Thank you for watching. If you found this valuable - would you take a moment to like & subscribe... then share this with someone you think would enjoy this conversation. Thanks. 🙂
I am an INFP. I would like to comment on what Joel said about my meta goal during conversations. For me, it’s about authenticity. I want to be able to express myself authentically and the other person do the same and neither of us misunderstanding, misinterpreting, or taking things out of context. I don’t like harsh criticisms or judgements. I don’t like boundaries being crossed or anything being imposed upon anyone. Clear communication is preferred. It doesn’t leave as much room for misinterpretation. Genuine communication is what I’m after, whether in agreement or not, as long as it’s real
I'm extremely creeped out right now. I just typed the same thing-almost word for word-to someone. I can handle disagreement, but I can't handle dishonesty (manipulation, intentionally unclear communication). Of course I CAN handle, but I don't want it. It feels like such a waste of time. Because it is!
@@Marses970, I’m not quite sure I’ve met a true ENTP. I worked with a guy who I think might have been an ENTP. He was difficult to work with, but we had some great conversations. He seemed to respect my views and the fact that I didn’t necessarily agree with everything he said. I never tried to debate the facts, but if we discussed philosophy, we were both perfectly happy to agree to disagree
Ooooo …. what fun to SEE and hear. 💖 I’m a long-time ENFP listener who has never commented before. I love all the Extroverted Intuition action on this podcast; it really lights me up as I create connections from my own observations and experience across time and space. 💥 Oh yes. Your podcast has helped explode the Cognitive Functions for me, giving me such a powerful framework from which to understand others, and more importantly, extending grace and sympathy/empathy. I love it. ✨ In this particular podcast, I was blown away over Dario’s reference to Fe as a trigger for him. My INTJ husband has been complaining about Fe for years and I have never been able to fully understand it; but to hear a fellow INTJ identify it as a trigger (and vice versa) …. wellllll that was really interesting. I am fascinated and will seek to understand that better. Thanks Antonia and Joel, huge fan here. I am grateful for your content and promotion of ideas. And I know Antonia reads evvvvery comment. 😘 I’m feelin’ the simpatico on my end every time!! I appreciate you!
I think part of the reason feelings get dressed up in reasons is because feelings are not considered worthy to the person who is illiterate and allergic to feelings. Sometimes the response is “you just need thicker skin”. When actually a thinker feels a certain way about something. They just go the long route through reasons to get to their feeling. I love Antonia’s tactic of reflecting what she heard back to a feeler (or anyone). That is actually a step in compassionate communication and can automatically make the other person feel their empathy. Beautiful. 💗
I think this technique of reflection and empathy that Antonia does would be welcome when Fi is down than the suggestion Fi needs to bring their vibe up to figure out what they need. I tend to think Fi is very in touch with what they need in abstract terms. They just have to get to the strategy or Te route to get what they need. Also, Antonia is so fkn smart 👑
I don’t think you can skip over empathy and give advice though. So Te is unwelcome when it skips the empathy component - if empathy is needed in the moment. Also when people skip to advice they’ve made the assumption on what is needed. Doesn’t Fe make that assumption as well? That they know what everyone needs better than they do? That’s a very unwelcome experience for Fi.
Thank you so much for this. I loved it! I’m an ENTP & I already knew my Ti gets annoyed by what it sees as Te trying to overgeneralize things instead of being more specific, but it’s funny to see that it goes the other way too.
Antonia, you're so damn right about how Fe needs to maintain the rapport 🎉 You verbalized it in a way I couldn't and brought me some really valuable awareness. I've noticed dominant/auxiliary T types can be amazing at disecting in a very conscious way subtle nuances in people's intentions or behaviours which I as INFJ can often times just feel on an energetic level. I'm learning to do what you do, guys. It's such a valuable tool! You can only work with something if you're consciously aware of it.
I enjoyed this episode more than any other! There are a bunch that I have saved to listen to again, but with this one, as an INTJ, I was laughing out loud at the things Dr. Nardi said. It was like, “Yes!! Like that!” Also a couple of times, I was dismayed because, yes, we’re like THAT, too. 😐
Stop trying to make notes out of their notes! They already did the work. LISTEN. HEAR. AND PAY ATTENTION. If you read this like one thing, you still have a lot of work to do. Learn to hear, learn to listen and learn to use attention.
20:37 😂😂. As an ENTP, I often find myself frustrating INTJ’s by trying to get them to play my game thinking they will enjoy it. Lesson learned. 😊. Mahalo!
What are the deeper motivations of the functions? Antonia was talking about this around 1:50:38 and asked important questions related to this topic. A show that centers around getting to the heart of each function's deeper motivations could be incredible.
At 1:35:00 she says something that just changed my life. I feel like you. It is beyond infuriating when i get cut off. Thank you! I always get told to shut up, not to say that or don’t be so loud” Daily. 😢
I have a question for Fe doms or people with Fe in general. I have Fi as my dominant function (INFP) and I sometimes struggle knowing how to engage with certain Fe friends when I can tell they're upset about something. At times they seem to view it as a rupture in the social fabric if I just come out and ask if they were offended by something, or if I try to explain my side of an interaction in the hope that we can open up a dialogue and understand each other better. lt's like I have to do a particular action or speak in some kind of code to get my positive intentions across, but I feel like I'm expected to already know what that is, and coming out and asking seems too blunt or gauche or something. So how do I repair the situation without making the Fe person feel ambushed?
Hi, I’m an INFJ, so Fe is my auxiliary function. For me it wouldn’t be about being upset that some “social norm” was disrupted, but more that I don’t want to bring the mood down by being honest to the question. It also entirely depends on how close I am to the person. It could be that I feel like it’s obvious what they did to upset me so I’m too angry or annoyed to think of a good response. Or it could simply be that there’s other people around that I don’t want listening. So I don’t think you need to worry about breaking social norms, but maybe just ask something like “Are you (whatever emotion you’re detecting)?” instead of asking a question that relates to yourself. If you ask what you did to that person, that’s assuming that you caused the problem and it’s showing that you don’t know what you did. I personally find it annoying when someone knows they’ve upset me, but can’t figure out what did it. I think if someone is asking they probably have good intentions, but if you’ve already hurt someone, it’s best to not then ask a question that will hurt them more. Also opening up a dialogue to try and bring clarity to a situation is a noble thing, but the way you say it (“explain my side of an interaction”) makes me think that if someone is already offended, that could come across as defending yourself and invalidating their feelings. It really depends on the situation, but often times there’s no need to tell your side. The other person got hurt regardless of your side. So many things play into interactions and there are so many reasons (conscious and unconscious) for everything. I hope that didn’t come across as accusatory at all. That’s just my immediate thoughts on the matter.
@@juliannah7470 Hi Julianna! 👋 Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate the window it gives me into the extroverted feeling experience. It is so interesting how different functions view things so differently. As an Fi user, I'd be relieved to know that someone didn't realize what they did, because then I'd know that they didn't do the hurtful thing on purpose and I'd learn why they did it. But I guess from an Fe perspective, if you spend all your time considering the impact of your actions on others, and you feel like the other person neglected to do the same, that in itself can feel disappointing and hurtful. I also appreciate it if someone shows concern that they might have hurt my feelings, but I guess from an Fe perspective, if I seem stressed and anxious about an apparent problem or misunderstanding, an Fe person will feel that and it will just put pressure on them to take care of me when they're feeling bad themselves. So if I just say, "Are you feeling x," that puts the ball in their court and they can say as much or as little as they want to? And hopefully they'll either talk about it or get over it at some point if I don't pressure them. That's helpful, thanks. Of course, over time people can get to know each other and kind of anticipate each other's thoughts and reactions, and try to act accordingly, but sometimes we may need to talk so we're sure that we're not just making assumptions.
No, thank you! This is so interesting for me too because I’m super unfamiliar with Fi. You totally understand what I was saying! If you get caught up in the moment, just remember that at the end of the day I think almost everyone can appreciate someone who’s just trying to understand them. You seem like a really cool person. I wish you the best with your situation.
Joel asks how intuitive thinkers go through the world knowing most people want an emotional connection … I would say for me that I use my Entp tendencies to repulse folks who are not interested in information and idea banter, and also to kinda set the right cadence for relationship where maybe someone IS interested but only for a bit. I have important friendships with esfps but we don’t spend too much time too often together. I have the same thing with xnfps. I haven’t had any lasting sfj friendships. Perhaps those perceivers and I enjoy performing for each other, and we clap for each others tricks.
It would seem, Dario has an issue with "Ti persons". It's funny as Ti does not Blast or in Dario's words "Bluubluubluubluu". 1:40:40 Apparently Ti persons rob him of his internal peace or maybe he felt attacked and this was his response. If it was a response, then his Fi failed him here.... LOL I find this most peculiar.
Wow……. The part at 1:07:00 🎉 well said!!!! My partner always says “your making it about you” when im trying to “help” . Then we fight. ♻️ Its so painful. Im already suffering from her pain She is also the one who “knows everything she DOESNT want” I cant stand that bottom line response. Its the worst. I literally have to say “im a person!”
@@jaredvaughan1665 No, but then again empathy isn't about 'feeling' others' emotions on auto. Fe is simply being aware of other people's emotions not necessarily empathizing with those emotions. When you empathize, you are actually experiencing another’s feelings by putting yourself in their shoes versus understanding a feeling. Typically, people can sympathize much easier than they can empathize. Empathy has a deeper cut and is relatively less common. Xi is a deeper function than Xe.
It is not about the accuracy of the feeling itself but how that feeling makes you feel. That’s where it’s accurate. Fi achieves that better due to having a deeper resonance with what the other person is going through. It is both more 'selfish' (due to mapping another person's experience on to one’s own first) and empathetic (due to being able to feel the resultant emotion more deeply due to it's personal nature).
Enjoyed it but it did feel like an FJ pile on at times. Listening to Dario repeat how deep his Fi is and how shallow Fe is was irritating and showed a lack of understanding.
I did my best to represent Fe, but we were missing an FJ type at the table. That said, I think it's actually good for us Fe users (even though it's lower stack for me) to hear how we're being experienced by other types. I read complaints frequently from FJs about Te users and it can pretty harsh and unforgiving. It's encouraged a lot of self-reflection for me to know that Fe isn't always experienced as altruistic as it experiences itself. Thank you for the comment. :) -Antonia
It's interesting to hear how Ti's quest for clarity & understanding frustrates a Te user whose end goal is to get things done. Frustrating to hear how Fi keeps pushing and testing Fe users to see how much they care, love, etc. Guess this is what Chase refers to as 'loyalty checks'? It's annoying to say the least. This happened recently w/ an ISFP woman I was dating..needless to say, I didn't have the patience or tolerance for it so I kindly told her I no longer wished to see/date her. "Ain't nobody got time fo dat!".
Hope this Dario fella can get off the high horse he rode in on. Not sure who hurt you but hope you can resolve it. I know Joel & Antonia are big fans but not me. No, thank you.
Thank you for watching. If you found this valuable - would you take a moment to like & subscribe... then share this with someone you think would enjoy this conversation. Thanks. 🙂
Incredible content. Inspiring, thanks!
I am an INFP. I would like to comment on what Joel said about my meta goal during conversations. For me, it’s about authenticity. I want to be able to express myself authentically and the other person do the same and neither of us misunderstanding, misinterpreting, or taking things out of context. I don’t like harsh criticisms or judgements. I don’t like boundaries being crossed or anything being imposed upon anyone. Clear communication is preferred. It doesn’t leave as much room for misinterpretation. Genuine communication is what I’m after, whether in agreement or not, as long as it’s real
I'm extremely creeped out right now. I just typed the same thing-almost word for word-to someone. I can handle disagreement, but I can't handle dishonesty (manipulation, intentionally unclear communication). Of course I CAN handle, but I don't want it. It feels like such a waste of time. Because it is!
@@laurenbatson5918, I think it’s quite common and relatable to feel this way
You must avoid us ENTPs then
What is your experience with ENTPs?
@@Marses970, I’m not quite sure I’ve met a true ENTP. I worked with a guy who I think might have been an ENTP. He was difficult to work with, but we had some great conversations. He seemed to respect my views and the fact that I didn’t necessarily agree with everything he said. I never tried to debate the facts, but if we discussed philosophy, we were both perfectly happy to agree to disagree
Ooooo …. what fun to SEE and hear. 💖 I’m a long-time ENFP listener who has never commented before. I love all the Extroverted Intuition action on this podcast; it really lights me up as I create connections from my own observations and experience across time and space. 💥 Oh yes.
Your podcast has helped explode the Cognitive Functions for me, giving me such a powerful framework from which to understand others, and more importantly, extending grace and sympathy/empathy. I love it. ✨
In this particular podcast, I was blown away over Dario’s reference to Fe as a trigger for him. My INTJ husband has been complaining about Fe for years and I have never been able to fully understand it; but to hear a fellow INTJ identify it as a trigger (and vice versa) …. wellllll that was really interesting. I am fascinated and will seek to understand that better.
Thanks Antonia and Joel, huge fan here. I am grateful for your content and promotion of ideas. And I know Antonia reads evvvvery comment. 😘 I’m feelin’ the simpatico on my end every time!! I appreciate you!
Thank you!
-Antonia
I think part of the reason feelings get dressed up in reasons is because feelings are not considered worthy to the person who is illiterate and allergic to feelings. Sometimes the response is “you just need thicker skin”. When actually a thinker feels a certain way about something. They just go the long route through reasons to get to their feeling.
I love Antonia’s tactic of reflecting what she heard back to a feeler (or anyone). That is actually a step in compassionate communication and can automatically make the other person feel their empathy. Beautiful. 💗
I think this technique of reflection and empathy that Antonia does would be welcome when Fi is down than the suggestion Fi needs to bring their vibe up to figure out what they need. I tend to think Fi is very in touch with what they need in abstract terms. They just have to get to the strategy or Te route to get what they need. Also, Antonia is so fkn smart 👑
I don’t think you can skip over empathy and give advice though. So Te is unwelcome when it skips the empathy component - if empathy is needed in the moment. Also when people skip to advice they’ve made the assumption on what is needed. Doesn’t Fe make that assumption as well? That they know what everyone needs better than they do? That’s a very unwelcome experience for Fi.
Thank you so much for this. I loved it! I’m an ENTP & I already knew my Ti gets annoyed by what it sees as Te trying to overgeneralize things instead of being more specific, but it’s funny to see that it goes the other way too.
Antonia, you're so damn right about how Fe needs to maintain the rapport 🎉 You verbalized it in a way I couldn't and brought me some really valuable awareness. I've noticed dominant/auxiliary T types can be amazing at disecting in a very conscious way subtle nuances in people's intentions or behaviours which I as INFJ can often times just feel on an energetic level. I'm learning to do what you do, guys. It's such a valuable tool! You can only work with something if you're consciously aware of it.
Thanks for the feedback. ~ Joel
I enjoyed this episode more than any other! There are a bunch that I have saved to listen to again, but with this one, as an INTJ, I was laughing out loud at the things Dr. Nardi said. It was like, “Yes!! Like that!” Also a couple of times, I was dismayed because, yes, we’re like THAT, too. 😐
Could you timestamp the important moments or when discussing a particular type, for quick reference?
Yes, I would love this, if you were willing to offer that service.
Bro. They’re all intuitives. You can’t timestamp them.
@@mariap1087 😂😭
Stop trying to make notes out of their notes!
They already did the work.
LISTEN. HEAR. AND PAY ATTENTION.
If you read this like one thing, you still have a lot of work to do.
Learn to hear, learn to listen and learn to use attention.
Start: We're all tired
2 hours later: Should we talk about sensing vs intuition?
We all have a collective sickness to keep talking. :P
-Antonia
What she said at 1:38:00 brought tears to my soul ❤
I'm a entp and trying to understand. A intjs fi and pissing him off without meaning to..
Great podcast.
20:37 😂😂. As an ENTP, I often find myself frustrating INTJ’s by trying to get them to play my game thinking they will enjoy it. Lesson learned. 😊. Mahalo!
What are the deeper motivations of the functions?
Antonia was talking about this around 1:50:38 and asked important questions related to this topic.
A show that centers around getting to the heart of each function's deeper motivations could be incredible.
We may have already recorded a podcast similar to that topic, but not yet in video form. It's a good idea to revisit the concept. Thanks!
-Antonia
I just love this discussions guys, gem💎💎💎thanks all🙌🌸🌸
🙏
-Antonia
She is now my spirit animal. ❤ wow keep it coming
At 1:35:00 she says something that just changed my life.
I feel like you.
It is beyond infuriating when i get cut off.
Thank you!
I always get told to shut up, not to say that or don’t be so loud”
Daily. 😢
I have a question for Fe doms or people with Fe in general. I have Fi as my dominant function (INFP) and I sometimes struggle knowing how to engage with certain Fe friends when I can tell they're upset about something. At times they seem to view it as a rupture in the social fabric if I just come out and ask if they were offended by something, or if I try to explain my side of an interaction in the hope that we can open up a dialogue and understand each other better. lt's like I have to do a particular action or speak in some kind of code to get my positive intentions across, but I feel like I'm expected to already know what that is, and coming out and asking seems too blunt or gauche or something. So how do I repair the situation without making the Fe person feel ambushed?
Hi, I’m an INFJ, so Fe is my auxiliary function. For me it wouldn’t be about being upset that some “social norm” was disrupted, but more that I don’t want to bring the mood down by being honest to the question. It also entirely depends on how close I am to the person. It could be that I feel like it’s obvious what they did to upset me so I’m too angry or annoyed to think of a good response. Or it could simply be that there’s other people around that I don’t want listening. So I don’t think you need to worry about breaking social norms, but maybe just ask something like “Are you (whatever emotion you’re detecting)?” instead of asking a question that relates to yourself. If you ask what you did to that person, that’s assuming that you caused the problem and it’s showing that you don’t know what you did. I personally find it annoying when someone knows they’ve upset me, but can’t figure out what did it. I think if someone is asking they probably have good intentions, but if you’ve already hurt someone, it’s best to not then ask a question that will hurt them more.
Also opening up a dialogue to try and bring clarity to a situation is a noble thing, but the way you say it (“explain my side of an interaction”) makes me think that if someone is already offended, that could come across as defending yourself and invalidating their feelings. It really depends on the situation, but often times there’s no need to tell your side. The other person got hurt regardless of your side.
So many things play into interactions and there are so many reasons (conscious and unconscious) for everything. I hope that didn’t come across as accusatory at all. That’s just my immediate thoughts on the matter.
@@juliannah7470 Hi Julianna! 👋 Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate the window it gives me into the extroverted feeling experience. It is so interesting how different functions view things so differently. As an Fi user, I'd be relieved to know that someone didn't realize what they did, because then I'd know that they didn't do the hurtful thing on purpose and I'd learn why they did it. But I guess from an Fe perspective, if you spend all your time considering the impact of your actions on others, and you feel like the other person neglected to do the same, that in itself can feel disappointing and hurtful. I also appreciate it if someone shows concern that they might have hurt my feelings, but I guess from an Fe perspective, if I seem stressed and anxious about an apparent problem or misunderstanding, an Fe person will feel that and it will just put pressure on them to take care of me when they're feeling bad themselves. So if I just say, "Are you feeling x," that puts the ball in their court and they can say as much or as little as they want to? And hopefully they'll either talk about it or get over it at some point if I don't pressure them. That's helpful, thanks. Of course, over time people can get to know each other and kind of anticipate each other's thoughts and reactions, and try to act accordingly, but sometimes we may need to talk so we're sure that we're not just making assumptions.
No, thank you! This is so interesting for me too because I’m super unfamiliar with Fi. You totally understand what I was saying! If you get caught up in the moment, just remember that at the end of the day I think almost everyone can appreciate someone who’s just trying to understand them. You seem like a really cool person. I wish you the best with your situation.
@@juliannah7470 Thank you!! 😊💕
Joel asks how intuitive thinkers go through the world knowing most people want an emotional connection … I would say for me that I use my Entp tendencies to repulse folks who are not interested in information and idea banter, and also to kinda set the right cadence for relationship where maybe someone IS interested but only for a bit. I have important friendships with esfps but we don’t spend too much time too often together. I have the same thing with xnfps. I haven’t had any lasting sfj friendships. Perhaps those perceivers and I enjoy performing for each other, and we clap for each others tricks.
It would seem, Dario has an issue with "Ti persons". It's funny as Ti does not Blast or in Dario's words "Bluubluubluubluu". 1:40:40 Apparently Ti persons rob him of his internal peace or maybe he felt attacked and this was his response. If it was a response, then his Fi failed him here.... LOL I find this most peculiar.
I think he was referring to my characterization of Ti "vomiting" pretty much right before that.
-Antonia
Surprised, such quality conversations full of ideas and observations and only 45 comments?
Who cares, please keep doing it. Absolutely engag😅ng
Thank you for the encouragement. ~ Joel
Meow Mix! So true! Female ENTPs rock!
Lol, that was adorable 😆
The other option is the Benny Hill theme music. :P
-Antonia
@@Personalityhacker 🤣
last hour was great
I agree Fi hero does not like being treated as a type. Or talking about it. Unless it is their active hobby.
Shoutout to Rogue😉 giving Ti a voice 🥰
🙏
-Antonia
Wow……. The part at 1:07:00 🎉 well said!!!!
My partner always says “your making it about you” when im trying to “help”
. Then we fight. ♻️
Its so painful.
Im already suffering from her pain
She is also the one who “knows everything she DOESNT want”
I cant stand that bottom line response.
Its the worst. I literally have to say “im a person!”
I came thinking i was an enfj and left asking myself if i am an intp…. 😅
I agree Joel's Fi = sympathy. Whereas Fe = empathy. Because Fe directly feels other's emotions. Fi simulates other's emotions.
Other way around
@@rpaafourever7908 So Fi directly feels other's emotions as opposed to directly one's own?
@@jaredvaughan1665 No, but then again empathy isn't about 'feeling' others' emotions on auto. Fe is simply being aware of other people's emotions not necessarily empathizing with those emotions. When you empathize, you are actually experiencing another’s feelings by putting yourself in their shoes versus understanding a feeling. Typically, people can sympathize much easier than they can empathize. Empathy has a deeper cut and is relatively less common.
Xi is a deeper function than Xe.
@@rpaafourever7908 One's own feelings do not necessarily accurately reflect another's. Although I agree Fi, as an introverted function, is deeper.
It is not about the accuracy of the feeling itself but how that feeling makes you feel. That’s where it’s accurate. Fi achieves that better due to having a deeper resonance with what the other person is going through. It is both more 'selfish' (due to mapping another person's experience on to one’s own first) and empathetic (due to being able to feel the resultant emotion more deeply due to it's personal nature).
This is gold . ❤
1:17:12 This was so funny
Enjoyed it but it did feel like an FJ pile on at times. Listening to Dario repeat how deep his Fi is and how shallow Fe is was irritating and showed a lack of understanding.
I did my best to represent Fe, but we were missing an FJ type at the table. That said, I think it's actually good for us Fe users (even though it's lower stack for me) to hear how we're being experienced by other types. I read complaints frequently from FJs about Te users and it can pretty harsh and unforgiving. It's encouraged a lot of self-reflection for me to know that Fe isn't always experienced as altruistic as it experiences itself. Thank you for the comment. :)
-Antonia
It's interesting to hear how Ti's quest for clarity & understanding frustrates a Te user whose end goal is to get things done. Frustrating to hear how Fi keeps pushing and testing Fe users to see how much they care, love, etc. Guess this is what Chase refers to as 'loyalty checks'? It's annoying to say the least. This happened recently w/ an ISFP woman I was dating..needless to say, I didn't have the patience or tolerance for it so I kindly told her I no longer wished to see/date her. "Ain't nobody got time fo dat!".
Hope this Dario fella can get off the high horse he rode in on. Not sure who hurt you but hope you can resolve it. I know Joel & Antonia are big fans but not me. No, thank you.