Destiny drops a hot(cold?) take on people that are over 30 and single... I look forward to the responses from people in that category lol. PS. He's returning to streaming today or tomorrow.
31, Single. I just kinda like my own space tbh. Ive never really clicked with anyone who was ok with that. Which, you know, is fine. Makes my unhealthy attraction to red flags super accessible. Not having the joint income debt is fucking bliss too. So thats a plus.
I don’t think I fit any of the descriptions he makes (but if I do and don’t realize I’m really fucked...). They could be more common among women than men in that category. I’m just neurotic and really don’t have an interest in starting a family. I also enjoy meeting new people.
Expect yes, ask no not really, different relationships work for different people, Destiny's conversation with the FilthyRobot dude did a REALLLY good job at exploring power or responsibility imbalances in relationships
I feel like they're arguing two different things though. If your partner asks if you want to do something and you just say you don't want to do something, then do something else at that point in time - that's totally fine. If your partner asks if you can do something at X time and you say you can't because "you're busy" but have no actual plans, then do something at that time it's valid for them to think you're prioritizing Y activity over them - but that's just raw communication problems cause you're too much of a coward to flat out say "not interested" instead of "busy". Being "busy" is literally you saying you have something more important to do in that time slot. It's a time construct.
True but but thats the majority you are talking about... how fucking hard it is to find someone that is independant but sometimes feel the need to depend...
you can if you dont have aphantasia or something. i've done it many times when i was away from home. sometimes when im feeling for a more kinky scenario, it works better since porn rarely exists so specifically.
What is your favorite food? -Steak. -Bullshit, I saw you yesterday and you were eating pasta - Yeah, cause I wanted to eat pasta, I felt like eating pasta, but it is not my favorite food - Why don't you want to eat the same thing everyday if you love it so much. - Dunno.
If that is about whether your partner wants to do something with you, the best is to be honest. Just say that I don't like that activity/don't feel like doing this or don't feel like doing this with you. I think vagueness is often the reason why people start doubting in their partner. Honestly, I don't know couples who would be offended by that.
The fact that she couldn't understand that a dude doing X without her doesn't mean he doesn't love her anymore tells me everything I need to know about them.
This is maddening but at least hearing someone defend this thought process proves that some people do think this way. Partners will act like that but fall back on "you can do what you want!" Line knowing damn well you can't do what you want without making them feel slighted.
Lmao. This is an issue that happens for gay men in relationships too. Being in a relationship changes the interpersonal dynamic for some people because relationships mean drastically different things for different people. Chill on the incel rhetoric, your hurt is showing.
A person might be a narcissist, if personal slight is taken every time when unable to get their way and enact best laid plans. Or just highly prone to inductive reasoning from imagined, and even manufactured symbolism. Either way 🚩
Even in the context of a relationship no one owes you their time all of the time. It’s like saying that men should have complete access to women’s bodies within the context of a relationship and it’s automatically consensual and if you aren’t really in the mood to have sex then you just don’t love them enough. This is a manipulative, controlling, toxic behavior on all fronts. I can’t stand women who treat their significant others like they own their time. That’s abusive af.
Barring you're really really sick or something, why tf wouldn't you want to get your partner off all the time. I would understand if someone cheated on me because I got complacent.
literally just broke up with my girlfriends just because she couldn't grasp that me not wanting to do something with her doesn't mean I don't love her. I swear a lot of women are gonna end up single over nothing.
It's cus a lot of 'em probs either grew up seeing that, experiencing that or just need actual help/therapy but don't get it for whatever reason. So many relationships can work out if the others either had worked on their issues together/alone. But habits and cycles are hard to break :/ Ik it took me ages to get over the whole separation anxiety cus I had abusive exes. But it's such a long process.
"trash can liners in the bathroom is glad propaganda" not the exact quote, but I was under the impression that everyone used plastic shopping bags they already had anyways
I dunno, grocery bags get little tears here and there from cereal boxes and stuff, so some gross smelly liquid can leak out. I do the opposite - I buy trash bags, but use one cloth grocery bag.
Like what @a cat said, it's pretty normal for women now to call dudes "daddy" unprompted and no one has a issue with it. I think we need to stop acting weird and armchairy about preferences/fetishes, not every girl who calls their man "daddy" has father issues and not every dude who likes "mommydom" has mother issues and finally not everything that has to do with those things has to do with with deep rooted incest fantasies lol
@@yomommamonkey Talking about it is pretty much saying it's a weird and alieanates it though, right? If daddy is common mommy should be the same, not really my cup of tea but it seems weird for one to be "you gotta talk about this before", and the other to be just normal everyday flirting.
Spotting dumb is easy, but spotting irrational is more difficult. People can be really smart and seem rational only to keep the thinking abilities but throw reason in the trash when it suits them.
Im pretty introverted and have anxiety issues so i get tired really easy from socializing and need my alone time. Just bc i dont feel like socializing with someone doesnt mean i hate them. Also this is not a "guy problem" im a woman and many other women dont want to spend 24/7 with their partners
I think what Boze was talking about specifically would be you saying you don't wanna socialise with them and then being "caught" socialising with someone else
I can relate, work drains all of the socializing I have in me anyway. Need the quiet bubble after that. Not all the time, but just often enough to make most relationships a nightmare, even when properly explained in the first place. But, eh, what can you do.
@@nev8337 I'm kinda odd cus when i'm down/exhausted socially n whatnot, most of the time I don't mind if it's my partner around especially if we're just vibing (not having a full on convo/doing smth together). I'm very content in just presence, I don't need to do shit.
As another introverted woman, I can very much relate. I'm really glad that I found my fiance who doesn't seem to mind that sometimes I like to spend time on my own enjoying hobbies, video games or whatever. I'd hate to feel guilty for liking a bit of me time just because I'm very introverted. But I understand the point Boze was making as well which is a different thing altogether imo.
@@sommerblume9671 Yeah, I can agree with that, presence is more than ok, even just hanging out and having conversations. I feel like it's not the same kind of energy you're using, being myself at home with someone I trust. But everything else feels like a hassle. Going out, seeing people, some nights even buying groceries feels like a lot. That might just be me tho, idk man, I just need time to recharge the social battery.
I have noticed that not only women, but a lot of people in general tend to think people say things while "obviously" trying to say something else, and me being the most literal person I know, it's both amusing and extremely annoying because apparently people tend to think all sorts of things about me.
@@aarontrudel9947 Idk if this is a dumb take but, do you think this shit happens in other languages as much as english where there isn't clear indication of tone, so many multiple meanings and context n shit with how we talk and even type? Plus even in memes I see shit like 'if he/she says this... sorry girl/man' or whatever.
@@sommerblume9671 in my experience it's more to do with insecurity and/or the way women tend to use subtlety to make a point. (I'm sure men do this to, I just don't date them lol)
I don’t understand getting upset over your boyfriend wanting to do other things. If you need your partner to hold spending time with you as priority number 1 all the time, you have some serious insecurity issues and probably shouldn’t be in a relationship anyway.
@@shrisiva4016 I don’t know, I’m a woman but I’ve definitely known men that were basically leashed by their girlfriend and couldn’t hang out as much because of this issue. But I’ve definitely also been with men that tried to guilt me about having a life independent of him too so I don’t think it’s just a woman problem.
It's called Borderline Personality Disorder. Constantly needing approval or signs of affection on a regular basis, otherwise the whole idea of yourself is compromised, and you will feel like you're not worth anything. People with BPD don't have a stable sense of themselves. If you call a regular person an asshole, their response would likely be something like "ah fuck you asshole". If you do the same to a person with BPD, they will most likely start questioning themselves like "am I really an asshole"? And it becomes a whole thing in their minds that is hard to deal with.
tbh it seems more like bad communication than actually being mad that they don't want to hangout all the time. When you ask someone if they want to hangout, most people lie about it instead of just saying that they'd rather do x instead. When the other person finds out they've lied, that's when they get mad about it. Mostly it seems like the lies are the problem, not the fact that you want to do something else.
I am a man over 30 and single. One of the common questions I get from people is, "How are you still single?" To which I respond, "You don't know me well enough yet, in time the answer will be obvious." For the most part, I think Destiny's assessment is correct. As time passes you get accustomed to certain behaviors that make getting into a relationship more difficult. Even if you identify these behavioral patterns they can require a lot of work to break. For example, I am constantly told that I need to "make a move", but when it comes to personal things I tend to be a very passive person. To complicate this further, I also don't find assertive people that attractive as a romantic partner. Furthermore, you can also grow accustomed to being alone. Sometimes I find myself wishing that had someone to share intimate moments with or watch a movie with, but other times I am happy there is no one to eat up my time or be annoyed at me for my messy room.
@@PoonDaddyEric Passivity = weakness Women don't make the first move. If you're male, you're responsible for initiating relationships. That's also why you don't find assertiveness attractive, because it's a masculine-typical characteristic. What you're effectively saying is that you don't want to do anything difficult. Although to be fair, you already pointed out that you just don't want to make the effort to change your behaviour.
there's a lot of life circumstances that can lead you there, but I think what they're saying is that having an otherwise normal life (with no external circumstances stopping them), people at 30 probably either have a reason to be single themselves, or are the reason they're single also i'm 26 and haven't had a date since i was 17 so i'm probably heading there, and i'm definitely in the 2nd category cause I don't think I'd be an interesting/fun person to date/be in a relationship with, so rip
As a cis-het woman...this is NOT a man problem 🤦🏽♀️ It's a confidence problem on the part of the one offended that a partner doesn't want to spend every moment of their life with their partner. I cringed so hard with their offense at that. PS: who doesn't use trashcan liners?!?! You don't even need to buy them for smaller bathroom cans, you just reuse Kroger/Food Lion bags!
no I think it's just really hard for someone who wants to spend every moment with the other person that the other person not wanting to do that means they love you less, I think it's more of a combatibility thing
As someone who cleaned homes for quite a few years, I can say that the trend (amongst upper middle-class) is that women are significantly messier than guys around the house. No contest. This extends beyond trash and having clothes thrown everywhere as well to just being generally cluttered. Guys arranged their living environments to be very minimal and spacious while women arranged them to be sporadic and closed, filled with knick knacks. That stereotype of guys having next to no furniture or ornamental material absolutely held true in my experience as well. As a guy, I can say that I do the stereotypical stuff. I want to reduce the amount of time I spend engaging in chores around the house, so I keep things tidy as I go. Everything has a place, an order of operations and is put away after use. If something is not actively being used in a room, I want it put in storage or thrown out. I don't know how people live in cluttered environments. It stresses me out. Function over form everytime.
I’m the same but we have to acknowledge dudes as roommates can be fucking disgusting with kitchen hygiene, trash disposal and general cleanliness (I.e. not leaving shit out after cooking or other use)
@@MeowingWhale diffusion of responsibility and whatnot… I’ve lived with many roommates, men and women both, the bigger the group the greater the need to simply assign chores. The women keep their rooms in a permanent state of disarray & the men are organized, but the common spaces suffer no matter what
Not OCD, its not a repeated behavior/routine. Sounds like just a random paranoid thought. Destiny does seem to have trust issues especially relating to people hes just met (not without reason).
@@Okamikirby People with OCD often have a compulsion (behavior) for certain rituals because of intrusive, debilitating obsessions (thought), for example that if they don’t keep their room a certain way their entire family will die or something.
I really feel Steven on that thing of "liking dumb everyday things" - I love rubbing my partner's cheeks, or just hugging them around the waist etc. It means so much to me romantically.
The frequently having to explain to women that doing something without them isn’t an affront to them is so accurate. Every girlfriend I’ve ever had has pulled that shit.
@@Martin-wb8bc consider yourself lucky. The one good relationship I had was like that. We both could do our own things without the other getting upset and whatever else
I can see how incel and mgtow communities bloom from this cause I read these comments and I'm like truuuuue! She even acknowledges it! But flip that around and imagine dating steven for a moment or someone steven like. Not that every guy is like steven but I think a lot of guys can be cold and detached and obsessive about their hobbies. Its not about saying either behavior is right or wrong but at least making an attempt to see what might motivate it. Honestly its why I'm much more content single. Its not a mgtow or anti woman thing and more about acknowledging and hopefully long term working on my own shortcomings.
This line from Boze is hilarious, "If I tell you to do something 3-5 the next day, but you are busy from 3 - 5... Then the next day from 3-5 you're hanging out with someone else, you're fucked!" In other words, if you tell her you're busy... Then the next day she sees you are in fact busy and told her the truth... you're fucked. Lmao
Wow her perspective on the loving things more than her thing is so toxic. It's totally ok for a man or anyone to want to do stuff alone or with different people. It doesn't mean you don't love them or you love the other thing or person more. I can't believe people don't understand this.
The first 2 years of my marriage, the wife used to be on my ass constantly if I was gaming at night instead of hanging with her, despite the fact that if I'd stop, she would just put on headphones and watch her Korean drama and I would sit there like.... really? Fast forward 10 years, she doesn't give a shit what I do with my free time as long as it isn't illegal or expensive.
I am 53. I suppose I do not match the "single" thing because I was married in my 20s. What I have found among the women that I know is that if we've been married, particularly for a long period of time, we do not want to get married again. The reasons for this are many. If we get married it will hurt the amount of social security benefits we are eligible for, or other pension plans that were earned during our marriage, that is one of the biggest reasons I have heard from other divorced women about their desire not to remarry. Personally, I cannot imagine getting married again, not because of the social security thing, because I was not married for multiple decades to accrue benefits in that regard. I own my home. I have my own stuff. I am leaving my stuff to my son. If I were to get married that could become complicated. I also do not like to answer for how I spend my time. I have found that men expect me to answer for how I do things, where I go, etc etc etc, and it really annoys the fuck out of me. There have been studies about why women over 40 do not get remarried. It used to be thought that they were desperate and clingy. Most of the time it is because we do not want to get remarried for some of the reasons I have outlined above. In other words, it is women that do not want to commit as they get older. Not men. And if you look at the statistics, men are much more likely to get remarried than women are, that's because they're needy. They need someone to cook and clean and organize their lives. This is why married men live longer than single men.
are most men like that or what? this clingyness is such a meme I keep hearing about, but I'm a guy that runs his own home with cleaning/cooking/chores I don't need anyone else to organize it for me
@@crystyxn I am just pointing out that statistically speaking men that are married live longer than men that are not. The theory behind why this is so is because women take care of men. They make sure they eat better, nag them about their weight, remind them to take their cholesterol medication, and schedule doctor's appointments for them. The group that lives the longest of all though are unmarried women. Here is how it is ranked: Unmarried women Married men Married women Unmarried men. From a longevity perspective it is most advantageous to be an unmarried woman. Unmarried women do not prioritize the health of others over their own. At least that is the theory. Stress is a killer as well. BTW, there are plenty of men that can take care of themselves and do. I don't know why you would be offended that lots of men don't take care of themselves. And the new Millennial generation will probably change up a lot of what is currently true about relationships, stress, and longevity. We are talking about current old people, not future ones. Basically, there is no need to feel condemned by my point. I don't feel condemned by Destiny's observations, which are largely untrue for me.
@@robertmarlow6674 That used to be the thought, that women were desperate to be married after 40 and it was their sexual attractiveness as to why they didn't get remarried. The sociological data is very clear that this isn't the primary reason why older women do not remarry into their 40s. Most women in this age bracket have their own homes, they have security that they've built for themselves. They do not feel the need to get into relationships because relationships require lots of energy. Whenever men show interest in me it surprises me because my head isn't there. I don't have any desire to be involved with anyone because my experiences in relationships they largely suck. If it had been better I wouldn't be single now. I am not putting down getting married, it just didn't work for me. It doesn't work for a lot of older women. Being married is a lot of stress and pressure and it isn't fun. Without the desire to have kids I don't see the point. Since older women can't have kids they often see marriage as pointless. That is according to the sociological data. They've done a lot of research as to why women do not get remarried. Women who want to get remarried usually do. There is someone out there that will marry you if that is your primary goal and you aren't picky. Lots of men in my age group are looking for a nurse, not a mate.
Having to be the priority in another person's life, every second of every day, is toxically needy. Trying to make the other person feel guilty for not living up to that unreasonable expectation and demand that they love you on your terms instead of their own, means you don't accept them as they are, and that's just PURE toxicity.
Ugh 42 and single 10 years- a natural rebel. Also, fairly certain I'm asexual or forever traumatized against relationships after 15 yr miserable marriage.
@@timothys820 Wow! I didn't expect to get such kind replies. I think I am healed? Idk, probably not ;) its like I'm so happy that I'm terrified even going on a date would screw that up for me. I don't miss sex at all anymore and (so far) I still have my 10-yr-old (divorced when I was pregnant) for cuddles. :)
"What do you have to explain to women?" "Destiny explains some space insecurities to a women" "The women doesn't get it" "Me, well there you go..next question"
i think it´s important to have solid bases in life, like being healthy in mind and the physical and have good habits, being independent/being able to take care of yourself. knowing what you want being able to trial and error what you want etc. before you have a serious relationship.
Steven talking about guy's haircut is spot on. After i left the hairdresser the other day i felt really good like i could walk up to random women and ask them on a date or some shit. Huge self-esteem boost.
I feel so fucking called out for having mommy issues. I have called every woman I have dated mommy. You start sneaking it in as a joke and they let their guard down.... then boom next thing she knows i got her spanking me for being a bad boy.
I feel like I'll be over 30 and single not because I'm clingy or possessive but because I'm just apathetic to dating. Like, I've gone 3 years without dating anyone, I don't feel like dating anyone, and when a girl asks if I'm single I'll just say I'm not looking for a date but don't mind just connecting with people whether or not it leads to anything. Maybe it's just the women in my life are used to meeting people specifically for the purpose of dating them and don't want to deal with it being any other way.
8:10 As a man during covid, I also kinda do this: After breakfast I wear a comfy outfit that I could go out the door with if really needed, then somewhere in the afternoon I put on better looking clothes to go outside or just to feel less sluggish, and after diner I'll put on my most comfy outfit. It doesn't make my clothes need to be washed more often though, if anything it takes longer for my nice outfit to get dirty and my comfy outfits don't need to be washed that much more either.
It’s funny when interviewers have a somewhat good question but ask it in such a poor way it can only receive and contrite response because the answer is so obvious.
I just don't wanna feel like I missed out. That's the only reason I personally have. I can love my partner with all my heart, but I worry about being old and feeling like I didn't experience all that I could
@ghost robles not married or anything yet. I'm saying in the general sense. Id like to get married eventually, but I feel this way. I agree with you; it is wrong. But this is a very honest answer on why I'd cheat in a marriage or something
@@seanster625 you are missing out on things 24/7... people everywhere are doing things you aren't... the "fear of missing out" thing just never made sense to me... no matter how anybody rationalizes it, i just don't get it... granted, i grew up in extreme poverty (by USA standards, so not so bad concerning worldwide standards, ill admit) and missing out was my entire experience growing up.. a silver lining i realize at times, growing up so poor
@@allenwilliams7367 Not everyone believes in, wants/needs or can afford marriage lol. Dunno why in 2021 that's still considered a hallmark of a relationship.
I love my wife of 13 years and counting very much, but I ain't doin everything with her and she doesn't do everything with me. Its good that way, because it gives you some time apart, so that you can miss each other instead of being stuck with one another for 24/7/365. If your expectation of "love" is "spending every waking moment with me and only me" you have modelled your egomaniac personality disorder into a relationship goal. It aint healthy and you aint gonna be happy, ever.
I'm only 20 but holy shit I feel like I'm going to end up being 30 and single without ever dating anyone or perusing a relationship because they're too much effort and I'm a truly lazy and complacent person.
@@EnricoRodolico Good luck to you in being a part time parent. Be a good dad and send those child support payments and if you are lucky she will let you see the child every once in a while.
I feel like it depends on whether your partner asks you to do things with them often or not. Like if she's asking you to do something with her every other day, you just HAVE to say no sometimes-- that's life. On the other hand if she only asks you for something once a month, it would be pretty hurtful to turn her down or not at least reschedule. Everyone can handle doing something with their partner they're not excited about once in a while as a kindness to them. But yeah, there's a limit.
Yeah, I’m with destiny on the “not spending all your time with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them” take. Say I like basketball and my partner doesn’t care about it. I have two tickets to a basketball game and a friend who loves basketball and has always wanted to go to a basketball game. I’m supposed to give the other ticket to someone who won’t even enjoy the game, because it means I don’t love her if I give it to my buddy who actually wants to see the game? I don’t know Boze and have no reason to think anything negative about her, but that’s such a controlling and possessive mindset and I don’t like it
On that trash can liner point, what my family hs done for as long as I can remember is for those small trash cans in a bathroom or bedroom or whatever, instead of using actual trash bags just save plastic grocery bags from when you get groceries and use those instead it saves money and you actually have some use for those bags instead of just immediately throwing them away once you get home Edit: literally unpaused it after writing this and the next sentence was about if he uses grocery bags
The plastic bags give you a false sense of security, I can’t count the amount of times where i’ve ran out of actual liners, used a flimsy bag and found wet bullshit in my trashcan
6:50 The happies place I’ve ever lived was on my mud hill in the backyard when I was a toddler! I like a nice neo-abandoned building aesthetic. Like a run down room minus the asbestos and plus a PS4.
31. Single, never had sex or kissed a girl. This is how the cookie crumbles. I’ll probably get an escort someday but i already lost all hope with women. Too bad we can’t mulligan! At least I’m a sheet metal worker and will have the money to live my life the way I want
@@jpsithlord I promise you that you're creating a self fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that you missed the boat then you'll never feel confident. If you learn to think differently you'll find people.
That first point I've found the most success tackling with a food metaphor. "Oh, pizza/butter chicken/whatever is my favorite food, but it won't be my favorite if I eat it every day for every meal and snack" sort of dialogue trees.
The “if you do something with someone else you don’t love me” bit is pretty fucked I have a life beyond my partner. If I had plans with someone else I’m not going to cancel with them just to give you attention. Unless it’s an emergency like your parents are in the hospital and you need someone to be there for you or if you’re going into labor with our child I’m probably not going to cancel plans I already had with someone else.
The reason youre single is because when he mentioned mens problems, you laughed. Womens needs and emotions are allready valued more by society and men have a very difficult time expressing and communicating ours because of how insignificant society and women like this one makes it seem. Imagine being in a relationship and expressing healthy boundaries, like not wanted to do everything with that person all the time, and them not only denying you that, but then laughing when you express that it makes you upset. Why would any guy (or person in general), want to be in a relationship with someone who clearly has no interest in understanding your perspective/needs, and who invalidates you when you express them? That is why you are single!
This might be the weirdest answer to the "what do girls do that you think is cute?" question: but, for some reason when they sort of mock or mimic like typically aggressive male stereotypes, it is really funny and cute. Like one time my gf woke up and came back into the room after peeing, and she stood in front of the mirror for a bit and was like grunting and flexing... and it was great. I think about it all the time
The grand gestures doesnt matter as much for a relationship as the small stuff. The small stuff is the most important because it shows that you care more, its easier to do 2-3 big things a year than 1-2 small things a day for that year. This is how I look at them only doing big stuff means that they dont care at all but want to seem like they do, doing only small stuff means they care but they dont care about big stuff.
What this girl is describing makes me feel like i would be suffocating in this relationship, its ok to have separate lives if you wanna spend your whole life with this person you gotta have something else to do and go to. Even just to change a perspective, experience something else once in a while
I am over 30 and singal, I remember saying if you live without something long enough u learn to live without out it. I feel as if I could handle a relationship I know how to socialize with women and cooperate with others. The reason I dont date is because I want to loose weight and be at my best befor dating.
Nothing wrong with that in theory. Being on your own let's you regulate your diet and exercise much more easily. But you can also easily enable bad habits or feel too comfortable with the loneliness to try. After my last serious relationship (5 years) I felt motivated and exercised hard daily and made my own healthyish meals but it is easy to slide back into that feeling of indifference. But good luck on the self improvement!
Dude. You are literally procrastinating dating. Stop making excuses and socialize with women. Maybe you will get thinner, but you will be older. so it is w/e. Experience is good.
@@dlugi4198 Ah fuck you're right oldness! The worst dating attribute! Must rush for relationship now, or no one will EVER want me! I dunno man, I never got the big deal of a relationship. It just seems like a social norm that is forced on others. If someone didn't want to date, or did not want to be a in relationship I don't see how that's unhealthy. Especially when I have seen plenty of people panic and try to rush into things, or are now unhappy with the person they are with, but the mentality of: "Oh well you're over 30 now, so you best stay with that person. Cause don't be single and 30.". Life is messy, and weird. Everyone has their own shit, and that's why I think this really broad label here is a really shit take.
Eh im not offended by the over 30 and single comments, but that's really not me. The stuff that destiny talked about earlier in the video, about why he's swearing off relationships after Melina... that's pretty much exactly why I've chosen not to get into a relationship in the last 3 years. Edit: and to be clear, im not mtgow or anything. It's not a women issue, it's a me issue.
Only reason i can see myself being single when I’m over 30 would be i got add for sexual partners, i hate the thought of settling on 1 person, i guess a open relationship like stevens would be a possibility
I’ve found working 3rd shift I usually stay up late playing video games with other people and have actually met some women that way. But yeah it’s pretty bad.
Holy moly if we did everything together all of the time, I would murder my partner. Not only that, holy moly that kind of emotional manipulation because you won't spend every waking minute with me is so toxic. This is a person you dont want in your life
Preferring thing A over thing B does not mean that you prefer thing A over thing B at every point in time. In more "mathy" terms, A>B does not imply for all t, A_t > B_t. Priorities can change depending on your need for variety, too. For instance, I definitely prefer ice cream to broccoli, but if I have just had 5 pints in a row and am given the choice again, I would definitely choose the broccoli instead of the ice cream. A similar thing can happen with your significant other, where things much lower on the preference list take priority at certain times.
i think most people who aren't in intimate relationships aren't in them for a good reason because they aren't cut out for it, sure there might be a few that probably would be good in an intimate relationship and they just happened to get caught up with people who aren't cut out for intimate relationships and then kinda gave up but maybe eventually they run into a good one eventually as things just happen and if you're cut out to be in one then chances you'll just happen to get into one wether you're trying or not is pretty high. the tricky thing though is that i don't think people realise if they are or aren't cut out to be in an intimate relationship.
err what if you are over 30 and your partner breaks up with you - not bc you’re too clingy etc. just bc you want different things or don’t get on anymore etc.? or they finally got out of an abusive relationship? there’s a million reasons someone could be single
@@mezzb Yeah his criticisms didnt apply to me at all. I'm just currently out of a long term relationship with not much interest in starting a new one at this point. Just kinda focusing on my self and my career right now. I'm sure I'll want to jump back into dating at some point but Covid hasnt made that easy.. I do go long stretches usually between relationships though, like 2-3 years of being single. I'm pretty happy being single though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hearing all these requirements of how I should change myself in order to be able to date is really interesting. Imagine finding someone attractive because they're exactly like everyone else. In my own experience, I've always felt attracted to people who were their own unique personalities. People who pretend to be mainstream can maybe get a higher chance to attract others but they'll never be happy in those relationships anyways in my opinion. You'll just attract a mainstream person, not a person you can actually like, and with time you're gonna drop your act and turn them off anyways (I wonder why there are so many divorces). I guess this works if you just look for sex but I can just pay for sex, why would I date only for sex? Not to mention how incredibly fucking toxic this "dating advice" shit is altogether. You're basically creating a social stigma. I thought we were liberals here, all about protecting people's natural identity, getting rid of social stigmas. I say pursue a relationship if it feels natural to you. Don't feel obligated by insecure dumbfucks not to be single at any point in your life. Don't let them make you depressed. The people who shame you for being single are way unhappier than you. Want proof? They talk about your life and you don't talk about theirs. Just be yourself. (sorry for my imperfect English)
I’ve been in heated arguments over TP consumption. There is a sink and soap there for a reason, you don’t need 15 sheets of TP just to protect your hand from a drop of urine
15:00 "when your feeling lonely what do you do" literally laughed out loud and said nothing. it just comes and goes in waves. if you stay busy enough it goes away eventually for me at least
everyone in the comments is joking and having a laugh, but i was there for this live and im over 30 and single and it honestly hurt to hear but i suppose its true, i wouldnt be single if i wasnt messed up in some way i guess. I left the stream after he said that, not lying.
Not necessarily. There are tons of reasons why u can be single over 30 and most of them are not as bad as Destiny makes them. He is mostly reducing it to the few negative experiences he had with such women. Sometimes you can be single over 30, just because there aren't people compatible with you in your surroundings, which doesn't mean there is something wrong about you
@@stef4oben88 in my case, it is exactly what he said it was. I am a man. I have made some poor life choices so the blame is all on me. I don't have hope any more so I just exist.
Destiny drops a hot(cold?) take on people that are over 30 and single... I look forward to the responses from people in that category lol.
PS. He's returning to streaming today or tomorrow.
Today or tomorrow? How about right into my feeeed right now.
Righ my feeeeeeddd
31, Single. I just kinda like my own space tbh. Ive never really clicked with anyone who was ok with that. Which, you know, is fine. Makes my unhealthy attraction to red flags super accessible.
Not having the joint income debt is fucking bliss too. So thats a plus.
I don’t think I fit any of the descriptions he makes (but if I do and don’t realize I’m really fucked...). They could be more common among women than men in that category. I’m just neurotic and really don’t have an interest in starting a family. I also enjoy meeting new people.
Yeah, I'm 30 and single but that's because I just don't wanna be in a relationship atm... been single for like 4 years now and it's great
I'm over 30 and single so I didn't watch but just wanted to say I disagree and feel attacked
based
Yes
Over 30 and single is only a problem for women.
You're too clingy bro
Or just ugly 🤷♂️
It IS toxic to expect your partner to want to do EVERYTHING with you, it's hyper insecure and suffocating.
Just finished that part. bruh. Unbelievable stuff to witness in real time.
It's actually what therapists say too. Partners should be allowed to have their own boundaries.
Expect yes, ask no not really, different relationships work for different people, Destiny's conversation with the FilthyRobot dude did a REALLLY good job at exploring power or responsibility imbalances in relationships
I feel like they're arguing two different things though. If your partner asks if you want to do something and you just say you don't want to do something, then do something else at that point in time - that's totally fine. If your partner asks if you can do something at X time and you say you can't because "you're busy" but have no actual plans, then do something at that time it's valid for them to think you're prioritizing Y activity over them - but that's just raw communication problems cause you're too much of a coward to flat out say "not interested" instead of "busy". Being "busy" is literally you saying you have something more important to do in that time slot. It's a time construct.
True but but thats the majority you are talking about... how fucking hard it is to find someone that is independant but sometimes feel the need to depend...
On the question "Do men ever imagine porn instead of watching?", some chatter said "No, I'm not that powerful" lol.
you can if you dont have aphantasia or something. i've done it many times when i was away from home. sometimes when im feeling for a more kinky scenario, it works better since porn rarely exists so specifically.
Y'all need to get a life
After the first yogurt explosion i can put away porn and just close my eyes imagining a woman's body and rub out the finale.
@@coffeepot3123 what
@@Revelatus You know..
ManMayo, SeaSpray, WhiteRopes, GhostGoo, Ranch Dressing, Angel tears.
Pay attention in class sunny.
The editor shall be given 50 lashes for failing to provide timestamps.
Just watch the whole thing, I rarely watch his full videos but this one is worth watching from start to finish
its a short vid watch the whole thing
No man, that's too many
1.5x speed helps
@@TimPortantno Seems fair
What is your favorite food?
-Steak.
-Bullshit, I saw you yesterday and you were eating pasta
- Yeah, cause I wanted to eat pasta, I felt like eating pasta, but it is not my favorite food
- Why don't you want to eat the same thing everyday if you love it so much.
- Dunno.
Soooooo dumb lol
(R-worded)
heh, true. all these weird insecure people not in cuck relationships. heh.
If that is about whether your partner wants to do something with you, the best is to be honest. Just say that I don't like that activity/don't feel like doing this or don't feel like doing this with you. I think vagueness is often the reason why people start doubting in their partner. Honestly, I don't know couples who would be offended by that.
you could also make a case for polygamy with this example
The fact that she couldn't understand that a dude doing X without her doesn't mean he doesn't love her anymore tells me everything I need to know about them.
especially since women do it all the time too lol.
This is maddening but at least hearing someone defend this thought process proves that some people do think this way. Partners will act like that but fall back on "you can do what you want!" Line knowing damn well you can't do what you want without making them feel slighted.
Lmao. This is an issue that happens for gay men in relationships too. Being in a relationship changes the interpersonal dynamic for some people because relationships mean drastically different things for different people. Chill on the incel rhetoric, your hurt is showing.
A person might be a narcissist, if personal slight is taken every time when unable to get their way and enact best laid plans. Or just highly prone to inductive reasoning from imagined, and even manufactured symbolism. Either way 🚩
@@MrEd8846 "I just want to have a night out with the girls, tee hee"
Even in the context of a relationship no one owes you their time all of the time. It’s like saying that men should have complete access to women’s bodies within the context of a relationship and it’s automatically consensual and if you aren’t really in the mood to have sex then you just don’t love them enough. This is a manipulative, controlling, toxic behavior on all fronts. I can’t stand women who treat their significant others like they own their time. That’s abusive af.
Such a great analogy
@@rodneythundercock Maybe he should break up with her idk
@loudnsounds a lot of time ≠ all the time
They're talking about all the time.
Barring you're really really sick or something, why tf wouldn't you want to get your partner off all the time. I would understand if someone cheated on me because I got complacent.
“Why wouldn’t you let your girlfriend cut your hair?”
Cause she doesn’t know how to cut hair!!!!
“Omg this is a men problem”
She totally drags her poor SO around pumpkin patches and shit
TBF pumpkin patches, apple orchards and farmer's markets are actually fun every now and again. But one must be careful not to do them too much.
literally just broke up with my girlfriends just because she couldn't grasp that me not wanting to do something with her doesn't mean I don't love her. I swear a lot of women are gonna end up single over nothing.
It's cus a lot of 'em probs either grew up seeing that, experiencing that or just need actual help/therapy but don't get it for whatever reason. So many relationships can work out if the others either had worked on their issues together/alone. But habits and cycles are hard to break :/ Ik it took me ages to get over the whole separation anxiety cus I had abusive exes. But it's such a long process.
They have other underlying problems
A fuck ton of men are like this also. This problem goes both ways
@@NguyenNguyen-xv8li You right
A lot of men are gonna end up single for the same reason, right?
I'm a man, over 30, single, and I'm watching this. I'm a rebel
A mad lad
What a chad
There are dozens of us!
Honestly, coming out of a marriage after 7 years at the age of 33... watching anything to do with relationships now is a brain aneurysm.
dude wtf stop
"trash can liners in the bathroom is glad propaganda" not the exact quote, but I was under the impression that everyone used plastic shopping bags they already had anyways
That's how you know someone is in a different tax bracket. my innards shrivel at the thought of buying something that I can just get for free. lol
@@into-the-weeds right? Like imagine buying a car when everyone leaves them all over the street
@@into-the-weeds desTINY is in the boUrzAzheEe
I dunno, grocery bags get little tears here and there from cereal boxes and stuff, so some gross smelly liquid can leak out. I do the opposite - I buy trash bags, but use one cloth grocery bag.
True, little trash cans get the cheapest thing possible.
If your gonna hit someone with the “mommy,” you should probably tell them before lmao
lmaooo I'm definitely calling my future gf mommy milkers
Like what @a cat said, it's pretty normal for women now to call dudes "daddy" unprompted and no one has a issue with it. I think we need to stop acting weird and armchairy about preferences/fetishes, not every girl who calls their man "daddy" has father issues and not every dude who likes "mommydom" has mother issues and finally not everything that has to do with those things has to do with with deep rooted incest fantasies lol
@@WhoBlah21 I’m just saying talk about it before you do it. Not saying it’s wrong.
@@WhoBlah21 bruh dude said rub his stomach counter clockwise
@@yomommamonkey Talking about it is pretty much saying it's a weird and alieanates it though, right? If daddy is common mommy should be the same, not really my cup of tea but it seems weird for one to be "you gotta talk about this before", and the other to be just normal everyday flirting.
Spotting dumb is easy, but spotting irrational is more difficult. People can be really smart and seem rational only to keep the thinking abilities but throw reason in the trash when it suits them.
Or can be both irrational and smart on the same topic. Its weird AF.
Everyone is irrational, and not even consistently irrational.
@@Okamikirby Sadly true.
I'm irrational ong
If you can define intelligence- let alone identify it- you get a chocolate fish.
Im 29 and single. Phew safe
Same 29 and single 😂
Im pretty introverted and have anxiety issues so i get tired really easy from socializing and need my alone time. Just bc i dont feel like socializing with someone doesnt mean i hate them. Also this is not a "guy problem" im a woman and many other women dont want to spend 24/7 with their partners
I think what Boze was talking about specifically would be you saying you don't wanna socialise with them and then being "caught" socialising with someone else
I can relate, work drains all of the socializing I have in me anyway. Need the quiet bubble after that. Not all the time, but just often enough to make most relationships a nightmare, even when properly explained in the first place. But, eh, what can you do.
@@nev8337 I'm kinda odd cus when i'm down/exhausted socially n whatnot, most of the time I don't mind if it's my partner around especially if we're just vibing (not having a full on convo/doing smth together). I'm very content in just presence, I don't need to do shit.
As another introverted woman, I can very much relate. I'm really glad that I found my fiance who doesn't seem to mind that sometimes I like to spend time on my own enjoying hobbies, video games or whatever. I'd hate to feel guilty for liking a bit of me time just because I'm very introverted.
But I understand the point Boze was making as well which is a different thing altogether imo.
@@sommerblume9671 Yeah, I can agree with that, presence is more than ok, even just hanging out and having conversations. I feel like it's not the same kind of energy you're using, being myself at home with someone I trust. But everything else feels like a hassle. Going out, seeing people, some nights even buying groceries feels like a lot. That might just be me tho, idk man, I just need time to recharge the social battery.
"What do you frequently have to explain to women?"
- I mean what I said, not what you think I said.
I have noticed that not only women, but a lot of people in general tend to think people say things while "obviously" trying to say something else, and me being the most literal person I know, it's both amusing and extremely annoying because apparently people tend to think all sorts of things about me.
@@beo3828 yeah it's especially apparent in online political circles, in a more bad faith context
@@aarontrudel9947 Idk if this is a dumb take but, do you think this shit happens in other languages as much as english where there isn't clear indication of tone, so many multiple meanings and context n shit with how we talk and even type? Plus even in memes I see shit like 'if he/she says this... sorry girl/man' or whatever.
So what you're saying is ... ?
@@sommerblume9671 in my experience it's more to do with insecurity and/or the way women tend to use subtlety to make a point. (I'm sure men do this to, I just don't date them lol)
I don’t understand getting upset over your boyfriend wanting to do other things. If you need your partner to hold spending time with you as priority number 1 all the time, you have some serious insecurity issues and probably shouldn’t be in a relationship anyway.
Yeah I don't guys generally care if thier partners did this to them, seems like a non issue tbh
@@shrisiva4016 I don’t know, I’m a woman but I’ve definitely known men that were basically leashed by their girlfriend and couldn’t hang out as much because of this issue. But I’ve definitely also been with men that tried to guilt me about having a life independent of him too so I don’t think it’s just a woman problem.
It's called Borderline Personality Disorder. Constantly needing approval or signs of affection on a regular basis, otherwise the whole idea of yourself is compromised, and you will feel like you're not worth anything. People with BPD don't have a stable sense of themselves. If you call a regular person an asshole, their response would likely be something like "ah fuck you asshole". If you do the same to a person with BPD, they will most likely start questioning themselves like "am I really an asshole"? And it becomes a whole thing in their minds that is hard to deal with.
tbh it seems more like bad communication than actually being mad that they don't want to hangout all the time. When you ask someone if they want to hangout, most people lie about it instead of just saying that they'd rather do x instead. When the other person finds out they've lied, that's when they get mad about it. Mostly it seems like the lies are the problem, not the fact that you want to do something else.
@@Rebella1337 That is a pretty extreme take to say any relationship that has this issue has a member with a mental illness straight out of the DSM V.
I am a man over 30 and single. One of the common questions I get from people is, "How are you still single?" To which I respond, "You don't know me well enough yet, in time the answer will be obvious."
For the most part, I think Destiny's assessment is correct. As time passes you get accustomed to certain behaviors that make getting into a relationship more difficult. Even if you identify these behavioral patterns they can require a lot of work to break. For example, I am constantly told that I need to "make a move", but when it comes to personal things I tend to be a very passive person. To complicate this further, I also don't find assertive people that attractive as a romantic partner.
Furthermore, you can also grow accustomed to being alone. Sometimes I find myself wishing that had someone to share intimate moments with or watch a movie with, but other times I am happy there is no one to eat up my time or be annoyed at me for my messy room.
@ghost robles LOL! Tell me more Red Skull!
@@PoonDaddyEric Passivity = weakness
Women don't make the first move. If you're male, you're responsible for initiating relationships. That's also why you don't find assertiveness attractive, because it's a masculine-typical characteristic.
What you're effectively saying is that you don't want to do anything difficult. Although to be fair, you already pointed out that you just don't want to make the effort to change your behaviour.
@@lachlanbell8390 good one step bro
@@lachlanbell8390 idk man... ur assertive? Soundin kinda like a.... BEYTAAAAAA
@@craigcraig6248 Is that a Jesse Lee Peterson reference?
Im
there's a lot of life circumstances that can lead you there, but I think what they're saying is that having an otherwise normal life (with no external circumstances stopping them), people at 30 probably either have a reason to be single themselves, or are the reason they're single
also i'm 26 and haven't had a date since i was 17 so i'm probably heading there, and i'm definitely in the 2nd category cause I don't think I'd be an interesting/fun person to date/be in a relationship with, so rip
@@SkyraM If you’re a fan of destiny, you’re definitely capable of interesting conversation. Have some faith
As a cis-het woman...this is NOT a man problem 🤦🏽♀️ It's a confidence problem on the part of the one offended that a partner doesn't want to spend every moment of their life with their partner. I cringed so hard with their offense at that.
PS: who doesn't use trashcan liners?!?! You don't even need to buy them for smaller bathroom cans, you just reuse Kroger/Food Lion bags!
no I think it's just really hard for someone who wants to spend every moment with the other person that the other person not wanting to do that means they love you less, I think it's more of a combatibility thing
lol cis het
@@Mdmbchdr not spicy enough for you?
Yeah also anybody who cares what your partner does with their body is also unconfidant and jealous
Definitely! There’s nothing more unappealing to me than a man that doesn’t give me space. Clinginess from either side is not healthy.
As someone who cleaned homes for quite a few years, I can say that the trend (amongst upper middle-class) is that women are significantly messier than guys around the house. No contest. This extends beyond trash and having clothes thrown everywhere as well to just being generally cluttered. Guys arranged their living environments to be very minimal and spacious while women arranged them to be sporadic and closed, filled with knick knacks. That stereotype of guys having next to no furniture or ornamental material absolutely held true in my experience as well.
As a guy, I can say that I do the stereotypical stuff. I want to reduce the amount of time I spend engaging in chores around the house, so I keep things tidy as I go. Everything has a place, an order of operations and is put away after use. If something is not actively being used in a room, I want it put in storage or thrown out.
I don't know how people live in cluttered environments. It stresses me out. Function over form everytime.
I’m the same but we have to acknowledge dudes as roommates can be fucking disgusting with kitchen hygiene, trash disposal and general cleanliness (I.e. not leaving shit out after cooking or other use)
@@MeowingWhale diffusion of responsibility and whatnot… I’ve lived with many roommates, men and women both, the bigger the group the greater the need to simply assign chores. The women keep their rooms in a permanent state of disarray & the men are organized, but the common spaces suffer no matter what
@@bruhdabones facts
The story about thinking the girl would rob him sounds like an intrusive OCD thought.
why did you have to say it ;-;
Oh no
Not OCD, its not a repeated behavior/routine. Sounds like just a random paranoid thought. Destiny does seem to have trust issues especially relating to people hes just met (not without reason).
@@Okamikirby People with OCD often have a compulsion (behavior) for certain rituals because of intrusive, debilitating obsessions (thought), for example that if they don’t keep their room a certain way their entire family will die or something.
@@superporpcola165 Im aware, but unless these intrusive thoughts lead to repeated compulsive behaviors they don’t classify under OCD.
phew almost couldn't watch this thank god i'm only single
Happy 29th birthday btw bro
@@depecher6s311 homie down terrible
I really feel Steven on that thing of "liking dumb everyday things" - I love rubbing my partner's cheeks, or just hugging them around the waist etc. It means so much to me romantically.
Do guys and girls react differently to that??
@@annefrank4652 For the most part, I really don't think so, I think Destiny exaggerated a bit. Obviously, it depends on the person, y'know?
this the only reason being single still hurts me
I’ve reached a point to where holding hands while going on a walk is more important and validating than having sex.
The frequently having to explain to women that doing something without them isn’t an affront to them is so accurate. Every girlfriend I’ve ever had has pulled that shit.
lots of men are like that too though.
@@jkrt8722 They do. I feel like when men are like that it’s viewed as toxic and abusive. Women do that shit like it’s normal and okay.
I've never had that before..
@@Martin-wb8bc consider yourself lucky. The one good relationship I had was like that. We both could do our own things without the other getting upset and whatever else
I can see how incel and mgtow communities bloom from this cause I read these comments and I'm like truuuuue! She even acknowledges it! But flip that around and imagine dating steven for a moment or someone steven like. Not that every guy is like steven but I think a lot of guys can be cold and detached and obsessive about their hobbies. Its not about saying either behavior is right or wrong but at least making an attempt to see what might motivate it. Honestly its why I'm much more content single. Its not a mgtow or anti woman thing and more about acknowledging and hopefully long term working on my own shortcomings.
This line from Boze is hilarious, "If I tell you to do something 3-5 the next day, but you are busy from 3 - 5... Then the next day from 3-5 you're hanging out with someone else, you're fucked!"
In other words, if you tell her you're busy... Then the next day she sees you are in fact busy and told her the truth... you're fucked. Lmao
Trash can liner? That's the weirdest spelling of garbage bag I've ever seen.
Do you mean bin bag?
i always called it a shit can liner
lul dont kill me bro
The liner goes under the bag in case it breaks or leaks
Wow her perspective on the loving things more than her thing is so toxic. It's totally ok for a man or anyone to want to do stuff alone or with different people. It doesn't mean you don't love them or you love the other thing or person more. I can't believe people don't understand this.
She sounds so possessive
Wish my girl was like that tbh.
Destiny is extremely spot on when he talks about the bad shit that comes with living with women.
I feel like its odd that Boze sees trash liners as a giant marketing racket but doesn't see Valentine's Day as one.
Basically everything in life is marketing campaigns to condition us into new norms. Weddings is another example.
The issue with a lot of aggressive women, and likely people, is that it often comes with an inability to compromise.
They dug their own hole at this point.
aggressive women and people
According to the title of this vid I'm not supposed to be watching this, but ladies, I'm a bad boy.
ayo my man
So that mean the women you attract are bad girls ... 😈
The first 2 years of my marriage, the wife used to be on my ass constantly if I was gaming at night instead of hanging with her, despite the fact that if I'd stop, she would just put on headphones and watch her Korean drama and I would sit there like.... really?
Fast forward 10 years, she doesn't give a shit what I do with my free time as long as it isn't illegal or expensive.
Sometimes all they want is you setting boundries.
@@KaptajnKaffe fkn games bro, childish depending upon the circumstances
"You're toxic, you're contributing to men's problems."
"HAHAHAHAHA MEN'S PROBLEMS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Good non-toxic counter argument.
I am 53. I suppose I do not match the "single" thing because I was married in my 20s. What I have found among the women that I know is that if we've been married, particularly for a long period of time, we do not want to get married again. The reasons for this are many. If we get married it will hurt the amount of social security benefits we are eligible for, or other pension plans that were earned during our marriage, that is one of the biggest reasons I have heard from other divorced women about their desire not to remarry.
Personally, I cannot imagine getting married again, not because of the social security thing, because I was not married for multiple decades to accrue benefits in that regard. I own my home. I have my own stuff. I am leaving my stuff to my son. If I were to get married that could become complicated. I also do not like to answer for how I spend my time. I have found that men expect me to answer for how I do things, where I go, etc etc etc, and it really annoys the fuck out of me. There have been studies about why women over 40 do not get remarried. It used to be thought that they were desperate and clingy. Most of the time it is because we do not want to get remarried for some of the reasons I have outlined above. In other words, it is women that do not want to commit as they get older. Not men. And if you look at the statistics, men are much more likely to get remarried than women are, that's because they're needy. They need someone to cook and clean and organize their lives. This is why married men live longer than single men.
Doesn't hurt that men typically become more desirable in their 40s and women become less so.
are most men like that or what? this clingyness is such a meme I keep hearing about, but I'm a guy that runs his own home with cleaning/cooking/chores I don't need anyone else to organize it for me
@@crystyxn I am just pointing out that statistically speaking men that are married live longer than men that are not. The theory behind why this is so is because women take care of men. They make sure they eat better, nag them about their weight, remind them to take their cholesterol medication, and schedule doctor's appointments for them. The group that lives the longest of all though are unmarried women.
Here is how it is ranked:
Unmarried women
Married men
Married women
Unmarried men.
From a longevity perspective it is most advantageous to be an unmarried woman. Unmarried women do not prioritize the health of others over their own. At least that is the theory. Stress is a killer as well.
BTW, there are plenty of men that can take care of themselves and do. I don't know why you would be offended that lots of men don't take care of themselves. And the new Millennial generation will probably change up a lot of what is currently true about relationships, stress, and longevity. We are talking about current old people, not future ones. Basically, there is no need to feel condemned by my point. I don't feel condemned by Destiny's observations, which are largely untrue for me.
@@robertmarlow6674 That used to be the thought, that women were desperate to be married after 40 and it was their sexual attractiveness as to why they didn't get remarried. The sociological data is very clear that this isn't the primary reason why older women do not remarry into their 40s. Most women in this age bracket have their own homes, they have security that they've built for themselves. They do not feel the need to get into relationships because relationships require lots of energy.
Whenever men show interest in me it surprises me because my head isn't there. I don't have any desire to be involved with anyone because my experiences in relationships they largely suck. If it had been better I wouldn't be single now. I am not putting down getting married, it just didn't work for me. It doesn't work for a lot of older women. Being married is a lot of stress and pressure and it isn't fun. Without the desire to have kids I don't see the point. Since older women can't have kids they often see marriage as pointless. That is according to the sociological data. They've done a lot of research as to why women do not get remarried. Women who want to get remarried usually do. There is someone out there that will marry you if that is your primary goal and you aren't picky. Lots of men in my age group are looking for a nurse, not a mate.
@@2cleverbyhalf fair enough. i wasn't offended just never heard about this before about married men living longer
Having to be the priority in another person's life, every second of every day, is toxically needy.
Trying to make the other person feel guilty for not living up to that unreasonable expectation and demand that they love you on your terms instead of their own, means you don't accept them as they are, and that's just PURE toxicity.
Dropped a like for "youre contributing to men's problems everywhere" 😂🙏 PREACH
Ugh 42 and single 10 years- a natural rebel. Also, fairly certain I'm asexual or forever traumatized against relationships after 15 yr miserable marriage.
Nothing wrong with that. You do you. Sorry you gotta go through that.
Heal yourself or you’ll draw in the wrong types of people. You’re doing the best thing for yourself.
@@timothys820 Wow! I didn't expect to get such kind replies. I think I am healed? Idk, probably not ;) its like I'm so happy that I'm terrified even going on a date would screw that up for me. I don't miss sex at all anymore and (so far) I still have my 10-yr-old (divorced when I was pregnant) for cuddles. :)
@@Churlz Thank you!
Your one of the rare people who are mature enough to recognize tht internally. Good on you wishing all the best!
She literally admitted that she would physically attack a dude to a guy that's been a domestic abuse situation. And laughs about it.
If a guy said what she said to women, he would be cancelled
Nah she said in a video game, that makes it okay.
@@shrisiva4016 to our place ooi99o
Shit, what part did I miss!!? timestamp please
Need a time stamp
Girl here, can confirm that
1) my room is messy as hell
2) hair is everywhere. yes, everywhere
"What do you have to explain to women?"
"Destiny explains some space insecurities to a women"
"The women doesn't get it"
"Me, well there you go..next question"
Haha dude🤣🤣
i think it´s important to have solid bases in life, like being healthy in mind and the physical and have good habits, being independent/being able to take care of yourself. knowing what you want being able to trial and error what you want etc. before you have a serious relationship.
That shit's hot.
@@Churlz facts
Steven talking about guy's haircut is spot on.
After i left the hairdresser the other day i felt really good like i could walk up to random women and ask them on a date or some shit.
Huge self-esteem boost.
trueeeeee
tbh especially after going to the barber like shit man
I feel so fucking called out for having mommy issues. I have called every woman I have dated mommy. You start sneaking it in as a joke and they let their guard down.... then boom next thing she knows i got her spanking me for being a bad boy.
Wat
Tf
Nice
I feel like I'll be over 30 and single not because I'm clingy or possessive but because I'm just apathetic to dating. Like, I've gone 3 years without dating anyone, I don't feel like dating anyone, and when a girl asks if I'm single I'll just say I'm not looking for a date but don't mind just connecting with people whether or not it leads to anything. Maybe it's just the women in my life are used to meeting people specifically for the purpose of dating them and don't want to deal with it being any other way.
MoGTOW
the toilet paper issue hits home ty for speaking up
Off topic, but nice profile picture. Dorohedoro rules.
@@AmberLecuyer thank you! didnt read the manga but saw the show its been one of my favorite anime's in recent memory
@@soulares1 Definitely check the manga out if you get a chance. It recently finished and is SO good. One of my favs
@@AmberLecuyer only question i have is are there any manga reading sites you use since or do you just order them
Boze could rub my belly counter-clockwise any day
8:10 As a man during covid, I also kinda do this: After breakfast I wear a comfy outfit that I could go out the door with if really needed, then somewhere in the afternoon I put on better looking clothes to go outside or just to feel less sluggish, and after diner I'll put on my most comfy outfit.
It doesn't make my clothes need to be washed more often though, if anything it takes longer for my nice outfit to get dirty and my comfy outfits don't need to be washed that much more either.
It’s funny when interviewers have a somewhat good question but ask it in such a poor way it can only receive and contrite response because the answer is so obvious.
You can't tell me what to do! I'll watch what I want!
I just don't wanna feel like I missed out. That's the only reason I personally have. I can love my partner with all my heart, but I worry about being old and feeling like I didn't experience all that I could
Like your name, g
@ghost robles not married or anything yet. I'm saying in the general sense. Id like to get married eventually, but I feel this way. I agree with you; it is wrong. But this is a very honest answer on why I'd cheat in a marriage or something
The grass is always greener on the other side I suppose.
@@seanster625 you are missing out on things 24/7... people everywhere are doing things you aren't... the "fear of missing out" thing just never made sense to me... no matter how anybody rationalizes it, i just don't get it... granted, i grew up in extreme poverty (by USA standards, so not so bad concerning worldwide standards, ill admit) and missing out was my entire experience growing up.. a silver lining i realize at times, growing up so poor
Single over 30 and Im just too lazy to meet people, destiny. You missed that one.
My dude, i can't tell you how this hits home aha.
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 years and too much of what Destiny said was 100% accurate lmao.
10 years and you two aren't married? Damn
Wow ten years!!! Thats cool I assume your also monogamous?
@@allenwilliams7367 Not everyone believes in, wants/needs or can afford marriage lol. Dunno why in 2021 that's still considered a hallmark of a relationship.
@@sommerblume9671 Marriage isn’t expensive, weddings are. Marriages are for legal purposes.
@@axelnils And some people don't want to be legally married. Fuck giving the woman that broke my heart 50% of what I earned
I love my wife of 13 years and counting very much, but I ain't doin everything with her and she doesn't do everything with me. Its good that way, because it gives you some time apart, so that you can miss each other instead of being stuck with one another for 24/7/365.
If your expectation of "love" is "spending every waking moment with me and only me" you have modelled your egomaniac personality disorder into a relationship goal. It aint healthy and you aint gonna be happy, ever.
bayzed
Dating pool shrinker: Not wanting kids. Don't want your kids. Won't have them ever.
I'm only 20 but holy shit I feel like I'm going to end up being 30 and single without ever dating anyone or perusing a relationship because they're too much effort and I'm a truly lazy and complacent person.
I totally get it, I simply have never thought of doing anything to be in a relationship or even go on a date. I just didn't cross my mind.
Don't get married and don't get a girl pregnant. Better yourself and enjoy.
@@thejewce7636 i'll do what i want to do, i eventually want kids but i cant see myself ever putting in the effort to even get into a relationship
@@EnricoRodolico Good luck to you in being a part time parent. Be a good dad and send those child support payments and if you are lucky she will let you see the child every once in a while.
Those are too apathetic to build families will naturally select themselves out of the gene pool
Your DNA will not be missed
1 of my favorite destiny videos loved it
I feel like it depends on whether your partner asks you to do things with them often or not. Like if she's asking you to do something with her every other day, you just HAVE to say no sometimes-- that's life. On the other hand if she only asks you for something once a month, it would be pretty hurtful to turn her down or not at least reschedule. Everyone can handle doing something with their partner they're not excited about once in a while as a kindness to them. But yeah, there's a limit.
This is a really good point
Damn didn't know Boze posted every thread in r/askmen
Yeah, I’m with destiny on the “not spending all your time with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them” take. Say I like basketball and my partner doesn’t care about it. I have two tickets to a basketball game and a friend who loves basketball and has always wanted to go to a basketball game. I’m supposed to give the other ticket to someone who won’t even enjoy the game, because it means I don’t love her if I give it to my buddy who actually wants to see the game?
I don’t know Boze and have no reason to think anything negative about her, but that’s such a controlling and possessive mindset and I don’t like it
So weird, I saw the notification on the left for my subscribe section that Destiny had a new video but its only now showing up.. Conspiracy I tell ya
Oh my god I’m so guilty of the 3 outfit a day thing lollll
On that trash can liner point, what my family hs done for as long as I can remember is for those small trash cans in a bathroom or bedroom or whatever, instead of using actual trash bags just save plastic grocery bags from when you get groceries and use those instead it saves money and you actually have some use for those bags instead of just immediately throwing them away once you get home
Edit: literally unpaused it after writing this and the next sentence was about if he uses grocery bags
The plastic bags give you a false sense of security, I can’t count the amount of times where i’ve ran out of actual liners, used a flimsy bag and found wet bullshit in my trashcan
Love the conversations with Boze, she's great. Hope to see more!
6:50 The happies place I’ve ever lived was on my mud hill in the backyard when I was a toddler!
I like a nice neo-abandoned building aesthetic. Like a run down room minus the asbestos and plus a PS4.
Great content
Over 30 and single, reporting in!
Banned
31. Single, never had sex or kissed a girl. This is how the cookie crumbles. I’ll probably get an escort someday but i already lost all hope with women. Too bad we can’t mulligan! At least I’m a sheet metal worker and will have the money to live my life the way I want
@J. Jay yeah I know it’s not the end of the world. I love a generally stress free life. No drama or anything. I just get lonely sometimes
@@jpsithlord I promise you that you're creating a self fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that you missed the boat then you'll never feel confident. If you learn to think differently you'll find people.
@@jpsithlord find some therapy, exercise (if you're not), find self love.
That's shit is attractive my dude. Good luck :)
Hell yeah, Starsector, great game
That first point I've found the most success tackling with a food metaphor. "Oh, pizza/butter chicken/whatever is my favorite food, but it won't be my favorite if I eat it every day for every meal and snack" sort of dialogue trees.
The “if you do something with someone else you don’t love me” bit is pretty fucked
I have a life beyond my partner. If I had plans with someone else I’m not going to cancel with them just to give you attention. Unless it’s an emergency like your parents are in the hospital and you need someone to be there for you or if you’re going into labor with our child I’m probably not going to cancel plans I already had with someone else.
The reason youre single is because when he mentioned mens problems, you laughed. Womens needs and emotions are allready valued more by society and men have a very difficult time expressing and communicating ours because of how insignificant society and women like this one makes it seem. Imagine being in a relationship and expressing healthy boundaries, like not wanted to do everything with that person all the time, and them not only denying you that, but then laughing when you express that it makes you upset. Why would any guy (or person in general), want to be in a relationship with someone who clearly has no interest in understanding your perspective/needs, and who invalidates you when you express them? That is why you are single!
This might be the weirdest answer to the "what do girls do that you think is cute?" question: but, for some reason when they sort of mock or mimic like typically aggressive male stereotypes, it is really funny and cute. Like one time my gf woke up and came back into the room after peeing, and she stood in front of the mirror for a bit and was like grunting and flexing... and it was great. I think about it all the time
The grand gestures doesnt matter as much for a relationship as the small stuff. The small stuff is the most important because it shows that you care more, its easier to do 2-3 big things a year than 1-2 small things a day for that year. This is how I look at them only doing big stuff means that they dont care at all but want to seem like they do, doing only small stuff means they care but they dont care about big stuff.
What this girl is describing makes me feel like i would be suffocating in this relationship, its ok to have separate lives if you wanna spend your whole life with this person you gotta have something else to do and go to. Even just to change a perspective, experience something else once in a while
"i find out they have some kind of mommy issue" - Daddyissues McGee
i’m 10 minutes in and literally everything destiny said about women so far is 100% accurate
Omg that account name fire 🤣
This was good ass content. Part 2 would be cool
8:09 I'm guilty of this and I didn't even realize it 😭
The main reason is to be comfortable at all times. If I feel like changing, I change! Idk.
I am over 30 and singal, I remember saying if you live without something long enough u learn to live without out it. I feel as if I could handle a relationship I know how to socialize with women and cooperate with others. The reason I dont date is because I want to loose weight and be at my best befor dating.
The spelling needs work too
you want to let your weight loose on what?
Nothing wrong with that in theory. Being on your own let's you regulate your diet and exercise much more easily. But you can also easily enable bad habits or feel too comfortable with the loneliness to try. After my last serious relationship (5 years) I felt motivated and exercised hard daily and made my own healthyish meals but it is easy to slide back into that feeling of indifference. But good luck on the self improvement!
Dude. You are literally procrastinating dating. Stop making excuses and socialize with women. Maybe you will get thinner, but you will be older. so it is w/e. Experience is good.
@@dlugi4198 Ah fuck you're right oldness! The worst dating attribute! Must rush for relationship now, or no one will EVER want me!
I dunno man, I never got the big deal of a relationship. It just seems like a social norm that is forced on others. If someone didn't want to date, or did not want to be a in relationship I don't see how that's unhealthy. Especially when I have seen plenty of people panic and try to rush into things, or are now unhappy with the person they are with, but the mentality of: "Oh well you're over 30 now, so you best stay with that person. Cause don't be single and 30.". Life is messy, and weird. Everyone has their own shit, and that's why I think this really broad label here is a really shit take.
Eh im not offended by the over 30 and single comments, but that's really not me. The stuff that destiny talked about earlier in the video, about why he's swearing off relationships after Melina... that's pretty much exactly why I've chosen not to get into a relationship in the last 3 years.
Edit: and to be clear, im not mtgow or anything. It's not a women issue, it's a me issue.
This was nice. Hope they do it again.
Only reason i can see myself being single when I’m over 30 would be i got add for sexual partners, i hate the thought of settling on 1 person, i guess a open relationship like stevens would be a possibility
my problem is working 3rd shifts and not having a life, so its hard for me to meet people :/ so single life for me all the way
@Nath Krishna a shift starting at 10pm and going until 6am or around that, graveyard shifts, or night shifts as they are known
I’ve found working 3rd shift I usually stay up late playing video games with other people and have actually met some women that way. But yeah it’s pretty bad.
Same I work 2rd shifts and get off around 3am. If I wasn't with my girlfriend since middle school I would have no time to meet new people
@Nath Krishna I work six days a week I'm only off because I'm sick rn
@@CrasterFamily lol, it doesn't matter too much if you're ugly, as long as you can accept yourself then most other people will also accept you.
loved the video
I love boze so much. Idk how I went from watching her on JK news to watching her on destiny's channel but I love it
Jk strikes again. The crossover we didn't know we needed.
She’s great on destiny’s channel but on austin show she plays dirty
Like Lauren Southern
@@TheMrgameflare holy shit I just realize Thats the same lauren southern! 🤯
@@TokenTheGreat13 I think they deleted those videos
when Destiny said he tried breast milk I almost died
Lol click wrong comment after skipping an ad
@@coolroxas noo I know he did it with a bottle
If you could try it once would you not do it out of sheer curiosity?
@@AlexanderMartinez-kd7cz umm nooo
To play devils advocate, how come drinking the breast milk of a cow is okay
Holy moly if we did everything together all of the time, I would murder my partner. Not only that, holy moly that kind of emotional manipulation because you won't spend every waking minute with me is so toxic. This is a person you dont want in your life
Yeah it's toxic, lots of gaslighting, fuck that.
Preferring thing A over thing B does not mean that you prefer thing A over thing B at every point in time. In more "mathy" terms, A>B does not imply for all t, A_t > B_t.
Priorities can change depending on your need for variety, too. For instance, I definitely prefer ice cream to broccoli, but if I have just had 5 pints in a row and am given the choice again, I would definitely choose the broccoli instead of the ice cream. A similar thing can happen with your significant other, where things much lower on the preference list take priority at certain times.
i think most people who aren't in intimate relationships aren't in them for a good reason because they aren't cut out for it, sure there might be a few that probably would be good in an intimate relationship and they just happened to get caught up with people who aren't cut out for intimate relationships and then kinda gave up but maybe eventually they run into a good one eventually as things just happen and if you're cut out to be in one then chances you'll just happen to get into one wether you're trying or not is pretty high.
the tricky thing though is that i don't think people realise if they are or aren't cut out to be in an intimate relationship.
9:23 "Your hair is everywhere! Screaming infidelities and taking its wear!" Dashboard Confessional anybody? Am I just old?
err what if you are over 30 and your partner breaks up with you - not bc you’re too clingy etc. just bc you want different things or don’t get on anymore etc.? or they finally got out of an abusive relationship? there’s a million reasons someone could be single
He means for an extended period of time. Someone over 30 who's single for a long period, or very often, probably has some issues.
@@NeverineX no? Why? Sometimes life happens
Single over 30 with no long term relationships prior works probably be more accurate
@@NeverineX Or... Wants to be single. GASP.
@@NeverineX I think having a history of lots of breakups is a bigger red flag than simply being single
I love the Boze collabs
I want more of this...
31 and single gang. I'm going in boys please pray for me.
May god be with you
@@mezzb Yeah his criticisms didnt apply to me at all. I'm just currently out of a long term relationship with not much interest in starting a new one at this point. Just kinda focusing on my self and my career right now. I'm sure I'll want to jump back into dating at some point but Covid hasnt made that easy..
I do go long stretches usually between relationships though, like 2-3 years of being single. I'm pretty happy being single though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hearing all these requirements of how I should change myself in order to be able to date is really interesting. Imagine finding someone attractive because they're exactly like everyone else. In my own experience, I've always felt attracted to people who were their own unique personalities. People who pretend to be mainstream can maybe get a higher chance to attract others but they'll never be happy in those relationships anyways in my opinion. You'll just attract a mainstream person, not a person you can actually like, and with time you're gonna drop your act and turn them off anyways (I wonder why there are so many divorces). I guess this works if you just look for sex but I can just pay for sex, why would I date only for sex? Not to mention how incredibly fucking toxic this "dating advice" shit is altogether. You're basically creating a social stigma. I thought we were liberals here, all about protecting people's natural identity, getting rid of social stigmas. I say pursue a relationship if it feels natural to you. Don't feel obligated by insecure dumbfucks not to be single at any point in your life. Don't let them make you depressed. The people who shame you for being single are way unhappier than you. Want proof? They talk about your life and you don't talk about theirs. Just be yourself. (sorry for my imperfect English)
well said
I’ve been in heated arguments over TP consumption.
There is a sink and soap there for a reason, you don’t need 15 sheets of TP just to protect your hand from a drop of urine
15:00 "when your feeling lonely what do you do" literally laughed out loud and said nothing. it just comes and goes in waves. if you stay busy enough it goes away eventually for me at least
everyone in the comments is joking and having a laugh, but i was there for this live and im over 30 and single and it honestly hurt to hear but i suppose its true, i wouldnt be single if i wasnt messed up in some way i guess. I left the stream after he said that, not lying.
Not necessarily. There are tons of reasons why u can be single over 30 and most of them are not as bad as Destiny makes them. He is mostly reducing it to the few negative experiences he had with such women. Sometimes you can be single over 30, just because there aren't people compatible with you in your surroundings, which doesn't mean there is something wrong about you
@@stef4oben88 in my case, it is exactly what he said it was. I am a man. I have made some poor life choices so the blame is all on me. I don't have hope any more so I just exist.