!
Same!!
Hilarious!😄 I wonder what this guy is like as a regular person day to day....seems really smart. Uses words & descriptions that I'd never think of.
Definitely very intelligent and has serious linguistic skills! I am a math and science person so I am blown away by all of JP's creative verbiage.
JP you have reached a new level of mastery, where the entire skit is an advertisement, but not just for BRCC, but your own line as well. Bravo.
And still a hilarious skit!
I have never before been so effectively validated and insulted in synchronous harmony... 🤣
I love his shirt "Awake, but not Woke". Perfect.
Ha. I dated this guy once(the persona he’s impersonating, not actually him). JP forgot to add eggshells to the grinds for the pour over. Can’t remember what those were for. My kids think I’m too serious about my morning coffee; now I can show them just how reasonable I am.
“With a crisp finish and a never-ending beginning” 😭
"It lowers your chance of things like heart disease and sleep." LOL!!!
I saw an article about how the CEO of Black rifle coffee went woke. I couldn't afford Black Rifle before so it's not that hard to boycott a fascist supporting coffee company.
@UOS BOIII Who could afford their coffee? I was at a Bass pro shop in Missouri recently and Black Rifle was $20 lb.[ f,ing crazy] I haven't been to a Starbucks in over a decade, DD is cheaper and better. The absolute best coffee seems to always be at your local Diner.
When black rifle wasnt communist. Good times
Gonna need some context for that one, feller.
@@njamison1000 I was wondering what they meant too.
Black Rifle needs a lil Tom Macdonald in their life right now
After a year watching James Hoffmann, I'm sitting here thinking unironically, "this guy isn't really serious about his coffee."
hahaha that's exactly what I thought when I saw the grinder....and the bag of unknown roast on date coffee lol
Not to mention the abuse of the Chemex paper and that awful tamp 😵
When he didn’t distribute before tamping, and tapped the sides of the basket, i experienced actual pain X(
Same.
I'd say he was DEFINITELY trolling us all!
😂 “I always weigh my beans, because I didn’t have friends in high school!” 😂 JP IS THE MAN!! 🔥
Right!!?!?! I'm dying!!!!
Clearly all the kids at his school were too intimidated by him to be his friends XD
ruclips.net/video/tDYqUV8Ozak/видео.html
🤣🤣🤣
ruclips.net/video/tDYqUV8Ozak/видео.html
The man basically just got us to watch a 5 minute ad and we loved every second of it.
Realistically, a true coffee addict doesn't care how they get the coffee, they'll just take the shortest route to get that steaming cup of caffeine as soon as humanly possible. You break any of these machines, the owner just gets annoyed and goes to buy another one. You break a regular coffee machine (french press or normal coffee machine) and the owner kills you before using your blood in the backup machine they have for emergencies.
"Hey, man. How do you take your coffee?"
"Anyway that doesn't involve decaf or hazelnut."
“With the sneakiness of Edward Snowdon” 😂😂😂
Was looking for this comment 😂 remarkable
As a Brit that doesn’t drink tea!!! Love this ❤️
He forgot to WEIGH the beans for the espresso .UNFORGIVABLE
The lack of crema on the espresso disturbed me greatly😂
Gah, me too hopefully it's not that fancy pants machine 😁
Seriously! I thought the same thing! Plus...30 seconds?
A must with only lemon peel rimmmmm
Same.
@@marcsmith2708 no doubt my shots need to be 26.5 or i toss it
I honestly can't tell if this video has decreased or increased my love for coffee...
Love how he’s using a sheet of paper for a coffee filter. Nailed it!
Hilarious! Esp when you brought out the coffee enema, way over the top. I could never watch your videos out in public because the way I cackle with laughter people will think I'm nuts. At least when I'm at home my kids already know what time it is... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
BRCC: “Hey, JP, can you do an ad for us on your next episode?” JP: “Only of I can insult your entire customer base in the process.” BRCC: “Done!”
But most moderates and conservatives and take a friendly joke.
@@whitemagus2000 oh of course lol I myself love black rifle and think this was perfect
Black Rifle wouldn't have it any other way. It's the only coffee company that will go out of its way to publicly disavow a customer if you've ever had to use an actual black rifle to defend your own life.
I look forward to being insulted like this again. There is a reason commies can't do memes.
@@KnuckleHunkybuck Source?
I kinda wish that after the whole 'morning coffee routine' he finally would have been ready to leave for work and it was night already.
There's a difference between simple interest and pure passion.
This video highlights that difference.
He focused on the beans but not the water quality. Not serious enough 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“I take my coffee SUPER seriously!”
-The guy pulling espresso shots into the frothing pitcher
Doesn't even weigh the water going into the Chemex. Pshh, not that serious I guess lol
Dude. My head exploded.
Did you see how hard he tamped it 😂
@@domonator1167 I thought I was the only one felt he’s doing it wrong
The subtle misuse of the equipment is part of this excellent satire.
“I don’t taste chocolate, I detect the memory of chocolate.” 😂
black rifle ONLY use it for enema ... ..but ONLy if you hate youre clients and feel the need for bad karma ;)
otherwise.... use regular non backstab coffee ;)
@UOS BOIII you know THIS video is from a while back? from before some of those idiots from BRC backstabbed their fans.
where did you hear that, NYT?
"and never ending beginning" 🤣🤣
"It should all be coming from your hips."
This one! 🤣👍🏻
“Cuz coffee’s good for you... lowers your chances of heart disease and sleep” 😂😂
My favorite coffee addicts all tell me caffeine does not effect them.... and practically in the next sentence begin telling me how they “just don’t sleep” 😂🤣😂🤣
Tobin logic, "if your heart is palpitating, that means its working harder, which means youre getting stronger"
Too much daily can lead to diabetes, and Weight Gain over time
I’m from Melbourne, and I totally love this!
Him pouring the water 😂😂😂
“Life is far too precious a thing to ever take seriously.”
- Oscar Wilde
So was Oscar Wilde.
"To much coffee gives you volcanic mud-butt." -Moon Tzu. (Sun's smartass brother)
I didn’t have friends in high school either. Didn’t know that translated to emotional coffee problems..explains a lot now.
''i always weigh my beans cuz i din't have friends in highschool'' 😭😭😭
Talking over the blending... effing hilarious 😆
JP did an awesome coffee video about Portland’s coffee scene. Born and raised in Portland. He was so spot on.
"Portland, Oregon. Where even the homeless are picky about the coffee they drink."
From the movie 'Extreme Days'.
The true sign of a comedic genius is that at least once in every video he induces a gut busting laugh. The point where he said he likes to see and wait and journal and try to calm himself after all his coffee did it.
Same!
Don't even look at me until I've had my morning coffee enema
When my sis told me she only makes pourover, i told her a mr coffee basic machine IS a pourer. She was perplexed.
"I curiously head to the bathroom..." is by FAR the funniest way of describing going to the bathroom I've ever heard 😂😂😂
"Coffee's good for you."
I drink coffee for other people's health and safety.
Same here :-)
Is that why i see people put coffee filters on their face while driving ?
This deserves more likes.
Same! "Coffee I need, or kill you I will."
Thanks for killing yourself so I don't
I used to swing by Home Depot and get coffee at the contractors cash register on my way to work... it's a long story, but they invited me to stop by any time whether I buy stuff or not.
Hats off to Home Depot in Decatur, Alabama.
This video went places I only read about. I was hoping to never have that realization.
“With a crisp finish, and a never-ending beginning.” ...😆
And a never beginning ending
This is legit how they trained us at Starbucks 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can totally believe that! Lol
Oh no, did they give the trainees, sorry baristas in training, coffee enemas too?!
As a former barista from not Starbucks, this brings back quite a few memories as well.. When he started talking about fibonacci sequences while doing the pour-over I lost it. 🤣
I just like how you and others are concerned people won't believe you when you make a statement, so you have to add 'legit' in there.
And then you serve diabetes in a cup
I have Black Rifle Coffee Company bags too JP! Plus I actually live in Utah.
I just watched a six-minute Black Rifle commercial, and stayed to the end.
“ I always weigh my beans because I didn’t have friends in high school. “ 🤣🤣🤣
"... With sneakyness of Edward Snowden.." 😂
he's hitting on something true there- take not all the coffee snobs
commenting on this..:)
What does that mean ?? I don’t get it
For coffee companies that take the veteran communities AND the Second Amendment seriously, try Invader Coffee or Black Out Coffee, who don't donate to Anti-2A Politicians unlike the co-founder of BRCC.
As far as I can tell he only donated because he lost a bet, and donated more to the other candidate to offset.
@@Christina-cf9ot he donated to several including Biden and Gabbard (a major Anti-2A politician), that was only last year. Previous years there were more. He also donated to Act Blue and BLM, which both fund donations to the DNC and is then redistributed to major Democrat candidates, including others potential staunch Anti-2A. I don't care the reason or how much, only that he did. The fact that they use the very same firearms as props to make their videos to sell coffee, that politicians are actively trying to ban or legislate into non-existence is a level of hypocrisy I cannot abide, no excuses. His money comes from you, he donates that money to them, your money is going to them, even if it's a fraction of a cent, it will not be my fraction of a cent. The idea he came out and said "but it was a bet" and people bought that without the slightest hesitation of googling what is publicly accessible, per donation laws, is the very reason why people are surprised Biden didn't magically fulfill the wibtard wish list upon taking office because they also were too complicity ignorant to bother informing themselves of Biden's past.
Don't know what's more of a stain Black Rifle coffee on the teeth or their companies reputation as they coward and ran away from supporting Kyle Rittenhouse as he defended his own life.
Utterly brilliant ✨
*Lowers your chance of heart disease and sleep*
Hat dang JP is a wordsmith!