I am a geek. I do feel like I am on the outside as well. I have been deemed stuck up, "trying to be white" (I am an African American female geeky individual). I love who I am and I am not going to change for anyone (hence the reason I am divorcing). I have been watching Big Bang Theory since the day it premiered. I remember hearing you were joining the cast and I was like...Yes!!! I loved you on Blossom and I hate that it seems to not be in syndication or streamed on Netflix or anything. I would love to rewatch old episodes and see you and Six hanging out.
Conratulations, thats the most depressing thing I've read all day. How the fudge is striving for the future or at least wishing it to be better 'white' ? We need a good plague to sweep the land of these regressive knuckle draggers. Stay strong, be awesome.
holy crap... what the heck has white got to do with it????? maybe I am speaking out of ignorance but I see all sorts of different color people that consider themselves geek/nerd. Stand tall 80flowergurl! I am right there beside you!
I'm not a "geek" or a "nerd" either. In fact all of the geeks and nerds that I know, including my own son, just call me a "total technophobe", because I'm so inept with modern technology. However, everything Mayim said fits perfectly with me being a huge introvert. I don't do small talk, don't get the point of idle chit-chat, often have people think that when I make a joke based of absurdist humor, I'm actually being serious and probably worst of all, I have no real interest in sport, reality TV or soap operas. I know, I'm doomed to a life of loneliness and isolation and I wouldn't have a friend in the world if it wasn't for all those voices in my head. ( Umm..for those of you who love small talk etc. that was a little bit of humor and probably wasn't the least bit absurdist. You'll have to work it out for yourselves though because I can only tell you as much as the voices allow me to. )
I think the reason "geeks" and "nerds" sometimes feel left out is because they often don't think to rely on each other and value their own social circles. That's because the presumption is always to want to be with the "cool" crowd. But the highly intellectual crowd has so much to offer. As a side note, I just have to say to Mayim that you have done an awesome job portraying Amy Farrah Fowler. The Herb Garden Germination is my all-time favorite but there are so many others where you shine all the way up to last year's episodes.
Why do you need a female geek? My husband is a geek & I'm totally not! We get along perfectly. Surely! Him being a geek gives me the extra time that I spend involved with my special-needs niece & nephew. I love entertaining, and we do it together, I feed everyone & have conversations & he has collected all the geeks & they are talking about this 'n that 'n the other in his den. However, we had to agree on a bunch of other things, like, recycling, paying taxes, our way of spending money, we have a strong religious & community conscience that unites us in our off times. Every Wednesday we Volunteer to go pick-up food for the Church Pantry. Every Thursday we pass out food to the hungry. That is four hours & four hours that we have spent enjoying what we do & each other... Differences do not have to be a bad thing. We met on a Plane trip arriving to Orlando, FL. We both lived here...enough in common to start a conversation... Just follow the lead of the talkative one & everything else, will fall into place.... Promise...
i think everyone is special in thier own way. my mom met the love of her life at 47. theres hope, i promise you. do not change who you are for anyone. you should be loved for just being you
I met my boyfriend, now 45, 5 years ago. He's totally a computer geek, and so am I. Now we live together and play PC games together. There is hope for everyone, don't give up ;)
I absolutely love how you spoke about how even if culture represents the idea of being different, actually doing so is challenging. I have deep respect for all the people who do on a daily basis.
My sons glasses are thick as Coke bottles, he has hearing aids, he's six and he is very different and I wonder if kids tease him because of his differences. He came home and cried for two hours yesterday. We try to talk to him but he has a hard time expressing what he is thinking and sometimes feeling. My wife and I are as different as you are, and we accept who we are and I hope my son will see that and like who he is!
That is so sad if 6 years olds are already bullying a kid based on being a bit different. I hope you find a way to get him to open up to you, maybe try getting him draw or something if he finds it hard to vocalize? If he is that upset there is obviously something wrong & you might be able to talk to the teachers/school & help him suffer a little less. The world can be a hard for those who are different but we all have some power to help stop bullying & make everyone feel included.
cw2lido I understand. I, too, wear thick glasses and hearing aids. And, now, also an FM Loop (for hard of hearing people to have sound into their hearing aids to hear better). And I have Asperger's. And, I code websites and love X-Men and Star Trek. Yep, I understand about loneliness. It bites that this is what your son is going through. Please show him MY response to you, here, plus Mayam Bialik's video to assure him of that he is not alone in what he is gong through cus others are going through it, too. Then, also maybe get him friends that are similar so he doesn't have to be so alone.
He will grow up to be independent and comfortable with who he is if he has you guys for role models. Keep him occupied in hobbies or activities he loves. I have a cousin who is picked on for her weight and goes through the same thing but its gotten easier for her because she knows where to find her happiness now, in soccer and singing.
It's always so good to hear other people discuss these feelings. I have been the outsider as long as I can remember. I don't fit in with my family, I never have, and now that I am grown and married I don't fit in with my husbands family. It hits me like a dagger in the gut to sit at one of his family dinners, seeing how well his sister-in-laws fit in. They all love sports, horror books and fancy restaurants. They look at me like im crazy when I start going in-depth about star wars or fantasy novels. My husbands newest in-law constantly says how geeky she is and what a dork she is, but she fits in with his family like a glove, even thought she has known them 3 years less than I have, she fits in 100x better. She plays sports with them, she's loud, she joins in every conversation. Meanwhile I sit there quietly, hoping the topic will change from basketball/football to video games, books or art. The worst part is its literally impossible to explain this feeling to people that do fit in. I love my husband, but he will never understand how I feel. He always tells me "they love you, of course you fit in!" but I know I don't, and never will. Its hard, but im trying to learn to just love myself, and be okay with not fitting in.
TBH, though I have always been a misfit (facial disfigurement as a child set me on that path), I have never, ever, wanted to be 'one of the cool kids' or even had any remote interest in what those kids liked. I lived in my imagination while they were aping their older brothers and sisters. I liked different music and fashion. I loved to read and to learn. And being bullied mercilessly throughout school made me want to be less like the 'cool kids' not more. I found my 'tribe' in my late teens, and have been a happy alternative person ever since. It's not about fitting in. It's about finding the people who are *just like you*, who are on the same level as you. Whose jokes you get, whose culture you understand. I'd much rather spend an evening in the pub chatting about Farscape or Big Bang (I frelling LOVE your show!!) than gossiping about some celebrity or other.
its great to hear someone who is smart as her still feels anxiety about not fitting in . it can happen to anyone people need to let people be themselves and judge less and not act like they are better than everyone else.
Thank you Mayim! I have a son who is pretty much Sheldon. Before Big Bang I kept getting advised to "have him tested" or " get him help" I knew he did not fit the main stream mould but he is an abundance of goodness. Now though he is accepted as another facet of the human experience with something to offer thanks to the work you and the cast do.
Mayim, if you have some spare time, it would make more then a day for me if you read this: I just realized, you might just be the geakiest one on the entire show in real life. You are a scientist, you are a nerd/geek, you do youtube, you don't seem fake like most celebrities... AND you believe in science AND god. I want to write this to you, because you just became my favorite celebrity and probably the first role-model I ever had. Many little kids, growing teenagers and even adults have a role model, but I could never say "that person is someone I look up to". I never took a super hero as someone I look up to, because I think it's just very unrealistic and I could never identify with singers, actors, or any celebrity I've known so far. The closest was probably Neil deGrasse Tyson, but then again, he does not believe in god, which is a huge point for me. But you Mayim, are a person, who I look up to. I am currently studying computer science and plan to even want major in it as a doctor. I am only at the beginning, but I have the ambition to work for it. You really do inspire me and with that, you are the first person in my life to do that in now almost 20 years. I just want to thank you for talking to us, your fans. I want to thank you, for talking about topics, that are sometimes very controversial. I want to thank you, for giving me a role model. You inspire me, and with all of my heart, I really do mean that. I love science, and I do believe in god and that this can go hand-in-hand. I am sorry if you have some trouble reading this, for I am not a native-speaker. I hope you understand, what I wanted to tell you and what you have done for me. Continue to do those videos, they are very good. I hope you are doing well, and if you read this: Please continue your day with the thought, that you just made a persons life alot more meaningful and happier and that you gave someone a person to look up to. A very good person to look up to. Have a wonderful day :)
SirVampyr you made my day for writing about Mayim being your role model. I am a 62 yr. old woman all alone, with adult children on their own, & whom I am proud of. I have worked at so many occupations that my resume is way too long, & am currently going through an enormous number of changes, physically, mentally, socially & financially. I too have personally been struggling to find someone to be a role model & to emulate. Mayim Bialik has just filled that void for me. For many years I admired her talents as a scientist, as well as an actor. I just discovered Mayim's vlog (& your comment) & she added more to the admirable qualities I respect Mayim for: she's a Geek-Mom; able to balance a myriad of life's good & bad, work & play, & being different turning into joyously embracing one's uniqueness; she is proud of her Jewish heritage, culture, & religion - like you said above, "... AND you believe in science AND g-d. ..."; & I admire & respect so much more. I have never subscribed to anyone's online presence, but I did subscribe to hers. I can't get enough of her world view, personal view & religious pride! This was meant to be, (or as my mother would say in Yiddish, "beshert",) as I discovered her vlog while searching for an online connection to learn more about my observance of Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur, the Jewish New Year & Day of Atonement.
SirVampyr Dear Sir-lol. Of one thing I am sure: God loves you & there is nothing you can do about it. Since I believe we are all one, this 66yr Catholic Nana feels free to say & mean this: I love you. Go with God.
It has taken my many years (40...ish) to finally embrace my "geek". And while I no longer feel the need to hide it, I can still relate to that feeling of wanting to "fit in", and the anxiety it brings on when I don't. I'm not sure that will ever go away.
The feeling of being different doesn't change over the years, the awkwardness of it. You just learn ways of dealing with it in more healthy ways and stop fighting and hurting yourself. It's still a terrible experience, but i've found it's less dramatic as decades go by. If you find yourself in an environment that's hostile to anyone that doesn't "fit in", get out if you can, find a safer and healthier environment. There's always a place to be who you are out there. Thanks Mayim for touching this topic and the wise and kind words.
Just found this. Thank you. Being different is hard. Being "different" and adding other life's happenings while you are young is even harder. And in my later 40s, I am learning more about me and learning to be okay with me.
Thank you for doing this Mayim. I've been a nerd my whole life, never fit in, and to top it off, I'm a cross between "Jew" and "Christian" so I can never fit into either world religiously either, which is a big deal when the whole world celebrates things you can't be part of. I make that face ALL the time at work and just smile and nod a lot. I used to say 'well everyone else is just shallow because they don't care about the deep intellectual things', but as I've gotten older I've realized that was a judgmental thing that I only said to make myself feel better. Now I just try to embrace the geek culture and be with people who get me (and yes, I agree that's the best version of D&D)! Anyway, again, thank you for your videos. You make us feel less alone and like we're all part of the same community. In the end, everyone just wants to fit in and be loved. :)
Hi Mayim. I'm Chad. I just found your channel and I love it. As a kid I loved your show and it was if you were telling me that it was ok to be different. As adults you are still saying the same thing and I thank you for it. I'll be 41 in February and at times I still need to be reminded of this. Thank you for always being you even when it has been difficult. You inspire me.
Loved how simple you put the examples of what was geek in the past and how now it is becoming the norm. We have always been different one from another but it was not as accepted as today. Loooovee Big Bang Theory on how this is presented so you start to understand people around you! I have a geek 16 yrs old son and I'm proud of him and his geeky friends!!!❤❤
It's been a few years since i've settled with the idea that Mayim is talking about.. Being different, not understanding some conversations, people😃. I have embrased it, im proud, and, when you do so, life is so much better, you find the right people around you. It's not just nerdiness, it's life in general.. But thanks for sharing..
I dont consider myself as a geek person, but i do feel left out pretty much all the time, i dont drink alcohol and get wasted, i dont do drugs, seems like i dont do anything that is considered fun. Its nice to hear im not the only one, cause its true it hurts a lot...thanks mayim! Youre awesome!!!!
Bless you, Mayim! I have ALWAYS been the odd one out, the weirdo, even the geek or nerd, but it was not so much my brains as the fact that I had parents who were religious to the point of making me exclude myself from school activity. I had to at least put on a show that I believed what they did....or else. Meantime, I got made fun of for what I could or couldn't eat, when we were gone for a week in September or October, and why I couldn't go to dances on Friday night or Saturday night. The clean and unclean meat laws were really no problem. It was the fact that my parents believed "we are not a part of the world so we do not take part in it". It's a lonely feeling when you can't go to your own prom, to basketball games, or go on Christmas drives for the National Honor Society. Yup I was a member, but I was so not present for the weekend stuff, that not only was I not in the group picture of the NHS-ers, I was not even mentioned as MISSING. I wanted to belong, but I couldn't, even I wanted to remain sane during high school. I got punished for a seeming lack of respect for my parents or God (as they knew him). I couldn't express myself, or frustration or anger. I had to stuff it all down.
Your honesty is highly commendable. I'm not a nerd, however I can't get into the same things you commented on simply because I consider them shallow. Keep in mind, as well, that your intelligence is a gift that is appealing regardless. So being a nerd is still better than being dumb and/or ugly. Society do lay some heavy rules on us...
Mayim, you are the best. Love watching your content. There is something I learn each time I watch a video. Thank you for putting out content that’s actually worth watching.
I love this video. I have just never understood the people around me, no matter how hard I try. I always kind of figured once I got out of high school things would be different, but it didn't change in college and it didn't change in dental school (though there were more people I understood). Its just nice to hear a successful person talk about being different and it being okay. Thank you for sharing.
It's strange as I always hated being different as I was constantly picked on or judged but I also liked it, you teach me to appreciate being different and that's ok
I used to be so uncomfortable being a geek...and allowed myself to feel like it was my responsibility to search for things I had in common with those around me in order to make myself have merit in their eyes. Slowly, over time, I became more and more comfortable in my own skin, and cared less and less about those who thought I was too weird to warrant their time otherwise. Not everyone will get me, and the older I get. the more I'm ok with that. What I found is that this shift in my thinking led to a subtle shift in those around me. Now, I still don't fit in, and I don't try to, but as my own self confidence grows, it is now those around me who seem to feel like they have nothing to offer in a conversation with me, rather than me feeling on the outside of their conversations, and so they avoid spending time with me more because they don't feel they it into my world than that I don't fit into theirs.
mayim, I so understand you. ok, I am not strictly a geek but I always feel very different to others and feel like I can't relate to many people. however, I still manage to have an inner confidence in myself and I'm glad that you embrace that
OMG where was this video when I was a nerdy kid growing up with undiagnosed ADD and a stuttering problem... I know this feeling all too well. It's improved with time, but it's never gone away. Mayim, you're my spirit animal 😊❤️
I love this video! I have rejected the concept of geek being in style for a while for one reason. It leaves out how hard it is to be an outcast. People take the title of geek as if they have a clue. Thank you for pointing out the truth.
You are so right. I'd just like to add something, I'm sure you would agree, too - it is hard to be different but I wouldn't want to change just to fit in. It was harder when I was a child, but once I grew up I kind of really didn't *want* to be a part of all those beliefs, ways of thinking, habits and groups of people. I now know I am missunderstood by so many people not because I'm weird or self-absorbed, but because people around me just have different priorities. I am not trying to say I am better or worse than anyone else, it's just that what I feel is important in life, most of the people around me don't, or vice versa. For example, being vegan. Or deciding not to have children. Those two decisions will get the neighbors talkin' where I live. :-)) It's still not easy but it's worth being myself and knowing "I did it my way". :-)) Now that is what truly makes me happy. Thank you for this great video. :-)
Omg i feel like this everyday! I'm 20 years old and I'm very socially awkward. I don't really follow the latest media trends, so it's hard to relate to others when i literally have nothing to say and i have no knowledge on the subjects they talk about. I always think about changing my habits and interest just so i can fit in. After watching this, it isn't a priority to me anymore. I should just be happy being me. Thanks Mayim (:
i totally get you, I do not think of my self as a nerd or geek, but I do like some of the stuff they like. All my life I have been feeling diferent to others because I don not care about what is "normal" I always want to know and learn about other/deeper things. When I was younger I felt alone because of that, but now as a 31 year old man I like the fact that I am not "normal" and I am happy this way
I does hurt to be different. I was never a nerd,always tried to be cool. But now at the age of 45 I think I'm the nerdiest person I know and I love it. That's why I'm different and alone. It doesn't bother me because there are more things in life than fashion and gossiping about others.
it sounds SO much familiar, thanks so much for this and the analogy of X-Men, I use to think that feeling was just for a teenager out of everything, not an infant, not an adult, not interested for the perfect smile and total focused in space, software systems, DNA, other dimensions, other galaxies!! still been sad to know how people care less for those and care too much about a facebook profile picture
Being different. Being the only five-year-old in my new entrant's class to announce my favourite music to be "Classical" and therefore receiving scorn from the teacher, being the only boy in that school that didn't want to be on the rugby team, being part of a very small handful of kids at school that enjoyed reading superhero comics and could name more than three characters, being the only kid in high school that could draw and explain a diagram of the Apollo atmosphere recycling system, enjoying and being the best at science classes (and therefore being the favourite student of the science teachers), studying languages instead of woodwork and metalwork, being more interested in reading than most sports (and playing uncool sports like indoor bowls and table tennis... actually being _good_ at indoor bowls but seriously bad at baseball, rugby and cricket) - and reading Science Fiction instead of pulpy westerns, being one of the strange ones who took Applied Mathematics because it was the first subject in our high-school that included learning how to program a computer, being a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek and other "weird sh*t". And getting a lot of grief for these things over the years - including being on the receiving end of violence. Geekiness has become more socially acceptable due to the wide prevalence of personal computers and phones that are basically just really small personal computers and people started to understand that the nerdy kid from school grew up to be an adult that can clean the viruses off your computer after you visit that Russian "erotica" site... Superhero movies are really popular, now, and it's not such a social death sentence to admit to watching them - except in front of a dwindling minority of people - which is excellent... we finally get to see decent budgets lavished on things we want to watch. But geeks are still different - as popular or acceptable or mainstream as comic-book-based movies might be, geeks still tend to be more heavily into them than the "average" member of the public is. It's been a long road from "social outcast" to "marginally acceptable and occasionally useful" but we're still "different"; still not "normal" in the eyes of many people. "Enjoying _Avengers_ - fine, it's an exciting movie. But eagerly awaiting each installment of the franchise, having figurines of the characters in your house and completely losing your sh*t when they make a surprise reveal of some character that 'normal' people have to look up on Google to know who it's supposed to be? That's seriously weird..." Great video, Mayim, glad I found your channel. Sub'd. Looking forward to watching more. And thanks to you and the others on _The Big Bang Theory_ for all the laughs. Sad to see it coming to an end.
Hi Mayim, I can totally relate to everything you've said here. My whole life I have always been "the different one" or "the odd one". Even now at 25 years old I still suffer from this. Having recently started a new job working for a government department i was hoping that this wouldn't be an issue anymore. But it is, I am training in a group of 16 people including me, but most of the time it feels like a class of 15. I try and join in and add to the conversation but people just go quiet and it becomes very clear that i'm not welcome. Its so depressing and heart breaking when all you want is to just have a nice conversation with a group of people that you'll be spending the next 2 months (and some even years) with. I thought I had managed to connect with someone but those conversations have now stopped as well. People sometimes say to me "you come across as so confident" - which is a front, because inside i'm having a constant anxiety attack. How do you move past that? It gets so bad sometimes that its all I can do to not burst into tears in the middle of the classroom.
It's awesome that a true nerd can make it in to such stardom and thrive in the world of TV. I think if you want to be blunt it's about being highly intelligent and that will always be different. And Elvis Costello is fantastic.
Totally relate to this. Even though i'm 40 and I can consider myself as a very sociable person, it's still hard because feeling out of place is something that happens ALL the time but I learned how to look blended in. But.... It's chic to be Nerd, it always was.
This video is the one that got me to sub to your YT channel. I watched a few of your videos so far and I'm pleasantly surprised at how accessible you seem to be even though you're clearly on the other side of the celebrity wall from myself and people like me. Thanks for being so understanding and willing to reveal yourself as just a regular person in spite of your fame and success. You've made me happier than I was before I watched this.
Mayim you’re such a great person. I absolutely love your videos. You always make me smile. Your videos make me feel way better about myself. I’m a 17 year old socially awkward, introverted and pretty nerdy transguy. So yeah fitting in was never something I did. And not being accepted for being part of the LGBT community by the people that surround you doesn’t make life easier. But there’s one thing that has helped me through tough times for years now and that is the Big Bang Theory. I just wanted to say thank you🙃
For me, there are times when I feel left out (I'm a hard-of-hearing, glasses-wearing, Aspie single homeschooling mother of an Aspie child) - but most of the time, I don't really pay attention to not fitting in. Most people I spend time with are people who share at least some of my or my child's interests. Quite a few are either also Aspies, share some Aspie traits, or have at least one Aspie in their family. I don't really spend enough time around people with whom I have nothing in common to often feel left out (I'm fortunate to have some interests that are held by quite a few people, especially education, gardening, caring for/watching/learning about animals, and Dungeons & Dragons (which is very popular with kids around my child's age - and with quite a few of their parents). It was definitely much harder when I was in school and, later, when I was working a full-time job!
I'm 17 and I'm from Argentina, here the geeky things are not as popular as in USA so it's kind of hard to meet someone who can actually understand when you make a reference to star wars or green lantern... so, thanks for talk about this in the most wonderful way
I’m not a geek, and I’m not chic, I’m just me... I’ve spent my life friendless as people don’t get me, or they just want to use me for my giving nature! Then I married the other part of me, and he is all I need we have been together 24-7 for 14 years, as he sadly had to become my carer as my illness became worse but we are well set for the lockdown, as we have been doing it for 6 years, and we know all the pitfalls of close continuous contact ... god be with all of us right now, no matter what bracket you fall into, stay at home, and that yourself lucky you not on a ventilator!✌🏼
I totally get what it is like for people to feel left out and feel different. I had epilepsy and was having 3 to 4 seizures a week when I was in secondary school. People saw me as different or weirded and most people didn’t want to be friends with me and some didn’t even talk to me. On top of that the epilepsy game me some slight learning difficulties which made me different to other peers in the way I understood or didn’t understand different things including emotions or sarcasm. In the 5 years I was at secondary school I was only ever invited to 1 birthday party and that was on a parent of one of the few friends I had who I also went out with. Thankfully I now have moe friends and less seizures. But I still have lasting difficulties that I will always have. Excluding people is not the way for a coerce society. Even if I don’t become friends with everyone at work I will always speak to everyone because you never know if those words are the only contact they have had that week especially when those people are elderly or if they have a visual or hidden disability.
I know it is creepy that I am going to fan-boy on a six-year-old video, but here goes. I am late to TBBT and even later to finding your channel, but I am binging both now. We could not be more different in terms of gender, spiritual beliefs, age, or political leanings, but I am amazed at the connection I feel with you, especially on things like the topic of this video. You have a fantastic talent to look into the lens and make your viewer feel like we have been friends forever. You have a knack for making people feel comfortable, even in our differentness. I appreciate your "this is how I feel, but I do not look down on how you feel" attitude and delivery. I wish the rest of the social media world would approach things that way. Thank you for this video and the many more that will encourage me.
Oh yes! This is why I love supergirl :D And yes, it's so hard to explain why you're 'different' to someone who fits in (honestly it is a mystery how someone could just fit it) Recently someone asked why I didn't fit in in secondary school and I didn't know how to explain it, but you nailed it right on the head.
Talking about fashion, celebrity and `"showbiz stuff" is just a way for faceless people to feel more important and to forget the absence of truely valuable richness in their lives. When you're hanging around too often with such people you start to feel the diffrence in a bad way, because you think you are the only one that doesn't fit in. But I say fuck it! This difference is good and important. Thank you for your videos. You're freakin' awesome! ;)
She's a great actress in big bang theory but she also has a beautiful and philosophical mind, and thinks about things that others wouldn't. I think that it's important for people who can influence others to have these qualities, and to be different, because not too many people will start thinking that, wow, my personality isn't the only kind on the planet, and not everyone thinks that this is cool. Not until someone points it out to them. Honestly though, I don't think that too many people will think about others at all in my middle school until they become aware that they are NOT the only person on the planet who has preferences, and a personality.
Yep, no matter how many people are "with us", we're always loneliest in a crowd, because it drives home just how different we are from the masses around us. As far as being social goes, I'm about halfway between Leonard and Stewart, to use BBT references...even had my own comic shop for a while...
This video had me tearing up. It's so hard to believe other people feel the way I do. Obviously I get it intellectually but from an emotional standpoint it's a revelation.
I loved this video and you are certainly not alone and at the same time it does still hurt at times. I am 53 years old and have a couple of advanced degrees (Master's in Counseling Psychology and History). In my computer room I am surrounded by action figures of Superman, Batman & Godzilla along with several different models of the Star Ship Enterprise. Yet it is painful when my dysfunctional neighbor tells me "I need to grow up! "
I totally understand that feeling because I feel that way a LOT. It can be very hard sometimes and even a struggle. But in hindsight, I almost always feel proud that I just don't fit in with ,,the crowd''. If you are not loud like most people are, you are considered ,,geeky'' or simply ,,unsocial''. But I guess it's an okay feeling. As long as you have just a few people to really connect with you will be fine ;)
Ok. You are officially my favorite actress ever. Before watching this video, I watched your science and religion one where you perfectly put into words how I reconcile my own Christian faith to my career in science. As if that wasn't enough you said that 3.5 is the best edition, which it totally is.
You do not have to be a geek to LOVE your videos, you just have to smart and self aware enough to know who you are and have an interest in the your topics. I do not play ANY character video games but I love double card free cell and never lose because I stay with it until I win, most younger adults your age do not have the patience for that 'boring' game.
I don't know if I can relate to the feeling bad part. I realized early on that we are all different in our own ways - no two people are alike. I didn't play the game of categorizing myself or other people, and ignored those who tried to pin me down. That isn't to say I don't hold certain characteristics - but the point is I am greater than the sum of my parts.
I have always felt different and it's hard. I felt stupid because I was the only 6 year old who read science books and hated picture books . I was the only kid at school at 7 who saved my money up to buy science experiments and at 9 when I cried because I got my very own telescope I have always been obsessed with science and maths since I was little and I always got bullied by it mostly by teachers and adults. U r my role model u show me how it's ok to be different and that it's a good thing
I cant get a single break in life because i am different from most people. I cant get a job,friends,family,home,you know,the usual "American Dream" things. Everyone pretends to be like everyone else because they KNOW that being themselves will get them HATED and JUDGED and maybe even suffer violence. I cant bring myself to pretend to be like everyone else,so i spend most of my time alone,at home,writing on the internet,doing my "thing"
I can relate to being different. I am a Geek who plays wears glasses, plays AD&D, codes websites, and watches X-Men, as well as does machine and house repair. about the only things that maje me fit in even remotely are playing electric guitar and piano and writing music. But, if I try hard to fit in, I lose a bit more of me, of who I am. So, I just try to be me.
I've always been different. Matter of fact, going to school with the way I chose to dress made other students think there was a school play. My friends didn't want to walk with me and I didn't care. At 16, I had a full time job from 4pm till midnight, 6 days a week. Then I had a new class of friends. Working in a gas station in a bad part of town showed me that my criminal friends were better friends than my "straight" friends. After College, I went on to another class of friends, Street Racers. From Street Racers I went to Car Show friends. Now that I'm retired, I've moved on to "Gym Rat" friends. I'm 66 now and my best friend is an old buddy from my street racing days. We compare daily workouts over the internet. BTW, my friend became a drug dealer while I became a Deputy Sheriff. After he got out of prison and I retired, we renewed our friendship. Matter of fact, he talked me into competing in weight lifting.
Any time I wear a geeky t-shirt (like a Borderlands shirts, my Tesla vs Edison shirt, or my Smithsonian Air and Space museum shirt) and get compliments I go off on a mini tangent on why I love them. and I get weird looks. Like "wait. you ACTUALLY KNOW about that? this is weird." so that's always fun/
It's Sherlock Holmes syndrome "You're a psychopath" someone tells him. His answer (from the BBC series) "No, highly functioning sociopath, there's a difference". I felt so understood when I heard that. I watch Dude Perfect posts and re-create some of the challenges with my 7 year old grandson. We cheer! I feel like my co workers and I often speak another language from one another and I've cultivated the will to try to be present and non judgmental when they speak. I find one detail to comment on to show them I'm trying to appreciate what they said about the latest hand bag or some such thrill they feel that I do not. Sometimes I just go ahead with my tasks thinking "It ain't me babe...no no no it ain't me babe" and that's okay. Yaysh v'yaysh...there are those and there are those. If you don't know the latest about the Hollywood crowd...good for you! So much less unnecessary baggage in your head.
I really don’t pay attention to what’s she saying because she is so beautiful That I really fall in love with her personality and the prettiest face I have ever seen.
I like it that you are different because that's what makes you special and stand out from everyone else. it's not a bad thing, it's unique to you. I wish I would get to know the one, the love of my life as a bit different person. We don't need to satisfy any group of people just to "fit in". Our father Abraham was the different, he was standing on one side while the entire world 100% including his father standed on the other side, that's why he was called Abraham Ha'ivry ivry= me'ever=the other side מעבר, בצד השני
oooh i love those glasses on u..im a 50 yr old geek grandma(collect funko pops,comics, ufo stuff)...do what you want and be who you want..if people dont like it too fricken bad :) I LOVE Big Bang...I could see how you grew into the part, you do an amazing job!
I feel good in my geek AND nerd status. Cuz I like who I am. (love LOTR movies AND books, I love computers & games, reading & I quote movies, love superhero movies). I do NOT dress how everyone else does. I hate reality TV and DO NOT MISS IT. I love me, and do not feel left out. I am usually able to find something to talk about with others though. :)
Yep. As a vegan atheist, I will always be different. It really does hurt, but not enough to compromise my logic or ethics. That's why I love Spock so much.
Not a nerd, nor a geek - the word is individual, as opposed to one of the sheep, who run with the rest of the herd/flock, who, for the most part dont know why they are heading any particular direction, nor even the direction they are headed. The great throng make the same loud noise as they have nothing better to contribute to a deep and meaningful conversation - that is until they are seperated from the flock - at which point their lack of depth or otherwise is usually exposed quickly!
Not sure if I feel left out. It makes me sad to realize there have never been people around me who would share my passion for learning new things and for reading specifically. I like to explore this world and there are so many amazing and wonderful things out there. And yet... and yet... Not so many people to talk about them. And this feeling when you finish reading a book and you feel like "wow, this is spectacular, I need to tell someone about that" and there is noone... this is frustrating. Apart from that I guess I feel fine, so long as I don't really care what other people think about me. There is me and there are them. We have only one life to care how another person feels about you. Oh and yes, x-men rock!
like "witches" standing between theirselfs and society as staying/ living between the forest and the village but it means to be connection and a bridge 😉.....staying at the border looking onto "both" paths ...feeling it seeing it this is true potential....
I am a geek. I do feel like I am on the outside as well. I have been deemed stuck up, "trying to be white" (I am an African American female geeky individual). I love who I am and I am not going to change for anyone (hence the reason I am divorcing).
I have been watching Big Bang Theory since the day it premiered. I remember hearing you were joining the cast and I was like...Yes!!! I loved you on Blossom and I hate that it seems to not be in syndication or streamed on Netflix or anything. I would love to rewatch old episodes and see you and Six hanging out.
As I nerdy, black female I can really identify with the "you're trying to be white" struggle.
I'm nerdish and I got the "you're trying to be white" comments, too. But I've learned that what doesn't break us will only make us stronger.
Conratulations, thats the most depressing thing I've read all day. How the fudge is striving for the future or at least wishing it to be better 'white' ?
We need a good plague to sweep the land of these regressive knuckle draggers.
Stay strong, be awesome.
holy crap... what the heck has white got to do with it????? maybe I am speaking out of ignorance but I see all sorts of different color people that consider themselves geek/nerd. Stand tall 80flowergurl! I am right there beside you!
Don't try to be white, Melodie. Trust me, you don't want the wrinkles or the sun burn. We're just jealous of your rhythm and soul.
And a person that restores my faith in humanity.
I'm not a "nerd" or a "geek" and I still feel like what you have described here...crazy, no? ;) Thank you, Mayim!
I was literally about to leave the same comment! Thank you Janis (:
Janis Lynn I was just going to say the same :)
I'm not a "geek" or a "nerd" either. In fact all of the geeks and nerds that I know, including my own son, just call me a "total technophobe", because I'm so inept with modern technology. However, everything Mayim said fits perfectly with me being a huge introvert. I don't do small talk, don't get the point of idle chit-chat, often have people think that when I make a joke based of absurdist humor, I'm actually being serious and probably worst of all, I have no real interest in sport, reality TV or soap operas. I know, I'm doomed to a life of loneliness and isolation and I wouldn't have a friend in the world if it wasn't for all those voices in my head. ( Umm..for those of you who love small talk etc. that was a little bit of humor and probably wasn't the least bit absurdist. You'll have to work it out for yourselves though because I can only tell you as much as the voices allow me to. )
I have voices in my head too. They bicker, create stories, and help me make decisions, etc.
I love that Mayim makes videos my 14 yr old daughter can not only watch....but that I encourage her to do so!!! thanks so much sweet lady.
I think the reason "geeks" and "nerds" sometimes feel left out is because they often don't think to rely on each other and value their own social circles. That's because the presumption is always to want to be with the "cool" crowd. But the highly intellectual crowd has so much to offer.
As a side note, I just have to say to Mayim that you have done an awesome job portraying Amy Farrah Fowler. The Herb Garden Germination is my all-time favorite but there are so many others where you shine all the way up to last year's episodes.
I am a computer geek. A World of Warcraft geek. I am also 42 years old. Still looking for that female geek. It sucks to be alone.
Why do you need a female geek? My husband is a geek & I'm totally not! We get along perfectly. Surely! Him being a geek gives me the extra time that I spend involved with my special-needs niece & nephew. I love entertaining, and we do it together, I feed everyone & have conversations & he has collected all the geeks & they are talking about this 'n that 'n the other in his den. However, we had to agree on a bunch of other things, like, recycling, paying taxes, our way of spending money, we have a strong religious & community conscience that unites us in our off times. Every Wednesday we Volunteer to go pick-up food for the Church Pantry. Every Thursday we pass out food to the hungry. That is four hours & four hours that we have spent enjoying what we do & each other... Differences do not have to be a bad thing. We met on a Plane trip arriving to Orlando, FL. We both lived here...enough in common to start a conversation... Just follow the lead of the talkative one & everything else, will fall into place.... Promise...
Christine De Jesus I wish it was that simple
i think everyone is special in thier own way. my mom met the love of her life at 47. theres hope, i promise you. do not change who you are for anyone. you should be loved for just being you
I met my boyfriend, now 45, 5 years ago. He's totally a computer geek, and so am I. Now we live together and play PC games together. There is hope for everyone, don't give up ;)
Pani Ka so how did you meet
I absolutely love how you spoke about how even if culture represents the idea of being different, actually doing so is challenging. I have deep respect for all the people who do on a daily basis.
My sons glasses are thick as Coke bottles, he has hearing aids, he's six and he is very different and I wonder if kids tease him because of his differences. He came home and cried for two hours yesterday. We try to talk to him but he has a hard time expressing what he is thinking and sometimes feeling. My wife and I are as different as you are, and we accept who we are and I hope my son will see that and like who he is!
I am sorry. That must suck.
Different people have so much to offer. It is others who don't see that. Different is not bad.
That is so sad if 6 years olds are already bullying a kid based on being a bit different. I hope you find a way to get him to open up to you, maybe try getting him draw or something if he finds it hard to vocalize?
If he is that upset there is obviously something wrong & you might be able to talk to the teachers/school & help him suffer a little less.
The world can be a hard for those who are different but we all have some power to help stop bullying & make everyone feel included.
cw2lido I understand. I, too, wear thick glasses and hearing aids. And, now, also an FM Loop (for hard of hearing people to have sound into their hearing aids to hear better). And I have Asperger's. And, I code websites and love X-Men and Star Trek. Yep, I understand about loneliness. It bites that this is what your son is going through. Please show him MY response to you, here, plus Mayam Bialik's video to assure him of that he is not alone in what he is gong through cus others are going through it, too. Then, also maybe get him friends that are similar so he doesn't have to be so alone.
He will grow up to be independent and comfortable with who he is if he has you guys for role models. Keep him occupied in hobbies or activities he loves. I have a cousin who is picked on for her weight and goes through the same thing but its gotten easier for her because she knows where to find her happiness now, in soccer and singing.
It's always so good to hear other people discuss these feelings. I have been the outsider as long as I can remember. I don't fit in with my family, I never have, and now that I am grown and married I don't fit in with my husbands family. It hits me like a dagger in the gut to sit at one of his family dinners, seeing how well his sister-in-laws fit in. They all love sports, horror books and fancy restaurants. They look at me like im crazy when I start going in-depth about star wars or fantasy novels. My husbands newest in-law constantly says how geeky she is and what a dork she is, but she fits in with his family like a glove, even thought she has known them 3 years less than I have, she fits in 100x better. She plays sports with them, she's loud, she joins in every conversation. Meanwhile I sit there quietly, hoping the topic will change from basketball/football to video games, books or art. The worst part is its literally impossible to explain this feeling to people that do fit in. I love my husband, but he will never understand how I feel. He always tells me "they love you, of course you fit in!" but I know I don't, and never will. Its hard, but im trying to learn to just love myself, and be okay with not fitting in.
TBH, though I have always been a misfit (facial disfigurement as a child set me on that path), I have never, ever, wanted to be 'one of the cool kids' or even had any remote interest in what those kids liked. I lived in my imagination while they were aping their older brothers and sisters. I liked different music and fashion. I loved to read and to learn. And being bullied mercilessly throughout school made me want to be less like the 'cool kids' not more.
I found my 'tribe' in my late teens, and have been a happy alternative person ever since. It's not about fitting in. It's about finding the people who are *just like you*, who are on the same level as you. Whose jokes you get, whose culture you understand. I'd much rather spend an evening in the pub chatting about Farscape or Big Bang (I frelling LOVE your show!!) than gossiping about some celebrity or other.
"aping" ... epic... GREAT word!!!! :)
its great to hear someone who is smart as her still feels anxiety about not fitting in . it can happen to anyone people need to let people be themselves and judge less and not act like they are better than everyone else.
Thank you Mayim!
I have a son who is pretty much Sheldon. Before Big Bang I kept getting advised to "have him tested" or " get him help" I knew he did not fit the main stream mould but he is an abundance of goodness. Now though he is accepted as another facet of the human experience with something to offer thanks to the work you and the cast do.
Mayim, if you have some spare time, it would make more then a day for me if you read this:
I just realized, you might just be the geakiest one on the entire show in real life. You are a scientist, you are a nerd/geek, you do youtube, you don't seem fake like most celebrities... AND you believe in science AND god. I want to write this to you, because you just became my favorite celebrity and probably the first role-model I ever had.
Many little kids, growing teenagers and even adults have a role model, but I could never say "that person is someone I look up to". I never took a super hero as someone I look up to, because I think it's just very unrealistic and I could never identify with singers, actors, or any celebrity I've known so far. The closest was probably Neil deGrasse Tyson, but then again, he does not believe in god, which is a huge point for me.
But you Mayim, are a person, who I look up to. I am currently studying computer science and plan to even want major in it as a doctor. I am only at the beginning, but I have the ambition to work for it. You really do inspire me and with that, you are the first person in my life to do that in now almost 20 years. I just want to thank you for talking to us, your fans. I want to thank you, for talking about topics, that are sometimes very controversial. I want to thank you, for giving me a role model.
You inspire me, and with all of my heart, I really do mean that. I love science, and I do believe in god and that this can go hand-in-hand.
I am sorry if you have some trouble reading this, for I am not a native-speaker. I hope you understand, what I wanted to tell you and what you have done for me. Continue to do those videos, they are very good.
I hope you are doing well, and if you read this: Please continue your day with the thought, that you just made a persons life alot more meaningful and happier and that you gave someone a person to look up to. A very good person to look up to.
Have a wonderful day :)
SirVampyr you made my day for writing about Mayim being your role model. I am a 62 yr. old woman all alone, with adult children on their own, & whom I am proud of. I have worked at so many occupations that my resume is way too long, & am currently going through an enormous number of changes, physically, mentally, socially & financially. I too have personally been struggling to find someone to be a role model & to emulate. Mayim Bialik has just filled that void for me. For many years I admired her talents as a scientist, as well as an actor. I just discovered Mayim's vlog (& your comment) & she added more to the admirable qualities I respect Mayim for: she's a Geek-Mom; able to balance a myriad of life's good & bad, work & play, & being different turning into joyously embracing one's uniqueness; she is proud of her Jewish heritage, culture, & religion - like you said above, "... AND you believe in science AND g-d. ..."; & I admire & respect so much more. I have never subscribed to anyone's online presence, but I did subscribe to hers. I can't get enough of her world view, personal view & religious pride! This was meant to be, (or as my mother would say in Yiddish, "beshert",) as I discovered her vlog while searching for an online connection to learn more about my observance of Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur, the Jewish New Year & Day of Atonement.
Gena Estrin, I am learning more observances as well.
With my oldest.
Now have tons of books to study and refresh my memory.
(I love to read.)😊
Hey Mayim! How dare you not respond to this heartfelt letter from SirVampyr. Seriously.....
SirVampyr Dear Sir-lol. Of one thing I am sure: God loves you & there is nothing you can do about it. Since I believe we are all one, this 66yr Catholic Nana feels free to say & mean this: I love you. Go with God.
It has taken my many years (40...ish) to finally embrace my "geek". And while I no longer feel the need to hide it, I can still relate to that feeling of wanting to "fit in", and the anxiety it brings on when I don't. I'm not sure that will ever go away.
The feeling of being different doesn't change over the years, the awkwardness of it. You just learn ways of dealing with it in more healthy ways and stop fighting and hurting yourself. It's still a terrible experience, but i've found it's less dramatic as decades go by. If you find yourself in an environment that's hostile to anyone that doesn't "fit in", get out if you can, find a safer and healthier environment. There's always a place to be who you are out there.
Thanks Mayim for touching this topic and the wise and kind words.
I
Agreed!
Just found your videos today. I find this so refreshing. Informative, but also inspiring. Love it!
Just found this. Thank you. Being different is hard. Being "different" and adding other life's happenings while you are young is even harder. And in my later 40s, I am learning more about me and learning to be okay with me.
Thank you for doing this Mayim. I've been a nerd my whole life, never fit in, and to top it off, I'm a cross between "Jew" and "Christian" so I can never fit into either world religiously either, which is a big deal when the whole world celebrates things you can't be part of. I make that face ALL the time at work and just smile and nod a lot.
I used to say 'well everyone else is just shallow because they don't care about the deep intellectual things', but as I've gotten older I've realized that was a judgmental thing that I only said to make myself feel better. Now I just try to embrace the geek culture and be with people who get me (and yes, I agree that's the best version of D&D)!
Anyway, again, thank you for your videos. You make us feel less alone and like we're all part of the same community. In the end, everyone just wants to fit in and be loved. :)
You just described my whole 52 years of life ... THANK YOU❣
GOD bless you❣🙏
Hi Mayim. I'm Chad. I just found your channel and I love it. As a kid I loved your show and it was if you were telling me that it was ok to be different. As adults you are still saying the same thing and I thank you for it. I'll be 41 in February and at times I still need to be reminded of this. Thank you for always being you even when it has been difficult. You inspire me.
Loved how simple you put the examples of what was geek in the past and how now it is becoming the norm. We have always been different one from another but it was not as accepted as today. Loooovee Big Bang Theory on how this is presented so you start to understand people around you! I have a geek 16 yrs old son and I'm proud of him and his geeky friends!!!❤❤
It's been a few years since i've settled with the idea that Mayim is talking about.. Being different, not understanding some conversations, people😃. I have embrased it, im proud, and, when you do so, life is so much better, you find the right people around you. It's not just nerdiness, it's life in general.. But thanks for sharing..
I dont consider myself as a geek person, but i do feel left out pretty much all the time, i dont drink alcohol and get wasted, i dont do drugs, seems like i dont do anything that is considered fun. Its nice to hear im not the only one, cause its true it hurts a lot...thanks mayim! Youre awesome!!!!
Bless you, Mayim! I have ALWAYS been the odd one out, the weirdo, even the geek or nerd, but it was not so much my brains as the fact that I had parents who were religious to the point of making me exclude myself from school activity. I had to at least put on a show that I believed what they did....or else. Meantime, I got made fun of for what I could or couldn't eat, when we were gone for a week in September or October, and why I couldn't go to dances on Friday night or Saturday night. The clean and unclean meat laws were really no problem. It was the fact that my parents believed "we are not a part of the world so we do not take part in it". It's a lonely feeling when you can't go to your own prom, to basketball games, or go on Christmas drives for the National Honor Society. Yup I was a member, but I was so not present for the weekend stuff, that not only was I not in the group picture of the NHS-ers, I was not even mentioned as MISSING. I wanted to belong, but I couldn't, even I wanted to remain sane during high school. I got punished for a seeming lack of respect for my parents or God (as they knew him). I couldn't express myself, or frustration or anger. I had to stuff it all down.
Your honesty is highly commendable. I'm not a nerd, however I can't get into the same things you commented on simply because I consider them shallow. Keep in mind, as well, that your intelligence is a gift that is appealing regardless. So being a nerd is still better than being dumb and/or ugly. Society do lay some heavy rules on us...
Mayim, you are the best. Love watching your content. There is something I learn each time I watch a video. Thank you for putting out content that’s actually worth watching.
I love this video. I have just never understood the people around me, no matter how hard I try. I always kind of figured once I got out of high school things would be different, but it didn't change in college and it didn't change in dental school (though there were more people I understood). Its just nice to hear a successful person talk about being different and it being okay. Thank you for sharing.
It's strange as I always hated being different as I was constantly picked on or judged but I also liked it, you teach me to appreciate being different and that's ok
I used to be so uncomfortable being a geek...and allowed myself to feel like it was my responsibility to search for things I had in common with those around me in order to make myself have merit in their eyes. Slowly, over time, I became more and more comfortable in my own skin, and cared less and less about those who thought I was too weird to warrant their time otherwise. Not everyone will get me, and the older I get. the more I'm ok with that. What I found is that this shift in my thinking led to a subtle shift in those around me. Now, I still don't fit in, and I don't try to, but as my own self confidence grows, it is now those around me who seem to feel like they have nothing to offer in a conversation with me, rather than me feeling on the outside of their conversations, and so they avoid spending time with me more because they don't feel they it into my world than that I don't fit into theirs.
mayim, I so understand you. ok, I am not strictly a geek but I always feel very different to others and feel like I can't relate to many people. however, I still manage to have an inner confidence in myself and I'm glad that you embrace that
OMG where was this video when I was a nerdy kid growing up with undiagnosed ADD and a stuttering problem... I know this feeling all too well. It's improved with time, but it's never gone away. Mayim, you're my spirit animal 😊❤️
yu are so so so full of wisdom and rather articulate about it all...good for you. you know who you are that is a blessing...
I love this video! I have rejected the concept of geek being in style for a while for one reason. It leaves out how hard it is to be an outcast. People take the title of geek as if they have a clue. Thank you for pointing out the truth.
You are so right. I'd just like to add something, I'm sure you would agree, too - it is hard to be different but I wouldn't want to change just to fit in. It was harder when I was a child, but once I grew up I kind of really didn't *want* to be a part of all those beliefs, ways of thinking, habits and groups of people. I now know I am missunderstood by so many people not because I'm weird or self-absorbed, but because people around me just have different priorities. I am not trying to say I am better or worse than anyone else, it's just that what I feel is important in life, most of the people around me don't, or vice versa. For example, being vegan. Or deciding not to have children. Those two decisions will get the neighbors talkin' where I live. :-)) It's still not easy but it's worth being myself and knowing "I did it my way". :-)) Now that is what truly makes me happy. Thank you for this great video. :-)
Omg i feel like this everyday! I'm 20 years old and I'm very socially awkward. I don't really follow the latest media trends, so it's hard to relate to others when i literally have nothing to say and i have no knowledge on the subjects they talk about. I always think about changing my habits and interest just so i can fit in. After watching this, it isn't a priority to me anymore. I should just be happy being me. Thanks Mayim (:
I think what you are doing is really great! I think you're going to help a lot of people!
i totally get you, I do not think of my self as a nerd or geek, but I do like some of the stuff they like. All my life I have been feeling diferent to others because I don not care about what is "normal" I always want to know and learn about other/deeper things. When I was younger I felt alone because of that, but now as a 31 year old man I like the fact that I am not "normal" and I am happy this way
I does hurt to be different. I was never a nerd,always tried to be cool. But now at the age of 45 I think I'm the nerdiest person I know and I love it. That's why I'm different and alone. It doesn't bother me because there are more things in life than fashion and gossiping about others.
I've just started watching your channel and love your message! Thank you for being "different" !!!
Mayim, you are my role model!! It's awesome that I finally have someone to relate to! Thank you for being amazing!! Such a huge fan!!
You are incredible! I love watching your videos and how "real" you are. I was number one fan in Blossom and I can't love you more in tbbt!
it sounds SO much familiar, thanks so much for this and the analogy of X-Men, I use to think that feeling was just for a teenager out of everything, not an infant, not an adult, not interested for the perfect smile and total focused in space, software systems, DNA, other dimensions, other galaxies!! still been sad to know how people care less for those and care too much about a facebook profile picture
Being different. Being the only five-year-old in my new entrant's class to announce my favourite music to be "Classical" and therefore receiving scorn from the teacher, being the only boy in that school that didn't want to be on the rugby team, being part of a very small handful of kids at school that enjoyed reading superhero comics and could name more than three characters, being the only kid in high school that could draw and explain a diagram of the Apollo atmosphere recycling system, enjoying and being the best at science classes (and therefore being the favourite student of the science teachers), studying languages instead of woodwork and metalwork, being more interested in reading than most sports (and playing uncool sports like indoor bowls and table tennis... actually being _good_ at indoor bowls but seriously bad at baseball, rugby and cricket) - and reading Science Fiction instead of pulpy westerns, being one of the strange ones who took Applied Mathematics because it was the first subject in our high-school that included learning how to program a computer, being a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek and other "weird sh*t".
And getting a lot of grief for these things over the years - including being on the receiving end of violence.
Geekiness has become more socially acceptable due to the wide prevalence of personal computers and phones that are basically just really small personal computers and people started to understand that the nerdy kid from school grew up to be an adult that can clean the viruses off your computer after you visit that Russian "erotica" site...
Superhero movies are really popular, now, and it's not such a social death sentence to admit to watching them - except in front of a dwindling minority of people - which is excellent... we finally get to see decent budgets lavished on things we want to watch. But geeks are still different - as popular or acceptable or mainstream as comic-book-based movies might be, geeks still tend to be more heavily into them than the "average" member of the public is.
It's been a long road from "social outcast" to "marginally acceptable and occasionally useful" but we're still "different"; still not "normal" in the eyes of many people. "Enjoying _Avengers_ - fine, it's an exciting movie. But eagerly awaiting each installment of the franchise, having figurines of the characters in your house and completely losing your sh*t when they make a surprise reveal of some character that 'normal' people have to look up on Google to know who it's supposed to be? That's seriously weird..."
Great video, Mayim, glad I found your channel. Sub'd. Looking forward to watching more.
And thanks to you and the others on _The Big Bang Theory_ for all the laughs. Sad to see it coming to an end.
Geek = introvert? Cuz I don't think that geeks are the only ones with this problem...
Hi Mayim, I can totally relate to everything you've said here. My whole life I have always been "the different one" or "the odd one". Even now at 25 years old I still suffer from this. Having recently started a new job working for a government department i was hoping that this wouldn't be an issue anymore. But it is, I am training in a group of 16 people including me, but most of the time it feels like a class of 15. I try and join in and add to the conversation but people just go quiet and it becomes very clear that i'm not welcome. Its so depressing and heart breaking when all you want is to just have a nice conversation with a group of people that you'll be spending the next 2 months (and some even years) with. I thought I had managed to connect with someone but those conversations have now stopped as well. People sometimes say to me "you come across as so confident" - which is a front, because inside i'm having a constant anxiety attack. How do you move past that? It gets so bad sometimes that its all I can do to not burst into tears in the middle of the classroom.
It's awesome that a true nerd can make it in to such stardom and thrive in the world of TV. I think if you want to be blunt it's about being highly intelligent and that will always be different. And Elvis Costello is fantastic.
Thanks for doing this
Totally relate to this. Even though i'm 40 and I can consider myself as a very sociable person, it's still hard because feeling out of place is something that happens ALL the time but I learned how to look blended in. But.... It's chic to be Nerd, it always was.
You’re awesome, Mayim! Stay different! Stay unique! Stay you!🙂👍🏻
"I'm geeky, but I'm still desirable." I loved the way you changed your voice for this line!
I can completely relate to what Mayim has to say about geekiness and not fitting in with the majority.
This video is the one that got me to sub to your YT channel. I watched a few of your videos so far and I'm pleasantly surprised at how accessible you seem to be even though you're clearly on the other side of the celebrity wall from myself and people like me. Thanks for being so understanding and willing to reveal yourself as just a regular person in spite of your fame and success. You've made me happier than I was before I watched this.
Mayim you’re such a great person. I absolutely love your videos. You always make me smile. Your videos make me feel way better about myself. I’m a 17 year old socially awkward, introverted and pretty nerdy transguy. So yeah fitting in was never something I did. And not being accepted for being part of the LGBT community by the people that surround you doesn’t make life easier. But there’s one thing that has helped me through tough times for years now and that is the Big Bang Theory. I just wanted to say thank you🙃
For me, there are times when I feel left out (I'm a hard-of-hearing, glasses-wearing, Aspie single homeschooling mother of an Aspie child) - but most of the time, I don't really pay attention to not fitting in. Most people I spend time with are people who share at least some of my or my child's interests. Quite a few are either also Aspies, share some Aspie traits, or have at least one Aspie in their family. I don't really spend enough time around people with whom I have nothing in common to often feel left out (I'm fortunate to have some interests that are held by quite a few people, especially education, gardening, caring for/watching/learning about animals, and Dungeons & Dragons (which is very popular with kids around my child's age - and with quite a few of their parents). It was definitely much harder when I was in school and, later, when I was working a full-time job!
I'm 17 and I'm from Argentina, here the geeky things are not as popular as in USA so it's kind of hard to meet someone who can actually understand when you make a reference to star wars or green lantern... so, thanks for talk about this in the most wonderful way
I love ur shirt so much
know the feeling of just listening to everyone elses conversations and not laughing with them
I’m not a geek, and I’m not chic, I’m just me... I’ve spent my life friendless as people don’t get me, or they just want to use me for my giving nature! Then I married the other part of me, and he is all I need we have been together 24-7 for 14 years, as he sadly had to become my carer as my illness became worse but we are well set for the lockdown, as we have been doing it for 6 years, and we know all the pitfalls of close continuous contact ... god be with all of us right now, no matter what bracket you fall into, stay at home, and that yourself lucky you not on a ventilator!✌🏼
I totally get what it is like for people to feel left out and feel different. I had epilepsy and was having 3 to 4 seizures a week when I was in secondary school. People saw me as different or weirded and most people didn’t want to be friends with me and some didn’t even talk to me. On top of that the epilepsy game me some slight learning difficulties which made me different to other peers in the way I understood or didn’t understand different things including emotions or sarcasm. In the 5 years I was at secondary school I was only ever invited to 1 birthday party and that was on a parent of one of the few friends I had who I also went out with. Thankfully I now have moe friends and less seizures. But I still have lasting difficulties that I will always have. Excluding people is not the way for a coerce society. Even if I don’t become friends with everyone at work I will always speak to everyone because you never know if those words are the only contact they have had that week especially when those people are elderly or if they have a visual or hidden disability.
Thank you Dr. Bialik, I really need to hear that. Although sometimes I do feel like some nerds hate other nerds and that's just terrible.
I know it is creepy that I am going to fan-boy on a six-year-old video, but here goes. I am late to TBBT and even later to finding your channel, but I am binging both now. We could not be more different in terms of gender, spiritual beliefs, age, or political leanings, but I am amazed at the connection I feel with you, especially on things like the topic of this video. You have a fantastic talent to look into the lens and make your viewer feel like we have been friends forever. You have a knack for making people feel comfortable, even in our differentness. I appreciate your "this is how I feel, but I do not look down on how you feel" attitude and delivery. I wish the rest of the social media world would approach things that way. Thank you for this video and the many more that will encourage me.
Oh yes! This is why I love supergirl :D
And yes, it's so hard to explain why you're 'different' to someone who fits in (honestly it is a mystery how someone could just fit it) Recently someone asked why I didn't fit in in secondary school and I didn't know how to explain it, but you nailed it right on the head.
When I watched this video was the first time that I didn't feel alone. Thank you for this. Thank you.
Talking about fashion, celebrity and `"showbiz stuff" is just a way for faceless people to feel more important and to forget the absence of truely valuable richness in their lives. When you're hanging around too often with such people you start to feel the diffrence in a bad way, because you think you are the only one that doesn't fit in. But I say fuck it! This difference is good and important.
Thank you for your videos. You're freakin' awesome! ;)
She's a great actress in big bang theory but she also has a beautiful and philosophical mind, and thinks about things that others wouldn't. I think that it's important for people who can influence others to have these qualities, and to be different, because not too many people will start thinking that, wow, my personality isn't the only kind on the planet, and not everyone thinks that this is cool. Not until someone points it out to them. Honestly though, I don't think that too many people will think about others at all in my middle school until they become aware that they are NOT the only person on the planet who has preferences, and a personality.
Yep, no matter how many people are "with us", we're always loneliest in a crowd, because it drives home just how different we are from the masses around us. As far as being social goes, I'm about halfway between Leonard and Stewart, to use BBT references...even had my own comic shop for a while...
This video had me tearing up. It's so hard to believe other people feel the way I do. Obviously I get it intellectually but from an emotional standpoint it's a revelation.
Yeah, I'm in college and feeling different is my day-to-day life, thank you for this video.
I loved this video and you are certainly not alone and at the same time it does still hurt at times. I am 53 years old and have a couple of advanced degrees (Master's in Counseling Psychology and History). In my computer room I am surrounded by action figures of Superman, Batman & Godzilla along with several different models of the Star Ship Enterprise. Yet it is painful when my dysfunctional neighbor tells me "I need to grow up! "
I totally understand that feeling because I feel that way a LOT. It can be very hard sometimes and even a struggle. But in hindsight, I almost always feel proud that I just don't fit in with ,,the crowd''. If you are not loud like most people are, you are considered ,,geeky'' or simply ,,unsocial''. But I guess it's an okay feeling. As long as you have just a few people to really connect with you will be fine ;)
Ok. You are officially my favorite actress ever. Before watching this video, I watched your science and religion one where you perfectly put into words how I reconcile my own Christian faith to my career in science. As if that wasn't enough you said that 3.5 is the best edition, which it totally is.
You do not have to be a geek to LOVE your videos, you just have to smart and self aware enough to know who you are and have an interest in the your topics. I do not play ANY character video games but I love double card free cell and never lose because I stay with it until I win, most younger adults your age do not have the patience for that 'boring' game.
I don't know if I can relate to the feeling bad part. I realized early on that we are all different in our own ways - no two people are alike. I didn't play the game of categorizing myself or other people, and ignored those who tried to pin me down. That isn't to say I don't hold certain characteristics - but the point is I am greater than the sum of my parts.
Thank you so much for making this video. I feel alone all the time. Just watching this video makes me feel a little less alone.
I have always felt different and it's hard. I felt stupid because I was the only 6 year old who read science books and hated picture books . I was the only kid at school at 7 who saved my money up to buy science experiments and at 9 when I cried because I got my very own telescope I have always been obsessed with science and maths since I was little and I always got bullied by it mostly by teachers and adults. U r my role model u show me how it's ok to be different and that it's a good thing
I cant get a single break in life because i am different from most people.
I cant get a job,friends,family,home,you know,the usual "American Dream" things.
Everyone pretends to be like everyone else because they KNOW that being themselves will get them HATED and JUDGED and maybe even suffer violence.
I cant bring myself to pretend to be like everyone else,so i spend most of my time alone,at home,writing on the internet,doing my "thing"
I love this channel so hard!!! TQ for the cheer and validation. 🤓
I can relate to being different. I am a Geek who plays wears glasses, plays AD&D, codes websites, and watches X-Men, as well as does machine and house repair. about the only things that maje me fit in even remotely are playing electric guitar and piano and writing music. But, if I try hard to fit in, I lose a bit more of me, of who I am. So, I just try to be me.
They Might Be Giants are awesome! Saw them in concert. Best songs
I've always been different. Matter of fact, going to school with the way I chose to dress made other students think there was a school play. My friends didn't want to walk with me and I didn't care. At 16, I had a full time job from 4pm till midnight, 6 days a week. Then I had a new class of friends. Working in a gas station in a bad part of town showed me that my criminal friends were better friends than my "straight" friends. After College, I went on to another class of friends, Street Racers. From Street Racers I went to Car Show friends. Now that I'm retired, I've moved on to "Gym Rat" friends. I'm 66 now and my best friend is an old buddy from my street racing days. We compare daily workouts over the internet. BTW, my friend became a drug dealer while I became a Deputy Sheriff. After he got out of prison and I retired, we renewed our friendship. Matter of fact, he talked me into competing in weight lifting.
Wow.....I've never had my feelings more perfectly summed up.
Any time I wear a geeky t-shirt (like a Borderlands shirts, my Tesla vs Edison shirt, or my Smithsonian Air and Space museum shirt) and get compliments I go off on a mini tangent on why I love them. and I get weird looks. Like "wait. you ACTUALLY KNOW about that? this is weird." so that's always fun/
I know what you speak of, but you're so talented that you are able to articulate who you are...so very well.
It's Sherlock Holmes syndrome "You're a psychopath" someone tells him. His answer (from the BBC series) "No, highly functioning sociopath, there's a difference". I felt so understood when I heard that. I watch Dude Perfect posts and re-create some of the challenges with my 7 year old grandson. We cheer! I feel like my co workers and I often speak another language from one another and I've cultivated the will to try to be present and non judgmental when they speak. I find one detail to comment on to show them I'm trying to appreciate what they said about the latest hand bag or some such thrill they feel that I do not. Sometimes I just go ahead with my tasks thinking "It ain't me babe...no no no it ain't me babe" and that's okay. Yaysh v'yaysh...there are those and there are those. If you don't know the latest about the Hollywood crowd...good for you! So much less unnecessary baggage in your head.
I really don’t pay attention to what’s she saying because she is so beautiful That I really fall in love with her personality and the prettiest face I have ever seen.
I completely understand.
I like it that you are different because that's what makes you special and stand out from everyone else.
it's not a bad thing, it's unique to you.
I wish I would get to know the one, the love of my life as a bit different person.
We don't need to satisfy any group of people just to "fit in".
Our father Abraham was the different, he was standing on one side while the entire world 100% including his father standed on the other side, that's why he was called Abraham Ha'ivry ivry= me'ever=the other side מעבר, בצד השני
oooh i love those glasses on u..im a 50 yr old geek grandma(collect funko pops,comics, ufo stuff)...do what you want and be who you want..if people dont like it too fricken bad :)
I LOVE Big Bang...I could see how you grew into the part, you do an amazing job!
I feel good in my geek AND nerd status. Cuz I like who I am. (love LOTR movies AND books, I love computers & games, reading & I quote movies, love superhero movies). I do NOT dress how everyone else does. I hate reality TV and DO NOT MISS IT. I love me, and do not feel left out. I am usually able to find something to talk about with others though. :)
Mayim, you are such an inspiration.
Yes. Exactly! I'm pretty good with fitting in.. because I've managed to find other nerds to be friends with :)
Yeh the conversation at a party is awkward for me too. I stand around not knowing what to say to anyone....PS love the glasses.
Yep. As a vegan atheist, I will always be different. It really does hurt, but not enough to compromise my logic or ethics. That's why I love Spock so much.
You are amazing, and your really helpful to me, I wasn't a popular child in high school and younger and it is hard! Thank you for this video!
how am i just finding out you make these kind of videos omg i love you
Not a nerd, nor a geek - the word is individual, as opposed to one of the sheep, who run with the rest of the herd/flock, who, for the most part dont know why they are heading any particular direction, nor even the direction they are headed. The great throng make the same loud noise as they have nothing better to contribute to a deep and meaningful conversation - that is until they are seperated from the flock - at which point their lack of depth or otherwise is usually exposed quickly!
Stay strong! Your cool being u i respect u for being honest an true..
Not sure if I feel left out. It makes me sad to realize there have never been people around me who would share my passion for learning new things and for reading specifically. I like to explore this world and there are so many amazing and wonderful things out there. And yet... and yet... Not so many people to talk about them. And this feeling when you finish reading a book and you feel like "wow, this is spectacular, I need to tell someone about that" and there is noone... this is frustrating. Apart from that I guess I feel fine, so long as I don't really care what other people think about me. There is me and there are them. We have only one life to care how another person feels about you.
Oh and yes, x-men rock!
like "witches" standing between theirselfs and society
as staying/ living between the forest and the village
but it means to be connection and a bridge 😉.....staying at the border looking onto "both" paths ...feeling it seeing it
this is true potential....