Remission
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- Cancer is messy...just like being a human. I'm starting to get my feet back under me (and also finally getting away from waiting for the other shoe to drop.) I've pretty much only had good news since the diagnosis, which has left me waffling between feeling like there's definitely something terrible right around the horizon, and like I shouldn't be so harmed by this experience with the experience of other people has been so much worse.
Cancer imposter syndrome?? Absolutely.
I'm still taking some time away to rest and recuperate because treatment has done a number on me physically, but obviously I feel really good and am very glad to be receiving (and delivering) good news.
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Hank Green beat this part of cancer and still gets to feel anxious about further problems. However, Hank Green was anxious before, and being anxious about stuff is kind of part of the process for Hank. That said, I'll keep Hank in my green candle witchy circle of protection forever. Thank you for taking us with you on this journey, Hank. I am honored.
Just selfishly wanted to say hello to a fellow witch nerd fighter!
The amount of times you explicitly said "Hank" feels like a spell and I feel like I've been caught in it. ... it's nice to be here. And I thank Hank!
Is this the start of an online NerdFighter Coven?
Cause if so this Pagan Lady is IN!
Hank Green deserves our combined Love and Energy for sure, and can 💯 add this to his extensive resume!
@@tbella5186😂 fr!
Yay for Hank!
No need whatsoever to say "However, Hank Green was anxious before." That's irrelevant, because the most chill person could easily be anxious in his shoes. I think it diminishes peoples feelings and how anxiety provoking this can be, and typically is, for people. You are basically communicating "well he's often anxious so it's no surprise he is now". I say this because many will read this and the less experienced my think it's fine and it isn't. They/?you will want to choose your words carefully when you have someone close to you get cancer as statistically and sadly, by the time someone is 40 + or so everyone has people they love have it. And many do much earlier. If you talk that way it lands as dismissive of how hard it is. Hank won't care, hopefully he doesn't read it. But someone in your life will.
The analogy of rolling a saving throw every day for the rest of your life and just not getting to look at the die to see what comes up… is SUCH a great representation of health anxiety for things we cannot easily discern.
Literally yes, just had to take my die to the urgent care Dr last night to get them to tell me what it says. Did not get an answer, just got "ummm, it looks like you might take some damage the next few days so here's some (weak AF for me😑) meds & ask your PCP to check (the die) in a few days👌"
Maybe /too/ good!
That is true whether you are living in remission or not. You never know when you are going to wake up and roll a 1.
@@rosaliac.386 I’ve been taking my die into a couple of different doctors being like “hey I think this is a 1” and they’re like “nah that’s a 20 you’re fine”
Also see the XKCD comic titled 'Lanes'. It's a powerful comic which highlights the same journey.
Two decades ago, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma, so your experience deeply resonates with me. I'm pleased to say that, in all likelihood, life will improve significantly for you once the dust settles. At this juncture, where you're medically cleared but emotionally unsettled, consulting a psychologist could provide invaluable support. On a personal note, the past 20 years of my life have been incredibly fulfilling, and I attribute much of that to the perspective I gained from my cancer journey. Trust me, there's a silver lining to be found.
Well said! Im so glad you’re better from that, and it’s beautiful how big of an impact the big scary things can have on our outlook of life when we get through. The Light is always there again. Lots of love to you and Hank and all survivors of those sicknesses. ❤️
Yes.
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Congratulations! You are a hero in my eyes 🙏
This was a very reassuring and nice comment to read. I had also been diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in early May last year beginning treatment in July and completing chemo and radiotherapy around the end of November. I have been in remission since, but the anxiety surrounding the statistics of the situation is quite overwhelming (I feel it worries me so much also because the Lymphoma was in my chest). I turned 18 early this year, and its hard to positively think about the future considering I am still so young. I have things I want to learn, places I want to see, people I want to meet, and reading your comment felt very nice. I hope the next 20 years of your life are just as fulfilling as the previous 20, and I hope so for myself too.
What Hank talked about being ‘cured’ happened to my Grandmaw. She had bladder cancer 19 years ago and a few weeks ago was diagnosed with a relapse. We’re hopeful since treatments have advanced in that time and her cancer last time responded amazing to treatment, but it’s def a scary thing to go through!
When you announced your cancer diagnosis, I was in the ICU on life support after septic shock and multiple organ failure. I was in the hospital for 2 months and had to take another 2 months to recover. Like you I also had multiple surgeries and still have chronic pain. You'll probably never see this, but thank you for documenting your cancer journey. It really helped me perservere and push through one of the worst phases of my life. I am happy that you were able to get through to remission and hope you don't ever have to go through something like that again.
yo hope you’re doing better too
I wish you all the best and the most beautiful memories to remember! Stay positive❤️
sending you all the love in the world!!!!!
sending you thoughts and well wishes buddy. take care of yourself. we need you here 🤍
Wishing you all the best friend. Sending thoughts of feeling and strength to you over the interwebs.
I've always said, 'what doesn't kill you, probably makes you anxious about what might'. But that said it can't be any bit easy living through this, but hope is a thing with feathers and I'm sure we'll hear it sing a familiar tune someday. Sending all the love and best wishes to you and everyone who's supported you and made this possible! We're all here for you ❤
Mine was "what doesn't kill you, leaves you with crippling anxiety and paranoia". 😂😂
Back when she was doing her Web Comic "Ozy and Millie," Dana Simpson had a daily strip about that saying. The punchline was: "What doesn't kill you makes you *Stranger* ." I've always liked that.
@@CapriUni ooo I DO like that one! Very fitting actually 🤣
Haha yeah the one in our family was “what doesn’t kill you, cripples you.” Fun!
It’s like Jason Mraz sang in the Remedy, “The tragedy is that you’re gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on.”
Here's something cool: Hank, your cancer journey lines up very closely to my Grandma Brock's. Except in her case, it was the cancer returning after 24 years.
In February of 1999, my Grandma was declared to be in remission. On that same day I was born. My Grandma likes to say that we share the day, as it is my birthday and her re-birth day.
Last year she went to the hospital and found out that she had cancer again. It was a slightly differnet version of the one she had before. Right around that time Hank, you announced that you had been diagnosed with cancer.
My Grandma lives in a different part of the country than me, and she's not big on texting. So I didn't know a lot about what was going on except what my Dad shared with me. Hearing about your experiences helped me to understand what was happening with my Grandma. You guys weren't diagnosed with the same kind of cancer, but I was able to see where your stories were similar. And I took some comfort from your general outlook, one that was hopeful while still acknowledging that the situation absolutely sucked.
Grandma had some close calls. At one point she was septic, and we didn't know if she was going to make it. More than once, she talked about giving up. I am so so glad that she didn't. And I'm so glad you didn't either.
Last month, my Grandma's doctor told her that she was in remission for the second time in her life. A couple of weeks later, we had a big party to celebrate her 75th birthday. She already looked healthier than she had in a while.
Hearing that you were also in remission brings this story full circle, at least for me. Thank you for being open during such a difficult, trying time. I'm grateful for the doctors scientists, and past patients who made the treatments we have today possible. I'm grateful for my faith in God and in the afterlife, because I feel at peace knowing that this life isn't the end. I'm sure grateful for my communities, both with Nerdfighteria and my family.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Here's to hope for whatever the future holds.
Oh, Marie that's so awesome! Thank you for sharing such an amazing story! You have one tough Grandma 🥰
@@MayimHastings thank you for reading! And yes, she is amazing!
@@mariebrock6716 🤗🙏🕊
I don't know your grandma, but I hope she's having a good day. ❤
@@Tarmachan thank you! She's definitely doing much better now!
16 years post Hodgekin Lymphoma here. No complications! So happy it all went well for you Hank! Sending love from Sydney.
My husband was a cancer survivor. He always said "what doesn't kill you will only make you wish it had." May the anxiety diminish and may you have a long and healthy life.
Has he since passed?
Gosh, if I could get that tattooed, I would
Is afterlife real? Maybe. Do we just cease to exist and just be nothing but a lump of cells on the ground? Define existing? Whatever right so my main take away with how we live our life is what we are in the present and the past and future is irrelevant like sure they influence us on a day by day basis but should we let that take away things from us parts of us? If we die we die end of story, we can take precautions and be careful and end of the day that's the best we can do so DONE end of worry coz you did your best so you don't have to worry coz even if the times comes extra early or very late you already did what you had to do and worrying exacerbates things like stress will kill the rest of what you have left so you are actually harming your body by worrying. Sure sometimes you can't help it but things that can't be helped is just a waste of valuable time you have left so i make it sound easy but it's not but for me anyways it beats just letting yourself get you down and we should be living the best life we can coz afterlife or not what we have now should take priority. So tell the hubby, worrying will definitely make it ultimately worst so Chamomile Tea?
I haven’t posted on these videos because it’s been hard, but I’m so happy right now I had to make a comment. I lost my mom to cancer nearly 12 years ago (shout out to SF coffee shop show 09 NF Mom!) and hearing you were dealing with it was difficult and brought up a lot of feelings. Like others who have lost loved ones to cancer I like to think the chemo trials and novel treatments she tried contributed positively to cancer research and continues to help others live longer, healthier lives. Every time I hear someone is in remission I think, thanks mom, and I’m definitely thanking her today. ❤
This made me cry. What a beautiful way to see it. My thanks to your mom.
She has definitely contributed towards treatment and that im sure of. Her efforts are not in vain. Thank you to your Mom, seriously. Everyone who had or has the disease have helped the treatment for cancer progress.
Rest in Peace everyone who has died to this disease.
Rest in Peace your Mom.
❤
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This is so sweet. Such a nice way to see it.
I recently lost a friend to it and I'm not sure why, but I didn't expect any of these comments to make me cry. I hope that Tracey's sacrifice, as well as your mum's and everyone else's can help me people have a story like Hank's
Having had cancer myself a few years ago, I couldn’t bring myself to watch your content because, frankly, it’s a huge trigger for me. But seeing how you speak about it now validated a lot of my own feelings about this. So thank you! Congratulations and I wish you all the best!
I have it right now. Took me a few days to psyche myself up to watch this video.
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That dice analogy is phenomenal for all aspects of life. Love it!!! :-) Every day through our efforts we roll the dice, but we so rarely get to see what the dice came up with on the day. All we can really know is every day we work hard towards a goal or on whatever we have going on, maybe it doesn't really affect the roll today, but it increases rhe chances of the roll tomorrow coming up with positive numbers. And that also at some point in the future we do get to see the results of those tosses of the dice we made before. In the end, as ever, you can't rush, or stop, the future. But we CAN change it in HUGE ways by small moves we do today. :-)
So happy all those small daily moves from literally humans throughout history accumulating knowledge and technology to get us to today's state of cancer research and treatment, and then all the small daily moves through these last few months by you and all the people around you have the results today for you. :-) The future in right now really is the best. :-) And I loved this video's theme and message. :-) -Daven
I agree wholeheartedly!
Hey Daven great post love Vlogbrothers and your channel.
Having CLL, I've come to terms with the fact that at some point, treatment won't work anymore and I'll have to make palliative decisions. Accepting that has really knocked out most of the anxiety. I'm not looking forward to it, but I'm no longer consumed with worry over the inevitable. And hey, maybe something else will get me anyway! Today, I am alive. Good. 😅
My mother was the same way but eventually a relapse occurs then a quick death. Once you get cancer, it will return with a vengeance in the future.
Do not expect a long life and live every day like it is the last. Like living on borrowed time now.
Good luck Sir. I still wish you many more good years in life.
I'm not going to say congratulations, because this isn't over, but I am going to say thank you - throughout probably the hardest time in your life, you've still kept teaching us. You've been so honest about the whole journey and thanks to you, everyone watching this is now so much more emotionally equipped to support people in our own lives who will inevitably have to go through this journey too. Thank you Hank, you're a real blessing.
💯#TRUTH #AGREED 🙏🍀Hank, John & All of NERD~Fighteria makes the World a Better place for Us All 🖖💞🖖DFTBA
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Agreed! Teach on, yo!
"All that comes with another side effect.... Permanent Anxiety".
Currently on surveillance for testicular cancer (2 years clean now), I know that feeling. Some days you don't think about it at all, other days you can't get it off your mind.
I know you are very busy person, getting lost in the work/hobbies always helped me with the anxiety.
I'm happy for you, and thank you for sharing this journey with us. I know a lot of people are super hush-hush about Cancer. My family (cancer doesn't run in our family, it gallops), has approached it with a very dark sense of humor and speak about it openly.
"Some days you don't think about it at all, some days it's all you think about" rings true of chronic illness as well. I'm not sure it helps to think of it that way, but it helped me realize that, so putting that out there
I'm 18 years out from Hodgkin's Lymphoma (Stage III). Happy "NED", and congrats on a battle well fought. Post-treatment was the hardest time for me. Anyone reading this who is going through treatment or post-treatment (or are caretakers for those who are)... take care of yourselves afterwards. I know the urge to get back to "normal" is so strong. But aftercare is so vital. I fell apart when I felt like I could, and didn't have the same supports I did when I was in treatment.
I hope he reads this. I'm sure he will. I think you have some solid advice here.
This is so real.
Even though it's not cancer, I went through the same grieving process with my disabilities. It took me about a year to get diagnosed both times and I accrued a lot of trauma during those times with medical sexism and a doctor shortage. I was in survival mode during those entire years - just trying to stay alive.
And then as soon as I got some kind of treatment and started to feel better, the grief came in huge waves, because it *could* come at that point. No one tells you about that.
Hooray for almost normal! I, too, was once very sick for a very long time. Now when I look in the mirror and have the energy and attention to think, "Oh no, I'm having a bad hair day," I try to make my next thought, "Wow, I must be having a great day if I can care about what I look like."
Wishing you many days of noticing and / or caring about appearances, Hank. ❤
I remember hearing Dr. K from Healthy Gamer GG talk about trauma and illness, and he mentioned how doctors and people in the medical field hear the phrase, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and then add, "... or it cripples you for the rest of your life." Living through something awful is just that, an awful event in your life. How things play out from that point depends on so many factors in yourself and in your environment. And maybe you do end up stronger in the end, but not in the way you intended or imagined you'd be.
Do you happen to remember the video he talked about that in?
My son had open heart surgery at 25. That may be the worst age to face mortality and 10 years later he’s still recovering from the trauma.
@@mossvibes I wish I could find it, but I can't 😔 He's made so many videos and streams that it's hard to figure out which one it came from.
Been living through chronic illness. It can do both - I’m far more resilient about other things but still live in constant fear of the treatment not working anymore. I’m on my third plateau of stability and I just hope it lasts as long as the last two (about ten years each).
For anyone wondering, remission usually lasts 5 years (depends on the doctor, the cancer, etc. -- also can be much longer, if not forever); after that, you can be considered cured (tho as Hank said, you are at a much higher risk for pretty much everything).
The permanent anxiety about cancer coming back is... definitely a thing. My mom had cervical cancer twice; the second time while she was pregnant with me. (For some incredible reason, her doctors wanted her to abort me; obviously she chose not to.) She had a hysterectomy shortly after I was born, so she was... technically cured, I guess...? And never in my life have I really thought of my mom as a cancer survivor, because I never personally witnessed any of the effects of her cancer, besides never having any younger siblings.
Once, a couple years ago - I was approaching 30, so 30 years after her cancer - I realized that I knew nothing about that time, and I casually asked her what it was like. She INSTANTLY burst into tears, which was... completely horrifying. My mom is a very strong woman, but just the thought of what she went through instantly broke her. She told me just a couple of things. That when she went into labor with me, there were hollows in her cheeks. (Besides that time, she's always been overweight, and usually an extremely pregnant person is larger than usual. Not that time.) That it got "so close" that she had picked out her grave. And that she still has nightmares that the cancer has come back. 30 years on and it still scares her THAT much. We haven't spoken of it again.
So, I think it's totally normal that you'd be anxious. I think when you've had a brush with death, and when you've faced treatment that makes you sicker, you'd be absolutely right to be shaken. Just, take care of yourself, you know? I don't super know what your mental health was like before all this, but I think successfully fighting off cancer means you've got every right to set aside more time and resources for mental healthcare. Whatever that means for you.
Thank you so much for continuing to educate us all throughout this experience.
My mom, 72, just went into "remission" for Stage 4a lung cancer. She responded to her chemo so well. I used the quotes because the "remission" is only working due to her receiving Keytruda (a cancer medication) every 3 weeks pretty much until she passes from something else. Her last 2 PET scans have showed no cancer in any area she'd previous had it. Despite a day or so of fatigue after her infusion, she is back to her normal life. I can see that the anxiety of the whole thing has really changed her. Hank, how would you like to be supported with your anxiety? I ask my mom and she just shrugs. I'm looking for ideas.
Your mum is so lucky, my dad (66) tried keytruda for his stage 4 Squamous Cell Carcinoma (SCC) and it helped the tumors spread. Cancer treatment is a delicate balance so I'm glad they got it right for your family ❤
Anxiety ideas: a cancer survivors group, journaling, crying, crying together, hugs, being left alone, watching a funny show/movie, watching a dramatic show/movie, watching baby animals, watching baby humans, stuffed animals, fidget toys, tummy or body pillow (biofeedback helps sometimes), likewise weighted blanket/sweaters, etc., going out to do smthn new, going out with old friends, therapy, anxiety workbooks, comfort food, baking/cooking, baking/cooking together... Sometimes ppl don't know, they just really don't know the options or can't think of anything. And it's important to remember it may be trial and error, both finding the right thing, and things like therapy. And sometimes ppl don't know, but they just want someone there, or alternatively to be alone, and that's ok too. Also important is y'know she's 72, but there's still prob grief for how she used to be, and not having to think about mortality so much.
Consider looking into psylocibin, as the first successful clinical trials for it were for cancer anxiety. Lots of homework to do and not something to enter into lightly, though.
you shouldnt compare your 72 year old mom to him because she likely had the chance to accept death has her children was married and probably came to an age where you would expect death
@@spd_17Well I'm 25, also taking Keytruda for Stage IV cancer and my answer would also be a shrug.
As another survivor of one of those “Very survivable” cancers, its always so weird to talk about. Like yeah, I lived through cancer, but not as horrible as some people have, but still the worst part of my whole life by far. Its made it hard for me to think of what to say on any of your videos because I know you’re already feeling pretty similar to how I did then. So here’s two things:
1. I’m glad you’re doing better, Hank.
2. While that anxiety about it coming back never fully goes away, it does get quieter, the life changes you have to make just become part of life, and eventually cancer becomes just “That thing I had at one point, but I’m fine now”. And that’s a nice feeling.
When I was sick I experienced this same “you beat cancer,” phenomenon. In my case, I would go on to fight for six more years off and on with a significant amount of, “but I thought you were cured,” from people on the periphery of my life. It’s a hard thing to go through anyway, but there can often be a feeling of nobody caring anymore. I’m really thankful you’re able to reach a wide audience so hopefully the amount of people understanding that it’s still a long term process goes up and the amount of people feeling a loneliness because friends and family moved forward with their lives while the survivor still had healing and rebuilding of life to do goes down. I appreciate how open you’ve been through this process. It means a lot to so many, Hank, and you’ll continue to be on our minds and in our prayers and positive vibes sent out into the ether for you moving forward from so many of us in Nerdfighteria.
I get that. When I got my bilateral mastectomy and started chemotherapy, people sent me cards and gifts. Some still send me weekly messages. But most drifted on. I posted a picture of me in my head wrap to remind them. 😂 I know. I’m shameless.
Yeah this is real. My dad has Non-Hodgkins lymphoma too and I hear a lot of “but I thought he was cured” and it’s hard to explain to random people at work why I still need to do this stuff throughout my day without necessarily going into the whole explanation about relapse and feeling like I’m just being difficult.
People thought I was "cured" just from my surgery. I've been on many different drugs for almost two years now, and now I'm on Pembrolizumab. Needless to say, I'm not cured, and still fighting it.
I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder and brain AVM at 13 and made it to 34. There’s lifelong treatment but no cure.(not a surgery candidate) You learn to do what you can and laugh when things are good because the next episode might come at any time to throw you off. I’m happy for you, Hank ❤ Hopefully we can all evolve into the best version of ourselves.
I once heard, sharing your story is an act of generosity, but I never understood that until I watched this. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Hank! You've been a great influence and inspiration!
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The anxiety of after treatment is such a real thing. My Doctor is so kind and compassionate but was very upfront and clear about what I was facing, the treatment, the odds, and what future I could expect as a stage 4 colon cancer patient. I have made it to remission after nine months of chemo and several surgeries. I know I am very lucky but for me its a matter of when and were its coming back. I make myself count each day I wake as one more win against the fear of when. Please keep looking ahead, keep moving, and keep loving.
Congratulations! My mum is going through something similar, colon cancer like yourself - it's terrifying, but the focus has to just be on enjoying the time we have now and cherishing her health while she has it.
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"Each day I wake as one more win against the fear of when" os such a beautifully poetic way to confront one's own mortality. Thank you for sharing this ✨
I hope you have many, many more wins, sending love!
I'm so sorry for your losses. May they rest in peace.
Congrats, Hank! Today is definitely a light-soaked day, in my opinion
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Light soaked, bleach injected, and de-wormed...in a GOOD way....
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My cousin was diagnosed with lymphoma this week. Because of you sharing your story I am a lot more optimistic about it that I would have been. So thank you for sharing Hank.
I know it might not go as well for her, but I know it’s not necessarily the end of the road for her either
Dear Hank,
To take us on your experience with cancer, so public greatly allow others to feel able to speak about their journey, as cancer is still largely not spoken about . So a big thank you. 🤗
Both of my parents died from cancer when I was 20 (mom: pancreatic; Dad: throat). Ever since then I have been immovably anxious about cancer. Hank, watching you (and Grace) go through treatment has really helped me to reassess my fears about cancer and remember the complexity and hope there can be treatment. Not every diagnosis is a death sentence and we are grateful to live in a moment with such advanced medicine, even if that medicine makes you feel like shite. Thank you for documenting your journey as you have
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I'm on year 6 of remission from stage 2 Hodgkin's myself, and it's so comforting to see basically every single one of my thoughts put out there by someone else, especially someone I consider such a big part of my online experience. As check-ups get further and further apart, some of that anxiety does fade...but I still sometimes find myself feeling around in my neck area every time I feel a little "off"...just to be sure. Welcome to the survivor club, Hank!
10 years for me, stage 2 Hodgkin's. I echo your sentiments
"I'm rolling the dice everyday, and I can't see the dice!"
Is a very relatable sentiment.
I have nothing profound to say, except that I'm glad you're in remission and that I hope you get to cured and stay there. I will keep you and John in my prayers regardless.
My husband had cancer at 21. He is now 66. I am so pleased you are in remission.
The permanent anxiety from having cancer once is definitely a thing ❤ it's hard to understand until you go through it. And even then all of our journeys are different so it's just hard to understand someone else's experience. The uncertainty is just so hard. You are supported and you are not alone ❤ that's the best I can say as someone that has gone through my own journey. Live life everyday. And that's something we should all be doing anyway ❤ love you all so much ❤
I hope your journey is at least as successful as Hanks has been. What you say is obviously true, and now I'm going to vent because you validated something I felt strongly about. Person above said "However, Hank Green was anxious before, and being anxious about stuff is kind of part of the process for Hank." Making it about Hank as often anxious, not what he's going through. His feelings are typical for what he's been through. I could club the poster over the head. Or at least give him a painful noogie in the arm.
@@Laura-kl7vi Thank you for taking the time to vent and for your kind words ❤️ I'm doing well. My journey was not super invasive. Thyroid cancer and never went through chemo but did have to go through radiation therapy. My first year after was hard. You don't realize how much your thyroid is responsible for. I'm in my 3rd year out of it and I finally feel like I have a good sense of my body again. But yeah like I was mentioning, even having anxiety prior to cancer, now it's just amplified. I'm not sure if it's good or bad but my anxiousness to live life is on a high constantly. It's great because I'm doing so many things that I used to make excuses over but also makes it so I can't sit still for very long. So regardless of whether the anxiety is "normal" or new it's definitely a thing
I had my gallbladder removed. You never forget that you’re not in control of your body, and that you have to literally trust other people with your life. I will always have chronic problems. This grief for your former healthy self can weigh on you, and needs careful processing.
Dealing with that, too. The medical professionals made it sound like everything would be fine if I just stayed away from fatty junk food. Things have been not-fine. All kinds of weird things have been affected, including how I tolerate medications. I truly wish they'd given me more info about what not having a gallbladder means.
"Grief for your former healthy self" makes a lot of sense. It could explain some of the other ways I've been feeling. Thank you for sharing. 🍀
@@erinmac4750
Oh, my god. This is all so very true. I am a few months ahead of you with a different type of cancer. I completed treatment at the end of June, and I got a steady stream of "so are you cancer free now?" questions. And the answer, of course, is "I don't know." But people don't want to hear that the answer isn't binary, and that while they couldn't detect any cancer at the time, it's a type of cancer with a >50% recurrence rate, and I was probably not finished. I had my first recheck last week, and it appears that I'm indeed, not done yet, but the treatment this time is probably a couple of outpatient surgeries, and then wait until the next recheck. So this is better... Anyway, I'm glad you're in remission. I hope you stay that way.
It's a huge relief that you're in remission Hank! RUclips wouldn't have felt the same without you
I appreciate knowing these things. I have a dear cousin who is currently in remission from oral cancer, squamous cell carcinoma. Came outta nowhere. She has never smoked, no alcohol, no family predisposition. She is a very private person so she has not informed us of any of her left over challenges. I'm glad to know something about them so I don't inadvertantly come across as flippant when talking to her on this side of her horrific experiences. Love and healing energy to you and my cousin. Love and comfort to our families and friends. 💛
I got bladder cancer when I was 8 and went into remission at 11. I’m 26 now, and I’ve been in the same boat of anxiously worrying to know the future. Routing for you & your health to remain so very strong!
Mazel Tov on your remission! You have been amazing continuing to make videos and educating all of us about your condition. Sending you lots of wellness vibes. What doesn't kill you gives you a dark sense of humor and anxiety issues.
My best friend, who is basically my mom, just finished her last chemo. Was very emotional.
Thanks for posting what you have throughout your own journey. It has been helpful, educational, and comforting to me on mine with my friend. 💗
Hank, I think you'll appreciate this: I found out that I'm pregnant with my first child right before I saw your tiktok announcing your remission. What a great day! I think the future is bright and I'm so so happy for you. I've been a subscriber since 2008 when I was 13 and I just wish the absolute best for you, John, and your families.
I'm not going through the same experience as you did Hank, but as someone currently in the thick of big, scary health issues, your words hit hard. I admire how you are able to hold space for the good and bad parts of what you are feeling. I will definitely be bookmarking this video to act as encouragement to me as I continue to navigate my own health journey.
I'm half French. Instead of "Good luck", we usually say "bon courage". I wish you both
Hank, my dad was diagnosed with (a different kind of) cancer around the same time as you announced. He is also considered to be in remission as of this week. I’ve really appreciated you sharing your journey and wish you the best as well.
As someone with a genetic condition that can spontaneously cause all sorts of horrible things, I completely understand the permanent anxiety thing. **hugs**
The reality is, we're basically all rolling that saving throw every day. At the start of this summer, my father came down with a nasty flu on a Thursday, went to work Monday morning, came home that afternoon to rest that evening and he just never woke up. He was 63. Tested negative for COVID, no known underlying conditions. I'm so glad to see you're pulling through - you and John have both been such a constant day-to-day presence for me and my family.
I'm so sorry
Maybe a controversial opinion, but being in remission is mentally more difficult than actively having cancer. At least, it has been for me. I'm 8 years in remission and the first two, especially, were ROUGH. Even with a relatively good support system around me. I also "just wanted to be happy" like I thought everyone expected and it's just not that simple. This hopefully goes without saying, but it's ok to feel however you feel. I'm glad you're still here Hank! 💜
Have also found that to be true. Cancer treatment puts us in survival mode. Every day boils down to stay alive and manage symptoms. It's terrible but also "simpler" than normal life in many ways. I'm 1.5yrs into remission and it's slowly getting better ❤️🩹
Agreed. My poorest mental health in my life by far was when my scan after chemo came back all clear and I didn't know how I was going to proceed with life. Which is of course the opposite reaction from everyone else that cares about you. Thankfully that crisis has since fully resolved for me.
As a person who lives with MS, and has lived with MS for over 20 years now… I feel this message so much.
I’m glad you are in a good place Hank,
From one person who is not cured, to another one… who is also not cured…
thank you for being you, and…well keep being you… as long as possible 😊
3:35 more ppl need to be saying this
The relationship we have with trauma in society is so toxic sometimes
Sorry this hit you Hank, and always always wishing the best for you
I’ve had thyroid cancer, and I have become cautious about saying “cancer-free”. I truly believe in being hopeful. My thyroid was removed. You’d think there would be no place for thyroid cancer to grow, but they still do a tumor-marker blood test. Keep praying!
I was an oncology pa for 19 years, I had so many folks schedule visits a few months after chemo totally freaked out and anxious. I started to warn patients as chemo was ending to expect this. Hodgkin's is one of the few cancers that is still curable after relapse. The only answer I could offer was to live in the moment (not easy at all) Also have a small party in 2 years, medium one in 5 and a big blow out in 10 years.Glad you did so well, the pain should gradually improve, if not may want to consider acupuncture.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is SO WRONG, you're right!
I didn't really understand that once you have one disability, you're likely to get more - until 5 years later, I got a second, more pervasive one! Yayyyyyyy. And yeah, it's very much a "before/after" feeling about life and the world and ones body and human bodies in general. I wish more people got at as deeply and succinctly as you.
But Hank - you are wonderful. This remission may feel fragile and messy and confusing, but I'm so glad you're doing better.
As Gandalf says in The Two Towers: "Breathe the free air again, my friend."
The biggest take away I have from all this besides the joy I get seeing Hank smile, is how much I've learned. A lot of the things Hank has talked about and experienced, you just can't ask someone out of the blue who is dealing with cancer "Whats it like?", because of course the obvious response is "It f%$#ing sucks, duh!". Yet with Hank, he's talked about this stuff like he was teaching a class of students. He took the questions with understanding and gave clear, percise, logical answers. In the middle of having to deal with the very thing it's self. I don't think there's enough words to discribe Hank, but I think as a teacher the best thing to hear is. You are one of, if not THE, Greatest teacher ever.
I am currently going through a miscarriage of my first pregnancy, which I would not at all compare to the experience of having cancer, but I do relate to your feelings of now permanent anxiety. I will never look at or experience pregnancy the same way again. If I do become pregnant again, the news will not give me pure joy and excitement like the first time but also be mixed with the dread of “what if this happens again”. Just something you have to take one day at a time I suppose. I’m so glad to hear you are in remission, Hank, and wish you all the best ❤
I'm so glad you made that saving throw! Success stories give us hope, even in the face of having lost family members. Now go be an awesome dad for a long, long, long time.
I just found out that my grandfather has stage four cancer and this video has been very helpful to me to get out of how depressed I've been feeling the last couple days. Thank you.
Yesss the daily/hourly anxiety is real!!! It has honestly taken me a full year until my one year MRI (which I had to fight to even get) for the pit in my stomach to go away. My mental health is frankly still subpar because I think about cancer a couple times every hour. The fact that the internet algorithm has figured out I had/ve cancer just makes sure that I’m reminded of my cancer with ads and videos every time I’m on the internet. So many cancer survivors come out of this experience with that bliss and joie de vivre and gratitude, and while it has shifted my perspective on what one’s expectations should be in life in a positive way, I’m still a little sad and a little salty and THAT IS OKAY!!
P.S. Thank you for bringing up battle language because saying that one person beat cancer means that someone else lost, and nobody is a loser for something that is out of their control. We are all just at the whim of our biology, environments, and modern medicine.
As someone who is a few months into survivorship myself, its hard in a lot of ways. I'm lucky to be in therapy and attend gildas club support group (its incredible to talk to other AYA people, they get it) and highly recommend both!
Im definitely grateful not to be in that chemo/surgery/radiation place anymore. Take it day by day ❤
Hugs to you from afar. I hope you get the support and solace you need. As someone with a chronic, but not even deadly (AFAIK) health issue, I'm challenged as it is with that, so I imagine it being more so for me personally if I had cancer (but I'm wore down by years w it so that isn't you of course). May your health be excellent during a long and wonderful life.
Talking with other AYA survivors is so huge! My cancer is one that is predominantly older women, so finally being able to talk to others my age who get the issues I'M dealing with as a 20 something was so helpful
As someone who has a couple of permanent, debilitating conditions that have upended what I thought the rest of my life was going to be like (I cannot walk for more than a few steps without assistance of some kind, and pain is my constant companion), I whole-hardheartedly concur with you when you say that people who say 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' are wrong! It makes you different; it makes you anxious; it makes you more conscious of your limitations. You are forced -- or, at least, I was -- to think ahead about choices you did not expect to have to make. If that leads to more self-awareness, than I guess that could be called strength, in a way, but it sure sucks.
I've been anxious myself about your cancer, Hank, though I don't know you at all. You're a force for good in the world, and the love people have shared for you online has been very uplifting in this world of potential cruelty. I will continue to yearn for your continued good health!
Our world is a much better place with you in it, we love you Hank Green ❤️❤️❤️
My dad had cancer in 2009, I was a freshman in high school, he was diagnosed the week before Christmas. He works in Finance so this was also peak global recession era, and he took it like a champ. It was not easy, believe me, but he too had a relatively short fight, was in remission and considered "cured" by July 2010. I never realized how much he had to go through at a time as difficult as it was, until Hank got cancer this year. Because my Dad is okay, but it still scares me to an extent, watching this process with Hank was somewhat triggering, but really makes me appreciate my goofball of a Dad and glad that he's still around.
Today, cancer didn't win and that's absolutely fabulous news 💕Celebrate, enjoy all the things!
The DnD references are perfect. My husband’s nana was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma two days ago and we’re in a different phase. The enemy is going to take the city; we’re just trying to slow the retreat and buy time until all her loved ones can safely see her and spend time with her and say what they need to say.
It was this way for my mom.
I’ve shown my husband some of these videos lately; I had a feeling her cancer was back and kind of wanted him to be more… cancer literate so if the time came, he’d not be as scared. I think a lot of the fear isn’t just of death, but what this disease progression will look like, not knowing what to expect. It’s hard to fight shadows.
I’m incredibly happy you’re in remission. Here’s to Nat 20s.
Thank you for this very thoughtful discussion on how you feel after completing your treatment. I am 8 years NED (no evidence of disease). The doctor this year said, I am considered cured. As you discussed, for the first 5 years it is NED. Any recurrence after that is considered a “new” cancer.
I did not feel like I won, I beat it, or any of those fight analogies. Immediately after treatment I was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. And the lingering side effects were terrible. It was not back to normal. I needed to come to terms that I needed to be ready to accept a new normal. I was angry and needed to process that. 7 1/2 years after my last chemo I have a fulfilling life, that is very different from what I thought, and the difference is identifiable. I am older than you (60 yo) and I am at peace that I don’t know how long I have to live but that I am and will ensure that my life has meaning, purpose, and beauty in it. I decided that I have to worry about many things but cancer will not be one of them. But true acceptance took time. I do take care of myself and do the required follow ups. In the meantime, I make sure I am celebrating life every day.
The clarity and peace of mind with which you talked about your disease and the treatment during the whole process is purely inspiring. My mom had pancreatic cancer last year and she passed away in the beginning of this year. Obviously different because this one wasn't really curable and it's one of the worst you can get, but she was mentally destroyed one month after the diagnosis and even before trying chemo. And the fact you are able to still share this information in such a peaceful and wholesome way is, again, truly inspiring.
I’m so happy for you. I passed by 5-year clear-PET scan back in February for a Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. Something’s will never be your old normal. You live with this demon in the back of your mind reminding you that this can come back, but you have to work to keep that suppressed.
I had a nurse, while I was in ICU after being diagnosed, who said “Remember the number 86,400. That’s the number of seconds in the day. Live them all”. I’ve taken that to heart and I know that my time on this blue marble is limited and I need to make the very most out of every moment of every day. I am changed and I have to embrace that. Some of the changes are for the better, others not as much.
Keep up the positive attitude. You’ve got this!
There's also a song that goes with that number 86,400 seconds. It's in the Broadway musical "Rent," one of my favorites. If you get a chance to watch/stream it, it's worth it. Now, I've got find my DVD......
Thank you for sharing, reminding me of this powerful song. May you continue having those well-lived days! 🍀🌎💜
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Hank. I’m so happy for you! It’s amazing how much you can teach, and how much I’ve learnt from you. Loads of love
Hank, I am SO GLAD to see this!! To put it simply, I really want to see more of you in the world for years to come. You are one of the great science communicators of today. And it‘s also great to see you apply that to your own medical story. Here’s hoping you are done with the Big C and can resume doing what you love.
Cancer is tricky. Fundamentally one has to accept that you can do everything 100% correct and you will fail. Sometimes the treatment that is experimental can lead to good outcomes for one person and for another it does nothing. My dad passed away 10 years ago after being diagnosed with multiple primary cancers. His first two (prostatic and NSCLC) everything was as good as it could be. The brain cancer (third primary Ependymoma) and there nothing they could do but make him comfortable. In the end his body was as one would expect. With that said this is not a cry of sympathy but rather a reminder that people may be suffering in quiet. Also this is also a reminder to tell people you love that they are special to you. It does not need to be Esther day to say I love you to anyone (but especially on Esther day of course). DFTBA Hank and rest well.
i think "you beat it" is common to hear because it sounds good and definitive. but when you're someone who lives with health uncertainty, it's actually protective to lean into that lack of control a bit. the worst downturns i've had with my chronic conditions came after periods of convincing myself it was "over". it's not defeatist to recognize and accept that your body is almost never in your control. it releases you from expecting consistency and from feeling guilt or shame when it doesn't work that way.
I’m so glad you are here Hank. Here being the internet , on this planet , in this lifetime. I’m glad I get to know you as a fellow human. You will be ok.
My mom ended up being allergic to her first chemo. But they got that figured out and she's doing good now. Im so glad that you're into your remission phase now.
“My relationship with my body has changed forever”. I usually don’t comment on videos but I had to reach out on this one. I was diagnosed with Medullary Thyroid Cancer when I was 18 and even though it’s a different type of cancer with much different treatment I related so much to the core of everything being said in this video. The state of permanent anxiety is something I deal with pretty much everyday. Some days are better than others but with every test or lab it finds it’s way back. Cancer can also be really isolating, even with a strong support system and that anxiety loves to flourish in that state. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hate knowing others are going through these same feelings but it’s also selfishly comforting to know I’m not alone in these feelings.
I guess we got a different kind of "16 weeks to glory" from the one you were chatting about on DHJ. I'm really happy to hear how things are improving, and how you managed to keep entertaining and teaching us, despite REALLY not having to do so! All the best!
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I think it speaks to the quality of who you are that when you were diagnosed, you continued to try to help others, be positive, and still make uplifting content, even if it was different than usual. You could have very easily have said screw it and spiral into depression and I don't think anyone would have blamed you. It is in stressful and horrible moments that our character is tested most and you shined under pressure. I don't know if I would have been the same way.
People never congratulate us for the simple things we over came. So this is that, for you. Congrats on doing the small things Hank🧡
Hey Hank. I just found out i have Mantle Cell Lymphoma (MCL) and treatment started two weeks ago. Very nervous! Unfortunately for me, there is no cure for MCL but there are treatments that could give me several more years of life, hopefully. Your story gives many of us hope that we can overcome the "beast" and tell an amazing story one day. Congrats and well done!
Hank, staying alive significantly beyond the untreated prognosis or "just" being in remission in my book is "beating cancer", so you did it! "Beating cancer" means something different for every patient, I think. I haven't been through it, but my wife had a prognosis of "go home and spend what little time you have left with your daughter" -- the cancer did, in the end, get her, but it was 7 years after that dismal prognosis, and by that time, she had more years of living and having happiness (amongst the periodic nastiness of cancer and its treatment) and my daughter (18 mo at diagnosis) was old enough to remember her mom, which was my wife's primary goal. In my opinion, yeah, Elise beat cancer, even though in the end she succumbed. *You*, on the other hand, have a really wonderful prognosis, and I'm so happy for you and for your RUclips fans! (More Hank for many, many more years!!) Doesn't mean the anxiety is going to go away -- it won't, I know, and every set of scans will have you climbing the walls with anxiety and dread. But with your amazing attitude about, well, seemingly everything, you've got this!
I’ve never had cancer, but I have a primary immune deficiency that makes me very, very sick a lot of the time. (It also increases my risk of cancer, but I intentionally don’t dwell on that.) When you commented on the phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, an involuntary bolt of anxiety surged through me. Then, when you explained folly of the phrase, I exhaled. I felt a huge weight lift off of me. I hadn’t realized until now how much I resent that phrase. So, I want to thank you for beautifully articulating that, and for letting people know the many other realities that occur when an illness snatches away health and normalcy. Anxiety is an understandable byproduct of life threatening illness, and it’s refreshing to hear you eloquently state that in such a matter-of-fact way. And I am profoundly relieved to learn you are in remission.
My daughter just showed me this, from someone’s whose been there, be kind to yourself. Every one expects you to be happy and ‘well’ because you don’t have cancer anymore. What your body has just been through is huge, people can’t see it, but it took me at least 2 years to ‘recover’, when treatment seems like a different life time, you may well still be recovering. Good luck
My dad beat Polio as a kid and Non-Hodgkin lymphoma as an adult. He struggles with the effect of post polio syndrome on a daily basis, but still manages to take care of my mom who has Parkinson's. Both are in their mid-70s and when I take the moment to reflect on how amazing it is they're still both alive and mentally aware it gives me reason to pause and reflect. I don't know if I'm tough enough to beat cancer and hopefully I'll never have to find out, but for those out there fighting that fight, keep on keepin' on.
Thank you so much for sharing your point of view. In the description you mentioned “cancer imposter syndrome” and I am just like THIS!!!!! Finally a word for it. My Hodgkin’s lymphoma was also very quickly treated and I have been free of it since, and sometimes I’m like “…..did that even happen?!” I was diagnosed and treated within like six months. I am so grateful that I had it pretty easy, but at the same time… it was also not very easy. Thank you for the phrase “cancer imposter syndrome”, it pinpoints exactly what I sometimes feel when looking back at what I went through. Happy remission and stay healthy, stay around ❤❤❤
It's easy to ignore the mortal dice we roll every day, until you get a bad roll. I'm so glad you followed it up with some good ones, here's hoping that keeps up for a long, long time. Congrats on remission!
"The cost of survival is losing your edge."
I feel this quote is much more accurate to most situations. You can come back stronger but only in the right circumstances.
What a wonderful human being. Hank's optimism, honesty, dedication to science, humor and ability to articulate the human condition are a constant source of inspiration. Thank you for all you do. I'm grateful you are recovering.
You did all the hard things and that is totally worth celebrating! However, cancer anxiety is a very real thing. Kate Bowler likes to say "What doesn't kill you might try again tomorrow!" which is hilarious and true. I've been cancer free for 15 years and I still get anxious about it coming back sometimes. We've faced death. You will never be the same after that.
This was a very validating video. I've gone through the exact same cancer and treatment as Hank with the same thought process. It always felt like after I "beat" cancer nobody understood the constant anxiety I still feel. Thank you, Hank. This was very cathartic. ❤
"That's like a DC2 saving throw!" 🥺 keep that friend forever
I'm so so happy you're getting better.
You may not know this...but your videos from back in the day, got me through my anatomy exams here in new zealand when I was studying canine behaviour ❤
! You can formally study canine behavior...?!
Thank you, Hank for putting into words what it's like to live with the anxiety after 'beating' cancer. I don't think I'm ever going to feel normal in my body again. It's always kind of in the back of your mind, that this little ache or fatigue or something small that could be nothing could also be cancer. It's a mental battle you fight everyday and it sucks. You just have to make peace with it somehow. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hank, when you started your chemo treatments my dad was in for his second round. I am devastated to say that he passed in July. I so wish his story was like yours. It was a very rare, aggressive cancer, and it all happened so fast. But I want you to know that despite the results, your videos really eased my anxieties throughout the journey. I even sent my dad a couple while he was enduring treatments.
That quote you shared was especially helpful. Something along the lines of “No matter the statistics, you are 100% alive right now.” That quote really helped me stay in the moment with my dad even in times where we all felt scared and hopeless. Even as his body was failing, he was still 100% alive.
He is no longer with us now, and that hurts to no end. It always will. But thank you for your optimism and hope, Hank. May this remain a happy ending for you. ❤
Hank- thank you so much for all of your cancer videos!! My uncle was (and still is) going through bladder cancer, but around the time you announced you’re in remission I received a phone call saying my uncle is nearly cancer free! Though it’s different kinds, learning about cancer through you and seeing your optimism has helped me cope with my uncles cancer! Thank you Hank! :)
I'm thrilled beyond words that you are in remission.I'm sorry that you have the risks you now have. I hope you stay well.Take care of yourself.
Thank you for this. I'm a lymphoma survivor too and this is one of the hard things to explain to friends
My old GF had cancer, and I can still remember how her doctor always told her she was responding to treatment better than most patients. She never got quite as far as remission, but the doctor thought she was close... until she wasn't, until the treatments just stopped working.
I'm glad things worked out better for Hank then they did for her, and I hope it stays that way.
This channel was randomly recommended by youtube and recognized your face! I was not aware of this channel. I am very much surprised to learn that you had cancer and I’m happy that you are on remission! I know you as the guy from CrashCourse back 5 years ago when I took another degree as a Biotechnologist and I was trying to find a fun way to understand chemistry, biochemistry, anatomy, etc. You have personally helped me so much. I wish you back the blessings you share with your viewers through the videos you help produce. Prayers to you and your family. ❤
Welcome to the nerdfighters it's weird but friendly here.
morning routine:
- bathroom
- coffee
- breakfast
- role a dice to see if your life with be irrevocably changed again
- commute
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Having had a very large benign brain tumor (meningioma), I can so relate. Just a few minutes ago I had a mini-panic attack that I had missed my follow-up after my yearly MRI. I have not; it's next week. But the way I think about my body and my health is forever changed, forever more urgent, forever more vigilant. Thank you for your honest and informative videos on everything, but particularly on this personal journey.
Through all of this, my main hope has been that Hank gets healthy enough to start up his music career again... someday. I want an Old Man Hank to be touring his Old Man Songs whenever he gets around to writing 'em. Sending love and gratitude 🤘🤘
I've been thinking about that recently as well
I went through my own Mother getting Throat cancer, which then went up her brain stem and "became" Brain cancer. It was hell, she was always in bed, and when she could, her poor little butt sat on the couch for sum TV. MAN did she ever look like "that was it" like she would keel over at any moment, but she stuck it through. She had to get surgery, as it had grown up to 7cm in diameter around the stem. She got lucky, REAL lucky, and they were able to remove 5 of those cm, and then they blasted it with chemo, and to all of our surprise she went into remission not long after, and is still around to this day. Glad to hear you've entered into the stage where you can begin Living again brother. Your story really hit a nerve, brought all that back, but I am happy for it, and happy for you. We all wish you nothing but the best, Love you guys both. Peace ,\/..
You've taught us all along the way. Congratulations, and I hope your health only continues