Hello beloved friends, I didn't realize when I was filming this that the Room Project donation drive is ENDING today at 3pm EST! If you missed it, you can still donate by going to the Room Project website (www.roomproject.org/) and clicking on "SUPPORT ROOM PROJECT" under the picture. Thank you so much for watching and for all of your sweet comments! xoxoxo
EXCELLENT video Hannah. I’ve watched so many no buy and low buy videos and I’ve never heard someone be able to dissect their own behavior and discuss research the way you did here. You brought up concepts I hadn’t considered. I do hope you consider writing a piece about your no buy year after it is over.
your update was brilliant, i've really enjoyed these types of videos from you. it reminded me of this quote it's from mindfulness in plain english by henepola gunaratana: "'Discipline' is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up-restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain-just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.”
What you speak of is based on psychology. I can't remember what it's called. It's something like change your thoughts, you end up changing the behavior, change your behavior you end up changing your thoughts. I actually learned about it when I was in rehab about 6 years ago. It stuck with me for awhile because it totally makes sense. This video is extremely helpful Hannah.
Just as I suspected! I bet that actual addiction theory has a lot to say about this. I will see if I can find a book or an expert, learn more and report back. Thanks for your input, Angela! xoxo
Wow! It is so generous and kind of you to share these deeply personal reflections - thank you. The idea of constantly searching for something to buy to create your 'fantasy self' is certainly something that resonates with me, and something that I'm striving to be more mindful of in all avenues of my life. I also think that learning, and reading about these ideas around pleasure and satisfaction is a really interesting way to curb impulse spending and have more mindful purchases. xox
Up until age 37, I would wash my face day and night and use SPF in the morning. I literally had two skin care products. I am now 41, platinum at Ulta and have spent an embarrassing amount of money in 4 years on skin care and cosmetics. While I am financially sound, I still know that something has to give. Happiness vs. pleasure is something I struggled with especially as I approached my 40's. And, yes, I have a sugar issue as well (just check my avatar). Thank you for the candid, cogent, and honest conversation. I subscribed to you last night. Looking forward to following your no-buy year.
Hi Yen, I'm so happy that you stumbled on my channel, thank you for subscribing! Needing to save more money was a huge motivator for me, but I've read comments of SO many people for whom money isn't a constraint but they still feel deeply troubled by overspending on cosmetics and feel the need to make change. That's so telling to me. And the dramatic shift in my inner life during my no-buy, which has nothing to do with money, has also been revealing. Thanks for commenting! xoxo
Last time I ate something with sugar was over 5-6 years ago. The feeling that I eat just the foods I need (proteins, veggies, healthy fats, oats, very rarely fruits or 85-90% chocolate) is the best feeling in the world :) I don't think I could do anything better for my body than stop eating sugar. As a nice, extra bonus I stopped eating white flour because my body did not want to eat it anymore (it can raise blood sugar in the similar/the same way as sugar). Thank you for another good video and I wish a happy day for everyone out there
I'm basically the same! I still eat it once in a while, but I'm grain-free for the same reasons as you with flour, also rarely eat fruit, and I've never felt better. It's such a good parallel with the dopamine vs. serotonin thing. Without the sugar rush, my body has developed a constant state of well-being.
I DO know what you mean... and I feel like when we slip from appreciating beauty everywhere to that non-stop-shop state of mind, we may appreciate what's around us less-- it has to be the next thing, or we don't enjoy it fully. For myself, when I slipped into that for a while, I found myself creating less, which was horrible. & As you talk about Nordstrom Rack, I'm thinking how your new sense of reveling in your curated collection has in fact helped you reconnect with what you have. This kind of thing is why I used to love taking out, inspecting, cleaning up, and changing over my whole makeup collection every season, and it kept me grounded, knowing (and loving) what I had. Then that collection grew too big to do that in one day, and after a few seasons of that, I had more makeup that I was using less...
Yes, I've always been kind of a shopping addict, but the shift with makeup came almost overnight at the end of 2016, driven by a combination of sadness after the election and a major uptick in my RUclips consumption. I think my collection grew more than 10x its size in 2017!
Thank you for sharing! You articulate complex thoughts and feelings so well it's a pleasure to listen to you. Opening up isn't easy, but this awareness journey you are sharing is helping me and other a lot, so thank you again! You should absolutely write about this no buy year in an essay/ self help book or anything :)
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head regarding what you said in this video, thank you so very much for sharing. This is a conversation I need to have /am having with myself.
There is a quote by max planck, one of the fathers of Physics that goes this way, and I think encapsulates what you’re talking about regarding changing the behavior alters the root cause: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It’s such a simple but elegant concept, really, because at the end of the day how we treat makeup and our habits regarding to makeup and shopping (and therefore all the things we make orbit around them) are a matter of perception. Once we actively change the habit that causes us displeasure, it turns out the displeasure disappears, and we can look at life through a different lens.
I absolutely love these check-in videos! Love how you kind of think of yourself as a character in a novel or short story so that that other side of yourself as the narrator can reflect on the character's thoughts and behavior.
I appreciate your honesty and insights in this excellent video, Hannah. I think that purchasing the “perfect” item can be part of a fruitless project of “perfecting” ourselves. I am a minimalist, but continually struggle with wanting to buy the “perfect” thing, which I justify by noting that I have so few things that I “deserve” the “perfect” version of that thing. Hearing you speak about your no-buy experiences is really motivating. Thank you for your videos!
that's so interesting, it's not always about thinking you need more, but also about needing to find the perfect thing even if you are already at peace with having less. Thanks for sharing!
You continue to be inspiring...such a thoughtful video, somehow not what I expect from RUclips. p.s. I made it through No Buy July! I am toying with the idea of No Buy August because this is the first time in years that I haven't constantly worried that I maybe spent too much and might be in trouble with the bills. Such a relief.
Hannah, thank you so much for this video. We are so similar with our shopping and sugar struggles. The battle for me is exhausting but seeing this video is motivating and uplifting. You're incredible, thank you for what you do. Sending all the love and positive vibes! 🤗❤️
I have been on an unofficial no buy for a lot of the year and turned it official a couple of months back. I have noticed so many of the different changes you speak of and I’ve become acutely aware of the marketing ploys used by companies and that I was allowing my love of makeup and beauty to fuel a shopping issue. I wouldn’t say it’s an addiction for me because I’ve not found it hugely difficult to give up - more of a habit that was broken after a couple of weeks of staying out of shops. I don’t like a lot of these companies’ social media posts that glamourise and romanticise shopping addiction and I was previously immune to those when I was still buying but now they kind of make me feel really uneasy when i see them. Great video!
Agreed! I was always pretty aware of marketing ploys (or so I thought) but now they make me roll my eyes SO hard. I'm surprised at the extent of my perspective shift.
Your theory on fixing the act of the behavior and in turn fixes the core root to the behavior is super cool to hear. My work with a variety of individuals and trying to work on the core does not always work. What would work is to help the individual where they want help. “meet them where they’re at.” This is super cool that you are addressing your personal concerns head on and having reflective thoughts along the way. Your bravery is remarkable and truly inspiring. Your videos are like my audio books 📚 😀 and I am enjoying each chapter. I love audio books but haven’t committed to another book since I finished my last one. Listening to your videos is fitting to what my current journey and goals are. I can’t say it enough but thank you so much. I definitely want to support you and to keep your channel alive and when I finally can contribute to your donating site, I definitely will. 😀😀🙏🏼🤗😀😊🙏🏼 thank you 🙏🏼 😊💕
Oh my goodness🙏 I have been listening to your monthly check in’s over the last few days and we are kindred spirits. Thank you for thinking to post your journey about this “No Buy” topic! I have just unsubscribed from all my shopping emails that I receive and was listening to you talk about Beauty…not the beauty industry, but what is more like (in my mind) Muse of Beauty or great goddess of Beauty whose graceful touch inspires humanity to strive to some of our highest ideals…to love, to appreciate, to be present…to inspire with the Beauty that speaks to our very Soul. Beauty is one of the few things that can actually cut through ALL the layers of psychological and emotional walls we put up around ourselves. It’s why sick patients recover better in a room with a window overlooking Nature. (I’m writing this from a treadmill 😅) so I apologize! But just needed to say YES to what you’re saying as well say you’d probably love Terence McKenna’s thoughts on beauty and Henry David Thoreau’s thoughts on fashion! You are a Beautiful inspiration for us all and thank you ✨
So your video is just what I needed today. Its my birthday and I got an ulta coupon in the mail and was like you said searching for what I could buy. Of course I already know I don't want anything but was trying to talk myself into something. So I have given myself permission to let the coupon expire and that's just fine😀. Thank you again and have a great weekend!!
Happy birthday, and congrats on the meaningful, powerful decision to let the coupon expire! That's actually a really big deal, I think. Amazing work and thanks for sharing. xoxox
Four years late to the party but something you said really struck me. The bit about changing the behavior first instead of addressing the original problem is exactly how treating restrictive eating disorders goes. It is much more effective most of the time to stop the behavioral cycle than to try to disentangle the morass that drives it. I’ve watched most of these check-ins already but I’m rewatching some to steel myself for an upcoming no buy period so thank you ❤
Working my way through your check ins and this one is SO good and kind of mind-blowing. "Spending more time in the identity I already have", "that clear-headedness is a kind of happiness" ...yes to this!
From what I know of cognitive behavioral therapy emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are a circular whole. If you change one, you change the other 2. So what you are saying makes perfect sense. I did no buy July. I bought 3 small things for myself all month for less than $20. I don’t feel deprived, and I am not rushing to buy things now that July is over. Thanks for your videos, Hannah.
Your dress is art. I love art and find it in clothes, fabrics, pictures, jewelry , pottery, furniture , etc. I get it. I now shop out of my own attic, basement etc. When you get older you realize that retirement is coming and these things has caused me to continue working. I tell young people I wished I would have figured it out sooner.
I know this video is a year old, but I only recently found your channel and I just wanted to tell you that I think most people can relate to using material things to establish an identity. I know I have times where I'd go buy new clothes because I wanted to emulate the style of someone I admired and I thought if I could just have the perfect wardrobe, makeup, hairstyle, car, house, etc. I could feel content. No matter how much I bought there was always something else. I can totally relate to looking for something to want. I have started a no buy August 2019 and I hope to continue on after the month is over. It was very brave of you to take on a whole year and put it out there on RUclips. By the way, you are perfect just as you are. You are classy, clearly very intelligent and articulate and I just thoroughly enjoy listening to your analysis of your shopping behaviors. It is helping me tremendously. Keep up the great work!
YES!!! It’s called Cognitive Dissonance - you cannot think one thing and act another thing or the reverse - and behavior will ALWAYS prevail in changing thinking. There is actual science in the ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ adage. I’m sure you’ve learned all this since this video - I got excited 😆
Your vulnerability and tears at 13.20 onwards really got to me and I felt myself welling up with you. I've never heard it put better than you have here.
Just such a great video. I feel like you explain things and it just hits home in so many ways. I think you are really helping so many of us. ..and you look extra beautiful in this video too.
Wow! You are on a real roll with uploading this week! On the topic of love of beauty, I totally get what you mean. I think you said it very well in one of your previous videos when you said something like, "you can't own color." I don't really have a shopping problem per se (except when it comes to lipstick) but I am trying to live more minimally. So when I was looking at new and interesting makeup products the other day and started to feel compelled to make a purchase, I realized that it's not the prospect of owning the makeup that excited me, it was the colors. I stopped to consider how many times I would actually end up putting those colors on my face. As you may have guessed, I didn't buy anything that day.
Wow, thanks for sharing this! I had kind of forgotten I said that, and it totally makes sense in the concept of this video. So glad that concept has been useful. xo!
Beautiful clarity. I’m aware when I start to lose perspective and claw my way back. Often, if I start consuming more, it’s to distract me from listening to my gut because I need to make a change in my life and I’m actively avoiding it. I’m getting better at redirecting my energies. Self awareness is such a powerful component to leading a happy life. Lovely, well-considered content. 🙏
I totally agree! We love to distract ourselves by buying things. I've gone through a lot of radical changes this year unrelated to spending, and I think it's because bringing a halt to my habit brought all of the things I had been ignoring into the light.
I am feeling this SO SO MUCH!! Since I saw your video on how your no-buy changed your life which I found through Christina Mychas (former StyleApotheca), I was sure that I wanted to do a now buy year. I watched every check in video from January on to this one, but this is my revelation. I am sick and tired of this constant strive towards the seemingly perfect state of my flat, wardrobe, skincare etc. ... THIS is the ultimate reason for me to start the no-buy year. THANK YOU so much :) best regards
I have recently come across your channel through Angelica Nyqvist (woohoo!) and have been listening/watching your no buy playlist, but especially these monthly check ins. I’ve done it in reverse where i did a budget year this year for buying all stuff, and i am currently considering a no buy year next year. so many of what you mention about obsessing over buying the next thing is what i realised to be a form of escapism for me, and that we eventually all need to look inwards. Thank you for being so honest and raw, it is brave and beautiful. Your channel is so refreshing!
Another great video! I did know what you mean but I love that you put in so much effort to articulate it anyway. Your description of yourself as someone who loves beauty and how that love gets warped by consumerism was spot on. I am definitely going to check out that book! My no buy (15 May-15 August) was a struggle this month. I went to India for work, and as I’d already stated in my rules I allowed myself to buy one pashmina scarf. I love the one I chose, but I also really struggled to stop myself from buying more, especially home wares (which I really would have loved and gotten good use from). I found myself angry at my previous self for not setting the no-buy end before my trip. But I held out and now I’m glad. I’ve been thinking I might try to do a full no buy year in 2019 (or maybe Nov 2018-Oct 2019 or something) because I do think I need more time to reset my brain and my habits in the way you’ve talked about in this and other videos. Sorry for the ramble, and thanks again for another excellent and thoughtful video.
Wow, thanks for sharing your experience, and it sounds like you did a truly heroic job of sticking to your no-buy in India. It takes a lot of discipline to just pick one thing to buy in a setting like that, and it's amazing to hear that you were regretful at the time but that you are now glad that you only brought home one special item.
I can really relate to what you're saying. It's like abstaining from drugs and/or alcohol...when one abstains from the problem substance, the internal work can begin and one hopefully changes. I don't want to equate any of our love of shopping to substance abuse; there are some parallels, though 🙂.
Hi Christine! I actually think there are tons of parallels. I know that some substances can be far more dangerous, so the experiences aren't equal, but much of what's going on in "the root" that I talk about (and the stuff Lustig talks about in his book) is so similar. I'm going to do some more research about it!
High five for library usage!🖐 I just finished up The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I feel like the book your reading would be a great one for me to grab now. It's TRUE, I've noticed how it i change my actions my thoughts start to follow suit these days; I've been appreciating things I have and getting rid of what I dont fully love and it's taken a huge weight off my shoulders. This was a lovely video Hannah, well done.💖
going to the library is one of my FAVORITE things (especially since I'm not allowed to buy books!) I hope you do read the book, we can read it together!
Yes, on the searching for something to buy! I used to look on Buzzfeed articles titled "12 things popular on Amazon right now" and such, just to find things to buy! Mostly out of that mindset now, thankfully. It got really bad last year with a really stressful time period (grad school, dealing with the landlord and strata from hell that made my living situation unbearable, serious family illness, etc.) and now I'm trying to reach out to friends more and spend money on experiences when things are overwhelming instead of just getting 'good feelings' from buying things. I'm hoping it will start working- although a few of the things that have driven me to stress-buy will be ending soon (grad school is done mid way this month, and moving out of this place soon) so we'll see if it really was stress related or if I'll still have that drive to buy.
I think sometimes stress can trigger it but then it can be really hard to stop clinging to the habit even after the stress level goes down. That's what happened to me. But knowing what you are doing and why, and being able to catch yourself in the act, is a large part of the battle.
I made it through July! I’m so excited. I found that instead of watching RUclips and buying make up. I’ve been listening to audio books and training for a half marathon. I realized that when I stopped running, I started shopping. So I would rather spend my money on a race entries and train vs buying make up. I’m going on a continued no buy for August!
You are so relatable and satisfying.. I honestly have been enjoying what I already have and I've become more content with what I already own and who I already am. And... I've not allowed my want surpass what I need..
I think what you said here is so interesting - that changing a behaviour in itself healed the psychological difficulty. More truly I think you healed yourself through the thought you brought to everything. This is an inspiring piece of work.
Oh, Hannah, I think this is my favorite video that you have created. Your vulnerability is so evident and causes me to feel even more connected. I am a (currently) non-writing writer...don’t really have a shopping addiction but have found ways to distract myself from what I need to be doing in the world. Thank you for your bravery in communicating your very important perspectives. I am a California transplant living in Raleigh, North Carolina. I love hearing the “y’alls” as the second person plural is sadly lacking in mainstream English (but present in Spanish, which is my native language.) Much love and peace to you.
"Losing days and days and days of my precious life in the service of that obsession." I love your words and thoughts! They are so well said and powerful. I've also been de-cluttering my entire house. Only keeping what I love, no more duplicates to clutter things up. Thanks for the quick mention of the book. I'd like to read it and looking forward to hearing your thoughts about it!
It’s wonderful that as each month goes by, you can see the changes in your way of thinking and behavior from the start, and reflect on then and now! I have seen positive changes in myself with my own journey and I am happy with where I am at and the path that I am on!
Hannah, this video absolutely crystallized for me the behaviour I was looking to change in 2019. I had been going into January 2019 on a no-buy with the thought of possibly turning it into a year long no-buy. I had mixed feelings about it as I could shop and shop and shop all day but never had to buy anything and had minimized my home and knew I didn't really want to bring a bunch more stuff in. However, that was just the thing. All my free time was used up window shopping in stores and scrolling through etsy. It has become a very obsessive and unending behaviour. I am absolutely going to do a no-buy year now. This is a bad habit that I understand needs to be addressed now thanks to this video. Your channel is lovely and I'm so happy I found it. I've been voraciously consuming all its content. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing your experiences and thoughts.
Hi Hannah, that's a wonderful video, your honesty is so refreshing! You speak of many things I can relate to and I will look into the book of Robert Lustig too. I believe, the steps you are taking now, are actually creating true beauty from inside and will manifest as that beauty in your life. That's so much more than another lipstick or dress. We all probably are under effect of the pleasure buttons and those can be pressed in many different ways....keep on going! Best wishes
I'm a little late to join the conversation here, but thank you for this brilliant, insightful video presented in your eloquent, calm, and personal way - such a pleasure to watch and listen to, and well thought through! Love it!
I love your honesty. People usually like to lie to themselves that their reasons are different that really are 😉 Deep in my heart I'm a minimalist 😝 But seriously, I have two so much different reasons behind my buying habits. One - I like minimal, eco, natural products and style. I'm against wasting. And two - I'm so tempted by the beauty community! I want to be fresh, bright, colourful and on trends. I'm constantly beetween this two "fantasy me".
I think the first step is being able to see yourself and understand that it's happening, so you can make clearer choices! It sounds like you're well on your way.
I feel like I'm on my way for so long now and didn't go to the right point. I need to do some new steps. I'm torn because I can't watch beauty channels without a feeling that I don't have enough. But I like to watch it. I consider channels like yours "safe" for me. If a creator is going from a point "you don't need it" it's easier because I don't have to tell it by myself 😉 I don't know yet what I should do with some of channels which I like but watching leads me to make a sin 😛
Hannah - Really enjoying your channel! The content is incredibly insightful, and you have a really eloquent way of discussing it. Thank you for sharing this experience!
Wow Hannah! It feels like you are talking about me. Always looking for something to buy and wanting things to create the perfect version of myself. Your words really resonated with me this time, thank you so much for sharing! I’ve only been on a nobuy for a month, but I have not bought one single beauty/skincare item and I am already feeling some positive changes in my mindset.
Hi Hannah, I have just started my No Buy (half) Year and found you because of Hailey (I hope I spelled her name right...). And I need to tell you that THIS is the best video I have ever watched on this topic!!! You put into words what I was feeling but couldn‘t really describe to others- that it’s not just about the things themselves, not just about the momentarily pleasure of having a shiny new toy, but the need for (re-)defining my self, the strive to find that one item that would represent what I see myself as etc. Thank you so much for sharing and your honesty, it is painful and revealing and healing.❤️
You have so beautifully touched on supremely important albeit hidden, psychological motivations behind shopping so many of us battle. So much truth here, and quiet, calm, peaceful heartfelt moments of awareness leading to the joy via appreciation of what we already have can be life changing. You are such a blessing to many, Hannah! Thank you for sharing so much with us.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Excellent! I plan to read that book you mentioned soon! I have to continue telling you that you are SO inspiring/motivating in this journey of breaking the vicious cycle. The struggle of need vs want and pleasure vs happiness is real.
i needed to hear this. i have a shopping problem and know its a mask for emptiness. your vulnerability is humbling and i will start a nobuy as well because this has to stop.
Best of luck with your no-buy, it is a journey and being able to even just type the words saying that you have a problem is a huge step. thanks for your comment, big hugs xoxoxo
I absolutely LOVE these videos where you discuss things like root causes and desire and compulsion...so insightful and helpful!!! Epiphanies abound and I couldn't be happier😊
Thank you for this very interesting video, you have resumed my thoughts about my habits of shopping ... your videos are very useful ! have a nice day Hannah !
My sister was in LA this week, and I took her around. We went shopping in Sawtelle and Thousand Oaks. I was able to successfully take her around without succumbing to mindless shopping - something I could not have done a year ago. I think it’s something that we as women tend to do in groups - maybe our ancient hunter/gatherer ways surface at Nordstrom Rack! I always relate to your videos so much. I’ll check out the book recommendation too - because sugar used to be my other pleasure hit. It’s sinister!
hannah ive just found you and been watching you for the past couple of days. youre amazing. your year long series is so inspirational. i love listening to you !!! i am also currently on a year long no buy of make up but i have bought a handful of things by accident .. cos they were not that exy, my favourites, as well as on sale! so i thought i needed backups.. obviously thats my downfall. but my thought patterns with buying have changed now after doing this (even though i succumbed a few times). i realise i just don need it and more importantly i live just fine (and am happy) with what i have already. just wanted to say youre so articulate and love hearing to talk. keep up the amazing work! :)
Hi Jenny, thanks so much for watching! I'm glad you are feeling those thought patterns change, that is what really matters as far as I'm concerned. Thanks for commenting! xo!
The search for perfect representation of inner identity so resonated with me. I recently took the Enneagram test and scored highest as a 4. Fours are preoccupied with being unique and ultimate truth, especially within themselves, as well as the love of beauty, art, and the preoccupation with the power of space. I totally relate to the idea of searching for just the right dish set, or hair style, or lipstick color, that will represent who I am as a person. The problem, of course, is that we are infinitely complex as human beings, and nothing will ever be able to capture that essence. If I don't personally come to grips with that, I'll never be able to get my never-ending quest for the "perfect" things under control. Thanks for articulating this so well.
As I reread my comment, the "preoccupation with space" didn't translate very well. By that, I mean that certain people are more affected and conscious of the "vibe" or feeling of a room or space. I notice major differences in my mood and well-being when I am surrounded by plants, trees, greens, and the sounds of water.
I'm a 4, too (if you couldn't tell, hah!) I've made a serious study of the enneagram, and it has really helped me. I love the idea of trying to become less trapped by the personality. The more aware I am of how my 4 personality wants to behave (its knee-jerk reactions), the more capable I am of catching myself in the act and not letting those instincts run (ruin?) my life. I learned that what "feels" right and necessary is often just my unreasonable personality making demands. With your space example: I used to be unable to function in my space if it wasn't 100% perfect. But over time I've become more relaxed about it and less convinced that my identity is defined by my space. It feels like becoming more "normal," which the 4 personality hates, because we are so attached to being unique. But for us it is a move towards health.
You’ve given me so much to think about. Too often I let myself be paralyzed and victimized by less than perfect circumstances. Any books or resources in particular that were helpful to you in your study of the Enneagram?
yes! "The Wisdom of the Enneagram" by Riso & Hudson is my holy grail enneagram book, to use the beauty community language :) Their chapter about the 4 type genuinely changed my life. I go back and read it frequently when I'm feeling lost or gripped by my old behaviors. They don't suggest that you habitually type other people (the ennagram is more intended as a tool for self-reflection) but when I'm really struggling with a super difficult personality in my life, I'll often try to figure out that person's type and then read the Riso & Hudson chapter about it. It can really help to develop empathy, because it helps me see that the person's personality is acting out according to type, and that in many ways they can't help it, they're just on a runaway train of their personality.
You nailed it Hannah. Keep up the self discovery and excavate the life you want that don’t require so much stuff that get in our way mentally and physically. You have been helping me, just yesterday I had three overstuff clothes in bags that I donated , because I just wasn’t wearing them. They were nice clothes but they no longer serve me or feed my soul. Just like you I used shopping as a distraction something to do. And some of these haul videos don’t help I end up buying into their fantasy world when I need to live my own real world. But is you have nothing at all to create, then perhaps you create yourself. -Carl Jung
I also wonder if the people doing the huge hauls are also buying into a fantasy world, or projecting one. Their real world is probably a lot more like ours than we think!
This video was so intuitive and eye opening; thank you for putting into words what I couldn’t describe about myself! I was wondering why no buys don’t work for me, and this video made me more self aware. I just found your channel yesterday but I’m excited to learn from your experience, and hopefully it will help me too. Thank you!
I have so enjoyed your videos. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. I have just started a no-buy quarter- one month into the 3 month period has already shown me a small bit of what you speak of in this video.
Thank you for another great video, I love how introspective you have been and your last to update videos. I felt it was especially honest when you mentioned how you would separate your purchases in order to get more samples. I have found myself doing that too, but why? I hate little things floating around my home, and I end up giving them away. Plus the implications of ordering things and using up resources just to send a package on another day bothers me from an ecological viewpoint.
This really helped me! I can relate to very much of what you are talking about. Thank you for talking about this, I'm sure it's going to help a lot of people.
That 'other quieter thing' calmer & slow rolling.. that happiness thats already & always there.. thats the infinite space (presence) that all the sage's from Mooji to ETolle & Lau Tzu are referring to when we become still, & our antennae for distraction seeking is no longer there.. probably your most enjoyable & moving video yet (for me). You've been an absolute treasure in my life recently during an incredibly difficult time when I do need some distraction (but not a destructive one). Thankyou so much Hannah Louise Poston. How I wish I could have coffee & chat with you lol xx
Hey Hannah! I truly enjoy your videos! This is so reflective and wellworded! I see great potential s for your channel! I think you talk other things, like art, movies, politics, religion and relationship s! I would love to see that!
Your videos are so long and painful. WAIT I'm not saying that the length makes them painful. I'm not saying that watching you is painful. What is painful is facing the reality that I need to simplify my life like you have. The pain comes from my inner self begging me to be better, to do better, to stop sabotaging my mental well-being. Buying makeup that I have seen others talk about on RUclips and Instagram makes me feel connected to the world. You mention National Lipstick Day; I bought two lipsticks at an Ulta that day and it made me feel like I was part of something bigger than my small world as a mother and professional musician. Makeup is my hobby. I have never had a hobby before. In fact, my job is a "hobby" to others. Playing an instrument sounds like a great hobby except for me it's work (work that I absolutely love, but still work). I have never, since becoming a mother, taken time each day to do something for myself. When I sit at my desk and apply my makeup I feel a bit like I am meditating. When I take breaks and watch You Tube videos about makeup I feel excited and motivated to learn more and more about the whole beauty community. BUT I spend too much money on makeup. I need to learn to be content with what I already have. As I continue to learn about products and how to use them (I literally had never worn bronzer or highlight until this calendar year), I hope to be able to naturally slow down my purchases. I have already slowed down considerably, and watching your videos is helping me. I love the longer length of your videos because I can listen while folding laundry. I'm hooked.
Hi Christina! I think of this as "the good hurt," i.e. productive-painful :) I really identify with what you say about how being a working artist can sometimes be lonely. xo!
What a deep and wonderful insight. When I listen to you self reflect, there is a deep part of me that resonates, and knows this. It's so liberating to remove the distractions and get to the contentment and peace underneath that's so simple and so powerful.
Love your channel. I can't believe you don't have tens of thousands of subscribers. You're so articulate. How long have you been making videos? I'm a shopping addict and makeup is a huge category I have problems with. I'll keep watching! Thanks.
God Hannah, this video was absolutely wonderful! I found myself in so much of what you said - the love of beauty, of art, trying to make that beauty part of me and me part of it, just...you were so eloquent and you put something that I've felt for so long into words so clearly. Thank you!
You might not think you perfectly described it but you did. I’m constantly on the hunt for whatever. I have to set a timer if I go to the mall, and I try to make the majority of that time going to Apple so I can back up my phone bec they have crazy fast WiFi.
As long as I don't "snooze" or whatever, it works really well. I often have to get in and out anyway because my husband and I share one care (a bone of contention for me) so I need to be home by a specific time so he can leave.
I feel the same susceptibility from advertisers- even Beauty Tubers- to purchase, purchase, purchase. I do feel that my shopping impulses have waned as yours have, and I replace the high of shopping or even looking , with the high of grit and tenacity to look the other way or not even look!
I can completely identify with what you're saying. The psychological term you're looking for is compulsion. And the treatment is a cognitive behavioral therapy in which you inhibit the actions that are supplementary to deal with the anxiety or the feelings that we are unsatisfied and don't want to deal with. I really don't comment in anybody's videos. But you mentioned it's and I just wanted you to know what it was. Keep up the great work!
Your worths are so right,that’s exactly how our minds work,you can only change those habbits,when you know why you want to buy so much.For me it was a little easier to start my no buy,because i got ill,i got eds,a soft tissue dissease,and one day i get walking to my bed and the next morning i couldn’t walk anymore.My joints and muscles were so ill that i need to lay flat in my bed for 22hours a day,i am only able to sit 15minutes in my wheelchair,several times a day,That’s how my no buy started.I missed it a little in the beginning but because my body is so ill i am not able to shop anymore.My love for make up has grown since than because when i look better,i feel a little better,and putting on my make-up is a thing i can do while i am laying in bed,and i take brakes between my make-up ritual.But when I had stayed healthy I know that it would be so hard to do my no buy❤️.
I'm so sorry to hear about your illness! My boyfriend was in bed for several months last year because of a back injury. I know how incredibly difficult it must be. I'm glad you're back to being able to play with your makeup again!
This also applies to people who are serial cheaters. Stop the behavior. The focus changes and then you see all the wasted time and confusion going from fling to fling. So many applications. So true!
So much of this resonated. Particularly when I was single, I would often find myself wandering the shopping centre (mall) on a Friday night, just trying to find "something" to distract me from my boredom/dissatisfaction/alone-ness, or whatever, to make me feel better/more/other. I have become more content over time as I have realised more and more that having more doesn't change these feelings and as I have allowed other things to enter and fill my life. Thank you Hannah for your openness and honesty in this journey.
Wow! What an incredibly powerful check in, Hannah! I completely relate to what you discussed. I've just ordered the Robert Lustig book from the library, thank you. There is knowledge about changing the behaviour first; check out Dr George Simon. You're amazing, Hannah xoxo
Honestly I’ve expanded my vocabulary quite a lot since watching your videos! I have to be googling new words and expressions more often than I’ve ever done with any other beauty related RUclips video! Now, a word I couldn’t get is st 7:02 “a brain that’s absolutely ?” You are so smart and your way of thinking is so inspiring!!
A few times I've actually gone. I go and I don't buy anything :) If it's with friends I consider it time well spent, because we're hanging out and talking. They understand my no-buy and would never encourage me to buy anything. What I used to do is go to the mall for 6 hours alone, yikes!
Hello beloved friends, I didn't realize when I was filming this that the Room Project donation drive is ENDING today at 3pm EST! If you missed it, you can still donate by going to the Room Project website (www.roomproject.org/) and clicking on "SUPPORT ROOM PROJECT" under the picture. Thank you so much for watching and for all of your sweet comments! xoxoxo
EXCELLENT video Hannah. I’ve watched so many no buy and low buy videos and I’ve never heard someone be able to dissect their own behavior and discuss research the way you did here. You brought up concepts I hadn’t considered. I do hope you consider writing a piece about your no buy year after it is over.
Thanks, Heather! I'd love to write something about this, I will definitely think about it :)
Hobby out of beauty vs hobby out of shopping is 100% SPOT ON.
yes! I feel more connected to my makeup now that I'm not buying it.
your update was brilliant, i've really enjoyed these types of videos from you. it reminded me of this quote it's from mindfulness in plain english by henepola gunaratana:
"'Discipline' is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up-restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain-just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.”
LOVE IT! Thank you for sharing this!
This is such a wonderful quote I'm going to write it down. Thank you! xx
Wow!
What you speak of is based on psychology. I can't remember what it's called. It's something like change your thoughts, you end up changing the behavior, change your behavior you end up changing your thoughts. I actually learned about it when I was in rehab about 6 years ago. It stuck with me for awhile because it totally makes sense. This video is extremely helpful Hannah.
Just as I suspected! I bet that actual addiction theory has a lot to say about this. I will see if I can find a book or an expert, learn more and report back. Thanks for your input, Angela! xoxo
this approach is called cognitive behavioral therapy, if I'm not mistaken. I remember doing a CBT workbook a few years back when I was depressed.
Wow! It is so generous and kind of you to share these deeply personal reflections - thank you. The idea of constantly searching for something to buy to create your 'fantasy self' is certainly something that resonates with me, and something that I'm striving to be more mindful of in all avenues of my life. I also think that learning, and reading about these ideas around pleasure and satisfaction is a really interesting way to curb impulse spending and have more mindful purchases. xox
I agree, the more I read and learn about it, the easier it is to catch myself in the act!
Woah, this got pretty deep for a moment. I can completely relate, and I think a lot others can do too. Thank you for sharing
*ditto* Jo.. what an amazing video got me teared up.
Up until age 37, I would wash my face day and night and use SPF in the morning. I literally had two skin care products. I am now 41, platinum at Ulta and have spent an embarrassing amount of money in 4 years on skin care and cosmetics. While I am financially sound, I still know that something has to give. Happiness vs. pleasure is something I struggled with especially as I approached my 40's. And, yes, I have a sugar issue as well (just check my avatar). Thank you for the candid, cogent, and honest conversation. I subscribed to you last night. Looking forward to following your no-buy year.
Hi Yen, I'm so happy that you stumbled on my channel, thank you for subscribing! Needing to save more money was a huge motivator for me, but I've read comments of SO many people for whom money isn't a constraint but they still feel deeply troubled by overspending on cosmetics and feel the need to make change. That's so telling to me. And the dramatic shift in my inner life during my no-buy, which has nothing to do with money, has also been revealing. Thanks for commenting! xoxo
Last time I ate something with sugar was over 5-6 years ago. The feeling that I eat just the foods I need (proteins, veggies, healthy fats, oats, very rarely fruits or 85-90% chocolate) is the best feeling in the world :) I don't think I could do anything better for my body than stop eating sugar. As a nice, extra bonus I stopped eating white flour because my body did not want to eat it anymore (it can raise blood sugar in the similar/the same way as sugar). Thank you for another good video and I wish a happy day for everyone out there
I'm basically the same! I still eat it once in a while, but I'm grain-free for the same reasons as you with flour, also rarely eat fruit, and I've never felt better. It's such a good parallel with the dopamine vs. serotonin thing. Without the sugar rush, my body has developed a constant state of well-being.
I DO know what you mean... and I feel like when we slip from appreciating beauty everywhere to that non-stop-shop state of mind, we may appreciate what's around us less-- it has to be the next thing, or we don't enjoy it fully. For myself, when I slipped into that for a while, I found myself creating less, which was horrible. & As you talk about Nordstrom Rack, I'm thinking how your new sense of reveling in your curated collection has in fact helped you reconnect with what you have. This kind of thing is why I used to love taking out, inspecting, cleaning up, and changing over my whole makeup collection every season, and it kept me grounded, knowing (and loving) what I had. Then that collection grew too big to do that in one day, and after a few seasons of that, I had more makeup that I was using less...
Yes, I've always been kind of a shopping addict, but the shift with makeup came almost overnight at the end of 2016, driven by a combination of sadness after the election and a major uptick in my RUclips consumption. I think my collection grew more than 10x its size in 2017!
Thank you for sharing! You articulate complex thoughts and feelings so well it's a pleasure to listen to you. Opening up isn't easy, but this awareness journey you are sharing is helping me and other a lot, so thank you again!
You should absolutely write about this no buy year in an essay/ self help book or anything :)
Thanks, Alexandra! xo!
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head regarding what you said in this video, thank you so very much for sharing. This is a conversation I need to have /am having with myself.
There is a quote by max planck, one of the fathers of Physics that goes this way, and I think encapsulates what you’re talking about regarding changing the behavior alters the root cause:
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It’s such a simple but elegant concept, really, because at the end of the day how we treat makeup and our habits regarding to makeup and shopping (and therefore all the things we make orbit around them) are a matter of perception. Once we actively change the habit that causes us displeasure, it turns out the displeasure disappears, and we can look at life through a different lens.
LOVE IT! Thank you.
I absolutely love these check-in videos! Love how you kind of think of yourself as a character in a novel or short story so that that other side of yourself as the narrator can reflect on the character's thoughts and behavior.
Hah, that's such an amazing way to describe it! I never thought of that. Thanks, Patsy!
I appreciate your honesty and insights in this excellent video, Hannah. I think that purchasing the “perfect” item can be part of a fruitless project of “perfecting” ourselves. I am a minimalist, but continually struggle with wanting to buy the “perfect” thing, which I justify by noting that I have so few things that I “deserve” the “perfect” version of that thing. Hearing you speak about your no-buy experiences is really motivating. Thank you for your videos!
that's so interesting, it's not always about thinking you need more, but also about needing to find the perfect thing even if you are already at peace with having less. Thanks for sharing!
You continue to be inspiring...such a thoughtful video, somehow not what I expect from RUclips. p.s. I made it through No Buy July! I am toying with the idea of No Buy August because this is the first time in years that I haven't constantly worried that I maybe spent too much and might be in trouble with the bills. Such a relief.
CONGRATS on your no-buy July! The relief is amazing, I know how you feel :)
Hannah, thank you so much for this video. We are so similar with our shopping and sugar struggles. The battle for me is exhausting but seeing this video is motivating and uplifting. You're incredible, thank you for what you do. Sending all the love and positive vibes! 🤗❤️
sending the same back to you, Adriana! xo!
I have been on an unofficial no buy for a lot of the year and turned it official a couple of months back. I have noticed so many of the different changes you speak of and I’ve become acutely aware of the marketing ploys used by companies and that I was allowing my love of makeup and beauty to fuel a shopping issue. I wouldn’t say it’s an addiction for me because I’ve not found it hugely difficult to give up - more of a habit that was broken after a couple of weeks of staying out of shops. I don’t like a lot of these companies’ social media posts that glamourise and romanticise shopping addiction and I was previously immune to those when I was still buying but now they kind of make me feel really uneasy when i see them. Great video!
Agreed! I was always pretty aware of marketing ploys (or so I thought) but now they make me roll my eyes SO hard. I'm surprised at the extent of my perspective shift.
Your theory on fixing the act of the behavior and in turn fixes the core root to the behavior is super cool to hear. My work with a variety of individuals and trying to work on the core does not always work. What would work is to help the individual where they want help. “meet them where they’re at.” This is super cool that you are addressing your personal concerns head on and having reflective thoughts along the way. Your bravery is remarkable and truly inspiring.
Your videos are like my audio books 📚 😀 and I am enjoying each chapter. I love audio books but haven’t committed to another book since I finished my last one. Listening to your videos is fitting to what my current journey and goals are.
I can’t say it enough but thank you so much. I definitely want to support you and to keep your channel alive and when I finally can contribute to your donating site, I definitely will. 😀😀🙏🏼🤗😀😊🙏🏼 thank you 🙏🏼 😊💕
Oh my goodness🙏 I have been listening to your monthly check in’s over the last few days and we are kindred spirits. Thank you for thinking to post your journey about this “No Buy” topic! I have just unsubscribed from all my shopping emails that I receive and was listening to you talk about Beauty…not the beauty industry, but what is more like (in my mind) Muse of Beauty or great goddess of Beauty whose graceful touch inspires humanity to strive to some of our highest ideals…to love, to appreciate, to be present…to inspire with the Beauty that speaks to our very Soul. Beauty is one of the few things that can actually cut through ALL the layers of psychological and emotional walls we put up around ourselves. It’s why sick patients recover better in a room with a window overlooking Nature. (I’m writing this from a treadmill 😅) so I apologize! But just needed to say YES to what you’re saying as well say you’d probably love Terence McKenna’s thoughts on beauty and Henry David Thoreau’s thoughts on fashion! You are a Beautiful inspiration for us all and thank you ✨
So your video is just what I needed today. Its my birthday and I got an ulta coupon in the mail and was like you said searching for what I could buy. Of course I already know I don't want anything but was trying to talk myself into something. So I have given myself permission to let the coupon expire and that's just fine😀. Thank you again and have a great weekend!!
Happy birthday, and congrats on the meaningful, powerful decision to let the coupon expire! That's actually a really big deal, I think. Amazing work and thanks for sharing. xoxox
Four years late to the party but something you said really struck me. The bit about changing the behavior first instead of addressing the original problem is exactly how treating restrictive eating disorders goes. It is much more effective most of the time to stop the behavioral cycle than to try to disentangle the morass that drives it.
I’ve watched most of these check-ins already but I’m rewatching some to steel myself for an upcoming no buy period so thank you ❤
Working my way through your check ins and this one is SO good and kind of mind-blowing. "Spending more time in the identity I already have", "that clear-headedness is a kind of happiness" ...yes to this!
thank you Charlotte!
From what I know of cognitive behavioral therapy emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are a circular whole. If you change one, you change the other 2. So what you are saying makes perfect sense. I did no buy July. I bought 3 small things for myself all month for less than $20. I don’t feel deprived, and I am not rushing to buy things now that July is over. Thanks for your videos, Hannah.
Hi Lara! The "circular whole" thing makes a lot of sense. Thanks!
Your dress is art. I love art and find it in clothes, fabrics, pictures, jewelry , pottery, furniture , etc. I get it. I now shop out of my own attic, basement etc. When you get older you realize that retirement is coming and these things has caused me to continue working. I tell young people I wished I would have figured it out sooner.
I know this video is a year old, but I only recently found your channel and I just wanted to tell you that I think most people can relate to using material things to establish an identity. I know I have times where I'd go buy new clothes because I wanted to emulate the style of someone I admired and I thought if I could just have the perfect wardrobe, makeup, hairstyle, car, house, etc. I could feel content. No matter how much I bought there was always something else. I can totally relate to looking for something to want. I have started a no buy August 2019 and I hope to continue on after the month is over. It was very brave of you to take on a whole year and put it out there on RUclips. By the way, you are perfect just as you are. You are classy, clearly very intelligent and articulate and I just thoroughly enjoy listening to your analysis of your shopping behaviors. It is helping me tremendously. Keep up the great work!
YES!!! It’s called Cognitive Dissonance - you cannot think one thing and act another thing or the reverse - and behavior will ALWAYS prevail in changing thinking. There is actual science in the ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ adage. I’m sure you’ve learned all this since this video - I got excited 😆
Your vulnerability and tears at 13.20 onwards really got to me and I felt myself welling up with you. I've never heard it put better than you have here.
I love this. It hits close to my heart. Please continue these discussions. So glad I found your channel!!
thanks!
Just such a great video. I feel like you explain things and it just hits home in so many ways. I think you are really helping so many of us. ..and you look extra beautiful in this video too.
Thanks, Rachel! I'm so glad this is useful, I appreciate the feedback. Sometimes I just feel like a silly lady talking to a camera :)
Wow! You are on a real roll with uploading this week! On the topic of love of beauty, I totally get what you mean. I think you said it very well in one of your previous videos when you said something like, "you can't own color." I don't really have a shopping problem per se (except when it comes to lipstick) but I am trying to live more minimally. So when I was looking at new and interesting makeup products the other day and started to feel compelled to make a purchase, I realized that it's not the prospect of owning the makeup that excited me, it was the colors. I stopped to consider how many times I would actually end up putting those colors on my face. As you may have guessed, I didn't buy anything that day.
Wow, thanks for sharing this! I had kind of forgotten I said that, and it totally makes sense in the concept of this video. So glad that concept has been useful. xo!
Beautiful clarity. I’m aware when I start to lose perspective and claw my way back. Often, if I start consuming more, it’s to distract me from listening to my gut because I need to make a change in my life and I’m actively avoiding it. I’m getting better at redirecting my energies. Self awareness is such a powerful component to leading a happy life. Lovely, well-considered content. 🙏
I totally agree! We love to distract ourselves by buying things. I've gone through a lot of radical changes this year unrelated to spending, and I think it's because bringing a halt to my habit brought all of the things I had been ignoring into the light.
I am feeling this SO SO MUCH!! Since I saw your video on how your no-buy changed your life which I found through Christina Mychas (former StyleApotheca), I was sure that I wanted to do a now buy year. I watched every check in video from January on to this one, but this is my revelation. I am sick and tired of this constant strive towards the seemingly perfect state of my flat, wardrobe, skincare etc. ... THIS is the ultimate reason for me to start the no-buy year. THANK YOU so much :) best regards
I have recently come across your channel through Angelica Nyqvist (woohoo!) and have been listening/watching your no buy playlist, but especially these monthly check ins. I’ve done it in reverse where i did a budget year this year for buying all stuff, and i am currently considering a no buy year next year. so many of what you mention about obsessing over buying the next thing is what i realised to be a form of escapism for me, and that we eventually all need to look inwards. Thank you for being so honest and raw, it is brave and beautiful. Your channel is so refreshing!
Another great video! I did know what you mean but I love that you put in so much effort to articulate it anyway. Your description of yourself as someone who loves beauty and how that love gets warped by consumerism was spot on. I am definitely going to check out that book!
My no buy (15 May-15 August) was a struggle this month. I went to India for work, and as I’d already stated in my rules I allowed myself to buy one pashmina scarf. I love the one I chose, but I also really struggled to stop myself from buying more, especially home wares (which I really would have loved and gotten good use from). I found myself angry at my previous self for not setting the no-buy end before my trip. But I held out and now I’m glad. I’ve been thinking I might try to do a full no buy year in 2019 (or maybe Nov 2018-Oct 2019 or something) because I do think I need more time to reset my brain and my habits in the way you’ve talked about in this and other videos.
Sorry for the ramble, and thanks again for another excellent and thoughtful video.
Wow, thanks for sharing your experience, and it sounds like you did a truly heroic job of sticking to your no-buy in India. It takes a lot of discipline to just pick one thing to buy in a setting like that, and it's amazing to hear that you were regretful at the time but that you are now glad that you only brought home one special item.
I can really relate to what you're saying. It's like abstaining from drugs and/or alcohol...when one abstains from the problem substance, the internal work can begin and one hopefully changes. I don't want to equate any of our love of shopping to substance abuse; there are some parallels, though 🙂.
Hi Christine! I actually think there are tons of parallels. I know that some substances can be far more dangerous, so the experiences aren't equal, but much of what's going on in "the root" that I talk about (and the stuff Lustig talks about in his book) is so similar. I'm going to do some more research about it!
Mood follows action!! Rich Roll talks a lot about this and he has a rich vocabulary too. Your videos are really helping me. 💜
High five for library usage!🖐
I just finished up The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I feel like the book your reading would be a great one for me to grab now. It's TRUE, I've noticed how it i change my actions my thoughts start to follow suit these days; I've been appreciating things I have and getting rid of what I dont fully love and it's taken a huge weight off my shoulders. This was a lovely video Hannah, well done.💖
going to the library is one of my FAVORITE things (especially since I'm not allowed to buy books!) I hope you do read the book, we can read it together!
Yes, on the searching for something to buy! I used to look on Buzzfeed articles titled "12 things popular on Amazon right now" and such, just to find things to buy! Mostly out of that mindset now, thankfully. It got really bad last year with a really stressful time period (grad school, dealing with the landlord and strata from hell that made my living situation unbearable, serious family illness, etc.) and now I'm trying to reach out to friends more and spend money on experiences when things are overwhelming instead of just getting 'good feelings' from buying things. I'm hoping it will start working- although a few of the things that have driven me to stress-buy will be ending soon (grad school is done mid way this month, and moving out of this place soon) so we'll see if it really was stress related or if I'll still have that drive to buy.
I think sometimes stress can trigger it but then it can be really hard to stop clinging to the habit even after the stress level goes down. That's what happened to me. But knowing what you are doing and why, and being able to catch yourself in the act, is a large part of the battle.
I made it through July! I’m so excited. I found that instead of watching RUclips and buying make up. I’ve been listening to audio books and training for a half marathon. I realized that when I stopped running, I started shopping. So I would rather spend my money on a race entries and train vs buying make up. I’m going on a continued no buy for August!
WOO HOO! That sounds so amazing! Congratulations on your awesome month. xo!
You are so relatable and satisfying.. I honestly have been enjoying what I already have and I've become more content with what I already own and who I already am. And... I've not allowed my want surpass what I need..
Thanks, Stacey! So glad to hear.
This is such a thought provoking video. Thank you 🙏
thank you for watching!
I think what you said here is so interesting - that changing a behaviour in itself healed the psychological difficulty. More truly I think you healed yourself through the thought you brought to everything. This is an inspiring piece of work.
Oh, Hannah, I think this is my favorite video that you have created. Your vulnerability is so evident and causes me to feel even more connected. I am a (currently) non-writing writer...don’t really have a shopping addiction but have found ways to distract myself from what I need to be doing in the world. Thank you for your bravery in communicating your very important perspectives. I am a California transplant living in Raleigh, North Carolina. I love hearing the “y’alls” as the second person plural is sadly lacking in mainstream English (but present in Spanish, which is my native language.) Much love and peace to you.
"Losing days and days and days of my precious life in the service of that obsession." I love your words and thoughts! They are so well said and powerful. I've also been de-cluttering my entire house. Only keeping what I love, no more duplicates to clutter things up. Thanks for the quick mention of the book. I'd like to read it and looking forward to hearing your thoughts about it!
It’s wonderful that as each month goes by, you can see the changes in your way of thinking and behavior from the start, and reflect on then and now! I have seen positive changes in myself with my own journey and I am happy with where I am at and the path that I am on!
Hannah, this video absolutely crystallized for me the behaviour I was looking to change in 2019. I had been going into January 2019 on a no-buy with the thought of possibly turning it into a year long no-buy. I had mixed feelings about it as I could shop and shop and shop all day but never had to buy anything and had minimized my home and knew I didn't really want to bring a bunch more stuff in. However, that was just the thing. All my free time was used up window shopping in stores and scrolling through etsy. It has become a very obsessive and unending behaviour. I am absolutely going to do a no-buy year now. This is a bad habit that I understand needs to be addressed now thanks to this video. Your channel is lovely and I'm so happy I found it. I've been voraciously consuming all its content. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing your experiences and thoughts.
Hi Hannah, that's a wonderful video, your honesty is so refreshing! You speak of many things I can relate to and I will look into the book of Robert Lustig too. I believe, the steps you are taking now, are actually creating true beauty from inside and will manifest as that beauty in your life. That's so much more than another lipstick or dress. We all probably are under effect of the pleasure buttons and those can be pressed in many different ways....keep on going! Best wishes
Aw, hi Esther! Thanks for watching! Sending a big hug. xoxo
I'm a little late to join the conversation here, but thank you for this brilliant, insightful video presented in your eloquent, calm, and personal way - such a pleasure to watch and listen to, and well thought through! Love it!
thank you!!!
I love your honesty. People usually like to lie to themselves that their reasons are different that really are 😉
Deep in my heart I'm a minimalist 😝
But seriously, I have two so much different reasons behind my buying habits. One - I like minimal, eco, natural products and style. I'm against wasting. And two - I'm so tempted by the beauty community! I want to be fresh, bright, colourful and on trends.
I'm constantly beetween this two "fantasy me".
I think the first step is being able to see yourself and understand that it's happening, so you can make clearer choices! It sounds like you're well on your way.
I feel like I'm on my way for so long now and didn't go to the right point. I need to do some new steps.
I'm torn because I can't watch beauty channels without a feeling that I don't have enough. But I like to watch it. I consider channels like yours "safe" for me. If a creator is going from a point "you don't need it" it's easier because I don't have to tell it by myself 😉
I don't know yet what I should do with some of channels which I like but watching leads me to make a sin 😛
Hannah - Really enjoying your channel! The content is incredibly insightful, and you have a really eloquent way of discussing it. Thank you for sharing this experience!
Thanks, Katelyn! xo!
This was an awesome video! I am rewatching it! Soooo checking out that book.
Thanks! We can read it together :)
Thank you so much for this video. I have a better understanding of my inner workings now. A complex analysis, explained so so well.
Thanks!
Very well said!! You articulated it all so well. Much to think about. Thank you!!!
Thanks!
Wow Hannah! It feels like you are talking about me. Always looking for something to buy and wanting things to create the perfect version of myself. Your words really resonated with me this time, thank you so much for sharing!
I’ve only been on a nobuy for a month, but I have not bought one single beauty/skincare item and I am already feeling some positive changes in my mindset.
I'm so glad this is resonant, and congrats on your no-buy! xo!
Oh my gosh. This makes a difference for me!!🙏 I love art and beauty!
Hi Hannah, I have just started my No Buy (half) Year and found you because of Hailey (I hope I spelled her name right...). And I need to tell you that THIS is the best video I have ever watched on this topic!!! You put into words what I was feeling but couldn‘t really describe to others- that it’s not just about the things themselves, not just about the momentarily pleasure of having a shiny new toy, but the need for (re-)defining my self, the strive to find that one item that would represent what I see myself as etc. Thank you so much for sharing and your honesty, it is painful and revealing and healing.❤️
thank you!!
You have so beautifully touched on supremely important albeit hidden, psychological motivations behind shopping so many of us battle. So much truth here, and quiet, calm, peaceful heartfelt moments of awareness leading to the joy via appreciation of what we already have can be life changing. You are such a blessing to many, Hannah! Thank you for sharing so much with us.
thank you!!!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Excellent! I plan to read that book you mentioned soon! I have to continue telling you that you are SO inspiring/motivating in this journey of breaking the vicious cycle. The struggle of need vs want and pleasure vs happiness is real.
the struggle is so real! I think it's possibly the central struggle of our time, and in some ways it's intensified in the lives of women.
i needed to hear this. i have a shopping problem and know its a mask for emptiness. your vulnerability is humbling and i will start a nobuy as well because this has to stop.
Best of luck with your no-buy, it is a journey and being able to even just type the words saying that you have a problem is a huge step. thanks for your comment, big hugs xoxoxo
I absolutely LOVE these videos where you discuss things like root causes and desire and compulsion...so insightful and helpful!!! Epiphanies abound and I couldn't be happier😊
Thank you for this very interesting video, you have resumed my thoughts about my habits of shopping ... your videos are very useful ! have a nice day Hannah !
Thanks! I'm so glad it's been useful! xoxo
My sister was in LA this week, and I took her around. We went shopping in Sawtelle and Thousand Oaks. I was able to successfully take her around without succumbing to mindless shopping - something I could not have done a year ago. I think it’s something that we as women tend to do in groups - maybe our ancient hunter/gatherer ways surface at Nordstrom Rack! I always relate to your videos so much. I’ll check out the book recommendation too - because sugar used to be my other pleasure hit. It’s sinister!
Omg, good job resisting! Congrats, Paulette!
hannah ive just found you and been watching you for the past couple of days. youre amazing. your year long series is so inspirational. i love listening to you !!! i am also currently on a year long no buy of make up but i have bought a handful of things by accident .. cos they were not that exy, my favourites, as well as on sale! so i thought i needed backups.. obviously thats my downfall. but my thought patterns with buying have changed now after doing this (even though i succumbed a few times). i realise i just don need it and more importantly i live just fine (and am happy) with what i have already. just wanted to say youre so articulate and love hearing to talk. keep up the amazing work! :)
Hi Jenny, thanks so much for watching! I'm glad you are feeling those thought patterns change, that is what really matters as far as I'm concerned. Thanks for commenting! xo!
The search for perfect representation of inner identity so resonated with me. I recently took the Enneagram test and scored highest as a 4. Fours are preoccupied with being unique and ultimate truth, especially within themselves, as well as the love of beauty, art, and the preoccupation with the power of space. I totally relate to the idea of searching for just the right dish set, or hair style, or lipstick color, that will represent who I am as a person. The problem, of course, is that we are infinitely complex as human beings, and nothing will ever be able to capture that essence. If I don't personally come to grips with that, I'll never be able to get my never-ending quest for the "perfect" things under control.
Thanks for articulating this so well.
As I reread my comment, the "preoccupation with space" didn't translate very well. By that, I mean that certain people are more affected and conscious of the "vibe" or feeling of a room or space. I notice major differences in my mood and well-being when I am surrounded by plants, trees, greens, and the sounds of water.
I'm a 4, too (if you couldn't tell, hah!) I've made a serious study of the enneagram, and it has really helped me. I love the idea of trying to become less trapped by the personality. The more aware I am of how my 4 personality wants to behave (its knee-jerk reactions), the more capable I am of catching myself in the act and not letting those instincts run (ruin?) my life. I learned that what "feels" right and necessary is often just my unreasonable personality making demands. With your space example: I used to be unable to function in my space if it wasn't 100% perfect. But over time I've become more relaxed about it and less convinced that my identity is defined by my space. It feels like becoming more "normal," which the 4 personality hates, because we are so attached to being unique. But for us it is a move towards health.
You’ve given me so much to think about. Too often I let myself be paralyzed and victimized by less than perfect circumstances. Any books or resources in particular that were helpful to you in your study of the Enneagram?
yes! "The Wisdom of the Enneagram" by Riso & Hudson is my holy grail enneagram book, to use the beauty community language :) Their chapter about the 4 type genuinely changed my life. I go back and read it frequently when I'm feeling lost or gripped by my old behaviors. They don't suggest that you habitually type other people (the ennagram is more intended as a tool for self-reflection) but when I'm really struggling with a super difficult personality in my life, I'll often try to figure out that person's type and then read the Riso & Hudson chapter about it. It can really help to develop empathy, because it helps me see that the person's personality is acting out according to type, and that in many ways they can't help it, they're just on a runaway train of their personality.
Hannah Louise Poston I will definitely check it out.
Love the video! I also love lustig’s discussion of sugar. Very relevant I think.
I agree, relevant and so powerful! I can't wait to read the rest of the book.
You nailed it Hannah. Keep up the self discovery and excavate the life you want that don’t require so much stuff that get in our way mentally and physically. You have been helping me, just yesterday I had three overstuff clothes in bags that I donated , because I just wasn’t wearing them. They were nice clothes but they no longer serve me or feed my soul. Just like you I used shopping as a distraction something to do. And some of these haul videos don’t help I end up buying into their fantasy world when I need to live my own real world. But is you have nothing at all to create, then perhaps you create yourself. -Carl Jung
I also wonder if the people doing the huge hauls are also buying into a fantasy world, or projecting one. Their real world is probably a lot more like ours than we think!
I love Carl Jung!
This video was so intuitive and eye opening; thank you for putting into words what I couldn’t describe about myself! I was wondering why no buys don’t work for me, and this video made me more self aware. I just found your channel yesterday but I’m excited to learn from your experience, and hopefully it will help me too. Thank you!
Hi Shawne! Thanks for your comment, I'm so glad this was helpful! xoxo
I have so enjoyed your videos. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. I have just started a no-buy quarter- one month into the 3 month period has already shown me a small bit of what you speak of in this video.
Congrats on your no-buy! I can't believe how transformative it's been. xoxo
You're speaking straight to my soul, Hannah. So glad I found your channel.
Thank you for another great video, I love how introspective you have been and your last to update videos. I felt it was especially honest when you mentioned how you would separate your purchases in order to get more samples. I have found myself doing that too, but why? I hate little things floating around my home, and I end up giving them away. Plus the implications of ordering things and using up resources just to send a package on another day bothers me from an ecological viewpoint.
yes, me too! I had to get to the point where I physically did not want any more samples entering my home before I stopped that wasteful behavior :(
This really helped me! I can relate to very much of what you are talking about. Thank you for talking about this, I'm sure it's going to help a lot of people.
Thanks, Annie! xo
That 'other quieter thing' calmer & slow rolling.. that happiness thats already & always there.. thats the infinite space (presence) that all the sage's from Mooji to ETolle & Lau Tzu are referring to when we become still, & our antennae for distraction seeking is no longer there.. probably your most enjoyable & moving video yet (for me). You've been an absolute treasure in my life recently during an incredibly difficult time when I do need some distraction (but not a destructive one). Thankyou so much Hannah Louise Poston. How I wish I could have coffee & chat with you lol xx
Thanks for this comment, Melissa! I'm sorry things have been tough but I'm glad I can help in some small way :) Sending a big hug!
awwww.. awesome : )
Hey Hannah! I truly enjoy your videos! This is so reflective and wellworded! I see great potential s for your channel! I think you talk other things, like art, movies, politics, religion and relationship s! I would love to see that!
Aw, thanks! I do plan to branch out a little bit in 2019, not too far from the core of the channel, but it's nice to know that you are here for it :)
Your videos are so long and painful. WAIT I'm not saying that the length makes them painful. I'm not saying that watching you is painful. What is painful is facing the reality that I need to simplify my life like you have. The pain comes from my inner self begging me to be better, to do better, to stop sabotaging my mental well-being. Buying makeup that I have seen others talk about on RUclips and Instagram makes me feel connected to the world. You mention National Lipstick Day; I bought two lipsticks at an Ulta that day and it made me feel like I was part of something bigger than my small world as a mother and professional musician. Makeup is my hobby. I have never had a hobby before. In fact, my job is a "hobby" to others. Playing an instrument sounds like a great hobby except for me it's work (work that I absolutely love, but still work). I have never, since becoming a mother, taken time each day to do something for myself. When I sit at my desk and apply my makeup I feel a bit like I am meditating. When I take breaks and watch You Tube videos about makeup I feel excited and motivated to learn more and more about the whole beauty community. BUT I spend too much money on makeup. I need to learn to be content with what I already have. As I continue to learn about products and how to use them (I literally had never worn bronzer or highlight until this calendar year), I hope to be able to naturally slow down my purchases. I have already slowed down considerably, and watching your videos is helping me. I love the longer length of your videos because I can listen while folding laundry. I'm hooked.
Hi Christina! I think of this as "the good hurt," i.e. productive-painful :) I really identify with what you say about how being a working artist can sometimes be lonely. xo!
What a deep and wonderful insight. When I listen to you self reflect, there is a deep part of me that resonates, and knows this. It's so liberating to remove the distractions and get to the contentment and peace underneath that's so simple and so powerful.
Love your channel. I can't believe you don't have tens of thousands of subscribers. You're so articulate. How long have you been making videos? I'm a shopping addict and makeup is a huge category I have problems with. I'll keep watching! Thanks.
Hi Angela! I started my channel in the middle of January, so it's only been about six months. Thanks for watching and commenting!
Im meditating and praying in order to get that peace within me.
God Hannah, this video was absolutely wonderful! I found myself in so much of what you said - the love of beauty, of art, trying to make that beauty part of me and me part of it, just...you were so eloquent and you put something that I've felt for so long into words so clearly. Thank you!
Thank you! I'm so glad it was useful and that I'm not the only one!
I know exactly what you mean about wanting something to want, I think I was just never able to put it into words like you did.
it helps to be able to identify the feeling!
I like it when you post these thoughtful videos
:)
You might not think you perfectly described it but you did. I’m constantly on the hunt for whatever. I have to set a timer if I go to the mall, and I try to make the majority of that time going to Apple so I can back up my phone bec they have crazy fast WiFi.
Setting a timer for going to the mall is an amazing idea.
As long as I don't "snooze" or whatever, it works really well. I often have to get in and out anyway because my husband and I share one care (a bone of contention for me) so I need to be home by a specific time so he can leave.
Also I just requested that book, and I am watching a BBC thing called "The Men Who Made Us Spend"
Gosh I love your accent and voice so much
:)
Hannah, you’re doing so great. Keep it up.
Thanks for the support!
This is seriously one of your best videos. Thank you so much :)
thank you for watching!
I feel the same susceptibility from advertisers- even Beauty Tubers- to purchase, purchase, purchase. I do feel that my shopping impulses have waned as yours have, and I replace the high of shopping or even looking , with the high of grit and tenacity to look the other way or not even look!
Hah, that's such a good way to say it! Resisting the urge can cause a kind of high. Fantastic!
Thanks for the book recommendation. I am definitely going to check that one out.
we can read it together!
I can completely identify with what you're saying. The psychological term you're looking for is compulsion. And the treatment is a cognitive behavioral therapy in which you inhibit the actions that are supplementary to deal with the anxiety or the feelings that we are unsatisfied and don't want to deal with. I really don't comment in anybody's videos. But you mentioned it's and I just wanted you to know what it was. Keep up the great work!
Ah, so helpful! Thank you!
Your worths are so right,that’s exactly how our minds work,you can only change those habbits,when you know why you want to buy so much.For me it was a little easier to start my no buy,because i got ill,i got eds,a soft tissue dissease,and one day i get walking to my bed and the next morning i couldn’t walk anymore.My joints and muscles were so ill that i need to lay flat in my bed for 22hours a day,i am only able to sit 15minutes in my wheelchair,several times a day,That’s how my no buy started.I missed it a little in the beginning but because my body is so ill i am not able to shop anymore.My love for make up has grown since than because when i look better,i feel a little better,and putting on my make-up is a thing i can do while i am laying in bed,and i take brakes between my make-up ritual.But when I had stayed healthy I know that it would be so hard to do my no buy❤️.
I'm so sorry to hear about your illness! My boyfriend was in bed for several months last year because of a back injury. I know how incredibly difficult it must be. I'm glad you're back to being able to play with your makeup again!
This also applies to people who are serial cheaters. Stop the behavior. The focus changes and then you see all the wasted time and confusion going from fling to fling. So many applications. So true!
Some people have commented that they think the term is cognitive behavioral therapy, or at least that it's a similar idea. Fascinating!
This video really spoke to me on a deep level. Thanks for sharing.
thank you for being here and watching
Oh my goodness, this is a wonderful video. Thank you!
So much of this resonated. Particularly when I was single, I would often find myself wandering the shopping centre (mall) on a Friday night, just trying to find "something" to distract me from my boredom/dissatisfaction/alone-ness, or whatever, to make me feel better/more/other. I have become more content over time as I have realised more and more that having more doesn't change these feelings and as I have allowed other things to enter and fill my life. Thank you Hannah for your openness and honesty in this journey.
Wow! What an incredibly powerful check in, Hannah! I completely relate to what you discussed.
I've just ordered the Robert Lustig book from the library, thank you. There is knowledge about changing the behaviour first; check out Dr George Simon.
You're amazing, Hannah xoxo
Thanks, Cecilia! & thanks for the recommendation, I will check him out!
Thank you for the book recommendation. looks good.
Such an amazing video, gorgeous 💗
thank you
Honestly I’ve expanded my vocabulary quite a lot since watching your videos! I have to be googling new words and expressions more often than I’ve ever done with any other beauty related RUclips video! Now, a word I couldn’t get is st 7:02 “a brain that’s absolutely ?” You are so smart and your way of thinking is so inspiring!!
Addled! It means mixed-up :) I love hearing that my videos are growing your vocabulary, that totally makes my day, Jess. Thank you! xoxox
🤯🤯🤯 you are SO insightful 😘 thank you!
Hello Lovely Lady, I Love your Beauitful top your wearing in this Video...🌻🌻🌻 And Love the Message Too..
I love your videos, and I love you! This is how I feel :)
how do you deal with friends who ask you to come shopping with them?
A few times I've actually gone. I go and I don't buy anything :) If it's with friends I consider it time well spent, because we're hanging out and talking. They understand my no-buy and would never encourage me to buy anything. What I used to do is go to the mall for 6 hours alone, yikes!