I am absolutely disgusted by those two "healthcare professionals" in the last story for not recognizing what hysteria looks like, he was not "laughing" at his dead baby he was in so much mental anguish that his brain was trying to balance out the pain with happy hormones which causes uncontrollable laughter, its super common and not something anyone should be shamed over.
Sometimes when I’m in a stressful situation (e.g. Watching my little sister while she’s having a huge, violent tantrum), I just start laughing because I have no idea how to handle it. I think OP’s husband was experiencing a far more serious version of that kind of stress in that moment. I can’t even begin to imagine how he felt in that moment.
@@jaymel4691 honestly that's the best assumption based on what we are told. If they are aware of the details of his trauma, it would be easy to connect the dots why ge was "laughing". So awful.
This post reminded me of a time where one of my friends baby died in an accident…. She was a 6 months old baby girl and we were out on a trip An accident happened and she didn’t make it, i was fully conscious there hearing her mom hysterical cry and tears Next thing I remember was laughing and crying crazy and some medical staff taking me away then i passed out My friend refused to ever talk to me after that …. Even the one friend that defended me said i might be possessed by a demon and not to blame me for the devil’s laughter…… You can’t expect everyone to know about mental health specially in such intense situations Oh and yes that wasn’t my first time witnessing the death of someone close/family
Last Story: My god, I have never heard anything so heart wrenching. What's more is that the laughing/sobbing response OP's husband had is a real psychiatric reaction. The brain can't process the traumatic thing fully and starts throwing reactions left and right to try and deal with it. It's why he ran into the halls, and it's why he was laughing as well as sobbing. This type of overload reaction is pretty common in those suffering from PTSD. It's also very similar to an autistic meltdown (though the disorder causes the brain to not be able to handle even simple stresses such as a room of people communicating. Here's the kicker- I learned about this in my HIGH SCHOOL psychology class! OP's sister has absolutely NO excuse to be as ignorant as she is!
Exactly. Hell, even watch a dramatic enough movie and when shit gets so awful sometimes they just laugh and freak out and you know they've broken mentally. They have no empathy
An AddOn to the autistic meltdown being similar to a PTSD breakdown is something that never really left me after hearing it is that we as a society don’t really know how untraumatised autists act since we don’t have any.
Last story...poor guy wasn't laughing at his wife's miscarriage. He was so sad and angry at the cruel irony of yet another death in which he was "involved" after working through his trauma, laughing through the tears was the only way his breakdown could manifest.
God, that poor guy. And all that op's relatives can do is kick him while he's down. Straight trash! I hope op's husband can heal from those horrible experiences :(
I hate the stigma we have around mental health. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean someone doesn't have something really wrong going on the inside. Props to OP for sticking up for him.
Story 1: I love how OP could have taken the simple path of offering to tutor her when he first saw her struggling. Yet, he decided it would suit him better to make her do worse and then offer help. My man is taking extra steps just to be evil.
It’s also counterproductive. The girl knows that these are ops notes, and if she fails because of said notes, she’s not going to accept tutoring by the author of the incorrect notes
@@MortalOrder not to mention, if he actually went through with this plan and she legitimately accepted the tutoring, and he told her the right way of doing things, there’s no way that she wouldn’t notice that his tutoring lessons don’t match his incorrect notes.
The biggest red flag is that he says nothing about her as a person. Nothing to indicate that he knows her, or likes her for anything other than he finds her attractive. He's stuck in his own little world, the only place where his manipulative little plan makes any sense
Dude- that last story actually made me cry. The way she worded that whole ordeal can make me only imagine what was going on in that poor man’s head. That hysterical laughing? God I can only imagine the thoughts of his father spiraling out of control in his mind. Thinking “wow! Look, he was right. I really *was* the problem!” And just *broke*. That’s the most raw emotion of breakage I’ve ever really seen in my life. And the first thing her family thought it’s just fuckin “how could he laugh at his wife?”. Do people seriously not understand how *low your mind has to go* to start hysterically laughing and crying at a situation like that? That’s far out of therapy and deep into mental issues that were cracked long ago and finally snapped. That poor guy… He was probably nervous that entire carry, only to watch her have a miscarriage. The poor trauma that man is going through right now. I’m glad his wife stayed by his said. Fuck her family.
I can guess that was exactly what he was thinking. "I really do kill everyone I love... he was right." God I hope that he's doing better with the help he's getting and thank god he has someone like OP with him. He needs someone who'll just stick with him no matter what and show him "No, this is NOT your fault"
How can they be in the medical field yet they don't know what a mental breakdown is? If someone's laughing and it turns sobs and manically, that clearly isn't laughing. That's just common sense that he didn't find it funny. It's like the laughing was him trying to make himself feel better but then really thought it was his fault. The guy probably felt like a joke.. I'm so happy OP stuck to his side.
Last story: You would think a medical professional like a nurse would recognize a mental breakdown, I guess not although the fact he had to be restrained and was crying was a pretty decent hint. Also what were you supposed to tell your niece who was upset and asked you why you don't come around, were you supposed to lie, that's not right.
Agree. But just so you know, the reason being a medical profession means nothing when it comes to being caring about others is because it turns out the medical field is one of the main career choices that bullies choose.
It's bad enough they gaslight OP and her husband, but they do it to a child? Way to have an impact on an adolescent that will carry into adulthood. I'm speaking from experience. I came from a very toxic family. There's things that happened over 30 years ago that I wish I could forget about. I was always told I was being too sensitive, I needed to grow up, stop being a baby, etc. I'm sure you get the idea.
What gets me is that he’s being so judgmental and shallow like he’s implicitly saying Jess is. Who says that jocks can’t be smart or sensitive? This isn’t an 80s high school movie where you only have one personality type determined by your social circle!
@Fabbrizio Plays nothing says ‘great personality’ like manipulating someone to try and make them fall for you instead of just talking to them like any regular person would amirite? /s
The last story has me raging. First of all the sister is a medical professional, and is bound by HIPAA to not talk about any patient. That includes with her family! Second, it is known that people laugh in traumatic/dangerous situations. The reasoning is that they are close to passing out so their brain floods with an endorphin that makes them laugh to stay conscious. This has literally happened to me before and it's wild. I can't believe a family would do this. Absolutely OP should cut them off and report both the sister and mother to the hospital
Holy shit, that last story made me sick. OP's husband was shunned because he had a mental breakdown about his wife's miscarriage!? And OP's sister is a NURSE!? 5/5 buttholes for everyone but OP, the husband and the niece.
Agreed! Op's sister is a *NURSE* for crying out loud, you'd think she would know better than anyone, but *nope!* *Nurse Sister:* Oh dear, your laughing because you're have a mental breakdown because of a horrible, traumatic past? *HOW SHAMEFUL!!!* *Op's Family:* *HOW DARE YOU LAUGH BECAUSE OF YOUR PAST! FOR SHAME!* You told your niece what happened, and now she's mad at us. *This is YOUR fault!*
@@StylishFlipper8 OPs sister is bound by HIPAA but maybe not the mom since she worked at the gift shop. Either way they should just kept their noses out of it
Yea I don't get how it's not a HIPAA violation if his mom and sister told the family while they work at the hospital, even if they are family they told information about a patient who is became a patient since they had to restrain him.
Story 2: OP was way nicer than I would have been. It says on EVERY package to NEVER flush them ever, so I would have assumed the intent was to clog the toilet. But rslash might be right, she may have been mindless enough to think she could hide it.
Story 2: I was going to say OP may have been in the wrong for confronting her in front of everyone but never mind. She saw the toilet with clogged and then just left it, she had no problem copying you thousands and repairs to save herself from a small moment of embarrassment. What makes this worse is she could have just use their phone to see if someone could bring a trash bag.
That would have been very embarrassing I guess. But that is still better than flushing pads. If I go to a toilet and notice there is no trashcan I roll and ty my pad in the packaging of the next one and make sure it’s tightly sealed. Put it in my pocket/bag until I can dispose of it discreetly.
It’s just bizarre. It’s really sad she’s embarrassed by a natural female bodily function, but to walk away from a toilet you knowingly clogged and then attempt to start an argument when OP asked you nicely to clean the toilet? That’s just stupid. Like, I once clogged my sisters toilet and just sheepishly asked if I could borrow a glass for hot water to break down the toilet paper in the bowl, even unclogging it with my hands and then scrubbing my hands. My sister just laughed and called me an idiot, but she was just thankful no permanent damage was done and that I’d cleaned up the toilet.
@@Ailleas yeah roll it up in the plastic case the new pad was in and hide in bag until a bin can be found. Since day one of learning about periods we are told not to flush pads nor tampons.
I just about broke down crying at them last story. I can guarentee he thought he was the cause of the miscarriage because of what he went through with his repulsive excuse for a dad. People need to understand mental health more. I honestly just want to give him an almighty hug.😢
2nd story: I’m a guy and my wife told me about this. Julia should know that you don’t flush it down. All she had to do was wrap it with toilet paper or something similar and throw it in the trash.
Exactly, it would have looked like a ball of tissue someone used for a different purpose and not for that, like who would unwrap a balled up tissue in the trashcan?
Honestly i would put it at the bottom of the trash can just for good measure. Everyone should know not to do that but the human race continues to surprise me
The final story: Mad respect for OP for staying with her husband in his time of need. Her sister needs to understand that everyone reacts to lose in different ways and that laughter doesn't always mean joy or mirth. Sister is a total idiot, she shouldn't work in a hospital at all.
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw His father was lying. That’s it. His father was hurt by the loss or was a swine to begin with and took out his pain on his innocent son, who never did anything wrong. He wanted to hurt someone because he was hurting himself, and his child was handy and defenseless so he took it all out on him. The man abused his child his whole young life by telling him a cruel lie. Nothing was the kid’s fault at all.
@@erikmckoul2478 You’d think. You’d also think they could, I dunno… ask what happened, before they run straight out to gossip and spread their hot take on it. I HATE people like this. Rather than discuss matters openly and get the truth, they sidle up, pick out the observations that they want, and talk behind your back. My husband’s family was like this. So many lies! “We’re such a happy family” when people are looking, and when they are alone with their favorites the rest of us get torn to shreds and blamed for everything that goes wrong. Empty family portraits. He’s gone no contact.
that last story is heartbreaking. and i feel like anyone who works at a hospital, and just people in general, need to understand that nervous bursts of laughter is just how some people cope with traumatic experiences. just because they’re laughing doesn’t mean they’re happy about a situation or trying to make fun of anyone. they have no control over it, they’re in a state of shock. op’s family should know better, especially since they already knew of op’s husband’s traumatic past. i’m glad op stuck by and supported their husband, he did nothing wrong. i hope he heals❤️
What also gets me is that OPs sister who is a nurse is bound by HIPAA yet spilled the beans about OPs husband’s ordeal. I hope OP and her husband can recover.
My heart absolutely broke for the husband in the last story. What at thing to grow up with. OP was right to tell her niece what kind of people she is related to. A health care professional should be able to tell the signs of someone having a mental break!
Story 1: the fact that his first thought wasn't to reach out to Jess and ask her if she went to study together boggles my mind. Story 2: the first thing you learn as a pad user is wrap it in toilet paper and throw it in a trashcan. Pads are made of absorbent cotton and plastic.
For real. And even if her mom just somehow failed to educate her about pads, I've seen *soooo* many signs and warning labels saying "Do Not Flush Pads Down the Toilets" in my day to day life as a woman to know better through simple social osmosis.
The second story... My friends and I had a party at our apartment and some girl that we invited did this. She knew that you aren't supposed to flush them down the toilet. She just thought it would be funny if she did it at our place because she wanted to see what would happen. It wasn't funny and I'm still not laughing. You can't even flush tampons down the toilet- why do women like this Julia think it's okay to flush a pad down the toilet for, especially at somebody else's home? That's vile.
Story 2: Like another commenter said, OP could’ve confronted Julia in a better way: excusing the both of them to talk in private, etc. But! Also! You can literally wrap up the pad like you’re folding a rug (the bloody side being on the inside) and then wrap that in different directions with toilet paper and bin it. Thats literally what I do all the time. Its super easy. Use your thigh while sitting down as a portable table like your wrapping your baby’s diaper! Super easy. Edit: AND! IF THERE WAS NO BIN! My point still stands. Wrap it in toilet paper, walk out, bin it in waste, done. It will literally look like either a snot tissue or anything else. If the ladies do know what it is, they won’t bother pointing and laughing because its literally natural and happens to almost everyone who’s a woman or AFAB.
No, I would have confronted Julia the same way that OP did. Even if she wanted to hide her period from everyone because she was embarrassed, but everyone knows that you don't flush pads. There would have been no pulling her aside and talking to her in private. Nope. Just nope. I don't care whether I would have caused her further embarrassment. You don't do this, especially when you know better. Shaming Julia was the best way to get her to tell the truth. Point blank, period.
I read the maxi pad story. It got me so heated. I know someone who did that to someone else's toiled but using tampons instead....several dozen. It was gross when it was pulled out cuz it clogged the pipe. I also noted that a discreet methods of disposal are having period kit (assuming she went in to also change her pad) with her, have an extra bag (like a ziplock or dark color small plastic bag), put the maxi pad in there, put it back in the period kit and walk it to a different garbage can and toss it. There are many discreet ways to dispose of period products that don't include disrespecting someone else's home.
Or, just dispose of the pad in the wrapper of the new pad. That's what it's there for; roll up the used pad in the wrapper and throw it in the garbage. Nobody will see the blood while still being able to tell they probably won't want to touch it. We could normalize a normal bodily function so people can just throw it away and go about their lives without it being a bigger thing than it has to be.
@@SteviiLove Exactly. Even if there wasn''t a garbage can there, wrap it and nonchalantly walk it to a different area with a garbage can. She acted like she's the only one with a period and it's humiliating to let everyone know. Depending on how many other women were there, any of them may have been on theirs too
I think I've flushed my tampons when I first started using them when I was young and didn't know or they fell accidentally in the toilet and I didn't notice till later and went "do'h".
Exactly, also it's a period unless the person is an immature ahole they will understand that you need to throw away the pad. This story makes me so mad
Last Story: I really hope that OP updates us on what happened. Her husband needs help, and I hope that all of her family realizes that he wasn't laughing out of amusement.
For the last story, OP husband father should of gotten 6/5 BH. There's child abuse, and then there this. OP truly a hero for sticking up for her husband.
Last story. OP's father in law fully deserves the rare 5 out 5 buttholes. I get that he was devastated by the death of his wife and one of the twins she was carrying, but to put the blame on the surviving child? Only an absolute monster would do that.
His heartless way of coping I guess. I definetly hope he gets the worst of the worst though. And let's not forget about OP's family, absolutely heartless and toxic too
*Story 1:* Has OP ever seen Megamind? *Story 2:* That lady could've been sued for property damage. *Story 3:* Play petty games, win petty prizes. The parents had it coming. *Story 4:* Nothing to add. *Story 5:* OP should explain to her family that their lack of empathy toward her husband is why her niece is mad at them. I'd tell the sister and mother that because of them, OP no longer has a family besides her husband. UNLESS they quit being judgemental toward her husband because of his mental breakdown.
I really can't wrap my head around the fact that OP believes himself to be "smart and sensitive" 💀💀💀💀 His plan is pathetically stupid 😭 So, if she studies from his notes and FAILS, how can he think that she will be eager to have him tutor her? HIS NOTES made her fail! Unless he fails as well, she probably would start suspecting that something is going on, thus not trusting him with one on one tutoring. Also, usually you can see who and when a document is edited... Especially if you know whose notes these are, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happens. Then the whole sensitivity thing is just... Mind boggling. I don't need to comment on that.
Holy Hell...that last story had me SEETHING!! How can anyone be so heartless as to blame a child for the death of his sister, mother and grandparents when it was all out of his control! Of course he had a breakdown after he found out about the miscarriage, after the decades of emotional abuse he dealt with at the hand of his father! Then OP's sister, a medical professional acting this way is also repulsive! OP, her husband and niece ALL get rock-solid 0/5 AH! OP's mom and sister get 4/5 AH for piling on to this poor man's abuse! AND that low life piece of s**t that is OP's husband's dad gets an easy 5/5 AH for emotionally abusing his son for decades!
Oh man, I would have told every single family member to go to hell. Then I would file a complaint with HIPAA against the sister. Then I would try to find the husband's father. I refuse to elaborate.
@@TheEDFLegacy Yeah, OP is the One Good Family Member trope… I think it might be called One Sane Man, actually. One person who grew up a decent person and you wonder how because of their stupid family. Except the kids, of course. Proof that it’s not genetic.
Especially after suffering from a mental breakdown like poor Op’s husband, after everything he’s been through it’s understandable why he finally broke down, it was a laugh mixed with tears for god’s sake! These adults especially a health care provider should’ve paid attention to the signs instead of being judgmental!
I am so proud of OP for sticking up for her husband during his time of crisis in the last story. The rest of that family are monsters for abandoning them like that, knowing the husband's mental health history. Hearing about small parts of it myself made me want to cry for him
I sincerely hope the niece in the last story keeps in contact with OP and is able to keep having a good relationship. Especially after she becomes an adult and can make her own decisions. The fact that OPs family is being so toxic is appalling. All of those adults should be ashamed of themselves.
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@dx1450 Agreed. 12-year-olds are old enough to understand stuff like this. They’re at a pivotal stage where they’re very aware of right and wrong in a way they weren’t before and things like this stay with you. She’ll be launching into her teens with a vengeance knowing the pettiness of her family.
Last story: OP, if you read this, thank you for your unconditional support to your husband at his lowest point. It's always nice hearing stories like that cuz it gives other people who've been hurt and broken hope for a support circle. Not everyone does and I hope they find their support soon, so hearing this makes me happy since everyone deserves a relationship like that 🥰
I was tricked into spending time with a guy alone. I'd made it very clear I wasn't interested in more than friendship and not comfortable spending time 1 on 1 with him, though we were friends. He came up with this intricate plan where I thought we were hanging out in a group but it turned out to just be me and him. When he came clean about it, I was so freaked out. My only thought was how to get out his house without being assaulted or murdered. Needless to say that friendship dwindled to nothing.
I’m sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing well. I too had someone who I, at first, considered a friend. But that so changed! I know this is probably not as bad as what you or Op went through, but it still made me very uncomfortable! He kept sending me messages, though at first it was good… until it wasn’t anymore. He kept sending me messages that were “ jokes “ to try to get me to laugh, but what he sent were *NOT FUNNY AT ALL!* Even when I asked him to stop and say it wasn’t funny/charming, he’d go right back to doing *ALL* over again! It really got more uncomfortable when he messaged me say that he loved me… Yeah, no. I started ignoring him, and avoided him, as much as I can. Which then made him start insulting me through these messages! Thankfully, I took pics of most of the messages and showed them to our respit workers so they can get him away from me. I have never talked to him since, and he’s been trying to message me to apologize, but I’m not gonna risk it. If it is sincere, I want him to tell me, to my face/in person, *not behind a screen*, that what he did was wrong and creepy, and that he won’t do it again! But I guess that is asking too much.
Yet in his warped mind he probably thought that was a romantic gesture like it's shown in the movies. Guys, please don't do things like this, rom coms are fantasy and only appear romantic because of the cute music and the actors portrayals of the characters. Replace the music with a horror theme and it gives a completely different vibe. In reality that stuff is TERRIFYING, especially when we constantly have to hear on the news "Woman gone missing. Woman found dead after 2 month long search. Woman found in 45 year old man's basement.". It's NOT because you aren't rich or don't look like Ryan Gosling. Most women have to go through life with some measure of paranoia for our safety because when we don't, terrible and brutal things can happen and half the time WE get blamed for their actions for wearing a certain skirt or dropping our guard for "the wrong person" as though they have neon signs plastered to their heads saying "I'm dangerous!".
@@RiveroftheWither To be honest it should be obvious that it would be creepy to a woman. I think people that do things like that generally lack the ability to put themselves in other peoples shoes.
Oh, I dunno that it’s obvious the friendship dwindled to nothing… I was seriously considering it might have led to pressing charges! That kind of sllimy tactic is at least as old as motion pictures. What was he thinking? But some guys just don’t. I remember a guy in college who always seemed to be around places that I was. One time he told me any guy who married me would probably get “a wildcat in bed.” I assume he meant me and not an actual wildcat in his bed which seems like the kind of thing this dude is more likely to receive. I just remember thinking that he’d never find out. Another time he came up behind me at a dance and got my attention by kicking me in the back of my knees, I kid you not. When I had recovered from the instant loss of support I swung around and told him what I’d do if he did that again. He didn’t seem perturbed by the threat to… well, it was rather bloody. The only message he finally ever got was that none of this stupidity got him the girl.
In high school, and shortly out of high school, I had a friend that I had a crush on. My policy has always been, I don't know if I'm good enough for x person. I'll tell them the truth and let them decide. Also, I always let them initiate contact and doing something unless there's real reason like "Hey, this movie theater has this rare showing and I remember that you really like the movie. Just wanted to give you ahead's up." So if they're like "Okay, this dude is creepy. I'm never talking to them again." They can just stop initiating contact. At one point, she did just stop contact. She was getting married and had a bad accident so I understand. That's why I don't understand when guys are like "I need to prove to her I'm good for her." If you need to prove it or she doesn't see it, maybe she isn't the person for you? If you love her, you'd want the best for her even if it's without you? If she's dating sh*t men (like they're cheating on her, etc.) and she has no interest in you, like just tell her. I've always followed the rule that before you become boyfriend or girlfriend, you have to be able to treat each other like friends. If you don't or if you're a bad friend (or if they're a bad friend), why are you taking the next step?
Last story: strong emotions often manifest in weird ways. Seeing a cute puppy may make you want to squeeze it until its eyes pop out. Intense happiness makes people cry. Laughing is sometimes the reaction that happens when someone deals with intense trauma. There isn't more logic to it. This poor man... I wish OP and her husband the best moving forward 💖
Story 1: I love the logic of "I used this person's notes and it ended up giving me a terrible grade, so clearly they're a good fit to tutor me, since it worked out so well last time.
Your theory on the pad story is ON POINT and I feel called out. Not because I flush pads, but I freak and plan the exact best time to go to the bathroom that no one will notice, or turn the sink on so no one will hear
Story 1: Oh that's a 100% sure way for Jess to notice you alright. Just not in the way you'd want her to. As in "She wants to beat you up with a club full of rusty nails" way of noticing.
Story 2: I was almost against OP until I completly changed my mind through the story. We all know pads aren't made to go through the toilet. If she was embarassed, worst option is to wrap it carefully and dispose of it at home. But no, she was ready to cause damaged to someone's house just to keep her image! Seriously?
If she had just wrapped and tossed it in the bin, no one would've even known it was hers, and why would they care? You're supposed to through pads away, there would've been no reason for anyone to blink an eye at it. It's like something a 13 year old who thinks everyone is always watching and judging them would do
Whenever I get overly stressed out or have some thing happen, like bad news, I instinctively start smiling and grinning hearing that one story is like hearing one of my worst fears coming true knowing I’m going to get bad news one day and I’m just gonna end up smiling or worse laughing I don’t know why this is I can’t control it and I tried covering my mouth and everything but you can tell by my eyes that I’m smiling under it. I feel so bad for him and hope things get better. I’m glad his wife stood up for him.
One of my neighbours told me a bit ago about how a previous resident before I moved in used to flush nappies. -Nappies-. People absolutely are dumb enough to do that sorta thing.
Story 3. I did the same thing my husband's grandmother accused me of cheating on him and when my daughter was born we had got 1 but 2 DNA test and both results came back the same. He was the dad and I printed them out and framed both of the DNA test. She hates it.
Not to mention the fact that Op's mother and sister work in a hospital. You would thing they'd understand the situation better than anyone, but *nope!* The niece had every right to know why, and had a right to be mad at the other family members!
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw It wasn’t his fault at all. His crappy excuse for a half baked sperm donor emotionally abused him for years into BELIEVING it was. What a heartbreaking story
Last story: Screw that noise. The niece asked, OP answered. The family’s just mad their crappy behavior got called out. OP’s family is kinda like the husband’s father. Blaming a guy for something he had no control of. Why do I feel they’ll try to weasel their way back if OP gets pregnant and has a baby using the “Get Over it. It was in the past”
Story 2: I nearly gagged when op described the toilet water mixed with blood and the pad on the floor that's flat out disgusting and isn't that property damage? 😂
During high school, my dad and I would take our friends sailing. In the head(bathroom), there was a sign that read, "DO NOT put anything into the toilet unless you have eaten it first." First timers out with us would laugh at this but then we would tell them it was not a joke.
For the menstrual product disposal, we keep a roll of "doo doo bags" like for cleaning up after dogs, in the bathroom for disposing things that shouldn't be flushed. Works great. We also keep a roll near the cat box to encourage frequent scooping.
Now I will admit I used to think pads were flushable. But this was when I was young and new to periods. Obviously, I learned really fast that this wasn't the case. You'd think a grown woman would realize this by now.
I was taught right off the bat as a young tween/teen that you NEVER flush the pads! Use the plastic wrapper from your new pad to wrap the old one in and throw it in the trash!
Story 3: If they didn't want to be embarrassed, they shouldn't have publicly shamed OP's wife like that. Now they are going to be forever reminded that the only reason they refused to attend the wedding was because of how they perceived the wife
Not only that, but like always in those type of stories, it is OK for them to refuse to 'let go of the past' and demand proof, but when OP does similar thing it is petty? Come on... If OP trust his wife, that should be enough for every one else around...
Nah, u don’t “reconcile” then turn around and say u still feel some kind of way. I would respect it if he just cut them out completely but this halfway shit IS childish. Like either forgive them or don’t but if you do, you don’t get to hold it over their head indefinitely.
They probably looked down on her to the point that they thought they would "be there for the next one!", when their is not going to be a "next one" as of right now, since they seem pretty solid. I could never look down on someone for their past because people change and our pasts are usually the catalyst for that change...
Disagree, everyone should get the same BH score. The parents didn't approve of the wife's past, so they didn't attend the wedding, that's their right. The same right OP has to decorate his home however he chooses. If anything they didn't go out of their way to shame the wife, meanwhile OP has gone out of his way to shame his parents. You might disagree with why the parents don't like the wife, but it's irrelevant
Honestly, with the last story, I laughed when I heard that the niece yelled at her parents because her uncle (OP's husband) was no longer welcome in their home. Also, I just want to give OP's husband a hug and tell him that everything will be okay.
Last story, I had something similar happen. But not as tragic. My mom was horribly abusive my whole life, when I turned 18 she made sure I didn't get a job or was around people and kept me confined. My husband who I met online got me a plane ticket, arranged to get me out, so in fear of her ruining this. I never told her and just left one day at 25. A few months go by and she ends up getting my husbands phone number, she calls it freaking out crying saying how she thought I was dead. Mind you this is the same mom who kicked me out at 17 for leaving a single dirty plate in the sink making me homeless. Anyways, my husband and I put the phone on mute while she's crying and I kinda started to chuckle at the whole thing. We "make up", which doesn't last long, anyways. Out roommate at the time, who KNEW about all my abuse and situation overheard it all, the same roommate who always talks about how important mental heath is, decided to go on twitter and write "My roommates mother called her in tears worrying about her and they laughed in her face." My point of this whole post and story is that I truly think that some people just live for gossip and drama so even while knowing how mental health can be, and in this husbands situation, fully know that he wasn't laughing at the situation, probably saw this as an opportunity to start something. Because you can't tell me that you've never just been so upset that not once have you never like done something like chuckle or deemed "inappropriate" out of context.
For story 2, you're right on the money. When I was younger, I did the same thing. I didn't want my aunt to have to deal with my pads, so I tried to flush the pad. Of course, that clogged the toilet and embarrassed me. My poor aunt had to unclog it and see my pad in the end
@@dudeorduuude5211 Yep. I think I was about 13 when I did it. I felt so bad. I kind of just stood there mumbling sorry the entire time my aunt was unclogging the toilet
I did it to tampons when I was like 15, but Pennsylvania allowed you to flush them down the toilet. Or I thought so. I discarded the plastic and wrapper in the trash can. My brother complained to my mom about seeing it so she bought a trashcan for me just for my tampons.
I also did it because the last pads I has flushed down so I thought this would work out. I'm so happy that my grandma was so understanding about it. But the embarrassment of seeing your own used product come back up is a permanent memory..
I love the fact that you can tell when RSlash thinks OP is the asshole. His voice starts out normal but, after he realises what’s going on and as the story progresses, you hear his voice go more entitled. Love it.
Last story: I dont understand how people can be so cruel, I just wanted to give the guy a hug. But add everything together; the miscarriage, his abuse/trauma, and then the judgment... Any of those things could break a person, and he got all three. it's so sad he had to go through that and I hope he can find a way to heal.
The last story, here is my experience with laughing at a medical event: I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer at 26. I laughed. My partner (now husband) tried to get me to stop laughing but the Doctor telling us the news told him “leave her, let her react”. The laughter lasted maybe 2 minutes before the tears started and the laughing became sobs. The Doctor did not seem surprised at all when I laughed, so it suggests it happens more than you think. You should NEVER judge anyone on how they react to devastating news. NEVER.
Looks like this video is going through an identity crisis. 😛 *First OP:* Is your crush not interested in you? Sabotage her schoolwork! She’ll _definitely_ want to date you after you potentially mess up her future! /s OP is TA. *Second OP:* … Did OP’s husband’s -boss’- coworker (why did I think it was his boss?) wife not know that pads aren’t flushable? OP yelling at the -boss’- coworker’s wife might’ve been a _little_ harsh, but c’mon! -I just hope OP’s husband doesn’t get fired over this- probably not, because it’s not OP’s husband’s boss, lol. OP is NTA. Side note: It’d be nice if there were flushable menstrual products, assuming it wouldn’t negatively affect the environment. *Third OP:* I’d probably would’ve done the same thing if I were OP, but then I’m petty. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* OP and her ex just wanted to make their daughter happy. I don’t know why the girlfriend was hung up on the birthday cake. OP is NTA. I kind of feel bad for the ex for getting birthday cake despite not even liking cake, lol. *Fifth OP:* OP was upfront with her niece about OP’s husband not being welcomed in the family without going into specifics. OP is NTA. Best of luck to OP and her husband.
I do love watching RSlash so much. He's the only reader I've found so far who shows his true feelings on the matter and only sugar coats as much as is absolutely necessary for RUclips. It helps me move on from each story so I can enjoy the rest of the day without thinking about the stories I heard. Very well done, RSlash! I am so glad I found your channel!
Also, the incel could just as easily approach his crush by saying something like "I've noticed that you're getting a lot of use out of the chemistry notes. Let me know if you want some extra help, I'll be happy to do it" and leave it at that. She can take it or leave it, he can do a genuinely nice thing for someone he likes, and no manipulation!
But then how can he heroically rescue Milady from the Chad jocks she's with so she can realize just how nice and sensitive he is? How else will he be able to ride in like her knight in shining armor and prove to her he's the right man for her?
Jess likely showed basic kindness and this dude is jealous of her basically existing and hanging out with friends, and this guy is just SUPER toxic. I hope he stays far TF away from Jess, and she reports him for sabotage.
The 1st story's bad enough where OP intends to sabotage Jess's academic life so he could become the "nice guy", but it gets _worse_ when you remember he said that the notes are on a shared Google doc that other classmates use. Imagine what would happen if the classmates didn't double-check OP's incorrect notes and their grades suffered from as a result and later found out the reason. It would be a *shitshow!*
Last one got me. They should know better then to mock a man who is having a breakdown from PTSD. I commend OP for staying firm on her opinions. And I wish healing and softness for both of them.
I know right! There's literally a little picture on the pads box of rolling up the pad, using the wrapper and then securing it with the little tiny sticker. I guess no one reads anymore 😕
Story 2: NTA; as OP said, fixing a septic tank costs thousands, and if it needed to be fixed because of Julia's maxi, OP and her husband would have a legal case for the coworker and his wife to pay for damages. Also, those pads say on the box not to flush them!
Short answer is: this guy wanted to be the "white knight" coming to her rescue so she would see "how good for her I am, much better than those jocks she likes". He apparently posted an update saying he understands he is the asshole, but the link doesn't seem to work so ymmv.
That final story. They have some major nerve to judge him for that emotional breakdown. They basically kicked him while he was down. That family is disgusting
Story 1: OP literally said it didn’t matter if he messed With his notes because Jess would still fail So why didn’t he just offer to tutor her That way he gets to spend time with her and she gets help with her homework without being manipulated
Last story: Haven't they learned anything from Harry Potter? Hysterical laughter can be a sign of a breakdown, not mirth or enjoyment. It is totally normal to react in a way that is strange or might betray the wrong emotion in a traumatic situation. How do these people have so little empathy?
Right? The niece had every right to know, and she had every right to be mad at the other family members. The sister is a nurse, you'd think she would know better than anyone, but *nope!*
@@tawnyacosta9091 I actually have run into quite a few RNs who don't believe in behavioral health at all. One even went as far as to tell me everyone who claims to have a mental health issue are just faking it and it is just excuses for piss poor behavior and/or laziness. Another believed it was all made up by the drug companies to peddle more drugs to the populace.
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw it wasn't his fault. But his father, his only parent, telling him for years that it was his fault when he was a kid, completely mentally f-ed him up.
I understand the last story with the sister being a medical professional and disowning her own brother-in-law for it. My ex’s mom knew about mental health/autism and yet still was an ableist to me as well as some of the other family members. Glad I say ex’s mom, but yeah. Hate those kinda people now
That last story is so heartbreaking. You would hope that a health professional would know that hysterical laughter is a sign of extreme stress for a lot of people. The fact that he needed immediate medical help should have been enough to fill in the gaps. Their behavior is disgusting
The first story is a lot like the plot of a particular Case Closed episode. This guy was majorly in love with a woman, who initially turned him down. So what does he do? Set her house on fire so that he can save her so she'll see him as a hero. And yes - it was brought up what would he have done if the fire spread too much, if he got caught into traffic and couldn't make it, if she died from inhaling the smoke, if he died in the fire trying to save her, ect. Unsurprisingly the idiot didn't consider any of that. Having explained all that, yes. OP in Story #1 is the arsehole.
Story 2. Even if that womans mother failed to educate her about the disposal of pads and tampons, she knows better. There are enough signs in womens bathrooms and big bold *"Do Not Flush"* warnings on pad boxes for this woman to just "not know" that you don't flush pads down the god damn toilet. Especially someone elses god damn toilet.
For the first story. This is why infatuation is often toxic to everyone involved. "I never interacted with her, but we'd make a great couple." How would you even *know* you've never interacted with her.
I'm imagining the first story in a POV years later, in a hypothetical situation where he actually got with his crush: Kid: Hey mom, dad, how did you two meet? Jess: Oh, well I met your father at college. I was struggling with my classes, and he was so nice to help tutor me- OP: And to think I would have never gotten a chance if I hadn't intentionally mess up parts of the Google Doc to get you to fail- so I'd have a chance to talk to you! Haha! Jess:... Kid: uh....
Story 5: I can only imagine how bad your husband must feel op to be told all his life that he causes death only for when he escapes it for his wife to miscarry it must of caused something akin to PTSD your tell your family that they are excluding someone with a medical issue that’s too deep to help or just cut them out of your life for good either way they are horrible people
Story 1. Hahaha, I love it. Honestly though, as much as OP deserves all the flak in the world for this thought process, what we really need to do is explain to OP how to more effectively value his own work and how to more effectively court girls that he likes. It's not all that helpful to call him names, though I personally find it funny.
DNA test story: what caught my eye is OP'S parents saying "he keeps bringing up the past" while that's exactly what caused OP's petty revenge. His parent's not letting go of the past.
That last one hit hard! I’m the youngest of 3 (52f). 27 yrs ago, my sister took her own life. 3 yrs ago my brother took his. (Wretched egg donour.) I had to be hospitalised because I didn’t speak, sleep, eat for a month. His family never came to the house to help. AT ALL. My own MIL could have at least held me but nope. Then 6 months later my aunt and Nana (who was more of a mum to me) died suddenly. My heart will never heal, I’ve been in therapy and functioning but I’m not the same and never will be. My husband’s family has told me to move on, get over it…all that rubbish. I told him I’m done. I will not attend any of his family functions EVER. I encourage him to because I’ve lost mine, I want him to spend as much time as possible with his.
Story 2: If you wouldn’t do something at your own house…why would you think it’s ok to do it at someone else’s…? Naw NTA Op she deserved to be called out like that.
I learned more than 50 years ago, roll up the pad, and wrap it up like a mummy with toilet paper. No one digs around in the bathroom trash can (unless they're a perv)!
For the last story, I would be afraid of my fiance reacting the same way. He still blames himself for my hospital visit due to an ectopic pregnancy after almost 3 years.
Yeah, Imma disagree with S4. How hard is it to say " Yes, I still like your Dad but he already has a cake, so instead we're going to do something else." The GF isn't being mean or making a power play (like OP who's using her kids as a reason to make her Ex a cake) but trying to get the party SHE planned and paid for in order. S5 Just broke my hart. I hope OP cuts her family and Husband get all the help he needs.
The op of the 4th story sounds trifling as hell. Like I don't believe it's about a cake on ops side. If the kids want to make a cake; ask the girlfriend if she can include the kids, or make the cake ona different day. Ignoring the girlfriend who repeatedly told her not to was just being messy
Story 3: I find it really hypocritical that the parents complain about his wife's past but then they get upset when they see the framed DNA test and say, "refuse to let go of the past".
So many of these stories can be summed up as my friend/relative/coworker/etc did something awful to me and I refuse to let them pretend it didn't happen, am I in the wrong. The answer should always be: if they weren't fully aware that what they did was wrong they wouldn't be embarrassed
@@mikeharris6429 You got it mixed up. She *was* a whore. She's a whore no more. It's completely hypocritical to tell some to forget the past but then not forgetting the past. If you worked as a sales person, does that mean you're always gonna be a salesman even when not making sales? What about a painter? You no longer paint, so are you one now? News Broadcaster that doesn't broadcast news?
Omg, I feels so bad for the husband in the last story. He wasn’t laughing at her it was a stress response. Laughing and crying are the easiest physically release we have as humans. Of course it just came out. Especially because he was probably blaming himself and really overwhelmed at the irony of his past catching up with his future. Poor guy. Poor OP.
I feel so bad for OP and OP's husband in the last story, OP's husband did not deserve that fate, or judgment or treatment throughout his life. OP's husband merely experienced the climax of all that anxiety, guilt, and fear that what his father repeatedly told him was true. OP's husband needs support and care, and understanding. I'm so happy OP is sticking with him despite everything, and that OP is willing to accept being disowned by their family to love and support their husband like they need to. I hope OP and their husband are ok, and I wish them the best life they can possibly get, without the judgment of those closest to OP.
You said it. This is what “trigger” truly means. Something that takes you back to that trauma and leaves you with little to no control over your response. Like some kind of psychological seizure, so to speak. And unlike what a lot of us have been led to understand, trauma doesn’t as often block out of your mind as it does imprint itself in crystal clarity. I suffered some neglect, bullying, etc growing up and still struggle with the results. But to be told you’re the cause of so many deaths your whole life? The level of damage would be staggering.
The inhuman noise and physical cringe that I made and did when hearing "smart sensitive guys" and "jocks" made my cat bolt upright and go "WTF!?" "Ah yes, I have it. If I purposefully make her fail a test, she'll fall right into my arms, it'll be like a storybook."
100%, I found myself out loud saying " What great personality?!" at the story. Nice guys and incels commonly lack all self awareness, you really see it come through in those subreddits because of how often they say "girls only want abusive aholes!" while being extremely quick to anger and saying a lot of abusive things.
It's kind of ironic that you mention Jesus, because when I heard that phrase at 2:30, that's exactly how the christian god is defined in the bible!!! He is allloving but he harms a lot of people. And if you don't love him back he tortures you forever or until you love him.
Probably doesn't mean anything but that's the Old Testament. The New Testament is considered the more "accurate" take on God since the New Testament is Christ setting the record straight through his teachings.
@@IWasaTeenageTeenWolf Not really, because every Christian is supposed to follow the 10 commandments in the old testament. And "Jesus" said to follow gods word and not to change it. And how can one part of the bible be more accurate then the other when both are supposed to contain "god's" unfailing words.
@@blackcab666 The Ten Commandments don't order people to kill and maim others on sight. From the way I was taught when I was a kid (Roman Catholic) was that man wrote the Old Testament while God was more explicit in the New Testament since Christ was speaking directly for Him (Christ considered more reliable since he was the son of God while others were humans with flaws. Christ in thr church is considered infallible. ) I personally see God in the more Jeffersonian way, i.e. He takes a backseat approach. He makes everything and leaves it up to us to handle things instead of babysitting us constantly.
that last story, it hits hard. that break down has happened to me only twice thankfully but its part of a panic attack. they r terrifying, mind numbing and leave u a shell. the laughter is kinda on the verge of hysterics, like a really cruel irony. i dont know why i laugh at it, it might just be an effect of getting beaten down with so much loss and hurt. i dont know any other way to describe it. i hope he and his wife r ok, and if they ever feel up for trying at another baby, i hope its a healthy set of twins.
Last story. I would argue that the family deserves 4/5 butholes, excluding the niece. Their decision isn't just affecting OP or the husband, it's also greatly affecting the niece.
Story 2: I was about to say that OP would've been minor AH until they described the mess in further detail, as well as Julia's attitude towards the cleanup. People need to seriously be taught how to properly dispose of those products to avoid situations of ignorance like this... and potential thousands of dollars in damages.
Mental breakdowns are so misunderstood. I’ve had my fair share and it’s not a good experience, all sense stops functioning and emotional wires get crossed. My heart breaks for this man, like, going through all that abuse and then starting to recover only to be emotionally nuked to his breaking point. Amazing for his partner, she managed to keep her head up through her own traumatic experience and stay by his side and be understanding, that takes a lot of emotional fortitude and compassion.
I am absolutely disgusted by those two "healthcare professionals" in the last story for not recognizing what hysteria looks like, he was not "laughing" at his dead baby he was in so much mental anguish that his brain was trying to balance out the pain with happy hormones which causes uncontrollable laughter, its super common and not something anyone should be shamed over.
Yeah, that sickens me. I wonder if they never liked OP's husband for some reason and were looking for any excuse to cut him out of the family.
Sometimes when I’m in a stressful situation (e.g. Watching my little sister while she’s having a huge, violent tantrum), I just start laughing because I have no idea how to handle it. I think OP’s husband was experiencing a far more serious version of that kind of stress in that moment. I can’t even begin to imagine how he felt in that moment.
@@jaymel4691 honestly that's the best assumption based on what we are told. If they are aware of the details of his trauma, it would be easy to connect the dots why ge was "laughing". So awful.
wasn't one of them a shop worker
This post reminded me of a time where one of my friends baby died in an accident…. She was a 6 months old baby girl and we were out on a trip
An accident happened and she didn’t make it, i was fully conscious there hearing her mom hysterical cry and tears
Next thing I remember was laughing and crying crazy and some medical staff taking me away then i passed out
My friend refused to ever talk to me after that …. Even the one friend that defended me said i might be possessed by a demon and not to blame me for the devil’s laughter……
You can’t expect everyone to know about mental health specially in such intense situations
Oh and yes that wasn’t my first time witnessing the death of someone close/family
Last Story: My god, I have never heard anything so heart wrenching. What's more is that the laughing/sobbing response OP's husband had is a real psychiatric reaction. The brain can't process the traumatic thing fully and starts throwing reactions left and right to try and deal with it. It's why he ran into the halls, and it's why he was laughing as well as sobbing. This type of overload reaction is pretty common in those suffering from PTSD. It's also very similar to an autistic meltdown (though the disorder causes the brain to not be able to handle even simple stresses such as a room of people communicating.
Here's the kicker- I learned about this in my HIGH SCHOOL psychology class! OP's sister has absolutely NO excuse to be as ignorant as she is!
Exactly. Hell, even watch a dramatic enough movie and when shit gets so awful sometimes they just laugh and freak out and you know they've broken mentally. They have no empathy
.... Yup, I too laugh in these types of situations. PTSD... it does things to ya.
I can hear OP's husband's histerical laughter, if you ever heard it once you'll never forget it
An AddOn to the autistic meltdown being similar to a PTSD breakdown is something that never really left me after hearing it is that we as a society don’t really know how untraumatised autists act since we don’t have any.
Last story...poor guy wasn't laughing at his wife's miscarriage. He was so sad and angry at the cruel irony of yet another death in which he was "involved" after working through his trauma, laughing through the tears was the only way his breakdown could manifest.
God, that poor guy. And all that op's relatives can do is kick him while he's down. Straight trash! I hope op's husband can heal from those horrible experiences :(
The poor man had a psychotic break and people are acting like he's some kinda disgusting human being who laughed because he was just a cunt...
@@charityquill4965
Except OP's niece. Her niece is awesome and deserve so much love and affection.
@@QuietChaos1996 and maybe other niblings too
I think it was also a bit of relief that OP didn't die. I really want to punch his sperm donor so badly.
I hate the stigma we have around mental health. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean someone doesn't have something really wrong going on the inside. Props to OP for sticking up for him.
Story 1: I love how OP could have taken the simple path of offering to tutor her when he first saw her struggling. Yet, he decided it would suit him better to make her do worse and then offer help. My man is taking extra steps just to be evil.
It’s also counterproductive. The girl knows that these are ops notes, and if she fails because of said notes, she’s not going to accept tutoring by the author of the incorrect notes
@@MortalOrder Good point. I guess this guy isn't as smart as he thinks he is!
@@MortalOrder not to mention, if he actually went through with this plan and she legitimately accepted the tutoring, and he told her the right way of doing things, there’s no way that she wouldn’t notice that his tutoring lessons don’t match his incorrect notes.
The biggest red flag is that he says nothing about her as a person. Nothing to indicate that he knows her, or likes her for anything other than he finds her attractive. He's stuck in his own little world, the only place where his manipulative little plan makes any sense
That story was gross if it's real.
Dude- that last story actually made me cry. The way she worded that whole ordeal can make me only imagine what was going on in that poor man’s head.
That hysterical laughing? God I can only imagine the thoughts of his father spiraling out of control in his mind. Thinking “wow! Look, he was right. I really *was* the problem!” And just *broke*. That’s the most raw emotion of breakage I’ve ever really seen in my life.
And the first thing her family thought it’s just fuckin “how could he laugh at his wife?”. Do people seriously not understand how *low your mind has to go* to start hysterically laughing and crying at a situation like that? That’s far out of therapy and deep into mental issues that were cracked long ago and finally snapped. That poor guy… He was probably nervous that entire carry, only to watch her have a miscarriage. The poor trauma that man is going through right now.
I’m glad his wife stayed by his said. Fuck her family.
They are unfit to be medical professionals
I can guess that was exactly what he was thinking. "I really do kill everyone I love... he was right." God I hope that he's doing better with the help he's getting and thank god he has someone like OP with him. He needs someone who'll just stick with him no matter what and show him "No, this is NOT your fault"
@@TotalFreakZoid for real. He needed emergency psych help and they betrayed him when most vulnerable. They need to be fired.
How can they be in the medical field yet they don't know what a mental breakdown is? If someone's laughing and it turns sobs and manically, that clearly isn't laughing. That's just common sense that he didn't find it funny. It's like the laughing was him trying to make himself feel better but then really thought it was his fault. The guy probably felt like a joke.. I'm so happy OP stuck to his side.
Last story: You would think a medical professional like a nurse would recognize a mental breakdown, I guess not although the fact he had to be restrained and was crying was a pretty decent hint. Also what were you supposed to tell your niece who was upset and asked you why you don't come around, were you supposed to lie, that's not right.
She’s 12 and knows something is up and is likely not believing whatever story her parents gave her.
@@lorilancaster5917 can't help but be proud of the niece for having a good head on her shoulders
Agree. But just so you know, the reason being a medical profession means nothing when it comes to being caring about others is because it turns out the medical field is one of the main career choices that bullies choose.
That family is nuts laughing can be a sign of shock as well
It's bad enough they gaslight OP and her husband, but they do it to a child? Way to have an impact on an adolescent that will carry into adulthood. I'm speaking from experience. I came from a very toxic family. There's things that happened over 30 years ago that I wish I could forget about. I was always told I was being too sensitive, I needed to grow up, stop being a baby, etc. I'm sure you get the idea.
Story 4: That's a good niece. Gotta love when kids see adults doing cruel and malicious things, and call them on it.
that was story 5 not story 4. story 4 was the cake story.
The minute I heard "she likes jock like guys and not sensitive smart guys" I was like oh ffs he's nice guy or an incel. I wasn't wrong.
Yeah I was legit surprised he didn't call them "chads"
"So she'll see what a great personality I have" 🚩🚩🚩
What gets me is that he’s being so judgmental and shallow like he’s implicitly saying Jess is. Who says that jocks can’t be smart or sensitive? This isn’t an 80s high school movie where you only have one personality type determined by your social circle!
@Fabbrizio Plays
nothing says ‘great personality’ like manipulating someone to try and make them fall for you instead of just talking to them like any regular person would amirite? /s
Yup r/nice guys anyone
The last story has me raging. First of all the sister is a medical professional, and is bound by HIPAA to not talk about any patient. That includes with her family! Second, it is known that people laugh in traumatic/dangerous situations. The reasoning is that they are close to passing out so their brain floods with an endorphin that makes them laugh to stay conscious. This has literally happened to me before and it's wild. I can't believe a family would do this. Absolutely OP should cut them off and report both the sister and mother to the hospital
The husband wasn't a patient and she didn't give out any of his medical info. Hipaa doesn't apply here
@@GaymerGirl- either way, still a huge asshole move and she's not fit to be a professional
Holy shit, that last story made me sick. OP's husband was shunned because he had a mental breakdown about his wife's miscarriage!? And OP's sister is a NURSE!? 5/5 buttholes for everyone but OP, the husband and the niece.
Agreed! Op's sister is a *NURSE* for crying out loud, you'd think she would know better than anyone, but *nope!*
*Nurse Sister:* Oh dear, your laughing because you're have a mental breakdown because of a horrible, traumatic past? *HOW SHAMEFUL!!!*
*Op's Family:* *HOW DARE YOU LAUGH BECAUSE OF YOUR PAST! FOR SHAME!* You told your niece what happened, and now she's mad at us. *This is YOUR fault!*
Wouldn't it also be kinda illegal in some way? i mean, the sister is a nurse. is she allowed to talk in detail about that?
@@StylishFlipper8 OPs sister is bound by HIPAA but maybe not the mom since she worked at the gift shop. Either way they should just kept their noses out of it
Yea I don't get how it's not a HIPAA violation if his mom and sister told the family while they work at the hospital, even if they are family they told information about a patient who is became a patient since they had to restrain him.
@@loveless47 I wondered the same.
Story 2: OP was way nicer than I would have been. It says on EVERY package to NEVER flush them ever, so I would have assumed the intent was to clog the toilet. But rslash might be right, she may have been mindless enough to think she could hide it.
Rslash was right.
Why couldn’t she wrap the pad in toilet paper? Then it’s not visible in the trash.
@@juleeetik7toki There was no garbage can in the bathroom…
Story 2: I was going to say OP may have been in the wrong for confronting her in front of everyone but never mind. She saw the toilet with clogged and then just left it, she had no problem copying you thousands and repairs to save herself from a small moment of embarrassment. What makes this worse is she could have just use their phone to see if someone could bring a trash bag.
It sounds like she tried to talk to Julia discreetly, but the crying is what got the attention of others.
This ! Why do that?? Like it's so bizarre !!
That would have been very embarrassing I guess. But that is still better than flushing pads. If I go to a toilet and notice there is no trashcan I roll and ty my pad in the packaging of the next one and make sure it’s tightly sealed. Put it in my pocket/bag until I can dispose of it discreetly.
It’s just bizarre. It’s really sad she’s embarrassed by a natural female bodily function, but to walk away from a toilet you knowingly clogged and then attempt to start an argument when OP asked you nicely to clean the toilet? That’s just stupid.
Like, I once clogged my sisters toilet and just sheepishly asked if I could borrow a glass for hot water to break down the toilet paper in the bowl, even unclogging it with my hands and then scrubbing my hands. My sister just laughed and called me an idiot, but she was just thankful no permanent damage was done and that I’d cleaned up the toilet.
@@Ailleas yeah roll it up in the plastic case the new pad was in and hide in bag until a bin can be found. Since day one of learning about periods we are told not to flush pads nor tampons.
I just about broke down crying at them last story. I can guarentee he thought he was the cause of the miscarriage because of what he went through with his repulsive excuse for a dad. People need to understand mental health more. I honestly just want to give him an almighty hug.😢
2nd story: I’m a guy and my wife told me about this. Julia should know that you don’t flush it down. All she had to do was wrap it with toilet paper or something similar and throw it in the trash.
Exactly, it would have looked like a ball of tissue someone used for a different purpose and not for that, like who would unwrap a balled up tissue in the trashcan?
I don't understand how some women lived long enough not knowing how to dispose their own pads properly
Honestly i would put it at the bottom of the trash can just for good measure. Everyone should know not to do that but the human race continues to surprise me
I'm a vampire and mm~ I would love to suck all blood form that maxi pad...
Exactly! And not only that, usually you can use the wrapper of your new pad to wrap the old one. This woman is just gross.
The final story: Mad respect for OP for staying with her husband in his time of need. Her sister needs to understand that everyone reacts to lose in different ways and that laughter doesn't always mean joy or mirth. Sister is a total idiot, she shouldn't work in a hospital at all.
Almost anyone should be able to tell the difference between hysterical laughing and laughing with mirth or joy.
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw His father was lying. That’s it. His father was hurt by the loss or was a swine to begin with and took out his pain on his innocent son, who never did anything wrong. He wanted to hurt someone because he was hurting himself, and his child was handy and defenseless so he took it all out on him. The man abused his child his whole young life by telling him a cruel lie. Nothing was the kid’s fault at all.
@@erikmckoul2478 You’d think. You’d also think they could, I dunno… ask what happened, before they run straight out to gossip and spread their hot take on it. I HATE people like this. Rather than discuss matters openly and get the truth, they sidle up, pick out the observations that they want, and talk behind your back. My husband’s family was like this. So many lies! “We’re such a happy family” when people are looking, and when they are alone with their favorites the rest of us get torn to shreds and blamed for everything that goes wrong. Empty family portraits. He’s gone no contact.
@@Tiggster-qr8mw It most definitely wasn't his fault.
that last story is heartbreaking. and i feel like anyone who works at a hospital, and just people in general, need to understand that nervous bursts of laughter is just how some people cope with traumatic experiences. just because they’re laughing doesn’t mean they’re happy about a situation or trying to make fun of anyone. they have no control over it, they’re in a state of shock. op’s family should know better, especially since they already knew of op’s husband’s traumatic past. i’m glad op stuck by and supported their husband, he did nothing wrong. i hope he heals❤️
What also gets me is that OPs sister who is a nurse is bound by HIPAA yet spilled the beans about OPs husband’s ordeal. I hope OP and her husband can recover.
literally Joker's movie plot
Even people in school can see this man is messed up mentally. They are breaking laws by spreading his info and displaying trash by shunning him
My heart absolutely broke for the husband in the last story. What at thing to grow up with. OP was right to tell her niece what kind of people she is related to. A health care professional should be able to tell the signs of someone having a mental break!
Story 1: the fact that his first thought wasn't to reach out to Jess and ask her if she went to study together boggles my mind.
Story 2: the first thing you learn as a pad user is wrap it in toilet paper and throw it in a trashcan. Pads are made of absorbent cotton and plastic.
For real. And even if her mom just somehow failed to educate her about pads, I've seen *soooo* many signs and warning labels saying "Do Not Flush Pads Down the Toilets" in my day to day life as a woman to know better through simple social osmosis.
@@gudkush420 IKR! it’s common sense that you don’t flush sanitary products!
The second story... My friends and I had a party at our apartment and some girl that we invited did this. She knew that you aren't supposed to flush them down the toilet. She just thought it would be funny if she did it at our place because she wanted to see what would happen. It wasn't funny and I'm still not laughing.
You can't even flush tampons down the toilet- why do women like this Julia think it's okay to flush a pad down the toilet for, especially at somebody else's home? That's vile.
Story 2: Like another commenter said, OP could’ve confronted Julia in a better way: excusing the both of them to talk in private, etc.
But! Also! You can literally wrap up the pad like you’re folding a rug (the bloody side being on the inside) and then wrap that in different directions with toilet paper and bin it. Thats literally what I do all the time. Its super easy. Use your thigh while sitting down as a portable table like your wrapping your baby’s diaper! Super easy.
Edit: AND! IF THERE WAS NO BIN! My point still stands. Wrap it in toilet paper, walk out, bin it in waste, done. It will literally look like either a snot tissue or anything else. If the ladies do know what it is, they won’t bother pointing and laughing because its literally natural and happens to almost everyone who’s a woman or AFAB.
No, I would have confronted Julia the same way that OP did. Even if she wanted to hide her period from everyone because she was embarrassed, but everyone knows that you don't flush pads. There would have been no pulling her aside and talking to her in private.
Nope. Just nope. I don't care whether I would have caused her further embarrassment. You don't do this, especially when you know better. Shaming Julia was the best way to get her to tell the truth. Point blank, period.
I read the maxi pad story. It got me so heated. I know someone who did that to someone else's toiled but using tampons instead....several dozen. It was gross when it was pulled out cuz it clogged the pipe. I also noted that a discreet methods of disposal are having period kit (assuming she went in to also change her pad) with her, have an extra bag (like a ziplock or dark color small plastic bag), put the maxi pad in there, put it back in the period kit and walk it to a different garbage can and toss it. There are many discreet ways to dispose of period products that don't include disrespecting someone else's home.
Or, just dispose of the pad in the wrapper of the new pad. That's what it's there for; roll up the used pad in the wrapper and throw it in the garbage. Nobody will see the blood while still being able to tell they probably won't want to touch it.
We could normalize a normal bodily function so people can just throw it away and go about their lives without it being a bigger thing than it has to be.
@@SteviiLove Exactly. Even if there wasn''t a garbage can there, wrap it and nonchalantly walk it to a different area with a garbage can. She acted like she's the only one with a period and it's humiliating to let everyone know. Depending on how many other women were there, any of them may have been on theirs too
I was literally going to say your not even suppose to flush tampons, but your story said it! LOL
I think I've flushed my tampons when I first started using them when I was young and didn't know or they fell accidentally in the toilet and I didn't notice till later and went "do'h".
Exactly, also it's a period unless the person is an immature ahole they will understand that you need to throw away the pad. This story makes me so mad
Last Story: I really hope that OP updates us on what happened. Her husband needs help, and I hope that all of her family realizes that he wasn't laughing out of amusement.
Hope she reported her mother and sister for a HIPPA violation
@@Oakeedokee7he wasn’t a patient though, she was. And I don’t think the mother could be under HIPAA laws since she’s not a medical professional
For the last story, OP husband father should of gotten 6/5 BH. There's child abuse, and then there this. OP truly a hero for sticking up for her husband.
Last story. OP's father in law fully deserves the rare 5 out 5 buttholes. I get that he was devastated by the death of his wife and one of the twins she was carrying, but to put the blame on the surviving child? Only an absolute monster would do that.
His heartless way of coping I guess. I definetly hope he gets the worst of the worst though. And let's not forget about OP's family, absolutely heartless and toxic too
*Story 1:* Has OP ever seen Megamind?
*Story 2:* That lady could've been sued for property damage.
*Story 3:* Play petty games, win petty prizes. The parents had it coming.
*Story 4:* Nothing to add.
*Story 5:* OP should explain to her family that their lack of empathy toward her husband is why her niece is mad at them. I'd tell the sister and mother that because of them, OP no longer has a family besides her husband. UNLESS they quit being judgemental toward her husband because of his mental breakdown.
at least megamind actually became good later... dont think op will
@@natzclover I'm not talking about Megamind himself. I'm talking about Hal.
@@spartan_odinson7570 ah ok
real
Spot on with all, especially the last story.
I really can't wrap my head around the fact that OP believes himself to be "smart and sensitive" 💀💀💀💀
His plan is pathetically stupid 😭
So, if she studies from his notes and FAILS, how can he think that she will be eager to have him tutor her? HIS NOTES made her fail!
Unless he fails as well, she probably would start suspecting that something is going on, thus not trusting him with one on one tutoring.
Also, usually you can see who and when a document is edited... Especially if you know whose notes these are, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happens.
Then the whole sensitivity thing is just... Mind boggling. I don't need to comment on that.
Ya like wouldn’t helping her pass make her what to have him tutor her? You don’t ask for help from someone who has failed you before
Holy Hell...that last story had me SEETHING!! How can anyone be so heartless as to blame a child for the death of his sister, mother and grandparents when it was all out of his control! Of course he had a breakdown after he found out about the miscarriage, after the decades of emotional abuse he dealt with at the hand of his father! Then OP's sister, a medical professional acting this way is also repulsive! OP, her husband and niece ALL get rock-solid 0/5 AH! OP's mom and sister get 4/5 AH for piling on to this poor man's abuse! AND that low life piece of s**t that is OP's husband's dad gets an easy 5/5 AH for emotionally abusing his son for decades!
Agreed.
Oh man, I would have told every single family member to go to hell. Then I would file a complaint with HIPAA against the sister. Then I would try to find the husband's father. I refuse to elaborate.
@@TheEDFLegacy Yeah, OP is the One Good Family Member trope… I think it might be called One Sane Man, actually. One person who grew up a decent person and you wonder how because of their stupid family. Except the kids, of course. Proof that it’s not genetic.
Especially after suffering from a mental breakdown like poor Op’s husband, after everything he’s been through it’s understandable why he finally broke down, it was a laugh mixed with tears for god’s sake! These adults especially a health care provider should’ve paid attention to the signs instead of being judgmental!
That’s a rare 6/5 to me. That was just unnecessarily brutal. Poor dude was a kid and having that following him for years would fuck anyone up
I am so proud of OP for sticking up for her husband during his time of crisis in the last story. The rest of that family are monsters for abandoning them like that, knowing the husband's mental health history. Hearing about small parts of it myself made me want to cry for him
I sincerely hope the niece in the last story keeps in contact with OP and is able to keep having a good relationship. Especially after she becomes an adult and can make her own decisions.
The fact that OPs family is being so toxic is appalling. All of those adults should be ashamed of themselves.
I hope the niece develops a good relationship with OP and distances herself from her toxic parents.
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw It was never that guy's fault those other people died. That's just what his terrible father told him all his life.
@@dx1450 Agreed. 12-year-olds are old enough to understand stuff like this. They’re at a pivotal stage where they’re very aware of right and wrong in a way they weren’t before and things like this stay with you. She’ll be launching into her teens with a vengeance knowing the pettiness of her family.
Last story: OP, if you read this, thank you for your unconditional support to your husband at his lowest point. It's always nice hearing stories like that cuz it gives other people who've been hurt and broken hope for a support circle. Not everyone does and I hope they find their support soon, so hearing this makes me happy since everyone deserves a relationship like that 🥰
I was tricked into spending time with a guy alone. I'd made it very clear I wasn't interested in more than friendship and not comfortable spending time 1 on 1 with him, though we were friends. He came up with this intricate plan where I thought we were hanging out in a group but it turned out to just be me and him. When he came clean about it, I was so freaked out. My only thought was how to get out his house without being assaulted or murdered. Needless to say that friendship dwindled to nothing.
I’m sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing well. I too had someone who I, at first, considered a friend. But that so changed! I know this is probably not as bad as what you or Op went through, but it still made me very uncomfortable! He kept sending me messages, though at first it was good… until it wasn’t anymore. He kept sending me messages that were “ jokes “ to try to get me to laugh, but what he sent were *NOT FUNNY AT ALL!* Even when I asked him to stop and say it wasn’t funny/charming, he’d go right back to doing *ALL* over again! It really got more uncomfortable when he messaged me say that he loved me… Yeah, no. I started ignoring him, and avoided him, as much as I can. Which then made him start insulting me through these messages! Thankfully, I took pics of most of the messages and showed them to our respit workers so they can get him away from me. I have never talked to him since, and he’s been trying to message me to apologize, but I’m not gonna risk it. If it is sincere, I want him to tell me, to my face/in person, *not behind a screen*, that what he did was wrong and creepy, and that he won’t do it again! But I guess that is asking too much.
Yet in his warped mind he probably thought that was a romantic gesture like it's shown in the movies.
Guys, please don't do things like this, rom coms are fantasy and only appear romantic because of the cute music and the actors portrayals of the characters. Replace the music with a horror theme and it gives a completely different vibe. In reality that stuff is TERRIFYING, especially when we constantly have to hear on the news "Woman gone missing. Woman found dead after 2 month long search. Woman found in 45 year old man's basement.". It's NOT because you aren't rich or don't look like Ryan Gosling. Most women have to go through life with some measure of paranoia for our safety because when we don't, terrible and brutal things can happen and half the time WE get blamed for their actions for wearing a certain skirt or dropping our guard for "the wrong person" as though they have neon signs plastered to their heads saying "I'm dangerous!".
@@RiveroftheWither To be honest it should be obvious that it would be creepy to a woman. I think people that do things like that generally lack the ability to put themselves in other peoples shoes.
Oh, I dunno that it’s obvious the friendship dwindled to nothing… I was seriously considering it might have led to pressing charges! That kind of sllimy tactic is at least as old as motion pictures. What was he thinking? But some guys just don’t.
I remember a guy in college who always seemed to be around places that I was. One time he told me any guy who married me would probably get “a wildcat in bed.” I assume he meant me and not an actual wildcat in his bed which seems like the kind of thing this dude is more likely to receive. I just remember thinking that he’d never find out. Another time he came up behind me at a dance and got my attention by kicking me in the back of my knees, I kid you not. When I had recovered from the instant loss of support I swung around and told him what I’d do if he did that again. He didn’t seem perturbed by the threat to… well, it was rather bloody. The only message he finally ever got was that none of this stupidity got him the girl.
In high school, and shortly out of high school, I had a friend that I had a crush on. My policy has always been, I don't know if I'm good enough for x person. I'll tell them the truth and let them decide. Also, I always let them initiate contact and doing something unless there's real reason like "Hey, this movie theater has this rare showing and I remember that you really like the movie. Just wanted to give you ahead's up." So if they're like "Okay, this dude is creepy. I'm never talking to them again." They can just stop initiating contact. At one point, she did just stop contact. She was getting married and had a bad accident so I understand.
That's why I don't understand when guys are like "I need to prove to her I'm good for her." If you need to prove it or she doesn't see it, maybe she isn't the person for you? If you love her, you'd want the best for her even if it's without you? If she's dating sh*t men (like they're cheating on her, etc.) and she has no interest in you, like just tell her. I've always followed the rule that before you become boyfriend or girlfriend, you have to be able to treat each other like friends. If you don't or if you're a bad friend (or if they're a bad friend), why are you taking the next step?
Last story: strong emotions often manifest in weird ways. Seeing a cute puppy may make you want to squeeze it until its eyes pop out. Intense happiness makes people cry. Laughing is sometimes the reaction that happens when someone deals with intense trauma. There isn't more logic to it. This poor man... I wish OP and her husband the best moving forward 💖
Story 1: I love the logic of "I used this person's notes and it ended up giving me a terrible grade, so clearly they're a good fit to tutor me, since it worked out so well last time.
Your theory on the pad story is ON POINT and I feel called out. Not because I flush pads, but I freak and plan the exact best time to go to the bathroom that no one will notice, or turn the sink on so no one will hear
Story 1: Oh that's a 100% sure way for Jess to notice you alright. Just not in the way you'd want her to.
As in "She wants to beat you up with a club full of rusty nails" way of noticing.
I hope OPs friend rats him out to Jess and she uses this to get him expelled. I have a feeling that she would be saving countless other girls
Or a "man I want to get a restraining order for that creep" way
@@shadowmewfred09 That's the first thing I thought, "nice guys" give me the creeps
@Wrath quite bot
@Wrath nope!
"they refuse to visit until they take it down". This just shows that they haven't changed. Their love is something you have to earn. Keep it up.
Story 2: I was almost against OP until I completly changed my mind through the story. We all know pads aren't made to go through the toilet. If she was embarassed, worst option is to wrap it carefully and dispose of it at home. But no, she was ready to cause damaged to someone's house just to keep her image! Seriously?
If she had just wrapped and tossed it in the bin, no one would've even known it was hers, and why would they care? You're supposed to through pads away, there would've been no reason for anyone to blink an eye at it. It's like something a 13 year old who thinks everyone is always watching and judging them would do
Whenever I get overly stressed out or have some thing happen, like bad news, I instinctively start smiling and grinning hearing that one story is like hearing one of my worst fears coming true knowing I’m going to get bad news one day and I’m just gonna end up smiling or worse laughing I don’t know why this is I can’t control it and I tried covering my mouth and everything but you can tell by my eyes that I’m smiling under it. I feel so bad for him and hope things get better. I’m glad his wife stood up for him.
Julia flushed the pad on purpose to damage the tiplet and plumbing. She had to know this would happen, as No one ever does this.
One of my neighbours told me a bit ago about how a previous resident before I moved in used to flush nappies. -Nappies-. People absolutely are dumb enough to do that sorta thing.
The boxes they come in tell you not to flush them. Public restrooms have signs telling you not to flush them 50% of the time.
@@mondenkindqueen Yup! You'd think people would abide by the blaring warnings, but newp. -_-;;;
@@LyreHarper Are they dumb or just negligent and incompetent?
@@zozocecp the folks I talked about? No clue! Never met 'em.
Story 3. I did the same thing my husband's grandmother accused me of cheating on him and when my daughter was born we had got 1 but 2 DNA test and both results came back the same. He was the dad and I printed them out and framed both of the DNA test. She hates it.
the last story is just so sad.
how horrible of op's family to judge him like that
Not to mention the fact that Op's mother and sister work in a hospital. You would thing they'd understand the situation better than anyone, but *nope!* The niece had every right to know why, and had a right to be mad at the other family members!
@@tawnyacosta9091 exactly
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw It wasn’t his fault at all. His crappy excuse for a half baked sperm donor emotionally abused him for years into BELIEVING it was. What a heartbreaking story
Last story: Screw that noise. The niece asked, OP answered. The family’s just mad their crappy behavior got called out. OP’s family is kinda like the husband’s father. Blaming a guy for something he had no control of.
Why do I feel they’ll try to weasel their way back if OP gets pregnant and has a baby using the “Get Over it. It was in the past”
Story 2: I nearly gagged when op described the toilet water mixed with blood and the pad on the floor that's flat out disgusting and isn't that property damage? 😂
I mean I remember when the cardboard tampon applicators were flushable but it's always been that you don't flush pads or the tampon itself
During high school, my dad and I would take our friends sailing. In the head(bathroom), there was a sign that read, "DO NOT put anything into the toilet unless you have eaten it first." First timers out with us would laugh at this but then we would tell them it was not a joke.
For the menstrual product disposal, we keep a roll of "doo doo bags" like for cleaning up after dogs, in the bathroom for disposing things that shouldn't be flushed. Works great. We also keep a roll near the cat box to encourage frequent scooping.
Thanks!
That's a nice idea.
Now I will admit I used to think pads were flushable. But this was when I was young and new to periods. Obviously, I learned really fast that this wasn't the case. You'd think a grown woman would realize this by now.
I was taught right off the bat as a young tween/teen that you NEVER flush the pads! Use the plastic wrapper from your new pad to wrap the old one in and throw it in the trash!
Story 3: If they didn't want to be embarrassed, they shouldn't have publicly shamed OP's wife like that. Now they are going to be forever reminded that the only reason they refused to attend the wedding was because of how they perceived the wife
Not only that, but like always in those type of stories, it is OK for them to refuse to 'let go of the past' and demand proof, but when OP does similar thing it is petty? Come on... If OP trust his wife, that should be enough for every one else around...
Nah, u don’t “reconcile” then turn around and say u still feel some kind of way. I would respect it if he just cut them out completely but this halfway shit IS childish. Like either forgive them or don’t but if you do, you don’t get to hold it over their head indefinitely.
They probably looked down on her to the point that they thought they would "be there for the next one!", when their is not going to be a "next one" as of right now, since they seem pretty solid. I could never look down on someone for their past because people change and our pasts are usually the catalyst for that change...
Disagree, everyone should get the same BH score. The parents didn't approve of the wife's past, so they didn't attend the wedding, that's their right. The same right OP has to decorate his home however he chooses. If anything they didn't go out of their way to shame the wife, meanwhile OP has gone out of his way to shame his parents. You might disagree with why the parents don't like the wife, but it's irrelevant
They said op should let go of the past, the whole reason that op took the test is BECAUSE THEY didn’t let go of the past
Honestly, with the last story, I laughed when I heard that the niece yelled at her parents because her uncle (OP's husband) was no longer welcome in their home. Also, I just want to give OP's husband a hug and tell him that everything will be okay.
Final story:
OP, her husband, and the niece get 9/9 Awesome score.
OP's family? 10/10 ASSHOLE SCORE. Why? BECAUSE THEY ALIENATED OP'S HUSBAND!
Also OP's FiL 100/100 asshole score. He started the whole damn thing.
r/Slash should add an Awesome score.
@@Double2KK Yeah like minus 1-5 buttholes for people who display awesomeness in the face of actual buttholes
@@TJDious he does occasionally give negative butthole scores
And don’t forget that dad who tortured his son for his own grief. He gets a “go straight to Hell” score from me.
Last story, I had something similar happen. But not as tragic. My mom was horribly abusive my whole life, when I turned 18 she made sure I didn't get a job or was around people and kept me confined. My husband who I met online got me a plane ticket, arranged to get me out, so in fear of her ruining this. I never told her and just left one day at 25. A few months go by and she ends up getting my husbands phone number, she calls it freaking out crying saying how she thought I was dead. Mind you this is the same mom who kicked me out at 17 for leaving a single dirty plate in the sink making me homeless. Anyways, my husband and I put the phone on mute while she's crying and I kinda started to chuckle at the whole thing. We "make up", which doesn't last long, anyways. Out roommate at the time, who KNEW about all my abuse and situation overheard it all, the same roommate who always talks about how important mental heath is, decided to go on twitter and write "My roommates mother called her in tears worrying about her and they laughed in her face."
My point of this whole post and story is that I truly think that some people just live for gossip and drama so even while knowing how mental health can be, and in this husbands situation, fully know that he wasn't laughing at the situation, probably saw this as an opportunity to start something. Because you can't tell me that you've never just been so upset that not once have you never like done something like chuckle or deemed "inappropriate" out of context.
For story 2, you're right on the money. When I was younger, I did the same thing. I didn't want my aunt to have to deal with my pads, so I tried to flush the pad. Of course, that clogged the toilet and embarrassed me. My poor aunt had to unclog it and see my pad in the end
Ha, I did the same. It was near the time when my period first started, I was 13 or 14.
@@dudeorduuude5211 Yep. I think I was about 13 when I did it. I felt so bad. I kind of just stood there mumbling sorry the entire time my aunt was unclogging the toilet
@@StupidCatLady I did something similar when my Dad had to hire a plumber and found it. Yikes.
I did it to tampons when I was like 15, but Pennsylvania allowed you to flush them down the toilet. Or I thought so.
I discarded the plastic and wrapper in the trash can. My brother complained to my mom about seeing it so she bought a trashcan for me just for my tampons.
I also did it because the last pads I has flushed down so I thought this would work out. I'm so happy that my grandma was so understanding about it. But the embarrassment of seeing your own used product come back up is a permanent memory..
I love the fact that you can tell when RSlash thinks OP is the asshole. His voice starts out normal but, after he realises what’s going on and as the story progresses, you hear his voice go more entitled. Love it.
Speaking of things like this, I kinda miss the part where actually stand far away from the mic to scream that line
Last story: I dont understand how people can be so cruel, I just wanted to give the guy a hug. But add everything together; the miscarriage, his abuse/trauma, and then the judgment... Any of those things could break a person, and he got all three. it's so sad he had to go through that and I hope he can find a way to heal.
The last story, here is my experience with laughing at a medical event:
I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer at 26.
I laughed. My partner (now husband) tried to get me to stop laughing but the Doctor telling us the news told him “leave her, let her react”. The laughter lasted maybe 2 minutes before the tears started and the laughing became sobs.
The Doctor did not seem surprised at all when I laughed, so it suggests it happens more than you think.
You should NEVER judge anyone on how they react to devastating news. NEVER.
Looks like this video is going through an identity crisis. 😛
*First OP:* Is your crush not interested in you? Sabotage her schoolwork! She’ll _definitely_ want to date you after you potentially mess up her future! /s OP is TA.
*Second OP:* … Did OP’s husband’s -boss’- coworker (why did I think it was his boss?) wife not know that pads aren’t flushable? OP yelling at the -boss’- coworker’s wife might’ve been a _little_ harsh, but c’mon! -I just hope OP’s husband doesn’t get fired over this- probably not, because it’s not OP’s husband’s boss, lol. OP is NTA.
Side note: It’d be nice if there were flushable menstrual products, assuming it wouldn’t negatively affect the environment.
*Third OP:* I’d probably would’ve done the same thing if I were OP, but then I’m petty. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* OP and her ex just wanted to make their daughter happy. I don’t know why the girlfriend was hung up on the birthday cake. OP is NTA. I kind of feel bad for the ex for getting birthday cake despite not even liking cake, lol.
*Fifth OP:* OP was upfront with her niece about OP’s husband not being welcomed in the family without going into specifics. OP is NTA. Best of luck to OP and her husband.
I do love watching RSlash so much. He's the only reader I've found so far who shows his true feelings on the matter and only sugar coats as much as is absolutely necessary for RUclips. It helps me move on from each story so I can enjoy the rest of the day without thinking about the stories I heard. Very well done, RSlash! I am so glad I found your channel!
Also try Mark Narrations, he is my favorite!
Also, the incel could just as easily approach his crush by saying something like "I've noticed that you're getting a lot of use out of the chemistry notes. Let me know if you want some extra help, I'll be happy to do it" and leave it at that. She can take it or leave it, he can do a genuinely nice thing for someone he likes, and no manipulation!
But then how can he heroically rescue Milady from the Chad jocks she's with so she can realize just how nice and sensitive he is? How else will he be able to ride in like her knight in shining armor and prove to her he's the right man for her?
That last story was terrifyingly heartbreaking, I can't even imagine such trauma
Jess likely showed basic kindness and this dude is jealous of her basically existing and hanging out with friends, and this guy is just SUPER toxic. I hope he stays far TF away from Jess, and she reports him for sabotage.
Report??!??! Sabotage??!?!?! Among us!;?!!;
The 1st story…OMG I don’t think my eyes could possibly have rolled any further back into my head. They’re gonna be stuck that way now.
First story, the guy updated saying he realised how dumb he was being and changed his ways
Well that's something at least
I’m imagining that he’s typing this while having a black eye and a fat lip
It’s amazing how many of these stories can be boiled down to “I or someone I know has absolutely zero empathy for anyone else”
The 1st story's bad enough where OP intends to sabotage Jess's academic life so he could become the "nice guy", but it gets _worse_ when you remember he said that the notes are on a shared Google doc that other classmates use. Imagine what would happen if the classmates didn't double-check OP's incorrect notes and their grades suffered from as a result and later found out the reason. It would be a *shitshow!*
Google Docs allows you to see edit history, he could've been so easily caught by anyone in the class
Last one got me. They should know better then to mock a man who is having a breakdown from PTSD. I commend OP for staying firm on her opinions. And I wish healing and softness for both of them.
Generally the protocol for pads is using the wrapper from the old pad to hid the other or use TP to wrap it and hide it.
amen
Why do most people not understand this? It's so easy my kids have been doing it since their periods started.
I know right! There's literally a little picture on the pads box of rolling up the pad, using the wrapper and then securing it with the little tiny sticker. I guess no one reads anymore 😕
Story 2: NTA; as OP said, fixing a septic tank costs thousands, and if it needed to be fixed because of Julia's maxi, OP and her husband would have a legal case for the coworker and his wife to pay for damages. Also, those pads say on the box not to flush them!
Story 1: OP you realise you could just offer to tutor her without trying sabotage first right?!?!
He even has the perfect excuse: "I saw that you're using my notes a lot. Want to be study-buddies?"
Short answer is: this guy wanted to be the "white knight" coming to her rescue so she would see "how good for her I am, much better than those jocks she likes". He apparently posted an update saying he understands he is the asshole, but the link doesn't seem to work so ymmv.
The last story. God, my heart breaks for OP’s husband and OP. That sounds so horrible to have to deal with. No words… 😢
That final story. They have some major nerve to judge him for that emotional breakdown. They basically kicked him while he was down. That family is disgusting
Story 1: OP literally said it didn’t matter if he messed With his notes because Jess would still fail
So why didn’t he just offer to tutor her
That way he gets to spend time with her and she gets help with her homework without being manipulated
Story 1: AH. Intentionally sabotaging a notes to get her to like you is NOT the way.
Last story: Haven't they learned anything from Harry Potter? Hysterical laughter can be a sign of a breakdown, not mirth or enjoyment. It is totally normal to react in a way that is strange or might betray the wrong emotion in a traumatic situation. How do these people have so little empathy?
Bro is suffering from ptsd and they have the nerve to insult him.
Right? The niece had every right to know, and she had every right to be mad at the other family members. The sister is a nurse, you'd think she would know better than anyone, but *nope!*
@@tawnyacosta9091 I actually have run into quite a few RNs who don't believe in behavioral health at all. One even went as far as to tell me everyone who claims to have a mental health issue are just faking it and it is just excuses for piss poor behavior and/or laziness. Another believed it was all made up by the drug companies to peddle more drugs to the populace.
I'm a little confused about how it was the guy's fault that those people died. It sounded like it was an unrelated thing that killed other people and he happened to survive, which doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. Can someone explain?
@@Tiggster-qr8mw it wasn't his fault. But his father, his only parent, telling him for years that it was his fault when he was a kid, completely mentally f-ed him up.
@@Tiggster-qr8mw it wasn't. His father was an abusive asshole.
I understand the last story with the sister being a medical professional and disowning her own brother-in-law for it. My ex’s mom knew about mental health/autism and yet still was an ableist to me as well as some of the other family members. Glad I say ex’s mom, but yeah. Hate those kinda people now
Story 4, if the parents really believed in letting go of the past, they would've attended the wedding.
That last story is so heartbreaking. You would hope that a health professional would know that hysterical laughter is a sign of extreme stress for a lot of people. The fact that he needed immediate medical help should have been enough to fill in the gaps. Their behavior is disgusting
The first story is a lot like the plot of a particular Case Closed episode. This guy was majorly in love with a woman, who initially turned him down. So what does he do?
Set her house on fire so that he can save her so she'll see him as a hero. And yes - it was brought up what would he have done if the fire spread too much, if he got caught into traffic and couldn't make it, if she died from inhaling the smoke, if he died in the fire trying to save her, ect. Unsurprisingly the idiot didn't consider any of that.
Having explained all that, yes. OP in Story #1 is the arsehole.
Story 2. Even if that womans mother failed to educate her about the disposal of pads and tampons, she knows better. There are enough signs in womens bathrooms and big bold *"Do Not Flush"* warnings on pad boxes for this woman to just "not know" that you don't flush pads down the god damn toilet. Especially someone elses god damn toilet.
For the first story. This is why infatuation is often toxic to everyone involved.
"I never interacted with her, but we'd make a great couple." How would you even *know* you've never interacted with her.
Yep. How about you have a conversation first and then see where you stand?
I'm imagining the first story in a POV years later, in a hypothetical situation where he actually got with his crush:
Kid: Hey mom, dad, how did you two meet?
Jess: Oh, well I met your father at college. I was struggling with my classes, and he was so nice to help tutor me-
OP: And to think I would have never gotten a chance if I hadn't intentionally mess up parts of the Google Doc to get you to fail- so I'd have a chance to talk to you! Haha!
Jess:...
Kid: uh....
Story 5: I can only imagine how bad your husband must feel op to be told all his life that he causes death only for when he escapes it for his wife to miscarry it must of caused something akin to PTSD your tell your family that they are excluding someone with a medical issue that’s too deep to help or just cut them out of your life for good either way they are horrible people
Story 1. Hahaha, I love it. Honestly though, as much as OP deserves all the flak in the world for this thought process, what we really need to do is explain to OP how to more effectively value his own work and how to more effectively court girls that he likes. It's not all that helpful to call him names, though I personally find it funny.
DNA test story: what caught my eye is OP'S parents saying "he keeps bringing up the past" while that's exactly what caused OP's petty revenge. His parent's not letting go of the past.
That last one hit hard! I’m the youngest of 3 (52f). 27 yrs ago, my sister took her own life. 3 yrs ago my brother took his. (Wretched egg donour.) I had to be hospitalised because I didn’t speak, sleep, eat for a month. His family never came to the house to help. AT ALL. My own MIL could have at least held me but nope. Then 6 months later my aunt and Nana (who was more of a mum to me) died suddenly. My heart will never heal, I’ve been in therapy and functioning but I’m not the same and never will be. My husband’s family has told me to move on, get over it…all that rubbish. I told him I’m done. I will not attend any of his family functions EVER. I encourage him to because I’ve lost mine, I want him to spend as much time as possible with his.
Story 2: If you wouldn’t do something at your own house…why would you think it’s ok to do it at someone else’s…?
Naw NTA Op she deserved to be called out like that.
Not as badly but I would also call out the person who 🤮 in the bin instead of the toilet
I learned more than 50 years ago, roll up the pad, and wrap it up like a mummy with toilet paper. No one digs around in the bathroom trash can (unless they're a perv)!
For the last story, I would be afraid of my fiance reacting the same way. He still blames himself for my hospital visit due to an ectopic pregnancy after almost 3 years.
Yeah, Imma disagree with S4. How hard is it to say " Yes, I still like your Dad but he already has a cake, so instead we're going to do something else." The GF isn't being mean or making a power play (like OP who's using her kids as a reason to make her Ex a cake) but trying to get the party SHE planned and paid for in order.
S5 Just broke my hart. I hope OP cuts her family and Husband get all the help he needs.
The op of the 4th story sounds trifling as hell. Like I don't believe it's about a cake on ops side.
If the kids want to make a cake; ask the girlfriend if she can include the kids, or make the cake ona different day. Ignoring the girlfriend who repeatedly told her not to was just being messy
Story 3: I find it really hypocritical that the parents complain about his wife's past but then they get upset when they see the framed DNA test and say, "refuse to let go of the past".
So many of these stories can be summed up as my friend/relative/coworker/etc did something awful to me and I refuse to let them pretend it didn't happen, am I in the wrong. The answer should always be: if they weren't fully aware that what they did was wrong they wouldn't be embarrassed
I don’t blame his parents at all. She’s literally a whore. Any intelligent person would assume that the kid wasn’t OP’s without proof.
@@mikeharris6429 You got it mixed up. She *was* a whore. She's a whore no more. It's completely hypocritical to tell some to forget the past but then not forgetting the past. If you worked as a sales person, does that mean you're always gonna be a salesman even when not making sales? What about a painter? You no longer paint, so are you one now? News Broadcaster that doesn't broadcast news?
Omg, I feels so bad for the husband in the last story. He wasn’t laughing at her it was a stress response. Laughing and crying are the easiest physically release we have as humans. Of course it just came out. Especially because he was probably blaming himself and really overwhelmed at the irony of his past catching up with his future. Poor guy. Poor OP.
I feel so bad for OP and OP's husband in the last story, OP's husband did not deserve that fate, or judgment or treatment throughout his life. OP's husband merely experienced the climax of all that anxiety, guilt, and fear that what his father repeatedly told him was true. OP's husband needs support and care, and understanding. I'm so happy OP is sticking with him despite everything, and that OP is willing to accept being disowned by their family to love and support their husband like they need to. I hope OP and their husband are ok, and I wish them the best life they can possibly get, without the judgment of those closest to OP.
You said it. This is what “trigger” truly means. Something that takes you back to that trauma and leaves you with little to no control over your response. Like some kind of psychological seizure, so to speak. And unlike what a lot of us have been led to understand, trauma doesn’t as often block out of your mind as it does imprint itself in crystal clarity. I suffered some neglect, bullying, etc growing up and still struggle with the results. But to be told you’re the cause of so many deaths your whole life? The level of damage would be staggering.
The inhuman noise and physical cringe that I made and did when hearing "smart sensitive guys" and "jocks" made my cat bolt upright and go "WTF!?"
"Ah yes, I have it. If I purposefully make her fail a test, she'll fall right into my arms, it'll be like a storybook."
Wow, the first OP is so far from self-aware, Jesus Christ
100%, I found myself out loud saying " What great personality?!" at the story. Nice guys and incels commonly lack all self awareness, you really see it come through in those subreddits because of how often they say "girls only want abusive aholes!" while being extremely quick to anger and saying a lot of abusive things.
It's kind of ironic that you mention Jesus, because when I heard that phrase at 2:30, that's exactly how the christian god is defined in the bible!!! He is allloving but he harms a lot of people. And if you don't love him back he tortures you forever or until you love him.
Probably doesn't mean anything but that's the Old Testament. The New Testament is considered the more "accurate" take on God since the New Testament is Christ setting the record straight through his teachings.
@@IWasaTeenageTeenWolf Not really, because every Christian is supposed to follow the 10 commandments in the old testament. And "Jesus" said to follow gods word and not to change it. And how can one part of the bible be more accurate then the other when both are supposed to contain "god's" unfailing words.
@@blackcab666 The Ten Commandments don't order people to kill and maim others on sight. From the way I was taught when I was a kid (Roman Catholic) was that man wrote the Old Testament while God was more explicit in the New Testament since Christ was speaking directly for Him (Christ considered more reliable since he was the son of God while others were humans with flaws. Christ in thr church is considered infallible. ) I personally see God in the more Jeffersonian way, i.e. He takes a backseat approach. He makes everything and leaves it up to us to handle things instead of babysitting us constantly.
that last story, it hits hard. that break down has happened to me only twice thankfully but its part of a panic attack. they r terrifying, mind numbing and leave u a shell. the laughter is kinda on the verge of hysterics, like a really cruel irony. i dont know why i laugh at it, it might just be an effect of getting beaten down with so much loss and hurt. i dont know any other way to describe it. i hope he and his wife r ok, and if they ever feel up for trying at another baby, i hope its a healthy set of twins.
"She's not into sensitive, smart guys." Typical "nice guy" mentality.
Last story. I would argue that the family deserves 4/5 butholes, excluding the niece. Their decision isn't just affecting OP or the husband, it's also greatly affecting the niece.
Story 2: I was about to say that OP would've been minor AH until they described the mess in further detail, as well as Julia's attitude towards the cleanup. People need to seriously be taught how to properly dispose of those products to avoid situations of ignorance like this... and potential thousands of dollars in damages.
Mental breakdowns are so misunderstood. I’ve had my fair share and it’s not a good experience, all sense stops functioning and emotional wires get crossed. My heart breaks for this man, like, going through all that abuse and then starting to recover only to be emotionally nuked to his breaking point. Amazing for his partner, she managed to keep her head up through her own traumatic experience and stay by his side and be understanding, that takes a lot of emotional fortitude and compassion.
Let’s play “Spot the future serial killer”
You get three guesses and the first two don’t count.
😊😂