The fact the boys can go from a deep introspective discussion to laughing and joking about killing a leopard (and the roleplay that comes with it) is why this podcast is the absolute best!
I'm reading comments before I got too much into the episode, and this information that there is talk about killing a leopard has me seriously invested!
Personally same tho. This is my genuine thought process. I feel like the animals would feel my vibe and not attack me. But moths ? Birds ? They are not a vibe and plz get me out of here if they are around
As a fellow person terrified of birds; a bird and a leopard are completely different! I'll scream and RUN if a bird flies near me...flight instinct is kicking in full force. A leopard I definitely can't outrun and I'm sure if I throw a punch I might be able to hit, whereas a bird is too small, I think I might be able to fight lol
Fuhad saying he found comfort in James got me tearing up 😔. Everyone deserves a friendship where they feel completely and absolutely safe. Love that for you guys😊😊
As a counselor I LOVE this transparent and vulnerable conversation. We develop coping mechanisms in our youth and must learn how to let them go (tell that younger version of yourself "You're safe now") and identify healthy patterns. Would love to chat with you two about that process if you're down. #CultMemberPrivilege
07:50 Fuhad said he was comfortable, that he'd never had a girl he could speak to like her, he could speak to her like he could speak to James. He spoke to her for HOURS and was HIMSELF when speaking to her...AND SLEEPING with her.......and they're just friends?......🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Wwooooaaaaaoow. Yep, that would have been an end point for me too. That's so sad. I can imagine how she felt. The same way he felt speaking to her is how she felt speaking to him.... she let herself be vulnerable, because she thought they were more.....to then be told 'we're friends'......ouch. FREAKING OUCH. In the same vein, it made me sad that Fuhad was sad. He just didn't know better at the time. 😔
I was about to comment about this. You're with a girl, you know she gets hit on and she has options but she chooses to talk to you for hours, be there for you and you, open up to you, and you thought it was okay to be like "we're just friends" I would have moved on to my next option as well 🤣 like I have put my whole life on pause to be down for you.... why would you say that and then act confused when I'm mad at you.
He doesn't have a chance. A leopard carries prey that weighs 150kg up trees with its teeth. Just let that sink in. Jaw strength to carry the world's strongest man up a vertical tree, claws strong enough to get you up there. It would snap his neck like a breadstick.
When she's going out of her way to tell you that she told someone "oh I'm seeing someone" that's basically her wanting you to know "hey mate, you da one. I'm only interested in you rn." And to take that and say "ohh you shouldn't have said that" it's like "fam Im only here for fun not for the long run", at least to her so it probably hurt her a lot cuz she most likely had JUST finished putting all her eggs in your basket. That's roug man.
It's funny that people say they won't listen to R. Kelly's music but still listen to artists he wrote and composed music for. R. Kelly penned some artists biggest hits to date. He wrote 808 by Blaque, Maxwell: Fortune , Change Faces: G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T, Michael Jackson: You Are Not Alone, Whitney Houston: I Look To You, and many more songs. I'm not condoning what he did but I'm not discarding music from my childhood because people are still watching movies that Harvey Weinstein was involved with.
Not a weird introduction at all! One of the best you guys have done and so honest. Big up yourselves! As a woman listener and a fan, it would be good to hear you guys have these conversations with women (The receipts podcast?) who could potentially share a different perspective. Open and honest discussion in a safe space could influence younger viewers in a positive way to be confident with their feelings and speak their truth, as the flip side of this behaviour causes a lot of damage and trauma in return for everyone involved. Big love
Love this! Because imo what they say they perceive as them speaking ‘factual’ is still their own perspective and not a fact. Would be interesting to see what they’d think about that.
Well done guys for talking about the past relationship trauma. From my experience of helping my husband process his, more men deffo need to have this conversation. You’ve really opened the up the floor for that to happen 👏🧡
The ick stuff and social media sourced content is cool, but glad to hear some real talk between the boys again, this opening therapy session ting was great 👌🏽👌🏽
currently going through a really rough break up and listening to the first 20 minutes, has really helped me more than i can even describe .. sometimes we do meet our soulmates and it just doesn't work but we just need to be grateful it happened.
Honestly I’m confused by Fuhad’s confusion. Why would I stick around for someone who told me we’re just friends if I was looking for more? I’d be grateful to know this ASAP so I could find a man who actually loved me the way I needed 🤷🏽♀️
I think it's because you don't jump into relationships that fast. I guess it depends on your past. I had a similar relationship where we were best friends and I loved him so much. Him leaving me broke my heart so badly that I'm not the same. The idea of a new relationship actually seems scary to me so I can understand him. I wanna really get to know the next person I date, and it would be very off putting if they tried to pressure me or move too fast
I mean I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure the whole gist of his story is that he didn't realize he loved her at the time (likely due to being young and not knowing what that's like) and only realized after he'd let her slip through his fingers.
@@Lulu2u I totally understand where it is you’re coming from, but with how you’ve been “left feeling”, you should seek therapy (for relationships) before jumping out there trying to get to know anyone. That’s quite annoying and unnerving for someone that’s not in your position and is looking for someone to love and be loved by someone. I just feel someone in your position will unconsciously use others to get over your feelings about your past.
@@deejai1173 Your use of quotations confuse me, why did you write "left feeling" like that? But to your point you're right. Since I'm pretty much dating for the first time as an adult I'm still figuring out how to navigate the process. But I have found myself treating people badly and thinking I have the right to bc neither of us are exclusive and I assume the other person doesn't care either way. But I realized how detached I am to the point where I can't even show men that I'm talking to common decency (i.e clear communication). So I am taking a step back from dating bc I am not at all ready
I think his confusion came from the fact that he thought they were on the same page. He thought they both wanted the same things just for her to say she thought they were dating. I understand both sides because she should pull away if she's looking for more and he shouldn't commit if he's not ready.
Add Therapy sessions to the eps PLEASE! This is bitter sweet because I love hearing your truths but what you're saying gives me so much perspective on my ex's. They used to suddenly act like dicks and I always ended it.....now I know why.......that sucks.
This transparent and vulnerable conversation needs to happen more with men. We are providers but we also need to keep a check on our mental. LOVE this intro! 🙌
It's funny that after all his introspection he still doesn't realize that he's not just sparing the other person's feeling by choosing his words more carefully but his as well. So many guys use the "I'm just a blunt person, it's just facts" as a shield but they don't like when that energy is given back.
It's just because Most ppl who say 'I don't speak up bc I don't want to hurt ppl's feelings' are lying to themselves. What they're trying to avoid is either to feel guilty/ like shit, bc they know what they're doing is wrong or they do it's bc they are uncomfortable with confrontation. So they twist it around in their heads as if they are the ones doing someone a favour. When a mature adult knows that communication is how you fix things, this I why I think deep down they know. Also these type of 'flaws' are usually humblebrags. This guy basically 'i have a bad trait ; I care too much about not hurting ppl's feelings'. My mother has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies. She would always say that one of her biggest flaw was that ''I'm too generous and naive and ppl take advantage of me'' Like B ? No. You want attention so you fake being over the top generous and kind to get compliments and be liked. And when ppl get comfortable, she acts as if they have wild expectations and trying to extort her. When ppl didn't match her energy, bc they either think you're a doormat, a sycophant, have no bounderies; they are sOoo uNgRatEful. When ppl match her energy, she called them clingy, opportunistic and start rumors that they are obsessed with her. Bc you're so great ofc 🙄 The self-centeredness y'all..
This exchange legit confirms why it's important to be open to therapy. Not only because Fuhad starting connecting dots by talking through it (literally talk therapy) but because a professional would have listened but also paused and pointed out all these blindspots. Whereas your homies tend to affirm and make you feel heard without showing you where you're actually just justifying your patterns. It's also just entertaining to watch men realize how incredible a romantic dynamic can be when you actually give it the same respect, loyalty and genuine interest in someone of the opposite sex as a full human being aside from what they do for you. The one that got away isn't meant to be pined after for eternity; it's the cue to do some inner work to break those patterns.
As a woman I appriciate the truth you guys spoke in the beginning of the video. Understanding of how a man and woman thinks differently and accepting that and come to a way to meet and make it work is essential
Love this talk in the beginning. New to the family here, but man I resonate with Fuhad. I deal with it. Best thing I learned about it: Do not sacrifice the peace INside yourself, to keep the peace OUTside yourself. When you suppress your feels, it is a betrayal of self. You deserve to be heard, understood, & respected as well. Blessings to all 🙏🏾✊🏾
As a female, who likes women and has only been with women for the past 6 years. This healed a part of me. That’s all I’ll say. That honest talk in the beginning helped me realize why my ex’s just switched up but then cared and pulled me back in then hated me then missed me and then I was like then let’s do it and they were like “no” I was confused for a while … thank you I hear you and I appreciate the honesty.
So interesting to watch. He spoke of putting others peoples feelings before his own so not to hurt them but that stopped him speaking his truth. And then carried on to try and explain it but didn’t speak his full truth because he put the need to ensure someone else wasn’t painted in a bad light before his need to say how he felt. So heart warming to see men able to be open and honest with their feelings. I’ve only dated men who have been so emotionally unavailable I’ve been certain that’s just the norm but you’re proving me wrong, thank god! Keep up the good work
These two really have my heart and soul ! The way it goes from deep and vulnerable to laughter makes it that much more authentic, raw and real ! I love love love them😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️
When Fuhad described that situation the girl wasn’t wrong for ending what the relationship could have been she’s better than me if a guy I’m seeing said we just friends I’m blocking him & getting me some one new.
James describing what women have been refusing to believe forever: a man will make you dump him, then beg you to take him back AND HE KNOWS HE DOESNT WANT YOU. not shouting, emphasizing. Just because he's begging you to take him back but it's NOT because he actually wants you. I'm HERE for the self-awareness, the growth, but especially the HEALING.
Sabotaging a relationship rather that just keeping it real is being a coward. I will literally tell someone “I’m not happy, we should just be friends “
I think the concept of not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings comes from wanting to have your cake and eat it too. I don’t think it completely has to do with just hurting someone’s feelings - it’s the fact that when you do so you might get a whole new person which is an uneasy thought or thing to deal with.
🎯🎯🎯 and even though he admitted a couple times he wanted his cake and to eat it too, his "solution" isn't to stop entertaining misaligned relationships, it's to _soften_ his truthful delivery in the hopes that he can still receive the same level of access and effort lol It's a learning process, but he could speed it up by talking to someone who isn't just going to validate him. 😬
The therapy session y’all had is REAL TALK. The fact with out feeling struggle is REAL! Being married for almost a decade my Hubby has had to say to me babe this is what it is these are the facts get out your feelings. And he be right EVERY SINGLE TIME! You feelings are just that what you are feeling and most times it’s not the REALITY of the situation. Being able to have that type of dialogue with some one takes emotional trust. You gentlemen notice that and that is SO GOOD!!! Annnddd love love love your show. It was nice seeing you both speak on some deep issues! Loved it! 😊
I'd much rather be a li'l bit hurt understanding the truth, than much more hurt after time from a lie. It might be a scary and uncomfortable conversation but it can be done compassionately, knowing the other persons feelings and where you stand sooner than later is ultimately best for everyone 🥰🐆
It took a good man to make me realize that I will do or say anything to appease the people around me. He always reassures me that he isn't going anywhere and there is no situation in which he will require appeasement. We just need to be open ❤
Not to be dramatic, but I legitimately think the discussion at the end helped me understand what went wrong in my marriage and how we ended up getting divorced. As you say, it's long all around but I really think I have a smidge more understanding now than I did before -- thank you for being so open and candid. I"ve learned things about what guys go through and how y'all understand the world in so many ways, and I've only been around about a month. You're lowkey doing the lord's work. Great show.
8:15 Fuhad, thank you for sharing. You were right to be honest. And she was right to give you less energy based on the misalignment. If by “repair” you mean that your feelings became stronger toward her and you wanted her full attention again, that simply would’ve required a clearly stated desire to be with her and commit, followed by direct pursuit. If she was still available, that’s it. To all: The hard truth is that keeping things from a person so they don’t react or respond in a way you don’t want, is simply manipulative. Anyone can be honest with me, because I’m honest with myself.
People pleaser trait is what Fuhad is describing. I think a lot of people have this trait. Disregarding their own feelings or emotions for the sake of others or to avoid conflict.
new follower here! been binging all episodes for a few days now. im so appreciative of Fuhad's therapy session. I am always wondering why my significant other is always so cold and emotionless in his communication towards me. There's plenty that comes from his actions that shows he loves me, no doubt, but i am a huge communicator and very affirming with my words and I expect that back so when he sticks to being factual and in my eyes "cold" im always being a crybaby like "oh you dont love me". but never thought of or seen it from this perspective.... It might not be exactly his reason at all... but this point of view is appreciated. 💕💕
I can totally relate, hubby won’t say much but give up his world in a heart bite, ask how high if I say jump, I do wish he says how much he loves me more though.14 years married today🎉
I needed to watch this for that beginning convo. I did the same things you guys talked about and now I’m falling into that situation again and didn’t know how to approach it but y’all reminded me.
I love how sincere and honest you guys were about how (like many of us!) want to people please rather than be completely honest with the other person about how we feel and not prioritize ourselves and our truth. It is a real issue that should be addressed bc everyone in the long term come out as winners when we say is how it is with, obviously tact and manners. The way you guys interact with each other and clearly care for each other gives me life!
I love this chat so deeply... @14minutes in... i came outta substantial relationship with a girl where we had these moments were after months of arguing and misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions, i was sooooo wrapped up in how i said anything that i already could tell that things weren't going to have longevity.. sometimes you really do have to reach a point where you realize that it's not even about making intentions clear before explaining the feelings... I'd tried using "i" pronouns, watched podcasts, read books, tried exercises we could work though.. i just hada finally understand that this person was not willing to hear me irrespective of how i said things or were ready to shift from defense mode and nothing i could do would help. Finding where that breaking point is is the toughest thing. it's been 6 months. i still have days were i can't believe how small i made myself by trying to be the bigger person
@@chiannegibbs9462 it's deep bruhv.... update: we've chatted since. it's been a year. She's apologized for being that way. Ive apologized for not making my requirements more clear from the get go. She's moved countries. We said goodbye amicably and wished each other well = the best possible outcome
As an introvert I’ve concluded that I’ll just be single forever because I value “me” time too much to deal with people. Like I literally can’t function without down time from people and when I am forced to be with people, I become passive aggressive and don’t really mean to be. Help, how do I fix this😭
Find another introvert. I’m highly introverted and so is my husband. We can be in the house in separate rooms doing our own thing, perfectly happy. We’ve been married almost 12 years.
I really love this intro. It's weird that I could relax how they both felt to my life and I'm not even in a relationship. Friendships are relationships anyway. Really hope to see more of this THERAPY SESSIONS. LOVE❤️
This is why I subbed back in the day, the general life advice fuhad was giving at the start of the podcast just doesn't come around unless you're with the boys that have already been through it
Being American/Zambian. I can indeed confirm, Dogs in Zambia are different.Those MF’s just mad and angry all the time😂😂, couldn’t put it past them to fight a Leaopard. Good episode BTW.
13:33 💯 you need to always speak your truth but in a respectful way. It’s also maturity, like when both parties come together and create a safe space to communicate then that’s incredible. I communicate my feelings, and I am very confrontational. We need to be able to communicate o this will be train smash.
James…. I’ll speak for you all day long because I know what it’s like to be anxious and I know what it’s like to not want to face the public and I know what it’s like to be worried about what people think about you and feel like the whole world is watching you… but once you know they’re watching you you know how to play the right way. The bright way ;)
I can relate to both of you guys and it’s definitely how we were raised. With Fuhad saying he rather have someone else feel happier than himself is people pleasing tendencies stemmed from when we were younger for example your parent would show anger at you if you got hurt so instead of running to them for support you’ll keep your pain with you cause they yell or become upset at you. & also w James becoming defensive is also from when parents try to guilt trip you for even existing & your response would be like well than why’d you have me? I never asked to be born.
I love the therapy time! It was great to hear y'all dig deep and get comfortable. I do want to say imho the concept that you're protecting the feelings of women by not leaving or expressing your feelings with them isn't necessarily you looking out for them. It's a form of self-preservation and avoidance. As James said, having the language to express yourself is important. I think that's part of the issue, but I believe in my profession the less discussed issue is that you're avoiding communication for your own peace at the cost of the women you're dealing with. Looking at it as a favor isn't helpful to fix the issue
I’m at 14:45 in the video in I am über impressed with your ability/Willingness as two young men to reflect on your past and dive deep to figure it out. Score! 🎉
"called me sweaty instead of sweety", i had a bro who did this on a regular basis and she didnt even know he was spelling it wrong, the funniest shit i've ever read
My peace of mind is so critical to my health and well-being. Being authentic to myself is all I can be (and maybe this comes with age), and that's why am not willing to allow you in my space to comprise it. Because nothing you bring to the table is worth me sacrificing who I am to have your presence in my life. I would rather be without you. I love myself enough to know I am enough.
I just discovered these guys every morning when I wake up making breakfast getting ready for the day i listen to their topics it’s fucking hilarious and everyone can kinda relate to what they talk about - it makes my day more importantly helps me wake up positive and happy. ❤ from b.c 🇨🇦
I literally love you guys you lift me up so much with the laughs always got banter. But the first part gave me so much insight and I just wanted to thank you for that information would love to see you live hopefully one day keep doing ya thing guys absolutely natural vibes keeping it real too much respect xx
Fellas, I want you to know this is not just a male problem. I am a pragmatic thinker with a passionate soul and have never been that gal who conforms herself around a guy. I figure if something is irritating me now, it will do so later and its best to speak, rather than blow up in a few months because I kept my mouth shut. I have found people who can detach themselves from the emotions and look at the situation as if from a great height are the ones I can meld with in relationships. For the most part, people find this difficult as it always comes down to this: "There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. 'How much do you love me? And, 'Who is in charge?'" - Elizabeth Gilbert. And at the end of the day, people tend to buck change rather than embrace the roller-coaster.
I'm a woman and I totally relate to what Fuhad said at the beginning. I am engaged and I keep my mouth shut when I'm not happy all the time and bottle it all up. There's things I wish I could tell my partner but I don't....and the longer I go without saying how I feel, the more resentment builds up and it's a never ending cycle. It's both of our faults because how is he supposed to know how I feel if I don't tell him (he's not psychic.) But at the same time I feel like he takes it so personally when I raise an issue so I would rather just keep my mouth shut.
I’ve seen several of your episodes, normally when I’m working so I don’t really like or comment but I had to take the time to so I really appreciate the “therapy session” section of this episode! Much respect
Back in my first year when I was studying nature conservation, I was at a rehabilitation center helping with the animals. There was a lioness that was removed from a guy that bought her from the black market. The center uses her to educate people why having a pet lion is a shit idea. So once a week she was placed into a enclosure separate from her main one, so that we could clean her main enclosure. When doing this we normally feed her whatever big nice animal leg we have left that we know she might love. So this one guy I was working with walked pass where she was eating. (Keep in mind her main enclosure and the one we move her to when we clean is next to each other.) So once he was walking past her, she got pissy, because he was to close to her. She pushed her paw through the fence a smacked him on one of his calves. That was like 6 years ago and he still has the scars of her claws dragging through his skin. So that man you guys talked about is on some insane shit to survive a leopard cause those things are literally the definition agile
My current boyfriend asked me what day halloween was on this year…….asked me “is it the 25th this year?”. He asked me what the difference between a consonant and a vowel is…. He has dated me for a year, did not know how to spell my name (it’s 6 letters long and sees it every time I sent him a message). Did not know how old I was turning on my birthday. Had never heard of Jeffrey darmer or Charles manson. Thought Jack the Ripper was from modern times and asked me when I was describing him if he got away in a car - he saw a modern adaptation of him on a tv show and thought that was real life. Did not know the word crockery existed. Also did not know what a draught excluder was DESPITE OWNING ONE!!! Among a hundred other things. Yeah. I’ve had enough.
The fact the boys can go from a deep introspective discussion to laughing and joking about killing a leopard (and the roleplay that comes with it) is why this podcast is the absolute best!
I'm reading comments before I got too much into the episode, and this information that there is talk about killing a leopard has me seriously invested!
THE BESTTTTT
The way fuhad really digs
And the way james listens
Perfect combination 👌🔥
It’s everything 🔥🔥🔥
Haven't even started watching and this comment already has me laughing 🤣 a leopard of all things
James: Terrified of birds and moths.
Also James: I could take a leopard on my own 🤣
Dead ass 😂😂😂😂
That has me laughing so hard!!!
Listen🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i screamed
Personally same tho. This is my genuine thought process. I feel like the animals would feel my vibe and not attack me. But moths ? Birds ? They are not a vibe and plz get me out of here if they are around
As a fellow person terrified of birds; a bird and a leopard are completely different! I'll scream and RUN if a bird flies near me...flight instinct is kicking in full force. A leopard I definitely can't outrun and I'm sure if I throw a punch I might be able to hit, whereas a bird is too small, I think I might be able to fight lol
Fuhad saying he found comfort in James got me tearing up 😔. Everyone deserves a friendship where they feel completely and absolutely safe. Love that for you guys😊😊
you can have that with Jesus😊
@@immmawatchernah
I got someone like this he's been my mate a year instantly we clicked he brings the best out in me and I can just be myself
@@immmawatcheryou can also have it with you’re homie doesn’t have to be Jesus
@@swadexrage236I can relate to this
As a counselor I LOVE this transparent and vulnerable conversation. We develop coping mechanisms in our youth and must learn how to let them go (tell that younger version of yourself "You're safe now") and identify healthy patterns. Would love to chat with you two about that process if you're down. #CultMemberPrivilege
Can you help me?
@@mychelledismuke8234 If I can. What do you need help with?
Thank you for that! 🙏🏽 “tell that younger version of your self - you’re safe now” I needed that 🫶🏽
I appreciate you so much for this 😍
This was beautiful...
07:50 Fuhad said he was comfortable, that he'd never had a girl he could speak to like her, he could speak to her like he could speak to James. He spoke to her for HOURS and was HIMSELF when speaking to her...AND SLEEPING with her.......and they're just friends?......🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Wwooooaaaaaoow.
Yep, that would have been an end point for me too. That's so sad. I can imagine how she felt.
The same way he felt speaking to her is how she felt speaking to him.... she let herself be vulnerable, because she thought they were more.....to then be told 'we're friends'......ouch. FREAKING OUCH.
In the same vein, it made me sad that Fuhad was sad. He just didn't know better at the time. 😔
I was confused, it sounded like he was upset she was in a relationship he thought they could be more.
Growth. He probably could benefit from learning tact.
I was about to comment about this. You're with a girl, you know she gets hit on and she has options but she chooses to talk to you for hours, be there for you and you, open up to you, and you thought it was okay to be like "we're just friends" I would have moved on to my next option as well 🤣 like I have put my whole life on pause to be down for you.... why would you say that and then act confused when I'm mad at you.
Nah those are conversations that need to be had tho. Are we exclusive or seeing other people. I understand what your saying but still
@@juisijuis8490 at what cost, sad this basic lessons have to be learnt like that
James’s toxic trait is thinking he can body these wild animals 😂
Factssss!!!! 😂
He doesn't have a chance. A leopard carries prey that weighs 150kg up trees with its teeth. Just let that sink in. Jaw strength to carry the world's strongest man up a vertical tree, claws strong enough to get you up there. It would snap his neck like a breadstick.
@@davesmith826"Acthually"☝️🤓
@@pr0dbysixsomebody outsmarted you one day and you never got over it
@@fazormcghee7936😂😂😂😂
lol the part on Drake in the R Kelly segment may not be aging so well 😂😂
Exactly what I was thinking 🫣🥴
Hahahaha it did not. I gotta do it... A MINORRRRRRRR. Lol.
😂😂😂 the comment I was looking for
was about to say😂😂😂😂😂
Someone said James’ toxic trait is thinking he can fight anyone and anything and I think they’re right 😂
When she's going out of her way to tell you that she told someone "oh I'm seeing someone" that's basically her wanting you to know "hey mate, you da one. I'm only interested in you rn." And to take that and say "ohh you shouldn't have said that" it's like "fam Im only here for fun not for the long run", at least to her so it probably hurt her a lot cuz she most likely had JUST finished putting all her eggs in your basket.
That's roug man.
yeah, I would react the same way the girl reacted
It's funny that people say they won't listen to R. Kelly's music but still listen to artists he wrote and composed music for. R. Kelly penned some artists biggest hits to date. He wrote 808 by Blaque, Maxwell: Fortune , Change Faces: G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T, Michael Jackson: You Are Not Alone, Whitney Houston: I Look To You, and many more songs. I'm not condoning what he did but I'm not discarding music from my childhood because people are still watching movies that Harvey Weinstein was involved with.
Not a weird introduction at all! One of the best you guys have done and so honest. Big up yourselves! As a woman listener and a fan, it would be good to hear you guys have these conversations with women (The receipts podcast?) who could potentially share a different perspective. Open and honest discussion in a safe space could influence younger viewers in a positive way to be confident with their feelings and speak their truth, as the flip side of this behaviour causes a lot of damage and trauma in return for everyone involved. Big love
Love this! Because imo what they say they perceive as them speaking ‘factual’ is still their own perspective and not a fact. Would be interesting to see what they’d think about that.
I NEED James to give me summaries on all the shows I want to watch 😂
No fr because I’m from the us and some of the movies/shows he be breaking down for us got me INVESTED
Same!!! I kinda want apple tv now 😂@@ramaabdel-hadi9976
Well done guys for talking about the past relationship trauma. From my experience of helping my husband process his, more men deffo need to have this conversation. You’ve really opened the up the floor for that to happen 👏🧡
Girl how did you get your husband to open up about past relationship trauma? I think it's amazing that you're helping him heal
The way Bella laughed at the bridge joke 🤣🤣🤣
ps: im new to the channel, who is bella?
Same, I was wondering Bella was his ex
@@buaaw Fuhad's roommate. Whenever bro he speaks about her, it's seems like they have a pretty platonic relationship 💯👍🏾
The ick stuff and social media sourced content is cool, but glad to hear some real talk between the boys again, this opening therapy session ting was great 👌🏽👌🏽
Such a cool conversation to start out with, props for having and showing it.
47:59 hits a bit different after Kendrick's Not Like Us this year.
Girls had an insight of what a boys conversation looks like from deep to laughing 😂
What you think girls do?
@@TheFaro2011it's not a comparison tho
currently going through a really rough break up and listening to the first 20 minutes, has really helped me more than i can even describe .. sometimes we do meet our soulmates and it just doesn't work but we just need to be grateful it happened.
Truth without kindness is violence. Balance needs to be found and kept 💕✨
Beautifully said!
Honestly I’m confused by Fuhad’s confusion. Why would I stick around for someone who told me we’re just friends if I was looking for more? I’d be grateful to know this ASAP so I could find a man who actually loved me the way I needed 🤷🏽♀️
I think it's because you don't jump into relationships that fast. I guess it depends on your past. I had a similar relationship where we were best friends and I loved him so much. Him leaving me broke my heart so badly that I'm not the same. The idea of a new relationship actually seems scary to me so I can understand him. I wanna really get to know the next person I date, and it would be very off putting if they tried to pressure me or move too fast
I mean I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure the whole gist of his story is that he didn't realize he loved her at the time (likely due to being young and not knowing what that's like) and only realized after he'd let her slip through his fingers.
@@Lulu2u I totally understand where it is you’re coming from, but with how you’ve been “left feeling”, you should seek therapy (for relationships) before jumping out there trying to get to know anyone. That’s quite annoying and unnerving for someone that’s not in your position and is looking for someone to love and be loved by someone. I just feel someone in your position will unconsciously use others to get over your feelings about your past.
@@deejai1173 Your use of quotations confuse me, why did you write "left feeling" like that? But to your point you're right. Since I'm pretty much dating for the first time as an adult I'm still figuring out how to navigate the process. But I have found myself treating people badly and thinking I have the right to bc neither of us are exclusive and I assume the other person doesn't care either way. But I realized how detached I am to the point where I can't even show men that I'm talking to common decency (i.e clear communication). So I am taking a step back from dating bc I am not at all ready
I think his confusion came from the fact that he thought they were on the same page. He thought they both wanted the same things just for her to say she thought they were dating. I understand both sides because she should pull away if she's looking for more and he shouldn't commit if he's not ready.
Add Therapy sessions to the eps PLEASE!
This is bitter sweet because I love hearing your truths but what you're saying gives me so much perspective on my ex's. They used to suddenly act like dicks and I always ended it.....now I know why.......that sucks.
This transparent and vulnerable conversation needs to happen more with men. We are providers but we also need to keep a check on our mental. LOVE this intro! 🙌
That leopard segment🤣 as a Zambian I can tell you more wild stuff happens 😂 that’s just the tip of the iceberg 😭 love from Zambia 🇿🇲 ❤
As a fellow Zambian, I agree! 😂❤️
Zambia ku Chalo. Didn't believe what I was hearing
LOL i immediately ran to the comments to look for my Zambia Brethren
@@emmanuelzulu4347 LOL, same!
My country people !! 🥳🥳
Really liked the intro this week. You boys should deffo discuss more of the deep stuff
It's funny that after all his introspection he still doesn't realize that he's not just sparing the other person's feeling by choosing his words more carefully but his as well. So many guys use the "I'm just a blunt person, it's just facts" as a shield but they don't like when that energy is given back.
Exactly! Men can be flat out rude and "straight up". But if you even slightly speak the truth... they turn into a big ass baby
Exactly! The both of them are still emotionally immature.
It's just because Most ppl who say 'I don't speak up bc I don't want to hurt ppl's feelings' are lying to themselves.
What they're trying to avoid is either to feel guilty/ like shit, bc they know what they're doing is wrong or they do it's bc they are uncomfortable with confrontation.
So they twist it around in their heads as if they are the ones doing someone a favour.
When a mature adult knows that communication is how you fix things, this I why I think deep down they know.
Also these type of 'flaws' are usually humblebrags.
This guy basically 'i have a bad trait ; I care too much about not hurting ppl's feelings'.
My mother has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies.
She would always say that one of her biggest flaw was that ''I'm too generous and naive and ppl take advantage of me''
Like B ? No. You want attention so you fake being over the top generous and kind to get compliments and be liked.
And when ppl get comfortable, she acts as if they have wild expectations and trying to extort her.
When ppl didn't match her energy, bc they either think you're a doormat, a sycophant, have no bounderies; they are sOoo uNgRatEful.
When ppl match her energy, she called them clingy, opportunistic and start rumors that they are obsessed with her. Bc you're so great ofc 🙄
The self-centeredness y'all..
Exactly! I was listening and saying, “No, dude. Just be more tactful! Choose your words more carefully.”
This exchange legit confirms why it's important to be open to therapy. Not only because Fuhad starting connecting dots by talking through it (literally talk therapy) but because a professional would have listened but also paused and pointed out all these blindspots. Whereas your homies tend to affirm and make you feel heard without showing you where you're actually just justifying your patterns.
It's also just entertaining to watch men realize how incredible a romantic dynamic can be when you actually give it the same respect, loyalty and genuine interest in someone of the opposite sex as a full human being aside from what they do for you. The one that got away isn't meant to be pined after for eternity; it's the cue to do some inner work to break those patterns.
As a woman I appriciate the truth you guys spoke in the beginning of the video. Understanding of how a man and woman thinks differently and accepting that and come to a way to meet and make it work is essential
James is feeling his M'Baku against that leopard!
Love this talk in the beginning. New to the family here, but man I resonate with Fuhad. I deal with it. Best thing I learned about it: Do not sacrifice the peace INside yourself, to keep the peace OUTside yourself. When you suppress your feels, it is a betrayal of self. You deserve to be heard, understood, & respected as well. Blessings to all 🙏🏾✊🏾
As a female, who likes women and has only been with women for the past 6 years. This healed a part of me. That’s all I’ll say. That honest talk in the beginning helped me realize why my ex’s just switched up but then cared and pulled me back in then hated me then missed me and then I was like then let’s do it and they were like “no” I was confused for a while … thank you I hear you and I appreciate the honesty.
rewatching this one and james' "stopstopstopstopstopstop" always makes me die laughing lmaooo
So interesting to watch. He spoke of putting others peoples feelings before his own so not to hurt them but that stopped him speaking his truth. And then carried on to try and explain it but didn’t speak his full truth because he put the need to ensure someone else wasn’t painted in a bad light before his need to say how he felt. So heart warming to see men able to be open and honest with their feelings. I’ve only dated men who have been so emotionally unavailable I’ve been certain that’s just the norm but you’re proving me wrong, thank god! Keep up the good work
These two really have my heart and soul ! The way it goes from deep and vulnerable to laughter makes it that much more authentic, raw and real ! I love love love them😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️😍♥️
Now I have to get Apple TV because James said, "The Servant" is a must see...Damn it! 🤦🏾♀️😂
It’s a show must see it’s on season 4 by now
Me 2 😂
When Fuhad described that situation the girl wasn’t wrong for ending what the relationship could have been she’s better than me if a guy I’m seeing said we just friends I’m blocking him & getting me some one new.
Guys should learn this too instead of complaining about the friendzone
seeing a new episode posted always makes me excited (and gets me to clean my house)
Yeaahh they get me in kitchen cheffing it up...full 3 course meals with the sides and sauces too cause I got time 😂
James describing what women have been refusing to believe forever: a man will make you dump him, then beg you to take him back AND HE KNOWS HE DOESNT WANT YOU. not shouting, emphasizing. Just because he's begging you to take him back but it's NOT because he actually wants you. I'm HERE for the self-awareness, the growth, but especially the HEALING.
Sabotaging a relationship rather that just keeping it real is being a coward. I will literally tell someone “I’m not happy, we should just be friends “
Not them predicting Drake's downfall 😅
Thank you for your transparency, you’re helping a lot of people with their own emotions and understanding others
Loved the Therapy sessions intro/section. Please do more. Its more appreciated than you actually think. Learnt so much
I think the concept of not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings comes from wanting to have your cake and eat it too. I don’t think it completely has to do with just hurting someone’s feelings - it’s the fact that when you do so you might get a whole new person which is an uneasy thought or thing to deal with.
That's it.
🎯🎯🎯 and even though he admitted a couple times he wanted his cake and to eat it too, his "solution" isn't to stop entertaining misaligned relationships, it's to _soften_ his truthful delivery in the hopes that he can still receive the same level of access and effort lol It's a learning process, but he could speed it up by talking to someone who isn't just going to validate him. 😬
The therapy session y’all had is REAL TALK. The fact with out feeling struggle is REAL! Being married for almost a decade my Hubby has had to say to me babe this is what it is these are the facts get out your feelings. And he be right EVERY SINGLE TIME! You feelings are just that what you are feeling and most times it’s not the REALITY of the situation. Being able to have that type of dialogue with some one takes emotional trust. You gentlemen notice that and that is SO GOOD!!! Annnddd love love love your show. It was nice seeing you both speak on some deep issues! Loved it! 😊
I'd much rather be a li'l bit hurt understanding the truth, than much more hurt after time from a lie. It might be a scary and uncomfortable conversation but it can be done compassionately, knowing the other persons feelings and where you stand sooner than later is ultimately best for everyone 🥰🐆
That’s the sign of a GREAT comedian when they make you laugh about shit you shouldn’t laugh at 😂😂😂
It took a good man to make me realize that I will do or say anything to appease the people around me. He always reassures me that he isn't going anywhere and there is no situation in which he will require appeasement. We just need to be open ❤
Not to be dramatic, but I legitimately think the discussion at the end helped me understand what went wrong in my marriage and how we ended up getting divorced. As you say, it's long all around but I really think I have a smidge more understanding now than I did before -- thank you for being so open and candid. I"ve learned things about what guys go through and how y'all understand the world in so many ways, and I've only been around about a month. You're lowkey doing the lord's work. Great show.
"fantasize about the claws" im actually crying😂😂😂😂😂😂
✨I love that introspective talk! love seeing men having deep, vulnerable convos
8:15 Fuhad, thank you for sharing. You were right to be honest. And she was right to give you less energy based on the misalignment.
If by “repair” you mean that your feelings became stronger toward her and you wanted her full attention again, that simply would’ve required a clearly stated desire to be with her and commit, followed by direct pursuit. If she was still available, that’s it.
To all: The hard truth is that keeping things from a person so they don’t react or respond in a way you don’t want, is simply manipulative.
Anyone can be honest with me, because I’m honest with myself.
I really like these guys !!! Both good listeners and both intelligent and funny
People pleaser trait is what Fuhad is describing. I think a lot of people have this trait. Disregarding their own feelings or emotions for the sake of others or to avoid conflict.
What James said about being oxymoronic was what kept me in my toxic relationship for 6 years 😂 that relationship trauma be HITTIN
“I won’t spoil it, but proceeds to spoil” 🤣hilarious!!
new follower here! been binging all episodes for a few days now. im so appreciative of Fuhad's therapy session. I am always wondering why my significant other is always so cold and emotionless in his communication towards me. There's plenty that comes from his actions that shows he loves me, no doubt, but i am a huge communicator and very affirming with my words and I expect that back so when he sticks to being factual and in my eyes "cold" im always being a crybaby like "oh you dont love me". but never thought of or seen it from this perspective.... It might not be exactly his reason at all... but this point of view is appreciated. 💕💕
I can totally relate, hubby won’t say much but give up his world in a heart bite, ask how high if I say jump, I do wish he says how much he loves me more though.14 years married today🎉
I needed to watch this for that beginning convo. I did the same things you guys talked about and now I’m falling into that situation again and didn’t know how to approach it but y’all reminded me.
Women walk around thinking of being attacked on a regular basis, of course she was ready. 💪😌
James, your re-caps are JUICY!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🤣🤣🤣💯
James talking about killing a leopard 🥱 😂😂😂😂😂🤣l feel sorry for his ego.
I love how sincere and honest you guys were about how (like many of us!) want to people please rather than be completely honest with the other person about how we feel and not prioritize ourselves and our truth. It is a real issue that should be addressed bc everyone in the long term come out as winners when we say is how it is with, obviously tact and manners. The way you guys interact with each other and clearly care for each other gives me life!
I love this chat so deeply... @14minutes in... i came outta substantial relationship with a girl where we had these moments were after months of arguing and misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions, i was sooooo wrapped up in how i said anything that i already could tell that things weren't going to have longevity.. sometimes you really do have to reach a point where you realize that it's not even about making intentions clear before explaining the feelings... I'd tried using "i" pronouns, watched podcasts, read books, tried exercises we could work though.. i just hada finally understand that this person was not willing to hear me irrespective of how i said things or were ready to shift from defense mode and nothing i could do would help. Finding where that breaking point is is the toughest thing. it's been 6 months. i still have days were i can't believe how small i made myself by trying to be the bigger person
That last sentence 👏🏾👏🏾 a word Mann
@@chiannegibbs9462 it's deep bruhv.... update: we've chatted since. it's been a year. She's apologized for being that way. Ive apologized for not making my requirements more clear from the get go. She's moved countries. We said goodbye amicably and wished each other well = the best possible outcome
no one is supposed to be as attractive and funny as James is. Not fair
Ditto, but Fuhad and his thighs lol 😆 🥰
Not me switching from Spotify to RUclips for the visuals 😂
The Drake sequence of the video age like fine wine
As an introvert I’ve concluded that I’ll just be single forever because I value “me” time too much to deal with people. Like I literally can’t function without down time from people and when I am forced to be with people, I become passive aggressive and don’t really mean to be. Help, how do I fix this😭
As a fellow introvert I can relate
👀 it concerns me how much I relate to this. Christmas is hard.
Find another introvert. I’m highly introverted and so is my husband. We can be in the house in separate rooms doing our own thing, perfectly happy. We’ve been married almost 12 years.
I really love this intro.
It's weird that I could relax how they both felt to my life and I'm not even in a relationship.
Friendships are relationships anyway.
Really hope to see more of this THERAPY SESSIONS.
LOVE❤️
I would be sore and sooo uninterested 😂😂😂😂 dying 👌👌👌 you guys make my day, love from Slovenia 🇸🇮
This is why I subbed back in the day, the general life advice fuhad was giving at the start of the podcast just doesn't come around unless you're with the boys that have already been through it
I loved the therapy session segment so much! It really real. I appreciate the vulnerablity and the ability to convey their emotional experiences.
Being American/Zambian. I can indeed confirm, Dogs in Zambia are different.Those MF’s just mad and angry all the time😂😂, couldn’t put it past them to fight a Leaopard.
Good episode BTW.
13:33 💯 you need to always speak your truth but in a respectful way. It’s also maturity, like when both parties come together and create a safe space to communicate then that’s incredible. I communicate my feelings, and I am very confrontational. We need to be able to communicate o this will be train smash.
I just Love how James gets his leg hairs, it seems to be a comfort thing, is that why he's always in shorts 🤣😂👌🏾
Fuhads explanation at 09:00 - 12:00 was so freaking good. It gave me such a massive insight into how men think! Love this ep guys! It's my fav!
James…. I’ll speak for you all day long because I know what it’s like to be anxious and I know what it’s like to not want to face the public and I know what it’s like to be worried about what people think about you and feel like the whole world is watching you… but once you know they’re watching you you know how to play the right way.
The bright way ;)
I can relate to both of you guys and it’s definitely how we were raised. With Fuhad saying he rather have someone else feel happier than himself is people pleasing tendencies stemmed from when we were younger for example your parent would show anger at you if you got hurt so instead of running to them for support you’ll keep your pain with you cause they yell or become upset at you. & also w James becoming defensive is also from when parents try to guilt trip you for even existing & your response would be like well than why’d you have me? I never asked to be born.
I freaking love THIS kind of content, deep and meaningful while full of fun and laughter!!
Bella coming with the turkey laugh killed me OFF!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
STOPPPPPP 😭😂😂😂 I can’t help it!
These two can always crack me up and make me think about life💫Love them
1:08:00 the movie James is referencing is “Thursday” with Thomas Jane
Fuhad didn’t realize what he had in her. 😢 He’s good now.
I love the therapy time! It was great to hear y'all dig deep and get comfortable. I do want to say imho the concept that you're protecting the feelings of women by not leaving or expressing your feelings with them isn't necessarily you looking out for them. It's a form of self-preservation and avoidance. As James said, having the language to express yourself is important. I think that's part of the issue, but I believe in my profession the less discussed issue is that you're avoiding communication for your own peace at the cost of the women you're dealing with. Looking at it as a favor isn't helpful to fix the issue
I’m at 14:45 in the video in I am über impressed with your ability/Willingness as two young men to reflect on your past and dive deep to figure it out. Score! 🎉
"called me sweaty instead of sweety", i had a bro who did this on a regular basis and she didnt even know he was spelling it wrong, the funniest shit i've ever read
My peace of mind is so critical to my health and well-being. Being authentic to myself is all I can be (and maybe this comes with age), and that's why am not willing to allow you in my space to comprise it. Because nothing you bring to the table is worth me sacrificing who I am to have your presence in my life. I would rather be without you. I love myself enough to know I am enough.
I just discovered these guys every morning when I wake up making breakfast getting ready for the day i listen to their topics it’s fucking hilarious and everyone can kinda relate to what they talk about - it makes my day more importantly helps me wake up positive and happy. ❤ from b.c 🇨🇦
Dude that drake comment ain't age well
Literally was thinking that (first time watching today) 😮💨😮💨
U guys need to be on an episode of goggle box!! It would be jokes, they need a late night addition or something n get u guys on 🤣
I literally love you guys you lift me up so much with the laughs always got banter. But the first part gave me so much insight and I just wanted to thank you for that information would love to see you live hopefully one day keep doing ya thing guys absolutely natural vibes keeping it real too much respect xx
It’s the dj’s fault that I’m stepping in the name of love bro!!💃💃💃
Fellas, I want you to know this is not just a male problem. I am a pragmatic thinker with a passionate soul and have never been that gal who conforms herself around a guy. I figure if something is irritating me now, it will do so later and its best to speak, rather than blow up in a few months because I kept my mouth shut. I have found people who can detach themselves from the emotions and look at the situation as if from a great height are the ones I can meld with in relationships. For the most part, people find this difficult as it always comes down to this: "There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. 'How much do you love me? And, 'Who is in charge?'" - Elizabeth Gilbert. And at the end of the day, people tend to buck change rather than embrace the roller-coaster.
The talk about Drake and r Kelly and mention of Kendrick all feel very topical now in 2024 lol
The way u guys got me trying to decide between extra gas money and joining patreon 🤦🏽♀️🤣 best podcast!!!
I'm a woman and I totally relate to what Fuhad said at the beginning. I am engaged and I keep my mouth shut when I'm not happy all the time and bottle it all up. There's things I wish I could tell my partner but I don't....and the longer I go without saying how I feel, the more resentment builds up and it's a never ending cycle. It's both of our faults because how is he supposed to know how I feel if I don't tell him (he's not psychic.) But at the same time I feel like he takes it so personally when I raise an issue so I would rather just keep my mouth shut.
47:22 watching this now looking back after seeing everything with Drake 😂😅
I’ve seen several of your episodes, normally when I’m working so I don’t really like or comment but I had to take the time to so I really appreciate the “therapy session” section of this episode! Much respect
The RKelly segment is HILARIOUS!!!
Back in my first year when I was studying nature conservation, I was at a rehabilitation center helping with the animals. There was a lioness that was removed from a guy that bought her from the black market. The center uses her to educate people why having a pet lion is a shit idea. So once a week she was placed into a enclosure separate from her main one, so that we could clean her main enclosure. When doing this we normally feed her whatever big nice animal leg we have left that we know she might love. So this one guy I was working with walked pass where she was eating. (Keep in mind her main enclosure and the one we move her to when we clean is next to each other.) So once he was walking past her, she got pissy, because he was to close to her. She pushed her paw through the fence a smacked him on one of his calves. That was like 6 years ago and he still has the scars of her claws dragging through his skin. So that man you guys talked about is on some insane shit to survive a leopard cause those things are literally the definition agile
Fuhad and James have me describing how good something is by the same thing.. It's a sooong, it's a moooovie 😂😂😂😂
JAMES!
The Servant is possibly one of the best show recommendation to date! HOOKED!
Yes! Sandman is a graphic novel.. worth a read..its like 10 parts.. love it!❤ the author was also involved in making it
My current boyfriend asked me what day halloween was on this year…….asked me “is it the 25th this year?”. He asked me what the difference between a consonant and a vowel is…. He has dated me for a year, did not know how to spell my name (it’s 6 letters long and sees it every time I sent him a message). Did not know how old I was turning on my birthday. Had never heard of Jeffrey darmer or Charles manson. Thought Jack the Ripper was from modern times and asked me when I was describing him if he got away in a car - he saw a modern adaptation of him on a tv show and thought that was real life. Did not know the word crockery existed. Also did not know what a draught excluder was DESPITE OWNING ONE!!! Among a hundred other things. Yeah. I’ve had enough.