How to Actually Overcome Self-Doubt as a Writer
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- Опубликовано: 20 фев 2024
- Do you ever compare your writing to others and feel like you just don't measure up? Does self-doubt ever make you want to throw your manuscript into the trash bin? Are you feeling discouraged because you're not where you want to be in your writing/publishing journey? If so, you’re not alone. These are mental battles that plague writers everywhere… And that’s why, in this episode of the Kate and Abbie Show, we’re not just offering fluffy words of motivation but concrete action steps that you can implement right now to overcome self-doubt for good. Ready to transform your mindset and become an invincible author? Grab a notebook and let’s get into this.
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How do YOU overcome self-doubt as a writer? Comment below and join the discussion!
I replied to Kate’s video (was it a month ago?) how I thought her message was important. Considering this is the same subject, I have to say again “it’s important for people to hear this!”
It’s natural for people to compare themselves to others. I think the best thing is to see people struggle but succeed, which is why stories are so important. and I’ve seen plenty of independent successes on the internet over the past few years, and I think that’s exemplary inspiration.
For me, the first moment I considered this option was showing some fan fiction to one of my high school teacher, who sent me to another English teacher who was more “up my alley” (who would become a future teacher and would publish his own book). He came back to me and said “why are you writing fan fiction? You can make your own story with this!”
Later in college, I had another teacher who taught creative writing to a bunch of animators. My classmates did not like him (go figure), and I found him hard to please, but after the semester he pull me aside and said “if you wanted, you could write.” I was just writing whatever assignment he gave; I didn’t even show him the story I had been working on! Unfortunately, live being the way it is, priorities shift and writing fell to the back burner. Oddly, as bad as things might get, I’m glad for my writing that those things happened. It allowed me to mature and look at my work in a different light, which made me more enthusiastic about it.
Having said that, I’ll now put it out there that one can be inspired by the opposite, as well. A while before I came upon your (Abbie’s) channel, I had a momentary feeling of “I have to do this.” I don’t want to be so negative here and express the exact thought I had, but for hyperbole, read about “Terrain” in the “Art of War,” or if you only have a few minutes, watch a clip of Blithe and Speirs. I still have negative thoughts, but at the end of it, I think “if I don’t, then what?”
I wish I could throw it out there that my friend and I have started a podcast about inspiring people to work on their own projects, but since life happened, we’re now reworking our schedules to make sure we can actually record. I’m HOPING we can get out feet back on the ground, but we’ve been having trouble getting in contact, which was already difficult before, but he’s still determined to put out the podcast, and if he is, then so am I. I hate failing to do something I’ve committed to, which is why I normally don’t, but... you know what, we are going to do it! We’ll get it out soon(tm)!
Here’s a final thought: it’s the Year of the Dragon! While I don’t believe in the zodiacs like my cousin does, and I do think symbols matter. It’s time to make bold for which you might reap grand success! Get working on something you’re passionate about!
If I ever encounter self-doubt, I usualy take a step back and have a little break. I'll have a drink, maybe a snack, look outside the window and sometimes take a walk outside and I'll listen to the music that inspires me and makes me think about my book and character. Then, I'll look back at what I wasn't happy with and maybe change a couple things. I feel much better after having done those steps. :)
Ironically, for me, what finally solved the problem was embracing it and adopting a fatalist approach.
Once I accepted that my work IS going to be bad, and that NOBODY willike or care about it, that meant I could focus on writing for myself, since others will not like it anyway, so there is no reason to worry about being successful, since that won't happen anyway.
Hence there is no burden to achieve the impossible, and the opinion of others doesn't matter since I already know they won't like it, and the drive is writing the story for the sake of the story itself.
When I figure it out, I will let you know.😊 I think winning a Pulitzer Prize probably helps.
Looking back at my old work, actually.
Sometimes it's hard to get out of my own head and comparing myself to others be it writers on my level, more experienced than me, or further back in their writing journey than where I'm at- I still have doubts. I guess because they're just *other* people so ofc we're going to be in different places. And yet comparison to other writers is often what triggers my self doubt.
So when I fall into those pitfalls, I compare my work to, well, *my* work. Going back to what I wrote years ago can really help me. I can see so quickly how much I've grown. I distinctly remember writing things a few years ago and thinking "wow, I don't know if I'll be able to write anything better than this" and now looking back I can see how I'd refine it. Or maybe I go "yep, that was awful, but I know how I'd fix it now". Being my own critic gives me confidence that I've grown and that I can set my ego aside in order to keep moving forward in my writing journey.
If I was too afraid of failure to start, then I never would've gotten as far as I have. Seeing that growth tells me I've been moving forward this whole time and I didn't get stuck. That motivates me to keep swimming 🐠
I just remember that there's a best-selling author who wrote a scene where parents discuss their babies' "huge balls" & then immediately get into a car accident - killing said baby.
There's no way anything I write could ever be worse than that & that will always motivate me.
I never heard of that before, but I have a different motivation. I was in this chat room. This one show I would regularly tuned in for here on you tube, until another member asked me if I talked to the hostess, if not then he tells me to back off & tells me I am smalltime there. For starters it’s not his show & I feel he was rude, offensive & a tad rude towards me. I have decided to stay away from the show now, but only this motivates me to write my book. Who knows? Maybe by writing it, I can be a guest on her show or at least maybe I can motivate somebody else to write their story.
@@MMStrademark I think it's from the book Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover. Colleen Hoover is also my main source of motivation - there is no way in hell will I be worse than her
@@ilovestem12313 I’ve only read one Colleen Hoover book (Verity) and I wasn’t a fan. I am both inspired and discouraged by the fact that people like Colleen Hoover are best-sellers. On one hand, it’s encouraging because I believe that my own writing is better. On the other hand, if that’s what most people like nowadays, then I don’t think that most would appreciate my writing.
THE WAY I IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZE THE BOOK JUST WITH THAT QUOTE LMAO
I can't believe it!!!
I needed this video so much. I'm writing my first book. A story that I love with all my heart. One that I'm often proud of because I've found such a unique and unexplored angle that at first I thought I'd finish it in 3 months tops and it would be a hit.
But I realized I was overconfident. Nothing seemed to come out the way I saw it in my head. And after all these thoughts I started to read ABBIE's book "The Best Christmas Ever" which completely demoralized me.
From the first few seconds I was like: "God, this feels SO REAL!" And I started thinking I'm never going to sound like that. When I went back and read the chapters I had written, I just wanted to cry. They felt flat and robotic and devoid of meaning and substance.
It turns out to be such a miracle to me that it is the very same Abbie who pulls me out of it!
Thank you both so much. You really are amazing people.
Why is this so relatable...
Not surecif this helps, but I write (not published yet) in 1st person. I find I slip more easily into my character's emotions. Simone Leigh is great at that. But it can be confusing if you're using more than on POV. She sets 1 chapters per person. Anyway owhen I go to edit the previous writing I change to third person. Some intensity is lost, but not much.
The positive self-talk is SO true and SO important. I try to have this habit where every morning I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and smile and say "Good morning! I'm gonna have such a good day today!" This is a tip I got from a very successful (and eccentric in a very good way) businessman who has his own brand of beauty products. He was asked in an interview why he's always so happy and has so much self-confidence. He said he does this EVERY morning.
Before this, I used to just get up and not smile at myself in the mornings. I looked in the mirror and just had that tired, messy hair, droopy eyed just-got-out-bed-bitch-death-glare, and of course looking at that face is not going to be a nice way to start to a day. Especially not seeing it first thing in the morning every single day. So I began by just smiling at myself. It felt awkward and VERY silly, but it became natural after a while. Then I started the tiny pep-talk in front of the mirror too, and of course I felt even more silly, but this is the incredible part: it worked! I actually started noticing way more good days than bad or meh days. I became a lot happier in general, and I think I became a slightly better person. Way more productive, too! Now I always make sure to smile at myself in the mirror every time - not only in the mornings, but especially in the mornings. The beauty king was completely right!
Thank you so much. You two always make this old dog feel better. I lose my motivation because I took the advice to write the story I would like to read, but, no one is writing those stories or make those movies. So, negative me says truly, no one wants to hear my stories. I am a dinosaur and the world has moved on. You two give me hope. Thanks.
The world never moves on from loving good stories. Keep going! ❤
@@jessk7240 Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. Positive me agrees, so I write more. I am stubborn that way. :)
Sometimes we writers suffer from writer's block, however it is okay to pause from your writing journey from time to time. Ideas can spawn out of random visions or thoughts- if it is a fiction book. Just remember that a story may not have been written yet: but that seriously does not mean it doesn't deserve to be an actual novel. Don't give up.
Elon Musk almost gave up after three failed rocket launches for SpaceX: look where he is now; almost a billionaire. I hope you find motivation to write more, as no song has been composed without a composer, similarly, no book has been written without an author.
But if you are looking for online motivation, then Abbie Emmons has a ton of videos on it. Peace.
@@DravenGrabs Thank you. Abbie and Kate are terrific! I wish I had Kate's calm composure and Abbie is simply a wealth of practical knowledge. I particularly like her story blender video! My stories are no longer mainstream, they focus on themes long gone. So, I focus on the audience that seeks 1930s and 1940s themes, and there are a few of us left. I write for them and do not expect to be recognized. I found Abbie's Dream Life in 2024 very inspirational.
I feel the exact same way about my own writing. I suppose that’s a sign that there actually MIGHT be other dinosaurs out there who would love to read the stories that we want to write. IMO, Hollywood is garbage and promotes garbage, so if it’s something they wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, then it’s probably a story worth telling.
Every conflict is an opportunity to seize your destiny. Destiny can’t achieve itself. There has to be a protagonist willing to go for it! Even the most well laid out plan needs action in order to make dreams a reality.
When I first began my writing journey I was like a star being born in the cosmos. Chaotic but beautiful despite the hardships and toxic habits I have overcome. It took time, patience and determined faith in myself and in my dreams. Sure enough I learned my patterns and my process and now I’m rocking it! Now, I have found that my time management issues are actually rooted in energy management. Goes along with what Kate and Abbie are saying about fueling yourself with the right vibes. Both internal and external sources which most of the time can be taken care of simultaneously.
So my self doubt is out the window! It’s more about paying to my energy patterns, being honest with myself, and making sure I’m filling my cup with the right ingredients.
Hearing what you said about having supportive people around really hit close to home for me since my friends have been so supportive, and encouraging with my writing. They are even part of the reason I entered into a writing contest, and their faith in me was far higher than I had for myself. They knew better my potential than I saw in myself. After I entered into a writing contest with just the mindset of "even if I don't make it I'll be happy because I tried.", and actually made it into the first round I got a lot of "I told you so" from them, a lot of being told I had to have more faith in myself. They really are so supportive, so I can definitely say from my own experience that having people and friends who support you helps so much. Everything in this video is stuff I hope to do more often, and I am very grateful as a first timer to this channel to have come across this! Thank you so much!
Thank you for this video. I suffered from 6 months of crippling self doubt towards the second half of 2023. So much that i almost packed in writing. I have overcame this through creating a smile file with all the great reviews I've had for my books. Whenever that doubt starts to creep in now, i just reach for my smile file. It serves to remind me that there are people who love my books and it motivates me to keep writing! 😊
I am happy this video came out because I needed some encouragement
Every time I look at my favorite book, "The Cruel Prince", I get this motivation to create my own style of writing and creation.
This is the video I need, thank you
This happens to me all the time.
I joined right at the end, but even still, this helped me understand why my motivation was always so low.
I needed to put my manuskript away for 3-4 months because of stress. (First part have been edited a couple of times, the second part needs to be edited)
Im really positively surprised how good the first part is
That is a big win
I'm half way through my story. I'm doing a retelling of my favorite Disney princess Aurora aka sleeping beauty but my protagonist is actually called Morning Glory Beauty
Link?
You guys are my motivators. I consider you guys my friends, even though it's mostly one way, and you guys really help me. ❤
Abbie, you're amazing thank you
Hi dear Abbie, hi dear Kate, just an idea: what about a chatty episode about tropes. Your favorites, your least favorites, fun stuff that creep you out, etc. ❤❤❤
You posted this in the exact perfect time! I am still in the time of finishing and adding touches and details to my story what is rlly mind-numbing sometimes! Tysvm for these tipps since they're so so needed! ❤❤
I feel like this video was made for me, right here, right now! Thank you Abbie and Kate!!!
i needed this , I was facing this issue thank you so much Kate and Abbie!
Love this video!! I have some advice for myself to not experience self-doubt about my writing. But recently I have been having self-doubt about my writing, so this video came in just in time. Keep on what you're doing because it is great for writers to give advice from other writers themselves.
I have heard and read from multiple resources that very few writers ever get published or make an income.
Yep sadly.
Loved the video! Thank you for posting 💕 it was indeed very helpful!
Love yall! And i wanted to say that listening to positive affirmations as you sleep has done wonders for my self-worth. Sometimes, they even seep into your dreams, thats when you know it's working. ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for the amazing tips! They were super helpful!
Thanks so much Abbie and Kate!! I feel so inspired and rejuvanated to go straight back to my WIP!
This was all good advice!!! I always had self doubts about my writing! I been telling myself some positive things about my wriiting and it seemed to help! Thanks loves!! ❤
Retired teacher here. "Finished" my 3rd novel and recently had it edited with a professional through Reedsy. The draft I submitted needs A LOT of work. I'm taking the steps the editor recommended I take to make my novel the best it can be. That's how I found you, Emmons sisters! I'm almost ready for my rewrite and fluctuate between great excitement and greater fear.
Thank you very much for all your videos! They've all been extremely helpful!
How do you decide how many pages it will be?
I needed this SO much!! You and Kate are the reason I wanted to start writing and this was so helpful! :D (side note, I LOVE Kate's cup)
PERFECT TIMING!! I just finished my first book because of your videos and got hit with MASSIVE imposter syndrome that has lasted for two months now as I've been going through the beta feedback part (even though it's mostly positive feedback). I'm self-publishing with KDP and I've been having SUCH a hard time actually hitting the "publish" button because it just feels like it's going to get lost in the ether and no one is going to read it and the last 8 years have been a waste of time. Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me the courage to move forward with the publishing process, and not just the courage, but actual actionable steps!!
I think this, too, but have told myself that I am doing it for me and I don’t care if anyone ever buys it. It may be a waste of money, but I feel like I am paying for the experience of learning and actually putting something out into the world.
Thanks Abbie for another great video. I usually try not to push myself too hard. When I get tired I stop! I either just chill, take a nap (recharge). Btw bought all 3 books, waiting for 100dos to arrive. Have to return tow as it was damaged in shipping. So staring at t&w best Christmas resisting the urge to read, since it's a sequel. 😊
Omg Kate where did you get your T-shirt?! I love it! Also I love the Kate and Abi show it’s a regular guidance for me as I work on my debut fantasy novel. Self-doubt is something I’ve been struggling with recently as I just announced that I’m writing my novel on instagram and I was worried what family & friends thought, but I’ve had such positive comments from everyone! I’m just trying to remind myself that I’m doing this because I enjoy it, as long as I have fun doing the writing that’s all that matters! ❤
We are in it alone, together.About creative writing.
Avoiding something can put focus on that which we avoid, so rather navigate differently than avoiding specific things. Focus on the positive islands of hope and inspiration.
Thank you for this! Self-doubt is such a struggle for me. Especially the more I read and realize how many amazing authors there are out there. It gives me major imposter syndrome. 😬
great video, girls. really insightful. common sense, really, but when we get into a negative funk it’s often hard to haul ourselves out of it. thanks for your time. xx
These two sisters are THE sisters
Pretty cool. Positive affirmations are essential in the writing journey, in any journey you're on.
Hey Abbie! This is a great video as always. Question, have either of you considered writing scripts for tv shows? Can you talk about the difference of flow/plot between a book and a tv show? Have a wonderful day!!! 😁😁
Keep it positive
I named my protagonist Abbie in my latest romance novel.
Abbie, after all I've been through emotionally with my book... I lost the current (January '24) draft due to computer complications, and have to rebuild from an October '23 draft. :'( At least I didn't lost the whole thing -- like I did with all my other plot bunnies. WAAAHHH!!! My self talk? The next version will be even better! ----- I'm the midst of a move, but will check out Kate's class when I get stable. Thanks for the reminder.
Got inspired) tnx)
In August I knew I could never keep a story going long enough to write a novel.
In September I found a copy of "Save The Cat" and learned how to pace story and fill it with ideas.
Then I signed up for NaNoWriMo and in November I wrote the first 50,000 words of my first novel, finishing the first draft in mid-December.
My favorite method for overcoming doubt is to ask what I'm lacking and learn how to move beyond it. The more you know, the more confident you can be.
Also, be determined to fail until you understand the process. Practice builds skill.
As G. K. Chesterton once said, anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Skills must be built from the ground up.
Yes! 23:15 seek inspiration . . .
I actually feel like it is the opposite for me. If I don't allow myself to sometimes speak the negative words out loud - I am more likely to get stuck inside my head. If I say it out loud to someone - then I hear how it sounds and how harshly I am judging myself and it makes me correct it. If I keep it in my head - I am more likely to be unkind to myself.
I couldn't even count on my hand the amount of times I've come up with an idea & wouldn't see it through to the end.
"No, this one's not good enough"
"No, you don't even have a computer. How far can you get on notebook paper & a phone note pad?"
"You can barely express yourself in person. Why wouldn't your writing fumble too?"
Or it's just good ol' fashioned getting distracted until the concept is forgotten 😂
Intrusive thoughts are where creativity dies. Appreciate you for posting content like this. Three people read my latest prologue & seemed invested, but the doubts still creep their way in. Really trying not to fall back on old habits this time.
Same here! Now I just added "AI does it better than you" to the mix...😅😅
@@Atypical_Typo oh no😅
Never sell yourself shorter than AI. You're awesome!
If it helps, I don’t really have a reliable computer to write on either. I’ve been using the computers at my local library to write my novel and saving it on a flash drive/googledocs.
I also can’t express myself in person well at ALL... That’s WHY I’m a writer, because I’m much better with written words.
The most frustrating thing is being in love with your story, but no one wants to give it a chance 😭 like people genuinely don’t give a sht unless it’s published.
Question. In dialogue, do you need to use the correct tense your writing in. If you use simple past. Would that over flow into dialogue.
How is it possible for someone who's voice is so easily ignored and forgotten?
It's me. I'm someone.
My doubt is why am i doing this at 61? Then i think why not? I float back and forth.
Bless you ladies!
I was wondering, how would one write a story if it doesn’t have a plot to it? I know that might seem like a dumb question to ask, only you know so much about writing & you not only make it easy for me to understand, but you also inspire me to write which is why I often cone here. Now most stories have a beginning, middle & ending & an interesting plot but this one I am working doesn’t have a plot because it happened to me. So how do I go about writing it? Hope I am not being rude by asking you this.
I find myself in the "writer psychosis" twice a week 😂
Every two to three days I have thoughts like "damn, this is crap! What the hell am I doing? " and after that I have a euphoric phase when I think "yeah, this is GOOD!"
I dont even compare myself to others and avoid reading other authors while Im writing.
I guess the fact that I become blind to my work is one of the key aspects that fuel my self doubts. At a certain point I cant see my story as fresh as it felt when it poured out of me. So I begin to see it as dull and boring.
Always say to yourself 'If they can do it so csn I!'
Can you do a talk on the border between inspiration and copying cause I have problems with my writing where I take some inspiration from other authors books and styles but I am always worried that I'm copying someone. There are millions of books. How do I know there isn't a book exactly like mine out there? When I take inspiration I have no intention on stealing ideas or anything from other authors but I'm still scared that I will.
For me I'm currently working on a project I'm so passionate about and its like my baby and I'm scared everyone will hate it.
Not only that but when ever I look at my script I feel a wall blocking my creativity and ideas and motivation and confidence
And don’t get me started on cringe
Any tips on how to find the Misbelief I kind of struggle with the Misbelief of my main character
Can u please do a video on john trubys anatomy of story and anatomy of genres. i dont see any videos u discussing about these book..it will be helpfull if u do..
It took Tolkien 2½ year to write the Hobbit and 12 years to write the LOTR (and 5 years further to publish). So, don't stress yourself on time schedules :)
I don't think a writer doesn't have to keep his or her negative thoughts inside. Instead, talking to others, telling them out loud, can help the writer to understand that is just the opposite. When I have doubts with my writing, I talk about it with other writer friends, and we help each other to understand that we are good writers and we can improve during the years. If you keep it inside, you would explode. Or, at least, I would. It depends from writer to writer, but for me it's what I think, it's my opinion.
Hey. Just a question, when will you talk about other techniques for the meaning of your story, like philosophical conflict? Because meaning creates emotion. Meaning taken from our life. That is why stories are metaphors for our lives because we get emotional impact from the story.
This is Sarah Q. I have a question. I’m writing a murder mystery and my protagonist wants to investigate her own mother’s murder that happened 9 years ago. The reason she is investigating 9 yrs later and not when it happened is all developed. Her desire is to find the killer, her fear is that the killer is out there hunting her, but I can’t figure out the misbelief???
im not sure if the comment i made a few minutes will show up latter but but here is the jest of it keep track of witch writing people make you feel good about yourself or bad so you dont get stuck on the ones that make you feel bad i find Elizabeth Coyle to have good tips she has a great sense of humor and she talks about her struggles making her relatable
So Pretty love you writter❤❤❤❤❤❤
I need your help.
I am writing a story in which one of the main character loses her parents in a car accident but later proved as a pre planned murder.
Can you please help me out
What do I do when the thing that drains my battery is my kids? 😅 I had to shelve my novel for a few years because I just didn’t have the time, energy, or mental bandwidth to write while being a SAHM to two young kids. They’re now both in school and I finally got back to writing, and it was going so well! Then Christmas took over everything, and we’ve been sick so they’ve been home a lot… and now I haven’t written in two months. I don’t know how other moms do it. What’s the secret?!
I'm a SAHM too and just finished my first book! My 3 kids are elementary school aged, but we are homeschooling, so it's really hard to "find" time to write. My advice is not to try to "find" the time, but rather to prioritize my writing whenever I have free time, even if it's only a few minutes in the bathroom. Instead of scrolling pinterest, I write. Instead of watching TV in the evening, I write. I don't let it get in the way of my relationship with my kids, but it shows them that it's okay to prioritize what you're passionate about. My kids are now my biggest cheerleaders because they are seeing me prioritize my passion, and it sort of gives them permission to prioritize their passions too. My oldest is becoming an amazing artist, and my second kiddo is writing her own stories now because I set that example for them to work on their craft and perfect what they're interested in even when it's hard to do. I hope that makes sense!
Glad, you're best sisters and friends. Not like Amy & Jo!🤭❤
Video actually begins at 3:40.
If you were making a table, you could look at it objectively and see how good you did. Like if it was wobbly, you would know immediately. Writing is 100% cerebral. It's hard to know if your translating from your mind to the reader's mind effectively.
Please Abbie reply,
I am HRJ and I'm facing self doubt about writing, I love to write and I write what I believe is pretty good I has asked a few people and they think so too...
But the truth is I am very young to be a writer cause I'm only 11 and I will have to ask my parents if I want to publish my work then they will have to know and I'm very sensitive to the reaction of people,so I really want to publish atleast one of the novels that I've written so can you please please give me an opinion of what you think I should do.
Please please Abbie.
You are the best
'promo sm' 😂
I feel like this video was made for me, right here, right now! Thank you Abbie and Kate!!!